Divine Encounters Episode 036 | Near-Death Experience Story
Bill Tortorella grew up in Brooklyn, the son of a bar and grill owner across from Ebbets Field, and later worked as a paramedic before becoming a traveling jewelry merchant. In 1994, at a huge gem and mineral show in Tucson, Arizona, he says he fell ill, went to sleep in his hotel room and left his body through his eyes in a glowing green mist. He tells Alex Ferrari what he says followed: a tunnel of colors, a love like being cradled, a guide named Antonia and the voice of his brother Peter. In this Divine Encounters episode he explores that arrival, which he calls coming home.
Key Takeaways
- Bill says he was born in Brooklyn in 1952, and that his brother Peter, much older, acted as a stand-in for their often-absent father.
- He says Peter died of cancer at 30, when Bill was 15, and that the loss was devastating.
- He says he worked as a paramedic for eight or nine years, then became a merchant selling jewelry and watches at trade shows around the world.
- He says that at a show in Tucson in 1994 he fell ill, was treated at a clinic and went back to his hotel, where he says “that night turned into a night of light and love.”
- He says he left his body “through my eyes” in a glowing green mist that he describes as “the color of life itself.”
- He says a beam of light turned him toward a gateway and a tunnel, and that the love he felt grew stronger and stronger as he moved.
- He says a guide named Antonia told him, “I’m one of your guides. You have three guides,” and that his brother Peter then called him Billy.
| Guest | Bill Tortorella |
| Episode | Divine Encounters 036 |
| Background | Born in Brooklyn in 1952; former paramedic and commercial artist; jewelry and watch merchant |
| When and where it happened | A night in 1994, in a hotel room during a trade show in Tucson, Arizona |
| What Bill says happened | He fell ill with a virus or bacterial illness no one could identify, rested at his hotel, and left his body in his sleep |
| Where he says he went | A green mist, a tunnel of colors, and a bright, illuminated home |
| Who he met | A guide named Antonia, family and friends, and his brother Peter |
| The message | You are home in the light of God |
Growing Up Across From Ebbets Field
Bill was born in Brooklyn, New York, in 1952, and he tells Alex he had an awesome life growing up. His mother owned a bar and grill across the street from Ebbets Field, where the Brooklyn Dodgers played. She took him to games, and he remembers being at the pennant games at about five years old. It amazes him that he can still see it right now. The Dodgers used to come into the bar, so his mother got to meet them all, including Gil Hodges and Sandy Koufax.
He also says he was a very spiritual child. His father was away a lot. His brother Peter, who was much older, filled that gap. Peter took him to Little League practices and to the circus when it came to town. Bill was Roman Catholic by birth and upbringing.
Losing Peter
Peter was 30 years old when he died. Bill was 15. Bill says it was cancer that came on quickly. After Peter went into the hospital, the family was told three days later that he had three or four months to live. It was heartbreaking, Bill says. He remembers praying and praying. You talk about getting close to God, he says, and that was what it did.
He was devastated because Peter was his stand-in for his dad. They were so close. He says the passing was very hard and the pain Peter went through was unbearable in those days, when they did not have the kinds of medicines they have today. Bill keeps this part short, but it is the thread that makes the rest of his story land: a boy who lost his brother, and a man who says he heard his voice again.
Miami, Medicine and the Road
In 1973 Bill moved from New York to Miami with his wife. He was already a commercial artist, working for a company called Triad Studios that did work for Benton and Bowles in New York, doing ads, and he had about a year of experience. They had honeymooned in the Bahamas and decided to move to Florida. There was no internet then, so they did not know much about the place. He was picturing a big city, but the city of Miami in the early 1970s was small.
He found he could not get a job very easily. His wife did. So he became a paramedic. After eight or nine years, in 1981, he became a merchant, selling jewelry and watches and doing trade shows across the country. He traveled the world. He calls it a prophecy that came true.
Tucson, 1994: The Biggest Show in the World
By 1994 Bill had been doing the Tucson Gem and Mineral Show for about five years. He describes it as the biggest gem and mineral show in the world, with the convention center full and every major hotel ballroom in the city filled with vendors. He sold sterling silver and watches. It was February, cold and flu season. He says a terrible virus was going around. On the third day, a woman in a booth across from him collapsed.
His old paramedic skills kicked in. He ran over to make her comfortable, checked her airway and breathing, and waited for the paramedics. On the fourth morning, he woke with a throat that felt swollen shut. He could barely breathe, and the pain, he says, was excruciating, all through his body, like a really bad flu.
The people working for him took one look and told him to see a doctor. He is thankful for that, because they kept the booth open. He went to the hospital, found the emergency room packed, and was asked to go to a clinic with a small group. There they put him on a gurney and connected an IV. He was dehydrated, and his oxygen levels were bad. He says he was there a long time, with two or three bags of fluid, and that they added antibiotics to the line. Nobody could identify what he had. It came on too quickly.
Back at the Hotel
After several hours his oxygen came up and he could breathe a little better. They gave him an inhaler and a bottle of pills and told him to go back to the hotel and rest. He did. He started the pills about six hours later. It was evening by then. He was still having trouble breathing but finally fell asleep.
That night, Bill tells Alex, “turned into a night of light and love.” He says it was one of the most profound near-death experiences he knows of. He remembers exactly how he left his body. We share his account as he tells it, and make no medical claims.
Leaving Through His Eyes, in a Green Mist
Bill says he left his body “through my eyes.” He saw himself leaving in a glowing, fluorescent green mist. It was magnificent, he says. He calls it “the color of life itself.” He says it was like taking a neon light and magnifying it a hundred or a thousand times. It was so brilliant, and he was part of it.
He hovered over his body, looking down at it for a while. Then he recognized that the body had no life in it anymore. As soon as he thought that, a beam of light came from behind and came right onto him. It turned him instantly. A gateway opened in front of him. He was pulled right into it, and he had no control. “It had full control over me,” he says.
The Tunnel of Colors and a Love Like Being Cradled
He found himself in a tunnel made of beautiful, magnificent colors. He moved faster and faster. As he moved, he felt love and embrace like he had never felt in his life. It was a completely different kind of love, he says, and it kept getting stronger and stronger.
He felt cradled, as if he were a child or an infant. “I was being protected, I know that,” he says, and taken care of on his way home. He will never forget his arrival.
Arrival: “I’m Finally Home”
He calls the place heaven because it is home, he says, to him and, he believes, to most people. He was in a beautiful, illuminated place with spirits all around him. He felt in his mind, and he says in his heart, even though he had no body, that “they were family and friends.” He kept saying to himself: “Thank God I’m home.” He recognized it as home, the place he came from and would someday return to.
Then he heard a whisper in his ear. “Bill, yes, you’re home. You’re home in the light of God.” It was the first time he heard another voice, and the first time he began communicating. For more on how people describe this place, see our glossary entry on heaven.
Telepathy and a Guide Named Antonia
The communication was unbelievable, Bill says. Everything was telepathy. You feel and hear exactly what people say to you, and you speak back. He says it is wonderful, because “your mind opens up and expands on the other side.” On Earth, he believes, we use only a small part of our capability. On the other side, he believes, we are beautiful light beams and use all of our mind and senses. Read about telepathy in our glossary.
A gorgeous angel, his guide, spoke to him. “I’m one of your guides. You have three guides.” Her name was Antonia, and she said she was the one who came to get him and bring him home. He had not realized she was with him in the tunnel. She told him she was with him all the way. We cover how people describe such helpers in our glossary entry on spirit guides.
His Brother Peter’s Voice
Antonia then told him he had two other guardians. Bill heard a voice, and it was his brother Peter’s. He knew it immediately, because he grew up with that voice. Peter stood in front of him in the beautiful light and said, Billy.
When he said Billy, Bill says, it was like his whole being melted into his brother’s. He felt tears come down his eyes, though he had no body anymore. The feeling, he says, was magnificent.
Peter told him it was time for his life review. Bill says he did not even know what a life review was at that point. He was perfectly fine where he was. He felt like part of the light. They whisked off to another plane, and it felt like they were showing him “all the good I’ve ever done in my lifetime.”
Where His Story Fits
Bill’s account touches many common themes: leaving the body, a beam of light, a tunnel, an overwhelming love, a sense of home, a reunion with a loved one who died, and the beginning of a life review. It also has a distinctive feature, the green mist, which he describes as the color of life itself. As he describes it, this was a night of light and love.
If you are new to the subject, our complete guide to near-death experiences is a good place to begin, and our glossary has a short entry on the life review.
Questions to Sit With
- Bill lost his brother Peter at 15, and says he heard his voice again many years later. Who would you most want to hear from?
- He says he felt love as if he were being cradled. When have you felt that kind of care?
- He says his life review began with the good he had done. What good have you done lately that you have not given yourself credit for?
Write down three small good things you have done this month. Read them aloud to yourself, then thank yourself for each.
Spiritual Takeaways
- Bill says home is a place of light and love, and we come from it.
- He says he was cradled and protected on the way.
- He says everything on the other side is telepathy, and the mind opens and expands.
- He says we each have guides, and that his brother was waiting.
- He says his life review began with the good he had done.
Please enjoy my conversation with Bill Tortorella.
Guest Links: Connect With Bill Tortorella
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Frequently Asked Questions
Who is Bill Tortorella?
Bill Tortorella is a near-death experiencer who was born in Brooklyn in 1952. He worked as a commercial artist and a paramedic, and later as a jewelry and watch merchant. He shares his story in this Divine Encounters episode.
What happened to Bill Tortorella in 1994?
He says that during a trade show in Tucson, Arizona, he fell ill with an illness no one could identify. He says he went back to his hotel, fell asleep and left his body.
How did Bill say he left his body?
He says he left through his eyes, in a glowing, fluorescent green mist that he calls the color of life itself.
What did Bill see in the tunnel?
He says it was made of beautiful, magnificent colors. He says he moved faster and faster as the love he felt grew stronger, like being cradled.
What was the whisper Bill heard?
He says it said, “Bill, yes, you’re home. You’re home in the light of God.” It was the first voice he heard there.
Who is Antonia?
Bill says Antonia is a gorgeous angel and one of his three guides. He says she was the one who came to bring him home.
Who was Peter?
Peter was Bill’s much older brother, who he says took him to Little League and the circus. He says Peter died of cancer at 30, when Bill was 15, and that he heard Peter’s voice calling him Billy.
How did communication work?
Bill says everything was telepathy. He says you feel and hear exactly what is said, and speak back, and that the mind opens and expands.
What happened when Peter appeared?
Bill says it felt like his whole being melted into Peter’s. He says Peter told him it was time for his life review.
Is a near-death experience proof of an afterlife?
Next Level Soul shares near-death experiences as lived experiences told in the guest’s own words. Researchers continue to study and debate what they mean. Nothing here is medical advice or a medical claim.
Keep Exploring
- The complete guide to near-death experiences
- What spirit guides are, in plain language
- A short explanation of telepathy
- John J. Davis on a spirit guide named Alan and a tour of heaven
- Susan Dyer on meeting her spirit guides
- Margot McKinnon on meeting her deceased mother
- Curtis Childs on what happens right after you die
- Brian Hoyland on a love that never ran out
- Browse more free masterclasses and the Divine Encounters podcast.
Follow Along with the Transcript
Alex Ferrari 0:00
Tell me what your life was like before you died.
Bill Tortorella 0:09
I originally, I was born in Brooklyn, New York, in 1952 grow up. Growing up, I had an awesome life. My mom owned a bar and grill across the street from Ebbets Field, where the Brooklyn Dodgers used to play. And she used to take me to games and game day. Because even when I was very young, I was about five, probably about five years old, I remember being at the pennant games and everything. It's amazing how you have these memories flashbacks. I could see it right now. And it was also amazing that all the Dodgers used to come into the bar. So my mother got to meet all of them, Gil Hodges, Sandy Koufax, all these great for the past. So it was quite an interesting life. Growing up in Brooklyn, I was believed to be very spiritual. I mean, see, my dad was away a lot, and my brother Peter and I were very close. He was a lot older than me. He actually was the one that, you know, he took me to all the ball game my practices for Little League, you know, he took me to the circus when it came into town. He was 30 years old when he passed away. I was 15, and he passed away of this cancer that came on him so quickly, and all of a sudden, after he went into the hospital, they told us three days later that he has three or four months to live. And it was, it was heartbreaking. I mean, it was heartbreaking. You talk about getting close to God, then I remember, oh my gosh, praying and praying, I'm I'm Christian. So I was born and raised, you know, Roman Catholic. I was devastated, because, don't forget, like I said, he was the stand in for my dad most of the time when my dad was out of town, and we were so so so close, the passing was so hard, and the pain he went through was unbearable in those days, you know, they didn't have the kind of medicines they have today and everything. So he went through a horrible, horrible, horrible death. Now, in 1973 I moved down to Miami from New York, and I was already now a commercial artist, working for a company called triad studios that used to do work for Benton and bowls in New York. I became a commercial artist, and I was doing the ads for a Cover Girl, you know, young man on the board, you know, with just about a year experience, and my wife and I decided, well, we're going to move to, we're going to move down to Florida, because we had a, we had our, you know, honeymoon down in the Bahamas. And when I got down there, you know, being young at the time and not knowing about, you know, we didn't have internet like we have today. We have no, no computers, no anything to do investigation. I'm just thinking that Miami is a big city, and I come to find out when we got to Miami, beautiful place. Miami Beach is all built up, but the city of Miami in 1970s early 70s, was very small. So what happened is, real quick, I found out I couldn't get a job very easily. Thank God my wife did, but I wound up becoming a paramedic. So in 1981 now, after being a paramedic for about eight or nine years I I wound up becoming a merchant, and that's how I wound up getting into my own business, and I sold jewelry and watches, and I did trade shows all over the country, and I traveled the world. So this was nine years later. It was like a prophecy that come true, just it just happened. But we're in Tucson, Arizona. Now I'll give you this story, Tucson, Arizona. It's 1994 now, I've done this show already, Alex, I've done this show for probably five years so far. It's the biggest gem and mineral show in the world. And people that sell jewelry, though they're also like I was I show I sold sterling silver and watches. And every year, in February, you know, that's a cold and flu season. So you picture this, we're at the biggest show in the world. You know how convention centers are when they have shows, the rooms are completely filled. Well, not only the convention center was filled all the major hotel rooms and hotel ballrooms in the city. Every hotel ballroom was filled with vendors, but there was terrible virus going on. And the third day, you know, people are coughing since I was there. And the third day, the lady across from us in another booth, she just collapses and falls to the ground. And then my old paramedic skills kicked in, so I ran over and I was, you know, trying to make her comfortable. I didn't know what what was wrong with her. I just want to make sure her airway was good and she was breathing properly, until the paramedics came, you know. So the paramedics came and picked her up. So I was fine up until that day. It was the fourth day in the morning when I woke up. My throat, Alex was so sweat. Colon. I could barely breathe, and pain. The pain was excruciating. Now, pains throughout my whole body. It was terrible. It was like having a really bad bed flu type of thing. So I go in to the show and my people I have working for me. Take one look at me and said, Bill, you got to get yourself to a doctor or the hospital or something. So I said, I think you're, you're right, you know, so thank God I had them to work there, because they kept the show working and open. And I went to the hospital. And the hospital was so busy, the emergency room out, it was like packed. So evidently, a lot of people are coming down with this. And they asked us, if we, you know, go to different, you know, medical setups in clinics around town, in medical clinics. And I went with a small group to this specific clinic in Tucson there, and they took a look at me and just put me on a gurney and put me, pulled me right, and they hooked me up with IV solution. So I was low on everything they said. They said I was dehydrated. My oxygen levels was completely they were horrible. They said they were bad, so they had to bring my oxygen up. And I was there a long time because they put me on at least, I remember two or three bags of IV, and during the time they had me on the IV solutions, they was injecting antibiotics into this in the solution bag, you know, the terminal part there. They didn't know what it is like, I said, so it might have been bacterial. At the time, they couldn't identify it. It was too quick. It came on too quick. And none of the hospital people even knew what kind of virus was, or bacterial. After several hours, my my oxygen levels came up. I could breathe a little better because they had me on the oxygen so I felt a little better myself. And they gave me, they gave me some an inhaler, and then they gave me a bottle of pills. And they said, Well, go back to the you know, go back to your hotel where you're staying and just rest up. And that's exactly what I did. I went back to the hotel, and I rested, and I took started. They told me to start taking the pills about six hours because I had antibiotics in me already about six hours later, and now it's in the evening. I popped the pill. I could barely breathe, but so I'm I'm laying down, I'm having trouble breathing and but I finally fell off asleep, and Alex that night turned into a night of light and love. It was magnificent. What happened? This is one of the most profoundly of death experiences. I know you've probably heard a lot in your time, but I remember exactly, exactly how I left my body. I left my body through my eyes, and it was magnificent, because I left my body. I seen myself leaving my body in this beautiful, glowing, fluorescent green mist. It was It was magnificent. It was like the color of life itself.
That's all I could explain it as. But the glowing green mist was magnified to a point where I can't even explain here, I would say, if you took a neon light and magnified that 100 times or 1000 times, even, that would be the color. It was so brilliant, and I was part of this mist, and now I'm hovering over and hovering over my body, looking down upon myself, realizing that is my body now, at this time, now, I hovered for a while. I remember looking over my body and looking over my body and just looking down upon it. And then all of a sudden, I recognize my spirit, recognize that that body has no life at it anymore. And once I remember saying that in my mind, this beam of light comes from behind and comes right, right onto me, and it just turns me. I didn't turn, I don't remember turn, it instantly turns me in this beautiful gateway opens up in front of me that that's magnificent, and I'm just pulled right into it. I had no I could do nothing. I mean, it had full control over me, and it brought me into this magnificent tunnel. And now I'm moving. And I'm moving now I'm moving faster and faster, and the tunnel is made up of these beautiful, beautiful, magnificent colors. And the faster I moved, I'm feeling love and embraced like I've never, ever felt in my life. It was a completely different kind of love, the love and the love kept getting stronger and stronger. I almost felt like I was being cradled, like if you were a child or an infant. I was being protected, I know that, and taken care of on the way home, and I'll never forget my arrival, which I'll call heaven, because that's our home. That's home to me and mostly everybody I believe. I said to myself over and over again, I'm in this beautiful, illuminated place. There's spirits all around me. I. Felt in my mind, and I'm going to say in my heart, even though I didn't have a body at this time, but I felt they were family and friends. And I'm saying, I'm home. I'm finally home. Thank God I'm home. I recognized it as home. That's where I came from, that someday where I'm going back to and all of a sudden I hear this whisper in my ear. I'll call it this whisper saying, Bill, yes, you're home. You're home in the light of God. And this is the first time I hear another voice, and now I'm actually communicating. The communication was unbelievable. Everything is telepathy, and it's wonderful, because your mind opens up and expands on the other side, there's so much expansion. I think that in on Earth, we use maybe five or 6% of our capability, of our mind well when we're on the other side, because we're light beams of beautiful light, that's what we are when we're on the other side, I believe we use 100% of our mind and senses. And the dean told me this beautiful, gorgeous Angel, my guide. She said, I'm one of your guides. You have three guides. My name is Antonia, and I am the one that came in to get you, to bring you home. And I realized at that point that I didn't realize she was with me in the tunnel coming home or anything, but she says I was with you all the way and and now for the first time, here I'm communicating, and this family and friends I'm communicating. The communication is all with telepathy. You feel and hear exactly what people are saying to you, and you, you speak back to them. And it's beautiful. And then she explains to me that, Bill, you have two other guardians. And all of a sudden, I hear this voice, Alex. It's my brother Peter's voice. Now my brother Peter's voice, I recognize. I grew up with that voice. Now he's standing in front of me in this beautiful light. Oh, he's standing in front of me in this in this beautiful light and and he said, Billy. When he said Billy, it was like my whole being melted into his. It was wonderful. I felt tears come down my eyes, even though I didn't have a body no more, and the feeling was magnificent. And he says, Billy, it's time. This is time for your life. Review, I didn't know what a life review was at this time, I was perfectly fine. Where I was, I was home. I felt like I'm part of this light now. It's magnificent. And we just whisked off to another plane, and this plane was was magnificent, and all of a sudden, it felt like they were showing me all the good I've ever done in my lifetime.
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