Top UK Psychic Nicky Alan REVEALS WHY She TRAGICALLY LOST Her SOULMATE; SAW His SOUL LEAVE Earth!

Alex Ferrari 0:00
This episode is the episode that anybody who's ever lost, anyone close to them needs to watch.

Nicky Alan 0:06
Loss is the biggest, profound silence that you will ever face. And I knew that they were going to take me through a death process, but keep me alive. But I was actually brought out of my soul, and I was watching myself, and I could feel Darren holding my hand next to me.

Alex Ferrari 0:23
I'd like to welcome back to the show returning champion Nicky Alan, how you doing Nicky?

Nicky Alan 0:39
Returning champion, I feel really, really important already. Thank you for having me back, my darling, darling Angel, and I, just before I even forget, I would just want to say Happy Thanksgiving for tomorrow. But this almost we go out late, won't it?

Alex Ferrari 0:52
Yes, it will. We already see a Christmas tree in the background. We know that this is a holiday episode.

Nicky Alan 1:01
There's a bit of a clue there,

Alex Ferrari 1:05
But I appreciate that. So you know, for everybody who doesn't know, you went through something so horrific and so painful that nobody really ever wants to go through it, and you went through it, and we'll talk about that's what this episode is about. It's about healing and about how you deal with losing, losing your soulmate. Essentially, this is a very unique episode because I have no notes, I have no questions. I have nothing other than allowing the universe to guide this conversation, to help heal not only you, but anyone who's watching. It to be a cathartic experience for people who've lost somebody, and I know that's what your intention was when you reached out to us saying it's ready. You were ready to come on and tell your story and try to help everybody around. So take, you know, honestly Nicky, take it away, and we'll kind of go from, you know, we'll, we'll kind of see where the flow takes us. But tell everybody, if you what happened, and as much as you want to say. And let's, let's get into it,

Nicky Alan 2:13
Ofcourse, you know, I never thought I'd be doing this. I knew that I would reach you at some point, because I feel so safe with you. Your energy is my energy. And I started for my own purposes, because being a bereavement trained police detective looking after murder victim families and rape victims, I knew the 3d way on how to heal and grieve and recognize it. So rather than write, because I just didn't want to write, I started doing these videos to myself so that I could look back see how I'd healed, how I got on. And then my sister said to me, do you know what? You should be putting this out there? You should be putting this out there to your tribe, on YouTube, on your channel, because I think it's going to really help people. I thought, Well, nobody's you know, want to going to want to know. And then I put them out. It absolutely just went like, sort of viral. Do you know what I mean? People were emailing in their 1000s, saying, This is helping so much. Please keep doing them. So this is the reason why I wanted to expressly do this in your beautiful studio. I wish I didn't opposite you, but we can't have everything. I will be next year. I'm ordering it. So let me just take you back to the beginning, because, Darren, if you any of you have read my book, me myself and I you'll see that I went through catastrophic loss back in 2012 after a road accident. I was five years in bed. I had a brain trauma injury, and I lost everything. I was homeless, and I had a massive reawakening that changed everything in existence I could possibly imagine, predicted by my dad in the spirit world. And he said, you're going to be in this deeper level of understanding you need to because you need to be able to listen to the universe. So I'm like, right, okay, so I clawed my way back, and then I literally had a roof over my head for the first time when I was living in Devon, which is like the south side, the Coast side of England. And I thought I've made it, I've done it. I've bought myself back to the end of me myself. And I don't really want to do a spoiler, but it's all very positive. So I thought that was my main karmic type, perhaps to a previous life that I'd gone through, been on, literally on my butt, and dragged myself back with the help of angels and guides and miracles. And then I walk into a garage, because I don't know if you call them MITs out there, I think you call them something different. It's when you have to get your card checked to make sure it's safe, and you get a certificate,

Alex Ferrari 4:33
Oh, yeah, yeah, like an admissions test or something along, yeah, yeah.

Nicky Alan 4:39
So I walked into this garage, having really just recently moved into the area. And of all the garages, it's like Humphrey burger, of all the bars into this garage in the world. Man just popped around the he goes, Hi, can I help you? And I never thought it existed, but I literally looked at him and it was like a bolt of recognition. It's like I'd known him for 1000s of years, even to the extent when it came further forward, he was holding a cloth, he was wiping his hands, and his index finger was crushed, and he didn't have a noun. It's exactly the same as what my dad had done with machinery. So he had the same finger as my dad, which I thought was a bit weird, and cut a very long story short, I spent two hours in there just telling him my story. While he was checking my vehicle out. I was just hoping for a pass, to be honest, a pass on my vehicle. And He then started texting me after I left the garage, and my girlfriends were like, it's a bit weird, you know, he kind of did I said there's something like really deep, really kind of almost carnal. There this connection and again, very long story short, I had literally put the front of my house up as my Facebook profile. He didn't know my address, and I was kind of just, he was really pursuing me, and I just didn't know what to do, because I've been, like, celibate on my own for years, obviously, during my time of being, illness and my awakening, and he literally went on Google Earth and spent hours. I don't know if this is freaky or romantic, but he literally found my house on Google Earth and turned up on my door and knocked on the door. He was shaking. He goes, Look, I don't know if you're going to think I'm like or I just cannot be without you. You're in my mind, 24/7, and you know when you've met your soul mate, because there's that jolt of recognition. And now and then you'll you'll see them, that you'll see through them, in them, within them, and you suddenly get this deja vu moment where you've not you know that you've known them for 1000s of years. And I said this to him. He was quite skeptical when we first met, he had come from a very toxic 3d family environment. His ex was a very narcissistic, bitter woman who didn't want him to move on, and so he was estranged from his children. His family were estranged from him because they couldn't stand the exit was a whole mess. And in normal Empath style, you think that doesn't matter. But do you know what it does now, if I ever meet anybody again, because it was, it was the only problem in our relationship, not a problem. But I could see the pain that he's, you know, his daughter, ignoring him and not allowing to see the children. Because when you break away from a narcissist, you're not allowed to move on unless they let you. And so we had this kind of haunted past in in the background. However, this didn't stop us. Well, I can, I can only. And you know, lots of people are going to acknowledge this, because the people that watch this amazingly fantastic channel are older beings, and they they recognize soul mates, they recognize that connection, and they also recognize the rip it takes from your soul if they go home before you. And so we were in bliss. We traveled as much as we could. A lot of you, if you've watched me, would have seen him sitting next to me with his handsome, beautiful smile. We met you, Alex, and it really was a massive impactive thing that everybody just instantly fell in love with him or with my followers. So we then started Fifth Dimension gift, where, because he was in pain, working in the garage. And I said, look, let's do this. Let's, you know, you create all the crystals you provide the spiritual gift where any of the synergy of us working together was perfection and we were in bliss. So I used to say categorically. Sandra, thank you for giving it. Are so happy ever after. He was miserable most of his life. We found each other, and everything was beautiful, and that's how it should have been happy ever after. So we decided that we were going to have a holiday. It was very impromptu. The weirdest thing though Alex was that about three or four months before, I felt uneasy and I didn't know what it was, and one of my friends had even said, I think there's going to be a death around you, because she's an amazing astrologist. And I'm like, right bearing in mind I was in the police service, loads of police officers, and mostly going to pass and I, I was, I just lost Teddy. So I'd lost my two fur babies me, and then I lost Teddy, my second fur baby. They were my earth angel. So I was really in not a good space with that. So we went away for three months of Spain come back. And I literally was like somebody possessed. I had to clear the house. I had to change the furniture. I literally went through everywhere, everything, either went to charity shops or, you know, down the recycling place. It was just madness. And he goes, What is wrong with you? I don't know. I think we're moving. He goes, We're not moving. We may be finding a property abroad and we'll have two homes, but we're not moving. He goes, I don't get this. I said, I'm not going to be here, Darren, we're not going to be here. So I had this going on, but I thought it was just me trying to cope with my loss of Teddy and Mia. And anyway, we decided to have this holiday because he was quite tired, so was I. So let's have a holiday, because I've got big things coming up. I need a break. So we went away. And also during that period of time, I kept saying to him, you've got really toxic, you know, family round, he bumped into his door, you know, about nine months before, and. She was, you know, reading him in, reading him out, agreeing to talk to me, then not talking to me. And it was typical narcissist traits working on him. And it was, it was heartbreaking to see, and he was aware of it, but he was talking to her. He'd, I'd encouraged him to connect with his siblings, so he kind of had relationships with them. They didn't really care for me, but I didn't care, as long as he was happy again to go empathy, isn't it? So we went away, and as I said, you know, in a couple of months before, I kept saying, sort your affairs out, you have got dysfunctional family. I said, you need to make a will. You need to have your it doesn't even matter if you want your money to go to the cat's home, whatever you want to do. I said, we really need to sort this out, because otherwise I will be hung, drawn and quartered. And I kept saying it all the time. And he kept saying, Nicky, well, wait till we get back from the holiday I've been so busy with, you know, fifth dimension was a massive success, our spiritual gift where shop. And so he said, Listen, you know, I saw that when we get back, also we were going to, it just opened the business. And this is all relevant for what I'm going to tell you later on, because it's important to understand how to navigate pain loss with toxicity and hate and evil as well. So what happened then is that he said, Look, this is what we're going to do. We're going to start retreats. So he said, we'll come back and then we'll make an umbrella company covering everything together, and it literally was going to be our plan for the future, our plan for our retirement later on. I was never going to retire, though we know that now, and that was it. So let's have a holiday, and then let's get real, back into work again the second night. It was really weird when you look back in hindsight, you know, because his favorite thing is steak and shrimp, and that was available. We're in a lovely hotel, and the steak and shrimp was available as a main meal. And so had that. And then he said, You won't believe this. Says chocolate Frito. So he had those his favorite dessert. Then we went to a table 111 now I'm going to do a video of this at some point, because our number was 111 11 was massive, and I know it was because I haven't seen it since. I haven't seen 111 since, but even the hotel room number we're in, everything was 111, and so I knew there was something significant about that as well, but I didn't know what it would be. And again, the conversation came up, and we even we don't drink a lot. So I said, You know what? Let's have a little treat. Let's have our tea and Maria and Bailey's. It was our holiday treat we used to have. So we sat there and I said, I'm really sorry to bring this up to on holiday so, but Darren promised me, when you get back home, please sort your affairs out. It's really important. And please, you know, let's get the business how it should be, with all our names legally done. I know you did it out of, you know, swiftness, but let's get it also. It goes, yep, I promise you, the day we get back, I'm going to go to the solicitors and sort everything out. And I said, you know that your family will never talk to me. They will push me aside. He goes, I know that. And he goes, and you'll go to Faye, which is one of my oldest friends, and I'm in Faye's house now.

So that was that the following day. He said he felt a bit sick, but then I said, it's mostly because we had tear marine failures, because we weren't used to drinking, and you just don't think do you?, because at the end of the day, you can imagine, and everybody will do this, you replay. It's a natural part of grieving. You replay the event. Could I, should I, would I? Why didn't I stop it? Why didn't I sense it? It's because it was meant to happen. So we went down to the beach. It was a beautiful, glorious day, and we're in the water, and I can see him starting to panic, and he's a really good swimmer, and I thought, This isn't right. And then he went down, and I literally grabbed hold of him. There was someone else there who came across to him, grabbed hold of him, pull him, pulled him up, put him on his back, and straight away, I knew he'd gone. I just His eyes rolled over. He had cynosis, and he'd had, I know, a catastrophic heart attack, and this is where the 5d kicked in. Because I then, you know, I know, because I've been with hundreds and hundreds of trauma victims as a detective over 20 years, and you normally just shut down. You don't remember a lot about it. But I was actually bought out of my soul, and I was watching myself, and I could feel Darren holding my hand next to me, and then as I was trying to bring him up, how can you do CPR on someone in the water? So I was screaming at the other man. I said, close his nose, blowing. His mouth, blow his mouth, keep blowing. And I was screaming, and then you get everybody phones out, recording it. Nobody helped us. The closest place to go were these rocks, rather than go back to the beach. So I'm going, don't leave me Darren. But I knew he had because I then saw it. Everything went Misty, and I knew that they were going to take me through a death process, but keep me alive and show me what happens. Because I know I'm here to go through this, to show everybody else and tell them what happens, and to bring some sort of peace to it. Because it all went Misty, and I thought, this is, you know, I was trying to pump his chest, but he was going on this. I was trying to lift him up. And. And it was all Misty. And I thought, perhaps it's a sea fog. You just have these random thoughts. I thought, Oh, my God, no, it's Azrael. It's Israel. And then I saw this glittering gold, and it was Gabriel. And I remember thinking, What are you doing here? No, no, no, no, no, no. You could be a messenger. You can bring him back, make it a near death experience, so I can bring him on Alex's show, and you just do that. And I started thinking of all the people that I would be put, you know, that he would sit in front and go, Wow, yeah, I had this near death experience. So I'm bargaining with my life because I know the angels with me. And I was shouting out to them and telling Darren to hang on, trying to pump his chest, got him back to the rock, brought him up, and there was this lovely man who pulled me up, and then I started the CPR, but I was watching myself do it. It was like I was in a pantomime. I was watching myself do it, remembering all the techniques, and obviously I'm training all of that. And then I was directing everybody what to do his end, even though I knew it gone. And I was screaming at asrael to please, come on now. Don't, don't give this to me. Don't do this to me. And they must have thought she's bonkers, because I was screaming at as Rael and Gabriel saying, no, no, bring him back. Bring him back. And then this man came from nowhere. Someone must have run over to these people at a defibrillator. And then that's when this lady, God bless her heart. Said, Nicky, you need to come away. You need to come away from here. And she sat me over on this rock. And then the paramedics turned up, and they worked on him for an hour, but right in front of me was these two mists. Every time I looked up and blinked in the sun, I had asrari on Gabriel there, and I was swearing at them. I was screaming at them and begging them, begging them not to take my soul mate, because that was our treasure, that was our our gift for going through so much hell in our lives. He'd been through hell with his ex. He wasn't loved, he was abused, and it was just terrific. And they I'd only been with him six years, you know, five and a half coming up for six years, and I'm like, no, come on. You know, people start to stop this bargaining. This is what happens, natural part of grieving. Come on. Now, people have been with each other for 30 years, and to test each other. Don't do this to us. Don't do this to me. I don't want to be your pioneer. That's going to tell everybody how okay it is when you lose your soul mate. Don't do it to me, and here I am doing it. So then the police officer come over. Thank God I can speak a bit of Spanish. So he spoke to me and said, I'm so sorry he's gone. And thank the angels. And I think this is why Gabriel was there to allow this. He must have inspired them to say, Leave her be he was like, bringing messages leave her be with him, because in Spain, we're in Lanzarote, they won't allow you to go with the body or view it. Don't ask me why. So thank the angels. They let me lay with him. And I took his ring off straight away, because I knew, I don't know what I knew. I just took his ring straight away, and I remember as Rael, and I feel the seraphim. I thought someone was playing music. It was surreal. And I think that's Seraphim here. Oh, my God, he really has gone. And they let me lay with him for half an hour, and I just stroked him and cuddled him and gave everything I had to say goodbye and what we've been through. And our time about his transition, to let me know when he was there and they didn't even interfere. It was incredible. And obviously, because it's nice and warm, it's not like he was going cold, it was just the most beautiful thing and the most horrific I've ever experienced in my life. Anybody that's watched the love of their life just drop and die in front of them, and to be in water was horrific. But then I literally then got up and I thought, this is time, and then gave me his ammonite necklace, because I turned him over to the light side, he was now wearing his crystals and loving all of the energy he'd seen so much in the house. So he was very spiritual himself as well. He and Piscean as well, very intuitive, I can't even say intuitive. And they walked me away, um, and I remember getting in the van, and then someone said to me, he chose to be in the water with a love of his life on holiday because he adored being on holiday. Just hold on to that. And I just went, Fu, I'm not holding on to that. So I think these people are thinking she's in real trauma, because I'm talking to these angels, telling them what a holes they are. I'm so mad. And I went back to the hotel, and I was alone, completely alone. I phoned his sister and mother, and I said, Look, please don't tell the ex family yet. You know, he didn't want them to be involved in anything in his life. They did nothing but hurt him. Please don't bring them into this yet. Let's just get him home and because otherwise it's going to start. I just knew it straight away. I know it didn't have to be psychic. I don't think, or perhaps you did, I don't know. So they completely betrayed me. They're on the phone to the daughter, and on the 3d level, she's sending me a thing. So you've got no legal. Rights to him. Keep away from him. It's nothing to do with you, because the family said he hadn't made a will. So they were in in it, because they're thinking, money, money, money. So from that was the 3d that started on the 5d part of it, I literally lost my I literally went into hysterical panic. And they ended up calling a doctor in, and they have to sedate me because I was absolutely beyond hysterical, um, and I kind of, I remember going off into oblivion. And then I saw him. He goes, come here, come here. Nick, he goes, come here. Go. Stop worry. Don't worry. Come here. And he walked me in to this most spectacular, like penthouse apartment, and it looked over at Valencia, which is a place we went to and adored when we were in Spain for three months. And he said, Look, I've set up here, and then you could just see the sea in the distance. And I said, Well, don't stay too long, darling. You know what you do? Guys? Oh, don't nag me already. I know what to do. And he just looked he was in power blue, um, beautifully shaven. You know, all his hair was perfect. He looked wonderful and glowing already. And then I think part of my left hand brain, 3d side, said, we're just making it up. You're just making it up. So I'm like, right. Okay, whatever. Following day I woke up and I was arranging for his mother to come over and my brother to come over, because I just couldn't cope. Fell asleep again. The doctor came and sedated me again, because i My heart was I felt like having a heart attack. The anxiety was horrific. I couldn't breathe. I honestly thought I'm going next with the grief. I honestly thought that. And I asked them, and they didn't reply. So I thought, Well, okay, I better get the doctor again.

Then the physical part of it was just visceral. It was absolutely horrific. So I went back off again, and then I saw him, and he goes, I'm just popping there, okay? And there was this huge, brilliant white light. It was just immense. And I recognized it, because I've seen it so many times when I've taken salt over or seen them shown their transition when they've passed. I know that's good. I said, just go through the light now then and, you know, I'll see you on the other side. Just get there and get yourself healed and get salted. And it's really weird, you know, because it's like talking to someone that's just gone on holiday, and that really is what it was like. So when I was in that 5d environment that that complete knowledge of where the soul goes, and that he literally just left his overcoat. You know that that's what kept me going. But then I was questioning it, and this is the most incredible bit of it, is that I remember coming to again, and it was getting kind of late, and my brother was Jew over, flying over, um, because I was arranging all of his body, and you have to deal with all of the legal, you know, aspects of it. And it was horrific. None of the family helped me with that. No, I was there on my own. None of them even cared about that. And so I then got a phone call from my sister in law, and she said, I've just seen Darren. So I went, Okay, and so she said he was a motorbike. He loved his motorbike. So he she said he's got this really nice black motorbike. He says, his favorite jacket. And I love him. Knew that he bought this jacket, and it was like the love of his life. I went, Okay, she goes. And he's saying, I better go. Is Nikki going to have a go at me? And so she said I saw him walk into the light. I went, wow. Okay. And then about hour and a half later, my brothers just said, Look, I'm on my way to the airport. He said, I've just seen Karen in a vision, because obviously all my family psychic. And he goes, he was in a black motorbike jacket, saying, I've got my best jacket on. I'm going to the lights, and he can have a go at me. I went, what? So it kind of backed up what I'd been seeing. And it was real, because you had two separate sources confirming exactly the same thing. And he was clever enough, because he's learned so much from me, I assume, and in his own, you know, way, right, put on the same clothes, show the imagery of the same clothes to prove it's me. Because otherwise, again, you're in this deep state of grief. You think you know what you know. Perhaps I'm imagining it. And you start going down that road. And then the 3d comes in. So this is the battle you have. Is dealing with humans that are not awake. None of them are awake. None of them, you know, they used to go, oh yes, very nice. They didn't even know what I did, to be honest with you. But you know, if I brought up anything to do with being awake or consciousness, anything at all, they'd be like, Yeah, okay. You know, they were very much ignored everything that I said. So they turned up, and already There was word of, can I have his watch? Can I have this? This is literally why they haven't got him home yet. So that got worse and worse, and then I remember seeing the camera while I was still out there trying to get him home, that they had gone into our business and started removing things. Oh, that looked lovely my bathroom, and I had it all on camera. So they were doing this before I even got home. So I was dealing with that. I know it was horrific. They literally were like little rats. I'd phoned Darren's best friend up to say, can you bring the van back from the airport? I won't be. To drive it. They then got the police involved, saying I was trying to steal the van that had even gone through probate. And on the first day I got back, Darren wasn't even back. I arranged all that, but all they cared about was, we want his car. We want his keys. Want this. They were banging the door down. We want this. We want his clothes. We want this. We want that. And I was just throwing stuff out the door, just, I take it, and in hindsight, I wish I hadn't done that so I had no support. My brother lived in Essex, which is eight hours away from where I was. I had my friends, but not enough for them to go through this journey with me. So everybody that I thought would be there to support me didn't. They wouldn't let me view him, even my GP, my doctor, phoned the funeral director and said, This is crazy. She's got to come to see a partner. Nope, I couldn't get the ashes. I wasn't allowed to go to the funeral. It literally was the ultimate victory, because they didn't want him. How dare he? Move on. So let's give it to her exactly as I predicted, with him, exactly how I predicted. So I had no way of any closure. There was no peace around me. There was no support. I was on my own, surrounded by evil. It's that simple. And in the end, I went to drop some things off. He still had a house that he was renting out. We just sold it, and I thought, I'm not going to their home. I'm going to give them what they're demanding. They wanted his wallet, his money, and I didn't have a lot there. He's, you know, obviously nobody keeps a lot of cash. And I then got another phone call, so you're trying to break into his house. I'm like, I'm dropping stuff. They're demanding me. So he's had the police on my back, even though they it was okay for them to come and kick the door and demand clothes and suits that he didn't have because he didn't know him. They didn't even know what to, you know, put him in a coffin in they had no clue. They had no clue what hymns he would like. He wouldn't like any hymns. Actually, they just didn't know the man, but they wanted the money. And guess what? This is the kicker. The mother's a millionaire. So, so you can imagine low level 3d, you know, so, and this isn't a sob story, I have to make that clear. This is me showing you that I'm sitting here now dressed, made an effort, and I literally am here with the courage and strength to do this, because I have an invisible army and they don't and so what continued from there is, is that Darren would show up and go, is it too soon for me to come and see you? I'm like, is a bit love. But then what he would do, and this was most incredible one as well. One time he turned up and he said to me, I'm on my bike. I went, that's nice. I'm here. I've been threatened out of my own home. I've been living out of a suitcase since the like, about three days since I got back home, I'm living at my friends and my families for support. I can't go back to my home because I keep getting panic attacks. I'm on medication, which I really thought so I wanted to try the holistic way of doing it, but my heart just would not stop beating. I had to go on beater blockers. I'm like, that's nice. I'm sitting here. Your family completely rinsed me. They've taken all our property. They've told me, I've got no right to our business. They've stolen all my stock and and your stock. And I said, so that's nice. You're on your motorbike.

Alex Ferrari 28:12
Good for you. Good for good for you. That's amazing,

Nicky Alan 28:18
Exactly. And he was in Sedona. He goes, Well, you're going to go there. I went, am I? He goes, Yeah. He said, I'm going to the Grand Canyon as well. Went, that's nice. So again, this was dream state. And then the following day, favor on today, we've said, I just drove to Darren last night. He was in a desert, like, somewhere like Arizona, and I'm like, and this is the kicker. I then had a message from a follower on my YouTube channel saying I dreamt of Darren last night. He says it's okay. He had his sunglasses on his back motorbike jacket, and he was in the desert in Arizona. So it was all real. Every single connection that he's brought to me has been real. And, you know, silly things like, you know, I've never, ever, there's, apparently, there's a song called, we will meet again. I sung, and I've never played it, ever on my Alexa, ever. And so I bought one here just so I can remind myself of things. As you know, your mind goes blank with grief, and it keeps flashing up because I got one of the ones that's got a screen. I thought, I'll treat myself. And it kick every morning it comes up with, we will meet again. And I've never played it. It's never even part of my playlist. And then it disappears.

Alex Ferrari 29:25
It's one of those. It's, it was in um, for people listening. It's the end song of Doctor Strange Love, Stanley Kubrick's Doctor Strange Love, when the bomb is going down and they're about to explode and that, and it's like, we'll meet again. And it's just like, this beautiful song. So that's where that move. That's where that move. That's where that song's from.

Nicky Alan 29:43
Is that where it's from? Because I used to say to him, your family gonna do this Boom!

Alex Ferrari 29:49
Well, that's exactly where that movie's for. So now that's now you see the connection.

Nicky Alan 29:56
This is crazy, and this is what we need to look for. And I'm gonna, I'm. I will talk about, you know, the 3d side of it, but, and, you know, I'm talking about as a human, no belief system, no consciousness connected to the universe. And then obviously, five day, you're totally open to everything that's going on. Because, you know, randomly, this tarot reader came up on my on my YouTube, and I'm like, okay, and then she pulled this gem out, and it was the Cat in the Hat. He was obsessed with the Cat in the Hat. She goes, Oh, we've got the Cat in the Hat. And I'm like, wow. And then I thought, I'm just going to watch her. And then the following day, she's, I don't know why I'm saying this, but someone's lost their soul mate, and you're very, very open to connection, and you really need to know he's with you anyway. I don't know why I said that, and she never said anything like that normally. So there was that. And then my sister arranged for me to go and see a medium. Now, what I want to say at this juncture is, and I'm going to take you through what you need to be doing if you're going through this, or I've gone through it, or you're still holding on to it, but I'm just putting you in the moment, and then we'll go into that. But I literally, she said, I don't know if this is too soon or not. And I said, Look, I'm open to it. It's fine. And she said she doesn't even know your name, Nicky, she doesn't even know your name. I said, Good, because I do not want to go in there. She knows who I am. So she got to do is Google me and see all the posts about Darren, you know. And not that I would ever doubt medium, but I wanted to be sure, you know. And all I would say at this juncture is, if you are not ready, or you're in the raw state of grief, put off going to see a medium until you've accepted it, or got to a stage of acceptance, okay? Because I've known people that keep their family alive through me and not accepted they've passed over. But I just thought, you know, as I'm in an R and I thought, you know, I'll go. So when I walked in, the first thing she said was, your mum and dad are here. I'm not surprised, love. I can't believe you lost your soul mate. And of all places, in water, you do know that he was said before he even got back up, don't you know, to the surface? Oh, okay. And I thought I've picked a winner here. She's incredible. And it got to a stage, and I hate myself for saying it, but I was in such shock because she got his name, or the situation, the toxic family, the police, all of the involvement, and she's and I said to her, I'm not being rude, but have you Googled me? Sounded really egotistical. You know, you Googled me. I don't know who I am. And she I don't even know your name. Love, she goes, I know his name, I don't know your name, and it was just, and one of the things she said was or Darren said, he goes, Look, he goes, I know this is horrific. I'm so sorry about my family. I'm disgusted with them all that, blah, blah, blah. And he said, Listen, tell her about a two books. So he said about the two memoirs and and then she said, He's saying that you've got a book that's got nothing to do with your life. She goes, it's a download or something, and it's completely different. It's a fictional novel. And she got and so she said, He's saying put it out. So in his word, I put Earth walkers out. All that to do was press the publish button. And so I put that on his word. And, you know, things like we'd left sunflowers at my house, that someone had bought a bouquet, you know, for me. And I said, just show me that. And then she said, he's giving me a sunflower. All those things that just absolutely nail it to show that he's over there and what he's doing, and he turned up with my dad. He bought my two babies in Teddy and Mia. And so all I'm saying is, is that, you know, we've gone through these witch trials. We've gone through these, you know, trials and hunts and allegations of you just pray on, you know, vulnerable people, mediums of this, mediums of that, but the true essence is without my knowledge, without mediums, without synchronicity and signs, I would have gone downhill, because, literally, the the punishment and the hate and the pain followed me up to here. The police were still finding out to change my number, and all of his friends were disgusted, so we did a separate memorial in St Paul's Cathedral. So what you need to do is if you are navigating toxicity. The best bit was when they decided to try and open up, reopen up our business, and she sent a sob story out, saying, Oh, Daddy wanted me to work with him. Absolute lie. I've got special needs children. She's got one that's got autism, and daddy wanted me to carry on the business, and she used my database to to message my followers and customers with our stolen stock. Probate hasn't even gone through. Oh, my God. They've got all my stuff at the house. They're just literally, I've got pictures of them taking all my property out. It's just incredible. And so that's the first time I showed some rage. And, you know, and I'm glad I did, because I was like, f you know, there's a time and place. There's a time and a limit, but you're now absolutely going beyond that. And so I really let him have it. And of course, the police ended up phoning me again, because, apparently it's cyber bullying, because then 1000s of people then email and say, You should be ashamed of yourself. We know the story of her and Darren, so you've got all of this complexity going on, and a lot of people thank goodness I've put these videos out. My sister was completely right, because everybody says it's really helping. And even the angle ones, you know, I. Yeah, there's spirituality, and there's being spiritual, and there's being in your consciousness, but then there's times when you have to draw the line and defend yourself, and this was my time. That's what you need to gage, because lots of people have written back to me in their 1000s, saying, you know, when I've gone through the the emails, when I can, when I'm clear enough to do it, is that everybody comes out of the woodwork, don't they? Everybody comes out. There's a sniff of money or property, and that's all they wanted. There was no respect for Kim or his wishes or anything. And so part of me stayed in that low energy for a while, and that's when the army started the back pain, the headaches, the vomiting, the sickness, the regular feelings of having a heart attack. And so when this happens to you, this is the time where you either have to sink or swim, because most people, or some people may think, I can't do this. I need to self medicate so they'll hit. You know, the alcohol, the drugs, perhaps have a dysfunctional relationship with someone we tend to need to escape from the horror of what we've gone through. And I, I've also just been diagnosed with PTSD, because I keep seeing his eyes roll over and me trying to keep him alive, so I keep re running that. But it's good. It's like, it's okay, because, yes, I don't want to be in this position. I want him back right now. I want to feel him, touch him, hold him, laugh with him, dance with him. But you know what? That's gone. So what else have you got? So do you choose that black route, the 3d route? And you know, Buddha, it's the most incredible message that was brought to me, and it actually exists. And I it made me go shivery. So Buddha even influenced this message, because I was so full of hate and anger of what they'd done, they'd dissipated, if anything, his memory and his wishes. I was the love of his life, and he and they knew that, and he would never have wanted me to be left destitute, and that's what they did. They ripped me to pieces and some more, and Buddha there was this time. It was just a moment of clarity when he said, Why are you drinking poison, hoping they will die from it,

and it's so right. We allow evil, we allow negative elements of people around us to rent our head for free. And that moment of recognition and that powerful few words, and then I actually Googled it, and it did exist. It exists. Apparently he had actually said that so the masses and I didn't know, because, as you know, darling, I'm not the one who studies or reads up. I wait for source to educate me, and then I say, Hey, I've just been told this. And then everybody goes, Hey, that's been around for ages. I'm like, I didn't know, because I don't read anything unless they tell me to. And so, my goodness, this is right. I need to get in this energy away from their swamp and rise above it. And I need to be in that vibration now to connect with my guides, with my loved ones. And if Darren wishes to come in he can. And so I changed my thought process, my energy, my my, you know, my whole view of everything that transpired, and I turned it into a positive and I thought I'm going to be sitting and I pictured this day sitting with you, showing people that you can do this. You can get through it. It's a choice of the desert or the oasis. It's that simple. You can either drag yourself through the pain and allow yourself to sit with the bottom feeders, and it's very much, again, the essence of Buddhism. You can sit in the mud and the darkness and the filth and see nothing and just be cold and feel unsupported, or you can reach up and go through to the light and be that lotus flower blooming in nature, allowing the sun to nurture you, allowing you to experience that growth, allowing you to experience that peace. And so this is what I did, I and this is, this is the next book, and it's mind blowing. What happened, actually, because every card I turn, I start thinking, right? I'm going to regularly just connect in. It's a very good and gentle way to acknowledge the angel realms, if you're struggling, is to just do a few angel cards. And then that's when you start in the thought processes, visions and feelings and guidance come in and very subtle level when you're obviously, you've got to remember that the depth of your energy at this time during grief is exceptionally low, and for you, for them to try and bring their vibration down, to meet yours, it's very difficult. And so this is when you get the Panic of, why have I hadn't seen them? Why have they not come and visited me? Do they not love me? Have they really gone to spirit world? Is it all real? And it is, but they're there all the time, a bit like ghost. He's always there we don't more, but you can't feel it between this dense, protective energy that your guides are literally cocooning you for you to go through this healing phase. And, you know, I get a glimmer of down at Darren now and then I honor the fact that it's only been three months, darling, you know. And I need to be acknowledging that. And so I start. Did that, then healing sound frequency, and it's so easy. This isn't a big do your homework. This is what you need to do to keep your consciousness raised above 3d. You know, bad people. I just literally started saying, what number do I need? What frequency? And then it was 444, and then I started waking up at 444, until I played it. And then I stopped waking up at 444, and so 444, and then it was 396, and they were giving me all these numbers, and all you do is press play and have it in the background. I then started doing guided meditations for Grief and Healing, because I couldn't create my own thought process or my own visionary journey, so I allowed other people to help me do that. Even did my own ones. I sat in the healing pool of Atlantis and did that. And then obviously, you know, I went into this space, into one of my friends crystal shops, and this sang to me. This is like my little baby at the moment, and it and it just kept that. She had loads of crystals, and it just kept glaring it at me. And in the end, I went, I'm so sorry. I really need to have that. And it's Kyanite, and part of its properties are taking away from trauma and grief. You know, it's very much a throat chakra communication crystal, but one of its main traits is to bring you through horror. And I thought, wow, this is incredible. So I thought, thank you very much. So suddenly, everything started to click, click, click, click, click. So then I was supposed to go to g6 the galactic spiritual informers connection in Denver, and I knew I couldn't do it. And I was absolutely beside myself because I wanted to see you afterwards. And I I was so excited, but I my body wasn't ready. My mind wasn't ready. And I, you know this, like six weeks ago, I would have been this happened. And so they said, You're not ready. Julianas, one of my main soul guides, said, You're not ready. People love you. Do not go to please others, please yourself. So I'm like, okay, and then the magnificent happened. I know that I had to leave Devon. I have to leave that space. It's surrounded by his family. I went back there, and all I can see is loss. Is the biggest, profound silence that you'll ever face, the profound silence in where they used to sit. They used to drink their coffee there. This is where they laid in the bed. This is where they sat in the sun. This is where their clothes are, and you walk into this most profound silence. It's all I can say. It's deafening. This silence of them no longer being there is the most deafening sadness you will ever have to face. And I lasted three days at my home, and I knew that my era was done, and they said, we've got you, Nicky, we've got you. And so I came back here, and I hours away, and I can't face being there. The house is up for sale, and I know that's the end of my era. And every single card that I turn over, every single beautiful, wondrous medium that has the benevolence to bring messages to me says, you know, you've got the 10 of cups, you've got the six of swords, everything to do with success and moving on. Death card comes up every single time, which we all know, well, if you don't, death card is the most prosperous new era in the world. They're like, you've done this. It's done. Forget it. Move on. Go with it, because if you don't, you're going to drag it out. And so I thought, right, okay, I gotta let it go. I've got, I I'm still living out suitcase. I don't know where I'm going to live. All I know is, is that I'm living and trusting completely. I've sent everything over to the my higher power. I've, I've surrendered again. And I thought I surrendered the last time in my story, me myself and I I surrendered again and said, I can't do this anymore. Every time I think, where am I going to live? What am I going to do? How am I going to get money? And how am I going to do that? That's when all the panic attacks start. And so I just went, let go and let God. So that went over. And since then, abundance success, public recognition. So I agree to do the NEC. And I sent it up to Ariel, for some reason, Archangel Ariel, and she's like, like, well, she's based chakra stuff, but she's also like, you know, the plant kingdom, the animal kingdom, weather disasters. And I said, Ariel, I don't know why I'm talking to you, my love. So cheeky. And I said, Should I be doing this. And she goes, absolutely, this will show you the path that you're about to take. And I then got my wonderful friend George Lewis, who I had the honor to meet in Florida a couple of years ago at the G suit conference. He he basically sent me an astrological chart of mine and Darren's, and we were fated to me. We were soulmate energy, and it was a contract that we'd agreed that he would pass in water. I didn't know they were so definitive, these birth charts. Have you ever had one? Yeah. Have you? Aren't they incredible?

Alex Ferrari 44:52
Yeah, I did not. I did not ask when I'm leaving. I would rather

Nicky Alan 44:56
No, oh my goodness no. I didn't ask you. Can you imagine? And he goes, well. You know. And it already been predicted there was going to be a close death around me. And then my friend Blake also did the earth chart and said exactly the same. She goes he was fated to die in water with his soul mate with you on that date, the date added up to 11. It was the 29th

Alex Ferrari 45:14
So, Nicky, let me ask you this question, you know, because this is a question that I know a lot of people watching are, are thinking is the why me? The why me story like, why does this happen to me? And that's on the three dimensional point, yes, but on the 5d space, why do you think your soul and Darren soul decided to make this agreement on the other side for this to happen at this time in your life, what is the lesson that you need to do? What is the catalyst that this is supposed to start for you in this in this time in your life? If you even can, it's so early still, but yeah, if Yeah, because normally you see it five years later, you go, Oh, that's why that happened. But do you have any indication of what it is?

Nicky Alan 46:03
Absolutely, absolutely. As soon as I surrendered, I was like, right? I can either sit and just dwell in the misery and why me? And believe me, there are a lot of why me at the beginning, I was insane with grief, trauma, anger, and it was why me every day. How dare you take love my life, we've both had misery. This is our happy ever after you've taken it from us. And then one day, I was in meditation, and it was literally just meeting Michael and getting healing and strength to and the courage to move forward. So that's all it was about. That's all it was about. And then suddenly, Darren had me by the hand. He was in yellow solar plexus. Energy says, Come with me. And then suddenly I was literally it was like a a cult, a courtroom of different beings. And I knew some of them were angelic. I knew some of them possibly were galactic, and I knew that I could feel the essence, but they were kind of hazy, almost like your picture behind it was,

Alex Ferrari 47:02
It sounds like a council, yeah. It sounds like a Yeah, yeah. It sounds like a spirit Council. That's what that sounds. Near Death Experiences. Talk about that, yeah.

Nicky Alan 47:11
Oh, really. Oh, my goodness. And this is wonderful, because I kind of feel like I've been through a near death experience, but it wasn't me going through it.

Alex Ferrari 47:17
So you had a you had an SDE, a shared death experience. That is an actual thing where you are in the room. Yeah, yeah. I've had experts on the show about it, that you're in the room, and it happens a lot of times with relatives, you know, like a wife or a husband, close family, even close friends, if you're in the room or in the space where it's happening, many times. You are so connected that you kind of are brought into the process. You're never taken to where they go, but you're kind of like seeing the tunnel. You don't go through a life review. You see the tunnel, and that's that's a shared death experience. That's what you had.

Nicky Alan 47:57
Alex, that's the beauty of me not reading and studying things, because when I say things, they're already confirmed, written about, you know, reported by other people. And that's what I love about this whole process. And so thank you for that. It's an SDE, wonderful. Um, so I kind of stood there, and this is about three or four days after my surrender of going, do you know what? Let them keep all of my stuff. Let them do this. Let them do that. I'm done. And obviously Buddha had come in and brought me this poison thing. And so I was like, standing like, what do you want from me? Kind of thing, a bit like that. And then none of them actually spoke again. It was just like, you know, a spirit connection, angelic connection, through that consciousness, through the third eye. And they basically said, you have chosen to be a pioneer, to voice what goes on in the heavens and in the universe and in the galactic realms. You have chosen to come over to what people want to know is going to happen and report back we gave you this amount of time with your soul mate, and you both agreed that he needed to experience what it was like to be in a happy, healthy, mutual, respectfully, you know, environment, relationship, before he went and you were there to show him that and experience, you know, I've my relationships on this planet have been really not very good. And so he was the first person that I felt safe with, who I adored in every single way. We never had an argument ever. It was perfection. And so they said, we've shown you that now, but now you have to come back to your divine path of service. So there was a part of me that was a bit resentful, but then there was another part of me that thought, you know what this happens to people, and they're not awake. How do they get through that? And so they said, You will honor this and you will share it with humanity. And I'm like, okay, so I started doing videos saying this, what happened? And then Juliana said to me, this is the end, though, of your karmic ties. And a lot of people on this planet majority karmic ties, we're going to have to, like, cut them now from previous life experiences, because we knew. To do the transitional work now, because you won't have any more. This is what we need you to do. We need you to show people where souls go. We need you to show what happens when you lose everything. We need to show the strength of the human spirit, the soul, and that it's immortal, and that once you connect back in with us, you will realize that this is a speck of a tiny experience. It's taken place in one incarnation of potentially 1000s of years of survival and acknowledgement and learning and so like, okay, you know, I You gotta accept it at the end of the day, I had to accept that this is part of the soul contract. He honored his and honored mine. And I said though to him, not being funny, though, didn't really want to see you die enough to bring you back. That wasn't great. But then I feel like, if I, you know, and this is going to sound awful, but you know, the human part of me, the 3d part of me, would have preferred someone's like, oh, Darren's had a heart attack. He's, you know, he's dropped dead. That's it, and I'd have to deal with it, but to go through this horror, sorry, people have said to me how strong I am and how you're doing it. I'm not doing it. I'm doing exactly what they gave me the warm up for when I lost my home and lost my whole life in the road accident. Now I've been there t shirt, and so I knew that I had to come to a stage of surrender, let the 3d go, let the people in their swamps carry on doing what they're doing, and me rise. And so they said, watch what happens next. Trust the process. Watch what happens next. So then the next book that's going out, it's already written. I'm adding Darren's story. What losing the love of your life? What happens when they die? That's the next one. And then Earth walkers, two will come out. So they said, put this out there. And I'm like, Do you know what? Because I had a publisher in the first book didn't go too well, you know, didn't really pick the right publisher. So I've been self publishing, and so I'm like, I and then, you know, I watch people, and they seem to be doing everything wonderfully, because I don't really put it out there about me wanting to, you know, reach the masses, and then NEC turns up. Okay, so this, this council said to me, you're now going to go up and up and up, and it's just going to go huge, as long as you heal my body, because obviously I was left within me, and five mile, just as long as you heal my body, I'm going to accept that you've taken, not taken him, but, you know, accept he's in the spirit world, and I've gained him spiritually, you know, don't see it as a loss of gaining spiritually, because every time something happens, I hear him in the back of my head. I don't care if I'm making up or not, I feel it's him, but it's backed up with another, you know, another, sino, synchronicity. So I thought, right, okay, I'm going to trust the process again. And I went to NEC, and it was mind blowing. People were queuing for five hours just to get a hug and get my book signed, the New Earth walkers book, and my workshop sold out. And Watkins book said to me, this is the highest book sales we've ever had, in mind, body and spirit festivals in history. It's a really big event. It's held at, you know, the big events? This was Birmingham. They've invited me to Olympia, and they said, We've never seen anything like it. I had 1000s of people literally follow me. It was so intense, and the love and support and it was visceral, because the people were crying like it was their brother, Husband, Son, friend that had passed because they had seen our connection. They've fallen in love with him as we, you know, started our company up, and they were crying and for me. And then someone I remember saying, I was signing a book, and I wrote, by mistake, collective, because someone said, this is the power of the collective. This is the power of the Aquarian Age that we've come into. And then they kept saying, Pluto Aquarius. I don't know any of that stuff. I haven't got a clue about any of that. And then obviously Faye does. And I said, What's this Pluto Aquarius? Which goes, well, Pluto has just like, gone into Aquarius. So this is a time of, like, you know, science, medical intervention. This is what they told me. And I've told her, she goes, Yeah, that's what it's all about. And the collective, and the power of the collective is incredible, because what was ensuing in the background, which I didn't know about. And this is where you come in. You gorgeous, beautiful man. I love you, and you still look like Colin birth. But I'm not going to carry on saying that. You don't blush anymore. You were like, oh, gosh, did you really say that? What happened in the background, you know? And I I'm not going to get too deep into it, as I will break down. There is absolutely no doubt. I've never in my life accepted anything from anybody. I've had to fight my way for abuse as an adolescent. I've had to fight every single minute of my life for my home, my property. Then I lost it all i clawed it all back again. Now I'm not in my home again, so material aspects don't don't matter too much they do when you have to live a three day life. And so I literally started panicking, oh my goodness, everybody's going to leave me. Nobody's going to watch the channel anymore. I can't face talking to them. I had all that going on, and I literally what I didn't realize in the background, my naughty little staff. They were getting a plethora, literally hundreds, 1000s of people saying that we want to send Nikki a present. We want to send her a card. We can't believe this has happened. We're all devastated, and it was getting too much, and it was triggering every time I got a sympathy card. It was triggering me. It wasn't helping and and then, of course, you're paying the customs for people. It was okay for all around the world, Australia, America, Mexico, Canada, and I was getting all these custom charges, and I'm like, What is going on? And so they decided, without me knowing, to say to people, look, you know, we don't know if it'll go to charity. We don't know, but what we do know is is Nikki can't afford to move from where she is back to her family where she needs to be. It's too expensive, because we're right near London here, and I'm in the back waters on the coast, you know. So it's like I'd end up in a really not pleasant place, which is okay, but I want to be safe. I want to feel safe. And so they said, it's not about money, but we would rather you send a donation, rather than the card, whatever you spent on a card or whatever gift you'd like to give her, then, then please like send it, and God bless you. I think I can't even remember now, because your memory is shocking during trauma. Remember that, guys, and it really is natural. I can't remember if I emailed you, I said I could do the show or something, and

Alex Ferrari 56:21
So this is I'll step in, I'll step in and continue the story from my perspective, yes, because you had no idea about any of this, your lovely assistant reached out to me. And you know, when we heard about what happened, we were obviously devastated, and I reached out to you right away and sent you my love and condolences, and I was here for you, and I sent that information out. And then she reached out, and she's like, listen, we, we started the GoFundMe page. I think it was or something like that, for you, for Nicky, because she's these, you know, she's having a really tough time with Darren's family, and she can't afford this, you know, can you, can you put the word out? And I'm like, okay, sure, not a problem at all. And I and I put it out, and I told, I told this amazing community, the Next Level Soul community, what had happened? You're so beloved in our community. You know, our episodes are some of the top, not only performing, but most beloved episodes, because of you and I's banter and your amazing energy and all of this, it's always such a beautiful experience. I put it out there. And then I just would check daily, and I would go in, and I would just go, oh, oh. Because I think when we got there, it started at like 3000 or something like that. It was already at 3000 pounds when we were done. And I can't, I don't know if it's all of us, but it was a lot. I know we sent a lot of people over there. We were in the 20,000 30,000 world. And I was just so blown away. And I was just like, oh my god, this is so and I'm like, and I, I wanted to give you your space, and she told me that you didn't know. So not to tell you. So we just kept it quiet, and we just, we just put the word out, and the universe took care of the rest.

Nicky Alan 58:11
And God bless you, because, of course, I've never, ever had anybody help me, ever, ever, as I've said, you know, and you're very much the same. We've had to fight our way, hustle our way through life to get somewhere. And they ended up breaking it to me. I can't even bear talking about it, but they ended up breaking it to me and saying, Look, this is what's happening. I'm like, right, okay. And I'm thinking, great, couple of 1000. I'll just put it into his favorite dog charity, you know, where we rescued our babies from, and Heart Foundation, great. No, it's bit more than that. And I went, What have you done? And and I was really angry to begin with, because I felt mortified. And they said, Look, you know, people were sending so much stuff. We said, it's easier to help you to move in a material way, get where you need to go. And people were happy to do it. We didn't beg. We didn't do anything. And we spoke to it, because I went to Alex, and then the rest of it, and then when I saw it at 40,000 I went, No, shut it down. Now they went, Nicky at the end of the day. This is a collective working for you. This is exactly what the count, you know, because I said about the council and everything, and this is what they were talking about, the the power of the collective. And I went, No, no, no, no. Shut it down now. No, no, no. And so then I changed it into a GoFundMe for his animal charity. And he adored his dogs. He adored our babies. And so I changed it into a charity. I was mortified, but also that's the power of the collective, and what you give out is what you get back. So if I'd carried on drinking that poison, if I'd carried on sitting in that 3d and chose wine and self destruction, none of this would have happened. I would have completely blown the. My career, my life, my belief systems, my knowledge, it would have gone from there. And so really, in effect, we have this yin and yang thing going on, and I would have allowed that to overwhelm me. And so I chose surrender. I chose right, give me what you got then and when that happened. And as I already said, like, as long as I get a little home, I don't care where it is. I don't even know where I'm going yet. And then whatever's left over, it's going to go straight to the animal charities. There's no doubt about it, in the Heart Foundation. But if it, if it covers, because even just moving, I think it's going to be about 10,000 pounds just to move it, because it's eight hours away. And it's like, you know, I haven't got that. So I said, like, bring it in. Then if you and I said to them, I remember saying, Listen, this wasn't at the council, this was another day. And I said, not being funny, I've never asked for anything in my life. Thank you and I and this goes out to all of you. God bless you, and thank you for what you did, because it blown my mind, because it's exactly what the council said. They literally just said, trust us and watch what happens. And so because of the amount of of intense following and the love, I literally took over the mind, body, spirit festival and Watkins book said, we want to publish your next book. Have you got a book ready? I said, Yes, ready to go, so we want to publish it. You need help now, You know, this has just been crazy. You've been sitting for six hours signing books every day, and they said we've never seen anything like it. So we want to help you. Want to represent you. You need management. You need this, you need that. And I'm like, okay, so I haven't asked or pushed for anything, and it's almost like I then get a vision of the council coming saying we told you. I'm like, whatever. And so, oh yeah, my my way of saying it now is in Nicky terms, is right? Darren's up there. I'm down here. Give me what you got, and I will serve humanity. I will go everywhere, anywhere you want me to go. Give me my buddy back. I will tour Australia like I was supposed to. And it's almost like I had a little break, had a reawakening, had, you know, nearly six hours of bliss and fun, and now I'm back at work again. And so I've said to them, as long as I can physically do this, you take me wherever I need to go, wherever it is in the world, I'll be there and do it so that I can then not only do the online stuff, I can physically be there and hug the Love. This is what the new i That's not the word of new age. I don't like saying that this new transitional phase of our consciousness is this is what it's all about. People that you know, fool we've got you. Let us lift you. Let us guide you. Let let us come with you. This collective energy that's coming in, this is going to be normality in years to come. It will be what one's down. Let's lift her. Let's lift him. Let's bring them where they need to be. Not what am I going to get out of it? Or, you know, I'm only doing it because of this. There's none of that going on. There'll be no bargaining. It's pure love. And look what you did, Alex, I adore you, and I just know the first time I saw you, I just knew you were integral part of this soul cluster, energy we've got, and we are. If someone said to us, Tomorrow you've got 30 million in the bank, you can retire, there is no way on this earth.

Alex Ferrari 1:03:09
I've said I've said the same. I've said it so many times. I have $100 million in the bank tomorrow, I could give great now I can get to work. Like that, exactly. Now I can get to work. What can we do? What found? What foundations can we make? What can kind of, what kind of content can we put out there? How can we help humanity like it? Now, I can get to work. That's, that's the way I couldn't. I could care less of being on a beach somewhere, sipping on a beer or something like that. It is not, I don't think I'll ever do that, no matter how much money or resources I have. It's always about giving back. It's always about helping the mission of what we're doing. And I'm so, so grateful for you,

Nicky Alan 1:03:55
Exactly no and for you, because, you know what? Another thing that because now they're literally in my head all the time. I'm living almost 5d and I'm 3d it's like I just have to bump back down now and then to perhaps, you know, change my dress or re register another doctor surgery, you know. And I come back up against, I can't be doing all the three day stuff, you know. And even the fact it helped me, because, you know, normal people need a funeral. Normal people need the ashes. And then I'm thinking, what am I going to do? So I've got this ring, and then I get someone, this beautiful, lovely angel that that sent me, and it's such a clever thing. Look for this, guys, if you're going through this, it's an egg, and it's got all of these beautiful it's got a lovely spell around it, you know, like a gay and spell. It's not like Wickham, but it's got all these blessings in it. And what you do is, is the egg is blessed, and you you place that, you plant that under a plant, and that's a replacement for the ashes. So you put it in the soil, and it organically, you know, creates all the minerals for the growth of the plant, and that's instead of ashes. And then this darling lady, Wendy Kemp, who did. My rings for Mia. And Teddy has said, right. Okay. She goes. What about your shaver? Okay, cos you do need a little bit of something, don't you just under you know the memory. And because he already noted, he'd said to the media that I said about before, and he said, Thanks for Saint Paul's and lighting the candle. So we all did a candle at ceremony at Saint Paul's Church in in Cathedral at London, and even acknowledged that he's seen it all go on. And so she said to me, the medium, she said, Well, Darren said to me, what are you doing putting my T shirt in some angel wings? And I just looked at the media and went, what? How do you know that? And basically, Wendy again, another follower doesn't want a thing. Says, Get a t shirt. Okay, I'm going to use some of his favorite t shirt. So it's where it brushed his neck. Here. I've just cut a little bit of that, and she's going to incorporate that into a crystal and put that in. And she's, she's a silversmith and a memorial jeweler, and she's going to create angel wings. She'll see me wearing those soon. And then she said, go over to shaver. Are there any bristles in it? So there's me shaking the shaver out, and she's putting heads from his bristles into the stone so they can be with me. Oh, that's amazing, you know? And so again, you get that confirmation. And so you worry, you ask, you think, we'll deliver it to you. And this is a message to everyone. It is the most hardest thing to have a belief system in a higher power and think that everything's supposed to be, you know, right in the world, when you lose the love of your life, all I can say is, is that I would have gone down a rabbit hole of complete misery, even possibly. You know, I'm not going to lie to Alex. I will say this, that when I got back to the hotel, and I thought, this is the first time I've shared any of this, if anybody I did say about this once on a video in my deep grief, but I went back to the hotel and I undid, I don't know if you have Tramadol over there. It's a really strong painkiller. The whole palette, I put into my sunglass case, and I sat on the balcony looking at the sea where I just lost him, and I thought, I think I'm done. I think it's my soul contract to go up with him. And I sat there for half an hour looking and just swishing him around, thinking it will take 10 minutes. Nobody's going to find me, because nobody's here. I'm on my own and I'm going to go back home. I think I'm done. I think I'm done. And then something just come into my energy that was like, No, you're not done. You're here to show people how to get through this. And then you think, I don't want to, I don't want to show people my I don't want to do that. Thank you very much indeed. And I'm like, What in the Archangel Michael is going on? Why? Why put me through this pain? And you do become victim mode. And then I just shut the case, put them back in the cabinet. And thought, I'm going to do this because I'm not going to be harming myself. I can't allow my brother to find me on top of, you know, because, don't forget, all my family adored him. So everybody wasn't given the closure. Nobody was allowed near the funeral. It's ridiculous. And so, you know, I couldn't do I thought, well, he can't turn up and see me, got over the spirit world, and then just this calm came over me. I thought, I've got a feeling I know why I'm here. And then the council backed it up and said, You're here. You've you've literally signed a contract to be a pioneer for pain and suffering and to show people how to get through it. It's that simple. And I'm like, right

Alex Ferrari 1:08:18
So Nicky, let me ask you, for somebody who's listening right now, who's lost someone recently, or can't transition out of or accepting was the word you use if they can't accept that it's happened and they might be using a medium as a crutch to communicate with them, or they just can't let go. What advice do you have for those people?

Nicky Alan 1:08:41
The number one thing is, you've got to be kind to yourself every single day. You have to own your feelings. You have to have positive people around you, please, please, don't go to mediums. I know the feeling you just desperately need that last bit of life from them. I totally get that, but it can be more damaging, you know, because there are a lot of people out there that profess to be mediums. Because the the beauty of this screen is our work, Alex, but then the other, the other side of the coin is you got the wrong ends who just want to make the money and say they're a medium. Look at the scammers. You know, I get up to 50 100 scammers a day talking to all my lot, saying that I'm reaching out to give them a reading. Please don't do that. Seek help with your health seek help with your health advisor or, you know, don't, don't diminish, or don't, kind of underestimate your feelings. If you are feeling suicidal, if you are feeling that you can't cope, you gotta reach out. And that's one of my biggest lessons this time around, is reaching out and asking for help. So I would have stayed at home on my own. I know I would have, but I just said, I need help here. I need people to support me. You've got to vocalize every need and want. Get help, get counseling. I'm currently with a counselor again, another follower who said I'm going to give you 10 sessions of counseling. I'm seeing an EMDR person, which is the eye movement to reprogram. Am the replay of his passing. So, you know, just because I am now sitting in that 5d energy, it doesn't, it doesn't mean that I'm not going to suffer. You know, someone said on tick tock, well, you'll see him again soon. What you're upset about? And I'm like, Really, don't be such an idiot. There's some real players in there right now. I'm like, Oh, my goodness. Oh, so you've got to be kind yourself, reach out, be honest, be in your space and do whatever you have to do. But please be mindful if you feel like you are using something else to crutch, using a medium, alcohol, drugs, whatever it is, that's when you need to reach out the most and say to someone, I feel like I need to self medicate. I can't cope. And as I say, you know, I would recommend every single time trying to find a higher power. You know, whatever your creed, religion, belief system, get into your churches, get into the spiritual center, whatever is going to make you feel that you have got someone that's got you an invisible force that's got you more powerful than any human being down here. Half of the battle is going to be won for you. Okay, just, just and then, because once the signs and the synchronicities come in, it's truly remarkable. It truly is remarkable, because you'll start thinking, wow, you know, he dropped me. He dropped feathers for the first six weeks, every single day in front of me, even if I was laying in bed, it was, it wasn't crazy. Oh, sorry, I've kept them in a whole box. And then everything just leads you forward with synchronicity, because they've got your back. And, you know, things like the Kyanite, and then suddenly, you know, one of them put in my head rodent. I never heard of it, you know? And this is this, and this is for grief and trauma and loss. And I didn't even know that, because I don't study anything. I just wait until I know about it, and I tell people, and so they've got you. But if you can't get to that stage because of hate, anger, pain, or you're in a toxic environment, it's one day at a time being kind to yourself and trying to keep yourself away from those negative people and do not drink the poison. Let them be in their own space. And you go beyond that and reach out. You know, I've got, I put the grief program on my YouTube channel, which takes you through the scientific, if you like, or the textbook, what happens when you grieve, and then I give you the spiritual, what happens when you grieve, and then what you can assist you. You know what angels can assist you, what crystals can assist you. And this is what this new book is all about. But you know, you just have to be true to yourself. If you lie to yourself, I'm not drinking too much. No, I'm not doing that. No, I don't feel suicidal. I don't if you do that, you're going to create problems and get in nature every single day, I'm grounding myself, or I'm by Thank goodness. I literally, at the moment I'm a minute from the beach, and so I'm there grounding myself every ceremony, full moon ceremony, I'm out there. This is what I don't want. This is what I need to get rid of. This is what I do want. Please. Thank you very much. You know all of nature is your number one strength and key to your healing. Okay, things like horse Thorn tea, start looking at things that are going to help anxiety, worry, stress, insomnia. At the moment, I'm getting about two hours sleep a night at the moment, and I'm honoring that. I'm not getting frustrated about it. I've started managing to read again because my five rounds wouldn't let me read, and I started reading again. And then I fall asleep. I know you're supposed to say I don't look bad for two hours sleep, Alex, come on.

Alex Ferrari 1:13:28
You look fantastic. You look fantastic.

Nicky Alan 1:13:31
And then this business again, you know, I kind of look in the mirror. And you know, I've lost so much weight because I couldn't eat for about five, six weeks, and I was really weak. And then Mike Fauci said to me, Look, you know, my, one of my oldest friends, he's a top head, you know, hair salon man. And I mean, like, does famous people charges a fortune. He wants to treat you. So I went up to, I went up to, and again, this is all how it plays out. You get what you Oh, yeah, we'll talk about that. Juliana says, talk good. And I will say about that. And so I got there, and then He's slipping away. And I'm like, he goes, haven't finished yet? I'm like, Really, guess no. And then he's slipping away again, finished yet? And then this happened, and I think about Juliana says, Thank you. Julianus has just said about is that the other beautiful transitional phase that's taken place now in the like this aquarium pluton Aquarius and the vowels are thinned. And the other thing that we have to be mindful of is that our karmic reaction because the vowel is so thin now our karmic reactions to our behaviors, thought processes, words come back 1000 fold, very swiftly. So when you give out something, you know, sometimes it takes a couple of years to come back. You know, I'm finding whatever right thought process I put out, whatever worry I put out. Thanks. Done. Or whatever act I put out, it's reciprocated with more beauty and light and positivity than I could possibly imagine. So be very mindful of what you put out. I'm never going to meet anybody again. I'm never going to get over this. I can't believe I'm never going to get over his or hers. You know, she's died. You're giving that out to the to the universe, and it's very strongly reciprocated back at the moment. So it's beautiful if you are embracing, you know, asking for abundance, success, health, wealth, whatever you want to do, but it can be a bit dangerous if you're giving, not dangerous, but it can be a bit damaging if you're forever giving out these negative patterns of thought processes totally natural to begin with, and they'll know that. But as you you know, kind of negotiate and navigate this awful, broken rock path of grief. There is a time where you're going to have to start saying, Okay, I need to be kind to myself, and, boom, something will come in. Oh, my God, I look dreadful. I really need to look after myself. Boom, I'll give you a haircut, you know. Oh, my goodness, you know, if I'm going to be doing this work, I need to acknowledge, here's your book contract, you know, so just try and give out those thought processes rather than a please say thank you for bringing this to me, because I really need this. At the moment, my biggest Panic was me not being able to move back up here because it is extortionate here. I could buy a huge farmhouse with 15 acres of land where I live for a tiny little, really not good flat here. And that's one of my biggest panics. And then what happens in the background, you my gorgeous, wonderful, oh, I can't wait to hug you and give you a kiss. Give it up to the community. Help. Nicky, and I'm never have allowed it. I never in a million years have allowed it. But I want to say now is that if you feel you deserve it, put it out there and say, Actually, I do. I would like this now, please to help me on my path. Not I want to win the lottery, but no, I need to get from A to B. Thank you for the assistance. And let it and leave it and let God

Alex Ferrari 1:16:55
Nicky this. This episode is the episode that anybody who's ever lost anyone close to them needs to watch. It's It's such a beautiful it's been such a beautiful energy here. I'm so proud of you and so impressed with you. Three months ago, this, this, this horrible thing happened to you in your life, and you are out and about. And I know you still struggle on a daily basis. You, of course, will till the day you you transition, but that you are as well put together, and maybe you fall apart the second I stopped recording, I don't know, but this is exactly afterwards you're like, Okay, it's just been fantastic. I guess I think they fell for it. I think, I think anyway,

Nicky Alan 1:17:44
I'm not really at face hours. I'm in a bar. I'm like, yeah,

Alex Ferrari 1:17:48
It's a green screen in the background. But, but that you have been able to be so balanced, so in peace, so strong, so soon after is a testament to you and to the work that you do that and your connection to the other side, to your spirit, to your spiritual side, to your soul. Because this would bring any human being to their knees and keep them there, keep them there for not only months, for years, possibly. And I hope that people watching will see what's possible after a loss like after a loss like this, it's so it's I love that you said that it's your choice on how you move, because you could have stayed on that balcony. Yes, you could. You could have chosen that path, and you didn't, but you chose, you know, you could, or you could choose a path of self destruction long term, that would have, that would have been the short way out. Then you could have done it like I'm gonna go down a dark, dark, dark path. And you could have easily done that, because it's the easy thing, it feels, oh, I can numb the pain, I can drink, I could do drugs, I could do whatever your vice is to to calm and numb the pain, but that you chose the light as a way to heal yourself, and not only and I think this, and please let me know what You think. I think that your intention to heal others, to be of service to others during this time. Helped you in ways that I don't even know if you understand yet, that power can you kind of just dig a little bit into that, because it's such a powerful idea of me, me, me, me, me, me, as opposed to, like, how can I use what I'm going through to help not only myself get through this, but how can I serve others with this? Because you have a platform, you know, you have a place to do this, but even then, just even if it's just volunteering at a shelter, how can I serve others? How can I help others with what. I've gone through Can I speak to people? Can I help people get through this? I think that decision was the turning point. Would you agree?

Nicky Alan 1:20:07
Absolutely, 100% and one of the biggest things that all of those people said over that weekend, last weekend, was, you've helped save my life. You've saved me, Nicky, if it wasn't for you, have helped me. I've helped you, or perhaps we've saved each other. Without you, I wouldn't even be here. And so I literally if I didn't. And again, look at, look at the jigsaw pieces. Alex, right? Because if you remember, the original story was, you know, when was it? Last year I had 200 pound in my account and said, I'm not being funny. You need to get me out there or I'm just going to give up, because this is ridiculous. Nobody cares what I've got to say. I've been doing this for 12 years. I haven't got a pot to pee in, you know, I'm totally skinned. I can't even, you know, get cremation, get Ashley's from Mia, um, my dog, and what the hell. And then four days later, hello, would you like to be on Alex's show like, and then two days later, do you want to come to G stick? And suddenly went, boom, you know? And so literally, if you think about the work that our guides do, they say, right, this is what's going to happen. Darren's soul contract is he's going up on the 29th of August, you know, 2024 so she's going to absolutely lose her Schmidt, right? So how are we going to sort this out? Well, hang on a minute. So we need her to go on and see Alex. She can go to g6 then she's my biggest following is America. God bless you, beautiful people. And it always was prophes that America would be my, my, you know, foundation anyway, that's another story. So they then obviously have said, Right, okay, so your lot had a coffee around my lot around the conference table and gone, right? How are we going to deal with this? But what we're going to do is, is we're going to make sure that Alex sends out a can you come on his show? She's going to get a follow in there, then she's going to get other people to follow up. Then she's going to go to g6 then she's going to get a lovely following, and she's going to see the the karmic or the reaction to what she's given out over all these years, she's clawed her way back from laying in bed in a wheelchair and being told she's never walk again, lost everything in her life, and has got it all back. And now we're going to show that people are going to, you know, acknowledge her for that, because when he goes, if she hasn't got that, she must be go with him, you know. And so my whole purpose in life has been to help. I was a police officer for 20 years, my whole life. I need to help Empath in me anyway, and so to come to that arena where people saying you saved my life. So no, didn't I nudged you in the right direction. You chose to walk that path. I didn't take you there. I said, this is an option, or that's an option. Do whatever you wish you want to do. I'm just here to show you I took that option and look where I am now. And that's basically what my books have been about, what the online presence is about, what the whole weekends and the seminars I do is about, is I'm showing you i This is not me making me feel like I'm giving you the hand of God, but I'm doing the same job I used to do when I was a cop I, you know, used to come in tell the murder victim family their their loved ones been killed. And then I would facilitate information from the hub, the office in the police station, to the family. All I'm doing now is facilitating. I've been promoted. I'm facilitating the hub, the energy, the universe, the source, and I'm bringing it to humanity. It's exactly the same job. Oh my goodness. The the acknowledgement, the love, the support, the amount of people that have literally saved their own lives through just me sitting and having the courage to press record has been phenomenal. I'm reaching hundreds of 1000s of people, and I'm just so grateful for that. That's all I want to do. It's all I want to do. And as you said earlier, $100 million in the bank. Great. I can do arcs for, you know, shelters for for animals. We can run a huge retreat here. We can done a center for homeless, or whatever. That's what I'll be doing with it. Other people be thinking, oh, what should we get first? You know, I know, right?

Alex Ferrari 1:24:15
To me, it's so funny. I don't interrupt her, but it's so funny when you say things like that, because it's so far, so far removed from like, anything, you know, anything that I can even imagine, like, I need a yacht. Why would I need a yacht? Like, like, why it doesn't, it doesn't know any of that stuff. It just makes no sense.

Nicky Alan 1:24:34
It's the same as my channel, right? I'm like, please grow. Please grow. Because I can't wait to be able to start sitting up the money that goes to charity like you do. I'm like, come on, does have enough I can live so that I can get because you have to pay marketers. You have to pay for all of this span, doing what equipment we use, and it's a lot of money a month. And they're like, come on, because then I can start literally doing charity work and doing all this and that, and make it bigger and better, whatever. I don't know, but they do. They're like, Oh, I could get a nice new car. And it's like, as long as mine goes, I don't care. Do you know what I mean? But every single person I spoke to in their 1000s over that weekend, I said, No, you saved me. You gave me the impetus to keep going. And that's what the collect is all about. This is what we're aiming for. And I literally said to so many people that were there, that were running stands and members of the public. I said, we walk into this bubble of love, mutual respect, the Namaste, energy of just accepting each other and seeing each other in our avatars and looking through that. Why can't the earth be like that? But that's what we're aiming for. We're aiming that we don't have to keep walking into bubbles of mind, body and spirit festivals. We're aiming that that will be in our communities. It will be natural to just be in that namaste energy, to be in that. How can I help you? What have you been enlightened with today? What Ascended Master are you working with today? This is what is all going to walls. And I'm a pure example of that to literally a word with the angels on the beach, and we're sitting here now, Alex helping 1000s. That's all I care about. And people don't get it. The 3d people think, oh yes, she's just doing it because they want to be famous, so they want those followers. Don't get it. We have got this drive and passion within us, this absolute, sacral, carnal energy of wanting to reach every soul that's in darkness on the whole of the planet and show them the light, and show them how they can then bring the light to someone else. That is all we're here for us to and all the others that work their ass off to literally tell people it's okay. Let us tell you what the universe is channeling. And this is so wonderful to see all the followings of channelers getting into their hundreds of 1000s now, because they're two layers of mediums now, they're the layers that will stay at just literally bringing afterlife evidence, right? There's those level, and then there's this level, which have gone through an awakening, which I did, that are opening their and expanding their consciousness to the source of the universe. There's two types of mediums at work now, and luckily, I'm going to and it's, it was all in the Prophet. It's like prophecy. This is what I wrote in Earth walkers 10 years ago. The Portal mediums will be the ones that have got that higher ascension to to cut into source and bring it back to humankind. So we are the helping hand. We've got you, and we are using our voice. We're using our personalities. We're using our consciousness in this physical body to tell you what you need to know, rather than you have to meditate in front of yourself, we are facilitating how you can get to that voice. But in the meantime, listen to what they're channeling to us, because this is for all of you guys. What a beautiful thing. How honored am I to do that, and how honored how wonderful we are. And how amazing is Darren to say, Do you know what on my soul contract? I'll go back then, because you need to carry on your work, and I'll always be there with you, darling. And I'll be there when you just drop back again, and then till we meet again. That thing comes up every morning, and then I try and get, I managed to get a photograph this morning because I was awake anyway, and it came up for a few seconds, and it disappears random. And so that's how I have to look at it. And don't get me wrong, you know, I don't want people to think, oh, yeah, because she's all no spiritual and everything, it's easier for her. No, it's not because I've literally had a week of laying in bed completely exhausted, my back spinning spasm, and I've just felt so much pain and grief for the love of my life. It is just incredibly hard, but this is what I live for. I'm now sitting here talking with you, hoping, even if I just reach one person, or 1000 or 300,000 our work has been done, and it's not work a vocation we're showing. This is what happens. It's crap. But you know what? This is how I found my way out of it. Do you fancy giving it a gun? What harm can be done by that? None.

Alex Ferrari 1:28:56
So when we're done with this conversation and we stopped recording, you should go to YouTube and type in end sequence of Dr Strangelove and watch the end, and if you like, if you like, and it'll just be you'll see what, you'll see what the song is and how it's incorporated so beautifully into that film. I'm a big Kubrick fan, so, but that that song, yeah, and I'm a film geek, so I have useless information in my head about everybody ever made, but that that might bring you a little solace, because you were like, Oh yeah, end up and the bomb. And, you know that with the all that kind of stuff, it's

Nicky Alan 1:29:35
Video on Tiktok of me actually doing that. And it was, it was almost tow to him, you know your family everything, and it's just again, they obviously knew we're going to have this conversation. I was going to bring it up, and he's been playing up, but you'll never see it again after today, so that he could play that to me through you. So it's another beautiful sign that he's sitting there with us now and bringing us love life, humor a bit of sadness, but at the end of the day, I'll now see him again, and I'll give him a slap

Alex Ferrari 1:30:08
Like you. I know we agreed on it, but Jesus man. And then the second you say, Jesus man, Jesus pops up. Yes. I'm like, no, no, no, not right now, I'm too busy beating up on Darren

Nicky Alan 1:30:25
Exactly. I've had Mary Magdalene, though that was nice. That was unexpected. Mary Magdalene, because I come from the bloodline, Mary Magdalene and she came in about, I think it was just as I got back and I was in so much pain and so tired, and I was in a real because I'm now, I feel that now, you know, it's like, my friend, her her father died a year ago, and they're just clearing the house now, and I'm like, wow, I had to do that on day one, because banging my door down, wanting his clothes, they had no right to them. If anybody's got any legal rights, it's made look what's fighting them. Don't need to.

Alex Ferrari 1:30:55
Can I? Can I? Can I propose a theory that just came to me, yeah. Do you think that the pain and suffering that that family made you go through forced you to grieve faster than you would have been comfortable, because you obviously weren't comfortable doing it, but so they had a purpose in this. It wasn't just, you know, twisting the mustache. I'm an evil person. They might be playing that part, but they were there. Looking back, just from what you're telling me, it seems like they helped you move through this faster, even though it was painful,

Nicky Alan 1:31:30
Absolutely, you know, because the third time the police have phoned, I don't know if it was a real police officer, because it was like, you know, I kind of told him what to do, and it wasn't very polite, because I said, legally, you shouldn't even be phoning me. There's no criminal offenses here. It's complete rubbish. What you're talking about, go away. But I said it rather more colorfully. I'm not going to lie, and I literally, I thought, right, go have my final say. So I just, you know, because I kept battering me and I met out, you know, if I blocked him on one phone, they'd find another phone number to get at me. It was just pure harassment. I thought, well, I need to change my telephone number. And so the last thing I put was, okay, I'm changing my number. I just I can't deal with this harassment anymore. I'm so sorry you feel you need to, but thank you for helping me get through my grief more by creating the anger for me to want to survive. Boom, did that and change my number. So yes, they inadvertently their little What should we do? An extra try and break up made me stronger, and I do appreciate perhaps it did delay because I'm grieving a bit more now, because I've had things to focus on, but I just feel strong. I don't feel alone. They do. I don't know how 3d people get through grief and trauma, especially if you've seen love of your life pass in front of you. How do they do it without a higher power or higher consciousness, or, you know, how do they do it? Do they just say, Oh, they're gone and I've got to get over it. Perhaps they are the ones that go downhill, but I've got an invisible army around me. And literally, I don't want to bring it up again. But when she started, the daughter started this sob story completely lie about her taking over the business, and everybody knew everything had been stolen and nothing gone from probate, and she got hit by hundreds of 1000s of how dare you. You know this is our new email. Oh, hope to get, get your business from Nicky's stolen stuff, and they literally gave it to her. The karmic it took about four hours for the website to go down, and then obviously, I get the call from the place. I'm like, hang on a minute. These are my followers that have sent this. I haven't sent or done anything. I've just told the truth, so crack on. Don't phone me again, because I've done nothing wrong. And so, you know, it's just, yeah, exactly. And again, power of the collective. And this is just a small example of what is how the world is going to be running. You know so many people. Oh, what's coming next? And it's going to be really bad. It's going to be a rocky start by 2032 like we've got 2026 as a landmark, 2032 and we're going to be seeing this so much more. Sorry, you trying to have a go at someone that's in the light army. Oh, big mistake. Let's just wait for the karma, and so it's not waiting for revenge. It's not drinking the poison hoping it'll affect them. It's I don't fancy your chances, because I know now that karma works so much stronger than it ever has on this planet, that everything you've given out, every ill truth, every bit of hate, is going to smack so back, and I feel sorry for them, because they're living in this 3d climate of hate and nastiness. What can we do next? And it's all going to come back at them 100,000 fold, and this is what's and so this is so you know, this is a bit of solace for people that have had this happen to them. It's not about waiting for the revenge or for bad things to happen to them. Let it go, rise above just knowing that if they don't get it here, they've got to face the cherubim chamber. When they go up right, they will be responsible for their actions and words and behavior, guaranteed. So I sit in peace. You mentioned the word peace earlier. I sit in a peace knowing that my heart and everything that I've done has been for the greater good and for me to try and heal. Honor, Darren, they've done none of that. And so all the people that have hurt you guys, especially murder victim families, someone took the love of your life by their own hand. That's a whole another ball game. But if any of the things that I've brought to you today use them, you know, connect with your divine sources, because that is what's going to get you through not drinking the poison and not thinking I hate them. I'm going to do this. Going to do that. I'm going to go to prison for them, and they need to get this. Why aren't they getting hurt? Why aren't they young souls? You know, they're taking all the easy life. They're all material possession, you know, low life people that literally are having an easy ride this time round. But karma is not going to be that easy for them. They think that they can do what they want. The vow is so thin. Now, I really do fear for people that are giving out the evil energy, because it's going to come back so quick. And not only that, the other thing is, as well, is 3d people don't realize they don't have to face this when they go up as well. Can you imagine, you know, disrespecting your father, your your ex husband or whatever, and not giving him what his wishes were, not honoring anything, and bringing so much evil and hate to the love of his life, and then having to face him when you go up, and also Jeremiah on your life review. Oh so

Alex Ferrari 1:36:19
Well. The thing is, yeah, the life review is, is, is one of those great equalizers, because people who even don't believe in a lot of the stuff I talk about friends of mine, they'll say, Hey, I I watched some near death experiences. And that life review thing has really gotten me straightened, man, because I don't want to, I don't want to go through that life review. And it, by the way, it's not judgment at all. No judgment. It's not judgment. But you get to feel how you made other people feel during a life review. So you can learn, learn the lesson, and imagine what you're like, Oh, God, I'm gonna have to deal with that. It's, yeah, Darren. Darren's not gonna be up there going, wagging his, his his finger. That's not the way it works.

Nicky Alan 1:37:02
He's gonna be in Arizona.

Alex Ferrari 1:37:04
He's gonna He's obviously somewhere in the Grand Canyon right now. He's on Route 66 maybe,

Nicky Alan 1:37:12
Always waiting to do it.

Alex Ferrari 1:37:14
Yeah, exactly. So it's a different it's one of those great equalizers, and I think it brings people a little bit sense of solace to understand that karma will do what it's going to do, and sometimes it will happen in this lifetime. But now it seems a lot of things are happening very quickly on both. It doesn't have to be a negative if you're putting out beautiful things 1000 times, that's going to come back to you. And so look at you. Look what happened to you. You were blessed with that, with that, all that, all those gifts and money that got sent to you to help you and your charities and where you are now, you seems to again. You could fall apart the second we stopped recording, but as of right now, you look fantastic. You've got a Christmas tree behind you. You seem joyous. You You do not seem like a person who lost the love of their life three months ago, and I'm so I'm so proud of you for the journey you've taken up to this point, and I'm so proud of you for sharing this publicly. This is a this is something that most people would never in a billion years want to share publicly because of all the hate and the trolls and the things like that that come out from things like this, but that you've done this is a testament to your strength and to your mission to help people. So do you have any final words for people listening that you think or that spirit thinks that they need to hear right now?

Nicky Alan 1:38:37
I feel that please reach the source, whatever it is, you know, whatever source you believe in, whatever's going to bring you comfort and bring you strength. Please try and reach out to something more than you know, the human experience when you're going through this, because it really will get you through and the magic of signs and synchronicities, the magic of how things just plop out in front of you to say, we've got you. This is your path. It's okay. And you know, as I said to you, I don't know where I'm going to live. I'm living out of a suitcase. I don't care, because I know it will be provided. Know that you are provided for and you've won half the battle. And please don't think you know everything's great and I'm fine. I'm not but the fact that I'm here now, sitting with Alex, sitting with you, and knowing this is going to reach hundreds of 1000s of people, I hope it does anyway, that brings me strength, that brings me peace, that brings me so much more than a bottle of wine or, you know, whatever people reach out for when they're when they're in their worst stage of their life, to be able To sit here, even after strip club, I put makeup on, didn't have to do much for my hair, because I've had our top hairstylist. But you know, just things like that, the gratitude, the gratitude, is so important. So try and focus on what you should be grateful for. I'm grateful. Got roof overhead. I'm grateful I've got a long beautiful friend who's literally said to me, can stay as long as you want. On. Look at the things that make you feel good, honor the things that make you feel bad, but don't wear them. Don't wear them in your heart, you know, cleanse your heart, shut. But do as much work as you can to keep yourself in peace, no matter what is thrown at you. Just imagine, this is how I've done it as well. Labradite is really good crystal to reflect people's intentions. So I had it all over me. I was like a walk in Labrador. Weeks ago, but imagine a big rubber wall in front of you, and everything you throw will come straight back in your face so you throw love, generosity, gratitude, hope, belief, all of the positive aspects, knowing they're going to come back of you quicker than they ever have on this planet. But if you have a big load of crap and you throw that, don't need to say anymore. Do I keep positive? Guys, find your source one day at a time, and keep connected to people like me and others that can help inspire you to get you through your journey. Because you will do it. Believe me, you'll do it. Just hang on in there.

Alex Ferrari 1:41:01
And Nicky, where can people find out more about you? Watch these diaries that you were talking about and see your process and connect with you?

Nicky Alan 1:41:10
That you know what just a very quickie. I never do a quickie, do I? But the diaries have also shown me, I now and then I play back to week one of Darren passing and it shows you how far you've come. Okay, so I encourage people to do it just for yourselves. It really is very powerful if you can't think about journaling it, because it's one of the biggest things that council told to do, get it out on paper, write letters to them, talk to them. I did it on the videos. So that's my YouTube channel. Nicky Alan. It's that simple. Just Google. My name's A, L, A, N. I work in memory of my dad in the spirit world, Alan, um, or come to my website that's got everything. But to be fair, if you just put in Google, Nicky Alan psychic or Nicky Alan media, Nicky Alan angels, everything comes up. God lift Google. And Alex Ferrari and yeah, come over and say hello. And you know what I think, what's beautiful as well, Alex, I don't know about you, is you are proof of what you put out there. Because the tribe that follow me, you know, some of them came from America, Ireland, Scotland, Malta, Spain, Canada. They came from all over the world, just for an hour workshop with me, right? Which is just mind blowing. So all I'm saying is, is that they will also reach out to you. I've noticed that if there's anybody that says I'm suffering, they'll, they'll have a whole load of comments, you know, from the tribe from, I call them my tribe, from everybody that's following to support them. And I see that when I now and then when I look, I haven't looked at anything online for very long time, because I've been working on myself. But you see it, don't you? Alex, when you look down, you see people commenting, other people. I did this. Try that, you know? Oh, God, really sorry. You're suffering. Have you thought of this? And so we're also creating a hub of support through the chats and the comments below our videos, which I absolutely love. Sorry, I was just digressing then. So, yeah, you not only get support from me the grief program, I really, really do recommend you watch. It's exactly what's going to go in the new book, and it'll really help you, but also integrate with, you know, the people that follow us, because they'll help you as well. Everybody comes to us for a reason, and normally it's for guidance, for inspiration because they've been in pain or they feel alone. So reach out own how you feel, and let other people just take the reins for you. I'm going to show up now, so I'll go on for another half hour.

Alex Ferrari 1:43:32
Nicky, it is, I was it's been such an honor for you be on the show here today and sharing and sharing this story with me. Thank you so much for choosing me and the show to do this for. I do truly appreciate it so so much. I have nothing but love for you, my dear. Thank you for everything you're doing for the world, and thank you for this conversation, this healing and cathartic conversation. I hopefully you're a bit better now than you were when we started, and hopefully everybody listening is a bit better than when they first started listening to this. So I appreciate you more than words can say, and I cannot wait to see you in Austin next year.

Nicky Alan 1:44:14
Oh, I cannot wait, my lovely I cannot wait to just give you a biggest, biggest hug in the whole world. Thank you for having me here, and give me the honor to do this on your wonderful platform, and God bless all of you that watch as well. Hang on in there one day at a time. Thank you so much.