PRE-BIRTH EXPERIENCE, Life Between Lives, Why We REINCARNATE & Is Free Will REAL? with Melissa Denyce

Melissa Denyce was born with pre-birth memories of divine light and spent her early years searching for answers. At 19, she had a spiritually transformative experience in which she awakened into a direct encounter with the love, light, and bliss that she remembered from before.

Now Melissa has made it her life’s mission to share divine love with others in a way that is easy to understand and experience. She shares her own teachings and interviews other spiritual experiences and conscious influencers on her YouTube channel, Love Covered Life Podcast. Her joy is to help people know and experience that God is love and that God is within them.

Please enjoy my conversation with Melissa Denyce.

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Listen to more great episodes at Next Level Soul Podcast

Follow Along with the Transcript – Episode 265

Melissa Denyce 0:00
A lot of times people can judge themselves for not being spiritual enough. Or if I've had a spiritual experience, then I shouldn't deal with all these lower energies. And that's just not true. So what happened to me is I was driving down the road one day, and I had a random panic attack. And it was terrifying.

Alex Ferrari 0:21
I'd like to welcome to the show Melissa Denyce, how you doing, Melissa?

Melissa Denyce 0:35
Wonderful. Thank you so much for having me Alex!

Alex Ferrari 0:38
Thank you so much for coming on the show. Like we were talking earlier, I'm a fan of the work that you do your show. And there's there's few really good shows doing this kind of work out there, in my opinion, and you are definitely one of them. So I appreciate the work you're doing to awakening to awaken humanity. So I appreciate you for that.

Melissa Denyce 0:57
Oh, thank you so much. That means a lot to me. And as I was just saying, Your content is phenomenal. I've been binge watching your shows.

Alex Ferrari 1:07
I appreciate that. Thank you so much. So we're gonna get into your pre birth memories and experiences in a little bit. But I wanted to go first back to what we like, what was your life like prior to your spiritual awakening?

Melissa Denyce 1:21
Yeah, of course. So I was raised in a Christian household, I was raised in a Reformed Baptist, which is a more strict version of Christianity. So I was raised very religious, very much of the mindset that we have to try to please God so that we can go to heaven and not hell when we die. And so I was always very religious and very interested in spiritual things. But I was seeking for fulfillment outside of me in, you know, like trying to find this elusive connection with God and trying to stimulate some type of spiritual experience. So I experienced a lot of depression, anxiety, just a lot of room, a lot of internal strife and struggle. And yeah, I tried my very best to seek out a connection with God in his connection with the divine within my Christian structure, and just never really got anywhere with it. So I this went on until, let's see, right about the time I got married, I just became very disillusioned with it all. And I just said, Okay, I'm not getting anywhere, nothing is happening. Maybe, maybe the spiritual thing is all a lie. Maybe it's really not true. Maybe you can't really experience God. And I sort of shut everything down and went into the one of the darkest seasons of my life, which really continued several years into my marriage until I was 29 years of age. And me and my husband were really struggling. Our marriage was on the rocks. We were, our finances were crumbling, we had lost our home twice, because we couldn't afford to pay the rent. And we have two young children and I was pregnant with our third. And that was really the catalyst that threw me into my spiritual awakening.

Alex Ferrari 3:23
Wow. So how did you so what was that a spiritual awakening? What happened to you at that time that you decided to like, you know, but by the way, before I get into that question, did you still have your memories of your pre birth memories, or had they not come in yet?

Melissa Denyce 3:38
I had suppressed a lot of them. Though, there's a couple of memories that I have always remembered. One of them was a brief, a brief flash of me planning my life. And the other one was my experience with the light. But I didn't understand what that was. And most of my, my, my seeking within my Christian faith was to reconnect with what I was remembering. And I just couldn't get it to work. And so I kind of gave up on it at that point.

Alex Ferrari 4:09
So what was the spiritual awakening at 29? What happened?

Melissa Denyce 4:11
What happened is I was just desperate enough that I was ready to look outside of the religious box that I was in. And so I began reading near death experience accounts. And I very quickly discovered that many people had experiences just like what I had remembered from pre birth. And so it was just, I remember sitting glued to my tablet like late into the night after my kids were bed, just binge reading these experiences and being in tears because I'm realizing, Wait a minute, this is all real. And this is the first time I've ever heard of anybody else having similar experience. And the it's like the answer just start calm. mean it because the answers that you get from near death experiences are so simple and so profound, like, it's all about love. We're just here to learn how to love each other. And God isn't waiting to throw people in hell after they die, you don't have to try to please God in some way, you don't even have to try to find God or try to have a relationship with God, because everything is an expression of God. So that means I'm an expression of God. And I started to understand that I had to look within myself to find what I had been seeking my entire life. And so within a matter of just a couple of weeks of reading these stories, I deconstructed my Christian faith. And I just like, let go of all of this baggage, and was finally free to believe what I had always sort of known was true, but really had suppressed.

Alex Ferrari 5:53
Well, let me ask you this, because I was I was also raised Catholic. So we walked over the same dead bodies, as they say, in many ways, and we both still feel very guilty. Because of it, but so if there's someone listening right now, because I know there's a lot of people like yourself, who are struggling with what they've been told and raised with those those ideas, the religious boxes that we were all kind of, programmed with, and I don't use the word programmed in a bad way, we'll program from the moment we're born, you know, to from everything around us. But that was, you know, if you're born into a Hindu family, you're going to be probably Hindu. If you're born into a Jewish family, you're probably going to be Jewish. And we're talking about Christianity and Catholicism. What would you say to people who are watching this, that were in the same place you were trying to connect to God, but the religious programming did not access the code properly? You can't, that you couldn't decipher the the problem with this kind of technology. There's other you know, this is programming. What would you say to these people listening like that right now?

Melissa Denyce 7:06
Absolutely. Yes. Well, first of all, I want to say that I am not anti religion, I think that religion has so much good for so many people who need that, for whatever stage of life they're in at that time. But if it's not working for you, there's a saying in Christianity, where they'll say, Don't put God in a box, if God leads you outside of the box, you have to follow no matter who's gonna criticize you, no matter what happens. But at the same time, they still give you this box that you have to stay inside of you can't find God outside of the Christian box. Well, that's, that's cognitive dissonance, that doesn't make logical sense. So follow that advice. If, if what you're doing is not getting you that connection that you want, then listen to your heart, listen to the small voice within and do what you feel called to do follow that call where it leads you, because it will absolutely lead you outside of the box. And it can be a such a scary thing. But there are 1000s of people going through this process right now. And you are absolutely not alone. And it is so much better, to live authentically. And to find for yourself, what is really true for me and what speaks to me, then, to just wonder what would have happened if you had never followed your path.

Alex Ferrari 8:34
You know, I would argue millions of people are going through this. Yeah, 10s of millions of people are going through this around the world, I think more so than than ever before we too, because I think you as well as I having the shows that we have, we see the thirst, the hunger for this information. And you know, because it might just be views or downloads and their little numbers, but every number is associated with the human being with a soul who is searching for this information. And I do love that you said that, you know, as much as I kind of sometimes make fun of my Catholicism, and I'm a recovering Catholic and all this stuff. I say it in jest because, yes, every religion has good, hopefully good parts of it. And it is very important to certain people around the world to many people around the world. But it also is depending on what stage you are in, in this life. That might be the road you walk, and you might do a lot of good in the world being in a religion, but this is for everybody who feels that this might be a little bit curious about some other stuff.

Melissa Denyce 9:38
Yeah, absolutely. And I think specifically in this time, there's a lot more people that are just questioning things and that are called to go outside of that box

Alex Ferrari 9:50
And not just in spirituality and everything I mean for memories all I've noticed that too in our society, so many structures and and entities that were rock solid for us growing up, are now being questioned. You know, and you would never question this, you'd never get for God's sakes, you would never question the church. Geez, because you could question the church. And then all this stuff happened. And, and all these other things happen, you know, within the within the church and things like that, and all these things starts coming out to light and you just go, Huh, but the whole world seems like even in our money and our food and our politics and everything. Everyone's questioning everything, which before? You know, you and I are of similar, you're younger than me for sure. But we were still raised in the time that that was not the case at all.

Melissa Denyce 10:38
Yeah, I've noticed that too. Specifically, questioning the workforce, at least here in America questioning the way that there's the way things are done? Should we have to go work a nine to five should we have to only have so much time off per year? This is getting a little bit off topic. But it's still what you were saying. All of these old systems are being questioned and thinking outside of them, like how can we actually create a better system? I think that's where a lot of people are at,

Alex Ferrari 11:09
Without without question. So let's go into your pre birth memories, just after you had your spiritual awakening, you are able to really embrace these memories. What is your earliest pre birth memory?

Melissa Denyce 11:20
The earliest and strongest pre birth memory that I have is of being in the light for birth. And it is completely impossible to put it into words even saying being in the light. i It wasn't a visual experience. I wasn't in a body with five senses. But light is the closest word that I can think of to describe what it was. So I yeah, I have to make a note before I describe it, that nothing I say is going to come close. Because we don't even have concepts to understand what this was let alone words to describe it. But my best my best effort at describing it would be to say that it was like being in the middle of creation. And there was this extremely powerful presence or consciousness, that was the creator and the creation happening. It was both and all. And it was like being in a hurricane of light, a universe sized hurricane of light that was also extreme power, and all consuming love, and bliss and joy and innocence and music and math and geometry and laughter. It's like all of these things for us in this world are separate things. But it's there, it was all the same thing. And it was absolute perfection. And so it was like this light was unfolding like a flower opening. And it was expressing itself in creation. And like I said, the whole thing was music. And it was like it was made up of these individual trillions upon trillions of smaller lights that were all part of the one hole and it was singing. And if I could translate the words, again, language falls short here, because our pronouns, we don't have the right pronouns. So it'd be like, I am so in love with me, but the eye and the me contains everything. So we are so in love with us. And everything is joy, upon Joy upon joy come and experience, the sacred dance of love with us, is the closest that I could come to it. And so I mostly as a child, I remember the feeling of being here. And it was complete safety and bliss and satis like satisfaction of every desire. And so I remembered it as if I was outside this light and then entering into the light and what that felt like with the anticipation of knowing what I would feel when I entered the light. And so as a child, that that's mostly what I remember just that feeling of being in the light and knowing that that was out there somewhere. And it was the answer to all the world's problems. And just being unable to figure out where it had gone, what it was and how I could get that feeling back.

Alex Ferrari 14:40
Well, let me ask you so do you have any feeling or memory of what it was like prior to this? Because you said you were out. It felt like you were outside the light. And then you were walking into it. So you were outside waiting to get into the dance essentially, it sounds like Do you remember what it was like outside the bar?

Melissa Denyce 15:00
Yes, I just remember this overwhelming feeling of anticipation, like this is going to be absolute bliss.

Alex Ferrari 15:08
Interesting. So okay, so you're, so you're so when you're going into your incarnation or pre blank, the pre birth planning, you're into this, we use the word magical, whatever words we can use, but this love this light that you're in are so you're what you walked into the light. Now you're here. What were your memories of your planning of your of your souls planning in this incarnation?

Melissa Denyce 15:35
Yeah, I just have a very brief memory. I remember asking for red hair. And the reason I remember this, I think is because when I was young, we used to go, I live in the US in Michigan, and we used to go up to Canada every year in the fall. And there are lots of eight oak trees and acorns and things there by the cabins that we had stay in. And my mom, I remember her telling me your hairs, Auburn red is the color of oak trees and acorns. And so and when she said that, it's like I remembered, oh, yeah, I asked for this hair color. And so I just remember asking for red hair, because I thought that it would help me keep on track with my mission in life, which was to be about unconditional love. And that things were going to be very difficult. And so I wanted that reminder.

Alex Ferrari 16:26
Well, let me ask you that. Did you did you obviously you picked your parents, but you don't have any memory of why you would pick go down that path to go through that that door of being a very strict religious, the opposite of where you're going, it looks like it was you almost through that struggle in front of you. So you can overcome it to get to where you need to be. Is that fair?

Melissa Denyce 16:48
Yeah, I don't remember that specifically from the pre birth planning. But that's been my experience in this life, is that I love the awakening process. There's just something about it. That's so beautiful. And looking back on it, I wouldn't change it. Because I got to experience that awakening into a realization of what God really is what reality really is, and remembering of all those things. Do you remember any other memories and your pre birth? I do? These ones popped up later. So I didn't have an n i Do you remember that I knew about them when I was a small child. So it's like, I had my memories triggered later when I started reading near death experiences. And I remembered Yeah, I remember knowing this when I was very young. So I remember being in a realm that was made entirely of light. And like, if you're taking a hot shower, like a really hot shower, and there's waves of steam in the air, that's what it was like, except it was light. And everything was made up of light. I was made up of light. I remember feeling like I was a really young, innocent soul. And I was there in this place with other young innocent souls I perceived myself to be like a child like level. And I felt like I was in some sort of garden or nursery of some kind. And I remember another really powerful being which I've referred to as Jesus coming and visiting us there. Now, people have questioned that because I put the name Jesus to it and saying, You're just making that up, because Jesus is a religious figure. And possibly because I was raised Christian. That's what comes to mind. But I do feel that it was Jesus. It was this really powerful being and I could feel his consciousness. And it was extremely joyful. It was like he was joy and joy was radiating off of him. And I could feel that. And my primary state of consciousness was of joy and innocence, like far beyond what we experienced in this world. Just the feeling that you have never done anything wrong, and you never could do anything wrong. And I remember being there and being taught things. I remember learning about how the angels or what we would call angels, again, because I was raised as a Christian. So I was taught about angels, but the protective beings that work in the world, and how they do not use violence because I was taught in the church that angels are God's warriors, and they're doing battle with the demons. But what I would have shown him that places that they actually use love, and they primarily work through healing, whether that's Healing Hearts, healing relationships, or helping somebody to go through a spiritual awakening. If somebody's at rock bottom, and they're calling out for help, that's where the, these beings will step in and help guide them. So I remember learning about that in this realm of light that I was in.

Alex Ferrari 20:15
And do you have any sense of intention or purpose. On the other side, like you'd like in this life, I've got a, my focus is going to be about love, unconditional love, I'm going to go through some stuff. But this is going to be my purpose, I'm going to find out about it at around 30.

Melissa Denyce 20:32
I don't remember that much detail. I do remember another glimpse of right before I came in, I remember, the eye was an orb of light. And as there was another larger orb of light, who I'm guessing was probably my guide. And I was looking down down into the right is where the earth was at. And I felt very excited. I again, I felt so innocent, so empowered, so free, perfect. You know, like, I had never done anything wrong. And I was so excited. And I honestly thought, like, naively, I'm gonna go down there, and I'm gonna, this is going to be so easy, because I'm going to feel just like this. I'm not going to forget who I really am.

Alex Ferrari 21:23
How'd that workout?

Melissa Denyce 21:25
I forgot very quickly

Alex Ferrari 21:30
You know what, it's really interesting. You say that? Because that's a question I get all the time. I'm sure you get it as well, is that why do we forget? If we have past lives? And if this week, our nation? Why can't we remember all of that? Why can't we, you know, pull on our past lives knowledge to help us in this life and all this? What's the purpose of forgetting? I'd love to hear your point of view on that.

Melissa Denyce 21:53
Yeah, absolutely. I would say that if we remembered it would defeat the purpose of being here. Because it is an incredibly difficult place. And we come here with the knowledge that it is going to be hard because we're going to be cut off and then we won't actually still remember and be connected to who we are. Even though like me, you may naively think that you still will. I knew what I was getting into. I mean, theory, like intellectually, I understood, this is what's gonna happen, it's gonna be really difficult. But until you get here and experience it, you don't know.

Alex Ferrari 22:32
Well, yeah, it's kind of like intellectually, you understand? If you put your hands to the fire, you're gonna get burned. But until you get burned, you really don't understand what that is.

Melissa Denyce 22:40
Exactly. Yeah.

Alex Ferrari 22:43
No, we you said you spoke to Jesus, or you call them Jesus, but this other this power, other entity? What other entities Did you? And did you encounter during this process? Besides the Jesus energy and your guide? Did you communicate with them at all? In one way, shape, or form?

Melissa Denyce 23:00
I don't remember, I don't remember any communications, I communication is different there. So it's like, it's beyond even mind to mind I it's more like you just know, you just you can feel you can read other people's consciousness, you can feel exactly what their energy is made up of. And so I don't ever remember having a, like a back and forth conversation with anyone. If that makes sense.

Alex Ferrari 23:32
Okay, that doesn't make sense. Did you? Did you? How did you spend time while you were there was there because from your experience here and your experience there, what was time like,

Melissa Denyce 23:42
In the light. There's no time. And that's everything happening. In the present moment. Of course, those words really fall short, to describe what it is. But it's the fullness and perfection of everything right now. And it's all one being. And it's all right now. I do think, of course, I just have glimpses of different memories. So it's hard for me to say where I was or a sequence of events that was happening. But I do think that there's different realms that we can experience. So in the ultimate realm, maybe in the singularity, or in the void as the near death. experiencers call it there is no time at all. And I think that there's lower realms, not that lower or higher really has any meaning. But where you do experience some sense of time. denser. Yes, yeah. denser,

Alex Ferrari 24:47
But denser. Yeah. The vibrations are a little bit like we're really dense down here, extremely down down here. Whatever that is. There's that there's that Catholic and Christian But they're down here. Yeah, like it's still in there. But yeah, we're really from what I understand what it is in a very dense, it's kind of like almost walking around in water. And then the second you get out of water, you realize, oh, I feel so much lighter. And then if you're like, in zero gravity, you even feel that much lighter than you do on Earth. There's no gravitational pull on you. So that is that kind of our feels.

Melissa Denyce 25:24
Oh, yeah. And I still feel that being in body. It's, it's like it's very, it's so heavy. It's, you feel stuck, you feel really restricted.

Alex Ferrari 25:38
Interesting. Well, let me ask you, why do you think that you have been given this gift of memory of this?

Melissa Denyce 25:44
I think it has to do with my purpose here. And a lot of people will ask me if, if it makes life easier or harder. And I don't think you can really compare that to another person's experience. I think it could be easier in some ways, and harder and others. But I think it has more to do with the reason why I'm here. Because I have this memory of the light. It's really driven my life. And it's been the one overriding thing that I just, I can't get rid of it. You know what I mean? It's just always there. And it's always pushing me forward to seek My own divine union, and also to try to help other people down that path as much as I'm able anybody who is interested. So I like I said, I think it has more to do with my purpose. Because I remember this I'm really, really driven to seek that experience again, which hasn't always been hasn't always landed me in the right place either.

Alex Ferrari 26:48
What let me ask you when you were also on the other side, were you aware of other souls waiting? As well as like, because I've obviously that movie sold the Pixar movie soul is such a beautiful, no, I love it. It's such a beautiful movie. Like there's like, you know, or that movie defending your life with Albert Brooks. That their souls on there, everyone's waiting to come down or things like that you have any memories of any other souls?

Melissa Denyce 27:13
Now, if, if I did, I can't remember them. Now. I did. There were other souls there. But I don't specifically remember any waiting to come down to earth.

Alex Ferrari 27:23
Okay, so you did to do you had some sense of other souls? Oh, yes. Yes. So we're our part in the once you're in the light or prior to before you walked into the bar, if they, as they say, or the dance club, or outside of it.

Melissa Denyce 27:38
In the light, the light was everyone that has ever existed or ever will exist. So there was that, that's like its own thing. But in the in the other memories. In the garden of light, where I saw that Jesus figure, there were a lot of other young souls or souls that were at my level that were there learning and growing with me, I have other memories of like, the light, like places like the realms made up of light. And I remember other what I would call guides, or angels or just more advanced spiritual beings, I remember a really beautiful female, she felt like a female being that was a nurturer or a caretaker of younger souls. I remember being with her for a while and feeling like I was a part of her. And then I got to a point where I had to move on and into what I needed to do, and I couldn't stay in that place forever. So yeah, there were a souls What if I was in a realm where I could see them? A visual experience? They appeared like orbs of light, different sizes and colors of light.

Alex Ferrari 28:52
So from your experience, do we learn on the other side, but when you're down here, it's an it's an advanced course, let's say?

Melissa Denyce 29:04
Yeah, from my experience, we're learning and developing on the other side. Yes. And then coming here is this very intense?

Alex Ferrari 29:15
It's like, it's like a graduate program. Your PhD is down here.

Melissa Denyce 29:19
Yeah. Because up there, everything is literally just love and light. Everything is I mean, you feel good all the time. But down here, that's not the case at all.

Alex Ferrari 29:31
Well, isn't it isn't it a fair statement to say that you need that contrast in order to grow like you need the struggles in your life, whatever level they might be at, or amplitude they are at, in order to learn and to grow? Because I learned more much more from my losses than my wins, at least in my lifetime.

Melissa Denyce 29:51
Yeah. I hate to say it, but it's the same with me. It's I learned so much quicker from my challenges.

Alex Ferrari 30:00
So that's why we're here basically is it's just to be challenged again and again and again, in a curriculum that we kind of set up to a certain extent.

Melissa Denyce 30:08
Yeah, I would say that it even though we're kind of joking about how it's all light and love up there, and it's not that way down here, in actuality, everything is made up of light and love, that ultimate reality, everything is light. And I think part of the reason that we're here is to grow in our ability to, in our awareness of that, because it doesn't feel like it's light and love here doesn't look like it at all, but it actually is. And so part of the experience of the contrast is to awaken us to the point where we can actually see that it is all perfection that, as Jesus said, The kingdom of heaven is right here. within you. Yeah. And then in the Gospel of Thomas, he said, The kingdom of heaven is spread out upon the work spread out upon the world, but people don't see it. And that's why we're here is to learn to see that

Alex Ferrari 31:08
It's really is a really interesting point of view on that, when you were on the other side, or even during your lifetime, have you had any memories of past lives?

Melissa Denyce 31:19
Not anything that's solid enough that I could say that I that's a past life, I think when I was really little I did. But it's just too vague and fuzzy for me now, to be able to confidently say that was a past life.

Alex Ferrari 31:37
Right?!Could have been a dream or could have been something right. Right kind of popped in there. Was there anything on the other side in regards to spiritual or universal truths that you've brought back the kind of been reopened after your spiritual awakening?

Melissa Denyce 31:51
Love is the answer to everything. That's the one thing that I remember really strongly that I sort of always knew, even as I was a child, a lot of things didn't make sense to me in this world, because I just didn't understand what why do they have to go to war and fight about this? Why can't they just understand that we have to love each other?

Alex Ferrari 32:12
So basically, the Beatles Yeah. Basically, what the Beatles have been saying since the 60s, they got it right. Love, love is all you need. Love is all you need. So when you just when you finally started to open yourself up to these pre birth experiences to your spiritual awakening, how did you deal with the psychological issues of letting go of this foundation? That you had been programmed for so long? Because that is a scary, terrifying thing to do? Yeah. How did you deal with it on a psychological state? And then also, how did the people around you deal with this new Melissa, which I'm sure it was with open arms and many?

Melissa Denyce 33:02
Right, okay, so how can I deal with it? Well, for the first couple of years, I just thought it was I just thought I was gonna get through it without having any issues. Because my deconstruction happens so fast, and I was so ready to just accept this deeper truth that I had discovered. And, and I was I felt like I was on a high for a few years, honestly. And I thought, I looked around at a lot of other people who are really struggling with their deconstruction and I was just grateful that it wasn't so difficult. And I tried to be be there for those people and then a few years and I can't remember if it's like three years in, I think, three years after I went public with it. So it was even longer. It was more like probably five or six years after I deconstructed I got hit with some really really intense overwhelming emotions of fear panic anxiety, guilt. That was my that programming coming up because you know, you're taught if you go outside the lines, you're gonna burn in hell forever.

Alex Ferrari 34:13
Since first grade, I learned that yeah, terrified, terrified.

Melissa Denyce 34:14
Yeah, me too. I mean, I would lay in bed every night begging Jesus to save me over and over again because I didn't want to die in my sleep and wake up in hell.

Alex Ferrari 34:27
Like those was that was like my little silver keep if I died before awake, I pray this Lord my soul to take a terrifying thing to say before you thought If I die, please go. I don't want to go to hell, please. Like it's horrific. It's like a horror movie.

Melissa Denyce 34:44
I know. And you teach kids

Alex Ferrari 34:48
well, let's not even go back into what they used to do to us as kids. Because as we grew up, I mean, Jesus.

Melissa Denyce 34:56
Yeah, yeah, that could be another whole couple of episodes.

Alex Ferrari 35:00
Oh, yes, pet Parenting from the 50s 60s and said, Yes, that's sorry. So you had all this stuff kind of come up to you, I guess you had not really dealt with it. You just had this all this new information came in. And you're like, Well, who but then all of a sudden this other program like well, whoa, and it's starting to come back up out of you. Yeah. How did you deal with all of that?

Melissa Denyce 35:22
Yeah. And I think this is so important to talk about, because it, it's part of the human experience that we have here. And a lot of times people can judge themselves for not being spiritual enough, or if I had a spiritual experience than I shouldn't deal with all these lower energies. And that's just not true. So what happened to me is, I was driving down the road one day, and I had a random panic attack. And it was terrifying. And I didn't know what was going on with me. And I got professional help. I got a therapist because I needed help. Because at that point in my life, and my husband was supportive, I'm so grateful for that. But I had no, I have lost everybody. Because of my deconstruction. And all the people that did stick with me, we're long distance, and I felt very alone. And I was putting myself out there publicly on my YouTube channel, and feeling all this guilt coming in. Like, what if I am leading all these people astray? What if, what if not, not that I consciously believe that but the subconscious programming coming up and causing these really heavy emotions to surface, so I got help. And I worked through it, I had to learn how to sit with those emotions, and how to not suppress them, or run from them, and just accept them and let them pass and ask what what is this teaching me? What What can I learn from this. And I had to go back to a lot of memories from my childhood that I had suppressed, that where's the triggers for some of these things, and work through those. And it took me about a year, but I finally began to come out of it. And it's still up and down with me sometimes, too. I mean, I'm still working through it. And that's, that's okay, I think you really, it's just part of that experience of contrast that we're having that if you can deal with something really overwhelming, like fear like that. And you can accept it and love it and shine the light there, then they say, anyway, your capacity to hold the light will increase. And ultimately, that's what I want

Alex Ferrari 37:50
So you didn't just kind of have this spiritual awakening and construction and all this stuff privately, you decided to open up a YouTube channel, and put yourself out there in a very public way. So that amplified all of this, in a large way, the guilt that all the stuff that came up, you know, and I'm imagining the people you grew up with your friends, your family, my, from what you're telling me were raised in a very strict way, their programming basically said, You're going to hell, in many ways. So again, how did you deal with that? Because why did you decide to do it publicly? Because you'd like came out of the closet, the spiritual clauses, if you will, in a large way, talking about this stuff. How long is this YouTube channel been around

Melissa Denyce 38:39
2020 was when I got serious with it. So three years or so?

Alex Ferrari 38:44
Three years ago, okay. So even three years ago, these conversations were not as, as not as many as are having now. Right there. So again, there's a lot of this was new stuff. And I'm sure there was terms of witchcraft and demons, and oh, yeah, all that kind of stuff thrown. Yeah, I read the comments. We're all demons. We're all here. This is all witchcraft, you're going straight to hell. This has to, on a certain level, psychologically, this has to hit you. How did you? And I'm asking these questions, again, for people listening, right now are either going through this, about to go through this because it is not easy. And I've said this on the show so many times, I was terrified of this show that I'm on that I've created because I was putting myself out there, right very large way. And I was already public in another forum, which I built up and I didn't want to lose it. So I was risk of that and all this kind of stuff. So I had left my Catholicism, a Catholic programming back. That wasn't my that wasn't my, my baggage. I was carrying other baggage. I had left that back years and years ago. But you came out in a very different way. So that's why I asked the question.

Melissa Denyce 39:59
Yeah, and some Time, I'd love to hear more of your story too. But yeah, I felt like I just felt compelled to talk about it, I couldn't not talk about it. You know, as a fellow artists, you're a producer, right? When you get the inspiration, it doesn't come from within you. It's like it comes in, and it is going to express whether you like it or not. And so I, I just had to talk about it. I've felt like I've finally found the answers, I've been looking for my entire life. And I have to tell the world like there has to be other people out there who are looking for those same answers. And there were, as you know, through doing your podcast, also, there are so many people who are seeking and who are hungry for this information and who are looking to connect with other people, because they feel alone in their lives. So I just couldn't not talk about it.

Alex Ferrari 41:00
Yeah, you're so right. There's so many people who you they feel like they're on a desert island somewhere. And just hearing the stories of other near death experiences, or channelers, or spiritual ideas that are outside of their box is so empowering. It makes you feel less nuts, in many ways, because I've heard that from so many people who reached out to me that like, I didn't even know I had a near death experience until I started watching the videos and go, Oh, I had a near death experience. And I'm not the only one that saw this stuff on the other side and experiences. There's others, and oh my god and this and that. It just opens up these these ideas in a way. But well, congratulations on having the bravery to do it. Because it's not speaking from experience, it's not easy. It is not easy to go out there publicly jump out of the spiritual closet in such a big kind of public way. And, and you've had millions of people watch your videos as well. And, and it's, it's not easy. It's not easy. And then when you do this work to you got to kind of be prepared for the arrows because they're common.

Melissa Denyce 42:09
Oh, yeah. I'm sure you experienced that too. But it's like you have the lot the loss of community in your personal life. And then you have the public criticism coming from the YouTube channel. So I mean, it's not a bad thing, though. It really helps you, you have to dig deep, and you have to look at where your source of strength is really coming from. And you really have to be authentic.

Alex Ferrari 42:35
Right! Because if you allow those things to bother you, then it's you're leading with ego. Right, as opposed to truth. If you understand your truth, and you understand what you're doing, and you understand your intentions, then you just go and I laugh at I mean, every single time I see a word demon, or wizard or hell or like, you know, I just like just like, wow, you stopped a moment out of your day, to sit down and make sure that everybody knew how you felt about what you just saw. That says more about you, my dear Are you sir, than it does about me? Exactly. And I'm sure we're gonna get it on this one as well.

Melissa Denyce 43:16
Oh, yeah. I remember when I had first started, I think I was a couple years in, and my sisters were visiting my sisters or bet my best friends and have have supported me. And I was reading some of the comments and I was just I was laughing because to me, it's so hilarious, but my sisters were very, like, protective of me and like, I can't believe you're laughing at that. How could they say that?

Alex Ferrari 43:44
Oh, my God. I Oh, yeah. I mean, if you see the stuff, it's just hilarious. Very creative. Hilarious. But hey, everyone's on their path. Everyone's got everyone's. And there's and I was reminded just just today by somebody's like, not there's nobody who's ever walked the earth that has been liked by everybody. Not Jesus, not Buddha, Krishna. Not more. Not anybody. Everybody has some haters.

Melissa Denyce 44:13
So true.

Alex Ferrari 44:15
So we're a good company. We're a good company. Yeah. So in your journeys during your with your work, have you met other pre pre birth experiences? And how did they gel with yours?

Melissa Denyce 44:31
Yeah, absolutely. A lot of people actually have posted in my comments and I haven't met them all. Personally, a lot of times they'll just comment and say, Oh, I I remember planning my life to or I remember being in a sphere of light and coming down into the earth. But I have actually connected with some Christian Sunberg, who you also know is crucial him Yes, me too. He's such a great person. Let's Si. R Kimura, Tova is another person that I've connected with. And there's been a couple of others. But those two I've really developed a friendship with. And it's interesting because each of our experiences are so different. But yet, there's so much, I would say that the specific situations like that we remember are different. But the nature of reality, if I could, for lack of a better word, and not describing this very well, but the truth of what we experienced was so much the same, like the metaphysics of how it operates over there is the same for everybody who's experienced it.

Alex Ferrari 45:42
I mean, we're all coming from the same place, essentially. So it's just a different, you're just seeing a different part of the elephant, as they say, yeah, exactly. Yeah. Now you also had when you were 19, this thing called a near death, like, experience? Can you please tell that story, which is a pretty fascinating one?

Melissa Denyce 46:02
Yeah, I would love to. So I was about 18, or 19. And as I said, earlier, I was really seeking this divine connection, this blissful feeling that I remembered from my pre birth memory, within my Christian faith. And so I was praying every night before I went to bed, to be given a supernatural experience, so that I could feel what I had been taught to call God's presence can, can I feel your presence, because I know if I can feel that bliss, again, all of my earthly pain would leave in an instant. And so for years, I prayed this and nothing happened. And I don't know why it happened when I did. But I feel like maybe they were joking up, they're like, we're gonna have to do something, because she is just, she's, she is so obsessed with this. And she's not stay on track with what she's supposed to do with her life. So I was laying in bed one night, praying the same prayer that I always prayed. And all of a sudden, I was in another reality. And there's two phases to my experience that I remember, the first phase I was still laying, I perceive myself to be laying in my bed. But I was, it was like this other dimension opened up, and I felt like I was swimming in this ocean of love. And the love was washing over me from my feet to my head and waves. And it was washing over me and through me, and it was wiping away all of the pain of my earthly life. And it completely forgotten in an instant. And so it was like, I was in this force field of love. That was also a presence. And I instantly recognized it as the light that I remember from my pre birth memories, and what I had been taught to call God. And so I said, I have been looking for you my entire life. And you are finally here. Where have you been my entire life? And I didn't really get an answer to that question. But I was I could have just stayed there forever. I was, I was blissed out. And this is where words really fail me because I can just try to describe what this felt like. But honestly, we don't even have the feelings here in this world, let alone words to try to describe them. But it was like safety and security and love and bliss and comfort, multiplied by a million. And it was this knowing that everything has always been well, and everything always will be well. And I instantly knew that a lot of the things I had been taught in the church were completely wrong, that the idea that anybody could be eternally lost was just laughable. And I also experienced the masculine and feminine sides of God, I felt like I was being held in my father's arms and nurtured in my mother's womb at the same time. And it was like all the loves that you could experience in this lifetime, all combined together and multiplied by a million. So I could have just stayed there forever. I had no interest in going back to my life. And I'm not sure how long that specific portion of the experience went on. But at some point I began to my consciousness began to expand out of my body, and I found myself somewhere up above the earth, and the presence was still with me. And I didn't have words for this until much later when I discovered near death experiences and they talk about ultimate knowledge. And that's what happened. I instantly knew that I could ask any question that I wanted to ask and I will be given the answer. So I started thinking of questions in my mind. And as soon as I thought of a question, I would be given not only the answer to that question, but how that answer fit together with everything else in the universe. And so I began to expand. And there's several ways I can describe this. One way that I like to describe it is that it was like I was receiving massive downloads of information. And with this information, my consciousness was expanding, as it was taking it in, it was like I was a computer just receiving all of this information so quickly. And within a split second, I had expanded to, as far as it was, as far as I could expand within that experience. And I felt like I knew everything there was to know I understood all the secrets of the Universe, and Everything was happening inside of me. And when I got to the very top, I saw the secret to life, like, this is the reason why we're here. And it was so far beyond our ability to understand here, but it was also so simple that I laughed at and I said, How did I not know this when I was on earth. And as soon as I saw that answer to life, I knew I was going to come back into my head. So I'll pause it there. And then I'll explain a couple other things. Because time was different there. And it was like all of these things were happening at the same time. So another way that I can describe what it felt like to expand is that I was expanding through dimensional awareness. So it's, it would be comparable to expanding from like a two dimensional plane up into a three dimensional plane. And think about how much more space is available, how much more information can be contained in that space. That's what it was like, except I was expanding up through higher dimensions. And every time I would expand up into a new dimension, it was like this release of freedom, like freedom and so much more awareness, like so much more information that I could understand, until it got to the point and I don't know how high I went. But I remember this happening several times where I just go up, and up, and up and up, and you get up to that top level. And it's like, everything is working out for perfection, you can see how every little tiny detail works together for perfection. And I when I was at the top, again, I looked down and I saw what I was told was the cosmic Master Plan of God. So that sounds really cheesy, but I was like a Christian teenager. So that's the words I was given. And I saw this beautiful, magnificent living Mandela pattern that was moving and shifting and multi-dimensional. And it contains all the life paths of every created being. And I could see how we all have freewill within this plan. But everything leads back towards love in the end. Because even a choice against love or against God is ultimately a choice for love. Because that experience of contrast will teach us something that will bring us back towards love. And then the other thing that I saw during this experience that was like, also happening at the same time, somehow, weirdly, as I looked down upon the earth, and I saw that the earth and everything on it is made of brilliant light. And I was shown that the brilliant light is God, what we've been taught to call God is source, it is the creator it is the living presence of God. And everything is made out of that. And so what this experience was like, another way that I can describe it is that it was like flying on a plane on a cloudy day, up above the storm clouds and awakening into this realm of brilliant, blissful light and having this massive realization that everything is okay, I am guided and safe and loved. And what I was experiencing on Earth is like a dream like a bad dream, but it's not real. And from that perspective, you can look down on the earth and you can see that the storm clouds were just an illusion. The pain in the darkness that we experienced here was just an illusion. And we chose to come here and experience that for a reason. But we're never alone. We are guided and loved all the time and we are made of the same essence the same light that God is. And so from God's perspective, he looks down on on us, like a grandfather who's chuckling at his grandkids. And our mistakes are just like a toddler stumbling around trying to walk. And there's absolutely nothing we can do from that perspective, that can be a disappointment or be deserving of judgment, let alone deserving of being thrown in hell forever. So I was having all these realizations. And like, so going back to when I said, I reached the top of everything that I could understand, and I'm sorry, I hope this isn't confusing, because I'm jumping around from one thing to the next. But I knew this is as far as I can go, I'm gonna come back in into my body and I have to go back to Earth. And I did not want to, but it was like my consciousness was floating back in on the music, because everything that was happening was music.

And I could feel my consciousness losing that information, I felt like I was a balloon losing air, and it was just falling out of my head as I came back in. And then I clicked back into place. And I still felt the loving presence around me until I fell asleep. And I had a glow like a warmth of warm glow around me for the next couple of days after this experience happened. And then eventually that faded away also.

Alex Ferrari 56:29
And how did you deal with this when you came back?

Melissa Denyce 56:33
It fueled my fire to have a spiritual experience, because that's what I had been about before is trying to stimulate a spiritual experience, and it made it 10 times stronger. So I joined a charismatic church at that point. And I did like I learned all the teachings about this is how you can have supernatural healings and supernatural this or that, and I did all kinds of crazy things to try to stimulate another experience. And it never happened. And then that's when I became very disillusioned and shut everything down.

Alex Ferrari 57:11
Wow. So you were kind of like shone the light. And then you're like, trying to get back to it. But I think it seems like that you were you were trying to force your way back in you were trying to like, No, I'm gonna get back into that door. As opposed to if you what has happened to you since you've let go. And then when when you let go, the door swung wide open for you again. Is that fair?

Melissa Denyce 57:37
Yeah, absolutely. I was looking for it. Like, the like, this experience of Heaven is somewhere else. It's out there in the universe summer, when actually it's right here. And we just have to learn how to tune into it.

Alex Ferrari 57:55
No, wonder grandpa's laughing at you. Your grandpa's laugh at it? Well, Melissa, I'm gonna ask you a few questions. Ask all my guests. What is your definition of living a fulfilled life?

Melissa Denyce 58:10
My definition of living a fulfilled life would be to create as much love for as many people as possible.

Alex Ferrari 58:17
If you can go back to that little girl and give her one piece of advice. What would it be?

Melissa Denyce 58:23
Look Within. Look past your sense of self. That's where you'll find God.

Alex Ferrari 58:29
And what is your definition of God?

Melissa Denyce 58:30
Hmm, that is a deep question. My definition of God, I think that God is probably in his most fundamental state, his or her most fundamental state is beyond what we can imagine or understand here. But God has expressed God's self as love and that love is what has formed everything. So the definition that makes the most sense to me is God is love.

Alex Ferrari 58:56
And what is the ultimate purpose of life?

Melissa Denyce 58:58
The ultimate purpose of life is. And that's that's an interesting question, because as a person who experiences interviews near death experiences, I get a lot of answers. But I think that it would be to find God here to find God and experienced divine union here in this really dense place.

Alex Ferrari 59:21
And where can people find out more about you and the amazing work that you're doing?

Thank you so much, Alex. Um, yeah, you can find me at on YouTube at love covered life podcast on Instagram and TikTok at Melissa Denyce Denyce. And my website

Melissa Denyce 59:41
I would just love to say that. I think the most important message for our time is for us to realize that life is about love. And we are here to learn how to love each other, and that as humanity, we can do so. Much better than what we've done up to this point, it is possible for us to learn to live in peace and harmony on the earth. And that when we start thinking in those terms, a lot of the problems that seem very overwhelming, we will pre presented with solutions for those things when we can learn, first and foremost, to love each other.

Alex Ferrari 1:00:23
Melissa thank you so much for coming on the show. And thank you for the amazing work you're doing to awakening humanity around the world. So I appreciate you my dear.

Melissa Denyce 1:00:31
Right back at you, Alex, thank you so much for having me.

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