Today we have back one of the most popular guests we’ve ever had, Connie H. Deutsch. Her last episode How to Discover the Meaning of Your Life is in the top 5 most downloaded episode. In this conversation Connie and I discuss what is reinvention, breaking through fear and how to connect with your higher-self.
Below is an article Connie wanted to include in this post. Enjoy.
Is It Too Late to Reinvent Myself?
It seems like eons since I first heard the concept of reinventing yourself. I guess that fits the theory expressed by the famous guru, Paramahansa Yogananda in his book, Autobiography of a Yogi that if you don’t like your life, change it. If you don’t like your karma, change it.
This doesn’t precisely go hand in hand with reinventing yourself but it’s a good starting point.
What does reinventing yourself actually mean? When I tried to find out, I got numerous answers from numerous people. I heard one person say, “Connie has reinvented herself hundreds of times.” Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, I wouldn’t even know how to start, let alone know where I was going.
To my way of thinking, it means that a person is willing to walk away from everything he has been doing and is taking on a new persona. I’ve known a few people who have done this, especially people who have emigrated to America. During the Cuban missile crisis, many physicians were denied the right to practice medicine in this country unless they had graduated from a medical school in this country.
To my way of thinking, a human body in Cuba is no different from a human body in America. If you have a valid degree from a foreign medical school and can pass the necessary exams, you should be allowed to practice medicine in any country. The laws don’t change about anatomy whereas they do change in the legal field or the real estate field. I remember talking to some of the Cuban doctors who told me they were forced to find employment in other fields when they came to America.
One of them took a job as a janitor just to put food on the table. Another took a job as a cook in a small restaurant. These people knew the meaning of the phrase reinventing yourself. They literally had to give up their former life and find a new career.
I, on the other hand, never had to give up anything. I merely added to what I already had. When I was thirteen, I worked as a volunteer working with Cerebral Palsy children. Some years later, I worked as a volunteer teaching the children of migrant workers how to read and evaluate the accuracy of the IQ tests which were badly flawed. In later years, I worked in the medical field and some years later, I designed health programs for people around the world. But my official career started with me being a business consultant and personal advisor for people around the world and that has never changed.
Through the years, I kept adding to the things I was already doing. To my way of thinking, the articles and books I had written were just extensions of what I was already doing. The same with my publishing company and my newspaper column that I had for sixteen years until the publisher sold the newspaper. I had my own radio program for a year and a half and I did my counseling as part of my newspaper column and radio program.
When I was invited to speak on various radio programs and a cable television show, it was still an extension of what I had been doing. The same holds true about the talks I gave at various colleges. When I wrote the scripts for a financial television program, it was an extension of my business consulting work. So, looking back through the many decades of my career, I can’t say I ever reinvented myself; I just kept adding new projects to keep me from being bored.
It’s also why I make a radical change every two years. It’s now two years later and just as I was wondering what change I could make where I could still be of service to mankind, I got a call asking me to be a guest on the new Next Level Soul podcast and four days later I was asked to write articles on spirituality for this new podcast. I live for these exciting moments that allow me to expand my horizons while helping people find meaning in their life.
If ever you wonder why you’re here, the answer is simple. You are here to elevate the vibration of the earth by being of service to mankind. When we bully others, for any reason, we take the vibration of earth down another notch. When we help someone in need, without expectation of anything in return, we elevate the vibration of earth and bring us a notch closer to the Creative Force of the universe (which I think of as God, but you can give it any name you want).
We get a sense of wellbeing when we know we have made someone’s life better, even for a day. But, if you really want to feel liKe King of the Hill, there is no better feeling in the world than making a big difference in someone’s life.
All of this brings us back to the question if you are determined to make a difference in someone’s life, is it really necessary to reinvent yourself?
Written by Connie H. Deutsch
If you would like schedule a counseling session with Connie go to: Official Site
Listen to more great episodes at Next Level Soul Podcast
Follow Along with the Transcript – Episode 028
Alex Ferrari 0:09
I would like to welcome back to the show Ms. Connie H. Duetsch How you doin Connie? .
Connie H. Deutsch 0:15
I'm doing great. How about you?
Alex Ferrari 0:16
I am doing great, you are returning champion to the next level soul podcast. So I appreciate you coming back.
Connie H. Deutsch 0:24
I'm shocked that I'm coming back. I haven't done this in years.
Alex Ferrari 0:29
Well, I'll tell you what your episode has is in the top five of all the episodes that I've run and I've run at this point of since this recording, we're getting close to 25 episodes. And within that 25 episodes, I've had huge rock stars and very known authors very known, you know, actors and actresses on the show who have very large followings. And for whatever reason, you are in the top five of all the downloads. So there's something that you're doing, and saying that is bringing people to your message to your, to your words. And you know, I think when you and I get together, there's a little bit of magic.
Connie H. Deutsch 1:17
I think you're right.
Alex Ferrari 1:20
So, I agree. So you want to you want to talk to the audience, a little bit you want to do address them about our about our conversation we're about to have,
Connie H. Deutsch 1:32
I would like to Yes. Okay, what I want to say to your audience is that, for as many years as I can remember, I used to use the term, when I talked about God, I used to use the term, the creative force of the universe, or powers, the d or whatever, but I didn't use the term God, because I didn't want to offend people. Now, I'm not so concerned about offending people, because I'm giving them an option, that when I use the term God, in their own mind, they can substitute Buddha, Jesus, Allah, whatever they want, or whatever they want. And that includes 80 of the money into wild atheists. And it is not a religious kind of God. It's the God that says, you there is a force greater than yourself. And we will give him the name of God. Or we will give him the name of Buddha, or Jesus, or whomever. But for whatever reason, there is a power that is greater than you. That is greater than me, that is greater than all human beings. I don't know about the lesser life decisions, the animals and things like that. But I do know that humanity has to have something greater than itself to survive. Well, I think we have all kinds of wars, religious, throughout history, there has to be a power that is greater than us to have kept surviving all these centuries. What do you think Alex?
Alex Ferrari 3:50
Uh, no, I was gonna say that there's a lot of egos that are going to be hurt when they say that we're not the top of the food chain, that we're not the end all be all. Many egos in this world can't handle that at all. And have problems when people say things like that, that there is something greater than us. But if you truly sit down and are honest with yourself, which is very difficult for many people to do you understand that there is something else there is some sort of design to all of this. For all the good and the bad, there is a design there is something working behind the scenes, you know, you can't look at some of the beauties of nature and say, Oh, that was that's really a nice accident, you know, or just looking at the Earth in general that this just happened to, to, you know, form the way it did and we happen to, you know, evolve to this point in our in our existence. Have to believe that there is at that faith that there is a organizing force behind this some sort of higher power that is responsible for all of this, whatever that might be for you. You're in your own world.
Connie H. Deutsch 5:01
That is very true. And it brings to mind all the times that I think of things that I have visualized. And I'm good at visualization, I can usually make things happen or not happen. As I've been minded many times through the years. But I think of all the times that I have visualized, something to the very best of my ability, and it didn't come to pass. In the beginning, I used to say, why God, you know, I've visualized everything. Why did it not come to pass? Well, of course, God didn't answer me. But the answers showed up later on, that there was a higher reason that it didn't come to pass. And it was for my benefit. Like when I visualized, being able to buy the house that I was renting. And I had everything going for me. I had clients who were visualizing for me and with me, I did everything in my power to make it happen. Money was in place, my clients wanted signs, cosign mortgage with me, everything was in place. And for one reason or another, the person who was handling the mortgage, she went on vacation the first time, then she misplaced the file. Three times, it happens that she was not available to process the mortgage. And I thought to myself, you know, this is a strange, there's got to be a reason. And there was, there was a very good reason. And that reason was that in time, we found out that they were building a project for low income houses, right across the road, or across the street, as, as the case may be. And into that, they started digging up the highway in front of our community that was many feet wide and many feet deep. You couldn't get into where I was living, unless you really knew the place. And I had people traveling from all over the world to come for consultations. And it was no way I could give the directions to how to get into the into the area towards my home. Because I couldn't figure out how to describe it. There was no easy way you had to go to the bathroom to get in. It's just two years for them to sell the property. Because nobody could get in to see it.
Alex Ferrari 8:22
You know, it's funny, that reminds me of a story that I went through where I visualized getting onto this reality show for film directors back in the mid mid early 2000s. And I got to the very top, I was in the top 25 of India need a top 10 I think there was thought but I made it to the top 25 and did everything I had to and was devastated when it didn't come true. I didn't get picked to be one of the top 10 competitors on that show. And it was the bet at the time. It was devastating. Because I thought like oh my god, you know, this is this was my shot, all this kind of stuff. And at the end of the day, years later, after seeing that show, it was the best thing I dodged a bullet because the directors who were on that show, never never went on to do anything. And it devastated their careers in many, many ways. No one took them seriously after that. So I was very lucky to have missed that. That boat, but I really wanted it. So it didn't happen. But that was to my benefit. So it a lot of times when we want something and we don't get it. Only years later in hindsight, do you realize wow, that was as the best thing that could ever happen to me whether that be a relationship, whether that be a business deal, whether that be a job, a million other things, but yeah, you always got to look at the silver lining. When something doesn't happen. Just believe and have faith that it's in your best interest.
Connie H. Deutsch 9:55
Well, in those years, I wasn't involved in all of this I didn't realize that in later years, etc, right! I just, you know, why? Right? What? You know, what am I doing wrong? Why didn't happen, I love this house, I don't want to move.
Alex Ferrari 10:22
Sometimes. Sometimes the things that we might want aren't the things that are best for us things that are comfortable for us, maybe the universe, or God is trying to push us in a direction that will push will push us out of our comfort zone, which might be painful in the short term, but very much a growing opportunity, which is why we're here we're here to grow. And we're here to learn. And we're here to evolve as spiritual creatures. And, and as you know, as human beings during our life as we grow and learn. That's how we become better and better and better. But if you live in a comfort, if you live in your comfort zone, you never have the opportunities to, to grow. That's why if you won the game all the time, it gets boring, you need to lose a few times you need, you need those obstacles to keep things interesting. Because so many times I've known, you know, famous, I'm sorry.
Connie H. Deutsch 11:25
I've actually been an obstacle course, you're telling me about a comfort zone.
Alex Ferrari 11:32
I was using your example of you wanted to stay in your house where you felt comfortable. And but sometimes you've got to move and and it might be in your best interest to move and discover new opportunities, discover new things. And that's definitely what happened to me in my life, which is one of the reasons why I wanted to have you back on the show today because we wanted to talk about reinvention and reinventing yourself in in the grand scheme of life. Now, what do you have to say in regards to reinvention, because I definitely have a bunch of stuff to say, because I've done it a couple times in my life.
Connie H. Deutsch 12:09
Well, in my life, I've never done it at all. And I'll tell you why. When I think of someone reinventing himself, it means they have walked away from everything in their life, and started all over again, almost like an embryo coming into the world. When other people talk about reinventing themselves, they just going on to a different career. The closest that I have seen of anyone in reinventing themselves with the doctors who moved from Cuba, to the United States, to Florida, in particular was was we were 90 miles away from Cuba during the Cuban Missile Crisis. They had to reinvent themselves. They came to this country, they would not allow us to practice medicine, which to this day, just boggles the mind. The body does change from one country to another. You still have the same body the same anatomy, the same diseases, same everything. Why would they be banned from practicing medicine that they had practiced in Cuba or anywhere in the world. So when I hear about reinvented yourself, in my way of thinking, it means you are giving up your entire life. You're walking away from everything you've ever known. Everything that you've ever counted on for career, everything that you've ever counted on for relationships, because during that reinventing time, is giving up a lot of relationships. Some of the who you considered friends now are not friends anymore because they can't get anything more from you. So you are reinventing yourself on many different levels. I have not really come across people other than the doctors who came from Cuba, who were telling me about this. I've really not come across people who have reinvented themselves and I'm one of them. I never reinvented myself, and yet I heard someone say of climbing has reinvented herself hundreds of times Haven't, what I've done is I've added to what I had. I started when I was 13 years old, as a volunteer working with cerebral palsy children. So that started me with an interest in medicine. Also with children, and also with adversity, and things like that. And from there, I went on to be a volunteer for teaching children of migrant workers how to read, and to re evaluate the IQ test that would be given, which was terribly flawed. Because they spoke a different language, right? They would they were talking English, they would say, instead of saying, belt, the tea, they would say, the ELD. So on the IQ test, that's how I would be reading the ELD. So they would start to be retarded, well, of course, something like that. They didn't consider the fact that there was a language barrier. And that was very difficult for them to bypass. They didn't know how. So that was part of my job as volunteer. Then later on, I did all kinds of things. I, in college, I had two majors, which were English, and philosophy, and to minors, education, and psychology. Now, I have used those four things, those five things, or my life, whatever I've done have been extensions of. So the books that I've written, the articles that I've written, they all depended on my usage of the English language. The health programs that I decided to people around the world, again, goes back to my beginnings. Every everything has its roots in what I really came into this world to do. There was but I'm curious as to what other people think, because I have asked numerous people that I decided to tackle the issue of reinventing oneself. I questioned a lot of people and got a lot of different answers. None of which.
Alex Ferrari 18:02
Yeah. Yeah, I do have a little bit of an insight on this because I did literally reinvent myself at least once. That I know of where is when I left the film industry and opened up an olive oil and vinegar gourmet shop in Los Angeles, and accompany a gourmet company, and which is a complete disconnection from the film industry. I basically left everybody I knew behind. I mean, of course, I kept friendships and things like that, but I wasn't in the film industry anymore. Not really, I would do a job here and there maybe on the side, from one or two of my friends who would throw me some work, but nothing of any significance. my full time job was selling olive oil and balsamic vinegar, and doing farmer's markets and reinventing myself completely to the point where I did use skills that I had from my other life in this one where I was able to design websites and you know, sell things online. And I even shot a couple of shows that were olive oil, information shows and other one was called the balsamic bartender, where you show you how to make drinks with balsamic vinegar. One of the shows I started in the other show was an actor that I hired. So those things it was always in it's very difficult to get rid of that out of your blood when you're in the film industry for as long as I have been. But I did for three years, completely. Not was not in the film industry. And when I came out of that, I you know, it was my wife, thank God that was able to get a job that support our family while I started to figure out a new chapter in my life, which was podcast asking. And I started to podcast about the film industry. So was touching upon my experience. But to be frank, it was also another version of a reinvention. Because now, I wasn't known as a filmmaker, I wasn't known as an olive oil, and vinegar entrepreneur, I was now known as a podcaster. And then educator, which is something I really, I dabbled in a little bit early in my career, but never seriously. So there was a reinvention there as well. So I have reinvented myself and now you know, whether it's a reinvention or pivot, you know, I went from the film industry. Now, I've pivoted also to do next level soul, which is the spiritual and personal growth space. So it's not an reinvention, per se, that move, but it's definitely an invention of a new person inside of a new audience in a new space that has nothing to do with my former life as a filmmaking podcaster which I still am that as well. But I've kind of also created this new area to, to focus my energies on so that's kind of been my experience with reinvention. Other than that, I've pretty much always stayed in the film industry. Yeah. I one point I had a comic book company, but it was really was a reinvention. It was a little bit different. But that's basically my story.
Connie H. Deutsch 21:37
Well, that's exactly what I was saying. You said, we don't really invent ourselves. We take our strengths. And we use them differently. But it's not a reinvention. reinvention is someone who, by the Cuban Missile Crisis, showed us people who came to this country didn't speak English, we had to learn the language, who had to make a living, learning the language, or having learned the language, and narrow kinds of obstacles as far as getting employment. Those people reinvented themselves. You and I took our strengths. And we took from those strengths, where we needed for new things.
Alex Ferrari 22:41
So let me ask you a question. Why do you think people want to reinvent themselves? If there are going to be a reinvention of yourself? What causes that? And why do people do it on a much deeper standpoint? I mean, obviously, it's for, you know, clearly, like if you move to a new city, you can reinvent yourself in a way that nobody knows you there. And you can be whoever you want to be within the same industry as you did, or a new one. It's a little more difficult to do that nowadays with the internet and the digital footprints that you leave behind. But, but why do you think that there's a need or, or want with inside somebody to want to reinvent themselves?
Connie H. Deutsch 23:29
Oh, that's very easy. When you go through life, and you're facing ups and downs, and you're not prepared for them, all of a sudden, you think to yourself, I can't stand this life that I'm living, there's got to be something better. And so they try something. But they haven't discovered that there's a higher meaning behind all in discovering that there is something greater than you. That's when reinvention starts. Because you don't have anything to hold on to. Don't know that his Higher Self has been part of you, or your life, the way you had to do was reach for it, hold on to it, and start living that kind of higher existence. But until that happens, you're going to have these ups and downs that you can't control and you can't see into. And so you think, okay, if I reinvent myself, I can be anyone I want. I can do whatever I want. And my life is gonna be different. And the fact is is that it's not going to be different because you're still going to be just satisfied with your life, you're still not going to find what you need. Because you haven't found that higher self within you.
Alex Ferrari 25:14
I'll tell you what the the experience of me jumping into the olive oil and balsamic vinegar world and the gourmet world. I wanted something different. It's exactly what you're saying, I was not happy with the work that I was doing and editing and color grading and working on movies in that way. I wasn't happy, I was very burnt out, I was very disillusioned with the industry at the time, and I wanted to do something else. But when I got into when I literally jumped out of the frying pan into the fire, because working inside of the olive oil and vinegar world the way I did it, opening up a very expensive gourmet shop and Ventura Boulevard in the middle of Studio City, California, which is right in the heart of Hollywood. And all of that was more brutal, physically and mentally than anything I've ever dealt with in my life before. And I was stuck there for three years, because that was my lease. So I you know, I wasn't a guy that was gonna break his lease. So my wife and I, my poor wife went on her on the ride with me for this. Oh, and by the way, I also just had a pair of twins. And I opened the store up when I when my twins were six months old. Because I was a psychotic, I was an idiot, that was a moron. Then my wife didn't stop me because she was hopped up on hormones. And she said, Sure, let's do this. We're normally she's the same mind and their relationship. But it was exactly that. So it's not always reinvention is not always a good thing. Because it will unless you are, are you if you're changing from a place of strength, as opposed to a place of weakness, I think it's a little different. When I say strength, I mean, having a deeper connection to knowing who you are at the core. And that I think is what you're saying with understanding the higher version of yourself. If you if you're there and you want to reinvent yourself, you might want to or change what you're doing. But think the term reinvent. Would it make sense? Because you wouldn't want to reinvent yourself if you know who you are. Is that a fair statement?
Connie H. Deutsch 27:37
Alex Ferrari 27:38
Connie H. Deutsch 27:42
When you reinvent yourself in the satisfactory way, you have to reach for the higher self inside of you. The God within was the Buddha within or
Alex Ferrari 28:02
Okay, let me stop you there for a second. What's your definition of the higher self for people listening?
Connie H. Deutsch 28:09
I don't know how to describe it. It's It's knowing that there is force that is greater than you. You in the right direction that leads you to God or Buddha or our or whomever and provides you with the inner knowledge that you're going to need in life. It gives us the answers without you even asking for them. It leads you in directions that you would never think of by yourself. It's a force that is inside of you. It just beats you to the right place at the right time.
Alex Ferrari 29:01
And that play and that thing that's that higher self is dormant and so many people they go live lifetimes without connecting with that. But as soon as you connect with it, life starts to change for you. Is that fair?
Connie H. Deutsch 29:18
It's very fair. Because it happens I was riding home on on us one federal heartrate.
Alex Ferrari 29:31
I know it will.
Connie H. Deutsch 29:36
Show you do and traffic was bumper to bumper. It was a truck in front of me. And Greenlight went on. And so I lifted my foot on the accelerator. And I heard a voice within The same quick step on the brake. So without thinking I stepped on the brake really quickly. The evening news follows shortly thereafter, and is spoke about 16 pounds accidents 16 vehicles, mine was the only one that was not touched. There was glass and metal shattered all around us. I was without a scratch my car was it without a scratch. Everyone else had emergency rooms are occupied with car accidents. It's that was the higher stuff already made. It wouldn't happen that way.
Alex Ferrari 31:02
In to a lesser extent, it could be defined as your gut instinct, that thing that you kind of feel, but can't really put your your your your finger on.
Connie H. Deutsch 31:15
That would be for something different. Okay. This was worse, that I could not have seen or foreseen.
Alex Ferrari 31:25
Right before it was instant Yeah.
Connie H. Deutsch 31:29
I mean, it was this truck in front of me that was blocking my view of everything. So I couldn't have had happened intuitively.
Alex Ferrari 31:41
Let me ask you this. Connie, why do you believe that people have such a difficult time grasping with this concept of a higher self grasping that there is something not only greater than you. But that power is within you. And whether you want to admit it or not, has been helping you along your path throughout your life. And there's moments that things happen here or there, and you might just wash it away or ignore it or not even see it. Be conscious enough to see it. But there's something working? Why do you think people have such a hard time connecting with their higher self with, you know, self realization, if you will, to really understand that they are a spiritual entity, experiencing a human or physical life as opposed to a physical being? Experiencing a spiritual experience? It should be the other way around, correct?
Connie H. Deutsch 32:50
Well, it shouldn't be it shouldn't be debatable.
Alex Ferrari 32:54
It sure. But why do you think that's such a trouble with it?
Connie H. Deutsch 33:01
I think because expression, let go and let God and people are afraid of letting go. They're always looking to hold on to something familiar. Well, if you really believe in the higher power, then you know that you have to let go. Otherwise doesn't work. And people don't want to give up that control.
Alex Ferrari 33:35
Connie H. Deutsch 33:39
It's fear. It's not just ego, it's fear. If I give up this, what's gonna happen after that? So I would say that the ego comes in later on. After you've accomplished what you want, then the ego comes in and says, Oh, I knew we were wrong. No, I just do.
Alex Ferrari 34:10
Very, very, very true. Very, very true. No, it is that fear. I think, I mean, I think generally speaking, we're fairly fearful. You know, species. Fear is about around every corner for us. And that's one of the reasons why we've survived as a species because of our ability to obviously other scientific reasons why we have actually been able to survive as a species you know, working as a group and, and sharing and all this you know, and sharing information and, and our big brains and so on and so forth. But fear has been a big reason why we're around because we were always fearing about the tiger running around the corner who's going to eat us or something like that, where in today's world, we might not have it that that fear, but it's still within us. It's fear of being hurt. It's fear of emotionally, physically, it's fear of losing status, losing money losing relationships, I feel that there's so many people who are so fearful. And if they can't get through the fear and get through it, they can't, they can't get to the other side. And I speak to this from from a place of experience, where I've been fearful for most of my life, not saying that I'm not now. But in certain areas of my life, I've have literally let go and let God uncertain things I just said, You know what I got, I just gotta let it go. I can't, I can't do this anymore. I have to let go, I have to have faith in what's going to happen. And when I do things like that, anytime I've ever done that, especially even more recently, when I did it, doors started to swing open in ways that I can't even comprehend. And it was all because of letting go of the fear of what other people might say, of losing one I've have things like that. And if you trust and you, you know, you let go in a certain way, obviously, you can't be foolish about things. I'm like, I'm just gonna go bet everything on black in Vegas tomorrow, I'm letting go. That's not what I'm saying. But on a spiritual, but because people might listen to like, Alright, I'm letting go, let's see what happens. Like that's not that's just being dumb. But, you know, or taking a risky deal, or you know, a business deal or a risky relationship with someone that you shouldn't do. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about letting go of fear, fear that is stopping you at a much higher level than where you're at. And when you're able to break through that fear. So many magical things happen for people in life. And you can look at that through, if you just study people throughout history, they you see that they were able to break through fear. And by breaking through the fear, they were able to accomplish some very amazing things from Walt Disney to Steve Jobs to presidents to, you know, Siddartha. You know, Buddha, you know, breaking through his own fears. And Jesus, you can go the line goes on and on of people who but it all starts with that letting go a little bit and kind of like letting the letting the river take you. Thank you. I think you told me this once. Connie, where it's like the river runs by itself, it flows by itself, don't get out and try to push the river.
Connie H. Deutsch 37:54
Don't push the river flows by itself.
Alex Ferrari 37:56
That's what you said, yeah, don't push the river flows by itself. And when you said that, to me, I was just like, huh, she's absolutely right, it makes all the sense in the world. Because we, I've been guilty, most of my life of trying to control everything, and trying to manipulate an angle and try to figure out hacks to control it all. And anytime I've ever tried to grab on to something, it's when it becomes less and less likely that I can hold on. But when I've let go, it's when the doors have opened, where things that I was, after before, literally are given to me, literally, they're asking for it. You know, with my other show, I would have killed to speak to some of the people that I speak to now and build relationships with now, because of my show. And now, back then, when I was a younger filmmaker, I would have literally killed I was trying to control how do we get in the room? How do I get an hour with this person? And now they come to me. And now we have conversations I build relationships with people that I've always wanted to talk to, but I've let go of needing it. And it's it comes it's just a very counterintuitive way of looking at things. Because it doesn't make sense in the physical scenario. But on a spiritual standpoint, it does make all the sense in the world.
Connie H. Deutsch 39:29
Well, you and I are poles apart in the way we think. I have more of a laid back temperament than you. I played back and see what's going to unfold before I act. I might have a vision of what I want and if it's very, very important. I will do Keep visualizations. If it's not very, very important, I don't do that. I don't bother God with fibia. But it comes down to what is important in your life. So most things are not that important in my life. My spiritual leanings are very important. When I let go of anything in the spiritual, I'm always disappointed. I'm always at a loss as to what did I do wrong? Well, that's the highest self saying to me. Yeah, you did something wrong. Now fix it. And it's up to me to fix what I did wrong. But for the most part, I don't try to control the atmosphere. I don't try to control other people's thoughts about me. You know, I always came from the decision of, I will never be the most popular person in the universe. I just have to do what I have to do. My parents always told me question everything. Use your mind thinks things through. Don't care about public opinions,
Alex Ferrari 41:37
Which is really interesting, because you said something at the beginning of our conversation, that you said it before, I was concerned about offending people. But now I'm not so much. And that statement is so true. Because a lot of fear that we have in life is based about what other people will think of us, whether that be your family, society, job, country, company, you work for the guy around the corner, all of it. And so much of our driving, fear the the force behind so many of our decisions, just purely fear of making sure we look good, making sure we take care of ourselves, making sure and don't get me wrong, all that stuff is that you should take care of yourself, you should look good as as best you can. But, but for the right reasons, not as opposed to caring about what other people think. And in the world that we live in now with social media, where so many people are putting out these fake versions of their of their lives. People are even more so afraid of saying anything, because they get jumped on by everybody. Because if if offends or not offends, and so on and so forth. I mean, do you find that that is one of the driving factors in fear in most people? Is the good opinion, you know, caring about the good opinion of others?
Connie H. Deutsch 43:04
Lets just correct some things that just says that. My saying at the beginning, my fear of offending people that because God, there was only one reason that I was afraid of that. And that was because it was your podcast, not my own. Fair enough. And your podcast, I did not want to jeopardize.
Alex Ferrari 43:34
Fair enough. I appreciate that.
Connie H. Deutsch 43:39
So that's why I asked if I could speak to your audience about this Thrive versus God. It made all the difference in the world as to am I speaking? Something that's going to jeopardize what ours is trying to do the message she's trying to deliver to to everybody. And if it is that I need to change course. Got it, because I can't I can't jeopardize what I know you have to do as your mission. Okay, and that was my concerns. If it was just me, I'd go No, hell bent for leather.
Alex Ferrari 44:35
So, so then that question is Do you still think that the fear of other people's opinions is what drives so many of our decisions?
Connie H. Deutsch 44:46
Oh, absolutely. I can't tell you the number of clients I have had, who have expressed that very thing about what other people thought of themselves when we thought of them? And I would say to them, in all honesty, most people don't give you a moment's thought. Right Thinking. Right? And it's true, because when you get off the phone with someone, but are you thinking of you thinking of the other person? And have their reacted to you? Are you thinking about your own situation?
Alex Ferrari 45:38
More likely what I have to do next, where I'm going, what's happening tonight, and so on?
Connie H. Deutsch 45:43
Exactly. You know what, so you gotta, you're already be occupied with things that are going on in your life, you're not thinking about the other person's faux pas, or whatever. You're allowing them themselves, and you're being yourself.
Alex Ferrari 46:05
You know, what I find fascinating is that, in 100 years, no one cares. In 200 years, the opinion of somebody else to hide of you matters, not to your own journey, to your own path. And I've come to learn that more and more, especially being, you know, in the limited public eye that I have been over these last six, seven years, where, you know, I, I'm sure I'm judged, daily, every hour, someone's listening to one of my shows, or consuming some of my content, or watching one of my videos. So I'm sure there's comments and opinions of me, and some people love what I do. Some people don't like what I do. And I can't be concerned with that. You got to do the best job you can, and you got to come from a good place. But I always tell people in 100 years, no one's gonna care. on your deathbed, are you going to go Oh, chicken, remember how Johnny thought of me. He's remember how bill really didn't like me, that's not going to be
Connie H. Deutsch 47:15
You know, you're going to think of, Oh, I hear mom's baking. I want something before I die.
Alex Ferrari 47:23
Right! You're in your own urine, your own universe, your own your own path, your own journey. You know, and so many people get caught up with what other people think. And that takes time to break through that fear. And being in the public eye definitely helps with that. Because you're exposed to more and more of it. But now with social media, we all have an opportunity, if you if you are on social media, to to truly not give a crap about what other people think of you. Because if you're doing what you're supposed to be doing on your journey on your path, and you're doing it righteously. And it means something to you, then what does it matter if somebody else doesn't like it? It's not there. It's not their path. It's not their journey. It's yours. You know, so many people get caught up with that. And at the end of the day, it's you, you, you come into this world alone, and you leave alone, you have people along the way that you love, and they love you and they spend time with you, and you're on the journey together. But at the end of the day, you come in alone, and you leave alone, but there is someone inside you something inside you, helping you guiding you through that process. And that's the goal of our life is to connect to that, to connect to that higher power. Because when you do, things just start opening up in ways that you can't see right now, if you're listening, you can't really see those things until you let go. And I've learned that in my life. You know, I'm, I know you call me a young man. But you know, I'm getting close to 50 years old, which I know in your world, you're like, oh, you're a baby. Born. I know. But in my world, you know, I'm been around the planet close to 50 years. And I've seen a few things. And I'm sorry.
Connie H. Deutsch 49:28
I'm in my dotage.
Alex Ferrari 49:29
Exactly. So the thing is, but I've seen a few things and and as you get older, you you know, if you are on the path, certain things start becoming coming to light and start making more sense to you because you just been around a little bit longer. Not everybody, definitely not everybody. There's many people who will never learn in this life. These kinds of lessons, but if you're ready to hear these, these words, and if you're listening to this right now, chances are Are you are ready for this? Because if not, you wouldn't have tuned in or started watching this video, you're searching for something. I think if you can connect with that higher power, whatever you want to call it, and you're specifically, to get to the higher power you need to connect with the higher self is as a direct connection to the higher power. Is that correct? Connie, in your opinion?
Connie H. Deutsch 50:27
High power is your higher self.
Alex Ferrari 50:29
They're one in the same. Yes. They're one in the same. And I think that's what people need to really think about. And I think, you know, how you get there is unique to you. Everyone has
Connie H. Deutsch 50:47
I heard about what people thought
Alex Ferrari 50:51
You were blessed with. Most, most people don't have that option. Most people have to work through that.
Connie H. Deutsch 50:58
Well, I never felt like I was, you know, I kept cheering for my parents, you can't have this, you are different, you can't have that you are different. So I accepted that I was not going to be popular. I accepted that I was not going to be flavor of the month. And I just stopped thinking about whether they liked me or didn't like me, and just assume that nobody liked me. And I could say whatever I wanted, much to the just, I parents
Alex Ferrari 51:42
No I always liked I always wanted to be liked. And I always used humor to get to that place. And I have the ability to to make people laugh and connect with people on a different level, I've been able to do that since I was a kid, I always had that skill set. But I was born I was kind of like I always tell people, you were programmed from the factory like that. That's not something you learn. That's that's programming from the factory.
Connie H. Deutsch 52:10
Well, when I do my counseling, that didn't play tremendously. Because it's not me, who's guiding them. It's a higher power that's guiding them. And I feel like the words that they're latching on to have nothing to do with me. It has to do with them, and how they perceive themselves. Now I can make them feel better about themselves, and correct their behaviors that are holding them back. And I do a lot of that. I changed behavior patterns. Because the way they're going. That's what leads into wanting to reinvent themselves. If they change their habit patterns, then they're learning how to reach their highest self.
Alex Ferrari 53:17
Do you have any suggestions on how someone can let go? Is there any advice on how to do it? I mean, it's kind of like, you know, telling an alcoholic or just stop drinking. Like, it's extremely difficult for someone like that to do that. Same Same goes for breaking through fear. There's fears that paralyze people for lifetimes. What do you have to say in regards to any advice on how to connect with that higher self, how to let go of where you're where you're at?
Connie H. Deutsch 53:56
Two different things. He talked about habits on one side, and then you talking about both of us. You can't really address phobias. They are very, very difficult to break.
Alex Ferrari 54:12
Well look fear, no, but the fear of letting go meaning like I'm afraid of losing what I have or I'm afraid of what people will think those kinds of fears. Those aren't phobias, per se, they're just fears Am I right?
Connie H. Deutsch 54:25
But there are people who cannot get into an airplane because they have a phobia.
Alex Ferrari 54:32
That's a different kind of fear that I'm talking about. Yeah, I understand what you're saying. Those are difficult. Those are that's a whole other world.
Connie H. Deutsch 54:40
But those are the ones that I work with people on
Alex Ferrari 54:44
Okay. So what do you suggest?
Connie H. Deutsch 54:51
I always tell people, don't try to eat the bear in one sitting. Take small this at a time and work on the small pieces until you get to the deep pieces. And then everything changes. So a few have, first of all the people I counsel, I always give them homework assignments. And the homework assignments are designed to do just that. Making them let go. I'll take an example of OCD. Very, very difficult to let go of OCD. People have these jobs because they can't leave the house without running back 50 million times to see if they turned off the gas. So you have fears that are not explained. That just don't recognize when someone has OCD. They then down the primrose path and accomplish nothing. So I give them homework assignments. I'll give you an example. One of the things that someone who has OCD does his count, have one who counts from the minute she wakes up, how many breaths she took, she counts how many steps the bathroom, he counts how many steps to the kitchen, she cuts something up like a cucumber, lunch. And she the number of slices. She counts everything. In order to get her to stop that. I made her substitute letters of the alphabet. And she had to mix them around. So instead of saying 123, she has say, the J. F. And in time, she stopped counting.
Alex Ferrari 57:11
Broke the programming, if you will, to kind of like re rewired a few things.
Connie H. Deutsch 57:17
Oh, absolutely. Anytime you change behaviors, you are rewiring. I have clients who have said to me, I'm not going to do homework assignments. Because I really don't see Nessus the necessity to change. This is how I father was this is how I am. And I don't see that this has to change. And I would say to them, Why are you here? Why come to counseling, if you don't want to make changes, Well, maybe it's because they think that, well, they've heard something. In fact, I had a phone call from a guy. I don't think I will ever forget. I said to him You know, he was he was looking for something. And I said to him, I will not tell you that you Alexander's degrade in the past lifetime. But I will tell you that are your behaviors in this lifetime. He said to me, I don't think I'm going to come to you. I want to I want to think I was out the Great.
Alex Ferrari 58:41
Most people do. Most people think they were great king or something. But most of the times we've just the peasant
Connie H. Deutsch 58:51
Most of the time they were,
Alex Ferrari 58:55
Just do math. There's only so many people could be Alex the Great.
Connie H. Deutsch 59:01
Well, depends on how many lifetimes they have to work to accomplish it.
Alex Ferrari 59:06
Connie H. Deutsch 59:11
In one note, anything like that he wanted to be Alexander the Great. And he was nowhere near that kind of an incarnation. Like to him, I said him. I don't see you as Alexander the Great.
Alex Ferrari 59:39
You know, what's fascinating is that our conversation started off very much for about reinvention. And basically what we've been able to come up with what I'm gathering from our conversation thus far is that reinvention many times comes from a place of fear some and not being able to find themselves are connected to that higher power. And we've kind of talk, I mean, I think we've talking people out of reinventing themselves, and more like, connect with the higher self more, be a good person, that kind of stuff and you can, things are gonna work out, am I missing the point?
Connie H. Deutsch 1:00:26
That Oh, if you do things, for people to help them prove their lies, you're raising the vibration of the earth. If you do things like bullying someone, you're taking the earth vibration down a notch.
Alex Ferrari 1:00:54
Connie H. Deutsch 1:00:55
If you keep that kind, then what's the purpose of reinventing yourself? You don't have to? You will be much happier that way.
Alex Ferrari 1:01:09
Yeah, because it's reinventing. Reinventing yourself. I think reinventing yourself is not an easy task, it's a very painful task in many ways.
Connie H. Deutsch 1:01:20
Life can be very painful.
Alex Ferrari 1:01:22
Life is very painful. It can be it is it's part of the part of what we do life is it is a painful, painful process in many, many ways. It doesn't have to be all the time. But the more you're connected to the material, the more pain you have, the more you're connected to the spiritual or to the higher self, the less pain you have. Buddha was saying that it's like one of the main principles of Buddhism. You know, pain comes from pain and suffering comes from want from connection to the material. And that's not It's not easy to to let go of that.
Connie H. Deutsch 1:02:12
Right, or, Oh, your life was not easy. My later life has been very easy. But it's because of what I have done. Make it that way. Whereas in the beginning, I didn't have a clue. I just took things as they happen without trying to understand why they happened. Understand, understanding why these things happen, is key to whether or not your life is going to be easy or hard. If you understand why it's necessary to help people. I had one. One thing by homework assignments is to some people do something nice to someone each day, a different person each day. So one of my clients. His response was he took a woman and helped to request the street. That was his kindness of the day. One of my female clients said, my tank concept of helping of doing something nice, someone is not tripping them.
Alex Ferrari 1:03:47
Well, that's one way to look at it. I guess. I didn't punch you in the face. You're welcome.
Connie H. Deutsch 1:03:54
Exactly. I mean, these answers just floored me.
Alex Ferrari 1:04:00
You know, it's so funny because we as a species are, there's a chemical reaction when we give when we are kind and are of service and give to another human being. There is a chemical that is that is released in your body to make you feel good. That's why it feels so good. It is better to give than it is to receive you actually feel better. There has been scientific, scientific experiments about this. And the one that comes to mind is they give you know, 10 people $100.05 of them get to keep the $500.05 of them have to give it away. And at the end, the five that gave it away, felt so much better than the people who kept it. And it is something that's inside of us but yet we forget about that because the ego has such a control over us so many times. You're like I need more I want more What about me? What about me? What am I be, and then think about everybody else's and think about the community doesn't think about the country you live in doesn't think about the world that you live in, it's only interested in itself, the ego. But when you are when you break away from that a little bit, and you are able to give God It feels so good to do so.
Connie H. Deutsch 1:05:25
Well, it's one of the things that people hold against, which is that I give, I'm very bad at receiving.
Alex Ferrari 1:05:39
Well, there has to be a balance a little bit. I think I'm that wait. My family gets very angry at me during the holidays. What do you want? I don't want anything. Good. Give me some underwear give me some underwear, give me some socks, I need those things. I guess, you know, that's, that's all I need. I don't need anything. I'm good. And we're getting to that place in my life where I don't care about presence. I don't care about that kind of stuff. I rather go off and have an experience with my family. That would be you know, more, more enticing to me, then a new piece of something or other?
Connie H. Deutsch 1:06:22
Oh, I can think about is you exhibiting your underwear to show your enjoying it
Alex Ferrari 1:06:33
Now on that note! No, um, no, I think that I think our conversation today Connie was is very enlightening, because it touches on something even greater than reinvention, which is fear. And fear is one of those things that really just dominates all of us in many, many ways. It dominates countries, it dominates the states communities dominate so many different aspects of our lives. And if we're able to kind of break through that a little bit more, even individually, we start to help change the world. And that way, we're able to see the change that we want to see in the world in ourselves, which is as cliche as that might sound. It does help, you know, my wanting to give back to my community, as filmmakers and screenwriters and, and those kinds of things, has helped 10s of 1000s of people around the world and help them in ways that I can't even comprehend. This show is starting to help people in ways that I can't comprehend yet. Because I'm doing the effort of giving. You know, starting the show, there is no reason for me to believe that I'll ever get anything back from it. I do it because I want to do it. You know, sure one day, maybe I'll be making some money off of this to sustain myself so I could keep doing this. But I do this because I love doing it. And I truly want to help people listening. And by interviewing and speak, having conversations with people like yourself, I hope that we're helping people along the way.
Connie H. Deutsch 1:08:38
Well, the big thing is that if you are doing for other people, such as what you're doing with the film industry, you're doing to help other people. You really have a need to reinvent yourself.
Alex Ferrari 1:08:55
No, not actually not at all. There is no need for it. There is no need for reinvention. You know, we we are changing. We're all changing. But we're all kind of stacking things that we've learned along the way. But to reinvent yourself is I don't know if it's even needed it I don't think it is.
Connie H. Deutsch 1:09:20
It's needed by people who don't look at other people's needs. Don't try to help them diminish Earth. atmosphere, so to speak, would take away from the vibrations of the earth. Those are the people want to want to change if our part reaches even one person and makes that person aware have the need to help somebody but have accomplished a great deal. And that person will not have to reinvent themselves. And that's a big
Alex Ferrari 1:10:16
That's a big what?
Connie H. Deutsch 1:10:19
Alex Ferrari 1:10:22
Agreed, agreed 100%. Well, I hope that people listening has gotten something out of this, this conversation. And I do want to take a moment to let everybody know that next level soul is going to be publishing some of your books. In the near future, a lot of your life's work, actually, we're going to be releasing it as the first books in the next level Soul series of books that we have coming out. And you have, like, a lot of books.
Connie H. Deutsch 1:11:02
And I only have certain
Alex Ferrari 1:11:05
Yeah, you might only have yet but I'm going through all of them. So it seems like it's a lot of books
Connie H. Deutsch 1:11:12
You're only going to 12 of them. Searching book is almost finished.
Alex Ferrari 1:11:17
Well, we're and we'll get to that one too. When it's ready. It's ready. But I want people to look to keep an eye out for those in the in the next level, Soul universe of stuff that we're going to be bringing out to hopefully help more and more people. And if you want to reach reach out to Connie book, a consulting session with her or check out her books when they come out. All you got to do is go to next level sold comm forward slash Connie. And now I'll take you to more information about Connie more information about the books that we'll be releasing. And in her other interview that she did with us as well as this one. So is there anything else you'd like to say Connie, before we go?
Connie H. Deutsch 1:12:02
No, this has been a delight. I didn't expect it to be so delightful.
Alex Ferrari 1:12:07
I don't know how to take that Connie. But thank you
Connie H. Deutsch 1:12:14
I haven't done these things in years.
Alex Ferrari 1:12:18
Well, I'm telling you Connie, I think you and I when we get together it's magic. I doubt that this will be the last time you'll be on the show. I I have a feeling that you'll be on probably before this year is out. We'll have you back on and talk more I think I think the audience really likes hearing us talk so and have a conversation about different topics of of our journeys. So I appreciate you coming on the show. And thank you so so much for everything that you have done for me and as well as for the next level soul audience so thank you again, my dear.
Connie H. Deutsch 1:12:55
And thank you for making it so much easier for me because I was really nervous about it.
Links and Resources
- Connie H. Deutsch – Website
- Connie H. Deutsch – Books
- How to Discover the Meaning of Your Life
- AWAKE: The Life of Yogananda
- Autobiography of a Yogi
- Earthing.com: End Inflammation Today – Discover the Science-Based Healing Powers of Earthing/Grounding
- FREE Mindvalley Spiritual Masterclasses
- MUSE 2: The Brain Sensing Headband – Meditation Tracker Headset Device
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