The SPIRITUAL JOURNEY of a MAN Who Turned DYING Into AWAKENING with Peter Redgrove

Alex Ferrari 0:00
Tell me what your life was like before you died.

Peter Redgrove 0:08
I have late stage bone marrow cancer, and accompanying that, of course, is leukemia, one begets the other, and I have, at best, several months. I've already, I think, outlived my oncologist's estimation of how long I'd be here. Three months ago, I was very close to passing and for some reason I rallied, and all my numbers were elevated. But I'm now going into my ninth round of chemo. I have something that's very real. It's called chemo brain, and sometimes I have difficulty. The word is on the tip of my tongue, I can't get it out. My memory is certainly to say short term is an understatement. So I have made some notes. I refer to them occasionally. I just cannot remember things. And the only thing that might help in the long term is stem cell therapy. But I'm too old and I've got too many underlying issues for that to happen, which is fine, you know, I'm not unhappy about that. I treasure life and but I'm also looking forward to what's going to happen on the other side, I have a very, very strong belief in the afterlife, and that's I've had an interest in that for many, many years, way before I even thought that, you know, death was in my future when we're younger. Of course, we were immortal in our own minds, and I read books on the subject by Edith Kubler Ross, who was one of the pioneers in bringing the whole issue of death and dying up to a public forum and books, and I was completely fascinated with them on the whole process of death dying and bringing an awareness that life doesn't end when we die. It's a rebirth. It's a transformation of energy, because that's all we are, where energy is a transformation of energy from one form into another, and it's nothing to be afraid of. It's as natural as birth. We celebrate birth. We should celebrate rebirth. What I've referred to it always, the days of death is the rebirth day, and we go back to our real homes. Well, there are a couple of reasons that I've come to the strong belief. And it's not just a belief, it's very, very strong. I've had evidence that there is life after life. The thing that first of all, that convinces me is common sense given when we're born. Why you like to call it uncommon sense these days, there's not a whole lot of evidence that we're living in an age of common sense. But that's a whole nother discussion. It doesn't make any sense to me that we're given choice, conscience and free will. Why? If there's nothing, and I think if people dig, if they go inside and dig deep, they'll find they have soul, something quite separate from the physical. But the common sense approach convinced me. I thought, well, if this is it, it's a very bad joke. And, you know, I'll have someone dig a hole and jump in, have them cover me up. It doesn't make any sense. The other thing is, just intuitively, I know, and my intuition has been probably the most valuable tool that I've had coming into and living through my life. The third thing is sitting with James, many, many, many evenings in circle and having absolute evidence of spirits coming through, people coming through. And it was one of these circles that a gentleman by the name of Harry came through to me and said, told me what I needed to do with James. But the first time I met James, I knew, intuitively I knew he brought through, in a number of private readings, people that no one else knew and certainly James didn't know. And the first reading I had with James, he brought through my partner of 18 years, who had passed a year previously, knew nothing about me, knew nothing. And the script not only described the person, it described the photograph and a frame that it was in in great detail, the frame that the picture, my favorite picture of him is in, is an art nouveau picture. It was described in great detail. And then he went from room to room, describing my home. And it was really remarkable. But then I was advised, you say, by Harry, that you've got work to do with James and I. Saw, I had a vision of his entire life in a way I knew what I had to do, and I also understood that my job, in this lifetime, this most important job, was going to be on the sidelines. You know, I never saw celebrity. I'm not interested in it, but I was very, interested in elevating James in many, many different ways. I was there by his side for years, and still am advising, counseling and again, using my intuition, but I know without a shadow of doubt that we survive physical death and that we, you know, as I think I forget who said it, it's like going from one house to a more beautiful house, and the life over there is more beautiful, of course, with a caveat, depending on the life you've lived here and the life you live here prepares you for the great event. And the great event, which is a mystique, it's we still, you know, I haven't been there. I don't know I've been there many lifetimes, I believe, and I'll have many more, but I actually, in this incarnation, I haven't been over there and come back. It's transformational. Now, some people come back with psychic abilities. Other people come back with people who wouldn't remember what they had for breakfast, but they can remain. I've lived in the best of times and the worst of times, the worst of times was the price that was paid, you know, I'm a gay man, and the price that was paid for all that loving, terrible I spent a number of years as a volunteer in an AIDS unit hospice. Of course, it was a death sentence. At that time, I spent seven years, one day a week, helping souls pass. And you know, my childhood also, I mean, I had a fractured childhood, surreal in many respects, and that's a whole different story, but it prepared me to live a life of independence, but most importantly, a life of an empathetic way of looking at people and situations, and it has prepared me. I've been very fortunate in a way. As a child, I suffered all kinds of abuse, but it made me strong and it made me independent, and I certainly wasn't going to allow it to the negatives. Part of it to define me. I lived with a lot of anger until I was a very, very young man, and I had a wonderful experience by a gentleman who literally gave me a whack on the face and said, wake up, wake up. And that was, that was a real, transformational moment in my life. I was shocked into not playing the blame game. You know, we can all that's the easy thing to do is point fingers and say, you know, it's your fault. It's your fault. Now, we are all responsible for our own happiness or unhappiness, the sentiments that and the feelings that it releases and it brings when I was diagnosed with this. I mean, I'm not a young guy. I'm 84 years old. I've lived a long life, much longer than I ever expected. The thing that brought not surprised me, but it was very effective. The diagnosis you've got X number of months you may have a year, year and a half, if you're super lucky, and how it changes priorities very, very quickly. By driving a real, expensive car with a lot of gears, you have to change gear real quickly, and it changed my view of a lot of things. It's as though the layers in my eyes were being peeled back, peeled back, peeled back. I looked back, and the only reason I ever looked back is say, What the hell did it was I thinking, and what have I learned from it? And it changed my priorities a lot. I thought, well, this is no longer something that's theoretical. I know intellectually, I'm going to die, but emotionally, psychologically, this is something I'm facing head on, and the chances are very high six months from now, I won't be here. I've been busy packing my spiritual suitcase. It means getting rid of and I'm going to refer to some notes, because, as I said before, a life well lived is the best preparation for death, and we all want a good death, and I want a good death. But the thing I've always done in my life, when I've taken trips and I've been fortunate, I've taken traveled all over the world, always packed too much, and it's that, and trying to cover every contingency, well, you can't do that. You need a steamer full of trunks, getting rid of old emotional and psychological baggage, getting rid of things that have caused you stress, things that we see we get caught up in the minutia of everyday life, falling out what. What's important for one want to travel light. I just want basically a little bag with a toothbrush, and, you know, that kind of baggage. I don't want to take any baggage, and that gets it into the whole area of forgiveness. That's been a big lesson this lifetime, very big lesson, and a hard one. And I've given myself the gift, and it is a gift of forgiveness. It allows me to move forward, even in this limited time, lighter with love and generosity of spirit. And I spend a good deal of time thinking about things that could have done better. This gets to something I feel is really important. There are different levels, but this is how I would explain it. There are different levels of consciousness, and we're all we all vibrate. It's all vibration at different levels, and the life we've lived determines which level we go to. That's my belief. From my perspective, there's no burning, fiery pit. There's none of that. What there is is a place of darkness and a place of regret. I don't think there's anything quite as bad as a place of regret. When you see in your as a spirit, as a soul, what could have been, what should have been, but what you did with what you were given, there are people who are given great skills as orators, and they've used it for bad, negative purposes instead of for good, instead of moving nations to be part of a global community, caring for each other and loving each other the opposite, they will move to kill, to hate and not love. So I think hell is the place of fiction, but Hell is a place at its worst, is a place of darkness. If you've lived a really, really evil life, I don't think the majority do that. I believe in the goodness of people, and I believe the majority of people have good hearts and good spirits, and they just want to be left to live their lives comfortably, freely in a community that cares with them for each other, which I believe in the future is going to come back. I do. I see that very clearly lived a life that recognizes love is not just a word, it's a real force that you have forgiven yourself for mistakes you've made, and we've all made them, and it's very, very hard to forgive, but the hardest thing is forgiving yourself. So I think a good death is one which you have made peace with situations and people physically, and you've made peace with yourself, acknowledge your mistakes, forgiving yourself from the mistakes, and focusing really on the good stuff you've done in your life. The spirit is preparing yourself for the life in the next realm. I mean, we, I think spiritually, it's all part of what I just said, loving, forgiving and understanding. That the only reason we're here and we choose to come here, by the way, it's not random. I call it the universe's pit stop. We're here to rotate the tires, you know, a little oil, but get that car back on the track. It's the universe's pit stop. Love one another, be kind, be generous with each other. Be responsible for each other. And understand that in a culture that seems to worship the wrong the wrong stuff. Recognize the spiritual part of who you are, let that grow, let that develop, because I'll remind each of you at the end of the day, nothing goes with you other than the sum and substance of the lives you've affected, the lives you've touched and make death and you're passing a gentle thing, and not all of us. And I understand that sometimes it's dangerous to paint with a broad brush, and I always try not to, but generally speaking, coast into your own demise gently and lovingly and with a degree of excitement, what could be better than meeting all your loved ones, your family, your friends? And the thing I'm looking forward to most is being free of the physical body, because my physical body right now is disintegrating. But, you know, it's an old machine. It's like an old car you know, it's parts break down.