Divine Encounters Episode 070 | Near-Death Experience Story
Dr. Laurence Brock was in his early twenties, a Jewish kid from Westchester, New York, when he says a car crash after a late night out left him looking down at the wreck from above, held in a white light. In this Divine Encounters episode he tells Alex Ferrari about the silhouette he says stood behind him, the message he heard, and the years he spent working out what it meant.
Key Takeaways
- Laurence says he left his body after a car crash, and looked down at the smashed car while a police officer crouched over his body.
- He describes white light all around him and a large circle of a different shade of white behind him, with a full-body silhouette within it.
- He says the feeling was amazing, warm and loving, and that everything seemed okay, including the car and his body.
- He says the being told him, “you have to go back. Your father wants you to stay,” and that he understood the father to be God.
- He says it took years, and a teacher from another tradition, to find words for what he saw, including that the being behind him was Jesus.
- His view: everyone’s motive for everything is a wish to be loved, and love is the thing to hold inside and let overflow.
| Guest | Dr. Laurence Brock |
| Episode | Divine Encounters 070 |
| Age at the time | Early 20s |
| What Laurence says happened | A car crash; he left his body and looked down on the scene |
| Where he says he went | A field of white light with a larger circle of white behind him |
| Who he met | A full-body silhouette of light, which he understood to be Jesus |
| The message | You have to go back; your father wants you to stay |
| Time away | He came to three days later in the hospital |
A Cross-Country Drive and a Party
Alex asks his usual first question, and Laurence answers with where he was. He grew up in Westchester, New York, and was living in Colorado at the time, with a roommate who was a friend from childhood. The two of them drove east to see their parents. They had just driven 2,000 miles straight without stopping, he says, and each went home to rest.
Somehow they heard about a party that a friend from high school was having, and they decided to go. Laurence is honest about the evening. He says they had been drinking and smoking, and that he was a little high, though he did not feel it. He also liked the young woman hosting, so he pretended he could not drive and asked his friend to take him home, planning to return to the party the next day and flirt.
Almost at his parents’ house, he realized his sister needed his mom’s car the next day. He asked his friend to drive him back for it. Looking back now, he says, he should never have been driving.
He still has an image of going in to tell the hostess he was taking the car. The party was extra bright and a little hazy, he says. He remembers walking toward the door. And then nothing, until he was looking down.
Looking Down on the Wreck
The next thing Laurence remembers, he was out of his body, looking down at his car. It was smashed, and it looked as if no one could have survived. His body was leaning against a tree with his legs straight out, and a police officer was crouched over him. He assumes the officer pulled him from the car. He never checked.
He says all of this seemed fine. White light was all around him, down by his body, where it was night and dark. Behind him was a big circle of a different shade of white, and within it a being: a full-body silhouette, with yet another shade of white light radiating off it.
He could see it, he says, even though he was looking the other way. It was almost like seeing in three dimensions. He just knew it was behind him.
The Feeling That Everything Was Okay
Laurence says the feeling was amazing. Even now, when he starts to describe it, something in him shivers, because he uses that memory to connect to an incredibly loving, warm energy. Everything was okay. He was okay, the car was okay and his body was okay. Life was okay.
He seemed to understand things, he says. In his early 20s, he was thinking about a job, a family, all that. But everything seemed to make sense.
For how people describe light like this across many accounts, our complete guide to near-death experiences collects the common threads.
You Have to Go Back
Then the being behind him spoke. Laurence says it said, “you have to go back. Your father wants you to stay.” He knew right at that moment that the father was God, not his physical father. And he went back into his body.
He came to three days later in the hospital. A nurse told him it had been touch and go for a while, and he says he flatlined. The neurologist looked at him with a big smirk and told him he was lucky.
He did not tell people much. It was something he put to the side. He knew it was a real experience, he says, but he did not know anything more than that. In a certain way, he says, that was a blessing, because it became his mission. Something in him needed to know.
Understanding It Years Later
Laurence says that about a year before this conversation, he suddenly understood something from the experience he had not been able to register mentally. He realized it through meditating. He had been shown it during the experience, he says, but his mind could not hold it. Questions asked from the physical level, thinking in a linear way, do not apply there.
So in one way, he says, he got everything. In another, he had no idea what to do. He was happy to be alive, and he went back to Colorado after getting somewhat better. Then his mom convinced him to move back east.
A Teacher and a Name for the Light
Within a year, Laurence says, a woman showed up at his door and introduced him to a teacher. Right away the teacher started talking about this stuff. Laurence says it was like being connected to “the invisible internet.” The teacher did not use the term near-death experience either, but he had a similar experience, as did many people in his small groups.
Laurence studied with him for years, in New York, Colorado, Vancouver and Texas. It was funny, he says, because he was born into a Jewish family and the teacher was an Islamic teacher. It did not matter to him. He just wanted the truth, the knowing, the loving. He does not want to pin it down too much, he says, because “it’s not a pinnable down thing.”
Right away the teacher started to talk about Mary, and how “Mary was so open to God’s love that she let the Christ energy in.” Laurence thought, oh, that is what happened to me. Then the teacher talked about Jesus, and Laurence thought, that being behind me was Jesus. He just knew it. He adds that people ask if there is any way to prove it, and of course there is not.
The teacher also talked about “the ocean of divine love and benevolence.” That, Laurence says, was the white light around him. It gave him a mental reference and words to explain it. For more on that idea, see the glossary entry on Christ consciousness.
Telling His Father
Laurence is a minister. Before his experience, he considered himself Jewish, though not very observant. Telling his father he was a minister, he thought, would be a big deal. His father, without missing a beat, asked, “Do you have to pay income tax?” He was more the typical Jewish businessman, Laurence says, than upset about anything Christian.
Later in life, his father became a much more loving man. In his early 80s he met a woman and really fell in love, and he changed. At one point his father looked him up online and began to talk to him about his near-death experience. He said he had had one too, though he describes it as nodding off while driving and being woken by gravel as the car pulled off the road. It was not a near-death experience in the way we talk about it, Laurence says. But it was a way to connect.
“His love superseded his mind,” Laurence says, in a way he found funny and touching. His father was totally sharp. He just wanted to connect. His father had passed away about a week before this conversation.
Warm Hands and Learning to Accept It
Laurence noticed something that still happens when he touches people: his hands become warm. He did not know what to make of it, and he says he did not think of it as healing. He just knew that people felt good. When he met his teacher, the teacher called him a sensitive and began talking about healing, but it was hard for him to grasp.
He has had his practice a long time. About five years ago, he says, something happened that let him embrace it. A woman came to him in bad shape after a miscarriage, and he says her doctor told her not to count on having a child and that they were concerned about saving her life. A friend had pushed her to see him. After two sessions, he says, she emailed to say her doctor told her she was getting better, and they could not believe it. A couple of years later, while he was looking for things to post, he read her note again. He just let it in.
A lot of his embarrassment, he says, went away right then. It was gradual over years, with a nice place to live, other spiritual people in his life and a lot of service work. He volunteers a lot. For more on the idea, see our glossary entry on energy healing.
Spirit in Whatever You Love Doing
Laurence says you can express your spiritual qualities in many ways. For some people it might be martial arts. He is not a fighting kind of person. For him it is cooking, and nurturing. He is a Cancer, he says, and loves to cook and take care of people. Luckily, he has found a way to make a living doing that too.
It could be anything, he says. Cooking, drawing, whatever you love. When you add spirit to it, and your qualities are activated, that is when it comes alive.
He also says there is a balance to find: making a living, taking care of your house, and still doing the spiritual part. It is not easy. People are more open now, he says, but what he does and sees is still a little out there. Some people in his life did not want anything to do with him after he opened up.
His Mission, and Why Love Is the Motive
“My mission in this life is to reach God,” Laurence says, and part of that is to help people and be a good dad, to be of service to family, friends and community. He puts it this way: it is “hold that blessing inside and then the overflow of that to be available to other people.”
He closes with a view of human nature. “Everyone’s motive for everything is they want to be loved,” he says, even for things that are hard to conceive, like someone doing something terrible. Something in them is moving toward wanting love, and connecting to spiritual love and love from other people.
Questions to Sit With
- Laurence says that being told to go back became his mission. What question has been following you for years?
- His father showed love by connecting in a clumsy, caring way. Who has shown you love in a way you almost missed?
- He says to add spirit to whatever you love doing. What is yours?
Do one thing you love this week, whether cooking, drawing or walking, with the intention of offering the overflow to someone else. Then do it for them.
Spiritual Takeaways
- Laurence says he was held in a field of loving white light and told he had to go back.
- He says the father who wanted him to stay was God.
- He says it can take years to find the words for an experience.
- He says our spiritual qualities can be expressed through whatever we love doing.
- His view is that everyone is moving toward wanting to be loved.
Please enjoy my conversation with Dr. Laurence Brock.
Guest Links: Connect With Dr. Laurence Brock
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Frequently Asked Questions
Who is Dr. Laurence Brock?
Dr. Laurence Brock is a minister and healer who tells host Alex Ferrari about a near-death experience he says he had in his early 20s after a car crash.
What does Laurence say happened?
He says he left his body, saw his smashed car and a police officer crouched over his body, and was held in white light with a silhouette of light behind him.
What did the being say?
He says it told him, “you have to go back. Your father wants you to stay.” He understood the father to be God.
How long was he in the hospital?
He says he came to three days later.
Who did Laurence believe the being was?
He says a teacher’s words about Mary and Jesus helped him understand that the being behind him was Jesus. He says he knows there is no way to prove it.
How did his Jewish family respond?
He says his father, without missing a beat, asked if he had to pay income tax. He says his father later became a more loving man.
What does Laurence say about his hands?
He says his hands become warm when he touches people, and that people feel good. He says it took years to accept it without embarrassment.
What is Laurence’s mission?
He says his mission is to reach God, to help people and to be of service to family, friends and community.
What does he say motivates people?
He says everyone’s motive for everything is the wish to be loved, even in the hardest cases.
Is a near-death experience proof of an afterlife?
Next Level Soul shares near-death experiences as lived experiences told in the person’s own words. Researchers continue to study and debate what they mean. Nothing here is medical advice or a medical claim.
Keep Exploring
- The complete guide to near-death experiences
- What is a near-death experience? (glossary)
- What is Christ consciousness? (glossary)
- A Muslim woman encounters Jesus and receives a divine message
- A veteran clinically dead for ten minutes meets Jesus
- A man dies and takes a tour of heaven with Jesus
- An atheist dies, sees Jesus and learns about life’s purpose
- A Lutheran priest dies in church and does not see Jesus
- Browse more free masterclasses and the Divine Encounters podcast.
Follow Along with the Transcript
Alex Ferrari 0:00
Tell me what your life was like before you died.
Dr. Laurence Brock 0:08
I was living in Colorado at the time I grew up. Spent my childhood in the Northeast of the United States and Westchester New York. My roommate in Colorado was also, you know, friend from my childhood. So we came back east to see our parents for a little while. We drove in his car. So we had just driven 2000 miles straight without stopping, and we both went home to rest for a little while. He dropped me off at my parents, and I don't remember how, but we found out about this party one of our friends from high school was having, so we decided to go. I took my mom's little it was a Bob Ford bobcat. It was a bobcat, like a 280 ZX. I think it was a Dodson back then. So we went to this party. We were definitely smoking and pot and drinking, so I was a little high. I didn't feel like I was that high, but I kind of liked the young lady who was having the party, so I pretended I couldn't drive. So I asked my friend to drive me home so I could go back to the party the next day and basically flirt with the girl who was having the party, almost back to my parents house. I realized my sister needed to use my mom's car the next day, and I said, my friend drive me back. I got to get the car, and he drove me and explained that I was pretending, or I thought I was pretending I was too high to drive. So I went back to the party. I still remember. I still have an image in my mind of after that. I went in, you know, to tell her I was taking the car. I can still see the party in my mind when I checked my memory. And, you know, I look at it now, I should have never been driving, because it was kind of extra bright and a little hazy, you know, like when you drink too much. But I remember walking towards the door. The next thing I remember, I was out of my body looking down on my car. The bobcat was smashed, and it looked like no one could have survived. My body was leaning against the tree with my legs straight out this way, and a police officer was like, crouching over me, like he was, you know, looking at me. I I never checked he is. I assumed he pulled me out of the car, but I was looking down. All of this seemed fine. There was, I was in white light all around me, down where my body in the car was, it was nighttime, and dark behind me was this big circle of a different shade of white. And within there, there was like a being, like a silhouette, full body silhouette, a person or being with, you know, still another shade of white light kind of radiating off of that. The feeling was amazing. Just like I don't even I start to say it, something in me kind of starts to shiver a little bit, because I still use that to connect to that incredibly loving warm energy, like, everything was okay. I was okay. The car was okay, my body, even though my head was smashed open, was okay, and life, everything was okay. And I just seemed to understand things, like in my early 20s, it was, you know, a job, family, all this stuff, you know, I guess still, those were always concerned, but everything just seemed to make sense. The being behind me, I don't know how long ago, but someone finally said, Oh, you so you could see behind you. I didn't even really think of that. It just I knew it was behind me. It's almost like I could see three dimensionally, but I was looking this way, and the being behind me said, you have to go back. Your father wants you to stay. I knew right at that moment, the father was, God, not my physical father and I went back into my body, and then came to three days later in the hospital. In a certain way, that was a blessing, because it became my mission. I need to find out, and needed to learn this. And even I would say, maybe a year ago, all of a sudden, I go, Oh my god. I can't believe I didn't understand that mentally, because it was there was something about meditating that I got, ah, I was shown that during my near death experience, I just didn't register it in my mind. So you're asking things that are reference of this physical level and thinking in a linear way, and that did not happen there. So in one way, I got everything, but in another way, I had no idea what to do. We could say I was happy that I was alive. I, you know, remember the nurse and the doctor, basically, they didn't tell me. I flatlined, but they, you know, the nurse said it was touch and go for a while that the neurologist looked at me with this big smirk on his face that I could start with Mary. He said, You're lucky, and I don't, I don't know, you know, you're like, it's just something I kind of put to the side and didn't really think about it or mention it to people. And I, you know, it's a totally different reference now, like, now it's on, you know, half the TV shows mentioned near death experiences or things like that. So you know what to think of it. I. Yeah, I didn't, I mean, I knew it was a real experience, but I didn't know anything more than that. It was just kind of allowing that to happen and knowing something in me really needed to know, because I really spent the rest of my life still, I'm trying to find out what it was and what it is, because it you just can't seem to know it all right. Here, I went back to Colorado after getting somewhat physically better, and then my mom kind of convinced me to move back east, and I was sitting in my apartment back East. So, you know, I'm not so good with years and days and all that stuff so but within a year, this woman showed up at my door and introduced me to this teacher. And right away he started talking about this stuff. So it was some, you know, I talk about, I was connected into the invisible internet, you know, that spiritual internet. And he did not use the term near death experience either, but he had a similar experience. And a lot of the people in the little groups that he taught had near death experiences also, again, not using that word back then, even though it was, it was started to be used. So he taught classes, and I spent time with him in southern New York City, in Colorado, in Vancouver, Canada and Texas. I just needed to know. And it was funny, because I was born in a Jewish family, he was an Islamic teacher. Again, didn't really matter to me. I just this truth, this knowing, this loving, what you know, I'm still always I don't even want to pin it down too much, because it's not a pinnable down thing. It's this moving, growing, loving, warm, wonderful thing. So interestingly, right away, he started to talk to me about Mary, and as soon as he did, I felt, oh, that and how he would talk like Mary was so open to God's love that she let the Christ energy in. I go, Oh, that is what happened to me in my near death experience. Then he talked to me about Jesus, and I go, Oh, that being behind me was Jesus. And I just knew that. I know that now people say, is there any way to prove it? No, of course, there's not. He mentioned in the ocean of divine love and benevolence that he talked about that was the white light around me. So it started to give me a mental reference and words to use to understand more of what happened and how to explain I talked somewhat about these experiences within these small groups, and then, like, now, it's everyone's interested in it. So it's a different thing, but it is. How do you balance that inside of you? You got to make a living, you know, all that stuff, and take care of your house, take care, you know, all those things, and still do the spiritual part. It's not an easy task, because, I mean, nowadays, people are way more open to it, but still, what I do and what I see is a little out there, even for most people that are open, yeah, I definitely had some people in my life that didn't really want to have anything to do with me after I opened up about that. Surprisingly, my dad recently passed away, like about a week ago, so it's but some nice things with him. Is when I first so I'm a minister, and when I thought it would be such a big deal to tell him this, because after my near death experience, my you know, I considered myself before that, to be Jewish, not that I was that into it, but starting to believe in Jesus is a whole different thing. And when I I wanted to tell my dad I was a minister, and when I told him I was without missing a beat, he said, Do you have to pay income tax? Like I thought he'd be so upset about that I was doing something Christian, and he was more the typical Jewish businessman concerned about it. Later on in life, he started to become a much more loving man. When he was in his early 80s, he met this woman and really fell in love with her, and he really changed. So he one time, he must have looked me up online after that. I mean, I talked a little bit about it to him, but he taught start to talk to me about my near death experience, and in his desire to love and connect with me, which was really nice. He started to say he had a near death experience, but his was, he fell asleep while driving one time, and the gravel as his car pulled off the road, the gravel hit the bottom and woke him up. So he didn't really have a near death experience, how we talk about it, but he said, you know, if the gravel didn't wake me up, he probably would have died. But his wanting to connect with me, you know, super. And he was not, he was totally sharp in his mind. So it was almost funny to me. That funny in a nice way, that his love superseded his mind to, you know, to try to connect to me about what was going on. It was great. So one thing I noticed, and it still happens, when I touch people, my hands become warm. And that I noticed again, I didn't know what to make of it. It's not like I'm thinking healing nowadays. It's everywhere on TV. I think TV shows really influence people so much to be looking for that I just didn't even think of it. But I knew that my hands became warm and people felt good. There was one time I prayed. Someone and something happened. When I met the teacher I was talking to you about, he started talking to me about it, and he would call me a sensitive, which I knew was a good thing, because he referred to himself in that way. And he just started talking to me about different healing things and but still, it was hard to really grasp. And I've had my practice for a long time, but I would say about five years ago, something happened that I was really able to embrace it in a way to, you know, be okay with it and not almost feel embarrassed and like you were saying, Oh, what do people think? I'm crazy. I just helped this woman who had a a miscarriage, who was she was in really bad shape, physically after that, the doctor said, Forget ever having a child. And at this point, you know, we're a little concerned about saving your life. And she came to me, one of her friends kind of forced her to come see me. And after two sessions, she sent me this email saying, I don't know what you do, but the doctor said, I'm getting better. And they can't believe it. And it was a couple of years after that, but I was looking for things, you know, it was around Thanksgiving, and I started looking for things to post. And I read this, I go, wow, that's like, amazing, because she went from being very sick to being healthy within a few weeks. And I just let it in. And it was like, I doing something really cool here. And a lot of my embarrassment about talking to people about this kind of out there thing went away right then. So it was gradual over years of accepting it and experiencing and being social, having a nice place to live, you know, all those things, but doing the spiritual part, I think is really important, having other spiritual people in your life. You know, doing, I do a lot of service work. I volunteer a lot, I actually, so I was talking about these positive qualities and attributes, expressing those in whatever way that is for you, I learned a lot. You know, there's certain things that, for me, it seems though that's natural and how you would do it. There's other ways for other people that, to me, might not be the way, like, there's like, I'm not a martial arts person, but for some people, that's the way to express that. And, you know, I just not a fighting kind of person, but, you know, cooking, drawing, anything that you're adding in that spiritual experience into it, on top of the bliss we're talking about when you add that spirit and your qualities are being activated. Whatever that is, I love. I'm a cancer. I really so very nurturing. That is part I love to cook. I take care of people, and luckily, I found a way to make a living doing that also so though. But it could be anything. Some people are even making money. Could be the way the Spirit comes in and their qualities are activated. My mission in this life is to reach God, I guess, and but part of that is to help people and be a good dad, you know, be of service to my family, to my friends, to my community, to bring in, to be a blessing. You know, to hold up to be a blessing is not quite it, but it's more like hold that blessing inside and then the overflow of that to be available to other people. I guess you could describe it as, like, everyone's motive for everything is they want to be loved, even the things that would be so hard to conceive. Like, how could someone doing something that terrible but selling in them is moving towards wanting love and connecting to spiritual love and love from other people.
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