Alex Ferrari 0:00
Why do you think from a spiritual perspective, looking at it from a bird's eye view, this needed to happen to you in this life?

Kelly Sammy 0:07
I lived 38 years as a miserable person who felt like life was constantly pulling her into the undertow and happening to me, but as we often know with depression, anxiety and trauma, if it's untreated, it will resurface. And that's absolutely what started to happen for me. And then all of a sudden, there was this thrust, and I knew I wasn't a body. And all of a sudden, you know, burst into this darkness. I call it the void. Everything that my life had been built on was all of a sudden seen as a complete lie. If you look at any of the biblical chapters or any of the religions, they all say the same thing, we just misinterpret.

Alex Ferrari 0:55
What other elements have you started to recollect about that near death experience?

Kelly Sammy 1:00
But when I had the recollection on the other side, what I saw were there were many.

Alex Ferrari 1:17
Now before we jump into this episode. If this conversation resonates with you, please, like, subscribe and share this with whoever you feel that needs to hear it. Your support helps us keep bringing this information out into the world and helps us awaken this planet. Thank you. I like to welcome to the show Kelly Sammy, how you doing Kelly?

Kelly Sammy 1:40
I'm great. Alex, how are you? It's great to be here.

Alex Ferrari 1:44
Thank you so much for being on the show. I truly, truly appreciate you coming on the show and sharing your near death experience with us. And it is a it is a treacherous journey yours. I've spoken to about 150 now, near death experiences probably even more so I've heard every kind of flavor almost at this point, many, many different flavors of near death experiences, but very few have spoken about your journey and what you had to go through. So can you before we get to your actual near death experience, and when you transitioned over what was, what was your life like leading up to that point?

Kelly Sammy 2:29
Yeah, I was 38 when this happened in 2008 and I tell people that I had lived a life of what I called victimhood, and I didn't know it at the time. You know the dialog that was playing internally for me throughout my life was life is happening to me, and so everything that happened, woe with me was kind of the reaction. And I grew up in a chaotic family. I had two alcoholic parents and a lot of destruction and breakdown, and, you know, I literally just navigated life to the next obstacle, and then I could sabotage. And then I got to say, See, see, life, this is what it is. And so it just kind of kept going from there, and that just built up over time until, you know, the dialog became apparent that I lived with what I called a Plan D, and I didn't know that most people didn't have a Plan D, or live that way. For me, there was the normal Plans A through C that we all kind of have when destruction or chaos happens. But in my world, Plan D was always an option, and plan D was I can exit stage left whenever I want, and it is my choice, and I lived with that, with ideation that was always humming in the background.

Alex Ferrari 4:10
You know, that must be such a painful way to live. I mean, I mean I feel empathy for you. I'm feeling what you're saying right now and trying to put myself in your shoes, to constantly have that idea that chaos, that and so many people in this world are born into chaos, born into either chaotic environments, chaotic countries, chaotic communities, chaotic families. And how you deal with it is really up to you and your different flavor and your different traumas and how you how you walk through that. So thank you for sharing that, that that that definitely sets the stage. No pun intended, sets the stage.

Kelly Sammy 4:57
We have to laugh. I mean, come on, we got to have some fun in this right?

Alex Ferrari 5:00
That's exactly this kind of sets the stage for the next, the next act, if you will, or the last act that you thought that this was going to be. So what was the thing that made you say, hey, it's, it's time for me to leave this movie. I don't want to be here.

Kelly Sammy 5:18
So, you know, there were a lot of things going on in my life. I was an American who had picked up with a small child. He was 14 months old, my son, when we moved abroad to New Zealand, on this little tiny island, and I had just gone through a horrific, full blown hysterectomy and a divorce all at once, and part of the divorce agreement that I made with my ex husband was that New Zealand would be a really positive place to raise our son as a single mother, as a project manager by trade, and so finding work there with my ex husband being a New Zealander made sense, and I now look at it and think I was either insane or absolutely brave, or something bigger than I had a bigger plan, which we all know was likely the case, and off to New Zealand, I went and in that movement, With everything that was going on, it started to create the atmosphere of recognition that other people didn't live with a plan D, because I was starting to have some healthy experiences in life. I met a new partner who was also an American in New Zealand. He and I formed a relationship. Some healthy things started to happen and transpire for me, but as we often know, with depression, anxiety and trauma, if it's untreated, it will resurface, and that's absolutely what started to happen for me at that stage, I was really blessed to have a loving partner who also recognized that I was willing to talk about it, and I put on a brave face, I would just live life normally and happily, and then when everyone went to bed, I would climb in the shower and turn the shower on and sit on the ground and cry. And like you said, I have empathy for this one, because I'm not her anymore. Don't even know her, but I love her. I love what she went through. And so many people do live that way. They just don't have a name for it, like I did.

Alex Ferrari 7:32
You were saying, some good things were starting to happen, some positive things. You started have a healthy relationship. And yet, with all of that, this, this trauma, kind of rose back up. And it's a cycle that we all, I think, go through at one point or another, and some of us transition out of it faster than others, but if it's not familiar, it's scary, and the ego wants to either sabotage it to get it back to a place where I'm like, if I known abuse, if I've known trauma my entire life. I don't understand how to deal with a happy, healthy relationship. I have to either sabotage it or I have to do something to bring it back into my comfort zone. And that's it's it's sick to say it out loud, but it's the truth. We've all done it in one way, shape or form. Most of us, some of us transition out when we're teenagers. Some of us transition out when we're 80. Some of us, don't we have to go back and do it again.

Kelly Sammy 8:24
There we go. There we go.

Alex Ferrari 8:26
Yeah. So is that so that was, is that what was happening to you when you when it kind of led up to your near death experience?

Kelly Sammy 8:32
Yeah. So the the catalyst really, was, once I started getting healthy, I realized how absolutely unhealthy I was. The irony, the grand paradox, and so then confiding in a loving partner who could hold space for me, I started getting into counseling. That's where things got messy, because I was not someone who'd ever taken medication, and I'm very sensitive, and I'm not a drinker, and they immediately put me on antidepressants. And so this escalated everything, and I just kept showing back up and saying, I'm getting sicker. The ideation is louder. I was very honest. And they just kept adjusting, adjusting, adjusting. And then one day I went in and they went to adjust, and I heard in my internal dialog, we're done here, we're done here. That was the final straw. And from that moment, I stopped taking the medication and I started saving it.

Alex Ferrari 9:37
Yeah, wow, so that's okay. So, so you were actually in a better place before therapy, it sounds like almost, but the therapy brought up a lot of stuff that you had to deal with. Yes, and then, and then, of course, in the Western world, medicate, Medicaid. Medicate. Medicaid. Medicate, amplified everything for you to a point where you couldn't take it anymore.

Kelly Sammy 10:03
Yes, yes. And, you know, I told my partner at that stage that I was doing better. I started to be dishonest, because I saw how much it was breaking him, and I didn't want to hurt him or anyone else. And so again, in this sabotaging life is happening to me, place, I started looking out for everyone but myself. Yet again, which is another form of sabotaging, right? People pleasing. And I got deeper and deeper into it, until one day I woke up and I had enough stored, and I had a plan, and I had notes, and,

Alex Ferrari 10:42
Wow, it was a whole thing. Yeah, whole thing. So the day that it happens once you go down that road and you exit stage left, yes, what happened? Tell me.

Kelly Sammy 10:55
So I had taken myself to a remote place on the island where we lived, and I didn't have anything picked out. I just knew that this was the day, and this remote place was sitting on a bluff overlooking the beautiful ocean on this tiny island in New Zealand, and it was sunset, and I started to write the notes and take the alcohol and the medication. And the plan was that I would move to the back of the SUV and that I would lay down. And so things started percolating. I felt my body really getting dizzy and everything and not using drugs or alcohol. I just assumed that that's what was going on. But there was more going on. There were feelings going on in the body before I even went to get out of the car, thinking I could get out, maybe use the restroom and then get in the back, but I was so wobbly at that point, my legs were like wet noodles, and I opened the SUV to get out and instantly know we're way past this. So I climbed into the back of my SUV and I laid down, and at that moment, it's kind of funny, but it's not for the first time, after all these years of having this ideation and Plan D, the thought arose, well, how will you know when you're dead? And I had never contemplated that. And so the internal dialog was, I guess the breath will stop, so look for that. And I just stayed with a mantra, trusting God, knowing that there's something more beautiful than this. Was one of the things I kept saying over and over, as someone who was raised in Catholicism, I trusted in my relationship with God, and I said, he will be merciful. And I then just followed the breath. Are you still breathing? I kept asking internally, and as I did that, and I was just getting more and more relaxed and feeling this just tingling sensation moving through my body, I started to hear these popping sounds, and they just kept getting louder and louder, but they weren't like sound you and I hear out there. I was the sounds. I was the popping. I was the crackling. And I'd never had that experience before. So again, not being someone using drugs and alcohol, I assumed that's what was going on, and I just paid attention to it, is the only way I can explain it was fascinating. And as I paid attention to the popping and the crackling, I started to feel this, like pulling sensation in the SUV. And I didn't have a moon roof or anything in that SUV. It was an older model, but I was staring at the roof as I was, you know, feeling all of this and all of the sudden this last compression feeling came over me, and poof, I was out of the body above the SUV, looking down at the body, and there was just an awareness of that body, moving and very uncomfortable, going through some what looked like very miserable things, but I felt none of it. I didn't feel empathy, I didn't feel regret, I didn't feel shame, I didn't feel sadness. I didn't feel happy. I felt just flat, stoic and just an awareness of what was seeming to transpire, like I was watching a TV show of someone I didn't know.

Alex Ferrari 14:35
Interesting. All right, so what happened next?

Kelly Sammy 14:37
So as this popping and crackling went on again, time and space are so weird to talk about. I know you hear this over and over on this channel, but we do the best we can with an NDE to use language that makes sense. I just have this knowingness is the only way I can describe it that this felt. Familiar and safe and that I didn't need to try and go anywhere, just trust what was happening. And since there wasn't a drive to get back in the body, and there was no curiosity or thoughts about where to go, I don't know how much time I was there, but the next thing I knew, the popping and the crackling intensified again, the sensation of that upward pulling arose again. And then all of a sudden, there was this thrust, and I knew I wasn't a body. And all of a sudden, you know, burst into this darkness. I call it the void. Everything was black, and I was all of it. I wasn't something experiencing it. I was it. It was the most loving and beautiful experience I've ever had, and literally, the closest thing I can use to describe it to was the first time I held my son as a baby, and looked into his eyes, and I felt that love you just cannot recreate. And it was that, times a million, I felt held, I felt loved. Call it God, call it source, call it universe. I just knew that I was it. I wasn't a part of it. I wasn't trying to be near it. I was it. I was all of it. And this expansion like, you know, imagine a sardine that's been in a can, and that can's been rolled open, and all of a sudden, you know, this floppy, no body energy just expands beyond. And you know, the recollection is less about what was happening and more about almost the perimeter of it all just becoming open to me. I was space, and as I was feeling the love of all this and again, not understanding time and space, the popping and the crackling began again, and I just relaxed into the love of it. And the only thing I can describe is another kind of upward pull to a nobody. And I was thrust into the most beautiful pink I have ever seen, Alex and it, you know, I I consider myself a creative person. I've tried to recreate that pink. There's no color like it here, and I will just say it is the faintest, most baby soft pink. But I wasn't seeing it. I was it. I was the expression of it, knowing itself. There were these smells I liken to like a gardenia flower, very potent and powerful. But I wasn't smelling them. I was the smell and these choirs, you know, I for lack of better terms, and I truly believe it was angelic, you know, I was just it. It wasn't happening for me. I was all of it, and that continued again. I don't know how long, no time and space makes sense here, but I just had this again, almost an intuitive knowingness that something was beckoning me, for lack of better terms, and without being a body, without having thoughts yet feeling very familiar and calm, I just again, just trusted it, and the next thing I knew, I was with that. And for the first time, I had a visual in this experience that wasn't me, and that visual I just knew intuitively was Archangel Gabriel. And growing up Catholic and Catholicism, I do believe that our nd ease tend to bring forward things that we feel familiar with in the lifetime. So for me, Catholicism had a lot of beauty, and the angelic realm did, and I just trusted it, and I felt this beckoning. And so there were no words. I was still no body. And as it was moving ahead, I just was moving with it, and I didn't have to guide it. It just intuitively knew what to do, and the next thing I knew, I was in this space. I call it a tomb, or a cave, or, you know, like a mosque, and I was there, and this is often, I think, referred to as a life review. I don't necessarily call it that, because mine was very unique, just like my whole nd and that all around me, appearing, not being a body, not having thoughts, was. Just every expression that I had lived for 38 years. But I wasn't watching it. I was reliving it as it was happening. And it was almost like a high five for every experience. There was no that was bad, there was no this is karma. This is sin. It was just almost like celebration. You did that. Look at that, that's amazing, isn't that incredible? And so there was just joy in it, peacefulness.

Alex Ferrari 20:30
So was that something that you were just feeling, or is that something that you were there, others in the room, beings, or anything like that? What? How did that? How are you getting that communication?

Kelly Sammy 20:42
Yeah, I mean, it's really interesting, because we're linear beings, and we want to see it translated very linearly. But for me, since 2008 I'm still getting downloads. I had experiences with others in that space that I didn't recollect in that time that are still coming through, like my great grandfather, my uncles, who had transitioned ancestors from different timelines, light beings, Angels, archangels, ascended masters, Jesus, mother, Mary, it just went on and on and On. They appeared to me, but I was nobody, and no one needed to communicate. It was all just a knowing. Was just a knowing.

Alex Ferrari 21:28
Yeah, it's kind of like you were all you were all plugged into the cloud essentially

Kelly Sammy 21:32
Everything woke up yes, yes,

Alex Ferrari 21:35
Okay, so you're sitting there. Re experiencing everything that you experienced in your 38 years, were you feeling the because, from what I've heard, obviously, from the near death experiences I've spoken to is that there you feel both sides of a situation. So if there is a if I'm arguing with you, and, let's say I'm belittling you in a conversation, you would feel how I felt when I was doing it, but you would also feel how you felt as the receiver of it in these kind of environments. This quote, unquote life review, is that what you were feeling as well.

Kelly Sammy 22:13
Mine, again, was different, okay, for me, it was a complete recognition that I was both characters, there was no other so the idea of there being a grandfather or an angel or an archangel or an Ascended Master completely melted away in that review. What ended up happening in the expression of the story of Kelly, which is how I refer to myself now was that there were no others, and that the experiences that I appeared to have for the 38 years were just fragments of myself, knowing myself as source in all these Different ways in the play. I was the actor, the writer, the director, the cast. I was the one rolling the reels. I was the one clipping the edits. I was all of it. And so there was no need to feel what they were feeling, because as the expression of it was re translated to me, I was all of it. So it was more like an integration than a need to know what I did to them and what they did to me, to feel it I'd already been through that. Ultimately, that was the idea of duality that I didn't need anymore. It just fell away.

Alex Ferrari 23:38
So what happened next, after you're in this magical Plato's cave of Alex, The Allegory of the Cave, if you will, and you're seeing everything.

Kelly Sammy 23:46
Yes, great comparison, absolutely.

Alex Ferrari 23:50
So what's the next step?

Kelly Sammy 23:52
So you know, this went on again for, I have no idea how long, and the downloads still continue to come to this day of wow, that happened. Oh my gosh. I wish I knew all that you know six years ago, that would have been handy. I again had this knowingness that I wasn't staying and at the time, when I returned to my body, I thought that I just accepted that, but I later found out, I actually argued with it quite a bit. I resisted it quite a bit, which is interesting, on some level, there was some knowingness that I wanted to stay so I've heard a lot of NDErs say we have a choice and that it's our will. But as I just mentioned, duality fell away from me in the NDE, unlike other people, it wasn't reinforced. It actually unraveled. It wasn't completely known yet. So I just was still kind of going with the motion, and I had this familiar sense. That something else was coming in this Plato's cave, as you described it, and the next thing I knew, I saw a literal, physical being, unlike everything I had engaged with, that felt ethereal. This being was very human esque and walking towards me, and it was a young man. He felt super familiar to me, and I didn't know why, and so I just kind of was fascinated with that. And the movement kept coming towards me until it stopped right in front of me, and immediately I knew that it was my son as an adult, and at the time this was going on, he was still a very young child, and I knew that he was 21 years old, and he just said to me, Mom, I need you. You need to come back. We have many things yet to do together. Oh, that stuff gets me. It doesn't matter how many times I say that,

Alex Ferrari 26:00
Oh, it gets me. It gets me. He's not my son, yeah.

Kelly Sammy 26:05
So in that expression of that kind of moment again, I just knew and he literally like vaporized Archangel Gabriel, I felt that kind of positioning to follow and beckon. And there was like this ethereal movement going out, and I felt led by a choir of angels and light beings and just all of these ethereal things. And I just knew that I didn't get to stay. I didn't think that I was sad, like I said, I later found out that there was some negotiation going on, but the next thing I knew, I felt this kind of popping and crackling starting to happen again, and a downward pull now and then there was like this knowingness to look back at the the the fleet that had just escorted me energetically to this space, and I heard the message, your only role is to breathe and not resist. The rest is taken care of. And like that, popping, crackling sensation and back thrust into the darkness. Don't know how long I was able to stay resting in God's palm there, but it was beautiful and loving, and then more popping and crackling. And the next thing I know, I'm surrounded by ambulance workers trying to put oxygen on me and all kinds of stuff, and we're on this little, tiny island. So a helicopter was there to Air flight me to the closest hospital, which was on the main island of Auckland, and they're trying to work on me, and I'm trying to pull everything off because I'm in complete euphoria and bliss. I'm trying to tell them how amazing and beautiful life is, and they think I'm fighting with them to die. So it was this battle in this little helicopter, and I'm just like, I just want to tell them, I don't know if you've ever been in a helicopter, it's very loud and chaotic on a good day. Yeah, they're trying to put stuff on, cut my clothes off, and I'm just like, a baddie woman. All they cared about was getting oxygen on me and getting me to the hospital at that point.

Alex Ferrari 28:25
Yeah, wow, wow. All right, so before we, before we continue with the aftermath, I just want to go back into the near death experience for a second. When you when your son shows up, is very profound, obviously, and that was what you needed to see, is probably the only thing that would have shaken you, shook in you, and to a certain extent, maybe something, maybe Jesus, who knows? But that really was what you needed at that moment, to go. You need to come back. You didn't have it. You didn't make a choice. You said, you just automatically, just the second he said that you were you were coming back,

Kelly Sammy 29:03
It was known. It was known, and there was no argument with it, like I said in that moment, until later, I found out that there was but you're absolutely right. I think the connection with that life source seeming as another, recognizing it was an aspect of me that still needed. Me was the thing that I obviously needed, and it was obviously part of my NDE story that needed to be scripted and played out.

Alex Ferrari 29:36
So you said that there wasn't an argument, but then you realized there was an argument, what other elements have you started to recollect about that near death experience that you just told me that these downloads that you've been getting

Kelly Sammy 29:47
Before leaving the body, there were apparently several options. Again, we are very tied to time and space. So in the. Landscape of this conversation, it would seem that that happened prior to the NDE, but when I had the recollection on the other side, what I saw were there were many avenues of how that could have played out. And one of those was that, like I had a sure plan, and something interrupted that. So it was going to happen, period. It was going to happen. It was it was part of the story of Kelly that needed to play out absolutely.

Alex Ferrari 30:27
So then, what are the things have you recollected from the from the NDE that you didn't remember at the time, that you've gotten later?

Kelly Sammy 30:36
Lots of what I call engagements with Jesus, mother, Mary, angels. The biggest one was realizing nature's critters and beasts. Nature, trees, everything's alive. This glass is alive. This water is alive. All of this is alive. And so that recollection came so profoundly. It was scary for a while, because everything that my life had been built on was all of a sudden seen as a complete lie. And so that was the hardest part, the reintegration and the stabilization after my nd. And so those downloads became soothing for me because I didn't have anyone to talk to, and yet I had this whole dynamic on the other side now, like a cheerleading team saying, you've got this. And this is when I met my birth guide Bernadette in the emergency room after my nde because the doctors came in and they asked me the most hilarious question, are you seeing or hearing anything that you shouldn't be I know. Isn't that ironic? What do they wait to hear from on that one, I wonder. But you know, immediately, sitting on the end of the cot in my in the ER, I saw a physical female. She looked of Indian descent, and I just knew to trust her. And she said, Don't tell them. They'll lock you up. You've got to trust us here. And in that moment, I didn't trust but I knew that I had taken alcohol and drugs, and I'm like, if you've damaged your brain, you need some time to process this. They're going to lock you up just be still for a little longer. So there was enough internal guidance that I trusted that, and Bernadette became, literally my guide to get me back on some kind of normalcy after this with the integration

Alex Ferrari 32:48
So she but she wasn't real in this world, or was she?

Kelly Sammy 32:53
No, she's actually what we refer to as a spirit guide.

Alex Ferrari 32:57
Okay, okay, so she was a spirit guide, but she was very clear to you. She appeared to you. You could actually truly see her after your nde,

Kelly Sammy 33:05
Oh yes, I felt her. I had expressions of actually physically hugging her, being held by her for the first year, she was so close to me, and that was part of our sole agreement, was that she would help me navigate this again, this idea that we have free will fell away for me and I, you know, and I kept echoing, your only role is to breathe and not resist. The rest is taken care of. How could that be true unless it was already predetermined? And that upsets a lot of people, because so many people are tied to that free will. But for me, that duality fell away, and the idea that I was the one scripting this fell away. It was free. Freeing. For me, it was liberating.

Alex Ferrari 33:53
One thing in regards to free will, and this is the way, this is my take on it, and I love to hear your thoughts on it. A lot of people, the egos of a lot of people, get really caught up with the whole I can do. I have control all this kind of stuff. To my understanding from doing the work that I've done, is that when we are on the other side, we do have a soul blueprint, or a soul contract of some sort, that when we come into this incarnation, we want to learn certain things, go through certain things, and so on. And there are mile markers along the path. Those mile markers are not changeable. They're they're in cement. They're in the ground. That's it. How you get to those mile markers is where you have the freedom. And that makes a little bit more sense, as I'm saying it when you were in your Plato's cave, slash, life review. Everyone's like, look at what you did. Good for you. Look at that. That's the in between, the mile marker moments, at least in my interpretation of that. Because, if not, if it's all predetermined, 110% what the hell's the kind of almost? What the hell's the point? If. There's not a little bit of wiggle room to truly make a choice to go somewhere else and see where that road goes, and see where that road goes, and see where that road goes. It's kind of like when you're driving on a in a motorcycle or on a bicycle, and you're on a trail, you're like, Well, I can keep going on this one that's paved, but that one that's not paved seems a little bit more interesting, and we're still going to the mile marker, but I'm just going to take a detour, and sometimes we'll go a little too far. What do you think about that? Just you're I'm just curious your thoughts on it.

Kelly Sammy 35:28
I think exactly what you just said. It's all thoughts, and none of them are true. So once I recognized that, I realized I didn't need any of those storylines there. There wasn't the need to believe there's hierarchy or free will or identification with a process or even a soul plan. It's just this moment is the only one that has ever happened. What are you looking at? You're caught in a delusion and a distraction. Now tie that back to what you said for the first 38 years, I would have agreed with you, but post my NDE, the big part of this integration for me was recognizing that I'm more of a mindset of a non dualist or an Advaita ist, because I don't see this as something separate from anything else. I am a molecule. I am an atom. I am vibrating. This is two. It's all alive. I'm part of that. And people say, yeah, yeah, yeah, I get oneness. And I say, No, you don't, because you just minimized all that you are. You say, yeah, yeah, I get oneness, but you've already missed the mark, because you're not, you're not moving from the state of your awareness, which is, I am, God, I am all of this as are you. We are one. We are one. Vibrational energy and all these little aspects or bike trails. They're just thoughts playing on a screen, and I'm just the one watching them like an avatar through goggles.

Alex Ferrari 37:10
You're the observer. You're the observer,

Kelly Sammy 37:13
And literally, the witness and the observer.

Alex Ferrari 37:16
So when you when you said that your spirit guide had a soul agreement with you. What is that? How is that different from a soul plan? Just curious.

Kelly Sammy 37:24
So once I started recognizing the human humor of even using the word soul, which kind of formulates this idea of a separate something, then I realized there's only one soul. There's one source of all of this, it's not my soul or Bernadette soul. It is the hum and the beat of all of this. Where we get caught up is when we start to think, I am that separate soul. I am that separate plan. And then we're out of the state of our understanding, and now we're in drama, story and chaos. As long as I stay in the state of knowing my truth. I'm the creator and the writer of all of this, and I get the magnificence of all of it, but the intimacy that I feel with the human condition now is so much more sweet and gentle and understanding and compassionate, because I remember the 38 years of thinking I was responsible. Yeah,

Alex Ferrari 38:22
One part of and we're gonna, I want to get to the aftermath in a minute. But one part that was very interesting that you said about your story is that I was raised a Catholic as well, so I'm very familiar with everything that you're talking about. You said that when you were planning this exit stage left, that you felt very comfortable that you know God was going to be merciful, and all that which is the absolute opposite of everything we're taught in Catholicism. So how did you so how? I'm just curious where you got that from, or is it just a story that you told yourself to get through what you were attempting to do? Because it's actually it's extremely frowned upon in society in general, but it is a mortal, quote, unquote sin in the Catholic religion.

Kelly Sammy 39:15
So Alex, you know what's interesting is, prior to my nd, I was always intuitive. I was always drawn to the mysticism of Catholicism Mother Mary, Padre Pio, Stations of the Cross. So as a young girl, that's how I stabilized myself in the religion, because I always knew it was dogma. I always felt a rigidness that didn't feel right with my own relationship with God, my own internal knowingness always said God would never speak to his child that way. So I think that that intuitiveness guided me in the expression. But I think storytelling. Absolutely conditioned the brain that my ideation was going to be seen through, and I'm going to help support you through it. So you could kind of say the devil was on one shoulder and God was on the other, and something in between was just saying, trust your breath

Alex Ferrari 40:16
Got you, got you. One very important question I want to ask you, and I ask this of a lot of Near Death Experiences. After you have gone through this experience already, you have processed this already for a few years now, I'm sure you've thought about this and dealt with this in your mind and just really processed everything that's happened, downloads, spiritual aspects all of it. The question is, why do you think you needed to go through this in this life? What was the purpose of because not everyone has to exit stage left in any way, whether it's an accident, whether it's on purpose, or any of that stuff, not everyone needs a near death experience. Most people don't have near death experiences. Why do you think you needed to go through a near death experience in this life? Because you've mentioned it a couple times, like this was going to happen. This was part of the plan. This is part of what I needed to do in order to tell the rest of Kelly's story. Why do you think from a spiritual perspective, looking at it from a bird's eye view, this needed to happen to you in this life.

Kelly Sammy 41:22
To know this level of joy I now get to celebrate. I live 38 years as a miserable person who felt like life was constantly pulling her into the undertow and happening to me. On the other side of this, all I can see is life happening for me. It's it's like the red carpet of joy was laid out now, does that mean everything's easy and I don't have suffering, and that I move through life now without having human emotion? Not at all. What's happened is an integration of an awareness that I'm not the one going through, that on the wind, witnessing it. And so now there's like this compassion to hold this one and just say you're doing a great job. Like my my review, you know, supporting her and saying, Come on, baby girl, you can get through this. You know you're okay. This is joy. It's happening for you. So the car accident is here to spare you from something worse down the road. And this was just a bumper, you know, a rear bumper hit maybe, if that didn't happen up the road, something else might have happened in the expression of being in the physical body, duality is very real, right? But in the reality of our awareness. I'm not that. I'm the one watching it and thinking I'm experiencing it. So it's just constantly kind of checking in with myself and saying, What state are you in? Who are you believing yourself to be in this moment? And it always brings me right back to, what state Am I in love, joy. It's happening for me. Perfect. Even this I would normally call a bad thing is happening for me. Let's see where it takes us. Joy. It brought me back to Joy.

Alex Ferrari 43:14
So after you're in the hospital, you haven't been thrown into the loony bin because you've kept your mouth shut, which is good.

Kelly Sammy 43:21
Well, they kept me for 24 hours in the infectious unit disease,

Alex Ferrari 43:25
Just in case. Yes, of course, of course. But so you, you've escaped the hospital. You're you're healthy again. What was the processing of this like? How long did it take you to integrate it? How long did it take you to deal with the people around you, which obviously you are a different human being, so psychologically, you're going to have to deal with law now, loss of friends, loss of people who who don't recognize you anymore and are not comfortable with you anymore, because you're talking about this crazy stuff, like joy and and, you know, seeing the other side, and you're talking to Jesus and mother, Mary. I mean, now you obviously say things like that publicly, but this journey out of the near death experience, or after the near death spears, there is a, there's an acclimation point, like you're, you're gonna get the bends, if you will. If you've gone deep diving, you're going to get the bends if you come up too fast. How did it go for you?

Kelly Sammy 44:23
I did what most other nd ears do. I chase the Dragon for a while, is what I call it. I wanted to recreate my nd, but I definitely would meditate. I spent a lot more time trying to understand what had happened to me. I went into the mental analysis paralysis, trying to get my hand on any book I could to understand. And the integration was slow, very arduous and chaotic, with an undertow of bliss and joy throughout the whole process. Process. It was like a constant pulling. And, you know, it's like a snake shedding its skin. And you can look back and see the skin that's come off, and be very proud of that, and yet, remember the pain it took, you know, for that skin to be shed. Like you said, I lost my partnership. I just didn't identify with him anymore. I lost.

Alex Ferrari 45:23
Is this the second the second man?

Kelly Sammy 45:27
Yes, yeah. We had been together for almost five years, and I just I wasn't the same person. I didn't speak the same, dress, the same my taste food, the way I spoke. Everything had changed, and we became so close and connected. He's remarried, and you know, he's a beautiful man with a beautiful family who supported me through this. But we just we were two different people, and even my own sister, who was back in the United States, said, you don't even sound like yourself, like you don't talk like you used to. Your language is different. My looks have completely changed. The integration is a very, very challenging one, and it's not for the weak of heart. The amount of dark nights of the soul, where you continue to unravel and shed that old costume, that old mask, it doesn't happen one and done. It's like a layer of an onion. A piece of it falls away, and you think, Oh, thank goodness. And then it comes back up, and you deepen it again, and it falls away. It's continuously looking at my state and the moment of thoughts. It's a breath by breath experience.

Alex Ferrari 46:48
And how did you deal with the outside world, this reality that your new reality that you've, you know, losing friends, losing family, losing your spouse. I mean, this has to be this has to break you and at least to deal with it. At least it must. It must have been difficult.

Kelly Sammy 47:06
As you're saying that it's making me cry because I have no it's okay. I just I I'll love up on her later, because what she's been through and what she's driven me through, because she's my car. She's my way of getting to experience this. And I love her dearly, but she has been through it. And you know, compassion is the most important part of this, because there are very few who relate to this, and even the end of years that I meet on the panels that I'm on, I get this sense of home sickness. I tell people that I love this life. I love getting to be human and have all of these experiences, because as source, I would never have known what it felt like to have arms, to hug someone, to feel warmth, to love someone, to have all these expressions, if I'm all of it. You know, coming into this idea of incarnation gives me the experience and the ability to express myself through all of these modalities of loving means knowing what it's like to not have love and to know more lightness, I accept that that means I'm willing to go deeper into darkness. Because, again, I am not saying there isn't duality in the 3d I'm just saying that there's an awareness here that I can either watch it and become pulled under the outer toe, or continuously recognize the state of I'm watching the under toe, and what a joy it is to do so

Alex Ferrari 48:48
So I'm going to ask this question, but I think I already know the answer. Do you have any fear of death anymore?

Kelly Sammy 48:54
I welcome it, and that scares people. I have to have this conversation with my now adult son all the time. I know that he no longer worries about this being something that I would ever do or attempt to do again. But I have a homesickness that comes up and stirs when I'm in certain experiences, like around other nd ears, and I just say it's like a homing pigeon, saying we're here. We're here, you know, and just always knowing that. And even in the human expression of grief, I lost my father recently, my dog, who was my best friend, literally my soulmate in this lifetime, again, makes me cry that grief is hers. It's very real. So compassion is so important to me, not only for the expression of Kelly, but every aspect of others, meeting you and seeing you touched by empathy for me makes me love you, because you're me and I'm you, and this exp. Expression of it is so joyful that even the suffering of that grief is part of that joy

Alex Ferrari 50:07
Is there. Is there any words of comfort for anyone who has lost someone, a loved one, or someone who is close to the end of their time here, any words of comfort that you can give them that sense that you have danced on the other side a little bit and came back,

Kelly Sammy 50:25
Yeah, I will be honest. There's not a word I can give you that will give you comfort. However, if you lead into your heart and you ask it, what Kelly just said, Does that feel true in my heart? Where did I feel that? Where did it land in my body? And I feel, like many people watching this will go, I don't know that I bought on to everything that she said, because some of it feels like a concept to me, but something within me, it rings true. Trust that, and that will start the process of opening your heart more and more to recognizing death. Is not the end of this chapter, you guys, this, this is not the real thing, where we expand to our truest part of ourselves never ends, and it's okay to be afraid of death. In fact, go there. Soak in that fear, because that's your invitation to going on the other side of it. Stop trying to avoid the fear. Rest in it. Ask it what it wants to tell you, what are you afraid of? And then listen, but not from here. Listen from here. That'll start opening things up for you.

Alex Ferrari 51:48
You mentioned that you had some angels and some Ascended Masters, Mother Mary Jesus. I used, I always joke that Jesus is the hardest working man in show business. Is that everybody's not for everybody's he's always at someone's near death experience. He's always working. And it's fascinating people. Isn't that amazing? And the funny thing is, because a lot of people, when I say that, they're like, Well, how can he be at everyone's near death experience at the same time? I'm like, Do you think he's got like, an assistant that said, like, you've got to be at Kelly's at three o'clock. But there's also 500 other ones going on right now over here, and there's another 5000 like, he's not running around, he's not Santa, he's not visiting every house in one night. He could be everywhere at once, and that's the thing that that is on the other side. I've heard from many people that you're you can be anywhere all at once, and multiple versions of yourself, multiple timelines, multiple everything. But, yeah, but when you were speaking to the the busiest man in show business, what? What kind of interactions did you have with these masters? What do you remember anything of detail that

Kelly Sammy 53:05
Absolutely yeah, for me, mine have all always led me back to the love of myself, my true divine nature. They never lead me to. You know, I say birth guy, Bernadette, right? All gods must die. There's only one true master here, and we're a part of it. So each of these expressions has shown up as a guide for me. But there's also an internal knowing that that's also part of God, part of source. So how can Jesus be everywhere? Because he's just an internal play running in the dialog of the human being that's never been separate from you at all. Why there's a consistency that there's tunnels and things in these ndS that we all kind of feel there's some relatable piece to because there's no separation. Now this is where I get frustrated with people on this spiritual road, and so hopefully this will start something in your followers. If you say oneness, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're already off the mark. You're already off of it. Your mental capacity has gone to something mystical. Mine didn't I kept being pulled back to myself. Jesus would arise, but Jesus wouldn't come to say, Follow me. He kept turning me back to the love that I am. He kept holding up a mirror, which is what a father would do. God, my father, source of all, would keep showing me my face. If you look at any of the biblical chapters or any of the religions, they all say the same thing. We just misinterpret the show. Mm. So I'm not caught up in some story that Bernadette is this thing and God is that, and Jesus is this, and I might get caught in it, but I know at the end of the day, it's just to show me my own reflection of love, over and over and over. Look at your face. Who are you? What state are you seeing this from.

Alex Ferrari 55:19
What you just said is so powerful, and I think it's a message that is missing in today's spiritual path, which is that the power is within you, that everything runs right back to you. This is exactly what Jesus said. The Kingdom of Heaven is within you. Everything I can do you could do it more. It's it's basic, it's simple, so simple. It's just so simple and elegant and brilliant. But there's so much distraction on on the spiritual path in general. There's a lot of distraction. That's what this environment is for. There's distractions all over the place, you know, and more so now than there ever has been, at least that we know of, you know, we're not all just sitting in a jungle somewhere, you know, in a hut trying to figure out what we're going to eat tomorrow. There are some experiences like that in the world. But we have Netflix. We have, you know, we have food scrolls, Doom scroll, Doom scroll, like it's constant, all over the place. So there's distractions all over the place. And I've started to realize that in the spiritual path, there's distractions as well, whether it be some comet that's coming by that's going to change everything, or that there's this thing or that thing or this thing, it needs to be simplified, and you need to look within. But the problem is, with most people is when they look within, it's scary, because they have to see themselves, and they have to see all of themselves. You went through that. You saw all of yourself. You saw you experienced all the negative stuff in those first 38 years, and then you opened up to the other side of it. And now you embrace both sides of you, which I'm assuming at this time in your life. You're still have both sides in you. You have things that you have to work on, things you have to look at, things that you might not want to look at, but you embrace and but you have compassion for that. Does that make sense?

Kelly Sammy 57:17
Yes, and it's why I say to people again, your followers, My followers. Who's ever watching this? If you're following a teacher or a guru or a master, and they're guiding you towards something else and away from you, run as fast as you can. I tell anyone who follows my channel. I'm not a teacher, I'm not a guru. I don't have books, I don't have anything to sell you. I can only share my journey with you, but the only thing I want from you is love. I just want to recognize you as you are. It's that simple, so I guess what I'm saying is, earnestness seems to be the only thing I can say that feels like it's my responsibility. And I'll say a little more to that, because I think it's really important. Like anyone else, at the end of the day, I have the option to turn Netflix on or be here, and there's something now within me, and it's not always easy. There are days where I just go, I'd really just like to numb out. I'd like to be I'd like to be human. I'd like to go back to the life that this work wasn't part of my calling, or, you know this drive wasn't here, and I know everyone on this path will say that, but you can't go back, because enough of this is unraveled now that there is an internal calling home within each of us, and that earnestness just seems to grab a hold, and at some stage, the momentum shifts where you're not the one picking the meditation over the Netflix, and all of a sudden, how did I get here in meditation? I thought I was going to watch a Netflix, and you don't even recognize it happened, because the earnestness just takes over it, that robotic knowingness, that there's more fulfillment here than there is out there. And to me, my relationships are far more intimate and fulfilling now, because I fill that cup first. But absolutely there's a restlessness inside of us, the ego wants to keep pulling us into the game,

Alex Ferrari 59:40
And that's the thing we are in a game. This is a game, and it's it's a cyclical game. There's going to be ups and there's going to be downs, there's going to be birth, there's going to be death. It's just part of the rules of this matrix, if you will. Yes, it is. It's just the rules of it. So my feeling is that I come from. Film industry, and I'm a storyteller by nature, so there are aspects of that that makes sense to me, meaning that you find inspiration, you find love, you find good energy with great great storytelling, and great storytelling can change you. It can definitely guide you and push you in the right path, depending on what and that's a good book, that's a good movie, that's a good song, that's part of this tapestry of our experience, but when it's used in inappropriately, sometimes like food. You know, food is nourishing and it's supposed to heal you, and it's supposed to take care of you, but when you do it in the different kind of ways, it can hurt you. And same thing with anything else we intake. Same thing with news, if you want to have that kind of energy coming into your world, all that kind of stuff. So Kelly, it has been such a joy talking to you. I I applaud your your courage for telling your story so publicly, so for so long, and sharing your story with people and sharing it with us. I know you don't do this too often on shows, so I do appreciate that you came on the show to share this, and I truly do hope that this conversation helps somebody else on their journey to understand understand things about themselves and shine some light in their in their life. So where can people find out more about you and the work that you're doing in the world?

Kelly Sammy 1:01:25
Yeah, thank you, Alex. I mean, I just feel blessed to be here. I mean, you have an amazing following of obviously really inquisitive, smart, intellectual people who are curious, just that natural curiosity, regardless of what your content is and I think that we reach the people we're meant to. You know, something is going to land in someone's heart today, or they live with ideation themselves. So I have my own business now. It's called nurture your soul. I do a lot of work with folks who are either departing or have lost someone, I do work with being a soul guide to walk people through if they'd like to understand non duality and Advaita. I'm not a teacher. I'm not a mystic. I don't have special things to give to you, but I can perhaps give you some insight from a bigger, wider view from what I've been through, and help guide you along that way. So nurture your soul. Is my way of doing that. I have a YouTube and an Instagram, and people can get a hold of me there.

Alex Ferrari 1:02:36
Kelly, it has been an honor speaking to you and thank you again for your courage and your ability to tell this story so beautifully, and I do truly hope it helps people awake, and I appreciate you helping people awaken around the world. So thank you again, so much for being here.

Kelly Sammy 1:02:54
Thank you, Alex. I really, truly feel blessed, and I thank you so so much. You're actually one of the sweetest interviewers I've ever worked with. Just I love your delicate nature, and I love that you're open, and I also love that you inserted some things that are your perspectives, because I think that's important. You can't have this journey until it's experiential, right? You can have a knowingness of it. You can read a book and say that makes sense, but until you've had the experiential journey, it's just a nugget of information that's more thoughts. So thank you.