Special Ops GREEN BERET: Most UNBELIEVABLE Near-Death Soul Journey You’ll EVER HEAR with Tu Lam (Ronin)

In the intricate dance of life, sometimes we find ourselves drawn to stories that stir our souls, tales of profound resilience and deep spiritual awakening. Today’s episode brings such a story to our ears as we welcome Tu Lam, a spiritual warrior whose journey from war-torn Vietnam to the disciplined world of Special Forces unveils the essence of the human spirit and the transformative power of inner peace.

Tu Lam’s life began amidst the chaos of the Vietnam War, a tumultuous start that would shape his destiny in ways unimaginable. His early years were marked by survival, escaping the horrors of war on a fishing boat with his mother, facing pirates, storms, and near starvation. Yet, this early exposure to adversity planted the seeds of resilience and an unyielding will to overcome.

Tu Lam, Ronin

As a young refugee in America, Tu faced the harsh realities of racism and poverty. These challenges, however, only strengthened his resolve. Guided by the warrior ethos of the samurai, he delved into the teachings of Bushido, finding solace and purpose in its ancient virtues of honor, duty, and compassion. It was during these formative years that he began to forge the path of a modern-day warrior, one who fights not just physical battles, but also the inner conflicts that shape our lives.

Tu’s journey into the military was a natural progression. At the age of 18, he joined the Army, and by 21, he was a Special Forces Green Beret, living the warrior’s path he had admired since childhood. His military career took him to the most volatile regions of the world, where he fought for the oppressed and protected the innocent. Yet, amidst the valor and the victories, he carried with him the heavy burdens of war, trauma, and the relentless quest for meaning.

In this profound conversation, Tu Lam shares, “Purpose, there was a higher purpose. I didn’t know it at the time.” His reflections reveal a deep understanding of the karmic and dharmic roles we play in the universe. As a warrior, he protected, fought, and survived, embodying the very essence of his dharma. But it wasn’t until he began his spiritual journey, much later in life, that he truly understood the higher purpose guiding him.


  1. Resilience in Adversity: Tu Lam’s story teaches us that even in the darkest times, resilience is born. His survival through war and hardship as a child laid the foundation for a life of tenacity and strength.
  2. The Power of Inner Peace: Despite the chaos around him, Tu found solace in the teachings of Bushido and later through meditation and spiritual practices. This inner peace became his sanctuary and source of strength.
  3. Forgiveness and Healing: Tu’s journey underscores the importance of forgiveness—not just of others, but of oneself. Through meditation and introspection, he learned to forgive his past and embrace healing.

Tu’s story is a testament to the human spirit’s capacity for transformation. After retiring from the military, he faced a new battle—reconciling his past traumas and finding a path to inner peace. It was through meditation, journaling, and the exploration of various spiritual practices that he began to heal. His experiences with psychedelics, such as mushrooms and iboga, provided profound insights and accelerated his journey toward self-discovery and forgiveness.

Tu Lam, Ronin

He describes a pivotal moment, saying, “I found God within me and you and everything. We’re all one.” This realization became the cornerstone of his spiritual awakening, a truth that transcended the pain and suffering of his past. Tu Lam’s story is not just about survival; it’s about thriving through understanding and embracing our true selves.

In conclusion, Tu Lam’s life journey from a war-torn refugee to a decorated Green Beret and finally to a spiritual warrior is a powerful narrative of resilience, transformation, and the pursuit of inner peace. His story reminds us that no matter where we start, our paths can lead us to profound spiritual awakenings and deeper understandings of our place in the universe.

Please enjoy my conversation with Tu Lam.

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Follow Along with the Transcript – Episode 446

Tu Lam 0:00
In my journey is each each person has their own breed. Right? And we are shocked Rhea is a warrior class and I asked the Charmin one time I said, was I anything else? Besides this warrior? He is. And he said to me, he said, I don't think you understand you're like, it's like a breed of dog, you know, like a German Shepherd pit bull, your lawyer. And that's your karma. That's your dharma within this universe.

Alex Ferrari 0:44
I would like to welcome to the show Tu Lam how're you doing Tu?

Tu Lam 0:48
Hello! How's it going Alex?

Alex Ferrari 0:50
Thank you so much for coming on the show brother. I'm such a fan of your work your journey man what you're doing in the world what you've gone through man you are the the definition of tenacity and just not stop and man no matter what. So I appreciate you coming on man. I'm looking forward to talking about not only your your journeys through life, maybe spiritual journey as well, which is I have a feeling it's going to be pretty intense.

Tu Lam 1:19
Yes, yes.

Alex Ferrari 1:21
Yeah, you and we were just talking before you've been watching the show. And you actually I was you shot You shocked me. By the way, when you said that. I was like, I can't believe you actually watch the show. And you're a fan of the shows. I appreciate that.

Tu Lam 1:32
Oh, huge fan of the show. I'm a big fan of yours, Alex, and you, you know you put together the puzzle man, you know, and I feel like religion and spirituality is a part of the puzzle. And you kind of bring it all together, right? Because each part of the world, you know, we bring it all together. And you did a great job in that.

Alex Ferrari 1:52
Oh, appreciate that, brother. Appreciate that. So so let's let's take it to the beginning then your childhood in Vietnam. Can you talk a little bit about what you went through because I wanted to set the stage for the journey and, and the best place to start at the beginning.

Tu Lam 2:08
know, in the beginning, zero to seven is the program. You know, that's that's your subconscious program. My zero to seven was war, I was a child born in war. In fact, my mother showed my body for the incoming artillery fired more than my birth. I was on the losing side of the War, Vietnam War. So American troops left Vietnam at that portion. And I lost my freedoms and country after a few months old. We live underneath communist oppression. at three years old, we escaped on a wooden fishing boat. Now I want to tell you, Alex, for there's an estimate of 400,000 Refugees die at sea. And my mother loaded up on the bottom deck of a fishing boat. And we left Vietnam. And the reason why she said that there's no way that my sons are gonna grow up as communists, you know, in this new ideal, so she was willing to risk at all. First we had to escape the military guards patrolling the coasts for fleeing refugees. And Iran, he got caught sent to labor camps where you eventually die. Then the pirates from surrounding countries, you know, they would these criminals who stopped the boats, they would force the board boats killed them in rape the women and slaves children. And then the typhoon strength of tropical storm in the South China Sea. So all these things were going against us, you know. And somehow we navigated past all that we made our way into Malaysia where the Malaysian Coast Guard stopped this gunpoint. They later on and it separated a rich group from the poor group. I was the poor group. And we were loaded back up on the boats and under the cover of darkness that pulled us back out into the South China Sea. When, when de Farley broke, when there's no more side land, they shot the motor or cut the line, the left start to die. My mother said We drifted for nearly 30 days, you know, lack of food and water Dead was thrown overboard. Somehow we got caught up in a huge tropical storm, I want you to imagine a fishing boat in a huge tropical storm. She said that there's a miracle that are both in capsid. You know, and somehow this storm washed us further further out into the South China Sea where we're eventually saved by Russian paths and Russian supply. But you know, and I tell you, man, like that's a god story. Yeah, you know,

Alex Ferrari 4:45
There's no doubt I mean, there's no doubt about it. I mean, listen, my people, I'm Cuban. So I was born in the US, but many of my relatives were not, and they went through nothing as horrific as that but many of my relatives did. Come over on boats escaping had the night from the communist in Cuba. And let's get like chills just thinking about it because I know a lot of, of my family a lot of my friends back in Miami had gone through that, especially with a certain generation. And the stories you hear are the ones that you here made it. So that means that they made it that that's a miracle in itself. But what you're talking about, I mean, that's absolutely guardian angel. Kind of world brother because I mean, there's just I mean, there's no reason why you should be alive man.

Tu Lam 5:34
Purpose, purpose, there's there was a higher purpose. I didn't know at the time. So you know, we dropped that scene. And we got rescued by a Russian supply bow now I want to tell you Russian supply boat like Russian there, he took his country, right. But they chose humanity. You know, and he saved us. And they, they brought us to want to direct you camps in Indonesia where, you know, eventually my parents and I we spent a year and a half in these refugee camps. Now, in these refugee camps, 1000s have died of disease, starvation, just just a plot of land in the jungle man, you know, and then, you know, after a year and a half, when we finally made it here to the land at the free, were spit on, you know, flicked off, were called by many racist names. The Vietnam War was not popular. You know, and, and you grew up, we seem like we're the same age. We grew up in the 80s. And it was racist times and 80s. You know, especially after the Vietnam War. I was raised in Fayetteville, North Carolina right outside of Fort Bragg. Fort Bragg is the home of the Special Forces. That's the training ground. Now, why I say that is purpose because I want I want to align, I want to align the stars up for you. So first, I survived that escape and I survived the refugee camps. We move over to the states facing racism, poverty. Eventually, my parents got divorced when I was seven, and then my mother remarried, to American special forces Green Berets. So eight years old, I was indoctrinated into a very strict military lifestyle. My uncle was American special forces Greenbrae officer, he's the one who, who did the paperwork for us to get out of refugee camps. He married my aunts when he was fighting war in Vietnam. And, you know, special forces, they saw a lot of stuff there. Right. So, after when I went to Favio, I saw the post Vietnam War years, you know, like the PTSD, I saw it because I was raised around that, that life's you know, the special forces. And, you know, for me in the 80s, man, I was, I didn't have very much friends, you know, I was picked on I was to call me all sorts of races names, war movies really begun 80s You know, well, that gave them you know, my peers to greenlight to call me by air resource of racist name because he was a Vietnam War movies, you know, so I had to deal with all that man, you know, and, and, and I grew up around the special forces training ground. And I'll tell you, man, like in the 80s kung fu theater, remember that like,

Alex Ferrari 8:25
Dude, come into Sunday, dude, Sunday, Sunday afternoons, bro. Are you kidding? Yeah, watch out watch kung fu you know, with the bad the bad dubbing and stuff, Bruce Lee, all that stuff. And even come through theaters. And if you go to the they would just theater to just play kung fu movies all the time. People, people who weren't around in the 80s don't understand the wave that it was away from the 70s that came in of kung fu cinema in general. And it was in Bruce Lee was the one that kind of kicked the door down. Oh, dude, unless it was glorious times.

Tu Lam 8:58
I know you're in the movie industry. And you know, so you can really respect that. So the ninjas, so as a child, I wanted to be a ninja.

Alex Ferrari 9:10
Who didn't? I had tried throwing stars. I had I did not do the nunchucks because I would have killed somebody including myself. But I had I had thrown into the head the throwing stars. Oh, they would they were people to understand in the 80s. I was in Florida, I think in the 80s by the movie theaters, they would have ninjas stores, where you could go buy nunchucks swords, flood throwing stars, all that kind of stuff. And the whole store was just that back in the day. Can you imagine?

Tu Lam 9:41
I remember man like nine years old, I was introduced to the ninjas. And 10 Nine years old, I was introduced to Bushido. So the way the warrior, right the ancient ethics of the samurai and and you know for those people don't know what Bushido means. means there's certain virtues of bushido. You know, compassion, duty, honor, respect, low tea, justice, courage, you know, all the pillars, the core values, you know, in very Confucius and in in, in the warrior based, you know samurais you know, I didn't know any of that back then. But that led me to the Bushido Code. And I didn't know the strength, like I didn't know, the depth of bushido, you know, at that time. So at 13 Look, man, 13 I was being picked on was racist times, I was a small little Asian refugee boy, you know, picked on a lot, and I didn't have very much friends. So my brother and I, we would go to the local library, and my brother became a doctor. So he naturally graduated towards the doctor books. The man I went to be a ninja. So I, I started reading about Bushido. And believe it or not, that led me to the dollar gene. At a very young age, you know, very young age. When I say young age 13 was when I first saw the dalla Ji and Lao Tzu. Put it all together. Right. And I truly feel like God puts things in front of us, there's a certain path, right. And, you know, for me, it was a Warrior's Path. Because I saw the warrior at nine, I wanted to be 113, or saw a deeper meaning in Warrior as Confucius and Lao Tzu and, you know, there's, there's a, I don't know, you know, the caste system. It's Hindus, okay. So, you know, you had God, you have to preach the King, the priest, and you got the warrior class that protects the Burma, which, which is the king. So I was introduced to that. And you know, at a very young age, didn't put it all together, didn't put it all together, right. And all I knew is I wanted to be a ninja. And at 13, I started getting interested in what my uncle and stepfather did Special Forces. The Panama war was happening during that timeframe and 80s. Right, I was starting to become a teenager, I was reading these special operations manuals that I will see laying around the house about how to put up a claim or anti tank weapon, I will read about it as a teenager, because, you know, my, my stepfather was learning some of that stuff, right. And he had to bring it home and study that. So I would dive into it. And I would say around 13, I realized the Special Forces mission and was so the Special Forces motto is D oppressed libre translate in Latin you needs to free the oppressed. So the army was sin, Green Berets all around the world, to fight for the people who can't fight for themselves, for fight for the press, to fight for the very people that were my parents. The people that were born out of the insurgency, or the children, or the lives lost, who's going to protect him? Green Berets. And I knew that. So at 16 I started training, high school or run long distance run certain, my body strong, you know,

Alex Ferrari 13:35
Tu before you continue, I don't want you to go too far. Because I want to go back for a second. During during the time that you were coming up man and going through the hell that you were going through and make and survived. What part did spirituality play? If any, at your life at that point? Did you Was there a god? Were you angry at that? God? What what what what was going on? Because I could only imagine, at that age, I would have been livid. I wouldn't be like, Screw you. How can you do this to me? How can you have seen so much and like, how did you? What was that? Like, in those early years?

Tu Lam 14:07
No man, like my mother was Buddhists. And and she wouldn't practice Buddhism. She would practice ancestral honor. You know, I mean, in my stepfather, I didn't see anything. So I wasn't raised around God, the Bible. I didn't know any of that. In fact, there was a cartoon called Superbook back in the day, and these kids read this, they will get stuck out. It's raining so they have to stay inside the car. Can they stay inside and had a robot and then you open up Super Book, which is the Bible, and then they'll go into the book. Right? And it actually met Jesus and all that. That was my only glimpse of religion, but I also thought it was a fairy tale.

Alex Ferrari 14:55
Right! But it wasn't spiritual. No, it wasn't. It was even in the Buddhist you weren't going down Buddha's path. path or a Buddhist way. So you were so barely even was part of your life at that point.

Tu Lam 15:06
The only thing I felt if I remember my childhood was man, I just wanted to be accepted.

Alex Ferrari 15:11
I feel like most of us, yeah, right. Like, all of us wanted to be accepted men.

Tu Lam 15:17
Yeah, never felt accepted as a child. And you know that it got to a point where I didn't need to be accepted. You know, so I walked my path as a lawyer. I'm 16 I started my training. You know, I was reading I always say in high school, I was reading The Art of War by Sun Tzu. I was reading about the 47 Ronan's read Bushido so very warrior you know?

Alex Ferrari 15:46
Five rings did you read five rings too?

Tu Lam 15:48
Five rings at 13.

Alex Ferrari 15:50
Jesus dude that I was I was watching Saturday morning cartoons.

Tu Lam 15:56
You know? But Alex, I told him I didn't understand any of it. You know, why are you comparing a lawyer to a merchant and a farmer, you know, now I understand right? Now I look back at 13 you I don't understand it. And but it led me down a Warrior's Path. I knew that special forces was my ticket. I knew if I made it through that train, which high nutrition right, I knew if I made it through, I can go back to those third world countries I could fight. I could fight for those oppressed. You know, and I, I knew that. But it wasn't compassion there. I couldn't say that I was I wanted to go back and fight for the people for compassion. Because I wasn't that great of a child back then, you know, I was I was living in my house asleep. I was living in my trauma. And I wanted I wanted war. You so angry, very angry, very angry. 18 I joined the Army. I started my career with the paratrooper infantry then I made my way into amphibious Long Range Reconnaissance teams, tried out for special forces in a 21 I was a special forces Greenbrae on a team for deploy Okinawa, Japan. 21. Yeah, I knew I wanted and, you know, in Japan, what a better way to learn Bushido the way the lawyer, right. So I fought, I fought in underground matches. I fought in cage matches in back when UFC started coming out. You know, you started unfolding in the Marine Corps bases and stuff. So I'll go find tough man matches the Marine Corps Base. I just had something to prove Alex. Like, I had something to prove. And I felt like I didn't belong. And I knew like I just had this rage in me. I couldn't control it. You know, so I got to the teens and kicking doors, blow up stuff, shoot freefall. You know, you're doing all that Spec Ops stuff. And that wasn't even good enough for me. So I, I bowed into a dojo and I would fight on the weekends, you know. And, you know, being in the military, the army owns you. So they don't want they spend millions of dollars training you say they don't want you to get hurt on a cage match. So I fought like, underground.

Alex Ferrari 18:19
So you're so you're basically you're basically stating the plot of Bloodsport, essentially right now. You're Frank Dukes. And and then you got the military guys chasing you. Like we spent a lot of money on costs and spent a lot of money on you. Boy, we can't have you hurt yourself in this in this palmitate.

Tu Lam 18:38
Yeah. And you know, I was part of a counterterrorism unit back down. So you know, I was training for this one fight. It was a big, big, big match. And my pager went off. We flew into Malaysia, we did a counter terrorist mission. We're in the jungles for 30 days. And I flew back three days later, I thought I had jungle rot. I had sickness. I had diarrhea, and I still thought I lost. But that's, I'm telling you that because I wasn't right in the head. No, no, like, I had something to prove. And it's not good, you know, looking back. So I 911 happen. You know, I had three years on the ATMs before 911 happened. And the global war, and I fought the rest of my whole career. You know, so 15 Years War have been around the world. You know, I'm very vague about my military just because I served in a very tier one level. Tier one is, you know, the top of you so you have SEAL Team Six, you have the unit and I was part of the Army, you know, top tier, and you know, they're in a war we travel around the world hunting down I'm somebody we're almost wanting them, you know, we would live in safe houses, I would work with the agency to find, fix, locate and kill every continent you can think of. I worked. And at the end of my time, so yeah, at the end of my time, you know, the anxiety started catching up with me the survival, you can't live in survival for so long, you know. And I was living survival and not just in our army, I was living in survival since a child. You know, I started losing my way, I would numb my emotions with painkillers. I found like in a fork of that drug, it takes me away from the realities of war loss, you know, everything. Also detail in my career, I was fighting to counter poaching wars in Cameroon, Africa. poachers who come in kill terrorists who pay poachers to come in and kill wildlife to fund their terrorist camps and no, kidnapped women and children, sell them into the human trafficking, just ship that I saw my whole career. You know, at that point, man, I was I was stuck in emotions. You know, I was living I wasn't present anymore. Anxieties all the time, barely holding a marriage together. You know, I'm a drug addict. So I retired at 23 years of service, 15 years of war and 27 countries. And I tell you, I retired as a decorated Greenbrae the man I had no purpose. You know, I had no purpose. And

Alex Ferrari 21:48
Let me let me ask you this man. Because, you know, I've talked on the show a lot. And if you've seen the show, you've know, I talked about the seven first seven years, the programming, that we get into our subconscious. And then the program doesn't stop at seven, it continues throughout. But that's the most potent time so in that first seven years, man, you got some help some subconscious programming, then add in all of the other stuff that you had to deal with for the next 23 years. And I, you know, I talked about reprogramming ourselves, you know, and dealing with our traumas and stuff like that, brother, man, how did you even be in to start to reprogram yourself to acknowledge that you even had a program for when you discovered you had a program that you were playing in the background? And then to begin to unravel this? Because that those are hard edged grooves? In the brain, man, how did you even be in to do that?

Tu Lam 22:47
So after my retirement, I was sitting around in a dark house washing TVs off, I would hear the noise of the world, like literally, I will hear the world over and over and you know, thoughts is tied to emotions, you know, and I was feeling it right. Solar Plexus. And man, you know, one day I heard a voice louder than any other voice. And you told me to get up when I did. I got up and I walked around my dark house. And I got this room called my war room. And it's, it's 27 countries of me living and running with rebels and capture flags from different countries and just back up stuff, you know, my war room. Along with that is collection of samurai books all around the world. And I have swords I have every every armor is somehow you know, I ended up there in front of ancient writings of a ronin, Musashi and Musashi. You know, at that point, I was looking for the answers everywhere else. Ever I went to 20 I went around the world looking for the answer. In the Satoshi said answers within everything. The Book of Five Rings right 13 I try to read it now. After Wars takes a whole different meaning. So you know, bushido, the word warrior, you know, it has virtues and encourages it's one of the primaries. So you know, I must not much courage I could I dumped painkillers, and I suffered suffer from my husband, vomiting, you know, stomach cramps, dude, anxieties through the roof because I didn't have anything to hold me back from that anymore. I've put a barrier in between 15 Years War, right. And and now that barrier is gone. I heard it. I heard it all. I felt it all.

Alex Ferrari 24:50
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Tu Lam 25:27
And I started getting into meditation. I would Google so Green Berets really smart at intelligence, right. So one of the things we have to do is we have to be really intelligent soldier. So you know, open source, research, closed source research. So I do a lot of research and meditation, keep on popping. I know that was the Eastern practice. And I want to explain this when, during my time into special forces, I've been around the world. And you know, the Green Berets. We don't live on a military base, we live with the people. So I'm in the villages with the people. And some of these villages has no electricity running. So very primitive. You know, in Malaysia, we're hunting down boars with spears, and torches. Like, that's how primal we're going. You know, and I want to explain this to you. There was certain practices that I saw that I never understood. Like in Africa, we would walk through village and village and, you know, I'm working with the Cameroon commandos. And they'll go to some of these primitive villages, and I'll link up with, you know, the Charmin and go off in their distance. I could hear screaming, and I know they're doing a ceremony. And I thought it was back down. I thought it was just witchcraft or whatever. But man, after I got an army, I started kind of never I started putting together these practices. Right? And I started meditating, and in mindfulness, so we're really aware of my thoughts. And I started journaling. And, you know, and I started picking up all this because I researched. I just did research online. I'm like, oh, that seems like it works. Right. And sometimes some things don't work. You know, I would say to, you know, I have a very powerful morning routine that I developed, I would get up at four o'clock in the morning. And the reason why is your brainwaves are slower, right? So meditation is trying to slow down your brainwaves, right to get into your subconscious. Well, now I get up at four o'clock in the morning, I'm not quite awake yet. And I go into meditation. You know, I cope lunch like amongst we do, you know, I have a cold plunge. 38 degrees, I'll go plunge, wake up the brain, boot up the brain. And then I'll go into my deep breathing technique, which very long at breathing, inhale, and exhale, I learned that in Indian Yogi's Indian man, I would run on the treadmill or run outside, I'll listen to podcasts with two doctors talking about neuroscience. That's how it started. And that led me to you write your podcasts, you know, in tech love, I got really hooked on your podcast because, you know, okay, so, um, war, you know, you see people die all the time, you know, you know, and the soul does leave. You know, like, the moment like, if I touch my teammate that just died. I could. I know, this was not there anymore. I could feel it. There's something you know, and that's the thing about warriors path is man you get, you get such more insights, and experience unlife Right. Right, so you see the depth of that and, and after I got out, man, like, I need to know where to soul goes after we die. Your your, your podcast, you know, like, I think what you're really great as you're putting together puzzles, you know, Eastern philosophy, Western philosophy and meditation, you know, energy, you know, like, wow, yes. Right. And that's what drew me to you. So a lot of self development during that time. And look, I failed at meditation. Three years. If you were like, wow, it took you that long. Yeah, I had a lot. Three years. And the reason why I say three years is man, I there was times I cried out of meditation, because it got worse. It was worse. I didn't know that. I was bringing it up. Right!

Alex Ferrari 29:51
You bringing it up dude, you're bringing it up.

Tu Lam 29:55
So I would I would do these deep breathing practices I would fail and in my mind was failing, right? But I'm very disciplined every day, I will sit there every single day, no matter if I feel like I'm failing. And it was one morning, I want to say about three years into one morning, I heard the birds. Birds always been there. But actually heard it. You know, I actually felt the temperature, you know, and why this is important because I was never that present. I'm always in my head. So then I realized that, you know, then I started meditating, I started meditating more, and then I got a hold of, you know, mushrooms. Right? Time to enhance the meditation. Right? So, you know, on the, you know, on special operations, a lot of guys get out and they go down that psychedelic route, you know, to heal. And I know, like, for me meditation, I really had a practice of meditation. So I knew like psychedelics was going to enhance that, you know, so first I prayed, and then I, I saved the area, you know, just did the whole ceremony, and then I ate the mushrooms. And then I tell you, like, I've never felt that. Love, right, never felt that. And well, what came out was forgiveness. I wrote it down in my notebook. Forgiveness, out of eight hours, right? I sat in this state of bliss. And what came out was forgiveness. So I forgave man, I, you know, I forgive the world for what I saw, I forgave, you know, all the shy experience, I forgave, and didn't work. Because I didn't forgive myself. That journey didn't start yet. So I was forgiven world was given the world. And I was, you know, I'm in the tactical industry. So we're very known in the industry, you know, the tactical industry is made up a lot of ex Special Operations, guys, big gun companies, big, tactical companies will hire guys like me to come in, give them advice, you know, for me on model guns, you know, whatever. And, you know, we were really, we were really successful. And we were really successful in our company. We entrepreneur company, I take my ideas. With my engineer team, we develop tactical gear now being utilized by our military. Very fast, Alex, like very fast in in that and then I got on History Channel. So when I say that very fast in fame, and wealth, very fast. Man, I wasn't living in it. I wasn't putting in any of it. You know, I was standing around for 1000s of people and talking and I wasn't living in it at all. I wasn't there.

Alex Ferrari 33:08
So to when you were when you were when this fame and fortune started to come into your life? Where were you in your meditation path? And have you already taken the mushrooms or not?

Tu Lam 33:18
I have.

Alex Ferrari 33:20
All right, so you so all of this was preparing you for these opportunities that came in which are intense. I've been around fame all my life, not that I'm famous. But I've been around it a lot. And I've seen it firsthand what happens. It ain't easy entertainment, one is all cracked up to be that I know. And fortune. It only amplifies what you got. So if you're good, it's gonna do a lot of good in your life. If you got stuff going on, it could destroy you. Is that kind of what you felt as well?

Tu Lam 33:52
Yeah, you know, I was just living anxieties. I wasn't living in the present in this like, I mean, all Everything was happening at once. Everything that I would say that I wanted in life as a child, man, it was unfolding in front of my face. And I felt like I wasn't worthy of any of it.

Alex Ferrari 34:14
So you, so you felt the worthiness was the thing that you hadn't you were not worthy. You were like this, I shouldn't be getting this. So you were dealing with that, while this was all going on. And still talking to 1000s of people.

Tu Lam 34:26
Yeah, and I'm proud of you know, the thing about you know, special operations guys were great at putting on a show. You know, I have to be I have to stand in front of a two star general and brief. You know, about some rebel forces, like I have to be able to turn it on and off and I can turn it on and off. I've been doing it for a long time. So in front of all the people I turn it on, you know, the star, the fame, whatever, you know, the the motivation, whatever whatever they want. I turn it on them but don't let it you know, there was a point where he got really bad. Where I want to go with this is, you know, your nervous system, you know, once it gets taxed, right, you're leaving in survival now, and you're not going to live like you're not going to win this game. I don't care how tough you think you are. I'm a commando. They've been through a lot of stuff. And I was hurting, you know. So then some of my navy friends in special operations, they started going down to Mexico to start doing, I begin, which is from the Boga roots from Africa with knowledge, the tree of knowledge, right? So as an MLA, from the tree of knowledge from Africa and then this is the most aggressive treatment in psychedelic that they offered to Mexico. Okay, so you do that and what it does it remaps your brain and, and then they hit you with five Meo DMT, which is the toad. Right? So very aggressive. You know, I went down to Mexico, hurting I sat with the medicine 15 hours of anxieties is what I felt in the medicine note, no visuals, nothing just anxieties. The worst pain I ever felt, you know, heartbroken anxieties, death, you name it. I didn't think it worked. You know, but it did, because that's, that's, you know, as well as I do. That's energy moving dude, right? I just didn't know, I didn't know, right? And it does remap your brains. So like, for me, I get a lot of negative talk. Like I always, like for me, I talk very negative to myself. And I never knew why. I would tell you why later, but at this portion of the journey, I didn't know why. Right? And, you know, man, it worked, you know, like it remap my brain. I felt one like I ran outside of conducted with earth again. You know, and then the anxiety started happening. And then they hit me five Meo DMT, which is that Toad venom. Now that that is one of the most poisonous venom, you know that Toad, right. So they pissed off at toe to toe shoots his venom into a glass they dry, they dry it, they flake it, and they put it into a crack pipe. You smoke it. What it does, man, I don't know. Have you ever have you done that's the

Alex Ferrari 37:39
I have I have never partaken. But I've spoken to many who have it's just some it is thing that my sister I don't drink. I don't smoke. I I've never I've never done any drugs. I tried alcohol. My body rejected it. Someone gave me a cigarette of five. Thank God. And I coughed up along. It was the 70s brother. That was like, Oh, you wanna smoke here? Give it a shot just to screw with me. I took a puff. I was out. I've never tried any of that stuff. Because it's something that it's not on my path. It's just something I don't need to do. I I get high on my own. On my own suppliers as they say.

Tu Lam 38:18
Oh, man, you have a beautiful soul man. Yeah, so yeah. So I knew like where I was what amount of trauma I was going through? Yeah, I need to doubt you know. So I would say like the father in the hill. Man, he put down my ego, my ego. Man, it was, it was, it was bad, you know. And I put him down. Like, it was gone. The ego left. He left for a week. So I was living life without the ego. So I saw how life is without ego. Man. It's so it's so freeing. And then, you know, one morning I was meditating and he came back in he came back very angry. And you know, and I want to say this to people from what I heard was that, you know, I tried to kill my ego. Literally, I tried to kill him. But when he came back, it was man, it was clear as day like, My ego is my best friend. And you know, in the eagle was forced when I was dying, as a three year old boy at sea. It was forged and to protect me in the villages and in the refugee camps where kids get murdered. Daddy goes there. SpecOps he goes there. And he told me all this. And you know, I didn't know how to live with it. I didn't know. So anyways, I continued to work on myself. So, you know, four o'clock in the morning runs and meditate Each and every single now I knew how to meditate, you know? And then I got to a certain point where it was the externals. Look, I forgave the world. It wasn't externals, it was me. So then I started deep diving within and then that's when the whole universe unfolded. So when I say the whole universe and photos manifest oh, god

Alex Ferrari 40:30
I understand.

Tu Lam 40:31
I found God. Like when I when I say that people were like, We know like, Dude, I never had it. Like I was left for Dad, I was in like, neglect as a child, like, I never felt that. And I found it in his within me and you and every everything. We're all one. Anyways, but then as it started happening, and you know, it got really bad where, you know, the voices was telling me to harm myself. So I went down to Mexico and I sat with some cactus. What you masculine teacher, right versus out of Wasco, which is the divine from the Amazons, but that's a feminine psychedelic. This one's a masculine psychedelic, so you literally can hear a man's voice is because when a psychedelic energy is the spirit, you know, it's a plant, it's the spirit, the energy and he teaches you. So at that point, man, like, you know, that's like a Dalit. What Chima and that's what the Native Americans use when, when their population has been wiped out, you know, generations of trauma. You believe me? When I say like, your, if your ancestors faced trauma, you're already born with that

Alex Ferrari 42:01
Ancestral trauma, ancestral karma and ancestral trauma that comes along with you. It's up to you to, to kind of deal with that. Yeah, yeah, I would not do it. I've had some clearings of some ancestral karma that you just bring along through your family. And some of its really easy like alcoholism, that easy meaning, but like you could see it easily. Alcoholism, abuse, those are very external stuff. But the internal stuff, the anger, frustrated, I mean, you could man I was I was watching an interview with Sly Stallone, yesterday, actually. And he was talking about the abuse that he got when he was a child. And then he's like, I can't blame my parents, because look where they came from. They were abusive. This was like, I'm not going to be happy. So you're not going to be happy. But then he broke, he broke that cycle with his kids. And he stopped it. It's very much and I know, you've seen this movie, the dragon, the Bruce Lee's story. It's very much like that. That's his generational karma. And generational trauma that followed Bruce Lee, and the whole Brandon Lee thing and everything but in the movie, he had to defeat that evil spirit or that evil thing to not hurt his kid. And that's in going down the the Chinese mythology, man again, it's all connected brother. It's all connected. You know, you go to India, you go to China, you go, you know, in South America, all of this stuff is connected. But as Yes, a long way to saying yes, I understand exactly what you mean by generational karma and generational trauma man,

Tu Lam 43:32
You know, like the Vietnamese Right? Like, you know, people look at the Vietnam War was only years war. No, it was a Indochina War. The French tried to colonize their their raping, killing, pillaging, like, at that point, like the war, like my mother was born in more so my grandfather escape the tyranny of Communist China like walked out of China, if he was caught, he would have been put in the labor camps for the rest, you know, until he dies. Those were the traumas that I was inherited with, like I was born with, along with my trauma of left for dead and everything else refugee camps and, and racism and all of it all of it. So why I want to say it is that's why I had all those negative thoughts. That's why I put myself down on a time and I never can live in it because I never felt like I deserved it. Because that's what the world gave me. That was my program. You know, so it's now time to change the program.

Alex Ferrari 44:37
I didn't mean to interrupt you, but I wanted to ask you this man, because this is something that I think will help a lot of people by you answering this. If you've listened to the show, you know about the soul blueprint, you know about the idea that we choose the life that we're going to walk into to teach us certain lessons as part of our karma as part of our Our lessons to learn to experience, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. If you have that, and I know you do have this understanding Did you ever have to kind of reconcile that with what you've gone through, because it's real easy to look at it from a very bird's eye view and go, Oh, it's just lessons, man, you just do an experience. That's really nice metaphysical, you know, woowoo kind of stuff. But when you're in a boat, left for dead, as a child born into war, it takes on a whole other level of realism. Because you can make talk that this is a simulation, that we're all playing, we're all avatars in a video game, like and we're all in the matrix, and we could do all that. But your your program, brother, your game, your the world that you walked down, ain't for everybody. So you if you believe that there is a soul blueprint, you chose this, why do you think? How did you reconcile? That is my question.

Tu Lam 46:01
You know, so because, you know, I sat with my soul, and I met my soul. And I tell you, like, the conversation I had with my soul was it was beautiful, because what a smart old soul he is. And, you know, also over a young soul, and also, man is willing to gamble, is willing to gamble big right? Do you think Alex, that was a coincidence that I was born out of oppression? And I was raised by the Special Forces to travel around the world to fight for the oppressed? Do you think like, that was luck, luck. Luck, that boat was, you know, like, we were saved when I was, like, I feel that the soul makes a contract. And we're here to evolve our consciousness to return home. Right? When I say return homes, go back to return to God, you know, and, and, you know, the old soul, they like to gamble. And you know, like, when I say that is, dude, I mean, look, like, I have to be oppressed, I had to face that, in order for me to look at a village boy that lost his family, to terrorists, and have compassion. You know, and willing to die for this village that I don't even know the fight for those people. Because, man, I was that. And God gave me that, like, gave me that experience. So I could be something more, you know, and when you say the soul card, I do believe in that. I totally believe in that in my life kind of shows it. Maybe really kind of dissect it.

Alex Ferrari 47:55
And it actually built you, you know, it did build you to who you are today. I mean, without look, I mean, I've gone through some trauma in my life, my own my own dark night of the soul. You know, you can't compare apples to apples with anybody's life, life journey. But, you know, without those hard times, without those moments in the fire, you wouldn't be hardened, or you wouldn't be tested in the way that you have been. And again, real easy to say it now that it's passed. And every once in a while when I got to deal with something, I'm like, Man, this guy learned something here, dammit. You know, but hopefully, I've gone through some, most of the heavy, the heavy stuff already, hopefully. But whatever does come down the path, it's there to teach us it's there to hone us. And even if it's the most horrible thing that ever happened, which a lot of that happened in yours. When you have a moment to look back, you go, Oh, yeah, without that I wouldn't be you know, you wouldn't have that book behind you. The way of the ronin like that, you know, if you if your mother would have not married a Special Forces guy. Who knows, you might have just been throwing some stars, some Chinese stars in the back yard, brother.

Tu Lam 49:12
I'll be a tough guy playing ninja at night

Alex Ferrari 49:15
Watching American Ninja 4 annihilation, you know in Bloodsport, and that would have been the end of it, you know, but the path was laid out so beautifully. Or it's been laid out so beautifully and horrifically at the same time. You know, cuz, you know, and I've talked about my, you know, I came I'm not even gonna compare it. But you know, when I almost made me when I got involved with the mob, back in the day, making a movie, and I was traumatized for a year of having my life threatened on a daily basis from a psychopath, you know, that gave me the empathy to do what I'm doing today, and I didn't see it for 20 odd years. Just like you hadn't seen you didn't see a lot of the trauma you like a lot of the blessings, I guess, in your bath until you went through all of this work. Is that fair to say?

Tu Lam 50:07
Oh, gosh, you know, I always I went, you know, now I'm a public speaker, right? So I get asked to public speak a lot. And you know, I went to a high school. And you know, high school is like, the worst time in my whole life. Right. And, man, I just spoke my pain. I spoke it, and it helps so many kids. You know, like the man he came running up to me, I'm called duty guy, so they're already a fan. But dude, like to have that impact to take your pain and turn it into something more. Like you're transmuting that energy, right? And that's how you heal. Like, you can't get rid of energy, but you can transmute in energy. And that goes to the old teachings of kung fu. You know?

Alex Ferrari 50:55
Let me ask you. You mentioned the 47 Ronin I think that's such a beautiful story. And not just a Keanu Keanu Reeves movie. But such a such an amazing story. Can you tell the audience a little bit about it because it is a very famous story. And even if you vaguely heard about mythology or stories of the Samurai, the 47 Ronin is one of those stories that you hear besides the Seven Samurai, obviously, from Kurosawa, but my favorite movies of all time, bro, come on, you don't watch that is amazing.

Tu Lam 51:32
So you know, I want to put you in, in history. So you know, over 250 years of civil war Takigawa yet to was a Shogun so a bunch of Daniel's fought for land Takigawa was able to, you know, became the Shogun, which is the military ruler next to the Emperor. So at this point, it was a moment of peace. So these were the 47 ronin were peacetime samurais they never tasted war. Okay, now this, this is why it's so important with the scene. So it happened almost like 100 years, you know, after war, stating peers they forgot what it means to be a warrior samurai Bushido Code. And then Takigawa was the Shogun Okay, so the whole store in 47 they had an etiquette instructor and they had these dine meals. So Domino's were powerful warlords that owned their army of samurais. So this daimyo owned 47 samurais Okay, and he had to attend an etiquette class by Kiera cura which was a very he was very stuck up kind of guy arrogant, but he had to teach this dine yo manners. And this daimyo he was they said that the 47 Ronin daimyo they say he was kind of a country boy. Right? So he didn't have quite the etiquettes and he was trying to learn. And then finally Kira made fun of them, called him a pig. Right and pissed off the samurai. So he drew his sword on the council, which is a total no go. And before that night they told him to hit submit. So Baku which is you know to get his belly in to retain his honor. And you know, for the viewers. If you lose your honor your family lineage, lose that land, they lose gratuities, they lose everything. So it behooves you to grip your belly to save your honor. Right. So the samurais were so loyal under the Bushido code that if a daimyo takes his life, that the samurais do the same to follow them on to death to protect them. But Tokugawa Yes, he didn't let him so he gave him the most dishonorable status that was just thrown in. Ronin masterless right wonder, so they can't even hold a job these guys because they're the samurai class. They're unemployed. And they're, they just wander the world right wander, and the Akira was afraid of his revenge. So he sent out spies to spy on 47 Ronan's was actually 46 and they reported back to these the samurais these Ronan's lost their way or womanizing or drinking or bombs out in the street. You know, they're nobody don't worry about them was actually all a it was all over again. And yeah, because they are actually conducting reconnaissance. I had to study this in the Special Forces. I actually write a thesis on it, where they had to under the cover of, you know, being a merchant, a farmer, whatever. A peasant they were getting intelligence off the walls. The guard This shift in the amount of samurais that they had to tab where hero was actually at. So after a year of gathering intelligence they came back for one night did a plan execute one of the most successful assaults in in history, you know, literally kill kill Kira cut off head off, washed it, walked back to his Domino's attune laid ahead on the tune of their daimyo in honor for their daimyo. And then Takigawa, yet Sue caught word of it. And he sat on it for a month, because he didn't know what to do. Because the samurais did what they had. They did what the Bushido Code said. Right? So the so the lesson of the story is, nobody can take your honor. But you nobody. So Dan, he granted the 46 Samurais, the 47, one kept alive, the son was kept alive to tell the story. And in the spring, when the soccer was blooming, the 46 Ronin split their gut, to join or diamond. And you know that man That to me is just that's warrior, you know, it's very lawyer.

Alex Ferrari 56:21
That's it's a, it's a pretty remarkable story. To say the least, brother with you, and you are, you know, you, you've said that you've found God, you found source, you found an understanding of clearing. I've spoken to a lot of people who've taken psychedelics, and I spoke to a yogi once and I asked, I asked, this is such a beautiful, I like the way he says it. I don't know if you'll agree, but this is what the yogi said to me. I go, What do you think of psychedelics? And he goes, Well, psychedelics are, it's basically, you're kicking down a wall and making a hole in the wall, to get to where you're going, while meditation is building a door and walking through it. So I thought that was an interesting analogy, like, it's because it's a very rough journey. You know, meditation, slower, longer, you might be able to get to the same place, but it might take years, where psychedelics may you're gonna rock it through that door, and it ain't gonna be fun. And it's gonna be a wild ass ride. I think that's what he was saying. Would you agree with that analogy?

Tu Lam 57:33
Yeah, I would, you know, in Easter Rome Alex, like, you know, for me, a guy like, you know, I freefall in countries under Niveda kill bad guys, right? Like, my threshold is a little higher, you know, what I can learn? Right? So, but each their own, you know, like, man, you know, some Navy friends don't do any of it. All they do is just read the Bible, and they do Bible study, and theater getting better, too. So I know, like, everybody has their own journey. You know? For me, psychedelics, it was a rocket ship. So I can I can cruise around his old little Toyota Dragon, or I can hit a Lamborghini and get there. And, you know, tell you truth. I have some catching up to do. Right. So, you know, I started my spiritual journey kind of late. So I have a lot of catching up to do.

Alex Ferrari 58:32
No, and you're absolutely right. And that's why I kind of talked to everybody about every walk of life of philosophies and religions and, and spirituality from everywhere, because it's not it's not a one size fits all. You know, the Dalai Lama, the Dalai Lama said something so beautiful. When they asked him he's like, he was somebody who's getting who was going to become a Tibetan, Buddhist, and follow him. And he's like, No, I'm gonna renounce my, my, my Judaism, and I'm gonna go straight into that. He goes, No, no, no. Don't upset grandma. You have to take grandma's beliefs with you. You don't want to upset grandma. There's beauty there. Just because it works for me, doesn't mean it'll work for you. So you can bring that with you into this journey. But don't get angry at it or reject it. Because there's beauty even in that, that you now you repel against because you don't want it anymore because there's something new. It's all all everyone has a walk of life, man. You know, everybody and I always tell people, you know, when people get really uppity about their religious beliefs, sometimes I'll go listen, if you were have been born in China, you might have been a Buddhist or Confucius or Taoist. If you were born in Africa, you would have been following some other spiritual journey. If you were born in Australia is I mean, come on. There are all sorts of different paths, man. So just because that was the one that was programmed into you when you were zero to seven doesn't mean it's the one that you're going to finish with at the last 07 or seven to zero as they say,

Tu Lam 1:00:06
Yeah, you know, you know, the psychedelic journey, I have healed my childhood. When I'm when I say I have met my childhood, I felt that emotion go through I have cried like I was seven years old. And I have solved past traumas, past lifetimes. You know, when you release a trauma from a past lifetime, you get a visual of when you saw that, and I'll tell you a lot of was war. And it was ancient Asian wars, like deal wars, you know, I mean, those are the images I saw. You know, and, and I know like, for me, I always been the warrior. You know, and I, in my journey is each each person has their own breed. Right? And a warrior. Shukria is a warrior class. And I asked the Charmin one time, I said, was I anything else? Besides this warrior? He is. And he said to me, he said, I don't think you understand you're like, it's like a breed of dog, you know, like a German Shepherd, pit bull, your lawyer. And that's your karma. That's your dharma. within this universe, you know, you have to protect the Dharma and in the field, where your class and what is the warrior class? Like, what is it? You know, like, for me, I battle with this because to me, where is okay, I go and I take out bad people. That's not what it's about. Not anymore to me, you know, to me. One, okay. One sword keeps the other one in his sheaf. Warrior, right. As a warrior, I start violence with violence. One lawyer, one sword keeps the other sword in his sheath. So in this world of violence, who protects the innocent, who would fight for the innocent, you know, and it takes a special breed I feel and dharma like what is your what is your universal law in this? This life, your soul, you know? You know, those are the things I kind of came to conclude, you know, in me, my spirituality, in my journey as a human being is that you know, I have responsibilities in this life. Just like I have a responsibility to military to do what I did. At this phase of my life. I have a responsibility to help man to help others heal. You know, if I've been through all this crap, right and, and, you know, like, my zero was seven was shit. Right? And my childhood was shit and my, my whole military career, which is war and violence. And if I found God at that late in the game, and here's how I did it. You can all do it. We can all all reprogram ourselves.

Alex Ferrari 1:03:29
Amen, brother. Amen. I want to clarify something when you say you found God, what God are we speaking of? Is this the universal god? Is this a religious God? You know, is it the one with the white beard in the in the in the sky? Or is it universal love? i That's important because when people say the word God, it's a loaded word. Now unfortunately, it's it's such a loaded word. So I'd love for you to clarify that for people

Tu Lam 1:03:56
You know, when I say dog as a universal name, so I say God, but to me it can be it's everything God is underlying intelligence in all things that governs all things. God is everything and God is intelligent. And God is here within me and you and plants and every creation that has got God is everything. And you know God is not this bearded guy to me, okay, and everybody has their own beliefs. But for me my God is not God punished this my God my God has gotten me through life and helped me and my god yeah, I've been through a lot of crap but I needed to go through that to be who I need to be in this lifetime for fulfill my contract for my soul whenever my soul decided to want to do in this lifetime All right, man, let's do it. You know and this space my life that's that's spirituality is my God. You You know, God's found within me. So look Easter own, you know, like, I used to go to church. You know, and I believe in community, I believe in that. But God can be man. I worship God all the time. And I talked to God, I don't need to be at a place around a bunch of people I don't know, beginning to listen to somebody that you know, I don't even know. So that to me, if I answer your question, God is everything and God is intelligent. And he Kishi whatever governs, governs everything.

Alex Ferrari 1:05:37
You know, there's, there's a lot of stigma out there for people. For the military, for people who are vets, people have seen war. And a lot of people and I've known I've known a lot of soldiers, and known a lot of, you know, Green Berets and seals and spoken to them, about their traumas and about what they did. And they the, at least the ones I've spoken to, are very similar to you. They wanted to help they wanted to protect, that was their goal. What is the and one of the other reasons we wanted to bring you on the show, is because you know, we have psychics, we have channelers, we have near death experiencers. We rarely I don't think I've ever had on this show someone in the military who has gone through the path that you've gone through. And I wanted to bring you on to show people a different side of the military, because there is look like in any organizations is good and bad, always. But I wanted to show them not only a path of redemption of what you've gone through, but also a path of spirituality, from someone who's gone through what you've gone through. So what are some of the biggest misconceptions people have about that people in the military that did the work that you did, and they're doing it right now in the world?

Tu Lam 1:06:57
And are some of the most intelligent people I've ever met? Seriously, is in the military, you know, very intelligent people very go getting, you know, but the thing about the military is, man, if you're in war, and you're around that, look, that's energy. Right, and energy gets attached to you. And, and I believe in that now, right back then I didn't believe in it, but energy gets attached to you, and you go to some of the worst places in the world. In the world, you know, like Bosnia, and Sarajevo, the massacred hundreds and 1000s of people. Because they're just a different religion. Right. So, you know, for me, that's, the military sees all of that, you know, and I don't you know, the thing about the military's when they get out, we don't have like, a direction because we rely on the medical system that were given in the military. And I tell you, Alex, they, they shove freakin pills down your throat. You know, I was part of, like, I dumped it all, you know, and I have to suffer from that. But that's the practice is getting better. We don't have counselors. You know, like on a special Spec Ops team, you think I can tell you like, I'm, I'm going through PTSD? You know, facing some? No, you are a national asset. Yeah. You know, so, when I sit when, when you when you say what I want to say to people about the military is have compassion for them. They've been through a lot. They don't even know they're there. They're in pain. They don't, they don't even know they're asleep. You know, and if we can help them, why not?

Alex Ferrari 1:08:59
You mentioned something that energy sticks with you. You know, I'm a fairly empathetic guy. So I feel energy all the time. I feel it when I meet people, I feel it in crowds. I feel it in public places. You seem to be a very empathetic person. I'm not sure if that's this version of you. But you naturally I can sense that you have empathy in you. You have to have had empathy in you to do the work you did. I have to I have to believe that. So I sense that in you. How did you protect yourself energetically even when you didn't know man? What was going on back then? Because the carry that energy of war with you and not not a year not a tour five freight and 15 years of special ops to him and how did you just deal with energy is that what you brought back and you had to have been cleansing it all these years? Through Iosco and through and through meditation and through all that, where is that all that energy that you had to clear off?

Tu Lam 1:09:58
Remember, I was I was living at drama, right as a child, right? So, drama. So this fed on to who I was, when I say who I was, was that energy that I attached to me at three years old, I was dying, like that racism and people spitting on me and, you know, like, what the world gave me I gave back. It was just very precision. You know, because of the war. And and special operation it was it was utilized as a weapon. Lao Tzu in the Dallas Zhang, he talked about it where a government utilizes men, right to go to fight wars for politicians, right? And, and you see that, you know, you see, it played out like a lot of team guys, we have a lot of trauma. That's why we're like, trying to prove ourselves, right? Try to be tough guys. You know, and, and look, some of these guys Mandor. There, they're badass lawyers, but their whole life besides work. And that's where I was, you know, like, I was good at that one thing. In my life was my marriage, everything. And I had to come to that realization at the end, where do you want to be this? Because I could have I could continue down that road, they train an agency, right? We work with the agency in the embassy, so it's naturally for us to progress into debt. That would have been a continuation of what? Quick, I'm going to fight wars all my whole life. And that's, that would that was my route, you know, into it. Too, I felt anxieties. I think, like, when we feel anxieties inside of us, when a nervous system gets taxed. Man, I think that's God's calling us back home. You know, there's a point where God calls you back to him. And if if the pain is that much you get to decisions. Right, you can go down this road of suicide and drugs and women eyes and whatever, or you can go down the path of God. Right. And, and it was because of my pain in my anxieties and depression is what led me to this. And I needed to feel that in order to be who I am today to stand in front of 1000s of people to talk my pain. Right? So so they so they can have words of encouragement that they can go, wow, this guy has been through it. And he didn't start his spirit journey and like that old and look how far he got in this amount of trauma I faced. Okay, well, there's some kids that got abused, right, neglected, they can take my word. And that can give them strength right

Alex Ferrari 1:13:02
Absolutely. Well, absolutely. I'm going to ask you a few questions I ask all my guests.

Tu Lam 1:13:08
Oh oh!

Alex Ferrari 1:13:09
Oh, you know, they're comin. What is what is your definition of living a fulfilled life?

Tu Lam 1:13:15
Man, living a fulfilled life is living by heart purpose, right to be present, to be giving. Right giving, and be present, and live a life of purpose. That's a fulfilling life to me.

Alex Ferrari 1:13:17
If you had a chance to get into a DeLorean and go back in time. What advice would you give a little Tu?

Tu Lam 1:13:36
I gave advice a little Tu before you know when when, when one of my loved ones called me an idiot when I was seven years old. And that really hurt me that academically hurt me and to later on when I went to college and graduate of honors, but it really hurt me at that age when somebody call you that degrading name. And I went back to him at that that age. And I told my myself that man look at us. Look at us now. You know, we did it. We we went back. We fought for the people that we came from. Yeah, we had hard times. But we grew and look at us now and I love you.

Alex Ferrari 1:14:23
Beautiful brother beautiful. How do you, what is love?

Tu Lam 1:14:27
Ohh man love is truth. That's that's the only truth in the universe. Love God. The Creator made everything out of love. And there's no other vibration but that we we focus on the lower vibration. That's the highest frequency in the universe that created all things.

Alex Ferrari 1:14:48
What does World Peace look like to you man?

Tu Lam 1:14:51
I pray for world peace. You know, all these wars is going on right now. A lot. A lot going on. Now. Don't we need to go through the darkness like the lotus flower doesn't need to grow through the darkness to find the light did not have to go through to find a light. Now this this world, in all the wars is we need to raise our level of consciousness universally together. You know not just you and me. Right? The world and you're doing it right with your show. We're doing it. We're doing it you are you are doing it. And, and we're doing it today. Right so we're raising our level of consciousness. I think that's what we're here to do. Right? In the world.

Alex Ferrari 1:15:46
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And what is the ultimate purpose of life?

Tu Lam 1:15:51
To learn. To learn. Like we're here on Earth, you know? We're on I feel how boring What are so be like harsil will be so bored. We come here and it's just love. There's love and afterlife, right? Like don't we want to play some novels? Like don't we want to want to kick in some doors and shoot some stuff. Like be some bad guys are right don't we want to live action? And I feel like Earth is that it's a battlefield is a battlefield for us to come here and learn whatever lesson whatever lesson your souls here to learn. I feel my lesson because everything is war. My lesson was love in this lifetime love for myself. Love for others. After seeing all all the shit, you know,

Alex Ferrari 1:16:47
That's so beautiful bro. And literally you, you you talk about Earth as kind of like a battlefield and a video game in many ways. It's kind of like a giant situation we've talked about that. You have and you have literally turned into a video game character and Call of Duty so that you've come full circle brother.

Tu Lam 1:17:11
I want to share this with you Alex. You know, I was talking to my friend. He goes dude you know your Ronin. Like, Call of Duty. What's that feel like? I say, you know really, this is what it feels like. And nine years old I found a Bushido Code and I wanted to be a ninja right. And and to to GI Joe characters that I love with Storm Shadow snake guys. Like that was my guys

Alex Ferrari 1:17:36
Absolutely Snake Eyes, dude.

Tu Lam 1:17:40
And I said, and I said and somehow I became this ninja on Call of Duty. So I'm in a modern day GI Joe. What's that mean? What's that mean? It gives me a platform to speak values to our youth. That's what it means. Like Bruce Lee, like, you know, he was a martial artist. But he thought he brought in ballers and he talked about Confucius and stuff. And he's this movie star that was his platform to speak value to the world. Right? So in being a Bruce Lee fan, right? I grew up to Bruce Lee, he was my role model. Why not? You know, I have the same why not? Why not talk about God, why not talk about being a better human in the path? Right of a warrior. So, you know, that's, that's what I really I find fulfilling about the video game. It's fun, you know, being on a motion capture studio and killing people with scores denied and all that and it's fun acting. But in the end, you say what, what is the most fulfilling thing about is man, I get to speak values to our youth. You know?

Alex Ferrari 1:18:54
Beautiful man. And where can people find out more about you get your book and find out what you're doing in the world, man?

Tu Lam 1:19:03
So please pre order my book, The way of Ronin, it comes out May 21. It talks about everything we talked about, you know, very in depth about a lot of my traumas and how I healed myself but also like purpose, and how I found spirituality and in that so it's called a way around and I want to break it down. You know, Bushido was the first written about Bushido was in the book, Huck Akira. And that was 100 years at the war stating periods Japan because they're trying to reflect on what it means to be a wartime samurai. These are peace types MRIs during war stating periods it was simply known as the way right and if you look at any religion when you align yourself a dog, that's the way so the way ties into Bushido and the warrior path and Ronin you know, I call myself Ronin after I got out because That was the most dishonorable thing I can think of, because I always samurai in my eyes, you know, I served, you know, the most powerful diamond in the world. Our president, you know, I served 23 years, the most powerful person in the world, you know, and most powerful military force, a Samurai is in service of. So when I got out, I was lost in life, and I hated myself. So I picked the worst thing I can find was Ronan. And somehow, he became a video game character. Ronin to me, it was my strength to walk alone. You know, it was my strength walk alone. And, you know, when I walked away from everybody, I heard the most important voice, which is my voice. You know, I wasn't influenced by hate anymore, you know. So, because I seek the path of peace. That's all I see. So that's to me is, that's why I named my book the way a ronin, you can find me on social media, I'm on Facebook running tactics. I'm on YouTube running tactics, and Instagram, Ronin Tactics. You can find us on our website, www.ronintactics.com.

Alex Ferrari 1:21:25
Tu and I gotta ask you one more question, brother. You know, I asked this question a lot from near death experiences and channelers. And things. You know, you've been one way, for so long in your life as a warrior as this and you, all your friends, your colleagues, you've seen this, you've seen the stuff, you've been in the mud, you've been in hell and back. Now you've come out, and you're talking about the way of brown and your story of trauma. But more importantly, you're also talking about spirituality, spirituality, and the military or the warrior. Most of the time, and please correct me I know, when you get into the deeper levels, they actually are extremely together very much like the Jedi er, you know, that's, you know, it's very much like the Jediish, you know, the warrior is the warrior monk. It they're both very much so. But a lot of your colleagues, I imagine are not as on the spiritual path as you are. How was it when you came out of the closet? Brother, when you came out of the spiritual closet, and started talking publicly about this kind of stuff? How did you deal with the people around you? Or were they just completely open? And said, man, good for you? Or did you lose friends? I always love finding that out. Because I've had to deal with that myself. So I'm curious how you had to deal with it.

Tu Lam 1:22:47
I walked away from everything. Friendship, Team things, everything I walked away. For years, I would say three years or cocoon myself. And I went inside. You know, I didn't want to hear any of my teammates. I don't want to hear anything, you'd have to say about God, religion, spirituality, I have to hear it myself. So when I got out, I stepped away from all I, I only have one teammate that I even keep in contact with me now because he's on the same journey as me. And unless you're on the same journey as me, I'll pray for you. You know, it won't separate journeys, I'll pray for you. You know, I hope you find the top of the mountain. Because like massages, there's for one route to the top and mountain to top and round as seven you know, so I had to step away.

Alex Ferrari 1:23:44
Tu it has been an honor and a pleasure talking to you, man and I, I appreciate your bravery, in in, in speaking your truth, and in your empathy to help the world because many people like you who've walked your path, they just shut themselves off, like you said, and you decided to fight through that and find the path that you're on and I I honor you for it. And I appreciate you for not only that, but for everything you've gone through to get to this point, my friend so I appreciate you and everything you're doing to awaken this planet, man. So thank you!

Tu Lam 1:24:16
I just want to say thank you Alex, like you are, man, you know, I want to tell your fans as you were one of the instrumental portions to help me you know, through my spiritual journey, you know, what I say is you know, you bring in eastern philosophy you bring in Western philosophy you bring in the energetic field, you bring a lot of a lot of things to dissect, you know, dissect and you really helped me man, so I want to thank you when I found out that was gonna be your show I man, I was so happy, you know, so happy.

Alex Ferrari 1:24:51
Tu brother. Appreciate you my friend. Thank you again.

Tu Lam 1:24:54
Arigato gozaimasu!

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