Divine Encounters Episode 129 | Near-Death Experience Story
Sarah K. Grace grew up in a tiny South Dakota town with a gift she did not understand and a home she did not feel safe in. At 19, she says, an overdose led to a near-death experience in which a female voice told her she was not done. In this Divine Encounters episode she tells Alex Ferrari what she felt, why she chose to return, and how she then did the work to rebuild her life.
Key Takeaways
- Sarah says that at age seven she woke up able to see auric fields around people, and later disease in people’s bodies, and that this is when toxic shame formed.
- She describes a volatile and violent childhood, and says she became an overachiever and a runner to cope.
- Sarah says her mother’s death from cancer when she was 17 pulled out a linchpin, and she spiraled into alcohol, drugs and reckless behavior.
- At 19, she says, she had an overdose and a near-death experience: a floating love bubble, golden mandalas and a female voice who said, “we know it’s hard. You’re not done.”
- She says she was shown that if she went back, she would help a lot of people like her, and she chose to return.
- Back in her body, Sarah says she realized that nobody was coming to save her, and that she had to do the work herself.
- Her message: the most spiritual thing you can do is be real and authentic.
| Guest | Sarah K. Grace |
| Episode | Divine Encounters 129 |
| Age at the time | 19 |
| What Sarah says happened | An overdose led to a near-death experience |
| Where she says she went | A floating love bubble with fractals and golden mandalas |
| Who she met | A female voice, which she thinks could be a guide or her higher self |
| What she was told | We know it is hard; you are not done |
| The message | Do the work for yourself, and be real |
A Child Who Could See
Sarah was seven, growing up in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere in South Dakota, before the internet. Her family of origin, she says, was very volatile. She did not have the safety or the structure of a supportive family. She remembers riding around on her little banana seat bike.
One day she went to bed, and the next day she woke up and could see. It began with auric fields. Like the glow around a street lamp at night, she saw a glow around people, in different colors. Then she began to see disease in people’s bodies. She was a little kid, and she hoped it would go away.
She can still remember that moment, she says, “because that was the moment that toxic shame formed.” She deeply internalized that something was wrong with her, and she tried to shut it down and ignore it.
Wired Differently
Looking back, Sarah now understands this as sensory input coming into her nervous system because she is wired differently. There is nothing wrong with that, she says now, but she did not know it as a child, and she was scared. Our glossary pages on the aura and the empath describe how some people understand experiences like this.
In high school she became an overachiever. She ran 10 to 12 miles a day, and she thinks she was rhythmically going into a meditative state without knowing what she was doing. She just knew that if she did not move her body, she felt overwhelmed, and it was hard for her to be in her body.
She is candid about the context. She says she came from an extremely violent situation, with physical and psychological violence every day. On top of a high sense perception, she was trying to physically survive her day to day environment, so intensity became normal. Exercise and high achievement were her early answer.
If any of that feels close to home, you deserve support, and you do not have to carry it alone.
Losing Her Mother at 17
Sarah says her mother was both a primary teacher for her and a primary source of harm. She only wanted her love. Her mother was very unwell, mentally unwell, and the attacks tormented Sarah and set up her nervous system in ways she says she understands more fully now.
Her mother was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin cancer, and the time from diagnosis to death was about six months. She had a seizure at Sarah’s high school graduation party. She went down next to the cake, and that was the last time Sarah saw her conscious. Sarah was only 17.
She had been living with daily physical and psychological attacks, a high sense perception, and the feeling of being outcast. If she said anything, she thought, she would be thrown into a loony bin. There was no safety and no supportive structure. When her mother died, it felt as though a linchpin was pulled, and she spiraled.
Spiraling
Sarah says it began with alcohol, then drugs, promiscuity, reckless behavior and smoking. She was on her own train of destruction. Her thinking was: not into this world. What is the point of this, if I am being bombarded by all this stimulus and I have nobody?
She had gone up to college in that area, and was very lost and disconnected, with no sense of safety, structure or support, and no financial help. She was also still closeted. She says she hit a low point.
The Overdose and the Floating Love Bubble
That brought her to an overdose at age 19, and to her near-death experience. Sarah describes it as a heightened sense of perception, going into higher states of consciousness. She rose up out of her body and expanded, into what she calls a floating love bubble.
She felt very calm for the very first time. She felt very loved. “There was this nurturing energy that I had just never experienced before.” Her reaction was relief: oh, thank God, I am good, I am done, I do not want to go back there.
If you are struggling, you are not alone. In the US you can call or text 988 any time.
Then she heard a female voice, probably a guide, she says. Some people ask who it was, and she says it could have been a guide or her higher self. The voice said, “we know it’s hard. You’re not done.” Sarah was floating among fractals and golden mandalas, and everything was wonderful. Her answer was, no, no, I’m good, thanks though.
You can read more about how people describe this in our glossary entry on the near-death experience.
Shown a Reason to Return
The voice, she says, showed her through a visual that they understood it had been very hard. If she chose to go back, she was told, “you’re actually going to incorporate this and help a lot of people who are like you.”
Sarah explains how it felt. “When you’re in a heightened state of consciousness, everything makes sense simultaneously.” She could see, hear and feel everything at the same time, and it was not overwhelming. It just made sense. Oh yeah, of course, cool. She obviously chose to come back.
She adds a thought for other experiencers: she is not sure the voice was one particular being, and she is fine not knowing.
Slamming Back Into Reality
When she slammed back into her body, Sarah says, reality set in. You are back in duality, back in tangible reality. She had to crawl over to the phone and dial 911. It was her first ever experience with 911.
The paramedic who came, she says, she will never forget. She was a hot mess on the floor at 19, and he walked in with his stethoscope, buzz cut and little glasses, and she found him unkind. She remembers sitting on the gurney, thinking this was the worst moment of her life. And she remembers a promise to herself: if I am ever in a position like that, I am going to do it differently.
That moment mattered. It was her first experience with paramedics, and she later went into EMS herself.
Nobody Is Coming to Save You
In the evaluation that followed, Sarah says her intuition was strong. It told her to simply share that she was depressed and having a hard time, get out, go home and start the work. She realized nobody was coming to save her, and she was mad about it. She had survived everything she had come through, and she wanted someone to come help, do it for her. She had a chip on her shoulder and was angry at the world.
She says she told herself: “nobody’s coming to save you. You have to do this for yourself.” Because in heightened consciousness everything makes sense, she thought it would be easy. But “they don’t give you a trail map.” You still have to figure it out back here with normal sense perception.
She spent about two weeks stomping around being mad. I shouldn’t have to do this. I’m owed. She notes how often we see that in society now, with everyone outraged. Finally she told herself: you can be mad all you want, but you still have to do it for yourself. You are the person who got yourself here. What are you going to do about it?
Doing the Work, Two Parts at Once
The work was two parts, Sarah says. One was physically coming off alcohol and drugs, and she was a go big or go home kind of girl. The other was learning to live with her high sense perception. She hated the visuals and the knowing. She did not want to be this way. She says she had used drugs because they were the only thing that numbed her enough to take the edge off, and she knew it was not sustainable for health or life.
She wrote down a little program for herself. She started moving her body again, since she was a runner in high school. She says kicking alcohol was fairly easy for her, and getting off the heavier substances was hard, which she did by herself over several weeks. She knew that if she continued, she would die and stay dead. She cleaned herself up, stabilized significantly, and left the Midwest for Florida.
If you are in the middle of something like this, please reach out to someone you trust or a professional. Sarah’s path was her own, and yours may look different.
Be Real
Sarah ends with a reflection she clearly believes in. The more willing you are to be authentic, the better. “The most spiritual thing you can possibly do is be real, be authentic.” Accept yourself as human. She says the spiritual construct that you must be a certain way, always happy, flowing and etheric, is just a construct. “You’re not etheric if you get out of bed at two” in the morning and stub your toe. That is real.
“We have reactions, and we have contrasts,” she says. Our page on the signs of a spiritual awakening is a gentle place to start if you are exploring what your own sensitivity might mean, and our complete guide to near-death experiences offers wider context.
Questions to Sit With
- Sarah says toxic shame formed when she was seven and decided something was wrong with her. What did you decide about yourself when you were young, and is it still true?
- She says nobody was coming to save her and she had to do it for herself, and she was angry first. Where in your life are you waiting to be rescued?
- She says the most spiritual thing is to be real. Where could you be a little more real this week?
This week, choose one small honest thing you have been hiding, such as a feeling or a need, and share it with one safe person.
Spiritual Takeaways
- Sarah says that in a heightened state of consciousness, everything makes sense at once.
- She says the most spiritual thing you can do is be authentic.
- She says nobody is coming to save you, and healing is work you do for yourself.
- She describes sensitivity as being wired differently, not as something wrong.
- She describes being shown that her pain could help people like her.
Please enjoy my conversation with Sarah K. Grace.
Guest Links: Connect With Sarah K. Grace
- Sarah K. Grace’s official site
- Sarah K. Grace on Facebook
- Sarah K. Grace on Instagram
- Full conversation with Sarah K. Grace
Listen to the Episode
- Watch this episode ad-free on Next Level Soul TV
- Download the MP3
- More episodes: Divine Encounters
- Listen to Divine Encounters on Apple Podcasts
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Frequently Asked Questions
Who is Sarah K. Grace?
Sarah K. Grace is the guest on this Divine Encounters episode. She grew up in South Dakota and says she had a near-death experience at age 19. She later worked in EMS.
What did Sarah see as a child?
Sarah says that at age seven she woke up able to see auric fields around people, colors like the glow around a street lamp, and later she began to see disease in people’s bodies.
What happened to Sarah’s mother?
Sarah says her mother was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin cancer and died about six months later, when Sarah was 17. She had a seizure at Sarah’s high school graduation party.
What did Sarah experience during her near-death experience?
Sarah describes rising out of her body into a floating love bubble, with fractals and golden mandalas, feeling calm and loved for the first time.
Who spoke to Sarah?
Sarah says it was a female voice, probably a guide, though she says it could also have been her higher self. The voice told her it was hard and that she was not done.
Why did Sarah choose to come back?
Sarah says she was shown that if she went back, she would incorporate the experience and help a lot of people who are like her. She says she obviously chose to return.
What happened when Sarah returned?
Sarah says she slammed back into her body, crawled to the phone and dialed 911. She says she remembers the paramedic being unkind and promising herself she would do it differently.
What did Sarah mean by nobody is coming to save you?
Sarah says she was angry that no one would do the work for her, but realized she had to do it for herself. She says heightened consciousness makes things clear but gives you no trail map.
What helped Sarah rebuild her life?
Sarah says she wrote herself a program, returned to exercise, stopped using alcohol and drugs, stabilized, and moved to Florida. She says this was her own path.
What is Sarah’s main message?
Sarah says the most spiritual thing you can do is be real and authentic, and accept yourself as human, with reactions and contrasts.
Is this a medical claim?
No. Next Level Soul shares these stories as lived experiences in the guest’s own words. Nothing here is medical advice, and researchers continue to debate what such experiences mean.
Keep Exploring
- The complete guide to near-death experiences
- What a near-death experience is
- Empath in plain language
- Branden Densmore on an overdose and being shown the future
- Alysa Rushton on an overdose and returning with wisdom
- Dennis Bullock on meeting versions of himself after an overdose
- Betty Guadagno on addiction and meeting someone unexpected
- Allison Snowden on the spiritual purpose after a brutal assault
- Signs of a spiritual awakening
- Browse more free masterclasses and the Divine Encounters podcast.
Follow Along with the Transcript
Alex Ferrari 0:00
Tell me what your life was like before you died.
Sarah K. Grace 0:08
I was a kid, seven years old. I grew up in South Dakota, tiny town, middle of nowhere, pre-internet, and my nuclear family of origin was very volatile. And to put it mildly, so I didn't necessarily have the safety and the normal structure of a supportive family. And so I was a kid. I was riding around on my little banana seat bike, you know. And one day I went to bed, and the next day I woke up, and I could see it began with auric fields. So for me, it was like you know, you see a street lamp at nighttime, you see the glow around. So I started to kind of see that around people in different colors, and then I began to be able to see disease in people's body. I'm a little kid, man. So I was hoping it would go away, and so that moment at age seven, I can still remember to this day because that was the moment that toxic shame formed, and I was deeply internalizing that something was wrong with me, and then I really tried to shut it down, and I tried to ignore it. It's just challenging when you're just picking up on what I now understand is just sensory input, right? That's coming into my nervous system because I'm wired differently, and there's nothing wrong with that that I know now, but I didn't know that as a kid, and so I really was scared until I became got into EMS. Ultimately, got into EMS, and the energy started working through me, and I could not ignore it any longer. So what happened was, initially in high school, I became an overachiever, and so through exercise and high performance, I kind of stifled it a bit because I started running 10 miles a day, 20 miles, or not 2010, to 12 when I was a teenager in high school still, and I was rhythmically going into a meditative state. At the time, I didn't understand what I was doing. I just knew that if I didn't move my body, I just felt so overwhelmed, and I couldn't. It was really hard for me to be in my body. Now, combine that with the fact that I come from an extremely violent situation, like it was extreme violence, physical violence, psychological violence daily. And so, in addition to being having this high sense perception that I'm trying to physically survive my day-to-day environment, so intensity became very normal for me, and I took initially to overexercising and high achieving. And it was when my mom died; she was diagnosed with cancer, and her diagnosis to death was relatively quick. It was about six months. Now she was a primary teacher for me because she was a primary abuser for me, and I only wanted her love. She was very unwell, mentally unwell, and the physical and psychological attacks really tormented me and set my nervous system up for what I come to understand now how full circle everything is. I took to the 911 system well because I was raised in that environment. So when she died, though, that's really when it was like a linchpin within me because I was only 17. She went had a seizure, so she had non-Hodgkin cancer. She had a seizure at my high school graduation party. She went down next to my cake. I'll forever remember that. That burns in your head. She went down, and that was the last time I ever saw her conscious. And so here I'm from seven to 17, dealing with daily physical attacks, psychological attacks, and then having to do with this, deal with this high sense perception, not feeling understood, feeling outcast, feeling like danger. If I say anything, I'm going to get thrown into a loony bin, and so there was no safety, there was no supportive structure for me whatsoever, and so when she died, it was like a linchpin was pulled, and I just, I spiraled. And for me, it was alcohol, and then into drugs, and promiscuity, and reckless behavior, and smoking, and you know, I was just on my own train of destruction because I was like, screw this crap, like, not into this world. Like, what's the point of this if I'm being bombarded by all this stimulus and I don't have anybody? Nobody's here. No, you know. And so it.
Sarah K. Grace 4:09
Yeah, we went through all of that until I had my overdose in my near-death experience. So it for me, it was just the heightened sense of perception, right? Going into higher states of consciousness, and I went into kind of this floating love bubble. So I had risen up out of my body and expanded. I felt very calm for the very first time. I felt very loved, and there was this nurturing energy that I had just never experienced before. And I was like, "Oh, thank God! You know, I'm good. I'm done. I don't want to go back there. And then I heard a female voice, probably a guide. Some people ask, "Who was it? Could be a guide. Could be my higher self. And she was she was more articulate than I'm going to be. But she's like, "Yeah, we know it's hard. You're not done. And I was like, I was floating. You know, there's fractals. It's golden mandalas. Everything is just. Wonderful, and I hear this, and I'm like, no, no, I'm good, thanks though. And essentially, she showed me through visual. We understand it's been very hard. If you choose to go back, you're actually going to incorporate this and help a lot of people who are like you. And when you're in a heightened state of consciousness, everything makes sense simultaneously. So I'm able to see, hear, and feel everything at the same time, and it's not overwhelming, right? And it just makes sense. And I'm like, oh yeah, of course, cool. And I obviously chose to come back. And when I slammed back into my body, reality sets in, right? Because you're back into duality. You're back into the tangible reality, and I had to crawl over to the phone and dial 911, and that was my first ever experience with 911. And this guy comes, and I'll just never forget him as long as I live, because I'm just like this hot mess on the on the floor, right? I was like 19, and he walks in. He's got his little stethoscope buzz cut, his little glasses. He was just a dick. And I'll never. It was very pivotal for me, though. It was very important because this was my first experience with 911 paramedics, anything. And I remember sitting on that gurney, just feeling like, dude, this is the worst moment of my life. And and I remembered thinking, if I'm ever in a position like that, I'm going to do it differently. I was still closeted, and I was in-you know-I had gone up to college in that area, very lost, very disconnected, no sense of safety, structure, support, no financial help, nothing. And so I had spiraled and hit that that low point. And for me, I went in through the psych evaluation process, and I remember my intuition was very strong about don't you just you know tell them you're depressed and having a hard time, and then get out and go home, and then we'll start start the work. And so I realized that nobody was coming to save me, and man was I mad because coming through everything I came through, surviving everything that I had, I just wanted somebody to come, like you know, help me out, do it for me. And I had a chip on my shoulder, and I was I was angry. I was angry at the world. And when I had that realization, I said, nobody's coming to save you. You have to do this for yourself. Because when I'm in heightened consciousness, everything makes sense. So I'm thinking it's going to be easy. But no, they don't give you a trail map. You still have to do the work. You still have to figure it out when you're back here with normal sense perception, right? And so I just remember like getting real with myself, and I went through about two weeks of just stomping around, being all mad, like you know I shouldn't have to do this, like I I'm owed, you know. And we see this so much in our society, right? Like I'm outraged. Everybody's outraged about everything now, and it's like, well, everything, and it's like, well, that's your outrage. And so, but what I didn't, I didn't realize was it.
Sarah K. Grace 7:48
Well, it took me a couple of weeks, and I finally was like, you can be mad about this all you want to, but the reality is, you still got to do it for yourself. You're the person who's been engaging in these behaviors. You're the person who was doing the drugs, who was doing all the stuff, and you're the person who's gotten yourself to where you are now. So what are you going to do about it? And it was two part for me. One with having to deal with addiction and like hardcore drugs, pretty much everything, and then smoking three packs a day and drinking Everclear straight. Like I'm a go big or go home kind of girl. So I had to physically come off of all of that stuff, but then simultaneously I'm navigating and dealing with this. I hated the high sense perception. I hated the visuals. I hated the knowing. I didn't want to be this way, and so it was two part. I had been doing the drugs because it was the only thing that finally kind of numbed me enough. It took that edge off, right? But it's not conducive or sustainable for health and life, right? And so what I did is I just wrote down kind of like a a little program for myself, and I started. I got to just move my body again because back in high school I was a big runner, and and so I started exercising again, and then kicking alcohol was pretty easy for me. Kicking like the heavy drugs that was that was a thing, and I just like flushed them and did several weeks of hardcore withdrawals by myself. But I knew because I had just-I mean, you can't-if I-if I was to continue that, I would obviously die and stay dead, right? Like, there's nothing else for me there. I turned over Iraq. I had all of the experiences, and you take it where where it is. But ultimately, I cleaned myself up. I was able to stabilize significantly, and then I I left the Midwest and I went to Florida. The more willing you are to just one be authentic with who you are, be true. To me, the most spiritual thing you can possibly do is be real, be authentic. Can we get a high five? Amen to that. And just be you and accept yourself as human. And the spiritual construct of I need to be a certain way and always happy and flowing and etheric. And it's a construct. That's not the reality. You don't. You're not etheric if you get out of bed at two. In the morning to go pee, and you stub your toe. Like you know, that's real. We have reactions, and we have contrasts.
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