Young Girl Gets STUCK in FREEZER & DIES; JESUS Gives Her MAGICAL TOUR of HEAVEN in NDE! with Susan Grau

On today’s episode, we welcome Susan Grau, a remarkable medium whose journey into the unseen realms began early in life. Her childhood was marked by a near-death experience that forever altered her perception of reality. Susan shares her story with vulnerability and wisdom, offering us a glimpse into what it means to live with one foot in both the physical and spiritual worlds.

Susan recalls her first brush with death, an experience that came unexpectedly during a childhood game. Locked in an unplugged freezer by older boys, she describes the terror that filled her small body, and the angelic lights that appeared before her, telling her to stop screaming. It was during this profound moment that she felt herself pulled away from her body and into a world of light and knowledge. The experience was one of total clarity and peace, even as a child who didn’t fully understand death. She remembers standing before what she calls “The Well of Knowledge,” a place where prayers and desires of others flowed like a river, vibrating with life.

After this near-death experience, Susan’s connection to the spirit world intensified. She began to see spirits everywhere—under her bed, in the hallways, and peering through her windows. Though her mother warned her to keep quiet about these visions, fearing institutionalization, the presence of spirits became a daily reality for Susan. She later learned that her gift of mediumship ran through her family, yet it was burdened with fear, shame, and misunderstanding.

Throughout her life, Susan grappled with this gift. She felt out of place, at times misunderstood, and even bullied. It wasn’t until adulthood, after years of secrecy, that she began to embrace her abilities openly. As a grief and addiction specialist, she started integrating her mediumship with her professional work, offering healing on both emotional and spiritual levels. “I was meant to use my experiences to help others,” Susan reflects, acknowledging that the pain and trauma in her life prepared her to support others through their darkest moments.

SPIRITUAL TAKEAWAYS

  1. You are the light. Susan emphasizes that we are not separate from the light but embody it. As she explains, “When you cross over, you don’t seek the light—you are the light.” This understanding is essential in removing fear of death and the unknown.
  2. What you try to control, controls you. During her near-death experience, Susan learned that attempting to force outcomes in life often leads to suffering. Instead, we must learn to walk the path that unfolds before us with trust and openness.
  3. Pain and joy are equal teachers. Susan’s journey is a reminder that both joy and suffering contribute to our growth. In her words, “Pain teaches me the most because it is the experience that I want to escape the quickest.”

Her spiritual insights resonate deeply with the human experience. From her near-death encounter to her later years working as a medium, Susan’s life is a testament to the healing power of self-acceptance. She speaks to the importance of releasing fear and letting go of control—two lessons she learned early on from the angels who told her that humans don’t listen enough to their inner guidance.

In closing, this conversation reveals how the challenges we face in life are not punishments, but preparations for deeper understanding and healing. Through Susan’s story, we are reminded that love, trust, and surrender are the keys to navigating life’s twists and turns.

Please enjoy my conversation with Susan Grau.

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Follow Along with the Transcript – Episode 513

Susan Grau 0:00
So I was playing for with some boys that were older than me, and yeah, and they opened up the garage, and we weren't allowed in the garage, and there was a freezer in the garage. It wasn't plugged in. But I didn't know that. I was four and a half. I was almost five, but I didn't even recognize, oh, it's not plugged in. And they said, if you want to keep playing, you got to get up and get his popsicles. So if I go into the freezer, facing inward, and they close the freezer door, and at first I thought, Oh, this is a game. This is part of the game. We're playing a game. And then I heard the garage door thud, and I realized I'm in trouble. And it was really interesting, because you innately have this knowing that you're going to die, but I didn't know what death meant, really, except for, you know, animals on the land, but I didn't understand totally. I just knew you went away.

Alex Ferrari 0:50
I'd like to welcome to this show Susan Grau how you doing Susan?

Susan Grau 1:03
I'm doing great. Thanks for having me.

Alex Ferrari 1:05
Thank you so much for coming on the show. I'm looking forward to hearing about your your interesting journey up to this point in what you've been doing. But before we get started, I always like to ask this question, what was your life like before this insanity of being a medium and going into the into the Woo, woo, you know, woo, woo, kind of woo, woo world. But you know, this kind of New Age ideas, because I have, like, I always tell people, This is not an easy path. Even today, it's not an easy path to walk, and especially the kind of path that you walk, coming from, you know, trying to make it more legitimate. And, you know, I don't see a crystal ball anywhere in your office,

Susan Grau 1:49
No, but I will tell you, got to just glance over here. Everything's woo.

Alex Ferrari 1:53
Exactly. Well, that's fine. That's just a choice at this point, it's just a choice. But what was your life like before your psychic abilities kind of came in and all this insanity?

Susan Grau 2:02
I honestly don't know. I was born with the ability to see animals. When they would pass, I'd see them floating, and I can remember that at three and a half years old, and I had a near death experience at four and a half. I was locked in an unplugged freezer in a garage, and when I came back from bad experience, I could see people, and they were everywhere. I thought they were the Boogeyman. I used to put the pillows and blankets over my head and say, Go away, go away. And they weren't the Boogeyman. But my mom had this gift, my sister, my brother, so it was very common in my home, yeah. So I don't know who I would have been without my near death experience, I really don't, but I would imagine that I would have been able to see things. I don't think I would have pursued grief as my career, because I'm a grief and addiction specialist. I don't think I would have gone that direction. So I think I probably would have stayed in music or something else. So I think that, you know, with it coming in, I was very shy of telling people. I would tell select friends when I was young, and that would be it. And but I couldn't stop the influx of Spirit coming in. It was continuous, and I didn't know how to control it. I didn't know what to do about it. Got married, didn't tell my husband, you know? And then I'd wake him up and go, I can go to sleep now, and he'd go, Okay, go to sleep. It was after a visitation where I wasn't sleeping, and I just be laying there knowing they're there and and so everything was kind of secretive. But my mother was actually put in an institution for about a month because, a couple weeks to a month because of it. And so she was like, never talk about it, never, of course, but it was part of my, my it was part of me. It wasn't outside of me. It was an extension or part of me. And so I didn't know how not to so I don't know who I would have been

Alex Ferrari 3:58
Well, so So there's a few things I want to unpack there. So one, what happened to your mother is obviously something that I've heard many times before, because at in her generation's time, they weren't burned at the stake. They were then just committed because they thought they were going crazy. You know, maybe grandma or great grandma would have been burned at the stake at that at that point at the game. So I see that, and you were lucky, because you at least had a support system in it. So because I've had a lot of psychics and mediums and and channelers who come on and their parents, their parents, their family, have no idea they're like, they're the weirdo, they're all that kind of stuff. So at least you had that. But I want to dive into your near death experience a little bit. What happened? Exactly, what So, what led to that near death experience, and what happened when you crossed over to the other side?

Susan Grau 4:47
Oh, wow, um, so I was playing for with some boys that were older than me, and, yeah, and they opened up the garage, and we weren't allowed in the garage, and there was a free. Freezer in the garage. It wasn't plugged in, but I didn't know that I was four and a half. I was almost five, but I didn't even recognize, oh, it's not plugged in. And they said, if you want to keep playing, you got to get up and get us popsicles. So if I go into the freezer facing inward, and they close the freezer door, and at first I thought, Oh, this is a game that the garage was separated from our house by a distance for a little child, and there was like a fence between us and a tool room. I mean, it was quite a distance. And I remember just thinking, I'm in on the game. This is part of the game. We're playing the game. And then I heard the garage door thud, and I realized I'm in trouble. And it was really interesting, because you innately have this knowing that you're going to die. But I didn't know what death meant, really, except for, you know, animals on the land. But I didn't understand totally. I just knew you went away. That's what I knew. And I started screaming at the top of my lungs, I was like a trapped animal, and I can remember that high pitched sound of terror, and my mother likened to hearing the cats in heat have a very high pitched sound when they're mating. My mother likened it to that, and she said, That's the sound of terror. And just even saying it, I can feel it, you know, this experience, and it was terrifying. I was horrified. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't turn around, I, you know, because the shelves had kind of locked me, and I was a skinny little thing, but I couldn't turn around. And I remember screaming at the top of my lungs. I remember seeing three amazingly beautiful lights that just kind of came in front of me because it was pitch black, and it was like, I felt like I was in a coffin, but I didn't know exactly what that meant. I just had seen one, but I didn't know what it meant. And they said, Stop screaming. And I kept screaming. I thought, I'm not stuck. I didn't know who they were, but, you know, I know they come as we understand them. And so I all of a sudden, and I understood angels, and I felt this powerful angelic source stop in the movement, and almost felt like it looked at me, but it was a light, and it said, Stop screaming, Susie. We're going to get your mommy. And then it felt like it was but first, you know, they didn't say it, but that's what it felt like. And I felt myself being pulled. It felt like forces that were pulling me, but I wasn't. I didn't look back and see my body. I didn't go through a tunnel. I just felt this force pulling me, and I ended up at the bottom of a set of stairs, and I was looking at a what I know now I'm going to explain it in adult terms, because I didn't, I didn't know how to explain it. Then I was looking at a Greco Roman room, and it was open, and it had pillars that were cracked and old, and it had an open ceiling. And then I knew innately that I needed to get up to the top of these stairs, because in the center of that room was going to be what I called a well, I don't know why I felt compelled, but I needed to be there. And the moment I thought it, I was there at the edge of this well. I always called it a well, and I studied for my doctorate under Dr Raymond Moody. And he said to me, Susan, did you ever think that the well might have been your tunnel? Because I said to him, Raymond, I never saw a tunnel. And I that was, like the aha moment for me. And that wasn't that long ago. It was maybe, I don't know, 8 10, years ago. That was my first like, what, you know, I looked at him like, are, are you kidding me? Right now, I never thought it, because it was just what I saw. And I looked down into this beautiful well, and I could see movement. Now looking back, it looked like one consciousness of DNA, and it was words, and it was moving like twirling, like DNA, and I could hear prayers, and people were saying things like, and my mom, my mom is going to die. Please, God, help her. Don't let her die. She has cancer. Don't let her die. And I heard, I'm going to turn 16, and I want a car. God, please tell my dad to get me a car. I mean, I was hearing all of these amazing prayers, and they were all going into one well of consciousness. And I looked over at the lights, and I asked them, Where am I? And they said, you're in the room of knowledge. I don't think I understood it then, but now I have to say that, even when I say it, it's overwhelming to me, and now I'm going to start sniffling and i i. I said, do you answer all those because I knew they were prayers. I knew what a prayer was. You know, I grew up my first five years Catholic, and so I knew what a prayer was. And they said, No, Susie, sometimes what people desire the most isn't good for them. And I didn't like hearing it. I wanted. My mom used to say, just because you want it doesn't mean it's good for you. Now, go to your room, you know. And so I was waiting for the rest of that. I was waiting, you know. And I thought, I don't know if I like this, you know, feeling like what they just said to me, but I felt so alive. Everything in the room pulsed, and I'll explain that as I go. It was like breathing everything. And then I they kind of like glanced to another area, and I looked, and I saw this path, and it looked like the yellow brick road I'd seen the Wizard of Oz. So I remember this so clearly, like everyone can remember seeing the Wizard of Oz. You know, you remember the lollipop kids, you remember all of it, right? You remember the ruby slippers and the witch and that's how it was for me, because it was so alive. And I think for children, they make it very even brighter. So it's the color stating Yes, yes. And I remember seeing this path, and on the front of the path were these pyramids. And I could see that it was pavers, look like golden pavers. And I, and I can only describe now as an adult, I think I thought then that it was just blocks. It was just like building blocks. And I I saw people pulling from the bottom of these pyramids, people, and they were paving their path, and it was really crooked and out of shape, and it was all over the place. And I they dropped to their knees, and I innately knew that those pyramids were their life journey. And when you pull from the bottom of pyramid, it's like Jenga, right? You unbalance it. And they were unbalancing their life journey because they were trying to pave their path. Looking back, I really understand that, and I have for a lot of years, quite honestly, and they were saying, for the love of God, help me. You know, nothing's working. It's not going my way. God do something, you know, and I watch these beautiful, angelic beings come in and start pulling the papers out. Now, this is all metaphorical for me, and I know that children see it as metaphors because they can't understand and and I work with children who have NDE's, I have my doctor, so I know how they see it. And so they they took the pavers out, and they came back, and they started building back the pyramid, or putting it back to the bottom. And I watched it stop moving. It was just flat, still as still can be. And they went to the top of the pyramid, they pulled off the papers, and they started paving these angelic beans. And I said, What are you doing? And they said, We are the pavers. You are not. All you have to do is walk it. Now, I know they put the questions in my head, because I asked them, How do you know if you're walking it right? And they said, We bless and block everything. Make no mistake. You can get through a block or a wall, battered and bruised at best. Susie, or you can shift on your journey. And if there's another wall, you can shift again until you see us paving your path. You think, you think. And they pointed to what I thought was my head. You know what's best for you. We know what's best for you. Problem is, humans don't listen. What you try to control controls you, and what you run from will chase you on your journey. Walk into your power, we'll be there. And I'm like, the heck do they mean? Like, what does this all mean?

Alex Ferrari 14:01
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Susan Grau 14:57
I didn't understand it, but I remember it verbatim. I've. Always said those quotes, because I remember it from them, and other things happened in that room, and then I flashed into another room. Everyone calls it the Akashic records. I call it the room of knowledge, because that's what they told me it was. And I say a room, but it's really not a room. But I don't know how to describe it any other way. It was like a place. It was all interconnected, and it was running just like we would if we go to the mall, and there's all these different stores, you know, there's all these different places, except they're not stores. It's a place all interconnected, where you learn and you grow. And I was standing there, and I was watching families and they I saw these like, I want to say tablets, but they weren't. There was nothing virtual in my life. Then, you know, I'm 65 years old, there was nothing virtual in my life at the time. And I, I but, but looking back, it felt virtual. And I, I watched these books, or tablets, books maybe come in front of them, and they were going, I'm going to do this, and I'm going to do that, and I'm going to do this. And I heard them say, Oh no, no, no, that's way too much to handle her soul. And they go, I can do it. I know I can do it. And I said, Where am I? And they said, you're in the room of knowledge. And they and I said, oh, oh, what are they doing? And it was so interesting to me, like, so Wow, what is this? And they said they're getting ready for their next incarnation. I didn't know what they meant. But later on in life, someone said to me, Do you believe in reincarnation? Susan, I went, Oh, my God, there's that word. There's that word, and I knew exactly what it meant. And then I flashed, you know, there were other things that happened in in this space, and then they walked to me or popped me. I don't know how to explain it into there are no human words. So this sounds so benign when I talk about it, but it's the close size that I can get to it. I ended up in a another space where there were animals, and they told me I was in the room of companions. And I was really happy, because I saw all these animals, and I knew I was safe. And, you know, they were everywhere, these beautiful animals and everything, and you know, not just the squirrels and everything you can think of. And I was, then I was in this open field, and there were daisies and dandelions, and the colors were unbelievable. They were like nothing I'd ever seen in my life. Journey and the music when the angels speak, and I can only know them as angels for me, so it's just a name. I want to say that but, but when they speak the words and the music come out at the same time, and I can only describe it as like the whale song, they're speaking to their young, but they are speaking in song. It's why music is so powerful to us. It touches every part of our soul, and it will take us to any memory we choose to be. And it is the power source, and it comes from that the afterlife. And I just had this beautiful experience there, and I just started sharing this because I share it in my book, but I just started sharing it because it's on podcast. So I have to share this with you, because I really like your energy. I look to my left and there was this, what I would call a mountain, and there was this bean, what I maybe source on this beautiful mountain, and I wanted so bad to get up that mountain. And I was sitting in this field, you know, playing with animals or whatever I was doing, you know, and it just like taking it all in. And the whole time I wanted my mommy, but not then, not then I looked, when I looked to my left, and I felt that it was like, I need to get up that mountain. I need to get up that mountain. And I wanted to feel this energy and this beam of radiance of nothing you've ever seen, nothing you've ever felt, came toward me, and it was pure love, like nothing you can imagine. I was everything and I was nothing. I was perfection. There wasn't anything wrong with me. I was perfect in every way, not practically perfect, but as Mary Poppins says, perfect in every way. And I remember that coming at me, just filling me with the sense of this is what Unconditional Love feels like. I've never felt it since I'm always looking for it, but I've never felt it. And I I look to my right in that an angelic being came floating towards me out of this. I call it a cobblestone cottage. I'm sure that wasn't what. It was, excuse me, I'm tearing up here. And it came out, and all I could think of was, I want to float. I wish I could float. I was floating, I'm sure, but I wanted to float, and that's all I could think of. And I was little, I was me, and I think when you're going to go back you? Are you? But there was this. So here's the other part. There was this beautiful pyramid, again, crystalline energy in front of me. It. It was shaped like a giant pyramid, but it was an energy I've never seen anything so big. And I could see faces and bodies inside of this at this thing, and I wanted to put my hands in it, but I couldn't get through it. And I know now, if I had gotten through it, if I had been able to do that, I wouldn't have come back. It was the other side. It was no return. It was the point of no return. Yeah, and I was seeing faces. Of spirits in in on the other side, I was witnessing them and the love, it was like pulsating, just like every blade of grass, every flower pulsating with life, everything, everything, even your breath, if there was breath, would pulsate. And she said, It's time to go. And I didn't know how I felt about that, but I just knew that I was next to water at that moment. And she explained to me what water was for cleansing, and I thought she meant she was going to clean me up because I was in this field to go back to my mommy. That's what I thought she meant, like I'm going to get washed. But that's not what she meant. And she said, everything is burst of water. And you know, later on in in my journey, I know about the Claire's. And Claire means Claire in French, and Claire's are what we learn to connect with the spirit world and to know our intuition, like clairvoyance, is clear. Scene, okay, and I was reading the English interpretation. I want to say that not the French interpretation, the English interpretation of what Claire means, and it's clear water that blew my mind anyway, that was later on. But water is extremely significant to us and and to the spirit world. And she said, you know, you're going to go through a lot of experiences on your journey, and you know we want, you know you're going to help people, basically, you're going to be a little healer, basically. And I, I thought, okay, you know, I don't know what that means, and I wasn't really in trepidation, but I wanted to stay there at that point. And then the next thing I they said, Well, you're going to see your mommy. And I said, Okay, now during this time, I did see my mom. I remember seeing her, and I was talking to her, and she'd move her body like she was hearing me, but she said she didn't really hear me, but she felt me, and she was hearing your babies in the freezer, and she wasn't listening because she was medicated from being institutionalized. She was on Valium. That's what they gave him, truth, Lord, and yeah, and so she didn't listen to her intuition. And so she had heard it three times before she realized, oh my god, this might be true. I'm not sure about what happened when she got to the garage. I think she told me, and, and I love to be accurate, and I can't be sure, but I think she told me the garage door was closed, and, if I recall, right? And she said she thought I couldn't open it, so I wasn't there, so she was going to turn around, and something told her, Oh, my God, my baby's in that freezer, and she flung open the garage door, and she opened up the freezer, and I was facing inward, and when she spun me around, I was ashen, she said, and my fingertips and toes were blue, and there was I wasn't breathing, and there were no cell phones, there were no garage door openers, none of that was in the my day. And she said that she she went to run and get a phone, screaming for my sister, who I believe, was at school. So you know, she was just screaming for help, and she dropped me because she was running to get a phone, and she was in a state of panic. And I was big enough at five that picking me up might not have been easy in a state of panic. And the neighbors all heard her screaming, and I fell and I cracked open my jaw, which I still have, my little scar. It's I'll never get rid of it. Even if I had facelift, I wouldn't get rid of it, which I haven't had. But she said that I took a breath. I had to have taken a breath. I know I did. I could feel it, and she and that was it. So when I when I got better, and really got better, which was like 18 hours later, I was back basically.

My mom said that I would. I, you know, I see people, and it scared her, you know? And I said, they're under my bed, they're in the corner of my room. They're looking in my windows. They're in the hallway. They were everywhere. I couldn't even go potty. I wouldn't walk down the hallway without calling someone. I was terrified. I thought they were the boogeyman, and I would cover my head and say, Go, wake, wake, away. And they didn't, but they never hurt me. So I ended up playing with them during the day, and my family called it the creepy room. It was a living room, and I would play in there. And just like spend my time with them, I play the Beatles, you know, I'm married to Paul, and they're married to Ringo. I always got Paul and I would, I would just do the play, you know, and and then I'd realize nobody's there, and then I'd get scared, and then they'd back away, and then when I wasn't scared anymore, and life was going on. I was five, you forget really quickly. You know your fears, if it's gone and they come again, and that was kind of my life journey.

Alex Ferrari 25:56
So Susan, thank you so much for sharing that in such great detail. I really appreciate you going to deep places in that explanation of what you went through. I want to go back for a minute, which is an interesting I've never heard, and I've heard a lot of Near Death Experiences. I'm like, over 100 at this point. I've never heard about the pavers before. This is a new concept, a new idea. So I wanted to ask you, from my understanding on the other side, we, which I think was what was happening in the room of knowledge, souls were getting together, their life plan, their their blueprint, the soul contract, as they say, oh, in this life, I want to learn about fame, and I also want to learn about loss, and I also want to, I want to be born to a really rich family, but, but they're not going to love me, because I want to learn all this kind of stuff. And that's when the light beings are going, No, no, no, calm down. That's way too much in one life, there's only so much you can do. You can't be an NFL player and an NBA player and a rocket scientist like that's not going to happen. It's too much to handle. So the pavers seem to me, they're kind of the because we hear on the other side that there's that the universe, for lack of a better term, is guiding us. And our spirit guides I've heard are the ones that are trying to guide us in our life. Plan what we've decided to come through and please correct me if I'm wrong, that a lot of these ideas of things that we want to do on the other side and experience in this life, they're kind of mile markers on the journey. And how you get from point A to point B is really where the Free Will lies in. But in this life, you're going to be born a woman with blonde hair, in in the in the state you were born in the country, in the time period. Those are things are not free will. They're free will on the other side, but not free will here. That's just the circumstance of your you're being born. And there's multiple like, you're going to meet this person, and this person is going to break your heart, or this person is going to support you. You're going to move to New York to become an architect, or whatever, whatever those big things are. But how you get there is kind of the the free wealth of it, yeah, is that? So the pavers, these pavers, I'll get back to the pavers. So the pavers seem to be the construction crew of the path that you're supposed to walk. And we, as souls, we we're all over the place, you know? We're like, Oh no, I want to go do this. I want to go do that and this. And you get off path, and then the spirit guides there to kind of nudge you in the right direction. But they're there building the path. So for when you find it, it's there waiting for you. And that's the path that you are supposed to be walking in, this journey that you kind of created on the other side, that's a long, long explanation to my understanding can is that make sense to you?

Susan Grau 28:48
Oh, completely. And so in the room of knowledge, they told these people, you have free will, because they kept demanding. They wanted the PhD and hardship, which is what I chose, right? You, you, you, have free will. So free will, so the path, you know, and so touching on that the path is, I picture it like doors, you know, people tell me what's a door? It's closed. I say it's a door. Open it, right? And you can walk through these doors. So picture five doors. That's just a, you know, guess. And you walk through one and you go, Oh, don't like this. If you're going through the door because you're meant to hit your soul contract, you might go through the door really bumpy and crooked. You might go through the door paving it wrong. And you might come back out of that door when that didn't work and go to the next door. But ultimately, what they have planned and what you have planned for your journey to learn, you will learn. You might be 95 but you're going to learn it. So it looks like this. You your soul wants to resonate the understanding of being married, just an example, and you will be married. And again, you might be 95 before you do it, because your free will can interfere. It gets in our way all the time. But you will be married, who you marry, how long you married, the kind of marriage you. Have can be free will. It can be contracted. It could be either or So karma as well. Yes, and karma events. Most karma is here. So have you ever noticed you'll do something to somebody, and six years later, you go, that just happened to me, and you go, Oh, I didn't like the way that felt. I wonder if I made that person feel that way. You know, you start to learn karma is here, but we want to learn those things so that we can do better. It's, it's not the cancel culture there. It's do better culture. And that's what I love. I know, I know. And they explained to me that, you know, because people always ask me, What's the hierarchy? And I think about those pavers all the time, what's the hierarchy there? And I said the hierarchy is love. The higher and more you love, the higher you vibrate. And source vibrates at the ultimate love level. The spirit world is ultimate love. And so as you're walking those pavers and that path trying to get to that because that's our soul journey. Is self, love, that's what our sole purpose is, is love. And people don't know. They ask me, What's my sole purpose? And I go, ultimately, at the end of the day, it's love of self, which is the hardest thing we do. So you know, yes, it was all about, you know, these are the things that you chose in your contract. The pavers are your contract. And you're walking it bump, it bumped and crooked, and, you know, messing it all up with free will. But we're here to help you complete it. That's what I and it's so interesting that you asked in that way, Alex, because nobody has ever asked me that question truly that way, and that's exactly what the path is. And everything for children, I noticed when I because I work with NDE children, everything they tell me is so similar because they they use a lot more metaphors with children because we understand them differently.

Alex Ferrari 32:03
Well, yeah, because, yeah, I've spoken to people who have had near death experiences as children, and you're right. They do absolutely talk more metaphor, because when you go into the other side as a child, you still have the understanding of a child. And it's not like when you go cross over as an adult, you know you have a universal wisdom. All comes in. You understand everything. Oh, there's quantum physics. I understand that now. Oh, there's, you know how to build a cake. All of it's there for you at at your whim. I call it the the spiritual cloud. We're all connected to the spiritual cloud at that point. And you have all knowledge, all the all knowledge at all time, but children, they don't react that way. It's a lot more metaphor, and they they use animals a lot. It's kind of because they're not. I'm assuming that would change as you continue down that path, if you could pass that point in no return, you you become less of the incarnation and more of this who you truly are. But because you were going to come back, they kind of package it in this in this manner. They frame it, yeah, they frame it in a different way. I have to ask you, Susan, because again, from my experience, speaking to so many near death experiencers, a lot of times with nde's. The nde happened to you because you have gone way off the path, and they've whispered and they've they tapped your shoulder, they might have nudged you. Eventually you're going to need a sledgehammer, and the NDE is the sledgehammer. If not, you're just going to skew right off the path, and you're not going to get back on the path in this life. So that's kind of like a reset for from what I understand of the soul's journey. If that is the case, what's the what would you think hap Why do you think that happened to you at the time? It happened to you? Because children, your children, you're not on a path. You're just a kid trying to figure things out. Have some fun. So what was the purpose? If you ever figured out or asked that question, why did this happen to me at that point in my life?

Susan Grau 34:08
Yes, but they explained that at the water's ledge. So I was meant to go. I knew I was going to have a very difficult life, so they were prepping me basically because I was going to use my experiences, which are plentiful, to help others. And so I think that was part of it. I also think, you know, most children at the age of four and a half, tip, you know, I was basically five. I was only two months away. They had to, hadn't gone through some of the terrible things that I had experienced already,

Alex Ferrari 34:44
Already, already. Yeah. Okay, yeah.

Susan Grau 34:48
So, you know, just in all honesty, and I don't know if you can even put this on, but I was trafficked in my neighborhood as a little girl for many years. And. Oh, my god, yeah, until we moved, and a lot of the children were and so I really believe that, you know, I had already had, well, I work with people, because I feel that I work with people who've been through that, which is what I'm talking about right now, you know, and throughout my journey, you know, the the difficulties, I was more prepared, even I knew that my soul needed to be prepared. And I don't know why, but you know, going through my journey, both my brothers and my mother died by suicide. You know, it's been very painful, difficult journey with a lot of love and joy in in it also to keep me sustained. But what they taught me was our souls are never damaged. And they wanted me to remember that, and I needed to know that, because I needed a place to go to heal. And our soul can feel the wound, but it can never be wounded. It's the vine to the Divine, and it fills us continuously to heal. And so I needed to know that because of what I chosen on my PhD and hardship. And so I really believe that's what they were trying to show me, is that there is more to me and to them. And they've got me, they've got my path, they've got me, and that helped me survive all of the trauma.

Alex Ferrari 36:25
So that makes so much sense, because they were giving you an understanding of why, what was going to happen to you and as has happened to you in your life journey, there was the purpose for it, and it wasn't something random, and it wasn't some punishment or anything like that. So because you had that understanding, it was the only thing that kept you going, essentially. Does that make sense?

Susan Grau 36:46
I believe that, I think that I was, I knew how to tap into my soul during it, to heal myself. Because I don't think I would have healed all that, those losses, among others, by the way, five died by suicides in my life. Wow, and I, and I don't know if I would have survived that, and but my soul knew I would because of the preemptive experience, you know, they were preparing me for the journey, and I've used all of it to help people heal, and it's so prevalent now, unfortunately, And so I see a lot of, you know, mothers and fathers, you know, I work with them and and sisters and brothers, you know, and and even children who who want to leave the planet because they're so empathic. So I wanted to leave the planet too till I was 38 years old. And there, I can't say there's never times I don't think it, it's not the right choice, by the way. I want to say that we need to do our journey. I do not want to repeat this life journey in any form. I've learned enough. I got hope, and I'm not. So I really say stay, stay here, or you've already gone through a lot of it, you know, get, get through that and and there's so much beauty to it, also, there's so much beauty to life, to sustain us. And they've made sure of that, even though we get in our own way of the beauty, they've made sure of that, that it's there for us to take. It's for the taking.

Alex Ferrari 38:14
We do get ourselves. We do get it in our own way. So much in this life. I mean, every walk of life, we always get in our own way. It's, you know, that the way we look at ourselves, the self love, there's a lot, it seems to be a lot more self hate than there is safe self love, beating yourself up over mistakes or things like that. It's I pre I applaud you for the work that you're doing in this life. I really do because it's absolutely needed. So Susan, when you came back and started your life back up as a five year old, I know it's it's you're just happy to be there, but the the psychological processing of what you had just gone through and what how other people around you perceived you, even in an environment that at least understood from your grandparents and your bloodline, essentially of psychic mediums and things like that. How did you process this psychologically, and How were you treated by your surrounding, family and friends and colleagues, even as you got older and started getting becoming an adult?

Susan Grau 39:34
You know, I was bullied, of course, because they'd be playing and I'd say, your grandma wants to play, right? And they'd go, you're so mean, my grandma died, and they'd punch me or something with their little hands, you know? And to me, that was a big deal. But so I was bullied. I was definitely a codependent caretaker, and so all I needed was to feel that love again. That's what I was looking for. So love me, love me, love me. Tell me what you want from me. I will do it. Just. Love for me. I need. I was looking for that feeling again. And of course, humans can't project that. They just can't. It's we have a brain, and it gets in the way. And there's condition on love. There is, you know, and people say, Oh, you have to learn to unconditionally love it. If someone beats your child, you're not going to love them. There will always be somewhere in your journey, a condition to your love on this planet. So I was looking for that unconditional love, which, you know, I couldn't achieve. And my family, I didn't talk about it a lot. We didn't talk about what we saw. My mother was terrified of it, you know, if you think about what she went through. My brother ended up schizophrenic, and he gets extremely gifted, extremely gifted, yes, and we weren't allowed to talk about it. And I think it took him off the ledge. I think that area of his brain just went over the top. And he would talk to spirits, and I would see the spirits he was talking to so I knew he was talking to spirits, but, but noone believed him, and it made him insane. And I hate the word insane, but that's what he would say. It makes me insane. And so he started self medicating. So we had a lot of addiction in our family. Um, my sister had the gift of feeling why people weren't well. So she didn't see as much spirit as I did, but she had this feeling of how the emotion was connected to the illness she just knew. So she did a lot of Reiki, things like that when she got older. So it was there, but it wasn't talked about. So I felt on the outside looking in my whole life. I felt like I was on the outside of a window, and I could crawl open the window and crawl in and be part of but I had to get back out, because that's where I really was, and then I was on the outside again.

Alex Ferrari 41:51
But Susan, let me ask you, why do you think that your family was given these gifts, if it has caused so much trauma and pain, because, I mean, from knowing many psychics and many mediums and many channelers throughout my years, even before I started doing this show, I know it's not an easy path that I know it's an easier path Today, depending on where you live in the world, than it was 10 years ago. No question, especially from your mom's day. But why do you think that what was the purpose of it? Because people listening will go, well, they were given this amount. I mean, it's essentially magical, quote, unquote, magical gifts to be able to speak to the other side and have these, you know, extra, essentially, perception of what's going on, and talk to the dead. And in these are, these are gifts. It's usually referred to as a gift, not a curse. Why do you think they were given these gifts? And you specifically, you're, I haven't heard of a family like this. I've heard of one, maybe two, but this was a bloodline, essentially, it was there, was there a was there, in your opinion, a karmic, a family karma that needed to that you've been dealing with and processing in multiple generations of this bloodline. Because I've never heard of a, I mean, I had my in my family. I've had it, my grandparents had it, and my aunt had it, and there's things like that. So I was aware of it. But this is different. This is a whole very, very high end abilities, very honed abilities, but I've never seen it destroy essentially, a family like it has yours, if I may be so bold to say something like that.

Susan Grau 43:43
No, I understand.

Alex Ferrari 43:44
Yeah, I don't mean that in any bad way. But you know what I mean?

Susan Grau 43:46
Of course. No. I mean, who wouldn't think? You know? Yes, I see. I feel the same way. Sometimes I don't think it was meant for that. But we have free will. My mother was her what you fear you feed, right? Right? And what you feed you perceive and believe, and what you perceive and believe becomes your reality. So their free will created fear around it. Unfortunately, I don't think that it was karmic, necessarily. Some of it might have been, but I really believe that it was their fear, and fear was created by, you know my father putting my mother away, and you know the disease of alcoholism and addiction. And you know this, this is human stuff, right? This is our brain. Our brain creates addiction. And was it part of the karmic event? I some of it may be in some of it not, um, but I believe that it my brother, for instance. Let's just stay with my brother. Had my brother been in a home where, you know, people weren't afraid and feeding the fear, he wouldn't have gone to where he was. So my mother's own free will, her circumstances, and I don't blame her at all. I want to say that. That I love her, but she wasn't well after that, and man put her on medication, you know? So I don't, I mean, I don't mean men. I mean manhood, you know, human humanity. Yeah, human humanity. Thank you. So I think that, you know, that unfortunately, became the circumstance based on the Free Will events in the home. You know, my father was an alcoholic. You know, there just was a lot of free will events that went on that created circumstances that that's what I believe it is. I'd hate to think that the spirit world cursed us with the gift, because I don't feel cursed in any form. I don't even believe that that would be a circumstance. The gift was meant for us to do good with it, and I believe ultimately, we all did, you know, because my brother left the planet the way he did, I'm able to help people who have lost people that way because my my mother went on medication. I'm able to help people gain sanity when they have this gift because so I can because it, you know, and not in spite of it, because of it. I became a better healer, and that was my job. I was the one that had the near death experience. I was the one that had the connection to the spirit world as strongly as I did, and so I needed to know why and how to help people. And those experiences created that for me.

Alex Ferrari 46:36
So in when you said, in this scenario, the Free Will was there. There could be timelines out there where Free Will was changed and multiple choices would have been changed. So there might be another world. And I always talk about that. I'd love to hear your point of view on parallel timelines of how that, because it fascinates me, the multiverse and all that stuff. But everything is explored in this life, every choice, every major choice, spawns off in you infinite. It's infinite timelines of, you know, you didn't have a near death experience in one line timeline, there wasn't as much trauma, and you might have been doing something else in another life, absolutely and gone, and you could be, does that make sense to you?

Susan Grau 47:18
Absolutely, you know, my book is infinite life, infinite lessons. Think about that. You just said the word infinite, and you said it earlier. I think that's why I say that we have different infinite realities and experiences. And this particular one, what it is and was and will be my PhD in hardship and the the others, I'm sure, are very different, but all of them serve me. So pain and joy are equal in value. And in fact, I think pain is higher, because they both teach us something. But pain teaches me the most I want out of it, right? And I learned the most from it. So I was meant to learn exponentially. I mean, I was meant to learn in a way that is at a very high level of understanding of our spiritual being here and there. So I believe that my my experience here and my experience in my other realities, will all come together into my highest self, and I will be whole because of all the different experiences. But pain is one of those. I guess I didn't want to spread it out, is what I think I'm hoping. I didn't want to spread it out to all my different dimensional experiences. I just thought I could handle it all in in this particular, you know, skidded over with basically, and I'll be really happy over there and, and I am happy here I am, you know, I'm filled with joy and and, and I'm also sad. I have both, you know, I grieve. I will grieve. Grief never goes away. I will grieve the rest of my journey. How I grieve matters. It's not just about grieving how I do. It matters, you know, and so I chose to heal. Every time it comes up, I heal it, and I have this powerful force, and I think it comes from the other dimensional situations. I have this powerful source to heal. So what might take someone? Maybe they have a grief experience. It might take someone months and months to to deal with it. And I'm not talking death. I'm not talking that kind of loss, but maybe, maybe your kids stop talking to you and you have this enormous grief around that I would heal within a week or two, where someone else might want to leave the planet and not be able to heal this for years, and never stop focusing on it. So it's given me, and I think that comes from the other dimensional experiences. I think. My soul is connected into every single one of them.

Alex Ferrari 50:04
Yeah, and we don't have to go down the road of quantum jumping. That's a whole other conversation about getting into those other lives but,

Susan Grau 50:11
I don't understand it enough to go down the road,

Alex Ferrari 50:14
And I barely understand it myself, but it's always all this stuff fascinates me. As you can tell, I'm very curious about all of this. Now, Susan, when you decided, you know you're going through your life, this is something that's part of your life. You're not really walking, you know, getting away from it. But as you said when you married, your husband didn't tell them that you saw, you know, dead people. That's a big thing. That's a big thing to leave out, by the way. Susan, don't do that. Susan, don't do everyone listen. Don't do that. It's a very big you know, it's kind of like getting married. You're like, oh, I also owe $300,000 on my credit cards. Like, you should probably mention that

Susan Grau 50:53
I absolutely agree. Freak him out when he finally realized it freaked him out,

Alex Ferrari 50:59
As you as it would any any person who's not on that path or has that kind of understanding or even acceptance. I mean, look, I don't have your gifts, but just by doing the show, people are people ask me this stuff all the time, and they're fascinated with it, and it freaks them out sometimes, and I've lost friends over it, but I've gained other friends from it. So it all kind of works out in the end. But when you, when you, when did you decide to kind of come out of the closet, if you were the spiritual closet, the psychic medium closet, when did you decide to come out with it, and how did you deal with the repercussions of it? Because, as I always say, This clears a room, depending on the room that you're in. When you I see dead people like, that's a you know, that's a thing. How so when did you come out and how did you deal with it?

Susan Grau 51:51
Well, when my grandmother passed, I was about 18 years old, and she came and she spoke to me, and always when I'm awake or they wake me, wake up. I just died. And this was my life. Wake up. I just died. You're going to hear so and so's brother's best friend died, and I didn't die on purpose, and they think I did, and you need to tell them when you hear about it. And then the next day I'd hear so that was kind of my journey, and I would be like remiss in telling them, but I felt compelled, and then they'd never talk to me again. They'd be afraid of me, of course, of course. And but when my grandmother died, my Nana, I was very close to her, and I didn't know she died, and I got the call the next day, but that night she visited me. I ended up calling UCLA. They were doing things in ESP and it was new, and I called them, and I got someone on the phone, and I said, this is what's happening to me. And he said, You sounds like you're a medium. And I said, What's that? And he said, You talk to dead people. And I I hung up the phone, and I never spoke of it again. Yeah, it freaked me out. I didn't know what that meant exactly. I didn't consider them dead people.

Alex Ferrari 52:53
Well, what year was that? So for people who have a reference point.

Susan Grau 52:56
Umm, 1974 maybe, yeah.

Alex Ferrari 53:00
God, this is, yeah, that's definitely back back, back room kind of conversations. You definitely, yeah. I'm talking about that out front

Susan Grau 53:09
Exactly. And, and so then I would start waking, you know, wake up. I just, you know, I can go to sleep now, okay, go to sleep. This is weird. And then I'd say things like, Oh, your aunt just visited me, and your aunt died. And I What, what are you talking about? And then the next day, we get the call. So I was slowly introducing it on the side the people that did accept it, because it was the hippie days. So there were people that did accept it, I would be reading that, but never telling anyone. So I was already doing it, but I would say, probably I became an addiction and grief specialist and and counselor, and I worked in that area, so I was always dealing with grief, and I would know things, so I'd slip it out just a little bit like, oh, maybe your PTSD is because you tried to revive your grandma when you were five years old, and she, you know, passed away, and you couldn't, I didn't tell you that, and I, I would literally recoil, because I thought for sure I was going to, you know, the loony bin and they were going to take my license. But that didn't happen. They would tell their mom, and their mom would tell their friend, and their friend would tell their friend. So people started slowly coming to me, and I was part of a really powerful, what I would call a group of heat for healing. And I started when I was in my early 20s. So I, you know, Al Anon and I, and so I was always, you know, they were kind of cool people, you know, they had been in alcoholism, in their families and things like that. So I, you know, these are people who saw things and knew things. So I would read them all the time. But what I did was, when Facebook came out, and I don't even know how long ago that was, I typed

Alex Ferrari 54:49
That was 2000 and want to say 2003 2004 2005, that's when it was college. Only colleges.

Susan Grau 54:57
Yes, okay, 20 years ago. Then, yeah. I typed on my Facebook. So it must have been right around when it came out, I'm guessing okay, I and I typed, I am a medium. I talked to dead people. If you don't want to be my family because they're all Catholic, right, you don't want to be my friend, I understand. I get it. It's okay. But I talked to dead people. I see dead people. And I pressed the button and I sobbed, not out of fear, out of relief, which is weird, because I thought I'm terrified. I think there was some fear in there, but I didn't want to acknowledge it. And then people would call me and go, you don't think we knew that?

Alex Ferrari 55:39
It's like, you're coming out as a gay person, and you're like, we've known you've been gay for years, like, it's like, it's so obvious, literally, the same.

Susan Grau 55:48
What? And then others didn't know that I wasn't really close to and they didn't walk away. I'm sure some did. I don't know about them because I didn't notice, because there weren't enough, you know, for me to notice. Most everyone just loved me. I had a beautiful energy. I was a healer. I loved people, I wanted to help everyone. I was kind. I had a true innate kindness, and I still do. And so they didn't want to walk away from me, I don't think. And from there it was, started take off, but still, people would say, what do you do for a living? I'm a therapist, right? And then I'd wait, and then I'd kind of test the waters and go, and I had this kind of thing that I do, I had a near death experience, I had this thing that I kind of do, and they'd go, what? Or they'd go, huh? But I would wait to see if I could read them. And, you know, I had people that wanted to be my, you know, spot their sponsees and Al Anon, and they'd want to be a sponsee. And then I tell them, what I want you to know is that I can talk to your family on the other side that died from this addiction and blah, blah, blah. And they, some of them, would go, that's evil. Of course, you what you do is evil. I I'm going to pray for you. And that would just like, Oh my God, because it was part of me. It wasn't outside of me. So they were telling me I was evil, which was extremely painful, and but yet others would go, Whoa, tell me about this, you know. And I go, Okay, let's do it. Yeah. So it was like, I got both.

Alex Ferrari 57:14
That's, it's, it's, it's fascinating. I always find it people who I'm a recovering Catholic as well. So, so I always find it fascinating when people are like, Oh, that's the devil's work. And like, I'm like, That's demons or something like that. And I always go, man, these, these demons in the devil, they're doing a really poor job. Because generally when you hear psychic mediums and channels working, it's love, it's helping. It's being of service. It's not like you should go do this or you should go do that. No, it's always love, and it's always profound knowledge or profound insight or something like that. They just don't understand how to connect it into their programming that doesn't fit in the programming. So they have to lash out, or they have to put you in a box of evil for them to even be comfortable in their own skin, is what I found. Would you agree?

Susan Grau 58:09
I agree 100% and people still do it. You know? I get letters and people go, I'm praying for you. They do that. You see the light, yeah? And I'm like, Okay, I'm not in darkness. You know, I am light. You know, people tell me when you leave to go to the other side, do you use? Did you see the light? And I said, Oh, you you're so you have such a misconception. You are the light, and when you cross, you are in the light. Unless you have an experience you're meant to learn, because you're coming back. And it might be that you have to see the darkness to understand they know you're coming back. And maybe it needs to be the darkness for you to understand, to make the change, otherwise you're going to see the light because you are the light, because you're moving over and you're staying

Alex Ferrari 59:01
The problem with that concept, which I don't I think it's wonderful that you are the light that you are. We are all one, that we are connected to source. Not only are we source, but we are source. We are fractals, of of source, of God, for lack of a better word, that concept is very, very difficult for someone who has been programmed with dogmatic, fear based religions, it's very difficult, because they've given their power away to another entity, another institution, and to say that, no, no, you, I'm sorry. But by the way, Christ said this, you the power of kingdom, the power of evidence within you, everything I can do, you could do. And more like these are straight from, straight from the source's mouth, if you will, and yet, but they don't connect with that aspect of it. It's one of the things that I really like to talk about, because there are a lot of people who are curious, and they'll listen to a show like this, and if we throw little nuggets like that, little seeds for them to. Go, huh? You know, maybe, and that's what I try to do with these conversations.

Susan Grau 1:00:06
You know, I love that you brought that up because, you know, I have my my doctorate is in divinity, and I

Alex Ferrari 1:00:14
And the devils work as well, obviously, and the devils work go ahead.

Susan Grau 1:00:18
I'm like, why did he What did he mean it? I'm sure you saw my face.

Alex Ferrari 1:00:25
I have I tell jokes. I apologize. Go ahead.

Susan Grau 1:00:27
I know I love it. Corinthians, 7 through 12, says my brothers and sisters, I give you these gifts. It comes from one God, one source, the gift of prophecy, the gift of knowing when you're speaking to the dead, the gift of tongue, the gift of knowing how to understand tongue, the gift of, oh, I mean, I could just go down the list. There's a whole list of it, special gifts, and I choose Source, chooses who will receive those gifts in this lifetime. I mean, it says spells it out point blank, and it is not to be excluded from the understanding of what what the human condition is. And it talks about right after that, if I take off your foot, your foot is still your foot. So what he's what he's trying to say is, or what source is trying to tell us is, is, no matter what our experience, we will still be what we are. And that is was given to us by one source, and that source made the decision we are not to judge it, because then we are judging source. But people don't read that, and it's so interesting. And especially King James, it's really wonderful how they display it out, how they say it it literally, it doesn't say brethren, and all those things. So it makes it very easy to understand. And my brothers and sisters, I give you the gifts, the gift of knowing, the gift of wisdom, the gift of prophecy, the gift of healing. He he spells it out, or they source spells it out. Whatever you choose, it's all the same thing. Whatever you choose to call it, it's just a name, like, I can call you Sam, and I can call you Alex, but you're still you, right? I'm just calling you by a different name, but, you know? And we do that, I do that to my dog. I call my dog boopy, and my dog's name is Charlie, but still boopy, you know. And Charlie is boopy, right? I think of the boob, nose, boop, but, you know, at the end of the day, it is right there in black and white. But we fight it, and we are afraid of it, and it's because it's the unknown to us. But we truly aren't unknown. It's kind of like people say to me, I've never grieved, and I this is unknown to me, and I don't know how, and I tell them, you've been grieving since you were born. You grieved when you were coming out of the womb. That's why you fought it so much. You grieved until they wrapped you in a blanket of love. So, you know, you're poked and prodded when you come out, and doctors are looking, you're under a bright light, you know, what's going on here? And everybody's moving you and turning you, and they're picking, you know, pricking you, you know, in your little feet, and you're terrified. And then they wrap you in a blanket of warmth, of love, and put you in your mommy's arms, and you're safe and secure, and life is good. It's the same thing when you cross. We fight it. We're afraid of it. We don't want it. We don't know what to expect. It's the unknown. And then we get there and we're wrapped in a blanket of love, and we're at peace, and it's like, oh, I'm home. So people can see it that way. They lose their fear a little bit, but they've also grieved in between, there's a lot of grief all the way down to all the stages of grief. If I lose my favorite pencil, my husband bought me this beautiful pen and pencil, said I lost. It had my name on it. I grieved. I went through denial. I know it's here somewhere, you know what? I'm digging through things. And then I went through anger. What the heck did I do with it? I wouldn't be so stupid as to lose it. This was so important to me. It was so special. And then I went through the bargaining, you know of I'm going to find it. I know I'm going to find it. Then I go back to anger I'm not finding I finally got to acceptance. I'm not going to find it. It's real. It's gone. Okay? That is what we do all of our lives. So we already are prepared for grief. It's not foreign to us. So when people come to me grieve, and I say, this is a big one, but you do have innately inside of you all of the answers to move through it. It is not foreign to you, which takes some of the fear away from it. So throughout my journey, I've had very deep griefs. Obviously, you know, I dropped that bomb earlier, and it's a bomb, and I know that. And you know, people go watch, you lost all those people. And you know, I used to say, I don't want to tell people, because they whether they're going to think about my family, they're going to think what's wrong with their family, and they're going to go through the list, you know, and I'm going to be judged. And then I recognized that was me thinking. That was my thinking. And when I released that, like, what's wrong with my family, when I released it, it lost its power. So what other. People thought didn't matter anymore. And it's that way with almost everything we do, isn't it?

Alex Ferrari 1:05:05
Oh, I mean, I once I stopped doing that, then this became a lot easier of a journey. It's very difficult to if you, I mean, are you kidding me? How many comments come in on a daily basis?

Susan Grau 1:05:17
Yeah, I know, in the light of fire too.

Alex Ferrari 1:05:22
I mean, it's so it's, you know, there's a lot of love, but there's also a lot of misunderstanding. And it is what it is. It's just part of the journey. Now, Susan, I'm going to ask you a few questions. Ask all my guests, what is your definition of living a fulfilled life?

Susan Grau 1:05:37
Self love. Once I love myself, I can love others self. Love is the most powerful lesson we have to learn here. And if we can get there, even for a moment, we want more of it, because it feels so good.

Alex Ferrari 1:05:55
If you had a chance to go back in time and talk to little Susan, what questions? Oh, what advice would you give her?

Susan Grau 1:06:01
To accept myself, to know that I was enough and I was worthy because I didn't. I wanted others to tell me that. I would tell her, don't worry about others' opinions of you. Worry about your opinion of you. That's what matters most.

Alex Ferrari 1:06:22
How do you define God or Source?

Susan Grau 1:06:25
Love, beauty, light, pulsating, alive, perfection.

Alex Ferrari 1:06:34
What is love?

Susan Grau 1:06:37
Well, it's not measurable, so I don't know how to measure it no more than grief is, but love is a feeling of complete and total peace and acceptance. It's a serenity that we are searching for throughout our journeys.

Alex Ferrari 1:06:53
And what is the ultimate purpose of life?

Susan Grau 1:06:57
The sole purpose is self, love, and through that, we learn to be an acceptance and love of others. We learn to grow and trust the journey. And that's the purpose, is to grow our everything our soul is here for is expansion. The more we expand. So we're here for the experiential. That's what we're here for. So if I told you all about the ocean, but you'd never seen the ocean, you'd never put your feet in it, you'd never smell it, you'd never rolled in the waves. You would need to experience it to really understand it, and that's what we chose to do, and that's why we're here.

Alex Ferrari 1:07:38
And where can people find out more about you and the amazing work you're doing in the world.

Susan Grau 1:07:43
They can go to my website. It's susangrau.com they can go to Susan Grau official, on all platforms, I'm having a book signing october 26 at the grove. They can read my book, infinite life, infinite lessons. It will I show you it. It's beautiful. It will teach them so much of what I've been talking about, this book is about my journey, but it's also got exercises and ways to to change and grow and to learn about the spirit world. It's so beautiful. The book is to learn how to tap into your fear, how to tap into your loved ones, how to release fear and learn your intuition. It's and the pure love of spirit, you know. So it's a very much a light. So that's another way.

Alex Ferrari 1:08:27
And what is your what parting messages do you have for the audience?

Susan Grau 1:08:33
Release the fear. Just allow, let go and allow. If you can release the fear, it opens the pathway for you to learn everything you're meant to learn. Remember what you fear you feed, and if you feed fear becomes your reality. So release the fear. Just be, just be, and everything will unfold.

Alex Ferrari 1:08:56
Susan, it's been such a pleasure talking to you today, and thank you so much for sharing your extraordinary journey with all of us, and I hope that this conversation does help a few souls on their journey. So I appreciate you and everything you're doing to awaken this planet. So thank you.

Susan Grau 1:09:11
Thank you for having me. This has been amazing.

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