Divine Encounters Episode 049 | Near-Death Experience Story
Ana Christina’s near-death experience is the story of a woman who says the Holy Spirit spoke to her in her mind one night, told her “it’s not your brother, it’s you,” and then led her into a bright light and a deep peace. In this Divine Encounters episode, the Egyptian-born chief financial officer tells Alex Ferrari about the vision on January 8, the voice that cared about yogurt on her rice, and the presence of light she says she stepped into.
Key Takeaways
- Ana says she grew up between Egypt and Canada, was told “over my dead body” when she wanted to marry a Muslim man as a Coptic Christian, and later spent 13 years in a controlling first marriage.
- She describes reconnecting with that first love after about 25 years and marrying him, then watching red flags pile up until she filed for an amicable divorce in December 2008.
- She says she became very ill soon after, with aches and headaches so severe that blinking hurt.
- On January 8, she says, a vision while driving made her believe someone in her family would die, and she thought it was her younger brother.
- She says she heard a voice in her mind that she recognized as the Holy Spirit, who told her, “it’s not your brother, it’s you.”
- She says she accepted it after being reminded of a dream in which Jesus held her two children, and she describes the peace and light that followed.
| Guest | Ana Christina |
| Episode | Divine Encounters 049 |
| Born | Alexandria, Egypt; moved to Canada around age seven |
| Work | Chief financial officer in California |
| What Ana says happened | A vision on January 8, then a voice she recognized as the Holy Spirit told her it was her time to go on a journey |
| Where she says she went | Into a bright light and a presence she understood to be God the Father |
| Who she met | The Holy Spirit, speaking in her mind, and a presence of God the Father |
| The message | God is endless love, and each of us has a unique purpose |
Who Is Ana Christina?
Ana Christina was born in Alexandria, Egypt, moved to Canada around age seven, and later made her home in California, where she worked as a chief financial officer. She is the mother of two children, Colleen and Andrew. She tells Alex that she was born again by the time an old love called her out of the blue after about 25 years.
In this conversation she walks through her life before the night in question: a childhood between two countries, a family tradition that said no to the man she loved, a hard first marriage, a second marriage that unraveled, and a sudden illness. Then she describes, in her own words, what she says happened on January 8. You can find her at anachristina.net.
What Is a Near-Death Experience?
A near-death experience, often shortened to NDE, is a profound personal experience connected to death or the approach of death. People who describe them often mention a feeling of leaving the body, deep serenity, warmth, a bright light, a sense of presence and, sometimes, meeting loved ones who have died. The details tend to be colored by the person’s own culture and faith, so a Christian may describe Jesus or the Holy Spirit, while others describe different guides or no figure at all.
Ana’s account fits that pattern. She describes moving from fear into peace as a light and a presence filled her room, and she explains it in the language of her Coptic Christian faith. For a wider look at what people report, see our complete guide to near-death experiences.
Between Alexandria, Canada and Egypt’s Rules
Ana was born in Alexandria, Egypt, and moved to Canada around age seven. When she was about 12, her father took the family back to Egypt so the children could learn their culture. She struggled with Arabic, since her schooling had been in English and French, so her father hired a tutor named Sam. They fell in love. She returned to Canada, but they stayed connected.
Four or five years later they wanted to marry, and Sam proposed. Her father, even though he liked him, said “over my dead body.” Sam was Muslim and Ana is a Coptic Christian, and in Egypt, she says, you simply do not marry a Muslim. So she knew she had to move on with her life.
For readers new to the term, Coptic Christians belong to the Coptic Orthodox Church, an Oriental Orthodox Christian church based in Egypt. Ana’s faith runs through the whole story that follows.
A Marriage That Broke Her Spirit
Ana came to California around age 24, met Paul and married him. He courted her, she says, and swept her off her feet. It did not take long to realize he was a narcissist, she says, though that word was not in her vocabulary then. There was no internet, and they did not understand such behavior. She describes him as selfish, critical and argumentative about everything, and says he broke her spirit and made everything her fault.
He threatened, she says, that if she tried to leave he would hire a sniper, and said in front of people that no court would hold him accountable. She believed he might do it. They had two beautiful children, Colleen and Andrew. It took about 13 years to finally get out and feel safe. She hired a no-nonsense lawyer, got a restraining order and Paul was out of her life.
If you are struggling, you are not alone. In the US you can call or text 988 any time through the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. If you are in a controlling or unsafe relationship, the National Domestic Violence Hotline offers confidential support.
A Call After Twenty-Five Years
Out of nowhere, Sam called. They had not communicated for about 25 years. She met him in Egypt, thinking her heart was guarded, and not looking for a relationship. She had been born again by then and did not want to remarry. But once they met, she says, all her guards went down and they fell in love again. She was very vulnerable at the time. Paul had been very cold, and she had also been treated badly by people in her own Coptic community, so it no longer mattered to her that he was Muslim. She thought God had sent him, and they married.
They lived in California. Ana was the breadwinner as chief financial officer, and Sam, who did not have the language, stayed home more. She supported him and supported his children in Egypt through medical and dental school. They lived a good life.
Red Flags and an Amicable Divorce
Then some red flags appeared. She started seeing their account depleted, always overdrawn, though she made a lot of money and they were living paycheck to paycheck. Things were not adding up. She began to reevaluate and decided they needed to divorce. They agreed on an amicable divorce and filed in December of 2008.
She did not take it lightly. She had hoped he would change, and prayed, and went to the priests and bishops and everyone at church for marriage counseling because of the kids. Divorce was not something her community took lightly. But he could not change, she says. He was who he was. After they filed, Sam asked to stay in the house for about three weeks until he found another place. She agreed. She did not want to throw him out.
A Sudden Illness
It did not take long after they filed that she started feeling sick. Her whole body ached. She has fibromyalgia, she says, but this was different, “like a bus ran me over.” The worst part was the headaches, so excruciating that blinking hurt. She either kept her eyes shut all day or tried to keep them open. She asked Sam to take her to urgent care, and after about a week of suffering, he did.
At urgent care they did not run any tests, she says, and said it was probably the flu. They gave her a painkiller. Then Sam started giving her his blood pressure medicine. She does not have high blood pressure, she says, but somehow the pressure in her head started going down and she could function again. She was still aching but not debilitated. It was year end, the worst time for a chief financial officer to be away from work, and she had been out for about two weeks. This is Ana’s account of her own experience and not medical advice or a statement about anyone’s intentions.
The Vision on January 8
On January 8, as she drove to work, she got a vision. She says she never gets visions. In it, somebody in her immediate family was dying. She saw her older brother and her two sisters. She did not see her younger brother, Steve. Steve was born with special needs, she says, and was the reason the family had come to Canada: they were seeking better health care for him. She took the vision as a warning that something was going to happen to Steve.
She also remembered a regret. A year before, her mother had been ill and calling for her, but Ana had a major project at work and kept delaying the trip until it was done. The day she finished, which was her mother’s 80th birthday, she called to say she had booked her ticket, and was told her mother had gone into a coma that morning and never came out of it. It was the biggest regret of her life, she says, “to put work before family.” So this time she did not want to take a chance. For more on how people describe such visions, see our glossary entry on precognition.
She went to the office and arranged everything to leave. She called Sam and told him her brother was ill and she needed to go to Egypt. It was Friday. She told him she would leave Saturday or Sunday. She started meeting with her team, her head beginning to hurt again, and she held it with her elbows on her desk so nobody would see her pain.
A Voice, and Yogurt on Her Rice
Somehow, she says, she felt a power telling her to leave everything, stop thinking and go home. She drove to Irvine. As she walked to her condominium, she heard a voice. It was not audible, she says. It was “a voice in my mind speaking to me.” She recognized immediately that it was the Holy Spirit. She had always connected with Jesus, an easier connection, but never really understood the Holy Spirit. To her it was a dove flying. Now he was talking to her, and told her to keep her mouth shut about what was happening.
Sam opened the door and asked whether she was leaving tomorrow or the day after. She said she did not know and would tell him tomorrow. Then the Holy Spirit said: “turn around and get plain yogurt and put it on your rice.” She says she was thinking, you care about yogurt on my rice? It seemed too trivial. It was, she says, her favorite way to eat rice. In Egypt you put lean yogurt on it. He answered her: “Child, I’m in every little detail of your life.” She felt like a fool, she says, and sat on the couch to eat. The voice kept talking, in a dialog, and she says he cracked a joke, with a beautiful sense of humor. She wishes she could remember it.
“It’s Not Your Brother, It’s You”
She said good night to her daughter and went to bed, wondering what was going on. Then he said, she recalls, “it’s not your brother, it’s you.” She had gone to bed assuming she would wake up in the morning, as we all do. She was not ready to die. All she could think of was her daughter waking up in the morning, and she says that broke her heart. She was not accepting it, but trying to.
Then the voice reminded her of a dream from several years earlier. In it, Jesus walked down a beautiful meadow with her, Colleen and Andrew, all of them holding him around the waist and laughing, with his arms around the children. She had always been puzzled that the three of them could walk without tripping on one another’s feet. Now she understood. She was there in spirit. When she remembered the dream and realized he had them, she was okay with letting go. They were in his care.
“You’ll Be Back to Be My Ambassador”
Then the voice told her, “you’re gonna go on a journey and you’ll be back to be my ambassador.” She felt that was not a big deal: ambassador of the Most High God, so great. She asked what he wanted her to do. He said, “I need you to stop thinking.”
She laughs about how hard that is. She kept trying to shut down her brain, but kept wondering whether she had stopped thinking, and was thinking about not thinking. He was very patient, she says. She finally got to the spot where she stopped thinking, and he could tell. Then he told her to shut her eyes, and “no matter what happens, do not open” them.
The Light, the Window and the Second Try
As soon as she shut her eyes, a bright light came into the room, a light she had never seen before. It was not just light, she says. It was a presence. She felt the presence of God the Father, a higher power. The window to her right started to shake as if in an earthquake. Her heart began to palpitate, slowly, then stronger and stronger. And then she got scared, and the whole process shut down. Her heart stopped palpitating, the window stopped, the light turned off.
“I just screwed up my death,” she says, and laughs. The voice said, try this one, you can’t screw up. He just needed her to relax more. He took her through it again. She stopped thinking, shut her eyes, and the light came back with the same presence. This time, since she knew the process, she did not get scared, and it got stronger and stronger. She thought: this is how you die of a heart attack, her heart is going to explode. “And I had tremendous peace.” Then the pain stopped. It was peaceful, and she could breathe again, and she realized the pain was gone.
A Note on This Episode
Ana’s account, as it appears in this part of the episode, is told up to the light and the peace that followed. She describes an experience that began with a vision and a voice and moved into a presence of light. Many people who share near-death experiences describe a bright light, a presence, and a deep peace. See our complete guide to near-death experiences, the glossary entry on near-death experience, and our entry on Jesus of Nazareth for context. We share Ana’s story as her own experience, in her own words.
How Ana’s Account Compares with Common NDE Reports
Researchers who study near-death experiences list a handful of features that many accounts share. Here is how the account on this page lines up. It uses only what Ana says in the part of the episode covered above.
| Common Feature | In Ana’s Account |
|---|---|
| A bright light | Yes. She describes a bright light “that I’ve never seen before.” |
| A felt presence | Yes. She says it was not just light, but the presence of God the Father. |
| Deep peace | Yes. She says, “I had tremendous peace.” |
| Relief from pain | Yes. She says the pain stopped and she could breathe again. |
| A guiding voice or being | Yes. A voice in her mind that she recognized as the Holy Spirit, patient and good-humored. |
| Loved ones present | She is reminded of an earlier dream in which Jesus held her children, and she says that let her release her fear. |
| Leaving the body or a life review | Not described in this part of the episode. |
Who Was the Voice? The Holy Spirit in Ana’s Story
In mainstream Christianity, the Holy Spirit is understood as the third Person of the Trinity, alongside God the Father and God the Son. Ana says she had always found it easier to connect with Jesus. The Holy Spirit, to her, was a concept she did not really understand. She pictured a dove. Yet she says she recognized the voice immediately.
| Quality of the Voice | What Ana Says |
|---|---|
| Where it came from | Not audible. A voice in her mind. |
| How she knew it | She says she recognized it immediately as the Holy Spirit. |
| What it asked | To keep quiet about what was happening, to stop thinking and to shut her eyes. |
| Its attention to detail | It told her to put plain yogurt on her rice, and said it is in every little detail of her life. |
| Its manner | Patient, with a beautiful sense of humor, even offering a second try. |
| How it comforted her | By reminding her of a dream in which Jesus held her children. |
In spiritual traditions across the world, inner guidance is often described as quiet, personal and calm, not dramatic. What stands out in Ana’s telling is that the voice spoke in ordinary terms: a meal, a joke, a gentle instruction to relax. For her, that ordinariness was part of the message.
Themes in Ana’s Story
God in the Small Details
The yogurt moment is the one many listeners remember. Ana says it felt too trivial to matter, and the answer was that nothing in her life is too small. If you take that seriously, it invites a different way of living: paying attention to the everyday as a place where something larger might be speaking.
Letting Go by Trusting
Ana says the hardest moment was thinking of her daughter waking up in the morning. What changed it was the memory of the dream with Jesus and the children. When she realized he had them, she says, she was okay with letting go. Many people find that the deepest fear at the edge of life is not for ourselves but for those we love, and Ana’s story speaks directly to that.
Stopping Thinking: Stillness as a Doorway
The instruction “I need you to stop thinking” will be familiar to anyone who has tried to meditate. Ana laughs about how difficult it was, because she kept thinking about whether she had stopped thinking. Only when she found stillness did the next step come. The humor in her telling is a reminder that stillness is a practice, not a performance.
Regret and Putting Family First
Ana shares that she once delayed a trip to see her ill mother because of a work project, and her mother went into a coma on her 80th birthday, the day Ana finished. She calls it the biggest regret of her life, to put work before family. That memory is part of why she acted on the vision so quickly. Her story gently asks each of us who we are putting off.
Peace in the Place of Fear
One of the most distinctive details is the “second try.” When fear arose, she says, the light, the shaking window and the heartbeat all stopped. When she was calm, they returned, and the fear was replaced by peace. You do not have to share her beliefs to see a human truth in that: fear tends to close us, and trust tends to open us.
Humor and Intimacy in the Sacred
Many people picture the divine as distant and solemn. Ana describes something different: a voice that was patient with her, that joked with her and that stayed with her while she struggled to quiet her mind. She says she wishes she could remember the joke. For anyone who has felt that spirituality has to be serious to be real, that detail offers a warmer picture, one where closeness and laughter belong together.
Why Stories Like Ana’s Matter
Stories of this kind are told by people from every background and every faith, and they tend to carry the same quiet invitation: you are not alone, and the end of life may be gentler than we fear. Ana shares hers as a woman who had been through a controlling marriage, a painful divorce and a sudden illness, which means her account is not a story of someone who had everything easy. It is the story of someone who says she was met with love in the middle of struggle.
You do not need to share Ana’s beliefs to take something from her account. Hearing someone describe peace at the edge of life can soften our own fear of death, or help us make peace with a loss, and that is a gift whatever you believe. If that is where you are, you may also find comfort in the Divine Encounters podcast, which gathers many such accounts in one place.
God Is Endless Love
Ana closes with how she knows God. “God is truly an endless love and compassion and sweetness,” she says, and anything good that we know. He is so sweet and awesome, a loving God to all of us. He loves all mankind. We all have different journeys and purposes. As she puts it, “each one of us is unique.”
Questions to Sit With
- Ana was surprised that a voice cared about something as small as yogurt on her rice. What small detail of your life might you be overlooking as meaningful?
- She says she accepted the unthinkable when she remembered her children were in good hands. What helps you let go when you cannot control the outcome?
- She found it hard to stop thinking, then laughed at herself. Where could a little more patience and humor help you today?
Sit quietly for five minutes today. If you notice you are thinking about not thinking, smile and begin again. Then do one small, ordinary thing with full attention, like making tea.
Spiritual Takeaways
- Ana says God cares about every little detail of our lives.
- She describes a voice with patience and a sense of humor.
- She says she found peace in letting go when she remembered her children were in God’s care.
- She says the presence she felt was love, compassion and sweetness.
- She believes each of us is unique, with our own journey and purpose.
Please enjoy my conversation with Ana Christina.
Guest Links: Connect with Ana Christina
Listen to the Episode
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Go Deeper with NLS Mastery: Beyond the Veil
Ana’s story raises the biggest question of all: what truly happens as we pass? Julie Ryan, a psychic medium and medical intuitive, takes you beyond the veil in Beyond the Veil, part of NLS Mastery. Watch the course trailer below.
Frequently Asked Questions
Who is Ana Christina?
Ana Christina was born in Alexandria, Egypt, grew up partly in Canada and worked as a chief financial officer in California. She shares her story in this Divine Encounters episode.
What happened to Ana Christina on January 8?
She says she had a vision while driving to work that someone in her immediate family was dying, and she thought it was her younger brother Steve. She left work early to prepare to travel to Egypt.
What did the Holy Spirit tell Ana?
She says she heard a voice in her mind that she recognized as the Holy Spirit. He told her to be quiet about what was happening, and that it was not her brother but her.
What was the story about yogurt on rice?
She says the voice told her to turn around and get plain yogurt for her rice, which was her favorite way to eat it. When she wondered why he cared, he answered that he is in every little detail of her life.
How did Ana accept what she was told?
She says she was reminded of a dream in which Jesus walked with her and her two children down a meadow, holding all of them. When she realized he had her children, she was okay with letting go.
What was Ana told about her future?
She says the voice told her she would go on a journey and be back to be his ambassador.
What happened when Ana shut her eyes?
She says a bright light filled the room with a presence she understood to be God the Father. A window shook, her heart palpitated, and the process stopped when she got scared.
What did Ana mean by screwing up her death?
It is her light-hearted way of describing that the process stopped when she got scared. She says the voice told her to relax and try again, and that the second time she stayed calm.
How did Ana feel as the light returned?
She says she had tremendous peace, that the pain stopped, and that she could breathe again.
What does Ana say about God?
She says God is endless love, compassion and sweetness, loves all mankind, and that each of us has a unique journey and purpose.
What is a near-death experience?
A near-death experience is a profound personal experience connected to death or impending death, often including a bright light, a sense of presence and deep peace. Our complete guide to near-death experiences explores what people report.
Is Ana Christina’s story a near-death experience?
Ana describes a vision, a voice she recognized as the Holy Spirit, and then a bright light, a presence and deep peace as she believed she was passing. We share it as her own account, alongside other near-death stories.
Where can I listen to Ana Christina’s episode?
It is Divine Encounters Episode 049. You can watch it above, listen on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, or download the MP3.
Sources and Further Reading
- Near-death experience, Wikipedia: an overview of the common features researchers describe.
- Holy Spirit in Christianity, Wikipedia: how the Holy Spirit is understood in Christian tradition.
- Coptic Orthodox Church, Wikipedia: background on the Coptic Christian church based in Egypt.
- anachristina.net: Ana Christina’s official website.
- 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: free, confidential support in the US.
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: confidential support for anyone in a controlling or unsafe relationship.
Keep Exploring
- complete guide to near-death experiences
- what a near-death experience is
- what precognition means
- a Muslim woman encounters Jesus and receives a message
- a woman has a divine meeting with Jesus
- a woman meets Jesus and hears what he told her
- a woman is given a choice between leaving her son or returning
- Browse more free masterclasses and the Divine Encounters podcast.
Follow Along with the Transcript
Alex Ferrari 0:00
Tell me what your life was like before you died.
Ana Christina 0:08
I was born in Alexandria, Egypt, migrated to Canada around seven years old, and then my father took us back to Egypt when I started being 12, just for us to learn our culture in Asia. There I was having challenges with the language, the Arabic language, my education was English and French, so my father hired a tutor, Sam, who we ended up falling in love, and I went back to Canada, but we stayed connected, and about four or five years later, we wanted to get married, and he proposed, and my father said over my dead body, and even though he liked him, Sam was Muslim, and I'm a Coptic Christian, and in Egypt, that's from dawn, it's like you just don't marry a muslim. So I knew I had to move on with my life. Came to California around 24 years old, met and married Paul. Paul kind of courted me, swoop me off my feet. We got married. It didn't take long to realize that he was a narcissist, but at that time, we that language wasn't even in my vocabulary. We didn't have internet. We didn't understand narcissist characters. It was He was very selfish and critical and argumental about everything, and broke my spirit and made it. It was always my fault, and he always threatened if I tried to leave, like once he said, in front of people, he would hire a sniper if I would hire a divorce lawyer, he would hire a sniper because he would lose his mind, and no Court will hold him accountable. So that was his logic, and I really believed he would do it. I believed he would snap and do it. I did have two beautiful children from Paul Colleen and Andrew, but it took about 13 years to finally be able to get out and be feel safe. And hired a known nonsense lawyer got me a restraining order, and Paul was out of my life. Then out of nowhere, Sam calls. We hadn't communicated for about 25 years. He calls, and I end up meeting him in Egypt, thinking that my heart is guarded. I'm not looking for any relationship. I was born again at that time, I didn't want to remarry, but once we met, all guards went down, and we fell in love again, and he was what I was looking for. I was very vulnerable at the time. Paul was very cold, just not a good marriage, and we ended up getting married. It didn't matter at that time that he was Muslim and I was Christian, because I saw the Christian, the Coptic one treated me really badly. So I thought God sent me this gentleman, and we got married. Lived in California. I was the breadwinner because I was the chief financial officer. Sam didn't have the language, so he was more of a stay home. I supported him. I supported his children in Egypt through medical and dental school, and we lived a good life. And then some red flags happened, and I started seeing our account being depleted. My Account was always NSF. I was making a lot of good money, and we were living from paycheck to paycheck, and just things were not adding up. So these red flags caused me to start like reevaluating this and deciding that we need to divorce. And we finally agreed on an amicable divorce that we filed in December, 2008 I thought he's going to change. Let's pray to change. Went to all the priests, the bishops, everybody at church to help marriage counseling, everything because of the kids. I didn't want to divorce. It's not something we take lightly back then and also in our community. But he could never change. He was just who he is. It was december 2008 that we filed for the amicable divorce, and then he asked me that he wanted to stay in the house, in our place for about three weeks until he finds another place. And I agreed I didn't want to throw him out. So about it didn't take long after we filed that that I started feeling sick and my whole body. Body was aching at a level that I you know, I have fibromyalgia, but my body didn't feel like this before. It was like a bus ran me over, back and forth, back and forth, like it wasn't just you wake up with that. The worst part was the headaches. I started getting these headaches that they didn't go away, and they were so excruciating that just blinking would hurt, just like I would try to stay, either just stay my eyes shut all day, or try to keep it open. And I asked him to take me to urgent care, and he wouldn't. It took like I was suffering with this for about a week, and then finally, took me to Urgent Care. Urgent Care, they didn't run any tests. They said, Oh, you're probably coming down with the flu. Gave me painkiller and set me up so the painkillers helped with the aches and my body. Then Sam started giving me his blood pressure medicine. Now, I didn't have blood pressure, but he started giving me that, and somehow the pressure in my head started going down, and I was able to function again, aching, but not debilitated. So this was year end. I'm a chief financial officer. Year End is the worst time to be away from work. And I was gone for about like two weeks or so, and then finally I said, I need to go in. I need to take care of things. And January 8, as I was driving to work that morning, I got a vision. I never get visions. I'm not a person that get visions. And all of a sudden I'm seeing this vision, and in it, there's somebody dying in my immediate family. It's like it's death. And I see my brother, my older brother. I see my two sisters. I don't see my younger brother, Steve. And Steve was born mentally handicapped, and he was actually the reason we came to Canada, because we were seeking better health care for him. And I thought this is a warning from God that something's going to happen to Steve and I need to go see and I remembered, like a year ago, my mom was ill, and she was calling for me, but I had a major project that I was in charge of at the company, and I couldn't go. I kept delaying going until I finished the conversion, and the day I finished, and it was a great project, I call up to tell it was her 80th birthday, and I called her up to tell her I just booked my ticket, and they told me she had gone into a coma that morning, and she never came out of that coma. So that was the biggest regret in my life, to put work before family. So when I got this vision of my brother. I didn't want to take a chance. I felt God is giving me a warning. And I went to the office, arranged everything so that I can leave. I told him I have to travel. I called Sam, told him, my brother is ill and I need to go to Egypt. He goes, Okay, and I said, this was Friday. I told him, I'm either going to leave Saturday or Sunday. I'll let him know. And I started my meetings with my subordinates, trying to organize things, trying to determine what I'm going to take with me, and so forth. And as I'm meeting with everybody, my head now is starting to hurt again, and I'm holding my head like this and my elbows on my desk, and I'm holding it tight so nobody like I don't want to show the pain, but somehow I felt a power telling me, leave everything. Stop thinking now, go home, and I leave, and I drive to Irvine, and as I'm walking out and walking to my condominium, I hear this voice. It wasn't an audible voice. It wasn't an outside it was a voice in my mind speaking to me.
And immediately I recognized it was the Holy Spirit. I always connected with Jesus. That was an easier connection, you know, God the Father, but I really never got the Holy Spirit. I didn't understand it, so I ignored his presence, or I just didn't get him. You know, it was to me all I can see Holy Spirit, a dove flying. But no, real concept of who he was, and he starts talking to me, but immediately he tells me to shut my mouth like I am, not to reveal what is happening right now. So I continue walking up the stairs. Sam opens the door and asks me, are you. You leaving tomorrow or the day after? And I looked at him and I said, I don't know. I can't think right now. I'll let you know tomorrow. That was it. And the Holy Spirit tells me, like I was standing there, the counter is in front of me and the refrigerator refrigerator is behind me. And he goes, child, turn around and get plain yogurt and put it on your rice. And I'm going come again like you care about the yogurt I put on my rice. It was such a trivial thing to do. It was hard for me to understand that he cared about that detail. And actually, that was my favorite way to eat rice. In Egypt, you put lean yogurt on rice. So I said, you care about the yogurt on my rice? And he said, Child, I'm in every little detail of your life. When I heard that, I felt like a fool, and I took my plate and I sat on the couch and I started eating it, and he's talking to me, there's dialog, and I remember he cracked a joke like he had such a beautiful sense of humor. I don't remember the joke. I wish I remember. And I went to my bed, I kiss my daughter Good night, and got into bed, and I'm lying there and just wondering what's going on? And he says, child, it's not your brother, it's you. I went to bed assuming I'm gonna wake up in the morning. We never went to bed thinking I that might be my last breath. And when he said that, I wasn't ready, I wasn't ready to die, all I could think about is, my daughter. It's gonna wake up in the morning, and that broke my heart. That was heavy. I just It broke my heart to know that the pain she's gonna suffer, and I'm just not accepting it, but trying to, trying to accept it. Then he reminds me of a dream that I had several years ago, where I dreamt of Jesus, and it was Colleen, Andrew and myself, and we were walking with Jesus down this beautiful meadow, and we were all holding his waist, and we're all laughing, and he had his arms around Colleen and Andrew. They, each of them were holding him from the waist, and he just had them. And I am with them. And I was always puzzled. I remember when I woke up that day from that dream, trying to understand, how did the three of us walk down and are holding him, and we didn't trip on each other's feet, but that night, as he was reminding me of that dream, it was like, you're there, but I like I was going to be there in spirit. And when I remembered that dream and realized that he's got them, I was okay with letting go. I was okay. I said, okay, like they're in his care. Then I was fine with that, and I accept the fact that it was me. And then he goes, child, you're gonna go on a journey and you'll be back to be my ambassador. And as soon as he said that, it was like, oh, no, that's not a big deal, that I can do that. It was ambassador the Most High God, so it's great. So I said, Okay, well, I can do this. What you want me to do? And he goes, Shay, I need you to stop thinking. I'm going what? Stop thinking, okay, I can do that. And I tried to stop thinking, but you'd be surprised how difficult it is to stop thinking. I kept trying to shut down my brain, but I kept wondering, did I stop thinking? Am I still thinking? What's going you know, like I kept tricking on my own thoughts, but he was so patient with me, and I finally got to that spot where I stopped thinking, and I laid there, and he could tell that I stopped thinking, and he goes, Okay, child, I need you to shut your eyes. And no matter what happens, do not open I said, Okay. As soon as I shut my eyes, a bright light came into the room, a light that I've never seen before, but it felt it wasn't just a light. It was a presence. And it was a presence I felt of God the Father. It was a higher power. And immediately the window to my right started shaking, and it felt like an earthquake, but the windows started shattering like moving, and then my heart started palpitating, and started slowly. It was simple palpitation, but then it got stronger and stronger, and as soon as I got scared, the. Whole process shut down. My heart stopped palpitating. The window stopped shaking. The light turned off, and the process stopped. I just screwed up my death. And he goes, he goes, try this one. You can't screw up. I just need you to relax more. And I said, okay, okay. And he took me through the process, and I started it again. Stopped thinking, and as soon as I shut my eyes, the light came back, and I felt that same presence. And this time, because I knew the process, I didn't get scared. So I kept going through it, but it kept getting stronger. Like I thought, This is how you die from a heart attack. Like my heart is just in it's gonna explode. And I had tremendous peace. And then the pain stopped, and it was peaceful, and I could breathe again. And then I realized the pain was gone. God is truly an endless love and compassion and sweetness and just anything good that we know. He's just goodness. He's so sweet and awesome, loving, loving, loving God to all of us. He loves all mankind. We all have different journeys, different purposes. There's only one. Each one is used different. You know, each one of us is unique.
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