Divine Encounters Episode 021 | Near-Death Experience Story
Branden Densmore grew up angry, uncomfortable in his own skin, and dependent on painkillers he was first prescribed at 15. In this Divine Encounters episode he tells Alex Ferrari what he says happened when he overdosed and left his body: a presence, a stark voice, a desperate plea for another chance, and the long, honest road of recovery that followed.
Key Takeaways
- Branden says he was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness, studied philosophy, and carried anger and low self-esteem that built up quietly for years.
- At 21, after a serious fight, he says he experienced a total blackout and began asking what he was here for.
- He describes becoming dependent on opiate painkillers after being prescribed them at 15 for a chronic illness, and later turning to heroin.
- He says that when he overdosed he found himself outside his body, asking “what was the point of my life.”
- He recalls a presence and a stark voice telling him his life would be over and wasted, and says he begged for another chance.
- He describes a later experience in the shower in which a light descended and filled him with peace and love, despite everything he felt unworthy of.
- His message: inner fulfillment is possible, and the work of facing resentments and fears can lead to “a calm amidst the storm.”
| Guest | Branden Densmore |
| Episode | Divine Encounters 021 |
| Before | Angry, insecure, dependent on opiates from age 15 |
| What Branden says happened | He overdosed in his mother’s apartment and left his body |
| Where he says he went | Outside his body, looking down, then into a vision |
| Who he met | A presence he could not see, and a matter-of-fact voice |
| After | A week in hospital, a twelve-step program, and a transformative light |
| The message | Face the past, find your inner center, and help others |
Who Is Branden Densmore?
Branden says he was a really angry person. He had self-confidence and self-esteem issues, and he pretended to be happy while not being comfortable in his own skin. He was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness. He has always been interested in spirituality, he says, and he went to school for philosophy, studying teachings from around the world. Things would get under his skin and irritate him, and then he would explode.
He traces some of this to being sexually abused as a child, at eight years old. He says it was a chink in the armor, and it affected his self-esteem. He was also made fun of at school. Resentments built up under the surface over the years, often outside his conscious awareness.
Branden talks about this plainly, and we will not add detail. If any of this is close to home for you, please go gently.
A Blackout at 21
At 21, Branden was in a pretty bad fight and was kicked in the head several times by a man in steel-toed boots. The doctor told him afterward that with three more pounds of pressure behind the last kick, the boot would have gone into his brain and he would not be here.
He lost consciousness, and what he remembers is total nothingness. He says it is easy to call it nothing, but “how often do we really experience nothing?” It was the absence of anything. A complete blackout.
After that, he started questioning his reality and his identity. What was he here for? He discovered a love of learning. He had dropped out in ninth grade, because he hated school, the teachers and the students. But now he found that he actually liked learning things. He read book after book, and listened to cassette after cassette and CD after CD of self-development, psychology and spirituality. He went on a binge, he says, and loved it.
Chronic Pain and a Dependence on Painkillers
Branden says he was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease and a form of spinal arthritis at 14. He describes Crohn’s as an inflammatory disease of the bowel, with arthritis throughout his body. He was prescribed opiate painkillers at 15, and he became dependent.
He describes a miserable pattern. He would take too much of the medicine before the prescription could be refilled, go into withdrawal, and have to wait. After a back surgery that increased his pain, he ran out of medication and got heroin. It felt good, he says, and it took away his pain.
But pain was not the only reason he used more than prescribed. He describes the emotional turmoil that was always in the background. The drug numbed those dark feelings and replaced them with ease. It let him think straight and concentrate on homework without wondering if someone thought he was an idiot. As he puts it, it quieted the noise. We include this to be honest about where he was, not to describe anything further.
The Night He Overdosed
Branden was in his mother’s apartment, anxious and in withdrawal, waiting for the person who would bring him more. It had already been days. When the person arrived, he used. Finally, he says, the nightmare was over, and he could relax.
Then he realized he was dying. He was suddenly outside his body, looking down at himself. His first question was: “what was the point of my life?”
He became aware of a presence in the room. He did not see a person or a spirit. He was given a vision of himself dead. It was a hard image, and he says so, and we will not describe it further.
Then everything changed again, and he was standing back in the apartment. He heard a voice, a very matter-of-fact one, not booming and not a whisper. It said: “now your life is over and you wasted it that way.” It was like a kick in the stomach, he says. He panicked. This cannot be happening. He begged: let me live, please. He says he said, “I will do anything to make this not happen.” He did not want his mother to go through that pain.
He begged and begged. Then, bam, he was back in his body, gasping for breath.
If you are struggling, you are not alone. In the US you can call or text 988 any time.
A Week in Hospital and a Long Way Back
Branden was in the hospital for seven days. He had to learn how to tie his shoelaces again. That is how bad it was, he says. He could not think and could not move. He calls it hell, pain and emotional turmoil.
There were no spiritual experiences during that time, he says. He did not know how to deal with his emotions. He had to work out how to reprogram his mind and create another reality from scratch.
He went into a twelve-step program, Alcoholics Anonymous, even though he says he was not really an alcoholic. It helped tremendously. He gave it everything, 100 percent, because he knew he would not make it without a solution. And that, he says, gave him the fuel to push through: “I can’t let this thing take me down.”
The Light in the Shower
A little while after working the steps, Branden says he had a profound spiritual experience that was completely transformative. It confirmed, he says, that he was on the right path and was not crazy. He was having a hard time and praying a lot. He was in the shower when he felt a light descending through the ceiling.
He asked what was going on. Then, he says, “the light just penetrated me and pierced every aspect of my being.” His mind raced with old thoughts: I am not worthy of this. This being is too powerful. Why is it here? Why me? The light went through those thoughts as if they were nothing, he says. It went into his body.
He felt a profound peace. And “a profound love and an appreciation for who I was,” despite all the things he had done wrong. To this being, he says, those things did not even matter.
He says that helped him a lot. For a gentle introduction to the idea of times of deep struggle that lead to change, see our hub on the dark night of the soul.
Then and Now
Branden is honest about who he was at the time of his overdose. He had no money in the bank. He lived in a crappy little apartment. He had false friends, no vehicle, and was full of fear, negativity and self-doubt. He says he was a piece of work, not someone you would want your daughter with. But he also had a good side, a loving, compassionate side. He would give you the shirt off his back, though he gave too much and people took advantage.
Today, he says, he is comfortable. He bought a new car and a house. He married the love of his life, and they have a son, Daniel, who was five months old when this episode was recorded. He says he is experiencing fulfillment. He did not have that before. He was always trying to get it and could not.
He shares this, he says, to give people more hope.
Facing Resentments, and a New Way to See the Past
Branden says that after the near-death experience, he knew what it was, but he did not research it much. He delved into the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous, started going to meetings and started volunteering in the community. It was not easy to deal with resentments, face fears and self-esteem issues, and become “my own best friend instead of my own worst enemy.”
In his fourth step, you write out where your resentments and fears are. The first one on his list was being abused as a child. His sponsor reviewed the list with him. He was kind about it, saying it was terrible and should never happen to anyone. Then the sponsor asked Branden whether he had ever wondered about what the person who harmed him may have lived through himself.
Branden says he had never considered it. In 25 years, he says, “I never considered his feelings in 25 years.” He had only thought of himself as the victim, which he says is normal. But he did not want to feel that way anymore, or to be that angry at someone. Asking that question helped him begin to let it go. This is his experience, and nobody has to forgive on anyone else’s timeline. The glossary entry on shadow work describes one way people approach this kind of inner work.
His Message: Find a Calm Amidst the Storm
Branden defines a good life as finding inner fulfillment and inner peace, “a calm amidst the storm.” He says that is what he strives for, and what he wants to help others find: an inner center where you cannot be tossed around, and something you really love doing.
His story is a reminder that people can change, and that the work is often slow, practical and ordinary. For more on how others describe their experiences, see our complete guide to near-death experiences.
How Branden’s Story Sits Beside Other Reports
Near-death accounts are not always peaceful. Some people describe distressing moments, a stark message, or a sense of being shown how they have lived. Many say this became a turning point. Branden’s account follows that pattern: a hard message, a plea, a return, and a long effort of change. We share these as personal accounts in the guest’s own words, and we make no medical claims.
Questions to Sit With
- Branden says the noise in his head was loud before he found a way to quiet it. What helps you quiet yours, and does it leave you better off afterward?
- He found it helpful to wonder what another person had been through. Is there someone you could try to see more gently, without excusing what happened?
- What would a calm amidst the storm look like in your own life?
Write down one resentment you are carrying, and then one honest sentence about what you need. If it feels heavy, share it with a trusted person or counselor.
Spiritual Takeaways
- Branden says he knew he had been given another chance, and he used it.
- He describes a light that filled him with peace and love despite his sense of unworthiness.
- He says healing from the past is possible, one honest step at a time.
- He says becoming your own best friend is part of the work.
- He says a good life is found in inner fulfillment and a calm center.
Please enjoy my conversation with Branden Densmore.
Guest Links: Connect With Branden Densmore
Listen to the Episode
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Frequently Asked Questions
Who is Branden Densmore?
Branden Densmore is a near-death experiencer who says he was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness, studied philosophy, struggled with anger and opiate dependence, and found recovery through a twelve-step program.
What happened to Branden when he overdosed?
He says he realized he was dying, found himself outside his body looking down, felt a presence, and was given a vision of himself dead. He says he begged for another chance and was then back in his body, gasping.
What did the voice say?
Branden says a matter-of-fact voice told him his life was over and that he had wasted it that way. He says it was like a kick in the stomach.
Did Branden have a life review?
He does not describe a life review. He describes a presence, a vision and a voice, and then a plea to return.
What was the light in the shower?
Branden says that while praying in the shower after starting recovery, a light descended through the ceiling and filled every part of him with profound peace and love, despite thoughts of being unworthy.
How did Branden recover?
He credits a twelve-step program and his own full effort. He also volunteered in the community and worked through resentments with a sponsor.
How is Branden’s life today?
He says he has a house, a car, a marriage to the love of his life and a young son named Daniel, and that he feels a sense of fulfillment he did not have before.
What did Branden learn about forgiveness?
He says that considering what the person who harmed him may have lived through helped him begin to release a resentment he carried for 25 years. This is his personal experience.
What should I do if I am struggling?
If you are struggling, you are not alone. In the US you can call or text 988 any time.
Is a near-death experience proof of an afterlife?
Next Level Soul shares near-death experiences as personal accounts in the person’s own words. Researchers continue to study and debate what they mean. Nothing here is medical advice or a medical claim.
Keep Exploring
- The complete guide to near-death experiences
- What shadow work means, in plain language
- Understanding the dark night of the soul
- Dennis Bullock on an overdose and meeting versions of himself
- Alysa Rushton on an overdose that led to ancient wisdom
- Betty Guadagno, an angry addict stunned by who she met
- Hal Elrod on the mindset that helped him survive
- Allison Snowden on finding purpose after a brutal assault
- Browse more free masterclasses and the Divine Encounters podcast.
Follow Along with the Transcript
Alex Ferrari 0:00
Tell me what your life was like before you died.
Branden Densmore 0:03
I was really angry person, self confidence issues, self esteem issues. I wasn't happy. I pretended, pretended to be happy, but I really wasn't, deep down, not comfortable in my own skin. You know, I had ups and downs, like everybody, but those things really kind of consumed me at a behind the scenes kind of level that was raised as a Jehovah's Witness. So, and I've always been interested in spirituality. I went to school for philosophy, so I studied different philosophies from around the world, and just always been fascinated by different spiritual teachings and things like that. Just always been a kind of a curious person. Just things would get under my skin and irritate me, and then I would just explode. But I mean, just in general, I was just kind of had a lot of angry feelings. So I think it started back when I was sexually molested when I was eight years old, so that kind of like was a chink in the armor. It affected my self esteem, and I was made fun of when I was a kid in school. But it's just that I had resentments to people and all of that stuff over the years just kind of built up under the surface, not even necessarily in my conscious awareness. So when I was 21 I was in a pretty bad fight and was kicked in the head multiple times by a guy with steel toed boots. And I went to the doctor after the experience, and he said that if he had put three more pounds of pressure behind the last kick, that his boot would have gone into my brain so and I wouldn't have been here anymore. So when that happened, I lost consciousness, and it was just total nothingness, just a complete blackout. It's hard to explain. It's easy to say it was nothing, but how often do we really experience nothing? It was just the absence of anything, total blackout. After that, I started questioning my reality and my identity and what am I here for? So I discovered that I had a love of learning, and at that point, I started this educational journey. So I dropped out in ninth grade, by the way, because I hated school and I hated the teachers, I hated the students, and I wanted nothing to do with the institution, so I left in the ninth grade and went to work, and then from there, I discovered, wow, like I actually like to learn things. I was reading book after book, listening to cassette after cassette and CD after CD, of different self development, psychology, spirituality and kind of went on a binge and discovered that I loved it. So I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease and sacroiliac spondylitis when I was 14. And Crohn's disease, for those of you don't know, it's like this inflammatory disease of the bowel, and then the arthritis was like throughout my entire body. So I was prescribed opiate painkillers at age 15, and then ended up getting really dependent, and then I would take too much of the drug and then have to find more. Not to say that it was easy, because I was in this pattern of taking too much of the medicine before my prescription would fill, and then I'd go into withdrawals, and I'd have to wait to get more from somebody or for my prescription to fill. It was just a miserable existence at Vassar. I had a back surgery, and then that increased my pain level. I ran out of my medication and got some heroin. So I was like, Okay, I'm gonna try this heroin, and it felt good, and it took away my pain. But another reason I was using more than I was prescribed is because of the emotional turmoil that I was in all the time, always in the background, I was in the pattern of taking this drug, and the drug would numb the emotion, and it would, it would replace that those negative feelings, or dark feelings, or whatever you want to call them. It would replace those with feelings of ease and feeling like I can, I can think straight, I can concentrate on my homework without wondering, um, Gee, I wonder if that person thinks I'm an idiot. It quieted the noise I was in my mother's apartment at the time. I was just full of anxiety because I was going through withdrawals. I'm just waiting for the guy to show up. Is he ever gonna get here? Got checking with the clock like it already been days that I'd been in withdrawals and I was just miserable. Finally, the guy shows up, brings me the heroin, and I did it. And finally, the nightmare is over, and I'm feeling oh, I can just relax, and I can think straight, and I don't have to be into this, this inner turmoil. Finally, it's over, and I can just relax, and it felt good. Next thing I know, I realized I was dying, and all of a sudden, I'm outside of my body and I'm. Looking down at myself, and I'm wondering, like, what was the point of my life? That was the first question. Yeah, and then it became aware of a presence in the room, and I didn't see anything. I didn't see like a person standing there, or some kind of a spirit or anything. I just became aware of a presence I was given, like a vision, and there I was dead, a corpse discolored with pus running out of my mouth. So then next thing I know, everything changes again. I'm back in the in the apartment, standing there, and I hear a voice, and it was just a very matter of fact voice, and it wasn't like a booming, like God voice, it wasn't a whisper. It was just a very matter of fact voice that said, now your life is over and you wasted it that way. It was, it was like a kick in the stomach, and I started to panic. I'm like, what? Like, this can't happen. This cannot be happening. Please, let me live. Please, please. I will do anything. I will do anything to make this not happen. I didn't want to have my mother go through that pain. But anyways, I just begged and begged, and next thing I know, bam, I'm back in my body gasping for breath. I went to the hospital for seven days and had to learn how to tie my shoelaces again. That's how bad it was. I couldn't think, I couldn't move. It was just terrible. It was just hell, pain, emotional turmoil, trying to just even learn how to tie my shoelaces again. There were no, like, real spiritual type experiences during that process, and I didn't know how to deal with my emotions. And I had to, like, figure out how to deal with my emotions, how to reprogram my mind, and how to create another reality from scratch. So I went through a step program, Alcoholics Anonymous, which I wasn't even really an alcoholic. It helped tremendously. I went through the steps, and I gave it my all, like I put 100% in because I knew that I wasn't gonna make it if I didn't find a solution, and I needed a solution, I did the steps, and a little while after that, I actually had a profound spiritual experience that was, like, completely transformative, and really confirmed that I was on the right path and that I wasn't crazy. I have help, and they're they're helping me, and I'll just tell you what happened. I was having a hard time and was praying a lot. I was in my shower, and all of a sudden felt a light like descending through the ceiling, and it came down, and it just, I was like, What is going on? And then the light just penetrated me and pierced every aspect of my being, like I was thinking of all these things from my past, like I'm not worthy of this, like this being is just too powerful. Why is it here? And why me? And the light just went through all of those thoughts like they were nothing, and it went into my body, and it just pierced every aspect of me, and I felt this profound peace and a profound love and an appreciation for who I was, despite all the things that I had done wrong, it's like those things didn't even matter to this entity. So that helped me a lot. And when I had that near death experience, I had no money in the bank. I was living in a crappy little apartment, more than broke like less than broke. False friends, no vehicle, full of fear, negativity, self doubt, limiting, thinking. I was a piece of work, not somebody you're you would want your daughter with. Put it that way, but, you know, I had a good side. I had a loving side. You know, I was a compassionate person. I'd give you the shirt off my back. I gave too much. People took advantage of me. So, I mean, I that's where I went and where I am now. Is that here I am speaking to you on next level, Next Level soul, and I'm comfortable. I knew it was a near death experience, but I afterwards, I didn't really research it much. I delved into the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous, and I started going to meetings, and I started volunteering in the community. And then, you know, I want to just follow up to give people more hope is that, you know, here I am on next level soul, and I'm confident, but I bought a new car, I bought a house, I married the love of my life, and I have a son, Daniel, who's five months old, and I am experiencing fulfillment in life. So what happened back then? I wasn't, didn't have that. I didn't have that sense of fulfillment. It was I was always trying to get it, but I couldn't get it. I couldn't find it. So dealing with the past and dealing with the future and the feelings about those effectively, methodically, with concentration and like, I'm not going to. I can't let this thing take me down. I've got to find a solution, because I don't want my mother to find my dead body that gave me the fuel I needed or the drive to push through the difficulty. It wasn't easy, dealing with the resentments, facing the fears and the self esteem issues, becoming my own best friend instead of my own worst enemy. I was in my fourth step in Alcoholics Anonymous, and it's the step where you basically you figure out, like, where all of your resentments are, where all your fears are, and you write it out. So the first one on my list was being sexually molested. So I got myself a sponsor in Alcoholics Anonymous, and they review that list that you create with you, and they show you how to deal with the resentments. I had no idea how this was going to go, so I went in and met with my sponsor and did that first one. And I'm like, you know, I'm resentful at this babysitter who sexually molested me when I was eight, and he said, Okay, I'm really sorry that that happened to you. That is terrible and should never happen to anyone. But let me ask you a question. Have you ever wondered if he had been sexually molested the person who molested you? I said, No, I never considered that. He said, well, a lot of people who sexually molest other people have been molested themselves. I said, Hmm, I never really considered that. So he said, If he had been sexually molested himself, would that make his action more understandable? I said, I guess, because it would make sense that, I mean, if you had been sexually molested, maybe you would molest somebody else, like that would be maybe a cause, right? So, I mean, the point is, is that I never considered his feelings in 25 years. I just hated this person, and never took a step back outside of myself to to wonder, Well, what did this? What was this person going through, that they did that to me? In other words, I was just thinking of myself as a victim the pain that I went through and I had this happen to me. That's it's normal, but I don't want to feel that way anymore. I don't want to be angry at someone at that level. So how am I going to get over this thing? Definition of living a good life is finding inner fulfillment, like inner peace, a place like find getting to the point, and finding a place, a calm amidst the storm, and getting to that to that core, would be what I'm striving for, and helping others do the same, finding that that inner Center, where you can't be tossed around, and finding something that you really love doing.
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