Alex Ferrari 0:00
Tell me what your life was like before you died.

Karen Lorre 0:08
My neighbor kids, all the kids. We had a whole bunch of kids in our neighborhood. It was like a everybody, every family, but every house almost had, you know, multiple kids. So I was on a big wheel, and they were on bikes. They were most of them were older, and we were going around the block, and I was trying to keep up, and I was, you know, pedaling really hard, and then there was a tree, and there was the sidewalk came up, and it looked daunting, you know, to my little low body there. And so I'm trying, and I'm thinking, Oh, I hope I can make it over that hill. And I hit the concrete of the far side, and my big wheel went flying, and I went towards and I remember the flight. I like the flight, but I went towards the tree that was a sycamore tree, and I didn't remember anything for 22 hours, I think, and then it was noon when I woke up the next day. I didn't remember this, but I did remember it, and it helped me cure one of my diseases called narcolepsy, which was where you wake up all the time at night, and then you're exhausted, falling asleep during the day. What happened was, Dr Bouch. He was my pediatrician. He came to the house, and I was above. I was watching above, although I didn't remember this until I 10 or 15 years ago, but I was watching above. I was floating above, and I could see my little body on the couch, and I could hear Dr Bouch, and he was saying, you've got to wake her up every hour or she will die. And I saw my little body believe I better wake up every hour or I will die. And that's narcolepsy. And when I saw it, whenever it was years ago, I was very relaxed. And then that memory came back to me, and I saw the whole thing, and I realized that my little self had believed that in order to live, I have to wake up every hour. And I healed it. I did some fast healing, actually. And then that night was the first time I slept through the night. And then it started to get better and better in my sleep. I don't need any of the narcolepsy medicines anymore. The doctor, I told him I had cured it, and he didn't have any curiosity. He's a good guy too. I really liked him, but once I said I didn't need the medicine anymore, that was the first one, and I believe that that's where actually a lot of diseases for many people come from situations where somebody says something, and you believe it as a kid, and then you live it out as you keep going. I was doing a modeling job. I had sailed to Hawaii, so I was living on a boat, but then they were doing a modeling job with me on a different boat, a big boat. And our boat was like 44 foot. This one was like 76 foot. And we were doing a modeling I was doing a modeling job, and it was a spinnaker flying. Spinnakers are the really beautiful, big, huge wind sailboats that are out at the front of the boat, usually. And what they do for Spinnaker flying, it's attached at the top of the mast, and then the Spinnaker, the two ends of the Spinnaker, come down, and they put a little seat in and you you go flying, and it was gusting. It was about 30 to 40 knots, you know, kind of inconsistent gusts. And I didn't, I'd never been Spinnaker flying, so they said, you know, just one guy went up first, and he was being bounced around, and he was probably 280 pounds, and I was probably 100 and so I get on the Spinnaker, and I didn't have the ballast, you know, I'm holding on, but I didn't have any ballast to keep the spinnaker in the proper sail position. So it went up, and then it whipped and then it whipped me onto my back, onto the ocean, and it was painful, it was and then so the air got knocked out of me, and it was way past Hawaii's a volcano Island, just on Oahu. And the volcano, you know, is under the water for a while, but after the volcano, it's just two miles deep, or a mile and a half, or something like that. It's pretty deep. And so I went down like a rock. I probably got a concussion. I got completely disoriented, couldn't breathe, I didn't know where I was. I got down so deep that I couldn't tell where the surface was. I couldn't tell if it was that way or that way or that way I was. I was so disoriented, and I didn't have any energy. I hadn't been able to breathe, obviously, underwater. And although I think babies can breathe underwater, so maybe I should have been able to breathe underwater, I just didn't know how to do it. Then started to give up. You know, it was so hard. It was just so hard, and I was so disoriented, and I started to give up. And I felt myself go into this light. It was this beautiful golden light, and I felt like I could see, almost like an energy, of people I knew, but I didn't know who they were. I knew they were there, and it seemed very welcoming, but I couldn't it wasn't like I could make out their faces or anything like that. It was more like a like an etching, but an etching with maybe from energy or something like that. And it felt like there were people there that loved me, and it felt like total acceptance. And it felt like like love. It felt beautiful, and it was so attractive, and I was so interested in it. And then I heard a voice that said, Do you want to live or die? I thought of my mom, and I thought how my mom would be devastated, you know, if I died. And so I thought, I want to live, and within a second, I was removed from that energy, and I was being pushed towards the surface. I didn't is like I had rockets on my feet. It was that kind of a feeling. I still couldn't breathe, and I finally get up to this, to the thing, and I can't get a breath because the air had been knocked out of me. So I didn't have any ability to breathe still. And. There's a guy from the boat, and he was throwing a life vest. But the waves are big, you know, and it's very kind of tumultuous, good 10 feet maybe. So I can't, I don't have any air. I can't swim to the life vest. It's maybe 30 feet away, 40 feet away. I'd gone pretty far from the boat. And so then I started to slip back down into the water, and I started to feel that beautiful love again, that total acceptance, that welcoming feeling. And again, I heard the voice, do you want to live or do you want to die? And I again, thought of my mom, and I said, I want to live. And I don't know. The next thing that happened was I was on the lifesaver. I don't know how I got there. I just got there, and I just somehow got there. And it was, it was far, I don't, still hadn't breathed. He's pulling me in. And then he was on the rope ladder. And then he put me over his shoulder and climbed up the rope ladder. They had to pump my stomach, you know, just like, make me throw up. And then they had to give me mouth to mouth before I breathed. So I was probably out for like, 10 minutes, so that that was my thing. I was black and blue the next day, all up and down my spine, my whole my whole back, my spine. I might have even have a broken bone somewhere, and I don't know where I broke it on my clavicle, and maybe it was there. I don't know. I wasn't able to breathe. I wasn't able to breathe for nine or 10 minutes. It felt like it was my spirit. Now, when I look back on it, it felt like it was my spirit. But I didn't know I had a spirit back then, I just felt like all the pain in my body went away. I just felt completely like it felt like I was home. I remembered it 16 years ago. I knew I'd had the accident, and I knew I'd had some problems, but I didn't really like 16 years ago I had a real spiritual awakening. And my life, I was in my house, nothing was going on, but my life passed before my eyes, and I literally saw all these experiences in my life that I had never, you know, thought about and they all started coming in, and that was one of them. And I saw the whole thing, and I just was it just all came back. It felt like a life review. And what I was seeing was this is what was so interesting. Every single time I was having fun, I saw all this good stuff that happened every single time that I was not having fun and like that modeling job I didn't feel comfortable to begin with, on that boat with the people as I would see where I was not having fun. I would see how things I didn't want happen to me. So it was a really clear understanding of how much my mood impacted my life. That's what it was. It was a review of how much of my mood is dictating my life, and both sides of it, you know, the good mood or the bad mood. And it was a that's what gave me the spiritual awakening, in a lot of ways, because it was like, Oh my God, every time I'm in a good mood, good things happen. Every time in a bad mood, bad things happen. It was so obvious. I did a lot of drinking and drugs. I was trying to do something. I didn't I got I ended up stopping that just a couple years later, but for a few years, I really I couldn't think about any of that. It just seemed it didn't make sense to me, and I didn't understand it. So I just kept, um, there was a pain in my body that was so extreme from that thing. And then I've always had some psychic stuff, or at least since I was three or four, I've always had psychic experiences where I've known things, and those just have been increasing and increasing and increasing. It's just that, I think for me, it was, I was passionate about it. I was very interested in it. Some people aren't as interested, and some people don't believe it when they are psychic, and it doesn't feel like I have, I'm special, or anything like that. It just feels like they've had this desire, and then I've had experiences that sort of became very obvious again about being psychic, that there was something that was going on that I didn't I didn't know how I was doing it, but I was doing it. I also had trauma. I went to a church where the minister was a pedophile when I didn't go to the church, but my friends invited me to go to the youth group, and they said, You love this minister. He's great. He's great with youth. And then they sent me. When I was in seventh or eighth grade, they sent me to the school psychologist who was a pedophile. And so I don't know what was going on. I grew up in Long Beach, but there was something going on. It was so clear to me that I was more in control of my life than I realized. That's where the life change happened. I just I saw it. I saw it so clearly, and I got exhilarated by the feeling that, oh, we're all in the driver's seat more than we know. Of course, there's other things that are happening around us, but we have much more power with accessing our, you know, our good feelings, to create more goodness. That's kind of how it happened for me. So it got me, it got me very excited, because I thought, oh, I can start to do this. I knew I had things in my life. I had a lot of depression, but I had things in my life that really made me happy, like doing acrobatics or flying the trapeze, or any of those things that I like to do, gymnastics, all those things. So I started to do that more, going to the beach, being out in the ocean, you know, scuba diving. I just started to do as many of those things as I could that I like. I really believe we have the ability. You really have had your own experiences. Some people don't have that desire. You know, I showed up to, I think sailing was my first meditation, actually, because my mind felt like it had been encapsulated in a, you know, those golf balls you take off the, the olden times you take off the the golf ball, and it's all these, it's this long rubber band that just goes it goes out. That's what sailing because there was no other boat. There was nothing. There was no light pollution, there was no music. I mean, we had the music of a tape, but not very many tapes, you know. So it was not like that. I just had books my partner and and a few tapes, this a long time ago. My mind literally felt like it was like an opened golf ball, and that it was just like, I think that was my very first experience of learning how to meditate, because it was so peaceful. There was nothing you had to do except for, you know, live, but there was nothing you know, there was not a lot. There was nothing you were required to do. There was nothing about time. There was nothing about what do people think? So it was, I think the first experience of meditation. There's so many ways to meditate, and every person will have what works for them. But one of the things I found that helps me is I write out something I'm appreciative about first, so I have that good feeling, and I'm already, like centered on my heart. And then when I'm meditating, I keep my attention on my heart, because my the heart is a pilot of the brain. The heart knows things. The heart is really brilliant. And so I just keep my attention on the heart. And then I saw things that I was going to go and experience, and I saw it in detail, and I've seen that, and I didn't do it on purpose. I don't even know how I did it. It's just that it happened. I've levitated, I've bent spoons, all these weird things from that power of meditation and that power of being receptive, you're in that place where whatever that energy, that divine energy, that knows you and knows what you want, is that energy just pours into you, and it creates this beautiful waterfall of all that you want. And so I love that. So I like writing out the appreciation first, and I like putting my attention on my heart, having communion with my spirit and with others all day, every day. So I'm always happy. I'm in the flow. You don't have to stress about anything. Everything is flow. Chill out. Have fun. It's going to be easy. You know, everything will flow to you easily if you're happy, love, infinite power, total understanding, total acceptance, infinite wisdom. Funny, playful, caring, thoughtful, innovative, creative, genius, invincible. It's who we are. It's our true nature when we're not blocking it. It's the path. Love is the bridge to all you want. As Ruby Rumi says love is freedom, love is power, but it's a gentle power, but it's much powerful than not gentle power. Love is it's everything. There's nothing that is not love.