Angry Atheist & Addict Dies; Stunned by Who She Met in Heaven with Betty Guadagno

Alex Ferrari 0:00
Tell me what your life was like before you died.

Betty Guadagno 0:06
So it was on March 23, 2019 which is actually the beginning of the season of Aries, which is a symbol of rebirth, and it's right around the spring Solstice. And this was an epic rebirth. I took too much because I was gonna go do my laundry, and I was like, I better be real wavy to go do this laundry. I ended up overdosing, and I had this incredibly contrasted experience in my overdose. The first part of it was a life review, and like I said, I was a traumatized person who was intentionally traumatizing other people my life review was not nice, it was not a good time. It was brutal. It was agonizing. I started to experience the pain that I inflicted on others from their point of view, and it was emotional pain that I was feeling too, not just the physical things that I had done to people like lied, cheated, steal like stolen from beat in, you know, all of this physical stuff, the emotional pain and turmoil, like it felt like I had ripped a piece of their soul apart. And so that was what I was experiencing. And then I started to experience what felt like a collective life review. I was experiencing all the experiences that have ever happened on earth because I was experiencing things that had not happened in this physical lifetime for me, like I experienced childbirth, but I'm not a person who's had a child. I experienced the death of my child again, not a person who's had a child. My awareness is going into all of these other life experiences today. I have some awareness that those I've had past lives like that. And so it was kind of coming to me like that, but I was also seeing it from people's perspectives in my family. So when I had this experience of my child dying, I was in the awareness of my aunt who my cousin died. And so I was experiencing her pain. I was seeing her face, feeling her agony. And then I started to experience my parents suicide from their point of view, as well as my point of view as a grieving daughter, but from their point of view, the pain the ocean of anguish that I was drowning in, it felt like every cell in my body was covered in spikes and static and concrete, and I was being shredded apart. And in that moment, I thought, okay, I must be dead, because I'm seeing all these dead people, and I'm I'm dead, and this is it, and this sucks. This is not what I expected. It's I fell on my bathroom floor, and I just started to feel the feelings. And it took me years to piece together that it was a life review. I just used to say, you know, I saw my parents, and that's how I knew I was dead, because I saw my dead parents. But you know, the amount of emotions that I was experiencing was every emotion that you could ever have in the earth experience. So I was having this life force, energy activation. I was experiencing all of life, not just my life, every life. And it was, I mean, it wasn't the most intense thing ever, and I had a unity experience. And it was as if my soul was going up and down the scale of consciousness. I was experiencing grief and apathy and loss and anger and betrayal and then going into acceptance and willingness and unconditional love, but it was just rapid firing up and down. So the way that I perceive it is that everything that I was constructing was coming from My Mind's Eye. The space where I was had no physical features to it, but my mind's eye was constructing spaces within it. So while I was in that space of my parents death, I gave up, this is it? This is what life is now. And then I started to hear my father's voice, and he was chanting, you are worthy of all the love in the universe. You are worthy of all the love in the universe. It was him, yeah. And so I and then it kind of morphed into every masculine man that I've ever had in my life, and I started to follow those voices because I trusted them, because I knew my dad's voice. And as I was following that, that was when I traveled into the light, and I started to have a very different experience than the life review, which was very welcome. So I go into the light. And so everything looked a lot like a video game in my light experience, and that could be because of the generation that I'm born in, or because we're living in a simulation. So I end up what on what felt like the deck of a spaceship, and there was 1000s of other souls around me. I just don't have any better language for it. It actually looked like the inside of the Gravitron ride from carnivals. Do you remember that looks like a spaceship spins really fast? I came out of the side of one of those walls, and then in the center there was this commander. It felt like a commander to an army. And there was 1000s of souls all around me. And you can call that commander Christ or Krishna or Buddha higher there was a higher consciousness loving except. Accepting leading secure, and all these souls were all jazzed, like we are pumped, and our commander is telling us that we are the most special volunteers, and we have decided to jump to Earth for the transformation of consciousness. And everybody is cheering, and everybody's so excited. And, you know, I have no idea what's going on, but I know that I am part of this, and I feel the connection to all the other souls around me. My awareness quickly shifts over to another scene, and I find myself in front of a table of beings, and it was like this really crappy plastic like banquet hall table, nothing ornate, nothing beautiful. There was these beings behind the table, and I didn't ask them who they were, because I didn't need to, because I knew that they were people in charge. I didn't have to ask them who they were. I don't know if they're in charge of everything that is or just me, but they had this big, giant book, and they were thumbing through it and looking at me and looking at the book and saying, it's really nice to see you. You're not meant to stay. You're only here for information. And I'm like, looking all around me. I'm like, You guys aren't talking to me, are you? Because I don't know where I am, but I'm staying This place feels awesome where I just was not awesome this place. Yes, I want to stay here. And they just continue to look through the book and they said, You're here for information. And my awareness shifts to another scene, and I find myself with a man. He was again, like a video game, so it was kind of like NPC, and he's guiding me. He's wearing a plaid blazer and a fedora. He has this big, giant empty grocery cart, and he says, Okay, let's pick your life. And so I start Supermarket Sweep style, running through the aisles of a grocery store and lining the walls of the grocery store aisles were these big, huge, family size cereal boxes. And every cereal box has a life experience on it. And so my soul is like, let's do it. We're going to Earth. Great Awakening. Here we come, transformation of consciousness. And just starts grabbing everything. Now my family line had already been decided because there were certain experiences that I needed to have in this lifetime, I'm seeing my pre birth planning. So I'm seeing all of what's happening before I jump to Earth. This is all what's taking place before my jump. This is my pre birth experience with the cereal boxes, which is good foreshadowing, because I ate a lot of cereal as a kid, so I start grabbing all of these cereal boxes, and I'm grabbing things that one soul has no business taking on all this cereal, nobody can eat all this food in one lifetime, like addiction and poverty and, you know, sexual trauma. I got the variety pack of that one give it all to me, and the one, the one experience that I think is really profound, that I like to share about, is that I did choose this experience of childhood sexual trauma. I grabbed the cereal box, and when I pulled the cereal box out, a little orb of light came out with the box, and that orb of light was the Soul of the Man that molested me as a small child. And we came orb to orb with each other, and we came into contract, and I saw all the reasons why, one of the main reasons being that in a previous lifetime, I had been his abuser, and we were balancing our energy with each other. I also saw that we loved each other so much, and that's why we were going to play these roles to each other, that he was going to be the villain for me in this lifetime, my perpetrator. And I also saw that because I was coming to earth for the Great Awakening that particular life experience wasn't just about me, it was about healing for every little girl and boy who doesn't get an opportunity to heal from their childhood sexual trauma. And so I was taking this on with the intention that as I heal, everyone around me heals, I ripple it out into the universe. And so this experience, this knowledge, just cracked me out of my victim mentality. It felt like a whole shell had come off of me. Two tons of garbage had been released from my spirit. I'm not a victim. I'm a divine co creator. I have, I have co created, my experience with the divine. And so I find myself back in front of the table of the table of beings. I'm crying out in gratitude. I'm on my knees. This is so incredible. I'm so grateful to have this information. Earth is still a dumpster fire, though. I'm definitely not going back, but I feel so much better now that I know this, this great awakening. Show, it's gonna be lit. I'm gonna watch it from up here. I'm gonna grab my PJs and a bowl of popcorn, and I'm gonna chill with you guys. And they were like, No girl, you're going back. And I transformed into a small child, like hitting my hands and my feet, figurative hands and feet. There's nobody there, but like, just throwing a tantrum, I will not go back. You cannot make me go back. Do not make me go back. And then I cried out, you guys don't tell us what Earth is actually like. And they said, You say that every time you come back home, like literally every time you come back here. They said, You're not going back as a punishment. You're going back because you've been training for lifetimes, for this particular lifetime, this is a mission that you're on, and we're not gonna let you miss your opportunity this. Is the most exciting time to be on earth. Every soul that is here is here for the transformation of consciousness. And I said, Well, I can't go back into her. And I could see my body outside myself, just like blasted out on my bathroom floor. I was like, Look at her. She's a mess. She's glitched, she's broken. She needs way too much healing it would be impossible to accomplish. I can't go back into her. And they said, okay, you don't have to go back into her. I will show you the baby that you'll be born into, because you're going back. There's no other option. And so I could kind of perceive my grocery cart getting shoved over to the side my my life experience grocery cart. And then again, like a video game, a little avatar of a baby popped up. It was like slowly circling 360 degrees. And I saw all her stats line up next to her, her gender, her ethnicity, where she would be born, who her parents were, what was her adversity, her purpose, parts of her mission. And this baby was going to have an even more challenging life than my own. And I thought, I can't do this from zero, if these are really my only options to go back into that glitched, broken body that I just came from, or start over, I'm just gonna go back into the body that I came from. And the beings of light were very loving, and they said to me, listen, first part of your life was boot camp. Nobody likes boot camp. There's like a bald guy screaming in your face. You're doing 1000 push ups in the mud. It's gross. The second part of your life is gonna be carrying out your mission. You're going to have a team. You're going to have soulmates, kindred spirits, mentors, teachers, communities. It's going to be so much better. You won't even be able to understand. Just trust us. And I was like, I do not trust you guys. Peace. I found myself back in my awareness. I found myself back in my body, and I just wrote the whole thing off as drug induced psychosis. I kind of sat up, shook my head. I was like, damn, I was so high. I thought I was talking to God. That was crazy. And I just went about my life doing the same thing I'd always been doing. Living a fulfilled life is just about experience. It means all the experience, good, bad and indifferent. I want to experience all of it that is fulfilling to me. And being of service, oh, my God, I'm a service junkie. Now that's my new drug of choice. And being of service doesn't have to be some grand act where you donate 1000s of dollars to a cause. It could just be holding the door open for a stranger, or paying somebody a compliment or accepting a compliment. That's also an act of service. The source is all that is as a piece of energy. I'm sparked from a source of energy. That's my conception of God, and it's unconditional love, it's safety, it's security, it's all of these amazing feelings of peace and serenity. That's how I conceptualize God. So when I'm praying. I'm praying to those attributes, and God is not a form or a gender or race or a class, in my mind, just this effervescent ball of unconditional love that I'm sparked from. Love is, you know, on earth, obviously, like we, we romanticize the idea of love. We think about a romantic partner or even a parent child relationship, like there's these special relationships, of course, in miracles would call it, but a holy relationship is where love can really thrive and be experienced, because it's love without condition. My whole life, I was under the impression that love is transactional, that I have to do something in order to be worthy of love, whether it's get good grades or clean my room or be a good spouse or whatever it looks like today, I have this concept of unconditional love that means without conditions, that it's accessible to me again, the feeling of safety, security, connection, all of those Things encapsulate the idea of love for me to experience, to experience everything that life has to offer. That means, experience heartbreak, experience grief, experience love, experience connection, experience everything that is the meaning of life. We come here to forget so that we can remember, because it's in the remembrance that that is, that's the bliss. Please remember.