Divine Encounters Episode 057 | Near-Death Experience Story
Anna Stone spent about twenty years as a research scientist in a neural engineering lab, working with brain tissue and trusting only what could be tested, until a medical emergency left her, she says, out of her body and watching a team give up on resuscitating her. In this Divine Encounters episode she tells Alex Ferrari what she says she saw in those six minutes, why it overturned a lifetime of black-and-white thinking, and how she now brings science and spirit together.
Key Takeaways
- Anna says she was a research scientist with about twenty years on contracts tied to the Department of Defense, DARPA, UCLA and a VA hospital, and believed only in what could be demonstrated.
- She says she felt herself dying, then popped out of her body and watched the team try to resuscitate her.
- She describes feeling no emotional attachment to her body, but noticing, “Oh crap, I’m still me,” sarcasm included.
- Anna says that the moment she thought of her kids, she was instantly with them, seeing her daughter at a college exam and her little one playing in the waiting room.
- She describes a blank, softly lit space where she felt souls linked together, sharing data, and met another version of herself who told her she was going back.
- She says her fear of judgment and hell left her, and she is “much more myself now.”
- Her message: we are “one of 8 billion fragments of source,” so love yourself, be kind and look for what we share.
| Guest | Anna Stone |
| Episode | Divine Encounters 057 |
| Background | A research scientist of about twenty years in a neural engineering lab, raised in a strict Baptist home |
| What Anna says happened | A ruptured ectopic pregnancy caused heavy internal bleeding; she says she left her body during resuscitation |
| Time away | About six minutes without oxygen, according to Anna |
| Where she says she went | Her daughter’s classroom, then a blank, lit space where she felt linked souls |
| Who she met | Another iteration of herself, who told her she was going back |
| What changed | She says her guilt about tarot and the paranormal vanished, and she began to integrate science and spirit |
A Scientist Who Trusted Only What Could Be Tested
Alex asks the opening question, and Anna answers with her résumé. She was a research scientist for about twenty years, she says, on different contracts for the Department of Defense, DARPA, UCLA and a VA hospital, all working together. She worked in a neural engineering lab with brain tissue.
She thought in very scientific, black and white terms, she says, in terms of what could be demonstrated with scientific testing and instrumentation. Everything in her world was black and white.
She grew up in a very strict Baptist home. Around age eight, she says, she noticed that how her family acted did not match what they said. That, she says, was the beginning of her black sheep status.
A Life Coming Apart
Anna is candid about the season before. She says her life was falling apart. In her words, it was the worst version of herself. She had lost her way. She had no motivation. She had a daughter who was almost two.
Addiction and depression were part of the picture, she says, and she did not connect them to anything else yet. Looking back, she names a deeper cause: she says she had been denying her true, authentic self, and the inner turmoil showed up as addiction, depression and anxiety.
If this feels familiar, you are not alone. If you are struggling, you are not alone. In the US you can call or text 988 any time.
The Day She Felt Sick
On the day it happened, Anna says, she felt a little sick and dizzy. She thought she was having a very long period. She came out and joked that she thought she was bleeding to death. She was joking, she says, but she was not.
The next thing she knew, she was in the hospital. She figures she fainted. She says there was a blood transfusion in progress, which terrified her because the idea of someone else’s blood in her body felt gross to her.
She was told she had an ectopic pregnancy that had ruptured and caused internal bleeding, and that she had lost about half her blood. She thought to herself that she was fine. Then, she says, as soon as she thought that, she felt herself dying.
The Pop
Anna says she knew for a fact that the feeling that came over her was death. It was unmistakable and panic inducing, she says, as if something was very, very wrong. The tension built from the inside out until she felt she was going to explode.
Then she did pop, she says, only out of her body. She was looking at herself lying in the bed. She watched the next few minutes as the team coded her and tried to resuscitate her.
She immediately knew what had happened. And she had one profound thought: she had no emotional attachment to the body at all. It was just a factual thing. that sucks, she remembers thinking. That was it.
Then came a surprise. “Oh crap, I’m still me.” Her attitude was still there. Her sarcasm was still there. But she was detached from the human feelings and emotions we are used to, and she realized it was not a big deal.
A Thought of Her Kids
Then Anna had a brief thought of her children. The instant she thought it, she says, she was 210 miles away, in her oldest daughter Ashley’s college classroom. Ashley was taking a test. Anna says she could see what she was wearing, see her stress, and see the clock on the wall behind her.
And then she was immediately back at the hospital, looking at her little one in the waiting room playing with Legos. She says she felt fine about it all, and went back to where her body was.
She watched the team stop working on her. A younger technician said they should stop, because she was only in her thirties. Then the doctor made an offhanded comment about her, which she says was untrue. She notes that this would normally have upset her. It did not. She just thought, was that necessary? It was facts.
Readers who want more on this kind of detail may enjoy our glossary entry on near-death experience.
A Blank, Lit Space
Anna says she was standing to the right of her body. When she looked to the left, she was no longer in the hospital. Looking one way took her somewhere else. It was, she says, like a room, and she knew she was supposed to be waiting for something to happen. She says it is the best she can do with the language she has.
There were no people. No tunnel. No ghosts or spirits of dead relatives. It was a blank space, lit from an unseen source, with no chairs. She could feel a lot going on around her but could not see any of it.
She was aware, she says, that people, energy and souls were all linked up together, sharing data, uploading like a collective. If she had stayed, she says, she would have been linked up and uploaded all her memories.
Our entry on consciousness may be a useful companion here.
No Body, No Head, Yet Seeing Everything
In that space, Anna says, she realized she did not have a body. She felt huge. Humans, she says, take up so much space. There was an outline of sorts to her, an edge of her consciousness, but it was not definable. It was like little pinpoints of light.
She was seeing 360 degrees, including behind her. She figured she had no head, because there were no bones to block the view. She had no eyes. So how was she seeing? She was a little perturbed, she says, but mostly curious. I guess I will figure it out, she thought.
Another Iteration of Herself
Then, from nowhere, Anna says, a woman stood in front of her. It was her. Another iteration of her. Her face looked a little different, with different expression lines, as if she had had different experiences. But it was her. Anna did not even question it.
She then heard a word. Nope. She knew what it meant: no, you are going back. You know what is going on.
She looked back at her body and wondered how she would fit, as she was so huge. She says she went in through the belly button, shoved back through her navel. She does not know why. It seemed weird to her.
Coming Back
That was when she saw a tunnel, on the way back in. It was very painful, she says, and it shot her upright. She was still hooked up to the machines. Everyone had their backs turned, filling out paperwork.
She felt like someone had held her head underwater until the second she could not take it. For six minutes, she says, she had no oxygen. The first breath was loud and shocking and disorienting, and the gasps were stressful.
As soon as she could catch her breath, she asked the doctor if he had said what he said. He apologized, she says, though he thought she was trying to get him in trouble. She just needed to know if she had really heard it. Coming back, she says, she thought: I just died, and this cannot be real, because I do not believe in this. If the doctor said no, she could tell herself it was just neurons misfiring. But he said there was no way she could have heard it. She was clinically dead.
Everything Changed
“It changed my entire life,” Anna says. She says she came back unable to drink alcohol. She had tried to stop before and it had not worked. Now, she says, her body would not take it. She received it as a blessing.
It was also hard. She remembers lying on the couch thinking: girl, you just died, what are you doing with yourself? All the things she had been avoiding hit her, and she knew she had to get her life together.
She is honest about the struggle. She does not know what happens after six minutes, she says. She only knows what happened in those six minutes. Almost four decades of thinking one way shifted in six minutes, and it racks her brain. She compares it to a zip drive: things keep popping up, and she will suddenly know something or have a revelation.
The Experiences She Had Always Denied
Anna says she had paranormal experiences her whole life, even when she did not believe in them. She says she was tormented as a kid by the house they lived in, which she describes as haunted and scary, but she convinced herself it was imagination, because that was what she was told. Science, she thought. Her family would also say things like, don’t act that way, and she would get in trouble for telling someone something that was going to happen before it did.
So she brainwashed herself, she says, into believing nothing existed. She had also been told that tarot cards meant she would go to hell. After her experience, she says, her Christian guilt and terror of being judged and burning in hell for eternity were completely gone. “I’m much more myself now,” she says. She no longer feels guilt about reading tarot cards. Our entry on tarot offers background.
She says she is okay being a weirdo, and that the fight inside herself, between two sides that could not mix, is what had put her in such a bad way. Now she is integrating them. She does research on this in a scientific manner, and she says she can marry the psychic side she loves with science. She mentions that quantum physics and quantum mechanics are now something we can talk about, and that mainstream science is supporting more of it. See our entry on quantum consciousness for more.
It Was Planned, and What She Does With It
A couple of months later, Anna says, it popped into her head why it had gone the way it did. She was told not to stress about it. She says the message was that she was fine because she knew she was not staying, and that is why she had not been upset. “You had already planned this.”
She says that thought changed how she lives. Now she says “I am all about getting experiences in now,” not waiting for later. She has held many jobs that do not match each other, because once her interest is caught, she goes for it. She does not want to be old and wishing she had done things.
The bigger piece is giving back. She says it is her job to help other people, because that is why she went through it. She cannot consider a life fulfilling unless she is facilitating for others.
Drops in the Same Sea
Anna describes who we are in a simple picture. We are experiencing humanity and human emotions as “one of 8 billion fragments of source.” Each is an individual drop of water, and together the drops make “that sea of consciousness and understanding.”
So, she says, it comes down to this. “Learn to love yourself despite your flaws,” and be kind to the people around you despite theirs. We are not different on the inside. “We all come from the same place.” And “We’re all going back to the same place.” She asks us to stop getting twisted about our differences and start looking at the similarities.
Placing Anna’s Story Beside Common Themes
Anna’s account includes things many experiencers describe: leaving the body, watching resuscitation, a lack of emotional attachment, and a sense of being sent back. It also includes things that are less common, like a blank waiting space and meeting another version of herself. Her scientific background is part of why she tells it so carefully.
Researchers have studied near-death experiences for decades. Psychiatrist Bruce Greyson published his 16-item NDE Scale in 1983 as a way to measure them. What they mean is still debated. For the bigger picture, read our complete guide to near-death experiences.
Questions to Sit With
- Anna says she denied parts of herself for years. What part of you have you been hiding, and what might happen if you let it be seen?
- She says she feels fully herself now. What would feeling “more yourself” look like this week?
- If we are all drops in the same sea, how might you treat the person who most frustrates you today?
This week, notice one place where you say you do not believe something. Get curious about it for five minutes, with no need to decide.
Spiritual Takeaways
- Anna says she was still herself, humor included, after leaving her body.
- She says souls feel linked together, as if sharing data.
- She says fear of judgment and hell fell away, and guilt about her own gifts went with it.
- She says denying who we are can cause inner turmoil, and that integrating science and spirit helped.
- She says we all come from the same place and are going back to the same place.
Please enjoy my conversation with Anna Stone.
Guest Links: Connect With Anna Stone
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Frequently Asked Questions
Who is Anna Stone?
Anna Stone is the guest of this Divine Encounters episode. She is a former research scientist who says she had a near-death experience after a ruptured ectopic pregnancy and was without oxygen for about six minutes.
What did Anna Stone do before her experience?
She says she was a research scientist for about twenty years in a neural engineering lab, working with brain tissue on contracts tied to the Department of Defense, DARPA, UCLA and a VA hospital.
Was Anna religious before her experience?
She says she was raised in a very strict Baptist home, did not believe in anything she could not test, and carried a lot of guilt about tarot and anything paranormal.
What happened to Anna in the hospital?
She says she felt herself dying, popped out of her body, and watched the team try to resuscitate her. She says she was then briefly with her kids and in a blank, softly lit space.
Did Anna see a tunnel?
She says she did not see a tunnel on the way out. She says she saw one coming back, and that it was painful.
Who did Anna meet?
She says she met another iteration of herself, who stood in front of her and let her know, with the word nope, that she was going back.
What did Anna feel in the blank space?
She says she felt souls and energy linked together, sharing data, like a collective. She had no body, but saw in 360 degrees.
How did the experience change Anna?
She says her guilt and fear of hell went away, she stopped drinking alcohol, she began to accept her psychic side and she now brings science and spirit together.
Why does Anna say it happened?
She says it later came to her that she had already planned the experience, and that it was a turning point meant to help her give back to others.
What is Anna’s core message?
She says we are all drops in the same sea of consciousness, so love yourself, be kind to others, and look for similarities instead of differences.
Is a near-death experience proof of an afterlife?
Next Level Soul shares near-death experiences as lived experiences told in the person’s own words. Researchers continue to study and debate what they mean. Nothing here is medical advice or a medical claim.
Keep Exploring
- The complete guide to near-death experiences
- What consciousness means
- What is a near-death experience?
- Jack Morrigan, an atheist, on his life-changing NDE
- Stephanie Kraft, an atheist, on seeing Jesus and learning life’s purpose
- Betty Guadagno on being an angry atheist and addict who died
- Dr. Manmit Kummar, a scientist, on hearing spirit guides
- Anton Grosz, a scientist, on discovering we are one
- Browse more free masterclasses and the Divine Encounters podcast.
Follow Along with the Transcript
Alex Ferrari 0:00
Tell me what your life was like before you died.
Anna Stone 0:08
I was a research scientist about 20 years on it, like on different contracts for Department of Defense, DARPA, UCLA, VA hospital, like all working in conjunction together, and I was in a neural engineering lab, and so I worked in with brain tissue. So I was a scientist, and I thought in very scientific black and white terms of how things are and how they aren't, but by what we can prove, you know, with scientific testing and instrumentation. So that was that, like, everything was black and white in my world. I grew up in a very, very religious, like, Baptist home. We couldn't, like, it was really super strict. Around age eight, I seen something that I didn't sit well well with me, how my family was reacting compared to what they were saying. And, like, didn't jive. That was start of my black sheep status. But then I had a period of, kind of my life falling apart, and was just a total loser. Like, at this point in my life, it's like, the worst iteration of me possible. I just completely lost my way as a total just a loser, like I just was, I just had no motivation, nothing. I had a new kid, like my daughter was, like, two, almost two at the time, and I was just being a totally waste of space. And I was feeling a little sick. I didn't feel so great. I was getting like, dizzy and stuff. And, you know, I thought I was having my cycle, like, a really long time. And I came out the day that this happened. I was like, I think I'm bleeding to death guys. And I was joking about it, but not and the next thing that I know, I'm in the hospital. Like, so I guess I fainted right then, I guess that's when I found out that had a blood transfusion thing happening, which was just terrifying to me, because the idea of that was just really gross and to me like someone else's blood in my body. And it didn't dawn on me what was happening, you know, other than that. And then I was told I had a ectopic pregnancy that had ruptured and caused internal bleeding, and I had lost like half of my blood, and they had to do this transfusion. And I was like, Oh, okay. And I thought to myself, like, I'm fine. But then as soon as I thought that it was like my body felt like I felt myself dying, like 100% like, I know for a fact that this feeling that came over me was death, and like, how it felt was so unmistakable and panic inducing, kind of, you know, something was very wrong, you know, like, very, very wrong. And I knew it. And then it was so intense, I felt like I was gonna literally explode. Like I felt like my there was so much tension building up from the inside out, like inside of me. Like, I felt like I was gonna pop, but like, it got to this point where it was, like, too much, and I just, I did pop, but like, only out of my body, and then I, like, so I'm, I was out, I'm looking at myself laying in the bed, and like, you know, I watched the next few minutes of them, you know, my me coding, and them trying to resuscitate me and stuff. Like, immediately I knew what happened. Like, it was weird. And that's actually that thought that I had, like, I had this one, like, profound, you know, thought of like, when I realized that I wasn't in my body anymore, and I'm looking at my body, and I had no emotional attachment to it in any way, shape or form. It was just a factual thing, like, that sucks. That was it. That's like, the only thing I said. And then at that point I was like, Oh crap, I'm still me. Like, my attitude still here, my sarcasm is still here, like, you know, like, interesting. It was just a very devoid of emotion, very detached from the human feelings and emotions that we're used to. And didn't have those. I realized it wasn't a big deal. But then I had this brief second of my kids, you know, and that the SEC, like, instant, instantaneous, like, as soon as I said my kids, I was immediately 210, miles away, where my daughter, Ashley, my oldest one, was in college taking a test, and I was in her classroom. I could see what she's wearing, her stressing out over there on her desk the time it was on the wall of the clock, you know, behind her in the night was immediately back at the hospital, looking at my little one who's in the waiting room playing Legos, whatever. And I was like, fine. And then I went back into the where I was with my body for a minute and just watched them stop working on me and give up on resuscitating me. And one of the guys, the younger technician, or whatever he was, he said, We're gonna stop now. Like she's, you know, she's only 30, whatever, you know, like you said, She's, like, only in her 30s or something. And the doctor had made this offhanded comment about, what do you expect? She's a former gun and I was not a former guy. That's not true. So that would make me mad, right? Like that normally would upset me that someone said that I wasn't upset at all. I was just like, necessary, like that was the thought that went through my head was, was that necessary? But it wasn't upset, and it wasn't even, like, angry. It was just facts. I'm there, am I looking at my body, and I'm like, standing to the right side of me, like, in the room, and so I'm looking to my right and I'm in the room. But if, and then I noticed that if I looked over to the left, I wasn't in the hospital anymore, somewhere else, like looking one way took me somewhere else, like it just was in this other place, and it was like, like a waiting it was, I don't want to say a waiting room, because that's like, the best I can do, though, with the language that I have, is it was like a room, and I knew it was somewhere I was supposed to be waiting for something to happen. There was no people. I didn't see any tunnel. There was no ghosts or spirits of dead relatives. I was just in this room. It was, like lit up from some unseen, like, source. I was just like a waiting room, like no chairs or anything. So just a space, you know, like a blank space, and, um, so I went there, and I didn't see anybody for a while, but I could feel stuff around me, like there was a lot of things going on, but I couldn't see any of it. It. Could feel it, though. Wow. And it was like, I was very aware that people, energy, souls, whatever, were all linked up together, like sharing data, like uploading their like, I feel like, if I had stay, you know, if I was staying, I would be linked up and, like, uploaded all my memories, or something for that collective kind of, that's kind of what it felt like. I couldn't, and I was at this point, I realized I don't have a body, like, for a while in the bed. It didn't dawn on me that, like, Hey, that was the body. So you don't have it now, you're just this form of ish. And it was huge. Like, we are human, we're very big, taking up tons, like, so much space. Then there is, like, an outline ish to you, right? There's an edge of your consciousness, but it's not definable, really, buy anything other than it was like, little pinpoints of light, I guess, like, it was weird. And I realized, Wait, how am I seeing like? I'm seeing 360 degrees so I can see behind me. And I'm like, Alright, so I don't have a head, because there's no bones in my head to block. Wait, there's no bone. I don't have a head. I have no eyes. So How the hell am I seeing like? So I was kind of a little bit perturbed, not perturbed, but just like, interesting. Hey, I guess I'll figure it out. And then all of a sudden there's a person standing in front of me that came out of literally nowhere, and it was a woman, and it was literally me, just another iteration of me. Standing in front of me looked a little different, though, like her face was a little different. Had worn different lines, like different expression lines, and things like that. Like we had different experiences, clearly, but it was me. And I just like, I guess I knew what was going on. I because I didn't even question it. And then I heard that word note, that's it, like, I heard nope, and like that. I just knew what that meant. It meant, no, you're going back. You know what's going on. And, like, and I looked back at my body, and I was like, how am I going to fit in there? I'm so huge. And then I went into the belly button. I got shoved, like, back through my navel. Why? I don't know, like, That's so weird to me. And that's when I saw a tunnel, like coming back in was when I saw a tunnel, and that hurt so much. It was very painful on the way back in, and that's what shot me up and brought me back. I was still hooked up to the machine, like they hadn't taken off the leads. Everybody's back was turned to me, like they were all filling out paperwork and stuff, and I just shot up so there was no, like, warning deeps let them know. Like I was coming back. I felt like, how I felt was, like, if someone had held my like, literally, it felt like, if that somebody had my head underwater and was holding me underwater, and until the second I couldn't, like, take it when I was gonna, you know, drown, like, inhale water like, I could not breathe because for six minutes I had no oxygen. So I was coming out of that and taking that first breath to, like, recuperate the oxygen I didn't I was deprived of for like, six minutes, so it was loud and shocking, and it was very disorienting for me. And then the jumping around in the room and loud audible gasps were also stressful as well. And then I looked at the doctor, and I was like, Did you as soon as I could catch my breath. I said, Did you say like, she used former junky and he went an anthem. He just looked at me like, you know, I'm like, did you say that? Like, did you say that about me? Like, and I think I'm pretty sure he thought I was trying to, like, get him in trouble, but I wasn't my goal. I just, I needed to know, did I actually hear that? Because upon coming back, it was very clear, like, Oh my Oh, my God, I just died. I knew what happened, and this can't be real, because I don't believe in this at all. And so he can't have said that. Like, this can't be right. So I'm gonna ask him, and then he's gonna tell me, No, I didn't say that. That's just your neurons mispowering or whatever. He apologized, and he still thought I was trying to get him in trouble. He didn't realize what he didn't get, what I was trying to do, like, at all. I just, I just need to know, if you said it, did I hear that? Like, did I hear it? And he's like, there's no way you could have heard that, like, you were clinically dead. It changed my entire life. Like, everything about it, my entire life is different now, like, I stopped, like, for instance, like I can't drink alcohol anymore, so I literally came back sober, like that six minutes cleared me about a drinking problem. I tried and I couldn't. My body basically wouldn't take it, and I just like, Fine, forget it. Now, I tried that before, and it didn't work out, you know, so this was weird, and the doctor's gonna tell me what they're like, just take it as a blessing. Like, at one point, I remember laying on the couch and just thinking, like, Girl, your life is a new kid. Like, what are you doing with yourself? Like, you just died. Like, it was really hard on me, like, because I it was, like, all the stuff I've been avoiding, like, all that hit me and like, I've got to take care of stuff. I can't do this anymore. Like, I've got to get my life together. And then it was like I died and I saw things like, my person, I existed past this. Like, I don't know what happens after six minutes. I can only say for six minutes, what happens, right? Like, I don't know. Maybe it all goes nothing. It goes away. I can't tell you, but those six minutes were like, it was not cool, like I was really upset about it because, and I still have a hard time with it, actually, because it racks my brain. Like it's just a lot. It's a lot. If I went 38-36 almost four decades of my life thinking one way, and to have that all shifted in six minutes is a lot to take in. It was like, almost like a file, like a zip drive or something, because it keeps, like things keep popping up in my mind now, but like, just out of nowhere, I'll just know something or have some like revelation about something. So I've had paranormal experiences my whole life, despite the fact that I didn't believe in any like, despite that, I was like, you know, nope, this doesn't exist. I had been tormented as a kid by like, the house we lived in was so haunted and scary, but I would convince myself it was my imagination, right? Because that's what I was told, that's science. So I would deny all of these things i. Experiences I had all the time and my family would also say, like, things like, don't, like, don't act that way. If you're saying something, like, telling somebody something was gonna happen before it did, like, you'd get in trouble. I'd get in trouble for that kind of stuff, you know, like, like, a bad thing. So I just would be like, it's not real. It's not I just, I brainwash myself to believe nothing existed now. I'm like, well, that's not true so and all the stuff they told me about tarot card and things like that, like, I was gonna go to hell and like, I left, the one thing that I was very grateful for was all my Christian guilt of, like, my terror of like being judged and like burning in hell for eternity, was completely it just completely murdered that day. Like, thank God. Like, it like for me anyway, can you believe what you want? But like, I know for me I'm good. So I was like, thank you. So I don't have any guilt about being someone that reads tarot cards. I don't have any guilt anymore about that, which is something that was ingrained into me, like, indoctrinated, like, it was wrong, it was bad, it was against God kind of stuff. So that helped a lot. That was a very big benefit for me, and I'm much more myself now. Like, who I am weirdo, like, how weird and strange I am, and I'm okay with that. Like, before, I was hiding it all the time because it was against God, well, that's the that's the fight I had in myself this whole time, and, like, that's why I was in such a bad way. Like, the denying, like, of myself and my true, like, authentic self was causing such inner turmoil, like within me that it was causing me to have addiction problems and depression and anxiety and things like that. And like, I didn't that would never cross my mind to put those things together. I was like, have this, you know, this dichotomy of like, this side and this side, and they don't mix together. They can't and now it's like, I'm integrating all of that together and doing research on this stuff like and in a scientific manner. So like, I've been able to now take the both sides of that I love about myself, like the psychic stuff, the understanding now of what's real, really on the other side, and be able to, like, marry those two with science. Like, in this it worked, because now quantum physics and quantum mechanics, like, it's become talk, we can talk about it now, like, and it's it's being supported in actual mainstream science, which is amazing. Um, one day, couple months later, you know, it was just popped into my head, like, why it was that way, and, like, why it was that and that it don't stress about it. It's you're fine because you knew you weren't staying you knew that that's why you weren't upset. You already knew this was planned. You had already planned this. This was an exit strategy for you when your life got too off the rails. For me, that's a big one now is, I've done a lot of things with my life that don't match each other, like, you know, different jobs that I've had because I wanted to, and that, like, for me continuing on that path of, like, once I get my interest bar that I go for it, and I find a way to get into that thing, and for however long that needs to happen, because at the end of the day, I don't want to be old and sitting there wishing I'd done things with my life, and I don't, can't do them now. So, like, none of that, like, I am all about getting experiences in now, and, like, not waiting for later and all. But then the big one on top of that is to make sure that I'm giving back to other people. So I'm gonna help, because that's my job, because that's that's why I was through that. If you just go through stuff in life and then you're just like, and when it's over, and you're like, whatever you know, and you just get to go about your business, well, happy for you. But like that is not my path. Like I have got to be there to help facilitate for other people in order for me to have what I consider to be a fulfilling life. And it's the like we're here experiencing humanity and human emotions as this fragmented one of 8 billion fragments of source. And it's like each individual drop of in of water, but like all those drops of water together form that sea of consciousness and understanding and like, that's what we are so to learn to love yourself despite your flaws, despite all your shortcomings, and to learn to like be nice and kind to the people around you despite their short shortcomings and their flaws, that's what it's about. We're not different, literally, we're not different at all. We are different on the outside to your eye, but not on the inside. Everybody's exactly the same. We all come from the same place. We're all going back to the same place. So y'all need to get it stop being all twisted about your differences and like, start looking at the similarities instead.
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