Atheist Shocked: I Had an NDE & All My Fears Were Gone! with Jose Hernandez

Jose Hernandez 0:00
You're messed up. So even my family was telling me man, you're so different. I never talked about that I never talked about creator now I'm talking about all that stuff

Alex Ferrari 0:19
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Now today on the show, I get to sit down and talk to Jose Hernandez, whose near death experience is one of the most unique stories I have heard on this show. So without any further ado, let's dive in. I'd like to welcome to the show, Jose Hernandez, how're you doing?

Jose Hernandez 1:09
I'm good. Thank you for having me on the show Alex.

Alex Ferrari 1:11
Thank you so much for coming on the show my friend i i saw your story of your near death experience. And we've had a handful of people who've had near death experiences on the show before and it's it is a popular topic, a lot of people like to, to hear these stories and also just see the differences in between them, see the things that are like and see the things are different. But they're very the stories are very moving in yours was extremely moving specifically. And I wanted to bring you on the show. So let's let's just jump in. Can you tell the audience a little bit about yourself? And what happened? That's got you to the place where you had your near death experience?

Jose Hernandez 1:50
Yeah, yeah. So I grew up in the South Bronx, very difficult neighborhood. And, you know, being Latino, and all that we had these, these visions of what a man should be or what he should look like. And so I grew up in an environment where my father was teaching us how to survive in his mind, right? Just so I could justify the behavior, right? drank a lot. And his life was a little more complicated, because he was his, his, his mother is indigenous. So he was kind of like, wanted always to disguise that part of him, he thought it wasn't going to help him moving forward. So you know, he had that challenge. And then the language barrier coming in from Puerto Rico to live in New York, and the language is decidedly different. And he didn't know it. So there were a lot of challenges. So I grew up in that environment. Complex community, trying to figure out how to get out of the hood, right? Like, like all of us, right? I was a little lucky, I was taken into a program that was a college bound program, and they won the one school.

I studied engineering. And kind of got out of the hood, right. But I was living in a world where we were taught to be very competitive. And that was what men do, you compete, you climb the ladder, you know. And then there was this thing of acquisition of stocks. And this philosophy that everything belongs to me, so is my house, my car, my wife, my kids, everything's mine. And so I was living that life. And I thought that was what was expected of me. You know, I thought I was, I was good. I'm doing the right thing. I'm on the right track. And we're getting ready to kind of get into this, this this deal that we were putting together South Florida. And I decided to go and run electrical lines for a while to that came through. So that was supposed to happen in April. I went back to running electrical lines in October. What happened was a very simple thing. We were it was Wednesday night. You could imagine tomorrow's Thanksgiving. I'm looking forward to that for the weekend. You got Black Friday, we got a lot of stuff going on. And the issue I'm having is that we're running late. And it's it starts getting it's gonna get dark soon, but we got to finish it. So I'm up on the bucket. And what we decided to do to save time was this had this luck is going up and down, you kind of managed from one point to the other. And anyway, wasn't the brightest idea. So nothing exotic happened. I didn't get electrocuted or anything. But the driver was looking up, making sure that he didn't fry me. And he kind of bumped into a tree. And I hit the side of the bucket, and I broke all the ribs on my right side. So the whole scientists for my ribs broke. go to hospital, of course. And they take you off, they give you this medication. And they gave me medication that because of the ribs and everything are broken, they wanted to give me something that had an anti inflammatory component in it. So they gave me a painkiller that had ibuprofen. Now I take the pill in the hospital, send me home, I go home. And I'm finding it very difficult to breathe. And I'm like, man, you know, let me call up. So I called them up. And I spoke with the ER guy, and he says, I You're all ticked off, you can't take a deep breath anyway. So you're okay. You know, it's, it's just that. So I said, alright, you know, and being science minded myself, I said, well, they know what they're talking about, right? So I continued to take this medication. am I breathing slowly started to get worse and worse and worse. And ultimately, what happens is I get past the holidays. As New Year's and this was an interesting new year's, because it was that y2k thing where they thought everything was going to collapse, and everything's went crazy. And there was like a visual, right? Let's see what happens first, when it hits midnight, all the way over there first. Anyway, I got past all that. And I just got to the point where I couldn't breathe at all. And it was January 5. And I had my wife and my son take me to the hospital. And I went to the ER, and I went into the put me in a room. They decided they were going to keep me. So I said to my wife and said, you guys go home, I'm gonna be okay. There's nothing to worry about. Right? It's just a little whatever. Anyway, they hooked up some IVs. And the nurse said to me, you know, Jose, if you need any help with that little button that buy a bed and and I'll come in and check it. Anyway, she leaves the room. And I remember looking at the clock, and it's like 12:31 o'clock in the morning now. I'm saying I'm not gonna push that button. I'm a guy. Just tough guy, right? Boy no matter what. So don't worry about it. But the reason I'm saying that to myself is because I'm actually thinking of pushing that button because it's so hard to breathe. So I'm trying to kind of like make myself feel like everything's okay. I'll pretend everything's fine. And wait about 45 minutes, and I can't barely breathe. And I said, You know what, I think I better push this. Push that button. And it took about one minute for that nurse to come into that room. But that meant it felt like forever. And she opened the door and she just looked at me. And she just hit that cool blue button on a wall. Now in my mind, I'm saying Could she just hit that wall, and then he'll call blue Code Blue. And all of a sudden, there's a bunch of people running into it. I can't breathe at all. So I can't get air out. I can't get air in. So I'm going to explain to you what I felt. So the first feeling that I had, if you can believe was shame. And I became felt the shame simply because when they moved into that room, they just stripped me down, they took the shoe off of me and I will try to hang on to it. And I was so ashamed that they stripped me down like that, and I was helpless and I couldn't stop it. And they take this piece of board and they slip it onto you and they put you on top of this board and and anyway, there's all this stuff going on. But I'm kinda like in my own space. Right? Kinda like not understanding what they're doing. They're trying to they got this thing on you and they're squeezing and tryna force air into your lungs. And while they're doing all that I'm thinking, you know? What if this is real? Right? What if this is real? And I started thinking about my family. And I'm saying, I'm not going to see them again.

And I felt this knot in my chest, like, emotionally, and it was like, I was dying, thinking that I will never see them again. And what was worse was that they wouldn't get a chance to see me, I wouldn't be able to say anything. I couldn't talk anywhere, because I couldn't breathe. But in your head that's not relevant. You're like, if they get here, I'll be able to talk, I'll be able to say goodbye or whatever, right? But anyway, and I also realized that it was almost two o'clock in the morning, and there's no way they're going to be able to get here in time. So I, I started to freefall, emotionally, and crash. And I became incredibly fearful. Now, understanding that I grew up in the South Bronx and how I grew up, we were not allowed to show fear. We were not allowed to cry. Right? So I am so scared here. Because I'm thinking, what if this is real? And then I just want somebody to hold my hand. And that's what I want. Just hold my hand. I don't care who does? And I wanted to ask someone, but then my head got in the way, right. And I'm thinking, all right. My father had died five years before. And he's going to turn in his grave if he sees that I'm showing these people fear.

Wow, that was my thought, man, I was like, it went in show fear. It went deep. Dude, it went to the point where I just my body actually stiffen and I say, Wow, I'm not going to show fear. And I, I still wanted somebody to hold my hand because I felt so alone, other rooms full of people, but I felt so alone. And then I started thinking, I didn't believe in God, I was very science minded, very math minded, right. And I had a conflict. My mother was Catholic, and my father was indigenous. My mother said, Go find God in church, my father said, look out the window. God is everywhere, right? And God would be greater. But anyway, so I kind of chose a path of science. So I was really struggling with that issue. And now I'm finding myself at this point, where what if something happens to you? This is really, what am I going to hang this hat or that? I don't believe in life after death, I don't even know what's going to happen to that. Fear that I felt that that moment was incredibly competitive. And I started asking myself, well, what if God is real? What if God is real? And if God is real, maybe you could get me out of this mess.

Alex Ferrari 13:26
Because you always find God when, when the fit. It's the Shan. And when things are going, Well, Jesus doesn't show up when you're living. You're living the life.

Jose Hernandez 13:35
Exactly, exactly. So check this out. So I'm like, God, if You're real, I promise. I'm going to change I'm going to be a better person. I'm going to be a good man. I'm going to be whatever, right? So I was almost like bargaining, of course. And then I waited. I said, Alright, let's see if there's an intervention. Meantime, these guys are really struggling to keep me going. I can't breathe at all the my heart becomes very regular. So imagine that pumping with all these drugs. Get me to breathe and my heart is racing and what happens is that it reaches a moment where my heart just felt like a horse was galloping crazy and then the next thing I know is if feel your heart stuck, and then to kind of like validate that that just happened. You hear the thing that was what BBB BBB BBB meaning just go be. And the thing is that I was totally conscious and aware and I'm saying that just didn't happen. And my response was, I became angry at God And I said, I knew you weren't real, what was I doing just fooling myself. And then I looked at the door, the doorway, which was right in front of me. And it was just so bright man.

And there was a shadow there. And in my mind, I'm thinking, like an engineer, I'm gonna get turned off like a light switch, and I'm gonna turn to nothing. Just blackness, then I started to, you know, that macho Latino stuff came back, right? And I'm, I'm like, I'm not quitting. I'm not giving up. There's no shame in this, right? All the things I was taught, I can't quit, I can't stop. By fall down, I gotta get up. And I just was right there. And I told myself, I'm not quitting. I'm not giving up. But there's nothing I could do to change this outcome.So Alex, I just said to myself, You know what? It's okay to die. And I started thinking how difficult my life had been. And I said, it was a hard life, I did the best I could, right. And it's okay to be the kind of player the minute that thought goes through my mind, that shadow and to zoom in, it reaches up. So to me, it's perfectly clear. While that's happening, I hear the IV drips. And sounds like water splashing out a tin roof, you know, when you're in the island and yet, like rain hitting a tin roof, and then I looked at the wall, and the wallpaper had to see the grain in it. Now, I was curious about that. Incredibly enough, despite everything that was happening. I'm like, wow, what is this? My focus was on the shadow. And as the shadow moved in, she kind of reached out, it felt like a feminine energy to me, she kind of reached out. And she touched me. And the minute she touched me, I became like, galvanized. I felt so well. I felt so unsafe, I felt so you know, better than ever, no pain. And I felt this breeze in the sense of peace and love and calm. And I got this wind blowing. In my head. I'm thinking I got this long hairs blown in the wind. And, you know, you get crazy visions.

So I feel like I'm being lifted. And the next thing I know, I'm standing on you, this is what really changed my life. This moment, when I saw myself in the bank, and these guys were trying to save my life so that that Crash Team was Bob how they're doing everything they can to save. And I said to myself, That's me. And I'm dead. And then I asked this question, and this is the question that changed my life. If that's me, then who am I? That question. Every day, I ask who am I? Because I know I'm not this temporary. And so I asked that question and I hear this voice my left side. She says to me, visualize yourself as a car. Set that that car has 5 million miles on it right? Now you guys see, buddy, buddy. And I'm thinking, I just said goodbye life. I gotta say goodbye, my body. And Alex, I think something magical happened. I looked at my body. And for the first time in my life, I had so much gratitude for that vessel. And the thought was that body sacrifice itself for me. It gave everything it had for me and it just didn't have anything left. And then I started having these memories. And I call them benign memories because they weren't like, you know, we think about these dramatic moments in our life and that's what we're going to remember. That's not what I remember. I remember holding my little brother's hand ups. Taking a breath of air and sunrise, the wind the bird singing I remember looking at my kids eyes when they were little, how they looked at me with so much love and how they depend on you so much, right? And what I realized at that moment was that I had that every moment of my life. And I never rarely did I get into that moment and yeah, I got my guys here, my chairs and, and love that moment, feel that breath. Feel that warm sun on my skin. And here I am understanding the value of life, and it's too late. I'm understanding that I have all these things and they're all free. They don't come with any cost, any hopes nothing. And I was worried about buying another car, getting a better coffee machine getting you know, all these crazy things. And I'm like, What was I doing? But it made me love what happened. And that for everybody out there, this is really important. I always was never happy with what was that was never good enough. No matter what. And that made my life difficult. And now looking at my body and seeing how perfect that body had been the first time. Amen. Feeling all this gratitude for it and love it it was the second moment where I just changed. I hear the voice say to me, okay, now we gotta we gotta go. And I start walking together. And I kind of fall through this hole, this black hole, I call it the tunnel. And I feel like something being ripped off and uncomfortable. Get to the bottom, she said now we got to keep going, I keep pulling the same thing happens again. And when I get to the bottom of that, I find myself in a bull color all around, like 360 You know, I think Imagine you're in the center of a basketball and everything around you is color, and it's moving and it's fine. And it's talking to me million voices. And that voice that bought me there says to me what you felt was all the painful moments in your life being taken away from you can't come into this place with any negativity, anything that makes you feel bad. And I understood that I was just being kinda like purified anyway, I feel the color moving towards me or I'm moving towards the color I don't know which but the sense is that the color welcomes me the way I am it doesn't judge me in any way. I just feel so good. You know, so appreciate it. So like welcome then. So like a part of it. I really belong here. And finally I get in the color and I become a car and it feels like a man in blue. And I hear these voices and I'm not a painter but it was telling me how to paint me like a blueprint you got to paint like this you the thought with this, you got to do that you're going to do that and give me a blueprint. And then I come out on the other side and I see this beautiful nightclub in New York City you know, forest and mountains last thing I would imagine that was going to be what I encountered and then these herds of animals roaming around running free and it was so beautiful. And I got a thought I remember my chairs and I said what's going to happen to my kids and the voice said to me not to worry I proceed next thought was flying. And then the voice said that's normally and then I started moving exploring in my mind as I got near a tree what was interesting about it was I had this experience of oneness right? What I mean was that if I got near a tree I became that tree I could feel it taking nutrients from the ground. I could feel the heartbeat it was the living being like me. Got near bird the same thing if I got near least the same thing, even the air atmosphere I could see living I got to experience all these things, even Iraq. And it taught me that everything was one. Everything was interconnected. What I think doesn't have life is just as full of the same life I am, it's made out of the same things. And as I'm kind of like integrating that, I see these mountains in front of me, and I see the snowpack. And it was so galvanizing that I wanted to go out there and see what that was like. So I started heading up in that direction, I get up there, and I go over it. And I could see a mountain top and snow, it was like being in an airplane just flying over a mountaintop. And it was so beautiful and so peaceful. And then I look to my right. And I see the sun and the sun. I don't know if it's studying or rising. But I'm looking at it as if I'm looking to a telescope. And I can see the solar flares coming out of it. And it's so beautiful. And I can feel that warm breeze. And I'm thinking to myself, Oh, this is where the warm breeze is coming from. And that's what's given me left. That's this is why the fly here. And I look to my left. When I look to the left, there's a cove. It's like a U shaped beach. And I see a man. And he's holding six children in a line on his right hand and one on the left. And they're about knee deep in the water. For some reason, I said, let me go down and check that up. Right. So I go down. And it's hard to gauge time and distance. There is really no time the way we understand it here.

So I felt like I had been there for a day and a half. And now I'm only dead for five minutes. And in this world. Anyway, as I get close, I'm about 10 15 feet away, maybe a man turns around. And he looks at me. And Alex, that was my father and I looked at my dad and I said man I'm gonna do when I'm dead. Wood I couldn't do what my father got me back here. And all that stuff my my dad had this real image of being a man was like we can't hope we don't say we love each other as we don't. We don't we don't have that kind of relationship. Right? We don't you know, we were even who hands you only little, you know, that was what your mother your mother does. So I never hugged my dad. And I never, ever said to my father I loved him. Thing is I don't remember him telling me that either. So I look better and angry. And when he died. It was so difficult for me because everything that I'm feeling right now that I'm talking about. I couldn't tell it to him anymore. That chance was lost that moment. But now here I was. And now the moment was here. I looked at my dad, and we're talking but not like I'm talking to you. It was hard to just hear him in my head. He could hear me in his head. And he said to me all these things that I could never imagine. I was so proud of you when you graduated. I'm so proud of you when you went to college. I'm so proud of you. I love do all these things that I thought were not there. And then I hugged my father for the first time and anytime that I remember what happened when I hugged my dad is I became him. Just like what happened with the trees and everything else. And I lived his life in an instant. And I knew what he had been why he was to where he was and I knew I felt It wasn't so much about me forgiving him and forgiving when it happened. It was more about me forgiving. And understanding how important forgiving yourself just stop judging yourself so harshly, being so cruel, making yourself feel bad. And then he looked at me. And he said to me, you know, they got to go back I like it here. Now, I always find a contrast between that because when I was alive it was about being alive. I didn't want to die. Down here. Now, I gotta, he's asking me to go back. And I'm like, No, man, no one would have this debate. And it's like, you got to go back. I'm like, no, no, no. Then I feel like this talk right here, right? But truly coming from my back. And I stay back in my body and open my eyes and the doctors doing when I open my eyes, kind of just jump back like that. And then I was back with my father.

Alex Ferrari 31:28
To kind of do like a jump back, like a quick look.

Jose Hernandez 31:30
Yeah, I think it surprised her like that I opened my eyes. Right? And when I'm back with my dad, he's kind of like, No, man, you have to go back. You don't understand what I said. I do understand. I don't want to go back. Anyway, my father was always making deals. And he looked at me and he said, You know what? We're going to make a deal. Right? And I said, Okay, what's the deal? I said, here's the deal. I promise, you go back to your time comments. And I'll bring you home anyway, for some reason, I thought that was such a good deal. Right? I'm like, Man, that's a great deal. How could I not take this? I said, Okay, that sounds like a good deal. And that was like, so that took again, pull back in my body. And then two things happen right away. My first thought was, am I such a bad person? That heaven just kicked me out. Right? Well, my first thought, and then I felt this isolation. I felt like I was inside this body again. And I felt like I was separate from everything. When I was over there, I was part of everything. Now I just feel a separation. I'm back on the body. Everything's not connected to me anymore. And I crashed. And I was wondering, why did I take this deal? What it? What did I just do? And I did another journey. You know, put down a journey of was this real? Did I actually see my father. And that was complicated, because when I got better, and I was able to speak now I was in the hospital for three months. or eight months, I was to intubate. Three to six weeks, I mean, and when they finally got it out, and I can find the speech, I got my cardiologist in the room and I said to the guy, that's a simple thing, man. People believe this. I thought I said was, I think I went somewhere. I just looked and he said, No way. You had your brain is still alive for two minutes after your heart stops. You had Danti you had all these drugs. Were giving you literally old finish. And I was saying if he's right, right, you know why? Because everything I believe was destroyed when I died. So everything I believe in science and all that. That wasn't the answer. No, there was something more that was created. It was something that was it. Now he's kind of making me question that again.

And Whilst I was in that situation in that critical care unit for that time, every time they hit a full blue, because my prognosis was, you're not going to make it out of your life, take care of your stops, take care your affairs. I was worried that I was going to happen, that would be me against me. And so what I did was I went back to that bull side, all those columns, where I felt completely unchallenged, and so welcomed. And so like, you're on here. And I found peace. And that was my go to my escape code will I mean that over over course. Anyway, finally the hospital. And because of what the doctor said, they are mentally ill. Now I'm also addicted to multiple medications. And the thing is really the hospital they gave me all these meds, but they never tell you that detainees. I think I'm addicted. I'm just experiencing this withdrawal and whatever, you know, like, so I have to take this medication and keep my heart rate down. And you know, it would I would get these anxiety attacks and take the pill, and take my anxiety and reduce my heart rate. But then instead of taking it every four hours, it was every three, then every two. And then, you know, it was I would take it in an hour late. I'm already experiencing all these anxiety. My buddy said give me more. Anyway, took me a long time to get off of it three years, I want to get mental health. I had to decide whether that experience is real or not, Alex, and that's not easy. That easy, because a lot of people in this world will tell them, you know, you messed up. So even my family was telling me man, you're so different. I never talked about that. I never talked about creator now. I'm talking about all that stuff. And they're like, man, something happened to you, you must stop. Right? Even my kid, sometimes to this day will say where's the old joke? I'm like, Man, I'm thinking I'm a better version. I'm more spiritual I, you know, I write I'm open to a lot of things. But that turned out to be a very difficult part of my life. So I finally went to several mental health professionals. First thing that happened, they were able to get me on some drugs. So you're always on that road to recovery, some. I'm off the drugs and been off for about 17 years. But I had to make peace with whether that happened or not. Was it real? Was it a dream. I finally am seeing with this mental health professional. And this woman is an amazing person. Now the other people helped me to get off drugs and everything. So they, they they were amazing in their own way. But this, this young woman sat down and looked at me. She did something that changed my life. She sat next to me, she took my hand. And I take the minute she took my hand, I was in a hospital bed scared praying that someone would take my hand or that I would reach out.

And what I thought was being courageous and being tough. I realized at that moment that I was powered, and I was so free to just do something so simple as someone to help me. And it's okay to ask someone to help. So anyway, shook my hand. And I was back in their hospital bed.

And for the first time in my life, I told someone and I'd had fun somewhere that that was my experience. But I just said to you that right? Imagine you're living with your family. And you can't talk to them about it.

So you never told your family about to, like death a full story at that point.

No, wow. No. And, and they already think something's wrong with you. And you're not sure yourself. And I'm saying if I tell them this, they're gonna commit me. Right? Right. They're gonna lock me up and say, you know, it's, it's very common for people that have this type of experience to not speak about it. And I don't know if that's something that happens physically in your brain or something. So people that get PTSD that have both a lot of trauma, want to talk about it, but somebody shuts it down. I think I might have been experiencing that. But anyway, she liberated me and then she said to me, once we're here She explained to me that if you're over there all the time, you're going to meditate. And you're going to lose that experience. And if you're here all the time, you're going to lose the experience because you don't lose, you've just forget, you know, make make pretend that there wasn't real. So on that day, I decided that this was real, that I had that experience. And there was nothing wrong with it. It was not to be ashamed of that it was a good thing. And it changed my life in a good way. It made me think about other people very differently, it made me think about my family very differently. It made me think about what's relevant, what matters. Made me think about what I own and don't own. And why it's important to share. You know, because it's not mine. So everything that I have here, in my mind is a loan from God or the creator. And something that we they use while we're here. And it's not something that we ever claim and take with us. So I learned to look at two simple things. Appreciate that sunrise, sound of the rain, wind, the sun, the voice of people, I love the sound, the way they look, I try to visualize them and hold that image forever. If I could take it with me, then that's the only thing we could take the memories that we made sure, the good ones because the bad ones get taken away from us. I would move west. So that's what we need to do to make good memories. Something that I know I could take with me, because

Alex Ferrari 42:02
I take it in here in Silicon that you can take with you.

Jose Hernandez 42:06
Yes. And understanding that, imagine that. When we're made, we have a tank, and that tank is filled with loves God or the creator, whatever you believe, says, leave that here. That's for you to leave here. And that's my goal to leave that here. I don't want to go back to what a half tank full. I want to go back empty, I want to leave with all that love and whatever I have here. And I think that's what we all are meant to do.

Alex Ferrari 42:48
You know, let me let me ask you, Jose, you know, there's, there's so many parts of your story that, as you were saying, it touched me, in deep ways, the appreciation for your body. So many of us beat ourselves up over how we look or how we don't look or you know, all these kind of just the negative monkey brain in our head that are the voice, it's always beating us up and just just making it difficult for us as a general statement to walk through this earth. That was very powerful to me. I think that there's so much fear in living in everybody. And many people, most people I would say, are afraid of truly living who they are being who they are living their true selves. What advice do you have for people who are afraid to follow that dream to follow that purpose that they're here to do? Because so many people get that nine to five, to make a living, but they're not living? They're just literally dying little by little. And it seems to me that you from, from what I've read about your story, you've embraced the living part of actually living and not afraid of doing new things and going after what you believe is your purpose here in life. So what advice do you have for people in regards to that?

Jose Hernandez 44:20
Yeah, I mean, that's a good question. I mean, any advice is, is really going to be relatively simple, but I think we just have to understand that when I was dying, I was regretting a lot of things. Right. A lot of what I read read it was what I didn't do. And I should have done. Maybe tell someone I forgive you know, so there's people out there that are struggling sometimes with siblings like I did. And we were arguing about some crazy ridiculous thing and we hadn't talked for a couple of years. And here you are. In a bad your day in St. Man you're gonna think that I got here or something I don't. So I think one of the first things you do is you need to kind of really think about what's important in your life. So what matters? Is it my kids, is it my job is it one and pay attention to it. And the way you start to pay attention to that is to start paying attention to yourself, because we're afraid to love. Because we worry about being hurt, but we're also afraid of being lost. And often, we don't know how to respond to being loved. So the way I grew up, it was to be very stiff, very hard, very, like, I don't reciprocate, because this is the way with a man supposed to be. So a lot of it is what we teach. And we got to get past that. So, you know, I, I, what I like to do, sometimes it's just look at myself in the mirror. Because I know, when I used to look at myself in the mirror, before I died, I was so ugly. I was putting myself down and beating myself up. And I look in the mirror, and I look at myself and I say thank you. Because this body is gonna let me go to the store, it's gonna let me go do this with that person is gonna let me you know, listen to this music, it's gonna it's going to be that conduit for everything. And I'm going to love and appreciate it and tell myself that I am everlasting love. And that's what I want to protect. Yeah, I got hurt. Somebody cheated on me, they did that and all this happen, then yeah, but that doesn't mean I stopped loving.

Someone, there'll be some. And maybe it's not a person, maybe it's, it's, whatever it is, you have something to give. And don't be afraid to tell people what you feel. If someone told me I need to give somebody a hug, give it to them. Because I don't know in that moment. I may not have time. And I may not be able to pick up a phone and say, Hey, by the way, I'm going to check out I love you. Right. So make sure that you're always aware of those things. And you're always checking them off. And you know, if you if you think of somebody that you haven't thought of in a while, man, give him a call. Hey, how I thought about your life with that and get into the moment. You know, wait, wait, there's a lot of yoga, there's a lot of prep work. There's all this stuff going on. Right? I don't think people really understand what it's like not to be able to take a breath. We take that soul for granted. And when I couldn't breathe it just changed that. It made me appreciate that simple. Do it 20 times a minute. We don't think about it. And then when I couldn't do it it made me appreciate who we are some my body that it just wild and I just did that. And it filled me with air made me feel good. It filled me with life. And I think we need to get more into that moment. I think we need to get into a space where we sit with ourselves and we're real you know? I like this kind of music. Listen to it. If you want an ice cream eat it let me ask you Buse anything right? Of course don't deny yourself. You know.

Alex Ferrari 49:31
So when you travel if you're lucky enough to travel Italy, don't worry about the carbs.

Jose Hernandez 49:36
Exactly. If you're gonna go to anything, you're worried about it, you're going to put yourself in a box. Right? Right. Yes. And a lot of the richness Now remember what you're gonna take back what you it might be the memory of when you bite into that.

Alex Ferrari 49:52
Oh, I've got to get chills. I used to chills thinking about it.

Jose Hernandez 49:56
And all those flavors in the aromas that comes from it.

Alex Ferrari 50:00
You're like, oh, man, just sitting sitting at a cafe right in front of the Colosseum in Rome. And you have a nice fresh pizza a slice of pizza from if you're from a local cafe, can you imagine? And then there's there's people going, but the carbs. Okay? Right? So that's the thing. So it's about enjoying every moment and being in the moment. Exactly. And not living in the past or in the or in the future. Now as much we spend our lives there, right, we don't spend our lives in the moment we spend our lives thinking about things that we have no control over in our in our memories and thinking about the future, which is basically our imagination. Right? And we never live here where we're actually because this is the only that's the only thing we have is right now, this moment that I'm talking to us, the only thing I have right now, I don't have 10 minutes from now, I don't know exactly.

Jose Hernandez 50:57
And this moment is eternal. Right? This is all we ever have this moment right now. Right? And we move, whether you think we move forward, you know, we think time is an hour that moves forward. And when we go back in time, the moves back well, however, you want to see that all we have is this one moment, from the incident we're born to the moment we move, we're only in this space.

Alex Ferrari 51:22
So let me ask you, so many of us walk around, walk around the Earth lost, trying to figure out why we're here, and the connection of what the purpose is for our life. So many of us think we have no purpose here. And I am a true believer of that everybody's here for a reason. You have a mission in this life, some big missions, quote, unquote, some small missions, quote, unquote, but you have a mission. And you have to connect to that mission. And then when you do connect to that mission, that purpose, life becomes easier. Things become more more enjoyable blocks or doorways that were locked before swing wide open. When you're on purpose in your life. Do you have any suggestions, anything from your experience that can help guide us in how to find that purpose in our lives?

Jose Hernandez 52:22
Yeah, I mean, the first thing I have a practice and what I teach people is really to understand the value that they're relevant that they're important and that they are someone and they have a story. They have their story. Right? Right, we all have a story and purpose is not to live in tomorrow. And not to live in the past can't change the past. And I don't know what tomorrow looks like. I could think maybe what it looks like right? I could imagine it but you know, I can say in an hour I'm going to be here you're going to do something in two hours I gotta go do this in two hours. But that's what we think we're going to be doing. What we're going to be doing what we know for sure is that we're right in this moment and that's what I want you to really focus on feeling what you feel inside one day and feel the warmth sign your skin feel a cold when it's cold that that your body talk to you listen to it they'll take your suit and shoes often feel the grass the soil Mother Earth now look at the mortar and just feel that power let yourself go in the moment and you're going to find that you're at a crossroad so every moment of my life I am at a point where I can make choices. And I could say I'm gonna go left or I'm gonna go right I'm going to go up those days I'm going to go down we're always at that crossroads can always change your life in a good way. I wake up in the middle of the night say well I'm gonna do this what I'm gonna do that in a day, we could decide that at any moment. So our future is always filled with possibility. Always feel potential always feel the opportunity to be present with you That's what you're talking about doors open things happen. You know, there's a lot of magical things happening in my life even having this conversation where you are, right? Nobody plans this. These things happen. How do they happen? There's something magical, something that is is way ahead of us. And to me that creator, it could be time it could be bought whatever you believe it. It could even be science and math for those that believe in that, right. But something is making all these teams kind of work separate, but together at the same time, and then we reach out and we're doing the show. And I'll go out and I might be helping somebody. get on a bus that's struggling a little bit working. There. I plan it No. But that's just being in that moment. And that's what life is about. Forget about, yes, I want to be okay, I don't want to worry about my bills. I don't want to bet about those things. Those are normal. But you can't live there. 24/7. When you get out of work, you're at work. Be with the people you wish. Be with your family, if you don't be like, part of us at work. Oh god, I gotta do this tomorrow. i Oh, my god, how am I gonna get that done? Or, you know what, leave that for tomorrow. Because tomorrow will come. That's one thing, I guarantee you, no matter what we do, moments ahead of us, we're always going to get there. So why worry about it? When I get there? You know, I'm back at work. Now. Let me figure out how many. But when I'm with my family, let me enjoy my babies. Let me enjoy my wife, let me enjoy my husband, let me enjoy my partner, whatever that may be. Let me enjoy my room, or I want to read this book, let me read this book. I want to see this movie, watch the movie. And that you're going to find is going to empower you. Because it's going to make you believe by a human you the moment we begin to believe in us, II, I'm just gonna say this, it may sound very spiritual, but we're all creators. I get up and I make breakfast. I just made breakfast I created it. Right. And that chicken created that egg for me. But now I'm finding it and I'm doing this where I'm scrambling. And I'm adding the spices and I'm making it this way. We're always creating everyone. So that means that we have an opportunity to shape and mold that by thinking oh, I'm going on 10 years, yeah, thinking little steps right now. My expectation is I could be here somewhere else and a few years, but I'm not going to worry about that. I will take care of itself. I'm just going to worry about right now what I'm doing and enjoy it and live in that moment. You know, I can't imagine how many people go outside in the spring or summer like we're in now and they don't feel a warm sun. It's just feel so nice. And you know, when it's cold up in Canada when it gets cold, you feel that preschool? It just wakes you up. Oh, yeah. Right. And I just think people you know, they don't get that because they think in order to get in my car and I gotta get over that I gotta clean the snow off. And it's about all that and not about what am I experiencing right now? What do you experience when you're with someone you love? Just holding their hand. Think about what that feels like this is because when I was dying I wanted somebody to hold my hand so and because somebody said to me, that potential fear did Take somebody's hand and it made my desk that much harder. And that's simply a simple thing, that simple act and that's what I'm telling you to live. That's what you that's what life is not about having 10 houses and 20 cars. If Creator gives you that guy give you that That's great. But you're not going to take none of that with you do what you do take with us that moment that you held that hand felting not that you held it, where you realized you were feeling? Because that's the memory that's going to go with you.

Yeah, oh, bad things happen, I lost my job, those memories, and I'm going to go with my girlfriend left me, my boyfriend, you know, all of that is going to come off. But those little moments that we have to share, you know, even when you look at yourself, look at yourself in the mirror and look at yourself and say, beautiful. So you're not fat nose, you're not fat. No. We can always change those things. They are power. Strong. God gave us this ability to make things. And one of the things we make is every moment in front of us. I can make my time visible and say, I happen to me and I, I'll be thinking about it for 24 hours. If I want. I can say, oh, that happened to me. But I learned a little from it. Now I know, I'm not gonna do that again. And then we keep going forward.

Alex Ferrari 1:01:30
Jose, this conversation has been absolutely wonderful. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. And again, it's touched me in some very deep ways. Can you please tell people where they can find out more about you your workshops, your art and what you do?

Jose Hernandez 1:01:47
Yeah, if you go to innerimmersion.com innerimmersion.com You'll be able to see the art some of the workshops that I do. Where the focus is mindfulness, right being in the moment being in the right now. Focus is Who Am I? How relevant Am I Am I important to add value and purpose last about purpose. And it's a very powerful workshop and it changes lives in a good way. It's art based. No, and you find the magic of art in car to meet color. This piece behind me is called strands. So it speaks to that. I'll never get lost when I move on. To something is holding me back. Something takes me home, right? I can't get lost. So but that is living to me. That's the change that I came back with. I appreciate everything. I look at a stone it's not a stone. Why? And if I'm going to move that stone I say stone is it okay for me to move. My little girl wants to she likes to save some of these stones from everywhere we go. And she likes to replace it with a sea so she a seashell. Because we lived in Florida so long she had so many, we always ask permission. And I bring you a quick note. And it may sound mundane. But that little changes your life because it makes you appreciate every moment, the next moment that you have a special moment after that a special moment that comes after a special, every moment is special. Everything we do special. Every person we see every person we touch. And that's what the practice speaks to. So I use it a lot of rehab centers and stuff like that it's getting a lot of traction because it's helping people to find who they are. And that's the question that I always ask myself, What am I? If I'm not this, what am I? Who am I? And that means I am magical and I'm spiritual and I am so much more. And so are you to be one of you know.

Alex Ferrari 1:04:22
I'm gonna ask you two questions ask all my guests. What is your mission in this life?

Jose Hernandez 1:04:28
My mission right now is to serve. What I mean by that is very different. And if I could change someone's life in a good way value spiritually it's something you can't match. So the same way that woman held my hand mental function and made me feel it was okay. Thank you tell my story, it's okay. If she thinks I'm crazy, okay? But those little moments are the magic that we have to use. The words that you tell someone can change their life forever. Power. So understand what I'm saying about who you are this power and so my goal is to help people to understand they have that. And that if I say something to you very negative, I can make you feel very bad.

Or if I say something choose to stay positive I can make the choice that I make, the choices that you make. And my goal is to help people to try to make better choices. So the practices engineer to help you to understand who you are. And if you understand who you are, then I can understand why I don't understand every one of you are because we're all more alike. Not all do the same thing. We all need to be loved. No one else is gonna want to be happy. Peace and harmony. Okay, the drama. You always get past the junk.

Alex Ferrari 1:06:29
Now, what is the ultimate purpose of life? In your opinion?

Jose Hernandez 1:06:35
Well, that's a great question Alex and I, I'm just gonna say this to live in. This is a chance where I get to touch and feel. And I could touch things in a good way or I could touch. When I was in the other side, on the other side, everything I touched, I became that so I really couldn't touch it, the lack and my senses. On the other side, we're one with everything. And I feel like that I was part of everything. When I came back in my body, I saw this isolation, I feel like I mean here, and everything is outside of me. But that's a special magical moment to be in here. Watch the feed to see to love. I mean, look at the magic that the body does.

Alex Ferrari 1:07:37
Every second of every day.

Jose Hernandez 1:07:38
Yeah, every second, you know, and then appreciate. And what I mean by that, you know what, I appreciate my car, it takes me everywhere I want to go. He doesn't complain. I just gotta give it a little gas give a little maintenance. And that's where we need to be. We need to appreciate we need to love one another. You know the world right now to me, it's kind of like pulling in a lot of different directions. Right? And it's all fear. We're afraid of what of losing something that we don't I don't own land. I don't own a house. I don't own the clock. I don't own this clothes. I don't own anything. I only have my life. Back to your question. I own this life. This is what Max. And then what feeds this life are the memories that that's what I store. That's what I take.

Alex Ferrari 1:08:48
It's beautiful. My friend. Jose, thank you so much for coming on the show and sharing your story with with me and with everybody listening. I hope it does help people have a better understanding of why we're here and what they can do to make their journey through this life a little bit easier, a little bit more peaceful, a little bit happier. And to realize what truly is important in this life. And not to worry, as they say, those were the small stuff.

Jose Hernandez 1:09:20
And you know what? I want to thank you for doing what you're doing.

Alex Ferrari 1:09:24
Thank you appreciate that.

Jose Hernandez 1:09:26
It's important that you know, there's a lot of like negativity. And it's nice to see someone that's thinking about bad things, trying and showing the world that you know why? There are a lot of good things out there. There are a lot of good things people that aren't beautiful you know just that memory of sitting in by the Colosseum having that pizza makes your mouth water right?

Alex Ferrari 1:09:51
Oh my god, I'm I'm there in my head or I've never been to Rome, but I'm there in my head already. And I'm like I have to make that that right there. I have to make happen in mind.

Jose Hernandez 1:10:02
That good feeling is what you hold on to.

Alex Ferrari 1:10:04
Right! You know what, before we go, there was one thing that my friend of mine long time ago, she said to me, she said, when you die, you don't worry about your bills, you don't worry about the pain, you don't worry about the bad things in life. You remember the vacations with your family, you remember on those experiences, is that's what you take with you. You take those experiences with you, you don't take about you don't worry, you don't take the writing the checks or the bill or, or worrying about money or worrying about why this person did that to me or why you're angry. You don't take that with you take the experiences of of enjoying yourself, spending time with loved ones. That is what you take with you. That is the only baggage you are allowed to take. Because there are no u hauls attached to horses. There's not a lot of not a lot of U hauls in the cemetery, as they say, but the what you can take is those experiences those memories.

Jose Hernandez 1:11:04
So you tell everybody, take a lot of those bags which you met and take as many of those bags as you could take. Fill them up, take 100 Because you keep those memories, yes, 10 years long with you. And it ties you to the people you love. You don't ever disconnect from them. Right? It's that connection, that we don't we don't lose that you don't want to lose that connection. What we love here, you know, and we love so many things we come up with all right, how we love so many things, our car, they become more than a thing.

Alex Ferrari 1:11:44
Right! It's what they mean to you. That's what they meant.

Jose Hernandez 1:11:47
Those. That's what we're talking about here.

Alex Ferrari 1:11:50
Thank you, my friend again for your time. I appreciate you and thank you for the work that you're doing in the world. It's much needed.

Jose Hernandez 1:11:56
I appreciate your time. Thank you guys for the opportunity. And I send many blessings out to everybody out there. You need to reach out, go to our website. Alex, thank you for this opportunity.