Next Level Soul Podcast Episode 734
Chrystal Rae is a near-death experiencer, spiritual teacher, writer and artist. In this episode of the Next Level Soul Podcast, she shares her first out-of-body experience as a child, the 80-foot cliff accident that led to her near-death experience, a life review built around a small act of kindness, and what she has come to believe about timelines, free will and being human.
Key Takeaways
- Chrystal first left her body as a young girl and describes being connected to it by a silver thread.
- In her life review, a small kindness mattered more than accomplishments, status or recognition.
- She believes possible timelines already exist and that we experience what we resonate with.
- Authenticity, not looking spiritual, became her measure of the path.
- Her closing message: be fully present in the human experience.
Who Is Chrystal Rae?
On today’s episode, we welcome Chrystal Rae, a near-death experiencer, spiritual teacher, writer, artist, and longtime student of consciousness whose extraordinary encounters with death reshaped her understanding of love, suffering, free will, and the mysterious architecture of our lives.
Chrystal’s story begins long before the accident that would send her over an 80-foot cliff. She grew up in a turbulent home with an alcoholic mother and an often-absent father, learning independence far earlier than most children should.
The Silver Thread: A Childhood Out-Of-Body Experience
As a young girl, she remembers choking on a watermelon seed, losing consciousness, and finding herself outside her body, watching what was happening below while feeling connected to her physical form by what appeared to her as a silver thread. She didn’t have language for such an experience. She only knew that something about consciousness seemed far larger than the body carrying it.
A Search for Truth and Authenticity
That experience sent her searching. Religion offered pieces of the puzzle but never completely recreated the truth she felt she had touched outside her body. Chrystal was baptized repeatedly, read the Bible, explored spiritual traditions, traveled to India, and studied with teachers and gurus. Yet perhaps the greatest discovery was not another belief system. It was authenticity. At some point, the costume of spirituality becomes another costume, and Chrystal realized she did not need to look spiritual to be spiritual. She needed to become fully herself.
The Accident and Her Near-Death Experience
While traveling in the mountains, Chrystal says the vehicle she was riding in began spinning on icy roads before being struck on the passenger side. The car went over an approximately 80-foot cliff and flipped repeatedly. Yet inside that violent sequence, Chrystal remembers something astonishing: time slowed almost to nothing. Fear disappeared. She found herself outside the body, observing the accident while enveloped in what she describes as a luminous presence. Her reaction was almost strangely simple: “I didn’t know I was gonna die today.” There was no dramatic bargaining with the universe, only surprise.
The Life Review: How One Kindness Rippled Forward
Within that presence, Chrystal says she experienced a life review unlike our earthly habit of judging ourselves. She saw not only what she had done but the ripples moving outward from her choices. One memory stood above accomplishments, status, and recognition. Years earlier, she had noticed a distressed pregnant woman, sat beside her, listened to her story, offered what money she had, gave her a hug, and told her she would be okay. Chrystal had barely thought about the encounter afterward. Yet in her life review, she says she experienced the woman’s emotions and saw how that small kindness rippled into the future. The woman survived her difficult period, eventually helped other women, found love, and built another chapter of her life. A five-minute act had traveled farther than Chrystal ever knew.
And perhaps this is where the conversation becomes less about death and much more about living. We tend to measure a meaningful life with visible things: careers, awards, followers, money, recognition. Yet if Chrystal’s experience is taken as a spiritual invitation rather than something we must blindly believe, it proposes a radically different accounting system. Perhaps consciousness does not ask how impressive we became. Perhaps it asks what happened to another human being because we were there.
Timelines, Free Will and the Choice to Return
Chrystal says she was eventually shown a timeline in which she would write a book and tell people that “love is all that matters.” That possibility excited her enough to return. Her understanding of timelines became even more fascinating as our conversation unfolded. Chrystal believes our possible timelines already exist in completion and that free will is expressed through what we resonate with and therefore experience. In her view, consciousness can shift toward another path as our inner state changes. Whether one interprets this literally, metaphysically, or symbolically, the practical wisdom is remarkably grounded: our choices matter. The stories we believe matter. The energy we bring into a room matters. And one change in direction may alter more of the journey than we can presently see.
Spiritual Takeaways
- The smallest act of love may create a ripple far beyond what you will ever see.
- Your life is not asking you to escape being human. It is asking you to become fully present within it.
- What defines your journey may not be what happens to you, but the path you choose in response.
The Beauty of Simply Being Human
Near the end of our conversation, Chrystal returned again and again to the beauty of simply being human. Smell the grass. Watch the sunrise. Touch someone you love. Step away from the screen. Be grateful for this strange temporary body and the astonishing opportunity of being here. We may spend our lives trying to escape the human experience in pursuit of something spiritual, only to discover that perhaps the human experience was spiritual all along. Chrystal’s journey asks us to stop walking past the ordinary miracles because, when viewed from the other side of the veil, those ordinary moments may turn out to have been the entire point.
Please enjoy my conversation with Chrystal Rae.
Guest Links: Connect with Chrystal Rae
Listen to the Episode
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- Download the MP3
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Frequently Asked Questions
What is the silver thread Chrystal Rae describes?
As a young girl, Chrystal choked on a watermelon seed, lost consciousness and found herself outside her body, watching what was happening below. She says she saw her body and her awareness connected by what looked like a silver thread.
What happened in Chrystal Rae’s near-death experience?
While traveling in the mountains, the vehicle she was riding in spun on icy roads, was struck on the passenger side and went over an approximately 80-foot cliff. Chrystal says time slowed, her fear disappeared, and she found herself outside her body, observing the accident inside a luminous presence.
What did Chrystal Rae see in her life review?
She says she experienced the ripples of her choices rather than a judgment of them. One memory stood out above accomplishments: sitting with a distressed pregnant woman, listening, and telling her she would be okay. In the review, Chrystal says she felt the woman’s emotions and saw how that small kindness rippled into the woman’s future.
What does Chrystal Rae believe about timelines and free will?
Chrystal believes our possible timelines already exist in completion, and that free will is expressed through what we resonate with and therefore experience. In her view, consciousness can shift to another path as our inner state changes.
Why did Chrystal Rae return to her body?
She says she was shown a timeline in which she would write a book and tell people that love is all that matters. That possibility excited her enough to return.
Where can I learn more about Chrystal Rae?
Visit her official site at chrystalraesoul.com, find her on YouTube, Facebook and Instagram, or watch her story on Next Level Soul TV. You can also hear her Divine Encounters interview about her mountain-road accident.
Keep Exploring
- Watch Julie Ryan’s Free Masterclass on the soul’s journey home: Julie Ryan: The Soul’s Journey Home
- Hear her Divine Encounters interview: Woman Dies in Mountain Crash and Sees Multiple Timelines
- Another out-of-body story: Kelvin Chin on leaving his body while drowning
- Go wider with our guide to reincarnation
Follow Along with the Transcript
Alex Ferrari 0:00
As the closer you are to the veil, certain things open up, and certain things come through.
Chrystal Rae 0:05
What my understanding is a little bit different. All the timelines are in completion, like everything has already happened, and we flipped 10 times. And I remember thinking, I didn't know I was going to die today, and so we're spinning, and this time, for me inside the car, time slowing down to like nothing. Like it's there's no sense of time. And I was shown that we have different timelines, and one of the timelines that I could have chosen was to leave the planet.
Alex Ferrari 0:35
So if they've already happened, then where's free will?
Chrystal Rae 0:37
So back to the timeline. So then I see that I have all these timelines, positive, negative, relatively speaking, but this is what I want to tell you...
Alex Ferrari 0:38
I like to welcome to the show, Chrystal Rae. How you doing, Chrystal?
Chrystal Rae 0:58
Hi, Alex. How are you? Thank you for having me.
Alex Ferrari 1:00
Thank you so much for coming down to Next Level Studios. I appreciate it.
Chrystal Rae 1:03
Nice to be here.
Alex Ferrari 1:04
You have a very interesting story. Thank you, to say the least. You've died a few times, and you've come back, obviously. But before we get into your near-death experiences, and I know the first one you had was very early on in your life, I like to ask you. I always like to ask, like, what was your life like prior? But you were five, if I'm not mistaken, correct? When you first, very young, very young. So, can you tell us a little bit about who you were, how you were raised, your the environment, the caretakers that you came into, and how that shaped your first getting to your first near-death experience.
Chrystal Rae 1:41
Thank you for asking that because I think my future near-death experience it has to have this background. So I was I was raised in what I call like a functional dysfunctional, like or the average American family. You're basically the average American. I mean maybe a little less average because my mom was a pretty severe alcoholic and my dad was basically absent, and my mom was a pretty. She wasn't a happy drunk. She was a very kind of violent. And really, we grew up with a lot of physical abuse. But what really was hard was the mental, like you know, just not the mental trauma. Yeah, like not feeling loved and not feeling cared for and not feeling like your primary caretaker. So I was always, you know, when you grow up in that kind of home, you're always trying to, you know, well, you become a little adult. You know, I was an adult, yeah, very young, and so I mean, I was making dinner at five and six years old, like I was cooking, like who does that, right? And instead of my mom combing my hair, like I would comb her hair, and I, but you know, I have a lot of love for my mom, so I'm not trying to like, you know, because I feel like that she was the perfect mom for me, and I'll get into that. But before my first near death experience, I remember, well, there was a few things. There's one that I don't actually really talk about a lot, but I'll share it with you. My mom thought if she liked something, everybody should like it, including watermelon, which most people like watermelon.
Alex Ferrari 3:07
Watermelon solution.
Chrystal Rae 3:07
Yeah, but I, I didn't. I didn't like watermelon, but if it, if she served it, you had to eat it.
Alex Ferrari 3:12
Well, that's the old school way of doing it. Yeah, I mean, you had you clean the plate. So
Chrystal Rae 3:15
So what I would just like, like cram it in my face and just or give it under the table to the dogs if I could, but that wasn't possible. But anyway, I had a seed stuck in my throat, and nobody could get it out. They were-I don't know if anyone knew about Heimlich or any of that-but they were all hitting me and whatever. Anyway, I passed out, turned blue, and then I would-I mean, I didn't really wake up in an ambulance, but I woke up above the abundance, so they were.
Alex Ferrari 3:43
So this is before the near death. So this is a pre near death experience.
Chrystal Rae 3:47
Yeah, this is just I I I call myself very untethered. Like I'm been very untethered to my body. I don't know that I died any of these occasions, but I know that I was outside my body. And I
Alex Ferrari 3:59
So how old were you with the seed situation,
Chrystal Rae 4:02
You know one of the things about near death experience, Alex, is that time becomes so elusive. But I will say, and also I'm in my 60s, so this is a long time ago. So let's just say five.
Alex Ferrari 4:12
Okay, but it's still before the actual.
Chrystal Rae 4:14
Yes. Okay. Yes. All right. Maybe seven. I'm not sure. Okay. Okay. But basically, I was a child, and so I woke up, and I remember I was tethered with a like a thread,
Alex Ferrari 4:40
Silver thread,
Chrystal Rae 4:40
Like a silver thread to this body, and I was watching them inside. I was watching myself on the on the stretcher with the the guy next to me, and I was really curious about it. I was like, oh, that's me, and and I and I remember thinking, if I don't get back in there, then I will die. And I I didn't have a spiritual experience as far as like a being of light or anything like that. It was just like this experience where I was following my body tethered by a thread. So that was, and I didn't tell anyone because I. Just make the joke that in my house God wasn't welcome unless He was damned. So, in other words, we weren't. My mom wasn't really atheist; she was more agnostic, and she said, "There's a bunch of GED hypocrites in church, you know. So we didn't really have that kind of upbringing, and so, and I didn't have the relationship where I could have told her, "Hey, mom, I was floating outside my body and watching myself in the ambulance. Anyway, that's the first experience, and I just kind of that was just something I kept to myself. But even as a child, Alex, I remember I had imaginary friends, like I just had imaginary friends, and now I know that was something different. But at the time, I just thought they were imaginary friends. But it was very comforting to me. And I believe that we all have angels and guides and guardians around us. And I think that was just, you know. And I remember I really liked going to sleep because I would go to this place where little girls and little boys didn't weren't abused, weren't hurt, and there was a lot of love. And so, anyway, my life is going on, and I remember one morning, maybe again, time is nebulous, but maybe I was between 1113, maybe, not sure, but that I was already more of a teenage coming into teenage years. Let's put it that way. And I remember hearing my mom come down the hallway, which was never a good thing because you could tell there was anger, like a heavy footstep. And I remember I was always just kind of like scared, you know. I was just like just a little bit scared, and I remember her coming in, and you know there was three of us at the time. That was before my little sister was born, and I didn't. We never knew who was in trouble, but somebody had done something wrong. Well, that morning it was me, and so she like dragged me down the hall and she pulled me to the kitchen. It was like six in the morning. She said, "Why hadn't you cleaned this black spot on the ceiling, and she had told me to clean it. But I was like, you know, busy doing all the other chores of the household and going to school and trying to be an adult. So I just said I'm sorry because I realized that that was the best thing to do when somebody is intoxicated or has a hangover. You just say you're sorry, even if you're not. I got really good at saying I'm sorry. When my sister, unfortunately for her, she's like, "I'm not sorry, and that never went well, you know. So anyway, I started cleaning this black spot, and I I had the the most beautiful experience a young child could have because I started talking to what my version of God was, and I had heard the stories of you know Moses parting the Red Seas, and I had heard the stories of Jesus. I had heard all these stories and all these miracles, and I was like, you know, if there's good people and bad people, I want I want to be good, but I don't want to be good to get to heaven because to me that felt and even at this very early age it felt corrupt. Like I'm going to be good.
Alex Ferrari 8:22
Yeah, transactional.
Chrystal Rae 8:22
Yeah, it was a transaction. I'll be good, or I'm going to be good to avoid hell or being thrown into brimstone and snakes and fire and all that stuff, which seemed like a very, like, horrible God to me. But anyway, I didn't want. I didn't, and I said, you know. But even, and I thought this very young and very elevated thoughts for such a young child. But because of my having to be an adult, I think, and also I think I'm an older soul. I came in. I think I came in willingly to this particular family so that I could have these particular experiences, so that I could help a lot of people, because people can look at me and think a certain thing about me, but they have no idea what I have gone through to be who I am. And so, if you look in my eyes, you can see like she is soft but strong, and the reason is because I've had these really wonderful, which you might think horrific, experiences that have made me this more powerful crystal that has shown up. Right. So anyway, I'm up having this conversation with God, who again was not welcome in our house, and I said, you know, I don't want to sign up for that. Like, I want to be good because I'm a good person, and I really wanted to be good. Alex, like I really-that was just my soul. Like I just want to be a good person. I want to be good in the world, and I was like, like literally, because that was my first like moment of self-worth. So one thing that happens with kids in this dysfunctional relationships with their parents and primary caretakers is that, you know, your self worth is really because you think if I was a better little girl, my mom wouldn't drink, my dad wouldn't leave.
Alex Ferrari 13:50
Of course,
Chrystal Rae 9:48
You know things would be better. So you're always thinking it's you, and this was like the first moment, and I because I had this realization: if I want to be good, just because I want. Be good. That means I am good, which means I'm a good person. And I was like, oh, you know, I had this like really like almost like spiritual experience. Like, and and then I said I continued this conversation with God, and I said, well, God, you know, in my very innocent little girl way, if you're real, then why can't I know you're real? But before I die, not after. That's kind of like cheating. All right, yeah, everyone knows you're real after you die, right? Sure. I like why can't I like Moses, the burning bush? You know, why can't I part the Red Seas? Why can't I know before I die? And if you're God and you made the universe, like that's possible, right? But then here was the impossible thing that I asked him. And by the way, if you're God, can you help my mom stop drinking? Oh God! You know, and I thought that was even more impossible. But with that, I turned around, and this is where it gets kind of groovy. I turned around and I walked off the counter. So, like, if I was to walk off this table, your foot falls, your head follows, right? Sure. So I go face first into the floor. However, I never hit it. Let me explain. So all of a sudden, there's three of me. There is the body falling through time and space. There's the soul essence that lives within this body, and then there's this all-knowing observer that was also me. And what I related with was this this being that lived within the body, this essence, this soul essence, like the particular essence that had, let's say, fragmented into this body, but I knew I was all three, and my body was floating through time and space. It was like a vortex or a tornado, and I couldn't be sure. I remember wondering, is this moving up or am I moving down? And if I was moving down, that was kind of scary because I was going to hell. But if it's moving up, then I was kind of in the, and I remember just kind of like wondering where I'm at, and the sole essence of me was just observing. But then this all-knowing observer was dispassionate about it all, and wasn't buying into my poor little crystal, poor little me stories at all. Like it was just neutral. Let's just say, and it almost felt like I had a little bit of shame because I was trying to get sort of some kind of accolades by this story. Anyway, I ended up in this serene black night. Let's say out in space, and there was speckled with lights, and there was this presence. 1107. I just like that number, and there is this presence that showed it wasn't a person or a thing. It was just said, "This is time and space, and there is no empty space in the universe. And I want you to remember, this is like I'm I'm in my 60s. This is like when I was 10, and this is before they had discovered dark matter, and there's no empty space. And what you see out there, those are stars, and that's what you are. And with that, I was back in my body, but Alex, like I was standing on my feet, and I was looking down. I had my arms wrapped behind me, and I was standing on my feet, and I was like, "Wait, maybe I hit my head, saw stars, had this beautiful experience. And so I ran to the bathroom, and I'm like, "Okay, I have to have like something, right? Nothing. So then I called my brother, and I was like, "Mark, Mark, God saved me. And he's like, "Who? What? He's like, "What are you talking about? And I told him like this: There was three of me. Like I didn't have this kind of verbiage that I have today, but there was three of me. There was this body. There was this thing lived in my body. There was this all-knowing observer. Da da da da. And he's like, "I think you need a straitjacket. That's exactly what he said to me. And we both started giggling because my brother is like a year younger than me, and so we giggled. And I sat on the floor, and I said, "You know, Mark, I get it. Like this sounds weird, even to me. This wasn't in our upbringing. You know, we didn't we didn't come up in a home where anything spiritual was happening.
Alex Ferrari 14:16
And were near death experiences even a thing yet?
Chrystal Rae 14:17
I don't even think so. And so then I so I said, but never forget. And here's the funny part. So my brother lives, by the way, in he lives here in Austin, and he's a he's a minister.
Alex Ferrari 14:27
Oh wow!
Chrystal Rae 14:27
But we have very different
Alex Ferrari 14:29
Perspectives.
Chrystal Rae 14:30
Perspectives, right? So it's kind of I think the universe has like such a huge sense of humor because I said to him, "I don't. It's okay if you don't believe me, but you can't forget this. And so every year, do you remember? And somehow, I was given the knowledge that if I didn't have someone to say I remember that, I might think it was a dream, because it was so. So after that, I started going to Sunday school. I started calling busses. I started walking. I read the Bible seven times.
Alex Ferrari 15:00
It's a lot.
Chrystal Rae 15:01
Forward, back, forward, back. I said, "Well, maybe I read it from the back because it was terrifying to me. I mean,
Alex Ferrari 15:07
Oh, there's-it's not
Chrystal Rae 15:08
This kind of God. I couldn't, and I thought there was something.
Alex Ferrari 15:11
There's two gods in that book.
Chrystal Rae 15:12
Yes, that's true. I never thought of it that way.
Alex Ferrari 15:14
There is two gods. There's the first god and the second god. Jesus doesn't talk about the same god. That's true. It's very different gods,
Chrystal Rae 15:21
Very different, and it was terrifying to me. So then I started going to church. My mom thought I had lost my mind, walking to church, calling Sunday school, and then my my sisters and my brothers started coming with me. So I was like, okay. So we all, I was baptized five times.
Alex Ferrari 15:38
Why did you need five baptisms?
Chrystal Rae 15:39
Because I didn't feel it. Because when I was in this out of body state, I felt the truth of the universe. I felt this unconditional love. I felt completely held and completely loved, and I really wanted. And I, I don't like. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna fake it. Like I'm not a fake it kind of girl. You know what I mean? Like, all right, that was nice. So I'm like, maybe there's something wrong with me. I need to try this again. So the last time I got baptized, I was like, this, you know, there's probably something wrong with me.
Alex Ferrari 16:12
But did you keep going baptized because you were looking for that feeling again?
Chrystal Rae 16:16
I was looking for truth, not a feeling.
Alex Ferrari 16:19
Okay, so you because
Chrystal Rae 16:20
The feeling was great, but I wanted true. I wanted to know the truth, and this, the feeling that I'm talking about, was the truth of the universe, which is absolute unconditional love. And I didn't. I felt it was like a, like it was something. It was it was fun. It was nice. It made everybody feel good, but it wasn't the absolute truth that I knew to be true, and there was some dogma. I didn't have verbiage for it, but there's something that felt false about it.
Alex Ferrari 16:47
But you also, but you also were trying as a baby, a kid, to process all of this in a time that there wasn't, there weren't podcasts, there weren't YouTube, there wasn't, you know, that you barely could get something in an occult bookstore about this kind of stuff back then.
Chrystal Rae 17:02
One thing I do want to say though, and I want to just put it there that with all this church experience, I met so many loving, kind people, and like it was so nice to be held in that in their loving embrace, whatever their beliefs were that I couldn't really sign up for. I did feel like I feel like there's a place for it all because for me it was these people they love they loved me to the degree that they could and they were really they believed what they were doing was good and it was the right path and so I felt held in that way, but I couldn't sign up for it. And the last one I went to
Alex Ferrari 17:35
Baptism, the last baptism.
Chrystal Rae 17:37
Yeah, I went no after that I went to a healer. It was like a charismatic healer.
Alex Ferrari 17:41
How old were you now?
Chrystal Rae 17:42
Now I'm like getting close to 17.
Alex Ferrari 17:46
Okay, so you're a teenager now. Yeah. Okay.
Chrystal Rae 17:48
But I remember I went and like
Alex Ferrari 17:50
So all that that decade you were just searching.
Chrystal Rae 17:53
I was.
Alex Ferrari 17:53
You were trying everything.
Chrystal Rae 17:54
I wanted to know the truth.
Alex Ferrari 17:56
Wow. So you were searching. You were literally a seeker. You were seeking.
Chrystal Rae 17:59
And I wasn't gonna fake it, and I wasn't gonna pretend like, oh, I'm changed. I'm like, no, I'm the same. Like, come out of the water, you're changed. Like, no, no, I'm, I'm still me changed. But anyway, I went to this this guy, and this is the most bizarre thing. And he was like putting hands on people, and they were falling down. You know that those kinds of
Alex Ferrari 18:17
Oh, oh yeah, I don't know if they there's some snakes somewhere. I'm sure.
Chrystal Rae 18:20
Yeah. So, but people were falling down, and I remember I got and I actually fell down, and I got up and I told him, I looked him straight in the eyes, and I said, "Listen, what you're doing is wrong. I said, "Because you're using like a powerful energy, like hypnotizing people, and this is wrong, and you're making a lot of money doing this. This is wrong. I was just a kid, you know, and they quietly escorted me out.
Alex Ferrari 18:44
Of course,
Chrystal Rae 18:45
I was quietly escorted out, and then I gave up on religion. That was it for me. I was like, okay, I'm done. But besides that, my home situation had gotten really bad. You know, was it was just you know, teenage years are not easy anyway, and I was in my teenage years, and so I had to like survive. Like I, I left home when I was 17. Like I ran away from home, went out the window. I remember my dog. I had this sweet dog named Lady, and she was hanging out and howling. And then, I mean, it was this crazy. But I had done all my research. Like I knew she couldn't put me into like whatever they put kids that are bad and like reforming school or something, you know. And I, it's a longer story, but my the boss, and then I started working. I was selling flowers like carnations on the street when I was like 10. Like I was always
Alex Ferrari 19:35
Hustling,
Chrystal Rae 19:36
Picking weeds, you know, babysitting or the A&W root beer when I was 13. I was always very industrious and smart and working towards like. So I checked it out, and as my boss said, this event happened. It doesn't really matter. But she said, if you need a place to stay, I was working at Ferrari's cafeteria, making salads. You can come stay with me. So I called her, and back then it was like a you know like 711. I went to 711, put in a dime, called her, and she came and got me. And I lived with her for about a month, which didn't work out. Her daughter did not like me, and then I moved in with another friend. Her and her mom were all. It was just just moving from here to here to here, and then I remember when I went to this woman's house. It was my boss. She said, "You need to call your mom. And I, I said, "Okay. So I called my mom, and I said, "She said if you don't come back, I don't have a daughter. Like you're, I never want to see you again? You're gonna be a be a prostitute. You're gonna drop out of school. You're gonna be drug addict. And I just don't have a daughter. And I was crushed, Alex. I was crushed.
Alex Ferrari 20:49
Of course.
Chrystal Rae 20:50
I I just wanted her to say I love you. Come home. We'll work this out. But it was actually the best speech because I was like, I'll show you. You know, like I made straight A's. Like I bought my own first car. Like I was like you're, and it was all just trying to get her to love me, you know. And and I just want to say because my mom has passed now, and I just want to say I know she loved me. She did the best she could. So I'm working about, you know, a year later. I see my mom walking through the. I was working at some retail store in the mall, like J. Harris or something like that. My mom comes and she's now Christian. Okay, remember my my first. But my mom, when I left home, it broke her heart.
Alex Ferrari 21:35
So she needed to go.
Chrystal Rae 21:37
She stopped smoking. She stopped drinking.
Alex Ferrari 21:40
Wow.
Chrystal Rae 21:41
She became actually at the end of her life she was a minister.
Alex Ferrari 21:45
Oh wow, she went to the other end.
Chrystal Rae 21:46
Yes, she pendulumed over. Remember, I said to God when I was a child, I said a real miracle wouldn't be parting the waters; it'd be helping my mom not drink. And she came and she like fell down on her knees. And back then they had mascara that
Alex Ferrari 22:02
ran.
Chrystal Rae 22:03
That ran. So she kind of looked like her film.
Alex Ferrari 22:06
Tammy Faye, very Tammy Faye.
Chrystal Rae 22:07
That was her guru. How did you know? Oh my God, you knew that was my mom's guru back in the day.
Alex Ferrari 22:13
Wow, Tammy Faye was the guru. Good lord!
Chrystal Rae 22:16
I know, I know. And she was so distraught when that whole kingdom fell. But anyway, what's that shocking? Yeah, she fell on her knees in front of me in the middle of the mall, and she said, "I just want to ask you for forgiveness.
Alex Ferrari 22:28
Oh,
Chrystal Rae 22:29
And she had like this, and I said, "Mom, like we're all doing the best that we can. Like you did the best. I I'm happy with my life. Get up, like come. And our relationship was never good. I couldn't say it was good because there was so much pain from my childhood, and I had like I always I didn't learn until later. Like I saw my mom, but I saw a story. I didn't see who was standing before me. You know what I mean? Because I couldn't see past until finally when she was older, and I could see her, and she was this fragile old woman. But for me, she was always a lioness. She was so fierce. This woman, you know, she was scary, fierce, beautiful, you know, shockingly beautiful. We'd walk down the street. People would ask her for her autograph, like she was. We lived in California at that time. So anyway, when she got older, I remember I suddenly the veil fell, and I saw this fragile woman who just needed me to take care of her and to love her. And so, one of the things I think that I really, really grateful about is that I've always been able to give what I didn't receive. So I was like, you know what? I'm going to be, I'm going to take into the end of her life, I, I took good care of my mom to the best of my ability. But anyway, so continue on right my life, and she's continuing on becoming a minister and all of this. I get married, I have children, and I think this is also something that happens with kids with dysfunction. You know, like the most important, and I know you have girls. The most important relationship for a girl, apparently, according to science, is the father and daughter relationship. More, you would think it's mother to daughter, but it's actually the relationship with the father, because typically they will marry someone that's like you, you know, which will be very nice for your daughters.
Alex Ferrari 24:22
I, I mean, I hope so.
Chrystal Rae 24:24
But my father was not there, and when he was there, he was abusive as well and big drinker. So, I married somebody who, not that he he wasn't like my father in that sense, but I guess he was absent even though he was there, and like he came from a very well-to-do family, and I was this model because at that time modeling, and and you know I was a good girl, and I was you know but I didn't drink and I didn't smoke because I, you know, I'm good girl, and I was also modeling. I was taking good care of myself, and I was always just really working on. So we, you know, I needed a hero, and he needed to save somebody. It worked out great, but then guess what? We have to get along, right? So that marriage didn't work ultimately. Although we're still like he's been my broken hero. I'm always grateful for him in so many ways, you know.
Alex Ferrari 25:17
Let me ask you. So with all the stuff that you've gone through so far. I mean, you've obviously, you know, from a spiritual perspective, chose this path.
Chrystal Rae 25:27
I think so.
Alex Ferrari 25:27
Yeah, the soul chose this path. The three, the three parts of you-the body, the soul, and the observer-are. It's very interesting the concept because people get stuck basically stop at soul, and I'm like, no, no. There's, there's actually the soul is the spark that kind of ignites this whole thing, but then there is a higher self, or observer, or however that is the old kind of like it knows everything.
Chrystal Rae 25:55
Well, like like the the drop of water in the ocean or the wave in the ocean, right?
Alex Ferrari 25:59
Yeah, it's exactly. It's something like that. So and it's connected to the the Irish, and then we could talk about the Oversoul, and we could talk about soul families. That's a whole other situation because I'm assuming you guys had some business in this in this life to deal with. So who knows what you?
Chrystal Rae 26:13
I'm sure I signed up for this family, as I said, because and like you know, given this physical presentation of Chrystal Rae, which every you know would say, oh, she's glamorous, she's successful, she's this and that, but they have no idea. Like I,
Alex Ferrari 26:28
Oh, the hell you went through!
Chrystal Rae 26:29
Yeah, they have no idea. And but the gift of that is like, I have a lot of students because I have yoga studios and I do a lot of mentorship. Is like there people think, well, I can't do that, and I'm like, look in my eyes, you can do it. I, I'm telling you, and because you've been through it, you can actually empower, because sometimes you don't have the authority. Because, like, okay, well, you haven't been raped and pillaged. How would you know? You know what I mean? Like, but if you have been raped and pillaged, then, and you still choose love.
Alex Ferrari 27:00
Well, that's the ultimate.
Chrystal Rae 27:01
Yes,
Alex Ferrari 27:01
That's the ultimate test.
Chrystal Rae 27:03
So I feel like I chose this so that I would have the grit to, because there's some horror in this life, and I've met some people who, where my story sounds like you know kindergarten.
Alex Ferrari 27:14
Oh, I know. I've had those. You know, I know those people. Oh no, things that you just like. Good lord!
Chrystal Rae 27:19
And so then I, you know, the gift of my of my very troubled childhood was it gave me the grit and the experience where I can actually be of service and be a light.
Alex Ferrari 27:32
Well, yeah, you need, and this is the part that people don't get a lot of times, especially when you're in it. It sucks when you're going through stuff that's tough. We've all gone through versions of it: trauma, obstacles, troubles, you know, challenges. But that's when you grow.
Chrystal Rae 27:49
That's true.
Alex Ferrari 27:50
That's the only time you grow. If everything's hunky dory, you're not growing. You're just kind of riding, you know. But it's only when these these challenges come in front of you is when you are tested, and it's going back to the the hero's journey, which is Joseph Campbell's hero's journey, which all movies and stories are all based around, and
Chrystal Rae 28:09
The archetypes,
Alex Ferrari 28:10
The archetypes, and things like that. But when the hero is just going along their date, they need to be challenged. They need to have a call. You have to reject the call. Like no, no, no, no. I don't want to go out publicly and talk about this near-death experience. That's crazy. I'm going to be thrown into this loonyism. Sound familiar? And then you go like, well, no, you have to go, and then you eventually go because now you are leaving the world that you knew, the ordinary world, and going into the unknown. And now you're on a journey, and then all these challenges are being thrown at you. And then by the time you're done with that journey and you come back, you are a completely different person. And you're also, if you want to go through the full gambit of the hero's journey, you have the elixir. You got the the prize, and that prize could be a physical, you know, ark of the covenant, or it could be knowledge that you bring back to the community, to the tribe, to yourself, to people around you, that that can go. Oh, she's different now, and it seems like you've and there's little mini versions of that happening to us throughout our lives. There's the one big overall arc, but we're always going through all that. So
Chrystal Rae 29:13
for sure,
Alex Ferrari 29:14
So you know, a lot of people like I want to avoid pain. I want to avoid you know, I want to be comfortable all the time. Like you're not going to grow, and you're not going to be tested unless you push yourself outside the comfort zone, just like you are in a gym, just like you are when you do yoga.
Chrystal Rae 29:29
Right!
Alex Ferrari 29:29
You know, when you do yoga, when you're doing downward dog for the first time, I know very few yoga terms, but when you're doing downward dog or cobra for the first time, and you can't, you know, do anything. Like it's like downward dog's a thing. Like it's oh, it hurts. That's step one. But you do it for a month or two or three. By the time you're done, you're like, oh, this is easy.
Chrystal Rae 29:52
This is a resting pose. Yeah.
Alex Ferrari 29:53
This is a resting pose. Exactly. But you need to be challenged. You need to push yourself beyond the.
Chrystal Rae 29:57
So I agree with that. But I, I will say that. I feel like as you evolve, this is personal experience. Is that the challenges are yes, they're they're great sparks, and I feel like we all have exit points in our lives. Like I think I had I had some exit points, but I also think as you move along, I think you can suffer less. Not that you won't have challenges, but you won't suffer through.
Alex Ferrari 30:19
Agreed.
Chrystal Rae 30:20
So I think when I when I was younger, I I suffered a lot because of the stories I attached to the pain.
Alex Ferrari 30:27
Agreed.
Chrystal Rae 30:27
And and I feel like now I can have very difficult, challenging thing and be not suffer about it. It's not that the things don't happen, but I don't suffer. And I feel this is a spiritual evolution that we will all find our way to. So I agree that pain and in like all that stuff gets you. Yeah, the challenges get you out of it. But I don't think that's the only way, ultimately, to grow. I would have to disagree with that. I think that eventually you can outgrow the ideal that you need to suffer to grow,
Alex Ferrari 31:01
Agreed.
Chrystal Rae 31:01
But I'm not disregarding that either, because for me it has been a huge catalyst of getting. Even recently, I've had some really big challenges that that light the fire again, because you can get very cozy, you know. But again, I'm not suffering because of the challenges.
Alex Ferrari 31:17
And there's a big distinction. I love that you brought that up because I do think that all challenges make you grow in one way, shape, or form. But the decision on how to deal with the challenges is your choice. What is thrown at us in our path is not really determined by us, at least on a conscious level, on a subconscious level, or on a soul level. We knew this was coming. We signed up for it. But when a challenge is thrown at you, you can't really like a bear's in front of you right now. Bear like I didn't ask for the bear. Where did the bear come from? Now how am I going to deal with this bear? Now I can hug it. Probably not going to work out well. He's so cute. Or you run, or you. So you have to figure out how to deal with it. But I promise you, after that experience, you're going to be a lot smarter. You're going to be a lot. You're going to be a different human being.
Chrystal Rae 32:05
But there is also another way to grow.
Alex Ferrari 32:07
Yeah, absolutely. But without, so let me continue for a second. The suffering. That's the thing. Just because bad things happen to you or challenging things happen to you, it's about how you deal with it and how you choose to associate the stories with it.
Chrystal Rae 32:19
Story.
Alex Ferrari 32:19
That's the thing. It's all about the stories that we tell ourselves, and our found. There's a foundational stories. That's why when your story might be different than my story, and I'm so stuck to my story, let's say my religion, and you say, "But wait a minute, who's Buddha? No, no, no, no. There's no Buddha. There's only Jesus. There's only there's only screw the five other billion people who don't follow him.
Chrystal Rae 32:39
My gosh,
Alex Ferrari 32:39
God forbid, right? And that that because my foundational story, my whole life is based on that idea. I'm not open enough or limber limber enough to kind of flow with that idea. So it's all about how you attach the stories and then how you deal with it. And you don't have to. The Buddha said that suffering is the attachment to things. So, Buddha went through a lot of stuff after he found enlightenment.
Chrystal Rae 33:06
Oh yeah,
Alex Ferrari 33:06
But he didn't suffer.
Chrystal Rae 33:07
He didn't suffer.
Alex Ferrari 33:08
That's so. I love that.
Chrystal Rae 33:10
But I do think you can also continue to evolve without having a challenge if a certain level. Absolutely. But I'm not discounting that. But anyway, continuing on, right? So we're going on, and so I get divorced, which is really heartbreaking because I felt like to me, like he had discovered that the slipper didn't fit, you know, like I was actually broken, like my mom had said, and of course he's going to divorce me, or of course he's going to be. That's what you're
Alex Ferrari 33:38
That's what you're saying to yourself.
Chrystal Rae 33:39
Yes, of course, like he's going to be unfaithful to me because he's seen the truth, you know. Like I had this like
Alex Ferrari 33:45
The story you told yourself,
Chrystal Rae 33:46
The story, right? The Cinderella gone wrong, you know, story. And so, but I'm still continuing my life on, and for about a year and a half, and the day that you know I didn't when I got divorced, and I don't recommend this for everyone, but when I got divorced, I remember he came, and we didn't even go to lawyers, which that's what I'm saying. And he was very wealthy guy, and I said, "I'm not cutting the couch in half. Like you, you can see the kids as much as you want because I wasn't able. Like one time, I had a picture of my father under my my my real father under my pillow when my mom was remarried, and I got a spanking for that, for like having my dad's picture. I know, I know, I know. Bliss her heart. Anyway, so I said, I want my kids to have a father, and you are their father. I want you to come as much as possible. So I will be. I felt like I made the mistake. I made married the wrong person. I will take the hit, not the kids. That's what I thought, and so you get to come as much as you want and see the kids, which was hard for me. So I didn't really date because he was there all the time. He was had his girlfriend, and I was just at home with the kids, right? But anyway, so about a year and a half later, and this is where my. Most traumatic, I guess, near death experience that most people are interested in, and I think I told you earlier today, like to me, the near death experiences are not quite as interesting as like how you live your life. But we'll get into that.
Alex Ferrari 35:12
Yeah, before you get into the near death experience, that's something I've spoken to a few in the years in my day. What I always find fascinating is yes, the experience, the how they died is always interesting because it's interesting naturally, dramatic. It's dramatic, generally speaking. Some more dramatic than others, and then there's the experience of what happens on the other side, what they experience. That's also dramatic, but I and I they're very those are things are very interesting, but I find it more fascinating is what happens to the person after they come back. What what does their life turn into after that experience? That's what I mean. The other stuff, the mystical stuff, the the death, all that. That's fascinating. And as a storyteller, it's awesome, awesome. But what's more interesting to me is the next 1020, years that that person is dealing with what they experienced, how they processed it, how it changed their life, how it affected their life, and how they're walking through this life now differently because it was an it was an exit point. Exit
Chrystal Rae 36:12
Exit point.
Alex Ferrari 36:13
And just so just to clear before you get into it, my understanding, and please correct me or give me your opinion on it, is when we're on the other side, we choose our soul plan, our soul blueprint, and in our soul blueprint, the way I've always called it is mile markers. So, like at mile marker, hey, you're gonna you're gonna have this parents. No, you can't change that. You're going to meet this guy, and he are gonna marry, and then he's gonna be. You guys are gonna have these kids. These are things that are kind of locked into place, how they get there-it's up to like within that syllabus. Like when it happens, that's all variable. But and these mile markers, and like, and you are going to have a near-death experience option here. And if you're not on the road where you need to be, that's going to be where you're going to come off. Now, and the and you have multiple of those throughout your life. These are mile markers that are just going to be what they're going to be. You're going to live in New York. You're going to be here. You're going to have this career. These are mile markers. But how you get to the mile markers is where you kind of have fun, right? And and you can go off the road. You can go off, and that's when you get like that happens. A little scolding. A little scolding, or you die, which happens. Try again. The ultimate scolding is now you're dead. Now look at you. Yeah. So that is. Do you agree with that? That whole.
Chrystal Rae 37:26
I agree with that. I do think that we have. I don't think it's preset. I think we have possibilities, timelines. Yeah. There's different timelines are available to you, and I'll I'll go more into that after the the near death experience. But so anyway, I'm. This gentleman asked me out, and I'm like a year and a half out from dating, and I literally haven't gone out of the house. Like I've just been doing kid stuff, and I'm like, no, I'm not. I'm not really ready to like date. Date, and he's like, no, I have a house. It's in the mountains and Vail, and my kids are coming. His kids were older; they're like 30. He was a little bit older, and you know, I said, "No, I'm I'm really not ready for that. He's like, "No, he said, "You can bring a friend, like a chaperone. I'm like, "All right, here I'm a 35 year old woman at the time, right? And I'm going to bring a chaperone. That sounded good to me. I was like, "All right,
Alex Ferrari 38:14
I'll enjoy the ride. Sure, let's go.
Chrystal Rae 38:17
Let's go. So I called my cousin, my cousin Carmen, who's actually not my cousin? She's cousin through my marriage and and through an ex brother in law. But we we loved each other, so we we love each other. Shouldn't say love because she's still on the planet. And so I I said, do you want to go on this ski trip with this friend of mine? This new friend of mine. His friend's coming to have a house, and she said, okay. And she played the clarinet for the Dallas Opera, and she was very talented and beautiful. She was 40 years old at the time. She was like your beautiful wife, like she was dark, dark hair, and this like she was very earthy and like doe doe doe. A glow about her, a glow, and she was just gorgeous and talented and smart. And so I said, okay. So we're going on this trip, and we we get to the mountain. First of all, I I touched you earlier. Like I'm always cold, right? I'm like, oh, I'm cold, and it's cold in Vail, and I'm I'm cold. I don't really like the snow.
Alex Ferrari 39:13
Why did you go on a ski trip?
Chrystal Rae 39:14
Because I thought I need to get out of my house, Alex. I was like, I need to like I'm like literally I'm disappearing inside my my own like dark little hole, you know. As
Alex Ferrari 39:24
You needed to kind of get out,
Chrystal Rae 39:25
I needed to do something.
Alex Ferrari 39:26
You were hermit. You were hermit.
Chrystal Rae 39:27
I was hermit. Yeah, and I was and and I had children, and it was just wasn't healthy mentally healthy.
Alex Ferrari 39:33
You needed adult conversations.
Chrystal Rae 39:35
Yes, I know the feeling. I know. I did. I know the. So I went on this trip, and then so we get there, and and I realize like I like him, but his kids they they drink a lot, they smoke a lot, they cuss a lot, which is you know I never drank, I never smoked, I never did drugs. I mean, just it just wasn't because of my childhood. wasn't like something I was attracted to. I was like, oh yeah, I've seen what that does. I'm not doing that, but anyway, so I wasn't having a whole lot of fun. It was. He was nice. So about three days, and I said, "Carmen, are you having fun? She was like, "My people back. And and she had a like a big concert coming up. So so I told my friend, I said, "Hey, you know this has been fun, but I I don't think I was actually ready for this. Can I think I should go back? And he was like, "Sure, let us go back. So that day we we we were heading back to the airport, and we stopped at this like you know in Vail. They have these like cute little hotel bars where it's like a cozy fireplace and
Alex Ferrari 40:34
Mountain little mountain town.
Chrystal Rae 40:35
Yeah, little mountain town. So we were ready to we were waiting for the plane. Then we got in the car. We were heading up the mountain. Somehow he went up the mountain, not down the mountain. We took a wrong turn, and there was a like a young guy that was kind of like hitting on Carmen, you know. And he was like 29, she's 40, whatever. And so we're laughing about it. And I remember the driver, my friend, looking back, laughing, and then when he turned back, the car was like spinning, spinning, because it was like kind of, like I don't know, sudden storms happen. I think these mountain cities, and so it was like suddenly like, I mean, the roads were already icy, and it was just like, and we were spinning, and then the car was coming down the mountain, and it couldn't stop, and so we're spinning, and this time, for me inside the car, time is slowing down to like nothing. Like it's there's no sense of time, which has always been the case for me. Like I never even set my. I like watches because they're pretty, like a piece of jewelry, but I don't even set them. Like I time doesn't really mean much to me anymore. But anyway, so time slows down and and we're spinning, but it's like in slow motion, and I'm feeling all the emotions and fear of everybody in the car being the driver and my cousin in the back, and I'm feeling it all. I had no fear of death because of
Alex Ferrari 41:56
Your first experience,
Chrystal Rae 41:56
Various experiences in my life. So, so I'm very calm, like like I'm like a cat calm, you know, like you know. Have you ever thrown a ball at a cat? They just kind of go, and I'm like
Alex Ferrari 42:07
Chilled,
Chrystal Rae 42:07
Super like ultra calm, especially when there's something tragic, like you want me around, like I am like going to be the one to save you. I I promise, like that's that's that's the kind of energy I have, and so I remember just feeling everything. I remember looking back at Carmen, and I think this is why I got this really. And I never have seen so much fear, or horror, or despair in someone. And I felt it like it was me. And then the driver was just frantic, right? He was just frantic. And and so we get hit on my side of the car. This person who was estimated to be going 50 miles an hour, and hit my side of the car.
Alex Ferrari 42:47
So you got hit by a car.
Chrystal Rae 42:48
We got hit because we were like
Alex Ferrari 42:50
T-boned. You T-boned. Got it.
Chrystal Rae 42:52
Hit my side of the car, passenger side, and during all of this, like I am in this altered state. Time slowed down, and then suddenly, I'm outside of my body, right, and I'm watching from a distance, and I'm in this luminous presence. I wouldn't say there was a beam of light there; it was more of a luminous presence, and I was being held, and I had very like I was very dispassionate about what was going on in the car, so I'm watching the car spinning. By the way, we went off a cliff.
Alex Ferrari 43:27
Oh, both the cars are just
Chrystal Rae 43:30
Our car only.
Alex Ferrari 43:30
Okay, he hit you, and then you took.
Chrystal Rae 43:32
We went off. It was an 80 foot cliff.
Alex Ferrari 43:35
Oh Jesus!
Chrystal Rae 43:36
And we hit at 25 feet, and we flipped 10 times. But I remember when we went off the cliff. Like when I felt the car go off the cliff, I was like, "We don't have wings. I remember thinking, "We don't have wings, and then I remember thinking, "I didn't know I was gonna die today. That was like a like I was like, "Oh wow, I just is this the day? Like you know, nobody. I think most people when they when their actual day comes, they're like, "Oh, wait! Today was the day. This is the day. And I was like, so surprised, Alex. I was like, "What? I didn't know was going to die today. It wasn't like a sadness about it. It was more of a surprise, and there wasn't even a fear about it. It was just a surprise.
Alex Ferrari 44:14
Right, right, right.
Chrystal Rae 44:15
But with that, then I'm in this luminous presence, and all I can say is like, in that instant, I knew everything that you could possibly know about everything. Like every question was answered. I was, if I had a question, for example, I was like, I was like, oh no, I can't die because I have two children. They're going to be orphaned. I don't know why I said orphaned. They have a doubt, obviously, but I said they'll be orphaned, and I was shown that we have different timelines, and one of the timelines that I could have chosen was to leave the planet.
Alex Ferrari 44:50
Okay, so stop for a second. So when you're there, you're shown. What do you see? Is it just coming in your mind?
Chrystal Rae 44:57
Okay, so if if you want, like the. Way it happened.
Alex Ferrari 45:00
Yeah, yeah. Tell me.
Chrystal Rae 45:00
The first thing that happened was I was I was shown my my own life review. My first time held, then I'm shown a life review, where I'm I not only see what I've done, but I've seen the ripple forward and backward of what I've done in my life, like good and bad, not from a place of judgment either, and it's almost instantaneous. Like, which is so bizarre. Like, how can you see every single moment of your life instantaneous and the ripple to infinium? Like, this is impossible, but it's not impossible because it happened. And and I remember one of the things I was shown, like, which was really surprising to me, was like, do you want to see the most beautiful act of love that you've, your most beautiful act in this life? And it was, you know, like the most powerful thing you've done. Who said that?
Alex Ferrari 45:52
But who's talking to this being? Not being essence.
Chrystal Rae 45:55
The presence. Presence. Yeah, as presence, right? It's just a presence. It's light. Yeah, it's just light. I'm gonna get enveloped in light.
Alex Ferrari 46:01
Got it. Got it.
Chrystal Rae 46:02
And it's all telepathic. It's not. And I can't even say telepathic because it's really more like a download. But that's not even right. It's instant. It's just instant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I was shown like one day I was walking down some street, don't remember where, and there was a woman sitting, and she had like a little pregnant belly, and she was just like her hands were like this, and she was just not in a good place, and you could see it, and I was just drawn to her, and I went and I sat next to her, and she kind of looked looked up surprised, and she was probably a homeless woman, I'm not sure, but I said, "Are you okay? And she looked at me like kind of scared, like an animal would look at you when they're scared, like they don't really trust you. And she's, but somehow her guard went down and she said, "No, I'm not okay. And she told me her story, which was like she was pregnant, the dad didn't want the baby, she didn't have money, blah blah blah, all the stuff. And I just said, I listened to her first of all, like listening, like what you do is so well. As I just listened to her, and then I, I said, I promise you're going to be okay. I gave her whatever few pennies I had in my purse, and I gave her a hug, and I left, and I never thought about that woman again. Like we didn't exchange numbers. It wasn't. It was just like, can I give you a hug? Can I help you a little bit? Can I give you some inspiring words, and just like this was like the pinnacle up to that point in my life of what I had done, and like you know, it wasn't like oh you graduated cum laude, it wasn't like you were a famous model, it wasn't any of this. Just like this is what you did, like this is the thing, and then of course shown the other things that you've done that weren't you know quite as altruistic, you know, and had like little things that you did that you you could have like been kind, but you were cruel, or just absent. You know, you just chose not to do the thing. You know,
Alex Ferrari 47:51
No, this is so. Essentially, this is the life review.
Chrystal Rae 47:54
Yes,
Alex Ferrari 47:54
This is the life review. Okay, so did you feel everything that was going on? So did you feel that woman's? Yes,
Chrystal Rae 48:00
Yes. You felt, and not only did I feel it, it was like I was her.
Alex Ferrari 48:04
Right,
Chrystal Rae 48:05
I was her, and I also got to see what happened as a result of my kindness. Like she made it through. She ended up working in a in a help like a woman shelter. She found the love of her life. They have more children, and they're helping people. And like I saw this, and it's like, "Oh, that's so you know, and that's just this ripple of this one small kind act. Like, took me five minutes of my day that I just, instead of walking past, I stopped. You know, this morning when I was coming here, there was a girl sitting in Starbucks, and she was this beautiful teenage girl, probably I don't know, 18 or something, and she was like, you know, a more full figure girl, and she looked kind of goth. And I remember just feeling like she just needs a hug, you know. Like I just, so on my way out, I walk by, and I was like, "Has anyone told you how beautiful you are?
Alex Ferrari 48:55
Oh,
Chrystal Rae 48:56
Because she just and she really like her eyes lit up, and I says I just want to tell you, like you know, and these are the things like that we have the opportunity to do if we're aware that that so many times we don't do right. And one of my things in my life is since my near death experience and just just being who I am is that I get to do this. It's not like the gift is also for me that I get to be part of like that ripple, and I know how important it is. Like you know, these little random acts of kindness. It's not like oh, I'm going to give you money and you put my name on a wall. Like it's more like I'll never see you again, but I want to help you. Like I want to, I want to be that. And and so I was shown this 360 degree life review, no judgment, just deep compassion. And here's the point that you wanted to talk about: the timelines, which I call timelines. I don't know what other people call it, but for me, I was shown. Think about your life, like think about a line, and there's all these lines here. And let's say the center point. Let's just say neutral. And we'll say positive and negative, but only as only as an adjective like way to think about it, not as a judgment. All right, because for example, let's say you're here and you get cancer, so we would say cancer negative, right? But if cancer takes you closer to the divine, closer to the truth of love, is it a negative? You see what I'm saying. So that's why I say, just relatively speaking, positive and negative, right? So we have, and and you're at a certain place, Alex. Like you're on this certain trajectory of your life, and every little decision you make shifts that trajectory. And it's not the giant decisions that matter as much as this. Did you open the door for the old woman. Did you let someone in on the tollway? Were you kind when you could have been cruel? Did you stay when you could abandon? Did you tell the truth when you could have lied? Like these are the the mini little things that take you to different crossroads that are big, right? So I was shown all these different timelines, and you can't jump like from here to here. You can only really move within the resonance of your current energy state, and so you have these possible this way, possible that way, and your choices get to choose right. And so one of the things I was showing is like I had, I had so many possible exit points at this point. Like you could come back, you could be, you know, be in a wheelchair. You could come back. You could be have some mental deficiencies. You could come back.
Alex Ferrari 51:29
These were options being tossed to you.
Chrystal Rae 51:30
Yeah, they were. I had so many. I can't even tell you.
Alex Ferrari 51:33
Okay, so hold on. So this is interesting. Hold on a second. The life review. Yes. And then now the the energy that's basically you're in is saying okay. First, you do the live review, solid. Okay, you're done there up to this point. Got it. All right, great. I felt her. I felt her. Oh, I should have done that better. Got all that right. Yeah, yeah. But now it's showing you like, okay. It asks you, do you want to go back, or is it like you you have you're going back?
Chrystal Rae 51:59
It wasn't a question. It was an option. Like, here's your here's what could happen for you. You get to choose.
Alex Ferrari 52:05
Okay, so that's my question. Like, you get to choose. It's not even a question. Like, do you want to go back? It's like you're. I guess you're going back.
Chrystal Rae 52:12
No, no, no, no. It was an option. No, I could. I could have exited the planet. That was an option. I could stay. And then I said, Oh no, no. Like when they showed me exit the planet, I said, "Oh, I can't exit the planet. I have two children, and immediately with that, I was shown my children's life in completion.
Alex Ferrari 52:29
Oh, so you saw their timelines?
Chrystal Rae 52:31
Yeah, I saw that if I chose that timeline, what would happen to them
Alex Ferrari 52:36
If you left?
Chrystal Rae 52:37
And here's the surprising thing: I was like shocked because I was like, oh, I thought being a mother and a very mother hand, by the way, I was pinnacle to their success. I think all parents think this, you know. Like, but what I was shown is that they were fine without me. I saw them at my funeral. I saw them going to college, getting married, having children, without me. And I was, and they're like, so no, you don't need to stay for your children. Each soul is here for the bliss of its own experience.
Alex Ferrari 53:06
Sure.
Chrystal Rae 53:07
And so, with or without you, your children will find their bliss.
Alex Ferrari 53:10
They'll find a way.
Chrystal Rae 53:11
And I'm like, oh, okay. So, I I get to be their mom. So up to that point, I had this poor, pitiful me story. I mean, I think probably you know, I had a tough tough role of it as a child, and I had all these stuff to deal with. So, but but then I was like, and so I think I and I always wanted to be good. So I had this backpack of be good, you know. But it wasn't. It was more of a heavy weight. It wasn't like it's like I'm going to prove my mom I'm not I'm not a drug addict I'm not this I'm not that I'm not I'm not a loser like she said I was going to be but it was a heavy weight, but with this experience the gift of it is like you get to be your children's parent it's not and like you get to comb their hair you get to send them to school you get to have this this this life with them, and like like and they're fine without you. So if this is too much for you, you can just leave. And this is you know, but you get to and and it changed my relationship with my children, because it was no longer like this heavy backpack of I have to be a good parent, I have to be a good daughter, I have to be a good mother. I get to do all of this. My soul is longing for this, and so I was, I was shocked by it. So back to the timeline. So then I see that I have all these timelines, positive, negative, relatively speaking. But this is what I want to tell you. But then I see a timeline where I get to come back, and this is where the presence kind of like here is a timeline that I think you're gonna like.
Alex Ferrari 54:46
It's like it's like you're picking a movie to watch. Yes, it's fascinating.
Chrystal Rae 54:49
Yes, it's like a movie exactly. And he shows me. I say he. It was it. Yeah, sure. Yeah, it didn't have a sex, but it was a male like presence because it was so powerful. A female because it was so loving, right?
Alex Ferrari 54:49
So a shim. Yes, it's a shim.
Chrystal Rae 55:03
Yes, got it. So here is a time I think you're going to like, and he shows me that I'm going to write a book, and I'm going to tell the world that love is all that matters. And I was like, my soul just lit up. I'm like, I get to write a book about love, like, and tell the world that love is all that matters. Like it sounded, and I know it's like very cliche, but the profundity of it in that moment, I understood what that meant. Like, and I get to like be on Alex's show.
Alex Ferrari 55:35
Please don't tell me you saw me in this lime line. Okay, okay,
Chrystal Rae 55:38
But
Alex Ferrari 55:39
Because I'd be first.
Chrystal Rae 55:40
But the timeline, but the timeline led me here. You know, like sure, of course. Like if I hadn't written the book, I wouldn't be sitting here. Like this is this is like part of it. I'm sure I saw it. I don't remember it. Sure, but I'm sure I saw a lot of different things that have happened as a result. But that was what made me excited about coming back, and so I I was like, okay, and then you know that was what I wanted to do, and then suddenly I'm back in my body.
Alex Ferrari 56:05
Your experience on the other side was basically love, comfort, a being of some sort of energy, and you're and basically a life review. That was essentially the and the timelines.
Chrystal Rae 56:19
Yes, and a complete download of information.
Alex Ferrari 56:24
So explain that. What what kind of download?
Chrystal Rae 56:26
Like I said, like I like things that I can't remember now. But like, if I had a question about physics, I knew everything. Which I'm by the way I'm dyslexic, so physics wasn't something that was.
Alex Ferrari 56:35
You've heard this.
Chrystal Rae 56:36
Yeah. So like I I knew everything, and and like anything, I had a question about. I understood before I even asked a question. It was already conveyed to me, and it was such a such a loving and and I would say just not serious. Like it's not as serious as people think. You know, like this whole death thing and this whole like like creator thing and this like it was more like joyful, loving, like like you get to do this human thing and you get to go back and yeah,
Alex Ferrari 57:08
It's essentially like an actor putting on a character and coming in and like why get to go play Doctor Doom, go to go play you know Forrest Gump or something like that. It's it's fascinating and the idea that you can know everything is just a concept I've heard of many times in a lot of nearest experiences. When they're on the other side, like, "Hey, what's quantum physics? Oh, that's what it is. Instantly know like everything about it, and I call it you're being plugged into the cloud, the spiritual cloud, essentially. So you're connected to all information, and you have it instantly at your disposal, but the thing that most NDEs that have that experience come back is frustration because they can't this can't hold all of that because now you're
Chrystal Rae 57:52
And it really doesn't serve you either in the human experience.
Alex Ferrari 57:55
If you knew all of quantum physics right now, it would change the trajectory of your entire experience.
Chrystal Rae 58:00
Exactly.
Alex Ferrari 58:00
So why would you? S
Chrystal Rae 58:01
o you come in with predispositions: a certain body, a certain culture,
Alex Ferrari 58:06
Of course,
Chrystal Rae 58:07
A certain family environment, a certain
Speaker 1 58:10
Genetics,
Chrystal Rae 58:10
Genetic code, intellect. All of these are preconditions that you've chosen for your life experience. So if all of a sudden you have a whole different set of like I always wished that I could play the piano.
Alex Ferrari 58:25
Oh, I want to play the guitar.
Chrystal Rae 58:26
I want to so bad because and I'm sure in a past life I was pianist,
Alex Ferrari 58:29
Absolutely.
Chrystal Rae 58:30
But this life it wasn't like something you learn when you're a kid. Like I took lessons when I was a little older, but it's so much time that I just don't have the energy to dedicate to. Even though I say I want to, like actually, I guess I don't because I'm not willing to put the time in. But even if I did, I wouldn't be the great pianist that somebody at five is learning pianist, you know?
Alex Ferrari 58:48
Right.
Chrystal Rae 58:49
And so, but I wasn't given that because
Alex Ferrari 58:51
That part of this journey.
Chrystal Rae 58:52
Yeah, and I had a a dream one time. This is a funny dream that I dreamed about a past life where I was an accountant. I was a short, fat man, and I had like pins in my pocket, and I loved like drinking wine and doing difficult algorithms, right? Difficult accounting, and so and and that life, I remember my death exit point. I was looking in the mirror, and I went like that, and I had like a big jiggle. And I'm like, and as I was dying, I said the reason my life sucked is because I wasn't born a beautiful blonde, and I came into this physical embodiment. And I have to say, I have to say that I'm really grateful for this body because it's been a really good body. You know, I think of my body.
Alex Ferrari 59:41
It's a good car. It's a good car. It's a model.
Chrystal Rae 59:43
More like a pet.
Alex Ferrari 59:44
Okay.
Chrystal Rae 59:45
I think of my body as like a pet. Like I take really good. I have like I love animals. Like I'm surrounded by animals. Sure. But I I take really good care of my animals and my pets. And like I I feel like I've taken good care of my body because I'm just really grateful. And I and. I went to an acupuncturist once because everyone in the yoga community thinks that you should know about acupuncture, and I'm like I'm I'm kind of an anomaly because I love glamor. I think I was a 1920s movie star in Buckingham because I love glamor, but I'm very spiritual. Like so, I have
Alex Ferrari 1:00:19
Those are two very different energies.
Chrystal Rae 1:00:21
Yeah,and you know, when I first started, like with yoga, like I, you know, like when people get into yoga, sometimes they like they go to India, which I did. I I spent many many months in India with many different gurus, and you know, they're wearing mala beads and white clothing and this and that, and it was like this feels so inauthentic to me. And I think one of the main things that that is important for you and like you wearing this baseball hat and you know this is you like you're not trying to be pretentious or like spiritual or
Alex Ferrari 1:00:51
I'm not dressed like the emperor of the universe
Chrystal Rae 1:00:53
No you're not but you're dressed like Alex and Alex is a beautiful soul and so I I I decided that I would give myself permission to be me, and that doesn't mean that that eliminates the spiritual part of me. What that means is that I will have a certain audience that will understand what I'm talking about. Like you get to be you. Like I love being a you know woman. I love being Crystal Ray. I love this life, but I'm a very spiritual girl. So anyway, I went to India and I had all these experiences, but I came back with the realization, like I, I was, I'm not going to be inauthentic. I'm going to tell the truth, you know, from the very young age. I was like, all right, you can baptize me again, but I'm not going to lie. This is this is it. So to the near death experience, which is, I haven't even gotten into what's like the meaty part of it,
Alex Ferrari 1:01:40
Really. There's more. Okay, so so real quick, when you got back into your body, did you get slammed back into your body? Did you just wake up in your body, and did you start feeling everything that happened to your body?
Chrystal Rae 1:01:56
This is miraculous, truthfully. Nobody goes off of a 80 foot cliff, hits 25 feet, slips 10 times, and ends up alive. Like that's insane.
Alex Ferrari 1:02:06
But how about everybody else in the car?
Chrystal Rae 1:02:08
I'll tell you. Okay. But you go to a stoplight and get hit. You can die. Like you can walk down the street and you can die. Like
Alex Ferrari 1:02:13
Fall. You can fall in your garden, hit your head. You're done. In the
Chrystal Rae 1:02:16
In the bathtub. Like it happens. There's somebody every day. Yeah.
Alex Ferrari 1:02:18
Every day.
Chrystal Rae 1:02:19
So, so I end up. I wake up in an upside down jeep, right? We're in a little jeep, and the wheels are still spinning. The lights are on the wall of ice in front of us that we hit, and the guy next to me, the driver of the car, is full of blood. But he says he's okay, and Carmen is silent or absent? I have no idea. I'm shocked because go back in time, rewind. I'm in this luminous presence, and I'm given the light for you, and I was shown three different things, which I don't know why, but I'll share them with you. One first thing is like here's three things that you need to know. First of all, you've never really smelled freshly cut grass, which of course I had, right? Like I have, and and then I had that aroma, that earthiness, and I think the metaphor here or the lesson here was like the gratitude for Mother Earth, like just to be here on this planet, and you never have really reached out and touched somebody, like truly touched them. Like, of course, I had I had two children, right, and I combed their hair and so on and so forth, and and but the gift of being able to connect in a physical way, which we don't have when we're in our light bodies, right? Like, like if I meet you, like I met you and and and your beautiful wife, like it's a hug. Like I I connect, you know, in that way. And I and I'm not sure why I was showing you, but I showed that this was the most poignant thing of like, you know, being able to connect in a human way. And I've heard a lot of gurus say, like, even though you don't want people to get their dirty energy on you or something like that, I don't like that idea. And for me, it doesn't work. I'm not going to judge anyone else, because what I believe is that we're all the same. Like you are me and I am you, and if they have dirty energy, that's my energy too. And I and I also believe that I don't take on anything that it won't be in my residence if it's not in alignment with me. Anyway, so I had these these things like you've never really touched anyone, you've never really smelled freshly cut grass
Alex Ferrari 1:04:41
Because it's mental.
Chrystal Rae 1:04:43
No, this is this is like a whole movie.
Alex Ferrari 1:04:46
But this is in
Chrystal Rae 1:04:47
In the
Alex Ferrari 1:04:47
Oh, in the other space. Got it. Yeah, the other side. The other side. Yeah, got it.
Chrystal Rae 1:04:50
And then suddenly, I'm like, there's this this knowing that I'm like I'm dead or whatever. I don't know how to explain it.
Alex Ferrari 1:05:00
On the other side.
Chrystal Rae 1:05:00
On the other side, and I'm like, okay. So all of this is so beautiful. Oh, the other part I didn't mention is I've never seen the sun rise or set.
Alex Ferrari 1:05:10
Had you never seen?
Chrystal Rae 1:05:11
Of course I had.
Alex Ferrari 1:05:12
Oh, okay.
Chrystal Rae 1:05:12
Yes, of course. But I was shown like kind of the metaphors like you you've been absent in your own life.
Alex Ferrari 1:05:18
I got it.
Chrystal Rae 1:05:18
And then the metaphor of the the sun rising and setting is the the beauty of a new day, like the gift of a new day, and then also like how important night is, because night is where we rest, you know, where we without without sleep we wouldn't make it in this planet. Because I think we leave our bodies and go somewhere else. But anyway, so then at the end of that, then I was like, "Well, that's beautiful. That's nice, but it's too late for me because I mean, I'm rolling down a cliff. I'm dead.
Alex Ferrari 1:05:47
I'm dying or dead.
Chrystal Rae 1:05:48
I'm dying or I'm dead. So it's too late for me. And I remember thinking, because I don't have fear of death, well, at least I'm getting to go back into the light. That was my last thought. I'm going to the light, and I was kind of excited about it. I'm not going to lie. I was like, okay, well, it was almost like like all these things I was shown that I hadn't really seen or done that were available to me. It's just like simple things, like you know, just seeing a little yellow flower stuck in the grass that you don't even see it. You just you've seen it so many times that you don't see it. Like one of the questions I always ask my my students is like, how many trees are out in front of our studio? Nobody ever knows because they don't see it. And one of the the gifts of that experience was like to just to be more present. But I'm like, okay, so it's too late for me. I'm going to go into the light. I was excited, and then to your question, I awoke in my body upside down. He is, you know, covered in blood. She's absent, and I
Alex Ferrari 1:06:50
You say absent, meaning that she's in the bod. In in
Chrystal Rae 1:06:52
I had no idea where she was.
Alex Ferrari 1:06:53
Oh, you didn't see. I couldn't
Chrystal Rae 1:06:54
I couldn't see her. Got it. I have no idea, and to this day, I still don't know where. If she was in the car, out the car, I'm not even sure. But I couldn't see her. It was dark, and I remember I was like, "Oh my God, I'm alive! I get to be my.
Alex Ferrari 1:07:06
Are you feeling in pain?
Chrystal Rae 1:07:07
No, Alex. I miraculously came out of there. I had, and I'll tell you the story about the broken neck. But I had a broken neck, and that was it. But no, I'm. I feel fine. I I climb up this 80 foot cliff. Wow! And I'm not like you know a mountain climber girl, but I climb up the cliff and and I'm so excited that I'm alive. And I get up to the top of the mountain, and there's this huge line of cars and people looking forward, and they're like, "Do you know what happened? I'm like, "Yes. There's my my cousins down there. There's another person down there. So they send like a stretcher. I think you're going to need a stretcher. They send a stretcher down the mountain, and they
Alex Ferrari 1:07:49
They get the rest of it.
Chrystal Rae 1:07:50
Yeah, and and then they bring them up. But meanwhile, I'm like, if you touch me, or if you get close to me, I know your deepest fear and sorrow.
Alex Ferrari 1:07:59
You knew this already.
Chrystal Rae 1:08:00
No, of anybody who came close to me
Alex Ferrari 1:08:02
No but so you discovered that
Chrystal Rae 1:08:04
No it happened right there and then
Alex Ferrari 1:08:05
So you discovered that like
Chrystal Rae 1:08:06
Yes
Alex Ferrari 1:08:07
It wasn't a knowing you just like oh
Chrystal Rae 1:08:10
Yeah I'm like wait what and I knew that and I had this premonition that somebody was stealing my purse and it was a guy with I know I have just got out this car, and he's in there stealing my purse, which was horrific to me because I had my airline ticket, my credit cards. I was that was my ticket home, and I wanted home, right?
Alex Ferrari 1:08:29
And how did you feel that?
Chrystal Rae 1:08:31
No, I saw like a like you to your point. It was like a movie that I saw this guy with with rubber boots running, and he had my my purse, and I kept telling people, please get my purse because I couldn't force myself to go back down there. I just couldn't, and so they they bring my cousin up on a who was the most critically injured, by the way, and we'll get into that. And they brought the driver up, and then she gets air flighted, and we go in ambulances, I believe. We get to the hospital, and I don't even know how we get there because I think I'm still in shock. I mean, this is a traumatic experience. Like it's not only are you just been thrown off the cliff out of your body, had the spiritual experience. People are stealing your purse. You are freezing because I'm always freezing, and I'm freezing, and I'm in shock, so I get to the hospital, and we came in, and then they bring Carmen in, and there was this male nurse, and he starts to like, you know, berate us. Were you drinking? Were you doing drugs? And I'm like, I don't even drink. Like they had one glass of wine, but nobody was drunk, and I was like, no. And they said a woman came in yesterday. This is what this guy said to me, and she had less injuries than your cousin, and she's dead. And that's manslaughter. That's what he said to me. Wow. And we need to get like a blood test or whatever. And I'm like, what? And like, I'm like, she's gonna die. And this is where it gets. Really groovy, but I'm going to share it anyway.
Alex Ferrari 1:10:02
Please.
Chrystal Rae 1:10:03
So then I kind of push my way into where I
Alex Ferrari 1:10:05
With a broken neck.
Chrystal Rae 1:10:05
Okay, I'll talk about the broken neck. So I'm just wondering. Yes, so I push my way in, and nobody knows about the broken yet. Not yet, of course. Okay, so I push my way in, and then I I see Carmen on the gurney, and I put my hand on her, and literally a bolt of lightning goes through the top of my head and through my hands, and ripples through Carmen right there in front of everybody. And I'm like, oh, she's going to be okay. And I was just calm. I was like, oh, she's going to be okay. She was still in coma, she was still out, but I knew she was going. And then that moment, that guy, the nurse, grabs my arm, and when he did, he pulled me because I'm not supposed to be in the.
Alex Ferrari 1:10:45
Wow, this guy's a winner.
Chrystal Rae 1:10:46
He's not a nice guy, but when he does, I see like a video of him the night before beating his girlfriend or wife or whoever.
Alex Ferrari 1:10:54
There it is.
Chrystal Rae 1:10:55
And then I was like, like it was like horrified, and I pulled away, and I was like, "This is too much for me. So I ran to the bathroom and I literally just went into the corner. I was like, "Just don't anyone touch me, you know. And and then finally, this woman came in, a nurse, and she said, "We need to X-ray you because I said my neck does hurt.
Alex Ferrari 1:11:13
I got a kink.
Chrystal Rae 1:11:15
No, but it gets even weirder. Like this is like a crazy story. It's so crazy that it's almost hard for me to believe, but it happened to me, you know. So then they, I'm in there, and so she said, I said, I'll come out as long as that man is not there. And she said, okay. She was really kind. She gave me a warm blanket. Thank you for the warm blanket. And then they took me into X-rays, and then they took the first X-ray of my neck, and they came back and they said you have a broken neck, and I said, "Oh no, no, no, that wasn't on my timeline. That's I didn't see that. That was not on my timeline, and I said, "You need to take that again. And here's the thing: broken neck was very close option for me. I think that's why that kind of drifted over, if that makes sense. And then they took the second, third, and fourth. No break,
Alex Ferrari 1:12:03
No break,
Chrystal Rae 1:12:04
No break. And they made me sign paperwork saying they're not responsible if my neck is broken. They couldn't explain it. They wanted me to stay the night, and I said, "I'm not staying the night. There's no break. You can't make me stay. I'm not staying. I want to go home.
Alex Ferrari 1:12:18
You get no other injuries.
Chrystal Rae 1:12:20
I had a severe, my neck. I could turn like this for a year and a half. So I guess it was a whip flash, is what they would call it. Yeah, you had whiplash. Yeah, but when what I did is I put my hand on my neck, and when I did, I had that same energy, and then I felt. I I mean, I think I just healed my neck in that moment, and I was like, "You need to take that again.
Alex Ferrari 1:12:45
Wow.
Chrystal Rae 1:12:45
Yeah. And it it was so like profound.
Alex Ferrari 1:12:50
Well, let me ask you a question. So it seems like, and this has happened with a lot of near death experiencers. It also happens with babies, and also people who are about to die. As the closer you are to the veil, certain things open up, and certain things come through. So a lot of young children remember their past lives and talk about it, and they can see imaginary friends and all that kind of stuff, which are guides or whatever. So it seemed that like you just came back from dying. You were still kind of close, time-wise, to what just happened. So I guess that doorway was oh, because I'm assuming now, and I'm just assuming now you don't touch somebody and lightning goes through you, or does it? I'm just I'm just ask. I'm just I'm just getting clear on.
Chrystal Rae 1:13:37
So I didn't want any of these gifts. Okay, so I'm I'm going to continue, and you'll see what happens. So, so I go home. I finally make my way home. I had to call my ex husband to come and save me. Thank you, God. He's such a good guy. He he came and to my. I have no money. I have no purse. I have none. I'm like, I'm on a trip with another man. Like I just like, please, can you send me ticket? Can you anyway? I finally get home, but I have the weirdest things happening. Like I can't. Noise is magnified. Sound is magnified. Light is magnified. I can't. Like I close my curtains. I I literally. I started seeing auras around people.
Alex Ferrari 1:14:18
Everything was wide open,
Chrystal Rae 1:14:19
And I didn't even know what the word aura was, like I had no idea what was going on. I thought I was literally losing my mind. I'm like, I didn't want anyone touching me because if they did, I knew everything about them, and I felt like it was invasive, and I didn't want to know. And yeah, does that still exist? I have learned how to shut that door because it's not. It wasn't my life path to be a psychic, or and and people say, well, can you still heal, or can you still do that? I'm like, we're all healers. Like, I could probably do that if that's what the energy of the universe wanted me to do, but that's not my goal in this lifetime. My my goal is to come back and write a book and tell people about love, which we haven't even got to. But so for. These next two weeks, I'm locked up, and I said, "I need to get out of my. I have children to raise. I have a life to live. I need to figure out what to do. So then I said, "I'm going to go visit Carmen. Now Carmen had 90% brain damage.
Alex Ferrari 1:15:12
Oh my god!
Chrystal Rae 1:15:14
And
Alex Ferrari 1:15:15
Is she okay now?
Chrystal Rae 1:15:16
A miraculous story. Okay, miraculous story. So I go back to the hospital, and her mom is Catholic and very devout Catholic. And so I go in and I see Carmen, and Carmen, like I said, is beautiful, but that was not the woman I saw laying in this bed. Right when I walked in, her eyes were she broke every bone in her face, her eye sockets included. She had rubber bands holding her teeth, and it was, it was scary. It was like, and so I calmed myself down. I said, "Crystal, I literally talked to myself in third person. This is your cousin Carmen, and you love her. So I walk over to the bed. I calm myself down. Her mom is there, and there's there, doctor there. She's in a coma, and I put my hands on her. And Alex, she opens her eyes.
Alex Ferrari 1:16:08
Okay.
Chrystal Rae 1:16:09
She opens her eyes. She sits up. Wow. She gets out of bed. She has her little. She's insistent to get out, and she comes over to me. And this is the most beautiful thing that's ever happened to me? She said, "Crystal, I'm in the light. I'm gleaming. I've never been so radiant. I am a star. Wow! Now you remember my childhood story?
Alex Ferrari 1:16:34
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You were all stars. Yeah.
Chrystal Rae 1:16:36
I am star. She gets back in her bed and goes back into coma. Her mom, her doctor, the nurse was like, "What just happened? I have no idea what just happened. I'm like, "Okay, and I mean, I I was just so I knew that affirmation was for me, and I was so grateful to the universe. And so then I came back a couple more times. Next time she sat up in her bed, and she said, "She's in coma. She said, "Don't forget, you're going to write a book and tell the world that love is all that matters. And in that book, one thing I forgot to mention is when I was in the presence and given the option of the timeline of the book, he said, "Don't. He told me, or she, or it, including your book, that sound and light is the future of medicine, and like okay, so she sits up in her bed and says, "You want to write a book and don't forget to include sound and light is the future of medicine, and she goes back into coma, and I'm like, "What is going on?
Alex Ferrari 1:17:39
And she's having her own experience.
Chrystal Rae 1:17:41
no, she told me that she had three beings of light.
Alex Ferrari 1:17:44
Oh wow, so she had her own near death experience
Chrystal Rae 1:17:45
While she was there, and that they were. They told her that they had been with her for all her
Alex Ferrari 1:17:50
Lives
Chrystal Rae 1:17:50
In her lives, and they were. She was going to be okay, and that's just a whole different story. She doesn't. She doesn't remember what she said to me when she was. Now she's at a different place in her life. Anyway, that's a different story. But anyhow, so I I go back, and then next time I come to visit Karma, I was uninvited by her mom. She was like, they thought I was doing some kind of like poltergeist or something.
Alex Ferrari 1:18:13
Oh Jesus!
Chrystal Rae 1:18:14
And I'm like,
Alex Ferrari 1:18:16
good lord,
Chrystal Rae 1:18:18
I know. So I'm like, okay. So I was uninvited, but I started to, you know, really explore what all of these gifts were of like, and how to like shut the energy down, and you know, I started to learn. I had this experience, Ali, where I was sitting, I was watching. I don't know if you've seen this movie called The Veil Is Lifting. It's about orbs. You need to watch it.
Alex Ferrari 1:18:40
Where's?
Chrystal Rae 1:18:41
It's called "The Veil Is Lifting, and it's about orbs.
Alex Ferrari 1:18:44
Is it is that a documentary?
Chrystal Rae 1:18:46
It's a documentary, and it's an older one. But I was watching actually, I was watching this YouTube channel about near death experience, and there was this woman filming her her mom dying, and this woman had these beautiful sparkling lights and orbs all around, and it was just fascinating. And and she was like taking this video of it, and and I'm I didn't get to this. I should tell you how I got to this. I'm sitting there watching this movie about near death experiences. I hear a noise in my kitchen. I'm a single woman. I have cameras everywhere, right? Because I had children. But at this point, the kids were gone. But I go and check my cameras, so I see myself walking in the kitchen, and I see these three lights following me, orbs, and I have no context for what an orb is. And I'm like, okay, well that's dust on the camera. But then I notice as I walk out of the room,
Alex Ferrari 1:19:39
Different angles have the same orbs.
Chrystal Rae 1:19:40
They follow me,
Alex Ferrari 1:19:41
Sure.
Chrystal Rae 1:19:41
And I walk back in. They follow me. So now I'm like, you know, looking on my computer. What is this light following me? Like I thought it was like estutalest. I have no idea what this is, right? And then the word orb came up, and that's when I look for orbs, and that's when I find this lady filming her mother. So I'm like. Fascinated by the fact that I have these three orbs following me around, so there's all these really metaphysical things, and I'm, you know, I don't have a shingle hanging out, and I never got my cards read, and you know, like all of the stuff wasn't like part of my, of my, my, my world, and so then I, I said, okay, I'm going to feel myself meditating. I don't know if you've ever done this.
Alex Ferrari 1:20:24
I've actually never filmed myself meditating.
Chrystal Rae 1:20:26
Okay, so I I filmed myself meditating, and you have to do it with your camera, not in selfie mode, but like your camera camera in a dark room, and like I have these orbs all around me when I'm meditating, but they only show up on the camera. So you should try.
Alex Ferrari 1:20:41
I will. That's actually really interesting.
Chrystal Rae 1:20:43
It's really, really fascinating. Here's the thing: if you have fear, any fear, they won't. Because you're what's happening is you're aligning with a higher vibrational resonance. So you have to be aligned with that. But anyway, so that that happened, and then then you know you have to decide what are you going to do with this. Like, what am I? How am I going to do? So then I, I signed up for classes in college. I was like, all right, if I'm going to write a book, let me take some writing classes.
Alex Ferrari 1:21:11
Orb 101. No. Orb 101. Orbs 101.
Chrystal Rae 1:21:15
And remember, my first class, a guy said, 'There's no empty space in the universe. They've just discovered this thing called dark matter. I mean, the universe is so beautiful because this is what something I was as a child, right? So, and I said, well, I'm just going to get a non-degree seeking, you know,
Alex Ferrari 1:21:32
Some courses.
Chrystal Rae 1:21:32
But I made straight A's, and so my one of and I became teacher's pet because I was like as old as the teachers. I was 35 and I was back in school, and and I said one of my teachers was a really good friend of mine who's now passed, but he was like Crystal, you should just get your degree because you're making straight A's, and I'm like, yeah, but that would include math.
Alex Ferrari 1:21:50
Oh, thank you.
Chrystal Rae 1:21:52
You're welcome.
Alex Ferrari 1:21:53
Thank you. I hate. I can't.
Chrystal Rae 1:21:54
I'm dyslexic.
Alex Ferrari 1:21:55
I can't stand math.
Chrystal Rae 1:21:56
Math is is is really stylish. Yeah. So he said, just take some elementary classes, which I did twice, and I think I made 1b in college, which I call sadistics.
Alex Ferrari 1:22:06
It is sadistics.
Chrystal Rae 1:22:07
Sadistics, but anyway, so I got my degree just because, and then I wrote my first book, which was never published because this was more of a book, and it was like me as a child and going through all these like, like some horrible stories like that happen and how it had served me as an adult, you know, like those stories. Like one vivid scene I have from a child is my real father. I don't know what I did, but I did something wrong, and he took my head and dunked it underwater in a bathtub until I passed out, and then just left me on the floor like that's not normal childhood punishment, you know. No, no. But I remember like when I was under the water looking at the at the drain and thinking, I wish I could just disappear. And so that book had a lot of those kind of horror stories where I would reflect back, and it was a lot of crying going on.
Alex Ferrari 1:23:00
You just needed to get it out.
Chrystal Rae 1:23:02
I had to get out, but when I read it, it was so dark that I'm like, "This is not going to help anyone.
Alex Ferrari 1:23:06
This is just me vomiting.
Chrystal Rae 1:23:06
It's just me. Yeah, and it's not. It helped you. It was just for you. It's not even true. Like, like this whole thing that gets into like the truth of my existence is that I chose this so that I would understand children that have been abused, that have been abandoned, and that people who have problem with addictions. I've been surrounded by people who have addictions. I've never had it, but I have my mom on addiction. My daughter, I almost lost to drugs and alcohol, which she's been sober for like eight years, and she's like beautiful, radiant being doing her thing. But like, like I am a pinnacle point, so I think you come in sometimes as a bodhisattva, meaning that you and I think this one of the things that you do is that you're the pinnacle point where you help people to heal, because you facilitate all this wisdom and knowledge through your show, and I think my presence I've been really able to help so many people heal through my practice, through my mentorship, and just through my beingness. Like this little girl I saw at Starbucks. Like those are significant things. Like those are what really matter in life. You know. Yes, the big things matter, but like this everydayness. This how can we truly love one another in a real human way, not like just floating up and being in an orb-filled world of meditation, right? Which is beautiful. I'm not saying, but can you just be real? Can you be human? And I think one of the gifts that that I have that I came back with that that I want to share with the planet that is, you know, I always start with the thing like when I see someone, I know that I love them. Like I saw you, I love you. Like I love your wife, I love your children who haven't met. I love this little girl I just saw. But it's the kind of love. Like people are like, yeah, whatever. You don't even know me. I don't need to know you because I love your soul.
Alex Ferrari 1:24:57
Well, you're seeing the truth. The truth. The light. Yeah, we are all connected. We're all one.
Chrystal Rae 1:25:02
And so, but then it's not just this esoteric kind of love. It's like in a human way. I see your fragileness. I see your shadows. I see your light. And if my presence in your life, and I think this is a real gift of coming back. Like yes, it's very interesting. All these near death experiences. By the way, I know people are curious about Carmen, so I should finish that story. Carmen had 18 operations on her face. She was never the raving beauty that she was, but she's beautiful. She came miraculous. Came out of that where they said she'd never be able to walk again, talking. She's normal. She has almost 90% of her intellect back. She was a beautifully. She became the lead clarinetist, not just the clarinetist for the Dallas Opera. She has her own like real estate company. Met the love of her life. Like her, her life is fine.
Alex Ferrari 1:25:55
Her timeline is fantastic.
Chrystal Rae 1:25:57
Her timeline fine.
Alex Ferrari 1:25:58
How did she deal with you in this,
Chrystal Rae 1:26:01
Well, in the beginning it was hard, and I don't blame her for this because she had her mother's influence. But she was like, "Life sucks, and bad things happen to nice people. That was her philosophy, and we just kind of went, you know, because I was like, "Not that's
Alex Ferrari 1:26:15
That's not what I know. That's not my experience.
Chrystal Rae 1:26:17
That's my truth, and I'm not judging her for that experience because I didn't break every bone in my face. Oh no! I mean, I didn't have you know like her her stuff was it was hard. So and she's you know evolved since then. You guys have come back literally when I wrote the book because as I said, people like people who are really attached to details can get a little irritated with me because I'm not I can't re. I don't have a grasp on time, so I called Carmen. I was like, "Hey, Carmen, when did this happen? Like, tell me the date, because people are going to ask me, and I don't. I didn't write it down on my calendar. It was like February 23, 1997. That's when this happened. But I mean, I have a hard time remembering even that date because it's you know, and so I had lunch with her and we talked about it. And go, can you show me the medical paper? Do you know like, like because people want somehow they want some kind of proof of all this, all this kind of stuff. So I'm like, okay, let me do that if I'm going to write the book. So I did that. I had that with her, and and she's doing fine. It made me really happy, and I love her, and she's happy. So that's the Carmen story, right? So moving on, like I go through all of this stuff. I, you know, go through college, graduate, write the book, and here I am sitting with you, you know, sharing my my story. I'm so grateful for that.
Alex Ferrari 1:27:37
Well, thank you.
Chrystal Rae 1:27:37
I really am.
Alex Ferrari 1:27:39
This has been a hell of a journey, but I have to ask you. So, so you what did what were the abilities that you came back with that you either have dulled or turned off completely, or that you may have embraced in this?
Chrystal Rae 1:27:58
I think the most important thing I came back with, without a doubt is ability to to really see and love the human experience and the human part of of what's happening here. Yes, metaphysical experiences. Yes, orbs are part of my daily existence when I meditate. I feel like they're soul family. I think because my childhood was so hard that I felt really lonely,
Alex Ferrari 1:28:25
And they were there,
Chrystal Rae 1:28:26
And they were there, and they come to like help and.
Alex Ferrari 1:28:29
But with the stuff that in regards to like touching people and knowing everything about them, and
Chrystal Rae 1:28:34
So that was something I learned to stop. First of all,
Alex Ferrari 1:28:38
You don't do it at all now, or can you turn it on and off. I'm just curious.
Chrystal Rae 1:28:42
I mean, I could probably turn it on, but I don't want to. I try not to. Sometimes like things come through, but I really don't want to. And it's really funny when anyone hears it. I always feel I can feel them like pulling back.
Alex Ferrari 1:28:54
No, I'm the opposite. I'm like, uh huh.
Chrystal Rae 1:28:56
But they're pulling back. They don't what they don't want me to know. You know.
Alex Ferrari 1:29:01
No.
Chrystal Rae 1:29:01
And it's like, okay, listen, we're all human. Like you can just relax, you know. So, it's like I, I really, that's not the path that I want. But I do feel like I am a healer. I, I facilitate a healing sound bath every Friday night, which I've been doing almost for 30 years now. And what I do is I have, like, I chant. I feel like there's healing
Alex Ferrari 1:29:25
In, of course,
Chrystal Rae 1:29:26
In your resonance of your voice. Even my book, I read my own book because I feel like there's a healing resonance in the in the in the voice. So I do a crystal balls, a gong, mini instruments, but mainly it's the intention of just sharing love, and I've had some pretty miraculous thing happen with people that have come to the sound baths and healings, and but it's not like I'm trying to heal them. I'm I'm just giving them love.
Alex Ferrari 1:29:52
Well, let me ask you then: Why do you believe that if it's something that you're not actually using in this life, why were you given that? What's the purpose? Of that in your journey, if you're given these kind of abilities, like being able to touch somebody and really know them, you know, and healing power, which you still use, or any of these kind of clairs that come up, why were you given those abilities if they're not truly helping you? That you've had to cut them, like shut them down. What's the? I'm curious.
Chrystal Rae 1:30:21
Did you ever see the movie?
Alex Ferrari 1:30:22
Yes, go ahead. I've seen them all. Yes,
Chrystal Rae 1:30:26
The Dead Zone,
Alex Ferrari 1:30:27
Of course. Okay, yes, Stephen King. Yeah,
Chrystal Rae 1:30:28
So the Dead Zone, I guess, would answer that. So in that movie, he he had these powers, right? Like he he could help find people, and he had premonitions and all that stuff, right? And there was like a door that opened, but the more that door opened, the less human he was, or less present he was.
Alex Ferrari 1:30:47
Because you're connected more to the other side than he is.
Chrystal Rae 1:30:49
Yes, and and one of my goals here in this life, like it's important for me, I think, to to know about my soul family and to have these gifts. But I want to connect on human to human, and I don't want to be, and and I don't know if it served me or not served me to help in a way. I think my presence is healing, and I think there's people who are better suited for that kind of life. Why it was given to me, it's kind of like why are you born with the talent to play the piano or whatever? Like if if you hate playing the piano, and like for someone like me who would love to pay, I'm not given. But we're given what we're supposed to have, and I think it's a part of me. Like I don't think that it's an objective of mine to go out and do healings. It's more of an objective of mine to go out and tell people, hey, you are loved unconditionally, and and the miraculous thing is that there's a human being that has had three near-death experiences that came back that found you that said you are loved, and you are not alone, and you are held in such kindness and grace that there's no words to even, and that's my gift to you. The healing will come when you recognize who you really are, which is a divine being having a spiritual experience for the bliss of it. One of the things I was told by this presence to say is to tell everyone that I met each soul is here for the bliss of its own existence, and that means you, you, the person hearing, and that that that changed me because me my life up to that point had been a heavy backpack. I didn't see it as blissful. Now I see even like
Alex Ferrari 1:32:30
Even the rocks, even
Chrystal Rae 1:32:32
Even the rocks. Like I'm so grateful to be me. I'm so grateful. I love my mother. I know she probably signed up. She said, "I'll come in with some addictions. I'll be the one to really challenge you. I'll be the one to like. Yeah, you know. I'll do that. And so I, I'm not saying that her what she did to me was okay because there was a lot of abuse. I'm not saying that behavior is okay, but the love that spurred it. Like I believe, and I truly believe that we had a divine contract and that she fulfilled her part perfectly, and it made me a person, a better person. Maybe I would have been like a totally like snobby little. Well, if you were born
Alex Ferrari 1:33:13
Well, if you were born in a very less loving relationship, and everyone's like, "You're the best, and what do you want to do? You that takes you to a completely other.
Chrystal Rae 1:33:22
I mean, I think I had the perfect family, and yeah,
Alex Ferrari 1:33:26
Warts and all.
Chrystal Rae 1:33:27
Yeah, and it's funny because I asked my mom, "When you die, I want to see a sign. My mom has a sense of humor, so my dad calls me. Right, my mom has passed away. She had a sudden heart attack, and my stepdad calls me, and he's like, "We were heading to the hospital, and your mom didn't make it. I'm like, oh well, what do you mean? Where did you leave her? Did you drop her off? No, and then he says Alex, and then he says he's like she expired. I'm like, my mom expired, and I'm like, I finally got it. I'm like, oh, he's because he's a he's a physics major, you know, like he doesn't really, yeah. And I'm looking out the window, and there's a dead red bird right on my porch, which I've never seen before since. And I'm like, okay, that's my mother. She is funny because she loved red birds.
Alex Ferrari 1:34:14
The red bird is. She loved the little. The red bird is.
Chrystal Rae 1:34:16
And yeah. And so I'm like, okay. I mean, it was shocking and sad and all the stuff. I'm being light of it right now because it was like a shock. And because you know, if someone's sick, it's it's easier.
Alex Ferrari 1:34:27
Yeah, but when it's like that.
Chrystal Rae 1:34:28
Yeah, when she's she seemed perfectly healthy. I had no idea, expired.
Alex Ferrari 1:34:34
So, Chrystal, let me ask you: When you were on the other side looking at these timelines, do you remember any of the other option timelines that you could have gone down.
Chrystal Rae 1:34:41
Well, I did remember the one where my kids were at my funeral.
Alex Ferrari 1:34:44
That one. So that
Chrystal Rae 1:34:45
I remember that. I also saw one where I was in a wheelchair. I saw another one where I came in and that I had some mental problems. But Alex, what's fascinating is that there was millions of timelines, like billions. Like there are so many times of you. Even imagine like this is not just this or that. This is this or an infinity of choices
Alex Ferrari 1:35:06
With this character of Chrystal
Chrystal Rae 1:35:08
With this particular character.
Alex Ferrari 1:35:10
that opens up another door that I would love to down to go into because you're you've you've been there. You've been on the other side. So my understanding and my belief was from the research I've done, is that we're all on a timeline, right? And that timeline, there are like you said, those little decisions move you in a certain kind of way. But if all of a sudden tomorrow, it's like you know what? I really want to be an astronaut. I'm going to go to astronaut school. Now, generally, I I failed math. I'm not good at certain things, probably not really. Or let's ask her. I want to be an NBA player. I'm 52. I think it should work out fine. So I start trying to, you know, and then of course,
Chrystal Rae 1:35:52
Well, we started this right with the predisposition.
Alex Ferrari 1:35:55
Right. So, but let's say, well, that's going to take my timeline into a, you know, completely different. Let's
Chrystal Rae 1:36:00
Let's say something more realistic? Okay, let's say tomorrow I want to be a librarian.
Alex Ferrari 1:36:04
Yeah, I could be a librarian.
Chrystal Rae 1:36:06
I'm going to be a librarian tomorrow. It's possible. It's within your timeline. All right.
Alex Ferrari 1:36:09
Oh, absolutely.
Chrystal Rae 1:36:10
But that's going to change
Alex Ferrari 1:36:11
Everything.
Chrystal Rae 1:36:12
Everything.
Alex Ferrari 1:36:13
Right. So, from my understanding, is that there's not only this timeline, but there is literally infinite variations of what Alex can be
Chrystal Rae 1:36:22
Brings us back to what we talked about earlier. Remember about you could open the door or you could just leave.
Alex Ferrari 1:36:29
So my question to you then, from looking at it from your point of view, if there is literally endless variations of timelines, the multiverse, if you will, parallel worlds or parallel experiences with this character of Alex, and with that character of Chrystal, is that what's happening? Like so, right now there's two different versions of us where you're the host and I'm the guest. I've had the near death experience and you're the one that's sitting over here with a baseball cap. Let's say that that's the way it works, right? Because if there's infinite variations, there is a world that that exists, you know, and that you you are next level soul, and I am I am crystal writing two different things. So, from your understanding, is that what happens to the soul's experience? Like, are we literally experiencing as a soul at the top level, the observer saying, "Okay, I want Alex. I'm going to come in as Alex, but we're going to. I'm I'm experiencing all of those lifetimes and all of those lifetimes, and I'm just happy to be focused on this one right now.
Chrystal Rae 1:37:33
You're in residence with this
Alex Ferrari 1:37:33
With this one right now, but all those are happening at the exact same time. Is that your understanding?
Chrystal Rae 1:37:39
What my understanding is a little bit different. All the timelines are in completion, like everything has already happened. Right, everything.
Alex Ferrari 1:37:46
There's no past. There's no future.
Chrystal Rae 1:37:48
No, and so what's happening is you're in residence with this particular. Yes, those timelines are in completion. Even this time is incompletion. We're experiencing it because it's bringing us joy to experience it. But everything is in completion. But if we shift our residence either higher or lower, then we have a different timeline that's already in completion. But now we're experiencing it. So the incompletion thing, I think, is really important because nothing new in the universe. So God, let's-I don't like the word God, but let's say the the Creator, the Source, whatever you want to call, is complete, and we are an aspect of that. But there is nothing new you can add to to God. Okay,
Alex Ferrari 1:38:29
You're not surprised at God.
Chrystal Rae 1:38:30
There's nothing new to be added, right? Right. But we are an expression of that divine force, and we have come into existence because it brings that which is most beautiful will even even Hitler, and that's a horrible thing to say, will come into existence for the benefit of the individual and the benefit of all, and it's an experience. So that timeline, like for example, let's say you want to save the wells, okay? Do you think God couldn't save the wells? And by the way, if you need, if your soul wants to save wells, there needs to be wells that need to be saved. If you want to be a doctor, there needs to be sick people,
Alex Ferrari 1:39:07
Right! If not, this doesn't work.
Chrystal Rae 1:39:09
And no, it doesn't work. And we're veiled from the truth of our our existence so that we can have these experiences. Because imagine like knowing everything about an apple, like the the anatomy of an apple, the skin, the taste. You write poetry about it. You know the you know biology,
Alex Ferrari 1:39:28
The variation.
Chrystal Rae 1:39:29
Yeah, all you know everything. But you've never even bitten into an apple. Do you know it? So I think here we're just as analogy, we're biting into the apple, which brings me back to like, you know, let's be human and and really, like I don't want to move through my life. I think one of the reasons that I don't want to use for me, not for everyone, is I want to have the human experience because I'm human now. Like I know I'm spiritual. I know that for sure. Like when I died, I was like, oh, okay, okay. I didn't know I was going to die today. That's cool. But while I'm here, but let me let me just let me taste the apple. Let me reach out and touch you. Let me see the sunrise. Let me help. Let me let my presence be a light. Let me leave a legacy of love. Let let everyone that I meet and pass. And I don't always do it, by the way. I'm not by any means perfect. I haven't mastered this thing called humanness, but I try. I always say when I leave, I'm going to get a big E for effort. Like she's getting an E, you know. When you're a kid, they give you. Yeah, yeah. She made an effort. So that's what I think, and I think that. So I don't believe that all happens time. They're all complete. They've already happened.
Alex Ferrari 1:40:39
So if they've already happened, then where's free will?
Chrystal Rae 1:40:42
Free will is your choice where you want to resonate.
Alex Ferrari 1:40:44
Okay, so all of these experiences have happened, and within these experiences, like within the experience of this life, I do have a choice. I have a freedom to do.
Chrystal Rae 1:40:51
You have a freedom, but with if you stay in this timeline, because nothing changes for Alex, you have a certain destiny.
Alex Ferrari 1:40:57
Of course,
Chrystal Rae 1:40:58
But if you shift, then you have a different, and you can shift again and again and again, and how many ever times you want to all these different timelines.
Alex Ferrari 1:41:04
So that makes much more sense to me. So in other words, every possibility that Alex could do in the realm of this reality is been done.
Chrystal Rae 1:41:13
It's done.
Alex Ferrari 1:41:14
It's done. Now, as I'm walking through this life, I resonate with whichever, whichever place I want to kind of experience the
Chrystal Rae 1:41:24
Energetic,
Alex Ferrari 1:41:24
Energetic spirit alignment, align energetic alignment. But in this life, I could be a Genghis Khan, if you know, if and and there's a version of me that is that, and or I could be Jesus. Oh, incomplete, or I could be Jesus, you know, and walk down that path, and everything in between those two extremes.
Chrystal Rae 1:41:45
But what's most likely for you is where you're resident now,
Alex Ferrari 1:41:50
Right!
Chrystal Rae 1:41:51
And that, and what's most likely, because you know, like there's a. Let's imagine you're an eternal being that you, in 5000 years from now, you look back at Alex. Would you know more than you know now, I would hope so.
Alex Ferrari 1:42:02
I would hope so.
Chrystal Rae 1:42:03
Right. Okay. So that being exists already, we are eternal, which I believe we are. But you can't. If you were to be able to pop up to that fight, it would be so high vibration. You would explode. You wouldn't be able to embody it. So where you can go is like the next few levels. Like, and what happens with with tragedy and I've heard you talk about this on your show, like people who are on the wrong path suddenly have a near death experience or a tragic event that takes them back on the right path, right? And that sometimes will shift you three or four timelines, that because of the horror or the tragedy or the the shame.
Alex Ferrari 1:42:40
If you had addictions and you were going down this road, and then you have an OD,
Chrystal Rae 1:42:44
Right.
Alex Ferrari 1:42:45
That's the end of that. Yeah, you're going to either stop and get out of this,
Chrystal Rae 1:42:49
And you're going to flip maybe three or four timelines. That maybe if you didn't have an OD, it would take you many other lives to get there.
Alex Ferrari 1:42:58
Interesting,
Chrystal Rae 1:42:59
Because I think if you don't heal it in this life, you not that and and the whole question of karma, right? Like I don't even believe in karma, because I think it's it's a flawed concept. For example, a bodhisattva or a divine master could come and say into a the body of a beggar. Let's say you're born into a meth mother.
Alex Ferrari 1:43:19
Sure,
Chrystal Rae 1:43:20
You're born with addiction. You're raped by the time you're three. You're thrown on the street. You become an addict yourself. People drive by and say that loser is going to hell.
Alex Ferrari 1:43:29
Had nothing to do with poor things.
Chrystal Rae 1:43:30
But that that divine being said, "I will take that hard life because I'm so enlightened. Because one person will drive by and see me and put their bottle down, and that's I'm going to do this whole life for that one person, and that makes the vision of karma that people talk about so wrong, and I think it's so bad that they shame people about like oh you're born into these bad circumstances or these good karma.
Alex Ferrari 1:44:00
I I you know what? Because I mean, obviously, you know, I, I lean much more connected with Eastern philosophies than I. But I have much love for the West as well, being raised Catholic and so on. And the concept of karma has always been something that's been, I'm in. It's interesting to me. It's never a pun, and that's the thing. A lot of the way it's presented is it's a punishment that you like. Oh, you got a bill to pay, but from what the way you're presenting it does make more sense to me. That yeah, like let's say you do a whole bunch of. It's just weird because if we understand the concept of all these timelines that everything is happening all at once, but right now that means that Alex Genghis Khan is doing some horrible stuff and building up a horrible amount of karma, but is that a potential or is that already at completion and is part of the soul's experience? So, in other words, I've experienced everything through Alex's lens in every possible way already as a soul, but me personally. This spark is resonating.
Chrystal Rae 1:45:01
Well, if you have, you wouldn't be here.
Alex Ferrari 1:45:04
Correct.
Chrystal Rae 1:45:04
Yeah. So,
Alex Ferrari 1:45:04
So then, what are all those other?
Chrystal Rae 1:45:06
But where you're at right now is a result of the evolutionary process of Alex,
Alex Ferrari 1:45:10
Of Alex or the soul,
Chrystal Rae 1:45:12
The soul, Alex.
Alex Ferrari 1:45:13
The soul. So all my lives.
Chrystal Rae 1:45:15
Yeah, all your lives. Not Alex, Alex, but the soul that is Alex right now. That's showing up as Alex. I believe.
Alex Ferrari 1:45:19
Correct. That's just showing up like that. So the concept of karma, the balancing of it makes sense to me, but not as a punishment, but as a kind of a balancing. And if you look throughout history, anytime there's a great evil that shows up, a great good comes to balance it. It's just generally,
Chrystal Rae 1:45:42
But my I would differ a little bit because because if you come in and and let's just say you had a horrible life and you're like I don't want to do that human thing again. It's just I don't want to do it.
Alex Ferrari 1:45:50
I want to go to this other planet.
Chrystal Rae 1:45:52
I want to go. I want to go on the grasshopper planet. You know, grasshopper planet. It's just that grasshopper. I don't enjoy it. That's you're not for. I just being. I love that. I think that's awesome. You're not forced to come back here. You you're so you're so long. In fact, there's huge lines that want souls that want to have this experience because it's it's like a fast track of evolution. It's hard. It's hard, but it's so beautiful, like because of those opposites that you were talking about. There is so much beauty here, and I think sometimes even the news. If you think about the news, like the news is so horrific usually that you you know if you watch it, you're going to go down into a dark,
Alex Ferrari 1:46:36
Yeah,
Chrystal Rae 1:46:36
Energetic path, which is going to make your residence low. One of the things that we have to really work hard on as humans, in my opinion, is staying and and I don't like spiritual bypassing either. I just want to say that staying in a very radiant state. So basically, gratitude, a place of like appreciation and love, because otherwise you're going to attract this other lives that are really close to, like my neck, right? That are really close to the possible timeline that you're on. So, how to do that is the question. I think gratitude is one of the best ways. Getting out in nature, grounding your your energy, getting away from the screens all the time, you know, and like really having human contact, like we are so isolated,
Alex Ferrari 1:47:25
We're disconnected.
Chrystal Rae 1:47:26
Like you have all these fake friends. Like I have so many friends on all these different social media platforms that I don't know, but but I've been connected with for 10 years. Like I've never met them. You know what I mean? And and so human contact is like again, I think we're here to be human and divine at the same time, and to just just enjoy this experience. Like, like now it's funny because if something bad happens, I always go, "Oh, that's interesting. Like, oh, okay, all right.
Alex Ferrari 1:47:56
Well, I guess this is part of where I got to go.
Chrystal Rae 1:47:58
Yeah, this is what's today. I wonder what's happening. You know, I heard this story about this Indian saint, and there was a mass murderer, and he he thought the pinnacle of evil would be to kill the saint. And so she was in her little rickshaw in India, and this mass murder gets in and puts the knife to her throat, to the to the saint the saint's throat, and she looks over at him very calmly, and she said, "If you must do it, please do not suffer.
Alex Ferrari 1:48:28
Oh, jeez!
Chrystal Rae 1:48:29
And the the moral of the story is that what we what we resist persists, and what we connect with. She was she wasn't making no karma with him when we talk about karma, right? Because once you start an action, there is a ripple that it has to come to completion. Every has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Right now, that doesn't say there's not grace. The grace factor, right? So you can leave this life, and you can say, "Okay, I'm done with that that expression of energy, and go to Grasshopper Planet.
Alex Ferrari 1:49:00
I gotta go to Grasshopper Planet. That's gonna be fantastic.
Chrystal Rae 1:49:02
Yes, I mean, why not? Yeah,
Alex Ferrari 1:49:05
I'm sure there is a Grasshopper Plan.
Chrystal Rae 1:49:06
But that story, you know, for me is is a metaphor of like how we interact with each other. You know, like the knife at the throat.
Alex Ferrari 1:49:16
If you must.
Chrystal Rae 1:49:16
If you must. And we, how many times have we done? I'm not saying kill people, but we've done things that we're not. We've hurt people. Yeah, we've hurt people absolutely, and we've hurt ourselves. You know.
Alex Ferrari 1:49:26
Well, that's the end of it.
Chrystal Rae 1:49:27
Please don't suffer because that's creating this more of this thing. And and then there's the opposite of that to what you're talking about. Then even like in some of these addictive communities, they they have you do the opposite. Can you be, you know, somebody's? What do they call it? Like
Alex Ferrari 1:49:44
Sponsor.
Chrystal Rae 1:49:44
Sponsor. Yes, and and so you get to do the good. Like, but here's the thing: at the end of the day, you don't have to worry about any of this. All you need to do is open your heart and love. Like it's not that complicated. It's not like someone. Keeping the score, like you keep your own score.
Alex Ferrari 1:50:02
that's the thing I want people to clear. When you were doing your life review, there was no judgment.
Chrystal Rae 1:50:06
No, no,
Alex Ferrari 1:50:07
It was just like, and you were, and you were being shown and feeling negative, quote unquote, negative experiences, and also positive experiences.
Chrystal Rae 1:50:15
How I hurt their children's children's children, not just them. You know, like there is a ripple that goes generational.
Alex Ferrari 1:50:22
Yeah, because if you do great harm to somebody, it changes the trajectory.
Chrystal Rae 1:50:26
Okay, great harm is one thing. Little harm,
Alex Ferrari 1:50:28
Just something little,
Chrystal Rae 1:50:29
Little harm because you don't know. Like that could be the straw, the tipping point.
Alex Ferrari 1:50:35
Yeah, it's not the straw. It's the thing that just
Chrystal Rae 1:50:37
Yeah, like you might have just done something little, but because they're at the end of their rope, they go down.
Alex Ferrari 1:50:42
It's never about the dishes that were left in the sink. It wasn't. It was. It's not about the dish. Yes. Anybody who's married understands. It's not about the dish. It's never about the dish.
Chrystal Rae 1:50:54
But this human experience is so beautiful. It's so glorious, and it's such a challenge.
Alex Ferrari 1:50:59
But it's everything and all my. Like I keep telling people, like this experience, being here on Earth is intoxicating. This is a very intoxicating environment. Everything smells good, tastes good. Like you can look at, and you have it on both. It's horrible. It's dark. It's light. It's this this matrix. This construct is brilliantly done.
Chrystal Rae 1:51:21
It is,
Alex Ferrari 1:51:21
And you, and then I was watching something the other day about how when we come down or speaking to somebody when we come down here that we are actually our our senses are dulled on purpose because we cannot take in everything that this experience has to offer because we would lose our minds. So if we saw literally everything and processed everything, and listened to every, like you were talking about, and felt everything, and smelled everything, and tasted everything, that we really all of our senses were open 100% Our brain would explode. We we couldn't process it all.
Chrystal Rae 1:51:59
But as you evolve and your resonance goes up, like your vibration goes up, you're able to receive more and see more beauty.
Alex Ferrari 1:52:06
But it's but it's not here.
Chrystal Rae 1:52:08
No,
Alex Ferrari 1:52:09
You're now somewhere else where you were.
Chrystal Rae 1:52:12
Yeah,
Alex Ferrari 1:52:12
On the other side because you saw everything, you felt everything, you you had information because you weren't limited by this meat bag.
Chrystal Rae 1:52:19
Right.
Alex Ferrari 1:52:19
You you had
Chrystal Rae 1:52:20
So there's a simple thing I do with my students. You want to see it?
Alex Ferrari 1:52:24
Yeah, please.
Chrystal Rae 1:52:24
To help them get more expanded vision. Oh, let's
Alex Ferrari 1:52:26
Oh, let's do it.
Chrystal Rae 1:52:26
It's very it's very simple. So put your hand in front of you.
Alex Ferrari 1:52:31
Okay.
Chrystal Rae 1:52:31
Now look at your hand, and keep your vision on your hand. But look what's behind your hand. Okay. Okay. So now you see both your hand and what's behind your hand?
Alex Ferrari 1:52:41
Yes.
Chrystal Rae 1:52:42
And now I want you to see to the right, but keep your vision on your hand and what's behind your hand. But also notice what's happening to the right, and then notice what's happening to the left.
Alex Ferrari 1:52:53
I see it.
Chrystal Rae 1:52:54
Hand in front of the hand to the right to the left. Now take your vision up and hand behind the hand, right, left, up, and now down. So keep without moving your eyes. Keep your vision in the center of your hand, what's behind your hand, to the right, to the left, up, down. Now start wrapping around your your peripheral vision to the furthest level that you can see to the sides, keeping your vision on your hand. What's in front of your hand? What's to the side of your hand? What's up? What's down? What's all the way around? And you just start to see, soften your gaze. No hard focus here. Soften your gaze, but keep your vision like laser sharp, but soft gaze on the hand. What's behind the hand to the side, the side, up, down, wrapping around, and then see what you can see from here.
Alex Ferrari 1:53:53
I see. I mean, I see a bunch of stuff,
Chrystal Rae 1:53:55
Right? Of course, I see everything. So now let the hand go, and look at me. Now look at me that way. See me. See what's behind me. See what's to the side. See what's to the other side. See what's up. See what's down. See what's around, and just truly see me. So without that hard focus, I see you more clearly. I see you with my heart, and when you meet someone with this kind of love, where you actually soften your gaze, because what happens? We see this. This is all we ever see. We see the story we have about people. The minute I ask you, look at your hand, look what's behind. The story falls away.
Alex Ferrari 1:54:37
It's fascinating. I've actually felt the difference when I when I looked at you, I've been talking to you for nearly two hours, and I saw you differently. Not that I didn't see you before, but it's just
Chrystal Rae 1:54:51
Do this with everyone. Do this with your children. Do this with your wife. Do this with your enemy. Do this with your friend. Like you just start. To really like, just soften your gaze and start to really see them and see what's around, and and this whole like level of like just getting some distance so that you can actually see them.
Alex Ferrari 1:55:10
That's beautiful,
Chrystal Rae 1:55:11
Isn't it beautiful?
Alex Ferrari 1:55:11
That's beautiful, Chrystal. It has been an absolute pleasure speaking to you today. Your story is inspirational. It's beautiful. We went down some some roads that we had. I don't think you've ever some rabbit holes. I don't think you've ever gone down on a show before. So these are fascinating. I mean, I could talk about this stuff as I do forever.
Chrystal Rae 1:55:32
I want to thank you for that.
Alex Ferrari 1:55:33
Yeah, but I appreciate you
Chrystal Rae 1:55:34
The work you're doing.
Alex Ferrari 1:55:35
Well, I appreciate that very much. Where can people find out more about you and the amazing work you're doing?
Chrystal Rae 1:55:39
So online, you can go to chrystalraesoul.com and there's a meet me there, and I'm available for talks and for mentorship and all of the stuff there. That's easy way, Chrystal Rae soul, and it's spelled C H R Y, R A E. And by the way, that is my real name. Like people go, oh, that's your guru gave you. I'm like, no, that's my my name. My mom gave me that name.
Alex Ferrari 1:56:00
Your last name was Rae.
Chrystal Rae 1:56:02
My middle name, and when I got divorced, I I just kept my middle name. So my my children's dad who got married again, like I wanted, I didn't want to have her, you know, like I wanted to give her that name. So I was like, I'll just have my name, Chrystal Rae, and it's my, you know, I'm also an artist, I'm also a writer, and
Alex Ferrari 1:56:19
Oh, it works beautifully. So it's just it's good marketing. It's a good name. It's a good name for marketing, Chrystal. It's been such a pleasure having you. Thank you for not only being here and sharing your story so open heartedly about everything you've gone through and your experience and what you're doing today. But I appreciate you and everything you're doing to awaken the planet. So thank you.
Chrystal Rae 1:56:38
Okay, thank you.
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