Alex Ferrari 0:00
Tell me what your life was like before you died.

Michelle Clare 0:08
When I'm 32 I have three little kids. I have a five year old, two and a half, and my son, who was an infant, he was six weeks old. After I had him, I had had a lot of complications, so I was in the hospital about four out of six weeks, I had infections. I was on IV antibiotics, and the doctor said, Well, we just need to do a DNC, which is a procedure they do to clear out the uterus. You'll be fine. 45 minute outpatient procedure. We'll send you home. It'll be good. The night before, I just had this gut instinct that I should not do this. But you know what? They offered me a quick fix, and I was really ready to be home, so I went in, and I had had anesthesia prior to this for other treatments, and I remember it was just a blank space. It wasn't a dream, it was nothing. It was just a blank space. So I remember counting backwards for the anesthesiologist, and the next thing I know, I'm laying on the gurney in the operating room, and I had a beautiful white German shepherd named Tahoe who had transitioned a couple years before this. She walked in, laid her head on my Gurney, looked at me, and we were gone. We just disappeared out of this room. We were on this phenomenal, radiant beach and every drop of water, every cell in every plant, every molecule of sand. Everything radiated this light and this love and seemed to have its own intelligence. There was just colors that we don't have here. There were, again, timelessness, peace, bliss. It's really hard to put these experience in the human words, because they are so much bigger than that. So as I was with her, we were running on this beach, and I was once again looking at her. She looks young, healthy, vibrant. We're having this telepathic communication. She's so happy I'm there, and I noticed we're running on the sand, but it actually ends up feeling like clouds. It doesn't feel like beach sand, right? And I start to notice after a while, gosh, I'm not getting tired, I'm not getting hot, I'm not getting thirsty, and it felt like we had run quite a while at that moment. Well, here's a little funny side note to that. I actually personally hate running. And I tell people, if they see me running, call 911, that's like an emergency, right? That's not me just going for a dog. So here I am in my near death experience, just running on the beach, right? Loving every moment of this. But what it really was was it was being present in that moment. And one of the things I learned in this was there was only each step that I took, there was only each breath that I was taking. So it was about being truly present in the moment, which is a huge challenge for us as humans, because we have a million things pulling on our energy and our attention at all times. So as I was running with her on this beach, all of a sudden, I could feel my son, who was back at my house with my mom, calling to me, and he was scared, because he knew I was getting ready to leave. And so in that moment, my soul was able to be in more than one place at a time, which I didn't know our souls could do before that. So I actually went to him, and I remember saying to him, I promise I'm not going to leave you. I will find a way to stay. And I start praying, and I start saying, It's not my time. I need help. The next thing I know, I'm back in the operating room, but not laying on the gurney. I'm standing there. I'm almost over viewing it. I feel Jesus come in. And Jesus comes in very much as my friend, like, I'm here to help you. What do you need? Not the bow down to me. Start praying. It was like, Here I am, right? And it was so comforting and so full of love. And I see this operating room light up, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up in post op, and my 45 minute procedure turned into a three and a half hour emergency surgery because they had ruptured my uterus in two places, and they actually missed my aorta by a millimeter. Well, I think it was an oops on the doctor's part, we'll put the oops there, right. But for me, it was actually, once again, about so my soul remembering and kind of this amplification process where it was now. I had an awareness. My soul can be in more than one place at a time. I'm multitask. I found out I had always grown up believing in Jesus, but guess what? I had first hand contact with him. He was real, and he wasn't coming in asking me to bow down and pray to Him and sit his at his feet for eternity and sing to him. Right? He was there as my friend to help me. And so it really brought together a true knowing and my heart and my mind and my body my soul, that we are supported and we are guided and we are loved and we are watched out for more than our human mind can ever comprehend. I would also say the upbringing that I had, I wasn't, you know, my mom at that point in time was like, don't even go to a chiropractor. Chiropractors are bad. Well, now you see him on every corner, right? So, and everyone goes to chiropractor, pretty much, right? So I was raised in this very kind of strict Catholic, this is what we do. This is the only way to do it. I had no idea what meditation was. There was no way my mom was gonna suggest I go find a guru to help me fight. So I think my soul said I will find this. This, but I'm gonna have to do it the hard way, because I also believe I did choose that family, and I did choose that upbringing. And then the other thing I would say about that is, in hindsight, the universe is always tapping us on the shoulder right, wanting to give us a message. And so I would say I had been tapped on the shoulder probably multiple times, and for whatever reason, chose to ignore it so it kept getting my attention in a more extreme way. So I did start becoming more interested. Like I finally heard the word mediumship. Oh, this is what I've been doing with grandma and grandpa this whole time we've been talking through mediumship. So I started to find out a little bit more. So my third one happened in November of 2011 for people who like numbers, this happened on 11, 111, so there's a lot of ones in there, right? One more way the universe is trying to get our attention right. And so in my house, I have 14 foot ceilings. I was about 12 feet off the ground because I have candles that are battery operated, and every night they turn on and glow, and all of this good stuff. My kids were older now. My youngest was five, my other one was eight, and then I had a 10 year old, and so my younger two were home with me, and I said, as soon as I put this candle back up, we're gonna go get your sister. So I climb up the ladder, and as I get to the top, I feel it start to shift. All I had was one second to think this is gonna hurt, because I knew it was going down. And at that moment, I am absolutely ripped out of my body, not in a painful way, but in a fast way. And I am turned around, and I can see my body and the ladder suspended in the air, and I am standing with three people, and I had never met them in this life, but I feel like I've known them forever. They feel like family, close friends, and I actually I can remember so vividly what they looked like. One was an Egyptian woman, one was an Asian man, and one was a Hawaiian man, and they were standing there, and telepathically, they said to me, what would you like to do? Do you want to stay or do you want to go? And I was a little bit taken back, because this all had happened so fast. And once again, I'm in this timeless space and in this blissful, unconditional love. And I was looking at my body in the ladder in the air, and I realized, gosh, it's going to hit the floor in probably less than a second. But I had forever to make this decision, and so I kind of got stuck in this little loophole where I was thinking, like, isn't this interesting? They're not rushing me. I feel like they should be like, Michelle, Michelle, what do you want to do? Hurry, hurry. I had forever to decide. So as I was standing there looking at my body and the ladder suspended in the air, I saw a different angel come in, and this one was dressed in red and gold and absolutely just Gosh, brilliant and glowing. When I saw this angel, I knew immediately this angel is here to either take me home or make something happen so that I could stay so as I was in this moment, I looked in the kitchen and I saw my younger two kids were there, and as soon as I saw the kids, I said, Oh, I've got to stay and in that instant, I was just downloaded with so much information. I was told, okay, but being a stay at home Mom's not your only purpose. We expect more from you now. You need to go back. You need to do your mediumship in the way that only you can do it. There's a million mediums, but we're all individuals with that, they told me that my marriage probably wouldn't survive this change in me. I mean, there was just countless amounts of information that was downloaded and and some of it I don't remember to this day. What will happen is like something will come along and there will be a sight, a sound, a word that will trigger it. And I'll go back to that moment and say, Oh yeah, they told me that. So it's really interesting when I think about this, the pivot point of my entire life happened in the moment when spirit stopped time. That is when everything shifted for me. So clearly, I came back. I fell. I hit the back of my head on the corner of my granite island in the kitchen. So I had a five and a half inch skull fracture that went up, I had a brain bleed, lost my taste, my smell, my equilibrium, part of my hearing, and they took me to the hospital. Obviously, what they decided was I survived the fall by half an inch, because I had missed my brain stem by half an inch, which would have been the difference between life or death. And I knew when I saw that angel, that was the purpose of it. So after this, the next few months, I was really just trying to heal. I was in the hospital for a while. I was in vestibular therapy, physical therapy. I had different things I was doing. And my son, who was five at the time, started to get very depressed. And he would tell my mom, my mother in law, myself, whoever would listen, he would say, I didn't need to be there. He said, Because he my my kids called 911, they were the ones who got me help that day. And he said I didn't need to be there. My call didn't go through. So if he could have done it without me, and we felt like truly, in the trauma of the moment, he had maybe just dialed it wrong or forgot to hit, you know, the on button, I don't know. And we would say, Josh, you let the policeman in the door. You were helping. There were things you could do, but nothing that we could say would ease this burden that he was carrying. So the end of January 2012, a few months later, my grandfather, who had passed away when I was 12 years old, came in in my first really big, big mediumship visit since my head injury. And he talked to me about my accident. He talked to me about my son being good with electronics. And then, which is interesting, because he and my son lived on this earth decades apart, right? So we know our loved ones are connected to us. And then, before he left, he said to me, said, Michelle, you need to get the 911 recording. There's something on there. You should know. I didn't even know I could get the 911 recording. So I went down and I ordered it. Took a couple weeks to come in, and I got it, I played it, and I hear them say, 911 what's your emergency? And I hear my son and his little broken voice say, Sophie, what do I say? And then he laid the phone down. So for the next minute and a half, 911 is trying to get their attention. They're saying, can you hear us what's happening? And then you hear him say, I'm gonna go push the panic button on the house alarm. And my daughter says, Hold on. Let me try calling 911, she hangs up the phone, and then her call goes through, and her call gets so when he came home from kindergarten that day, I literally said to him, I said, Josh, your call went through. Help was coming as though I lifted a 10,000 pound weight off this little boy's shoulders, and in that moment, I got the gravity of mediumship on a whole other level. If this life changing message had just come through for my son that I didn't even know was available, and yet my grandpa knew it was, and I actually watched it change the course of his life and his self worth, I did something to help come back in and very emotional for me still today, because part of my mediumship that I came back to do is to help people connect with their loved ones, to connect with their own Soul, to connect with the fact that we are not living this life alone. And a lot of times that's not how it feels in the human form. And you know, people will say to me, Well, did you see the tunnel of light? Did you? And I would just say, No. I kind of felt like, I bypass that. I was always just there. I was like, oh, here I am in that space. I made it to those unconditional, timeless places. But a lot of this, what I have found, as I've done my mediumship and that kind of work, is that, you know, if you we use the word God, let's just change that to love. God is love, and love will greet us where we are, and love will always want to show us it in a way that we can understand and feel comfortable there. So for me, these were exactly what my soul needed, which are going to be completely different from other people's souls. You know, it's amazing, because what spirit really has been telling me, especially over the last few months, is planet Earth is all about the contrast, because that is where we learn and grow and explore. So even the contrast, right? When we are in that oneness, to some extent, we're almost invisible to each other, because we are all one. I am you, you are me. We are blended, right? But today, because of your beautiful contrast, I can see you. You are a man, you have a beard, you are in a dark colored sweatshirt. You know all of these things that I can see about you. You can see me today because of the contrast I created. Otherwise, if we were in this space of wetness, we'd almost blend. So the contrast doesn't always have to be a bad thing, but it makes it makes us visible to each other, and it also helps us know what we want and learn and grow. The learning and the growth that happens here is unbelievable. But listen, a lot of times people think that growth has to happen in really hard, challenging ways, but it doesn't. We can play in the magic of life. We really can. This is part of what spirit tells me we have our human ideas and we have spirit ideas, and the human ideas are not usually beneficial. We're like, Oh, if you work really hard, maybe it will pay off if we give ourselves a lot of challenges. But spirits like, well, you could work really hard, or you could over, sit over here, and daydream and manifest it and tap into your own abilities. So we have more tools available to us, then most of us know, on the human level, the minute that we stop worrying about controlling it and we actually live in alignment, which is with our spirit, our body, mind, spirit, and we say, okay, take over. I know you know what you're doing. That's when the doors open and that's when the flow happens. I think it's to know that no moment is ever wasted as everything, as you, as me, as the sun, as the flowers, as the animals. Pure Love though, I think it really is to wake into the power of your soul and remember that this is a video game, and your soul has more tools than your humanness will ever have.