Atheist Stunned by Life-Changing Near-Death Experience (NDE) with Jack Morrigan

Alex Ferrari 0:00
Tell me what your life was like before you died.

Jack Morrigan 0:08
So I was an atheist, and I'd studied medicine, and I was working in psychological research, so I had no interest in this kind of thing, other than in like fantasy films and sci fi and stuff like that. Like, I wished all that was true, you know, but it's not true. That was my mentality. One day, someone just recommended a spiritual teacher, and I looked at their one of their videos, and I was looking at him, and I was like, why is this guy glowing like it was just like everything just disappeared from the background, and he was just shining this light out of him. And as I was looking at him, everything went quiet in my mind. And I was intrigued by that. And one of his videos was it said how to stop thinking. And I was like, hmm, is thinking a bad thing? Like, I didn't even know that that's a bad thing, but I'll give that a try, like I'll see if I can stop my thoughts. So I sat on my bed and I basically copied what I'd seen in movies from meditation, because I'd never done it before, and followed it along. I started observing my thoughts, and to my surprise, they slowed down, and then they stopped completely. They completely stopped, and in their place, was just a sense of peace. And I was looking around my room, and everything was glowing with a similar light that I'd just seen in this teacher. And I was in that state for about 20 or 30 minutes, and with like, no thoughts going through my mind at all. And when I came out of it, the first thing I started thinking was, this is going to change my life like this is what I've been looking for all my life. I didn't even know. I didn't know this was an option to be in this state of consciousness. You know, I'd experimented with drugs mostly just to try and cope with trauma that I'd had from childhood, and so I'd had some psychedelic experiences. But this was like so much cleaner and clearer and better, and it was free, and I can just follow this advice, and I can go into this state of consciousness. He was the first spiritual teacher that I really came across like I didn't have any background or anything, so I was just like, whatever has just happened to me. Obviously, Eckhart knows what it is, because he's triggered it. So I, I was following his teachings for a while, for a few months, and then he recommended Ramana Maharshi in one of his books. And so I was like, Okay, well, if Eckhart thinks that this guy's the real deal, I'll look into him. So I looked into him, found out this little book called Nanyang, which is just like the basic teachings of Ramana Maharshi, and he explains that you're you're meant to look at your thoughts like and question To whom do they arise like? So when a thought comes up, you ask yourself, Who is this arising to? And it's to me, but then who am I? And you follow that line of inquiry and remain focused on it. And I'm the kind of person who, when I decide that I'm going to do something, I just do it 100% and I completely go all in. So that's what I did with this teaching. And I didn't realize how powerful of a teaching it is and what it could do. And so what it ended up doing was triggering, basically a near death experience in me. I ended up getting drunk one night and sharing it with a friend of mine, and as fun as I showed him the same video that I had watched, and I thought, Okay, this is going to be great. Like, he's going to have this experience, and it's going to be absolutely amazing. It's going to blow his mind. This is going to be fantastic. And by when the video finished, he was just like, Oh yeah, that was cool. And I was like, What do you mean that was cool? Like, why isn't he having this massive experience and that that was really difficult to process, like I couldn't understand why it was happening to me and it wasn't happening to other people. I started talking to other people who were following Eckhart tolle's teachings, and it wasn't happening to them. It was a confusing time. It got more confusing so I was sleeping, and I'd started having a lot of lucid dreams. I think I was so dedicated to the meditation, it was making my mind very clear so I would be aware while I was shifting through different states of consciousness, like in sleep. And in one of these dreams, there was a teacher sat in front of me, and he said to me, bring your attention, bring your awareness into your left hand, and then bring your awareness into your right hand. So I did that, and he said, the hands are different, left hand, right hand. I'm like, Yeah, I can feel them. I can feel the difference. And then he says, The awareness is the same, and I could feel that, like I experienced it, like, Oh, my God. Like, yeah, the awareness that is sensing both of these hands is the same. And that realization, like triggered something inside my psyche or inside my spirit, and it caused the whole dream to collapse in on itself, and I felt this rotation, like my spine was rotating backwards at this really insane angle, and then there was this loud snap. Then I was just in darkness, just darkness and in. Distance, there was a point of light, and it started to grow. And as it grew, I felt this intense fear, like I was gonna die, like, absolutely certain, you know, like I'm gonna die, this is the end. But with it also this, like ecstasy, like this ecstatic, pleasurable feeling. And they just kept rising with each other, and at some point, all I could see was the light, but I could feel this invisible threshold in front of me, and I felt like an invitation to cross, like you can cross over if you want to into the light. And I was like, There's no way I'm gonna do that. Like, if I cross over into this light, that's it. It's game over. Like I'm dead. So I felt like there was some kind of benevolent force around me, and it just gave me this little nudge, kind of like a parent, like with a toddler, just encouraging them to do the right thing. So then I crossed over into the light. All the fear completely disappeared like it had never been there. All I could experience was just this ecstasy and golden light muscle that was there. I was there for, I don't know how long, like it's really hard to tell time. But then I returned to my body, and I could feel that same energy moving up and down my spine. I've learned since about Kundalini awakening and near death experiences, which I didn't really know about at the time. It was, it was very, very intense, and after that, my consciousness had changed. So it's like it was like the dinner switch just turned up, like loads, and suddenly I was aware of all these things I wasn't aware of before, like being able to see energy and feel energy, being able to communicate with deities, beings from other dimensions, and having out of body experiences where I would meet those beings and all this stuff that I was like, you know, this is fantasy and sci fi, but it's happening like this is real, that this is actually happening like all those things are real. So that was the big kind of shock to my system, of like, hang on, I'm atheist. No, this is true. I was out of work for two and a half years, in bed, a lot of the time, just letting the energy settle. So it took so long for it to integrate into my psyche and for me to come back to be a relatively ordinary human being. But with all this stuff still open, there's an energy that comes along with it once, once you've been there, your body just resonates with it. You know, it transmits it, and that then spreads to other people, through voice, through sound, through image, and it will start to awaken people. It'll, you know, it'll vibrate like the seeds of consciousness that are in them. It will water them, and then they'll start to flower. It's something that I see a lot of people now that like chasing kundalini awakening, you know, and they're chasing different forms of awakening and and if you've done that preparation like that, like you're talking about, then that's a fantastic thing to be that's a fantastic goal to be aiming toward. But if you haven't done that preparation, you know, you can do that, you know. And it's a free world. It's your choice if you want to do that. And but be aware that there are risks associated with that. Like, you can, you know, that's a real shock to the system. And if your awareness just suddenly goes up a lot, it's going to shine on everything. Like, it's not just going to shine on the happy, fun stuff, like, it's going to shine on all of that stuff that you wish wasn't in your psyche. I was in bed just having nightmares, you know, and I'd wake up with sweats just because it was, it was all that trauma that I running away from and using drugs and alcohol to run away from. It was like, it was time to deal with it. It's like, okay, and I didn't have a choice, you know, I wouldn't have chosen to deal with it, to be honest. Like I was dragged kicking and screaming into all of this. I'm very grateful for it. Now that the dust has settled and that my consciousness is open, I feel healthier, but that was a really challenging time, and it's something that I try and give caution to if someone is just trying to rush into the Kundalini awakening one time when I took LSD, like, the one time that I've taken it when I was freaking out because I had to get flight. And I was like, I can't be flying on LSD, like, this isn't good.

And I remember looking at a tree and feeling this connection to the tree, and the tree was basically, everything's gonna be fine. And I was like, Oh, thank God, yeah, everything's gonna be fine. The tree told me, and I totally believed it. I could feel it inside me, and I was just like, yeah, everything's fine. And it was completely fine from that moment on. But now I have those that experience with trees all the time, like all the time, it's one of the things that's that's happening more and more. To be honest, I've gone on this journey of consciousness where initially I was having these big like, up and out experiences, like out of body experiences. I was meeting angels, and all of this stuff was going on, and while on a human level, really struggling, like being in a lot of pain, but then my awareness started to come down, like I felt this descent movement. It started to go into my heart and then down, like through my abdomen, and just kept going down. Through my feet and then into the earth, and then into the heart of the earth. And something happened where I can feel the spirit in the earth beneath me all the time. I see her as this supreme deity that we're all born from, and that we will all die into. And all of our ancestors were born from, and all life on Earth was born from. And I can sense that in the spirit beneath me, and I can also feel that within the cosmos, I had an experience where I started to connect with dragons. I come from the scientific background, right? Like I was training to become a doctor, and now I'm having these experiences with dragons and things. And I'm like, This can't be real. It's just so real. And they are these immense cosmic beings, and through my connection with them in the energetic transmissions they've been sharing with me, I start to know myself as the cosmos, like I am cosmos. And we all are the cosmos, just being in this human form right now, but we are completely a part of it. We're like a cell in the body that is the cosmos, and we can open to that like we can communicate with ourself, which is the cosmos, in such a way that the flow of information becomes a lot healthier because we already know everything we need to know. So it can just flow through us and download into us. And then that going back to the idea of the matrix, well then it that realization is slightly but realizing the code, it's like, oh my god, this is all me, like I this is who I am. And it's just mind blowing. I have these experiences sometimes where I'll just feel the light of the sun on my skin, and I'll be like, I am the sun, like I know that I am. And it's one of those things that could sound a little trite like, but actually having those kinds of experiences is so, so profound, and it really moves me. I went into a period of isolation. I was in the rave scene. I was taking drugs, and I was doing all this stuff while I was living in London, when this happened, and just like, felt like there was this point where I just had to stop. It's like I had to choose. Basically, it's like, do you want to carry on that lifestyle, or do you want to go deeper into spirit? And I was like, I want to go deeper into spirit. Couldn't really keep that going with the friendships that I had. I knew that if I went out, I'd be pressured. I was like, people were taking offense, you know, and it's like, got to reassess who my friends are, because what's happening to me right now is something incredible, and I need friends who will support me in that. So I went into this period of isolation, basically for about two and a half years, I only saw family and one close friend who I'm so grateful for because he was actually open minded enough that I shared some of this with him. He was like, Okay, that's a true friend. But since then, I've had to shift gears, and I've changed my friendship groups and with people who are much more open minded about this kind of thing. But since it's all calmed down now as well, I'm just an ordinary person alongside everything that's happening now, I'm at a point where I can be friends with basically anyone. I feel like it's like being who you are, like truly being who you are, without needing to modify yourself. For other people like you are fully in the flow of life, exactly who you were born to be. You follow that all the way and feel like that's the best part. All those things like that you think are amazing, in these books, in these movies, it's all real. And the people around you, they won't believe you, and they will try and convince you that it's not true, but it is. It's true. Keep your heart open no matter what God is the present moment. Tune into the energy so that people can feel for themselves. I feel like it's this completely emotional, timeless part of ourselves that is always here, and that everything arises inside of and falls back into so it's like perfect safety, because it's completely self sustaining. Doesn't need anything. The purpose of life is to be what it is. But there's other parts to it. It's like there's a playfulness to be the artist that paints whatever the artist wants to paint, or to be the full expression of every possibility. And I feel like life has no conclusion, it has no end point, so there's just this constant dance, this endless dance, and we could give that a purpose, if we want to, but we could also make it purposeless, like it doesn't have to have a purpose. It can just be because it is. You are not alone. You are part of our living cosmos and our living world, which is billions of years old, and you're playing your part in a story that is that all and that will continue on. So your life is fundamentally of immense value, because you are seamlessly a part of all of this. So no matter what is happening in your life, try to remember that. Try to remember the bigger context of what's happening and flow with it as best you can. We're going through a huge transformation at the moment in human consciousness, and we all need to be here for each other and support each other as best we can so that we can remember the truth of who we are.