BEWARE: PROTECTING Yourself from BEINGS That Will DESTROY Your Life! with Christiane Northrup

In the unfolding tapestry of today’s episode, we are graced by the presence of the remarkable Christiane Northrup, a luminary in the fields of women’s health and spiritual growth. Dr. Northrup’s journey is one marked by a relentless pursuit of truth and wellness, often walking the road less traveled to bring light to those in need. Her insights into the world of energy vampires, narcissism, and the profound impact of our spiritual and emotional health on our physical well-being are both enlightening and empowering.

From her early days, Christiane Northrup was destined for a path of questioning and seeking. She recounts her mother’s bold departure from the Catholic Church at the age of twelve, a decision that planted seeds of inquiry and resilience in her own heart. This questioning spirit led her to explore diverse spiritual texts, from Edgar Cayce’s works on reincarnation to the mystical teachings of Flower Newhouse. These early experiences laid the groundwork for her later professional and personal explorations into the intricate dance between mind, body, and spirit.

In this profound conversation, Dr. Northrup delves into the concept of energy vampires—individuals who drain the life force from others, often leaving a trail of emotional and physical depletion in their wake. She explains, “Everyone hurts others only because they were hurt in childhood. That is the answer to everything.” This insight underscores the importance of understanding and healing our own wounds to prevent perpetuating cycles of pain and dysfunction.


  1. Recognize Energy Vampires: Energy vampires often exhibit a pattern of manipulative and draining behavior, leaving you feeling exhausted and depleted. They can be charismatic and larger-than-life, but their presence ultimately diminishes your vitality.
  2. Protect Your Energy: Establish boundaries and learn to say no. Protect your emotional and physical well-being by limiting interactions with those who consistently drain your energy.
  3. Self-Love and Healing: Cultivate a deep sense of self-worth and self-love. Practices like mirror work, where you affirm your love and appreciation for yourself, can be transformative in strengthening your inner resilience.

In her discussion, Dr. Northrup highlights the physiological toll that toxic relationships can take. Chronic exposure to energy vampires can manifest as chronic fatigue, autoimmune diseases, and other inflammatory conditions. These relationships, she notes, disrupt our life force and compromise our ability to heal and thrive. “Once you get rid of the energy vampire… your immune system begins to work,” she asserts, emphasizing the critical need to extricate ourselves from such detrimental dynamics.

Moreover, Dr. Northrup’s reflections on societal shifts and the current global climate are poignant. She sees the turbulence of our times as a clarifying force, separating the wheat from the chaff and revealing our true allies and adversaries. This period of upheaval, she suggests, is an opportunity for profound personal and collective transformation, a chance to realign with our deepest values and highest aspirations.

In concluding, Dr. Northrup shares practical wisdom for building healthy, supportive relationships. She encourages us to seek out those who genuinely appreciate us and to be wary of relationships that begin with a sob story or excessive praise. True connections, she advises, are grounded in mutual respect, genuine affection, and shared values.

This conversation with Christiane Northrup is a treasure trove of wisdom and practical guidance, offering pathways to greater health, happiness, and spiritual fulfillment. Her journey and insights remind us of the power of self-awareness, the necessity of boundaries, and the transformative potential of love and compassion.

Please enjoy my conversation with Christiane Northrup.

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Follow Along with the Transcript – Episode 105

Christiane Northrup 0:00
Every one hurts others only because they were hurt in childhood. That is the answer to everything and if you just love them more, then you could redeem them and what I tell people is the only place that a personality disorder is redeemed is in the movies

Alex Ferrari 0:27
I've been able to partner with Mindvalley to present you guys F REE Masterclass is between 60 and 90 minutes, hovering Mind Body Soul Relationships and Conscious Entrepreneurship, taught by spiritual masters, yogi's spiritual thought leaders and best selling authors. Just head over to I'd like to welcome to the show Christiane Northrup, how're you doing Christiane?

Christiane Northrup 1:00
Doing great doing great.

Alex Ferrari 1:02
How are you doing everything everything good?

Christiane Northrup 1:03
Everything good. I was just in Atlanta than in Nashville. I've been traveling all over the place and you know meeting wonderful people I call it God's internet. You know, we were meeting the right people. We had a very first you i Media Awards in Roswell, Georgia, outside of Atlanta. And Tim Ray and his group presented Dell Bigtree, Brian Artists, Pam Popper,

Alex Ferrari 1:32

Christiane Northrup 1:33
You know, with the with awards for what we've been doing with with media, you know, telling people things that other media outlets don't tell them?

Alex Ferrari 1:42
Absolutely, absolutely. Well, so first question is, how did you get started on your spiritual journey?

Christiane Northrup 1:48
I was on it a long time when I first First of all, my mother was wrongly accused of painting the blessing of mother's toenails on the altar in 1935. And so she long story, but she basically told the priest if this is religion, I'm not interested. And so she left the Catholic Church at the age of 12. My father and mother he was married before going into World War Two. She wanted the marriage and all that as soon as he got overseas, then he meets my mother and marries her. But the church, the Episcopal Church would not marry them because he had had an annulment. So they got married in the local hotel in the town where I grew up. So let's just say there was some questioning of mainstream religion in my life. Then at the age of about 12. I was babysitting, and they had a book called natives of eternity, which was about angels. It's all about flower new house and her work at the Christ's word ministry in California, and I was enthralled, talked about angels and divas and all of this stuff. And then I read all of Edgar Casey, and reincarnation, all of that in my teens. And all of what's her name, this wonderful author, who wrote about all of her past lives, but they were in novel form. So I was into this stuff a long time. And then I had family members sign out of the hospital against medical advice, when the doctors didn't know what was going on. And we were brought up on Adelle Davis and organic food and all the rest of it. So I what I say to people is, I was radicalized long before I got into medical school

Alex Ferrari 3:27
Before it was cool before it was cool to be around. That's for sure. Now, what made you want to write about energy vampires, which is something that we all all Can I think relate to at one point or another, these are people in our lives that kind of just suck the living hell out of us. So what what made you want to talk about that? And what in your definition is an energy vampire?

Christiane Northrup 3:48
Not saying just the most wonderful question? Well, I was working with people along the way. And then I began to notice a pattern where, you know, I didn't really want to be with them. I didn't want to really work with them, but then they'd make me feel guilty and all of that. And I was working with a psychiatrist who told me about what's called Cluster B. And that's borderline personality, narcissistic, histrionic, all of that. And then there was and I was also, in my practice, noticing the number of people who we would call adult children of alcoholics. They were like, adult children of alcoholics, if even if they had a parent who was mentally ill, or divorce parents or whatever, and then I knew about the adverse childhood experiences study that was started at UCSD out in California and is now run by the CDC, which means nobody ever sees it anymore. But what they found out is that the number of adverse childhood experiences you had as a baseline was directly proportional to the number of prescription drugs you were given the number emergency room visits and early death. And they studied a huge cohort of middle aged middle class people in San Diego. And that's how they came up with the adverse childhood experiences. But I'd also been doing work in recovery with you know, codependents, and Melanie Beatty and you know, codependent no more and all of that. And then when I learned about Cluster B, and psychiatry, and then learned about narcissism, which I'd never heard of, by the way, in the 90s, heard of, then I realized, Holy Mother, this is pervasive, I found out it's one in five people, if you are a primary care, doctor, OB GYN family, Doc, that's 25% of your patients at any given time, it's this helped me you can't. And you know, and I, that I'd had lawsuits, I'd been reported to the Board of registration and medicine, when I hadn't lived up to their expectations of being a deity, you know, you're the only one who can help me. And then I realized they'd been to 500 other doctors who could never help them and, and so I finally realized people needed to understand this personality type. I began to work with George Simon, who wrote in sheep's clothing. And Sandra Brown, who wrote women who love psychopaths, a book I couldn't even look at at first. And then I learned that there was a subgroup of people who had super traits of loyalty, compassion, can do that kind of thing. But they were almost constitutionally congenitally blind to the negative traits of others. So there was a belief that, and the New Age Movement, added gasoline to this fire in a big way. Everyone hurts others only because they were hurt in childhood. That is the answer to everything. And if you just loved them more, then you could redeem them. And what I tell people is the only place that a personality disorder is redeemed is in the movies. And at the end, you know, the guy or the woman Oh, I'm so sorry for everything that I did to you. And I'll make it up to you. A really good one recent was the series made on Netflix, the beauty of made on Netflix, it doesn't do the Hollywood ending, the mother daughter relationship in that stays absolutely true to what it was till the very end. It's Andy McDowell and her daughter playing these two roles. It's really, really good. It's like, Oh, finally, you get it, though. The daughter redeems herself, the daughter finally heals. And so I didn't realize when I wrote that book, that it was predictive programming for where we are now I had, I had no idea. I just knew it had to be written. And so there was a whole lot of healers and paths born with a negative ego, we're constantly looking for things to improve about ourselves. And then we've got the narcissists born with a superior ego, that nothing they do is wrong. And I and I realized from you know, being out in the Hamptons being in New York City being an all of these, that there was this whole subgroup of people that looked so good, they're larger than life. They're beautiful. They're and I was realizing these are the energy vampires because I began to notice myself, I would want to fall asleep in my soup when I was around them sometimes. One woman, she's very, very famous. I won't mention her name, but I'm having lunch with her at her mansion. And I'm digging my fingernails into my palm to keep from falling asleep. I did her tarot cards, I did her astrological chart, I did anything to keep myself from just lying down on the Oriental carpet, and falling asleep. That's an energy vampire, where they're literally draining you. You don't know why you feel so bad. And you're blaming yourself, I should be able to handle this, I should be able to be around this person. Very often, you have a parent who's one of the that type, and then you marry it, or you have it as your boss. And it's a pattern that we all, especially those of us, who would call ourselves empaths Starseeds whatever. We need to be aware of it. I also was involved in transcendental meditation, a lot of ashrams would find out, you know, that the chief guru was sexually, you know, having sex with everybody. I mean, it became so common that at this point, you know, if somebody is really charismatic and really good looking, it's like, they gotta prove their worth or I'm not going to be around them. I did. I have a product line called a moto life, which is a wonderful product line for menopausal women and also some stuff for men. But the guy I was working with to help me bring it to a fruition I found out later had four passports and probably worked for the Mossad. So a total psychopath. But like a lot of psychopaths now, Lee Merritt told me this one, this is interesting. So Lee Merritt, Dr. Lee, Merritt, orthopedic spine surgeon with the Navy, she said, The Navy is so good at determining through psychological testing, who can stay under the polar ice cap in a submarine for three months, right? You can't have someone who's going to lose it. So then you have to surface she said, there's one type they cannot screen for. And that's a psychopath.

Alex Ferrari 10:36
Now, what's it? What's the difference between a psychopath and a sociopath?

Christiane Northrup 10:40
They're about the same. About the same. Yeah, there's, there's a continuum I want everyone to know. Because, you know, as I'm talking and you're listening, chances are names are rising in your head. It's like every family has one. They drive everyone crazy. at Thanksgiving or Christmas, you can't do right by them.

Alex Ferrari 11:01
It's It's so interesting, because, you know, I feel myself that I can feel people out pretty pretty well, when I meet them. And I, you know, I can sense them. And then after doing hundreds of these interviews, at this point in the game I can, I could generally pick up within the first few minutes of talking to somebody or even just seeing someone in an interview, kind of get their energy. There's been a few people that I work with, I don't know if you know this or not, but I work in Hollywood. So there's none of this in Hollywood.

Christiane Northrup 11:31
Did not know that. Okay.

Alex Ferrari 11:33
I've been in the film industry for 30 years, I've never come across any of these people you're talking about ever. But maybe, to have someone sit there and go, I'll see you at the Oscars next year. I'm like, okay. You never made a movie. Got it. So the insanity that I've dealt with over my lifetime is is insane. But there are certain things that there was like, and there's one person that's coming to mind, who will not name Yep. When I when you when I met them. This toxic energy. It was such a toxic, they did nothing to me personally, they've never said a mean word to me. They've never done anything mean to me, ever, or anybody around me. But I just feel all disgusted being around them. And then again, don't have anything. It's so if it's one thing is when someone says something to you, I get that. But this is just literally being in their presence. And I you know, and I told the people that I was with them, like, I can't be around that person anymore, right? I can I can.

Christiane Northrup 12:47
Oh, a cat. Yeah. Cuz you can feel what? Okay, here's what they're doing. They are, they have an abyss inside. They have an abyss, there's nobody home. And they're very divorced from their soul. What they're doing is they use other people for their energy supply. So, you know, some very famous people have said, you know, my family is the front row, meaning at their concerts, are there whatever, I'm most comfortable on stage. Are you kidding me? I mean, that means they are feeding off the audience. And they can't really be alone. I think this is why there are so many people. And you probably know way more than I do. In Hollywood. What they say is narcissists don't age well, they don't age. Well, they do not.

Alex Ferrari 13:42
Yeah. And and also, they like you were saying that they need that energy to kind of when, when the spotlight is off, or the audience is not there, they turn to something else to fill the void. And it's generally drugs and alcohol, and sex addiction or some other thing to fill that void. But I always tell people anytime, because you can get into the wounds of like, Oh, I feel the energy of somebody. And that's fine. I understand that. I feel it and get it. But a lot of people, when I say things like that, they're just like, I don't What are you talking about? I go, let me ask you a question. You ever been in a car lot? And you were trying to get a car? Have you ever talked to a sales guy and you just feel like you need to take a shower afterwards? Or if you're a woman? Have you ever been trying to be picked up by some sleazy guy at the bar? And you know, he'd said maybe three or four lines to you, but afterwards you just like, I just feel like that's something I don't know what you call it. But that is a visceral action that we have and whether how you ever want to define it. It is something and I felt that I think everyone thought that at one point or another.

Christiane Northrup 14:48
Yeah. And here's the thing. You're tucked out of that often in childhood. So what we want to do instead is empower our children. And if you feel this Tell your parents are Ron The problem is if one of your parents is one of these people, and they're, you know, that's that's a problem but you know, then we get into soul choices. And we get into you know, like, okay, and that has served me well. You know reading all of Edgar Casey realizing out right we came down to schoolroom earth or at this point the gangster planet that we're on and we came here to co create with God to turn around this planet because what we do on this planet it affects the entire universe. You can do something on this planet to transmute negative energy, it affects the whole universe because it's not. This is the place that's hardest. It's not hard anywhere else. It is really hard right here right now.

Alex Ferrari 15:48
Oh, and it doesn't seem to be getting any easier. I think we're still going into a darker time. I don't think we've hit bottom yet. I think we will come out of it. But you know, I'm no doubt Yeah, no doubt. But I don't think we hit bottom. By any stretch. I think we're, we're on the slow disk. There's something there's, there's just too much stuff going on. I talked about this with almost all my guests. It's like, there's this shift, there's a shift going on, you could just look at it. I mean, I don't remember 15 hurricanes in May, when I was growing up, like I don't remember the I mean, the economy is going bad. The political tribalism, the pandemic that affected the entire world at the same time. All these things are like shifting us I call it the great edge just sketching of the world of humanity's kinda like we're being shaken. And, and hopefully we'll come out of this in a positive way. But like so many people say is like chaos is that is the fertile ground for change. And that's where we're at right now. Because there's definitely a little bit of chaos. Oh, and I forgot about World War Three, we're about we're on the brink of world war three as well. So there's that

Christiane Northrup 16:52
Well we're in the middle of it. Now. We're in the middle of it. And here's the other thing, know that it's done in a most beautiful way. It is separated the wheat from the chaff Holy Mother, do you ever know who your friends are at this point?

Alex Ferrari 17:05
You know, I like when when a lot of the stuff started happening and the political stuff happened and all this kind of stuff at all that's been there. And it didn't just show up at you know, in the 80s. It wasn't any better or worse. I think now because of the internet because of social media, because of things happening in society that allow people to just say, You know what, I'm just gonna say what I feel as opposed to being the crazy uncle at Thanksgiving, who would say when he got drunk, now he's talking it or he's, you know, or he's on Twitter and tweeting it or something along those lines. And they have, they've built a website about it and things like that, that weren't accessible to people in the 70s and 80s. But I don't believe there's less crazy in the 60s 70s and 80s and 90s. And there is now I just think that it's just exposed as brought everything up. And like you're saying, it's definitely opening up doors to who people really are inside and, and I think sometimes that some of that stuff has to be shown into the light before it can get healed in many ways.

Christiane Northrup 18:07
Well, here's the way I explain it. You ever been in an apartment where there are cockroaches? Okay, you go into the kitchen at night, you turn on the light? They're all scattered? Yeah. So what we're doing is we're exposing the cockroaches and also the vampires because they don't like light. Isn't it weird? Since you worked in Hollywood, that suddenly what in the 90s in the early 2000s? I guess more in the 2000s we have all these vampire things we got Twilight we get through

Alex Ferrari 18:39
It kind of it kind of comes in dose.

Christiane Northrup 18:42
Yeah, yeah. But all of a sudden, the truth. I mean, it's the truth. They're gonna they will suck your blood.

Alex Ferrari 18:49
There's no question. Yeah. So what what are some of the health issues that arise from toxic relationships, like just being in one is their physiology mantle's? You know, spirit? What are these things that are happening to us by being in a toxic relationship?

Christiane Northrup 19:08
Here's the ones that are the most common. I would always wonder why these women because my patients had been women. Why these women would do everything, organic food, acupuncture, everything, and they'd still suffer from chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, autoimmune disease, Lyme, chronic Lyme. Now this is before the pandemic so they'd have all the and invariably you would find out that their life energy was being constantly drained by living with an energy vampire. And once they got rid of the energy vampire, which is not easy, by the way, because we become addicted to them. But once you get out of there, then suddenly their immune system begins to work. So being around those people and will increase your inflammatory markers like il six and all the cytokines and all the rest of it, literally you are being bled to death of your life energy, so you don't have it to heal. And you're always second guessing yourself. Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean and remember that the energy vampire is a professional victim, no matter what you do, no matter how much you give to them, it's not enough. But they have malignant intuition. So they know exactly when to give you a crumb, so that you will stay and keep giving them what's called narcissistic supply. So that is money, attention, sex, all carrying narcissistic supply. And when you cut that off, they're gonna start to ramp it up. So when I tell people about this, it's like just what you just said, prepare for things to get a little worse, before they get better. Because they don't want to have that cord clamped. You've been a source for them.

Alex Ferrari 21:06
Now, I have to ask him, I'd love to hear your opinion on this whole Johnny Depp. Mr. Hurd thing? Because that seems like a fairly toxic relationship. Yeah, and and that all of it came out into the light in this in this remarkable court of court hearings. I'd love to hear your thoughts on both of them. How because there's, there's definitely an energy vampire and one of those two, and there's definitely some narcissism in both of the Wonderbolts I'm not sure. You know, whether I'm a fan of Johnny Depp as an actor, is irrelevant to what we're having a conversation about. But it just, I don't know, I'd love to hear your thoughts on it.

Christiane Northrup 21:49
When I loved about that case, and I didn't follow it, but I followed enough of it was the psychiatrist who said, about Amber Heard, this is a personality disorder. This is how it is. So she's a classic borderline. They're seductive. They're good looking. They're a sucky bus. And you've and what I say to men, is you I wanted to have a course for men way back, but I need a course for men, too, so that you know who these women are because they will drain you dry and leave you as a husk on the side of the road. And that's her. And that's her. I don't know anything about him. I just know that I loved that on the world stage. We finally exposed a borderline woman and how they operate because here's what happens to a good man like a good normal man. He goes for a woman like that seductive, beautiful, all of it. And if she doesn't smile, as she seems like she was Victoria Beckham like never smile. I'm so cool. Posh. Posh, I'm so posh. You know, it's like, ah, stay away. But what happens to good men? They think they can save them. Oh, she doesn't seem very happy. I could make her happy. I really think that I could, you know, and then on a subconscious on a subconscious, subconscious level, because what is masculinity? It's to protect and serve. And men want to please women. And I'm not going to get into the trans humanism transmission.

Alex Ferrari 23:35
Sure, sure. Sure. Yes.

Christiane Northrup 23:38
So that's what happens and you get sucked in. It's, it's the Black Widow. If you look at Alex Gibney, all of his HBO specials, like out for blood in Silicon Valley. Elizabeth, whatever her name is, they're they're all psychopaths. They're all sociopaths. Every single person. What was that place? The smartest guy in the room about Enron?

Alex Ferrari 24:06
Oh, god, that was remarkable. It's remarkable.

Christiane Northrup 24:09
This is sociopathy. Yeah. So, so Amber Heard for whatever reason, and you know, it's like, okay, the whole world. It looks like all the old structures are falling apart. So why'd I mean why did they televise this whole thing? When What's your name Jeffrey Epstein's procure. You know, they know that you couldn't have anyone in the courtroom. They just had, you know, a few pictures of her so even that, like, why are we doing that?

Alex Ferrari 24:43
Yeah, well, this is it's I've never seen a case like this. This was so it was so. I mean, something like this has never been televised. Right?

Christiane Northrup 24:54
That it was and you know, a particularly I mean, you gotta love the circus of it. You can I'm driving and he's vaping. And,

Alex Ferrari 25:02
He's waving to his fans, and he's joking. And, you know, and even on the stand, you could just, you could just see that I, at least from my point of view, she was really overreacting. I mean, so overacting, she had an answer for everything she never took. She never took responsibility for anything

Christiane Northrup 25:24
That's the other thing they never, it's always you're doing it to them. Right, right. Other person where they're doing it to that him is Fauci. I mean, I don't know, you know, but it's like, You're interrupting my dinner. I can't believe that. It's always when someone is constantly running for the victim role takes no responsibility. What so ever.

Alex Ferrari 25:47
I mean, at least Johnny would say, You know what, yeah, I was doing a lot of drugs, then. Yeah, you know what I was doing this or that? She never said that once. Never once, even with audio recordings. It's proving that she, that she was saying what she was saying, it's, it was pretty remarkable. Yeah, no, is it? So? Is there a way? Are there tips of how you can identify a Energy Vampire?

Christiane Northrup 26:12
Yes. Okay, first of all, they tend to be better looking. larger than life, charismatic. And you've got to go by how you feel. Now, here's the problem. For the I think it's like, Sandra Browns research showed how many people have what are called Super traits. And that super traits of loyalty compassion can do. These are the people running the corporations, they clean up every bathroom they've ever been in at a gas station make it better than you know, these are the people who are the fixer uppers. And if it comes to a business or a home or whatever, they win every time. They're incredible. But when it comes to relationship with choose the fixer uppers, oh, I can help him. Okay. So what you need if you have the super traits of congenital blindness to these people, then you need to have a wing woman or man to say, Hey, man, it's taken me years. I'm one of them. It's taken me years. Because at first I'm so enthusiastic, oh, my God, you've got to meet this person. And here's what they're doing. And, you know, luckily, I have someone who's worked with me for years and to Cisco's, I get a really bad feeling, I get a bad fit. So at this point, I listened to her. I didn't in the past, I'd have to work it out myself. So the way I would say it is, and remember, they have malignant intuition. They tell you what you've always longed to hear, Oh, man, you're so handsome. You're so stronger. You're so beautiful. You're so sexy and look at what you can do. And the way you help people. It's just moves me to tears. They are over the top, the love bombing kind of a thing. If it seems too good to be true. It's too good to be true. They're larger than life. So they make normal people seem boring. So those of us who have the super traits and who are the impasse, we got to look at our own stuff. Like why am I attracted to that? What is it about me that feels inadequate, that I need? That kind of thing? Okay. So you need someone who's going to tell you but if they begin with a sob story, okay, let's Okay, let's say you're out at a cocktail party. Some guy comes up to you and says, Oh, you know, my wife won't let me see the kids. I'm, you know, I'm recently divorced, but she won't let me see the kids. Okay. A normal healthy woman will go, Oh, my God, what a loser. What a stupid pickup line that as an empath. An old soul Empath with super traits will go oh, God, I really think I could help you. So you have to learn to manage your super traits. I mean, what are all therapists, healers, acupuncturist massage therapists, we're all empaths. We're all empaths. And we feel the things in the room that no one else feels so we carry it, we take it on as a burden. And you know, I said to one woman I was working with, okay, right now, here's what you need to do. You need to say to your body, your physical body, I love you, and I no longer give you permission to feel and act out what other people in the room are not willing to feel. Because our bodies are barometers of the life force in the room so we can trust ourselves. But a lot of times you will not know suddenly, you're in a room. Suddenly you're feeling depressed. You'd kind of do a tick check. I'm not what am I depressed and you find out you're the air purifier for everyone else. You got to really learn to manage your super traits. And really going I mean, it's like ridiculous, but you got to really learn to love yourself more.

Alex Ferrari 30:12
Now, how can you remove yourself from a toxic relationship? Because one thing is like that car salesman that I talked to you about or somebody that you just meeting at a party, but if they're if it's your if it's your parents, if your brother sisters, if it's a friend, it's a mate, how do you start to pull away from that kind of relationship?

Christiane Northrup 30:31
Okay, so first thing, let's assume maybe it's your in laws, right? So what you do is, you send cards, cards are a really good way to do it, just send little cards, if they're, you know, if let's say they want to call you every night, and you you just don't answer the phone. But send a card, I'm thinking of you, they never go away. So you need to understand they or they find another source of narcissistic supply. So let before I forget it. Let me just say, in a marriage, if you finally decide that you've had it, like I said this to a friend of mine, who was married to, you know, a real handsome narcissist, I said, Are you going to be able to deal with it? When he has another woman in 15 minutes? Will that be okay with you? Yeah, it'll be okay with me. Guys married to you know, an oil heiress, right going all over the world. And meanwhile, when he was married to her, he had back problems, always had a medical problem, always had something. And she earned all the money, she took care of everything. And then he finally ramped it up to the next to the next higher level. So that's when you finally decide you, you're going to you can't take it anymore. But for the people, you cannot leave, you have boundaries, like, Okay, we're going over to my mother in law's, we're coming at one, we're leaving at three. And then you just you, you make that solid. The other thing you do, here's the other thing they do, they will never call util. They need something. Okay? Never, they will not check in well, just you know, as thinking of you how you do in know, they only call when they want something or need something. So you need to practice. As I'm talking to you, you know who this is, you need to practice, I'll get back to you. Right? Your your knee jerk responses, of course, I can help you. I'll cancel all my plans for this Saturday to help you move. And then if you don't cancel those plans, you're gonna feel guilty. So I want you got to be able to deal with your guilt. So this is the phrase I'll get back to you. Now, that's elementary school level, high school level is I simply can't do not make excuses, except for one excuse that works almost every time and that is broken wing. Can you come over and help me? Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm just not, I'm not feeling well, they will never, ever go towards someone who has a need. They're the only ones who get to have a need. And she'll always use the broken wing thing. Let's say it's a colleague at the office, they're always coming into your office, and you want to get your work done, but they're always in there and you feel guilty. You say, hey, there you do black rock, gray rock, gray rock, just a gray rock, don't give me any attention whatsoever, nothing. You're gonna feel guilty, the first time you do it, you will feel guilty. So you got to learn how to manage and then you get better and better and better. And then you see it coming from a mile away and you don't get sucked in anymore. You can if you were to do a timeline, like in my own life, you know, so I've got this and then I was married to it for 24 years. And then I have a best friend 12 years. business colleague, three years now I see it coming.

Alex Ferrari 34:01
So So you said something earlier about self love or self worth? How do we build more self worth and more self love because this is, you know, you know, when you get to a certain point in your life, and you have you're very comfortable in your own skin and you know who you are these kinds of things, you can spot them pretty easily. And kind of avoid those scenarios. But it takes time to get to this place. Everybody it doesn't it not everybody is born with self love and self worth. So how can you build that inside of you?

Christiane Northrup 34:35
You actually one of the easiest ways Believe it or not, is the Louise Hay classic mirror work. You know where you look into a mirror. You do this for 30 days. You look into the mirror and into your eyes and you say I love you. I really love you. I used to practice when I go to meetings of the American Holistic medical Association, we always had them in Seattle. And I would do this whole thing when Mount Rainier, you could see Mount Rainier. And I believe in, you know, the spirit of a mountain, especially that majesty of that mountain, and I would have that mountain out my hotel window, I have the mountain, just report back to me my magnificence. And you know, you do it in the privacy of your own room. Because if you were to tell people this, they think you know, what an idiot. At this point, I'll tell anyone that stuff, I don't care. But at the time, that was a real growing edge place, but the mirror work is life changing, life changing.

Alex Ferrari 35:44
I feel that if you're a little bit more spiritually enlightened, and more connected to your true self, because you said earlier, they're there, they're really departed or this disconnected from their soul. Yeah. So the more disconnected from the soul, the more you are grounded in this kind of reality. As far as the physical reality is concerned, that's where you can, you could do certain things that you wouldn't if you're more connected to who you truly are, is there a ways that you any techniques that you've learned over the years that can help us connect to our higher self a little bit more to connect to our true self, because the closer we are to that, or to source or the universe, whatever, whatever that is, so because that does give you strength, and it does give you a level, a foundation that is not easily you're not easily pulled off of?

Christiane Northrup 36:35
Right! So what what you need to understand, okay, we all know this is that we are vibrating at a certain frequency, and that is our point of attraction. So Napoleon Hill said in 1925, in his book, Think and Grow Rich thoughts have the peculiar quality of becoming their physical equivalents. Alright. So then, you know, we get into the all the work of Esther Hicks, Abraham Hicks, all of that, choose the thought that feels better, there's a lot to be said for that, where you're practicing in your mind that you're going to change your thought patterns, and then see what happens. I just talked with a guy, this was really interesting. And he liked alcohol, martinis, and wine and all that. But it was making him stupid at times. So he what he did is he kind of pre paved the way for himself. And he began to have little scenarios in his head, what his life was going to be like, after alcohol, and how this would blossom for him and this business, and he would be so clear and, and then he had a moment with his wife, where he's got his friend visiting, and he's had one too many. And he's, you know, kind of like this. And she looks at him and says, You are so brilliant, you cannot do this anymore. Look at what's happening here. Your brilliance isn't able to shine through at all, because you put the spirit in the wrong container. And he had pre paved it so much that that was it. Never drink again, never doesn't even want it. He had pre paved it, you got to have a connection with the greater part of us that isn't even in a physical body. That's the way I like to see it. It's like you got a part, an all knowing part that is totally connected with God. And I believe God comes through us as us. And you got this part that's bigger that sees this broader perspective. And your job because you're here to transform matter. This is the densest thing in the universe, you're going to transform it, you're going to raise the vibration, you got to start with yourself. So you have to practice I did. Years of I would take Catherine Ponder affirmations from her book, The Dynamic Laws of Prosperity, or the Dynamic Laws of healing or whatever one of my favorites when I was going through a divorce and thought I would lose the house, because I had to really get it about prosperity. And she talked about this stuff called divine radiant substance. Tesla called it the ether. And it's not nothing. It's everything. And so the affirmation was divine, radiant substance cannot be withheld from me, and it can't be taken from me. I now manifest divine radiant substance in wonderful prosperous ways for myself, so I began to see myself as manipulating the very stuff of creation with my thoughts and My whole life turned around. I also you know, God moves mountains bring a shovel. So I did, you know, read all of Robert Kiyosaki, the Cashflow Quadrant saw myself as a business, you know, all of that stuff, you've got to do the practical stuff. But the practical stuff will not work, unless you've changed your point of attraction. I mean, I remember being afraid to go into my broker's office, because I felt like kind of, oh, you know, I was unsophisticated in the areas with his cufflinks and his perfect shirt and the desk without a thing on it, you know, and I found those institutions of money. Very, very scary. And I realized that yeah, they do that on purpose, so you don't feel worthy. And now you know, now I'm like, Yeah, well, you work for me. So, and Mike field is gynecology. So that second chakra, that's money, sex and power, that's where we wear our wallets. It's where we wear our knives. It's where we wear our guns, it's the weaponry of going after what you want. Now, the only key to living a wonderful life is you got to move it up to your heart, you got to combine those two things. But you got to really get it together in the second chakra, with money, sex, and power. And that affects the health of the reproductive system that affects the health of the ovaries, it affects the health of the testicles. And right now, by the way, testosterone levels have gone from like 650, like in the 50s 60s are 250 now, and sperm counts have gone down for 60 years, by the year 2035, they'll be zero if we continue to do what we're doing, which we are not going to do. But this is where you begin to do, like take care of your body in a way that you know that this body responds to your thoughts and that through physical exercise and so on, you can become something that you couldn't do before. It's very, very empowering, you know, sound mind sound body. I've had women go through menopause. Getting totally empowered just through weightlifting.

Alex Ferrari 42:18
Yeah, no, yeah, no question. Now, with all of this, we understand now how to identify how to why we do it. How can we build healthy relationships? How can we identify healthy relationships so we can build those and build a group of people around us that will support and help us move forward in life as opposed to suck the energy or become Succubus is or hang on you as baggage or so on?

Christiane Northrup 42:46
I would have the intention to find like minded people like this past two years, I have found more soul tribe members than in my entire life. And that's one of the beauties of this timeframe is to realize that you never need to pretend to be anyone but yourself. Because who you really are you do it with the right people, you can say all of who you are. You know, one of the things I'm doing right now is launching a dating site for people who haven't had the experimental biologic injected into them. Because those of us who have little grandchildren or little children, realize we're going to need summer camps, theater camps, restaurants, hotels, we're going to need places that value our native humanity, our native DNA. So I think it starts with the intention. But also if you're a guy, let's say, and you're looking to date, someone, don't ever go for the woman who's not smiling. Don't ever think I can save her then what you want to do. You gotta go for the one who appreciates you. Who says thank you the women's movement, as as important as it was really wrecked. male female relationships in a lot of ways. I use the slogan from the 70s A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. What? Okay, so what we want the family, mother, father children is the absolute sub unit of a healthy society. We know that in World War Two, the men who survived in the prisoner of war camps were the ones who had happy childhoods. The ones who came from the inner city who were in gangs and didn't have parents those were the first to die because hope, hope and an education and understanding that things can get better because of your thoughts and so on. That, that nails in sir Rival into the immune system. So I would always pay attention to how do I feel around this person? Like, do I feel better? Or is the person kind of criticizing me Give me an example. I was just with a woman and she went out to dinner with an old boyfriend. And he said to her, and she's now happily married. He said to her, Well, you know, you were one of the most beautiful women I ever met. And he was one he was really putting her down. And she's let me tell you something. I've never been happier with who I am. Because I have developed my insides and back then when I knew you, I was using drugs. I was using relationships. I was doing everything. Yeah, I look good. On the outside. I was a mess. I like who I am now. Yeah. So again, it's the mirror work as you like yourself, your point of attraction changes. The kind of people who you attract are completely different. But if you're always got your nose pressed up against the glass, like, you know, I used to go out in the Hamptons. I had a friend out there. And you know, your nose is always pressed up against the glass of these beautiful people and what are they doing? And, you know, I don't have to tell you, the Hollywood scene. Yeah. So I really, I like to be around. You know, the real folks that we have in our group, Maine stands up we've got a lot of former Special Forces medics, we got farmers, we got people who are just doing things with their hands, you know, plumbers, electricians, carpenters, people who are doing stuff and contributing to society in that way.

Alex Ferrari 46:54
Now, Chris, where can people find out more about you your books and the work you're doing?

Christiane Northrup 46:59 has pretty much to everything. I've got a big telegram channel. I'm about to start a substack because I'm getting tired of the bots on on telegram. I'd like to be able to do a live on Instagram, but I've lost three channels. I'm trying to change the algorithm now. On my current one, I'm on Twitter. I've got a newsletter. You know, my E News is where you're going to find, you know, and that's free. So you go to Sign up there. I've got a YouTube channel. You know, with a lot of medical stuff on it. Yeah, but the, you know, the gangster stuff is on telegram.

Alex Ferrari 47:37
Dr. Northrup, thank you so much for being on the show. I truly appreciate it and thank you. Thank you again for everything you do. Appreciate you.

Christiane Northrup 47:44
Thank you. Okay.

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