Baptist Has NDE & Discovered There’s No Religion on the Other Side with Jennifer Farmer

Alex Ferrari 0:00
So what happened the day you died?

Jennifer Farmer 0:01
It had been a long weekend of no sleep.

Alex Ferrari 0:05
Ohh so you were partying.

Jennifer Farmer 0:08
It didn't feel like days, but it felt like eternity. They found me on the front lawn. My brother had to revive me. I remember having feeling that love, that love, what we call love. It's love beyond supernatural in many ways. And I felt the presence of God.

Alex Ferrari 0:29
When you look back at your Southern Baptist roots, and I mean, a lot of it was trauma and dogma and fear

Jennifer Farmer 0:37
It's a spiritual abuse.

Alex Ferrari 0:38
Now, before we jump into this episode, if this conversation resonates with you, please like subscribe and share this with whoever you feel that needs to hear it. Your support helps us keep bringing this information out into the world and helps us awaken this planet. Thank you. I like to welcome to the show JenniferFarmer, how you doing Jennifer?

Jennifer Farmer 1:16
Hey, Alex. I'm so glad to be here.

Alex Ferrari 1:16
Thank you for making the trip down to Next Level Soul Studios, I appreciate you.

Jennifer Farmer 1:22
Thank you, beautiful space. Love it feels great.

Alex Ferrari 1:25
Thank you so much. It's a very interesting space. For sure, a lot of interesting people have sat in your chair

Jennifer Farmer 1:30
A lot of woo, woo people and the spiritual people and open minded people, plus, I love it!

Alex Ferrari 1:35
Absolutely. So your your story is interesting because you are, you died?

Jennifer Farmer 1:41
I did.

Alex Ferrari 1:42
You died and you came back. So so as let's kind of walk up to the moment of right before you you passed. What was your life like? Right like all this time where you raised spiritually? Were you raised religiously?

Jennifer Farmer 1:55
Oh, Alex, you go straight for it. Okay, so I was raised Southern Baptist. And you know the fear of God, oh, you know, from a spiritual place, that's all I knew. You know, that's it. You're you're not good enough, so you better beg, and you're only going to do it this way, and if you make one false move, yeah, so nobody ever talked about the spirit world. You're either in heaven or hell,

Alex Ferrari 2:22
That's it, maybe purgatory, depending if,

Jennifer Farmer 2:25
Depending if you're Catholic. But I didn't Catholics. We weren't supposed to talk about Catholic

Alex Ferrari 2:28
You know, it's so funny that, I mean, I like, I've talked comedians like I was Catholic, and I went down to the south and told them I was Catholic, but I thought we were all in the same team. Like, no, no, no, no, Christian very differently,

Jennifer Farmer 2:33
No. It's very interesting, because we had Catholic friends, but nobody talked about it. They go, you know, we go to dinner with them, and they go, Jennifer, they're Catholic. Don't ask what church they go to, like, so when I would drive by the church and I would see this sort of Catholic churches are beautiful. They're one of I love Catholic churches because they're beautiful and they have reverence and they have discipline. And for me, that's what makes me feel grounded to have a, you know, for so always was like, What's wrong with this world, you know? Or what's wrong with my parents, really? But my parents did. They are awesome people, but the best they could Exactly. And, but it was a, you know, Southern Baptist here, you know. And if you were Pentecostal, we had Pentecostal people too in the family. And so, you know, they spoke in tongues. But nobody, I mean, I would go and they say, Oh, your uncle, he speaks in tongues. And I'm like, wonder what that means, you know. And for some reason they got in because they were family, you know. So it was, it was a I had an eclectic Of course, there's a church on every corner in Texas.

Alex Ferrari 3:46
Oh yes, I know just driving here, you'll pass 20. Yeah, it's insane

Jennifer Farmer 3:53
When I tell people that they're like, No, and I'm literally where I live, there's five churches within 10 blocks. Oh, easily, right. So for me, I grew up in the space you go to church, and so, you know, I had, my dad was a, he was a periodic alcoholic. He would do a lot of binge drinking. And so at that time, you know, what was going on with me, before that, I was like, Is this my life? You know, that is this what it's supposed to be like? And I wanted my dad to get sober, and so I would do a lot of praying, you know, help dad. And I remember one time he went to church. Oh, it's hilarious. I could see him. He was so uptight and he was sweating and, you know, and I know he was going there for my mom, but it's that my dad and I were very close, and what was going on before my before I died, is a lot of a lot of badness. I had been experimenting with drugs and alcohol and going my own rebellious path.

Alex Ferrari 4:56
So you were already rebelling against the programming against.

Jennifer Farmer 5:00
Oh yeah, oh yeah. And I didn't want to be alcoholic, you know, it was like my dad does that. So I'll experiment with other things. And, you know, after a long week of weekend of partying, I had these great moments, though, when I was experimenting, or I would look up at the sky and I would know that I wasn't alone. It was even though I was doing, per se, what you're not supposed to do. There was nights I would felt very austistic. You know, I would have this moment where I'd be like, I know there's something bigger than this than where we are. I know we weren't born to suffer. I know we weren't created to be bad. I don't understand it. So I had those moments where, those lucid moments where I would be sort of coming to from a long weekend of partying, and I would be like, I know there's something better. I know there's something deeper. And you know what I'm thinking is going to work, is not working. And I would have those moments where I would just, you know, is this it? There were some moments to I was, I remember this very momentarily my I was living with my dad at the time, and living with my dad was quite fun. It was 1942 in our household, so every time we came in, he'd have his and I think about this now with with joy, because I love my dad, but it's also the effects of PTSD. And so his truck driver friends would be there playing dominoes, and it would be 1942 in my house.

Alex Ferrari 6:35
And so what do you mean by that? Like the music?

Jennifer Farmer 6:38
No, like fire, and they would be talking about the war. And they would, you know, you would hear this re recreation of the war in my house and and then they, depending on how drunk things got, you know, and then by the end of the day, that everybody would just pass out. But when I was living in that space, even God came into me, in that space where you would think that there was no God and just suffering. And what was I remember that this was when I was thinking about coming. I remember one time I had this knowing that I was going to live forever and I didn't want to lose that it I was one morning, I was getting up, and it was four or five o'clock in the morning, and I just heard this, Jennifer, you're gonna live forever. There's no death. And in all that mess, how come it came at that moment, it was so profound, I wrote it on sticky notes and put it in my house. And my uncle, who was? I love my uncle. I'm forgiving. But anyway, my uncle's my uncle, and he would say, you're not, what is this? Have you lost your mind? You're hanging out with the wrong people. And I'd be like, and it said, I'm going to live forever. And he would go, and he would rip those, rip those things down. I like, no. So I know for me, even though I grew up religious, and there were things I loved about it, community, being a part of you know, and there was some things that terrified me about that, but I always had a yearning that that was I knew that my path was spiritual in nature. Now I saw spirits when I was little, I had zero clue who they were. They scared me, and I just didn't ever talk. About It, you know. So for me, even though I had a few spiritual or awakening experiences, I didn't really talk about it, and so I sort of internalized them. They didn't scare me as fact as what they were, but nobody else was talking about this stuff, so I didn't want to be different. And so going, you know, right, right, when I, you know, I had a near death experience, it was another profound I mean, there are milestones I believe in if you're meant to walk a spiritual path of love and service and be a healer in some way. I do believe that there are milestones along the way, that when that time comes to walk through the door to really take authority over yourself and what you believe, I believe you can look back and see where there were little openings or chance meetings where you'd meet someone. And I'll never forget this. I was talking to this guy, and I didn't even know this about myself, and what, lo and behold, he shows me, you know, you're not supposed to talk to mediums. I'm like, why is he talking to me about this? I don't know what this is, right? So I can look back where it's kind of like, and I'm going to say God, but God sort of opened the door for me that I was going to be different in my beliefs and in my understanding and and that. But for me, I didn't come to the willingness to have courage for those beliefs until I had a lot of suffering.

Alex Ferrari 9:48
Well, let me ask you a question, why do you believe that you chose to come into that family, that community, if you knew this is the path that you were going to eventually

Jennifer Farmer 9:58
So I haven't. Interesting life. I was adopted at birth. My family never told me I was adopted till I was 18. I always knew that I belong. I knew I knew things always add up and always knew there were secrets. So I feel like my soul chose that family because it gave because of my dad, the great watching the great suffering of a beautiful soul gave me empathy. And it let me know what that looks like on a very dark moment. So now what I can recognize that you can always wear it, however dark it is, you can make it to the light. And that gave me the courage, and then I had my own battles, right? And so when I feel like, I chose that family I feel like or that family was given to me. My mother was the kind that loved everybody. Everybody was included. I'm in the southern I'm in the south, so it didn't matter what color you were, what she loved, everybody got love. So there was great, a great message from her in all of her lovely chaos, that was, everybody's good enough to love, everybody's okay. You don't have to be afraid of different people. My dad, he just taught me that you can love and and be broken and still love. And I think that for me, God knew that I needed more depth and weight to understand what spirituality is. I'm a very grounded person, so I like to feel safe. I like predictable. I like A plus B equals C. So there's part of my personality that loves that. But what that did is it gave me a foundation to believe in myself that if I prayed and went to church, that there would be spiritual moments in my life that would save me for my mistakes, right? So that part was confusing for me. You know, when you say, Why do I think I was brought here? There was a lot of times before I was 20, I was very confused with why this family. I don't necessarily believe this is the path spiritually I'm supposed to go. And I feel different, but I feel very alone because I don't have anybody to talk to about it, right?

Alex Ferrari 12:32
I mean, yeah, you're you're suppressing seeing spirit, you're suppressing a lot of that stuff because you're not trained. There's no one here to guide you.

Jennifer Farmer 12:41
Yeah, I was taught to be a good girl. Obviously, fall in line. You know, don't rock the boat and there is an elephant, but you cannot even acknowledge one.

Alex Ferrari 12:51
So you failed on all counts.

Jennifer Farmer 12:53
I remember, there's just been so many the courage it took for me to say that I have abilities and that I want to do it didn't come from the Jennifer that my family knew. It came from a different part of me that said I really feel like I can make a difference. And the near death experience, I think really is what confirmed for me what had always felt, that spirit was all open, and, you know, it included everyone, that there was a unconditional presence of love that is beyond human. I mean, you can't really put it into words. For me, I would say it's too big to explain. But what it feels like is home. That's loving and safe. And you know, that was what the near death experience gave to me. I remember, I, like, had a little conversation with God, because I had died on the table. And I don't know how long I was gone. I don't really know they,

Alex Ferrari 13:59
Let's not go like rush over it. So what happened the day you died? So let's kind of go through that process right before the near death experience. Take a shot.

Jennifer Farmer 14:10
It had been a long weekend of no sleep.

Alex Ferrari 14:15
So you were partying. How old were you?

Jennifer Farmer 14:19
I was 16?

Alex Ferrari 14:21
Oh, wow. You started partying young

Jennifer Farmer 14:24
Yeah, 16, wow, okay, I'd been up probably three or four days. What I know is they found me on the front lawn. My brother had to revive me. He was a cop in the area that I lived in, and I went to treatment, they took me to the hospital, and that moment when I woke up, I had had probably, and I can't really equate just to moments and times, but it felt like long seconds where I was in a time. Know. And it's like the sort of the clouds parted, you know, and I felt sort of called, and really at peace and whole. And it wasn't the all this the trauma that I had been experiencing, I felt, I felt whole and pure, like I was walking, a walking being of light. And I remember mentally when I could feel this sort of pull coming back to hearing beeps and things like that. And I said, God, I cannot go back there. This is this is not the place for me. You, you have this is wrong. You've got to, I don't want to go back. Please, don't make me go back. That's exactly what I said. And slowly I woke up, and there's my mother, who was scared to death. I was mad because I had woke up. And you know, I'd like to say that after I left that experience, I got clean and sober and all was perfect in that world. But that's not what happened. It took a long time for me to come together, but that moment of feeling that unconditional love and that moment of being on the other side, it felt like a lifetime that I never want to leave so much that I mentally was negotiating with God, saying, Oh, this is where I'm supposed to be, right here, not down there. And I heard you got more work to do,

Alex Ferrari 16:31
Or you've they find you on in, in the front yard, in the front yard. At what point did Did you see the tunnel of light?

Jennifer Farmer 16:41
Somewhere between when they picked me up. I forgot to mention I did go to jail,

Alex Ferrari 16:48
Okay, as you as of course,

Jennifer Farmer 16:51
And from that space, I guess I had in a moment there, then they took me to the hospital.

Alex Ferrari 16:56
So what? So, okay, who? So your brother took you to jail.

Jennifer Farmer 17:00
I'm not sure which one, but I know that I was told my brother was very upset that he found me. They found me in the front yard. They meaning that his brother's in arms. So that was.

Alex Ferrari 17:11
Okay. So, so when you see, let's, let's focus really quickly on the actual near death experience. So, alright, so you're, you're, it sounds to me like what you're saying. It's almost like you were in and out. It was kind of like, not a full blown I'm all the way in there, hanging out for days.

Jennifer Farmer 17:27
Yeah, it didn't feel like days, but it felt like eternity. It felt like a place where there was no time, is what it felt like, where it was just energy. There was no door. It was just no time. But I 100% going through the tunnel was amazing.

Alex Ferrari 17:46
So you felt so was a tunnel of light.

Jennifer Farmer 17:48
Oh, it was 100% and then there was this sort of tunnel of light. Again, I can't relate to time, whether that was minutes or hours, I have zero clue. And then I remember having feeling that love, that love, what we call love. It's love beyond supernatural in many ways. And I felt the presence of God. And in God's presence felt like what I felt like God's presence, a loving presence, not necessarily human, but I could relate to this presence in English. I could relate to it with a vocabulary in my head that I could have a conversation. So, you know, I always thought Jesus would of course, I'm Christian, so I've still got the Christ light within me. I always call myself a Christian on the fringe, literally, but because I still keep my roots of love and devotion and service, I do, you know, do unto others. There's a lot of that that will stay with me, sure, but you know that knowing that time, I can't really give you exactly how much time I was there, I just know that I clearly had a negotiation with God.

Alex Ferrari 19:03
So, so you're in the tunnel. Light at the end of the tunnel, you're in this what?

Jennifer Farmer 19:07
So at the end of the tunnel, it felt like an open space, a void, a void, but the void, it didn't feel like what you and I would it wasn't empty. It was a void, but it wasn't empty, it was filled with the energy. And I always think about the stars in many ways like this, because in the stars, they have, you know, between all the stars in the sky, they have an aura, and they have a light. That means there's a star, but there's no void. There's space between those stars. I was in the aura of this light, what it felt like for me, and so it didn't feel empty. It didn't feel alone. Wasn't purgatory. I didn't, you know, I didn't have I didn't say, Oh, you've reached now. Look what you've done. You've not surrendered. But it was a that moment I know gave me probably six. Three years later that that near death experience didn't have that much of an impact on me immediately, but three years later, my dad died, it was very hard on me. I had had put together some sobriety at that time, and I'd probably been a year sober and and and when he died, all bets were off, sure, yeah. And I remember, it was New Year's Eve, actually, and it was Texas New Year's Eve. It's cold and rainy and and I got nowhere to go. I can't go home to my mom, and I can't believe I'm talking about this on there. I whatever you feel comfortable, yeah, but I'd come to a place in my life where I wanted to die,

Alex Ferrari 20:52
Even after the near death experience.

Jennifer Farmer 20:53
Oh, yeah,

Alex Ferrari 20:54
Interesting.

Jennifer Farmer 20:55
I wanted to die. I couldn't bear being in the physical world. Was too much. It was too painful, it was too lonely,

Alex Ferrari 21:07
Even after the near death.

Jennifer Farmer 21:08
Oh, yeah, but you have to remember, I was still young. I was I was still adolescent. Yeah, you were right.

Alex Ferrari 21:15
You weren't even fully formed yet,

Jennifer Farmer 21:18
Still a rebel with a cause, which means I'm not going to do anything y'all tell me to do, right? But when I think where it all came together for me was I was walking in the weather for traffic circle in Fort Worth It was raining, and I said, God, I was hitchhiking, actually, is what I was doing. But I said I was literally hitchhiking. And I had hitchhiked to California. I had done some crazy stuff. I thought, though, I thought California was going to save my life. And so, you know, I hitchhiked to Cal anyway, you that's a whole nother adventure. But we're angels. I know what watched out over me. I because there was a lot of serial killers going on that time, and I just know that there was an angel one time that a guy picked me up in a van at three o'clock in the morning on Hollywood Boulevard. Oh, oh no, oh God. And I 100% there was something that transpired there, and it wasn't scary, but I felt protected, and I don't know what all that was, you know, obviously, I made it back home, but after I hitchhiked from back from California to Texas. Anyway, you don't

Alex Ferrari 22:29
Picked up in a van at three o'clock in the morning Hollywood,

Jennifer Farmer 22:32
Hollywood Boulevard, right! So, but you know, the point with the near death experience, the reason I feel like it's important and was important in my life is there, even though I wasn't ready to take the spiritual path, per se, I really still was on a mission to die on honestly, because it just didn't see how to be happy

Alex Ferrari 22:55
Going back to the near death experience. Yes, you're you're out of the tunnel. Yep, you're in this space, yeah, this void. That's that you're feeling the aura, and, yeah, peace and eternity and all of that. Yes, it was. And then you're having a conversation with someone, or just in general?

Jennifer Farmer 23:10
Oh, I knew I was talking to God.

Alex Ferrari 23:11
Someone's there was something. There was someone there

Jennifer Farmer 23:14
I knew. I'll go, oh, this is God. I've got to have a conversation.

Alex Ferrari 23:18
And did they talk? Did the guy talk back?

Jennifer Farmer 23:19
Yes,

Alex Ferrari 23:21
You have work to do.

Jennifer Farmer 23:22
But what was interesting is I could feel coming back into my body, and that's why I started to have a negotiation. That's exactly what happened. I go, Oh, we're going back. Oh, God, this is not the pet. No, I don't want this 100% that was exactly. It was like, oh, things are peaceful. I'm whole. I feel like where I'm supposed to be, and then back into this situation, feel this vacuum, and I feel like being sucked back in. I did. I was like, oh. And that's when I started to beg, literally, please, please, please, don't, please, please. I don't want to go back, because after you watch somebody you love destroy themselves, you know, my dad was an out. You know, I'm watching arguments and fighting. I couldn't see even though I was raised in church, nobody talked about God in my house right now my godmother, whom I consider a heavenly angel on earth, when I would go to her house, we would pray and sing and we'd go to their church was which wasn't as far and brimstone, and I felt very loved there. And there was, you know, God loves you. I got a different message,

Alex Ferrari 24:40
Different God, different. You got any more New Testament God than Old Testament God.

Jennifer Farmer 24:45
Yeah. And then you know, the only you know, from that space you have to, I, we, I was taught to not talk if everything's fine. That's the world I lived in all this. Everything's fine, everything, no, I don't have a problem with drinking or doing drugs. I've got a straight A's. I'm going in, you know, two lives meeting, and that's, that's why.

Alex Ferrari 25:06
So when you were in the other side, though, you when you were negotiating, were you negotiating as a 16 year old mind?

Jennifer Farmer 25:13
I sure felt like it.

Alex Ferrari 25:14
It sounds like it.

Jennifer Farmer 25:16
I did felt like it 100%

Alex Ferrari 25:18
So your personality like you were, you were still in this, yeah, this, this character, if you will, the character that you're playing with now, Jennifer was, that's who that 16 year old version of Jennifer was the one on the other percent. Yeah, it wasn't like a higher version of yourself. It wasn't like everything, nope. It was very, almost base level. Yeah, interesting. Okay, so that's so then when, and then when you're being pulled back in, guys, like, No, you got more work to do, sorry. And you're like, No, no. And then when you get when you wake up and you see the you're like, son of a

Jennifer Farmer 25:49
Exactly. I was mad. I was like, oh,

Alex Ferrari 25:52
So, okay, so now that you've come back, so this is what I wanted to get to. So you come back, you go to jail for a minute, you're in the hospital. All of that, did you process what happened? Nothing. So what did you knew? You knew something happened?

Jennifer Farmer 26:07
Oh, 100%

Alex Ferrari 26:09
But you weren't. You could not deal, right? Okay, because you weren't you. You were sober. You weren't sober yet. No, no, of course not. You weren't sober yet.

Jennifer Farmer 26:17
No, funny, I haven't ever taken a legal drink.

Alex Ferrari 26:21
Really?

Jennifer Farmer 26:23
Yeah, I got sober when I was 19.

Alex Ferrari 26:26
Okay! So, yeah, wow.

Jennifer Farmer 26:31
I'm like, that's, that's what it takes for me to be in my higher self, you know? And I know that what I've come to understand is I feel like there are a lot of people that are sensitive, spiritual beings that turn to drugs and alcohol because being this sensitive, yeah, it's too much. And whether it's what I you know, you may think it's circumstantial, oh, it's because of this or Oh, it's because of this, and in the truth. And the truth is, I now know I needed to drink because I could read when my dad was going to drink. I could read when there was going to be a fight. I could. I remember walking home I was third grade, and I would, I would just sort of scan my house, three blocks from my house, just to see what was going on before I to see if he was home, to see if there was instinctually my I know that my sort of living with alcoholic home and all that kind of repression, really, because on the outside we look good. We had a home two parents, right. Had a good school, right? But it was training ground for me to develop my psychic senses. I could read like because children, we always think it's our fault that there's problems, and so I would try to adjust my behavior. You know, 6,7,8,9, years old. If I could just be a good girl, then maybe think so I would psychically look to see is everything okay in the house? What do I need to clean when I get home? Is there going to be an argument tonight? Like I could tell these kinds of things. And I know that, as in adolescence, when puberty hits, all that begins to kind of go like a porcupine. It gets more you know, all the frills come out of a porcupine. You get more sensitive. And for me, I think that that was probably the only way this beautiful soul could cope with being a spiritual being in a physical body, is having some relief from all the hypersensitivity of people's emotions and anger, and, you know, I'd know when somebody was going to die and but no, we didn't talk about it like I could just feel the anxiety of things and so

Alex Ferrari 28:46
Yeah, as an empath in that environment with no support, yeah, and no information about what was happening to you,

Jennifer Farmer 28:53
Yeah! And it's really, I think, that, you know, once my family knew that I had an issue with drugs and alcohol, they they got treatment like, I've been to a lot of treatment centers, like they did everything they could, but I think that the family didn't heal. I healed, but the family didn't heal because I had supporters that they did what they knew to do, but I was different. I did not fall in line. I was super emotional, and if I said stuff that you know worried them. Jennifer, you can't talk like that, you know. So you know, I know that. You know my big Protector was my brother, your cop, your news officer. You know my big protector. So what? There were family things going on, my mother would send me to my godmother's house. So even though, and I'm not excusing the dysfunction because it was highly dysfunctional, but as somebody who's sensitive, who only came here to love and comfort others and be of service, I was that way as a kid, not just because it I wanted to be loved, but I just felt like I have a desire to help. I have a desire to heal. I have a desire to make people feel better. I had that from three years old.

Alex Ferrari 30:05
So then the the drugs and alcohol were away for you just to cope, numb, numb, numb. You had to numb yourself, not because of pain, but because of just the, yeah, the amount of stuff coming at you, and because you had no one to help, you had no tools, no tools, no books, no

Jennifer Farmer 30:21
And God didn't show up, by the way, because dad's still drinking. You have to remember, that's how 1516, year old thinks I'm still waiting for Santa Claus to God to be like Santa Claus. God doesn't. God takes us on the path.

Alex Ferrari 30:34
So then, so you come back, you, you, you continue drinking and drugs after that.

Jennifer Farmer 30:41
Gonna experiment, see if I can make it better and not do that anymore. I used to say, if I could just learn how to drink and not black out, I think I'd be okay. If I could just, I could not black out.

Alex Ferrari 30:52
Then, even after your near death experience, you knew something had happened, but you didn't have the equipment to process it.

Jennifer Farmer 30:58
And I didn't really tell anybody,

Alex Ferrari 31:00
Of course. Well, why would you? Yeah, that's the devil's work. Yeah. I mean, that's the devil's work, essentially. So, so you come back, you're still drinking, you're still doing all your things.

Jennifer Farmer 31:10
But then your dad passes, yeah, that was the epiphany.

Alex Ferrari 31:14
So when dad passes everything that you'd been hold the, I like to call it the beach ball that you're trying to hold under the water. It's 100% true. You're just like, if anyone who's ever tried to do that knows you could hold it for a little bit, yeah, but eventually it's gonna pop it's gonna pop out. And that's exactly when your dad passes. That's the moment everything comes flashing back up to you.

Jennifer Farmer 31:38
Had a lot of guilt around my dad's passing because I had gotten sober, but I couldn't go and see him anymore because it was too painful. I was afraid that I would drink again. He's a trigger, yes, 100 trigger. And so it well him because of the drinking, because I couldn't control him, and then my mom, because she's his she's the reason he drinks. Now, mind you, that's not the reason he drinks. So that's the way my mind thought about it. So when, you know, when he died, I'd been sober about a year, but I really didn't do this. A lot of the things that really is required for long term sobriety, I stopped drinking. I didn't, you know, go down the beer aisle. I didn't go by the dope house. I didn't do any of that stuff and but I did have a desire to be different, but it wasn't enough. When my dad died, he had called me and asked me to come and see him, and I said, Daddy, I can't come see you, not while you're drinking. I just can't do it. And he died the next day.

Alex Ferrari 32:48
Oh, you must deal with you needed to deal with that guilt badly.

Jennifer Farmer 32:54
So we, you know, a 19 year old, 18 year old, we're convinced that if we could just be different, and maybe I talked to him,

Alex Ferrari 33:03
You start beating yourself up pretty well.

Jennifer Farmer 33:07
I probably relapsed with then see he died in May. I relapsed in August. You held on for a while, little bit, little bit relationships help. Yeah, yeah.

Alex Ferrari 33:20
You need something to distract you.

Jennifer Farmer 33:22
It's 100% true. And so after I relapsed, I I was out and about doing the deal till January, and I've been sober since that's

Alex Ferrari 33:32
So at what point did the Near Death Experience come back up for you again?

Jennifer Farmer 33:36
I processed it when after it was New Year's Eve, my dad died, and it was nine months after my dad died, I was walking down the road. I said, God, look, I can't keep this sobriety together. I don't want to live here. I'm trying to have a job and do all the right things. But the truth is, my dad is not here with me, and I said, I can't live with my mother. And I said, I'm just going to jump out in front of the next car that passes. It's raining, it's 30 degrees outside, and I was really, I was fixing this. I mean, this is a highway I'm just fixing to step off. And I went to step off, and a van stopped behind me and asked me, Do you need help?

Alex Ferrari 34:24
Not a Hollywood Boulevard van.

Jennifer Farmer 34:25
This was a soccer band. Got it. Soccer van, minivan, minivan, minivan, minivan. Stopped and I, and I was probably five miles from my godmother's house, whom I had seen. This is why I know even when we think life is terrible and it's sucking, it's not going our way, that there are angels along the path that love us, whether they're teachers, neighbors, these were they were my godmother was my neighbor, and I was five miles from there. I said, Just take me to Betty's house. And I said, Betty, I gotta figure out my life.

Alex Ferrari 35:07
How old are you here?

Jennifer Farmer 35:08
19, okay. And she said, You can stay here. And I started to put to my life together and and then at that moment though, when I knew I had that feeling. It's kind of like when I told, God, I was stepping off. I'm done with this. Because by that time, I had already tried to drink and use myself like I tried to mix things together so I would just die. Now, even though I looked like I was having a good time, my plan was to get gone. You were trying to exit stage left. Yeah, and my dad left me some money, and I had some money to do that with. Of course, that's all gone right. By that point, like I'm walking, all that money's gone, you know? But that moment when I stepped off, I was talking to that near death person that I felt I was I wanted to go back there. And I said, Wherever you are, like, this is it, I'm I'm done. And when that van stopped, it's like that. I kind of paid attention to that. I went I did get help. I am getting help now. What am I going to do with it? And so that gave me that, knowing that all back then, it started to come together for me, that something bigger than me wanted me to stay here, that it was something good in me that needed to be a purpose, and that's what I did. It's what I've done ever since, is I have put my life on a higher plane, and through that time when my gifts started to awaken, which I'm going to say, I think that was better for me as an adult, because obviously I couldn't have handled any more gifts.

Alex Ferrari 36:49
You couldn't handle anything else, right? Your plate was full, right, right?

Jennifer Farmer 36:54
So that there were periods that I know that I processed that, and I know that time in the light, whatever charge, whatever beautiful energy frequency that is, I know that when the time came with enough intention, and I'm going to call it virtuous goals, I wanted to do something good for others, that my life, apparently, me living for myself was not Good plan that I needed to devote my life to helping others, that that came together, and then my sort of, my gift, started to awaken in a very safe and comfortable way, began to read people's energy and not be afraid. I used to be able to I would know things at work, and people would come and talk to me, and people started talking to me about their life, and things would come to me as they did, from a different, higher version of myself. And I think I love the fact that you use the term Higher Self, because I do believe that if we have education around that, if we understand what that is, that our life can change categorically for the better and the most powerful life that we can be if we're in our higher self. And it was through this sort of follow the breadcrumbs, through a lot of drama and, you know suffering and pain and but with the determined to know you want to do something good for yourself, then those gifts started to unfold, like a lotus flower, in a way that I I knew I had something, and that's when I realized, when I had that experience, at that frequency, I 100% know when I was Ready, in my late 20s to really kind of understand why I could pick up energy, and why when I meditated, things got brighter, and why when I, you know, would be at the dinner table and I could see somebody's loved one. Now that was kind of weird, but I know it's because of that experience, because it wasn't any other. I haven't had any other kind of profound moment like that in this dimension that meets the frequency that I can now carry with consciousness and awareness, I can get into that place that only comes from the higher self, not the worldly self, the domesticated human.

Alex Ferrari 39:24
So when you started to these things, started to awaken, which it seems like you had already had versions of this when you were younger. Yeah, didn't understand it, but you just instinctually knew I'm going to scan this situation before 100% because, you know, crap could just be hitting the fan right now, and I got to make sure. So you kind of knew this. But as after your after your father passes, after you go with your godmother, and everything starts to turn around for you. You go sober and and you start living your life, as these new abilities start coming in, how are you processing? Singing it, because I always ask mediums this ass like, so when you heard the voice, did you think you were going crazy? No, because you already were. You already seen the other side. You have a deeper knowing than most. It's not like you woke up one morning and Uncle Bob sitting there,

Jennifer Farmer 40:16
Yeah, when I, when I started to and for me, it started somebody, I said, you know, I started to meditate more because I wanted to feel closer to that God. I wanted to be more calm. I'm a little bit of an anxious person, and I wanted to be more calm and centered. I didn't realize that when I become calm and centered, that my energy expands, and now I feel everything even more. You see, so for me, I did a lot of internal processing. Somebody gave me a book and some something about energy. I'll never forget this. It was Sanaya Romans book, and I love the way she wrote. She wrote very down to earth, practical stuff. It was a personal power through awareness and she talked about it gave me the understanding why I went back, and why I experienced the things I did, and why I felt the things I did and and I did the exercise. I'm self I'm self motivated, per se, I don't again. I still have that. I don't want to tell anybody what I'm really doing, because they might try to stop me. I still have a little bit of that, you know, I still want to do my own thing, and, you know, do that. So I didn't. I did. It took me several months, and I do the meditation and I practice them, and oh, what color Am I seeing today? And who am I going to run in today? And I did that because it brought me joy. I felt good. It felt good to feel connected to something bigger than myself, even beyond my you know, I was in corporate America, which I love, but I knew there was something more, because I didn't always say A plus B equals C. I just knew here just annoying and so but I knew it was spiritual. I knew it wasn't going to be about job, because I had a job. I knew it wasn't about money. It wasn't I knew it wasn't about what size clothes I was going to wear. I had done sort of the worldly accomplishments, because I'm a little bit of a higher achiever, and that didn't fix here. And when I and I knew God, I knew spirituality was going to be my go to and how I started with spirituality, it grew. I had to let go of some old beliefs about what God is and what God isn't. I had to understand that I could be my own authority, that I could be, you know, there's one thing they did teach us in churches that, you know, the relationship is between you and God. Now that's one thing that stuck with me I go, that nobody else is meant to judge, that even though, if you go to the church, that's all they do, you're not doing. And so I knew that if I could create a relationship with God that was a loving God, like what I had felt, that that was going to be my answer. I can't tell you how logically I knew that. I just knew it. And so then I started to read spirituality, which I had to go find those books, because Amazon wasn't, you know, it wasn't at the drop of the hat. You had to go the library. You had to get referrals. You had to go to secret, you know, stores,

Alex Ferrari 43:07
Metaphysical stores, yeah,

Jennifer Farmer 43:09
We had like, one look in a house, you know, and I had to start asking questions, and when I finally revealed myself, I'm always grateful. I had one. I had a girl that worked for me. She was a friend, and she kind of saw what was going on. And I could tell her, I said, you know, I'm picking up things. I'm seeing things. And she'd say, you know, you need to go a little bit more with that. And I go, Yeah, I'm reading this book, and now I'm meditating. And then I would do these secret exercises, like I travel with my work, and say, okay, spirit. What, what t shirt like? What color is going to be around me on the airplane. And I'd sort of get my write my notes down and and, dang if it wasn't right, and I get on the airplane, I'd sit in my one seat, and here that was right next to me. So I did these little stepping stones. I didn't just wake up and go, I got this thing, and it's all good. There's some people I think, that have that sure mine was more let's tiptoe in. Let's lean in. Let's remember why we want to do this. Let's see where this is going to take me. And then that's when I started to really begin to get the vision of seeing other people, because the Claire audience that worked for me, and then obviously, when I started to see people's loved ones, thank God I was an adult. I wouldn't have known what to do. I would have thought I was crazy, you know, when I was a kid. And I always think that's not a bad thing that you can you know, you hear people say, Oh, I've had this since a child, and I was developed. That wasn't my experience. I'm glad mine didn't hit until my late 20s, early 30s, because I was mature enough and I was grounded enough to know that what is going on with me is a spiritual awakening. Do I know where it's going to take me? No, but I sure want to go because it's the only sense of that feeling. Feeling I got from that near death experience in this form, in this body. And so I experimented. I went, you know, I went to Europe to study with mediums, because I I wanted to understand what was happening was real, and if it was something that was just going to go away, like, Is this, like, is this just gonna go away, and then it's gonna be, like, a new pair of jeans, it's gonna fade out, then I won't have it anymore. And that's just not what's happened. That's over 18 years ago, and I'm, you know, and where'd you go in Europe? Yeah, I went to, went to the Stansted school, and, yeah, the Arthur family school. I went there many times, and worked with the tutors, and apparently they were happy with what they saw, because they had me up and practicing, and there were 40-50, people in the class. And here I'm from Texas, you know, the southern draw and all that. And they're like, Okay, Jennifer. And I'm like, oh, you know, so that exposure, and it was in a church, and that was really cool for me, because it it gave me some comfort that there was some structure around what I was learning. You know, they would talk about, they, you know, pointed out, you know, the gifts and, you know, in the Bible, it wasn't this kind of brow beating experience, but it was like when you went to Sunday service there at the spiritualist church, they were giving messages. They would sing. I felt like I was a church that are singing and, you know, my joy to the world. And then here we go, and your loved ones here. And I was like, Oh, my God, this is a like, nobody's going down to repent for their sins, you know. So that was, I think, for me, for my path, is what gave me the courage to keep going and the comfort to know that, yes, you know, I lost some friends, you know, I'm sure, you know, I think so. I think I'm psychic. Oh, Jennifer, I'm not sure, like, and that's immediately people stop calling, oh, yeah, another feeling, oh, then you get it. You're like,

Alex Ferrari 46:57
Oh, you think this is easy, coming from, where I come from? Yeah.

Jennifer Farmer 47:00
I mean, just like, and so I kind of knew that one door was shutting, but it was worth it for me, the joy not necessarily joy. It wasn't joyful at that moment. It was the curiosity of something that feels good, and where can I go spiritually and evolve in a way that may take me back to that feeling from that near death and more. Can I get that on this lifetime? Can I get that feeling without dying? Yeah, without dying and without mixing a here, here, here, here

Alex Ferrari 47:36
That's drowsy. I'll take two of those. That drowsy. I'll take two of those. Throw some night pool in there, like, yeah, it's insane.

Jennifer Farmer 47:43
So I think that, you know, for people that are have gone through trauma, there's always there is a reason behind that, because their souls are meant to bring help and hope and healing to other people, to their divine qualities. And you had to go through all of that, I guess so well, I mean, just the way it is. I mean, I think if it would have, I'm always getting when people talk about that, they, you know, were raised around open people. I still don't tell people that I do this work out in public.

Alex Ferrari 48:15
Yeah, you know, you know, you don't start with that.

Jennifer Farmer 48:18
In fact, I, you know, there are a lot of people that know me, that they I, they know I, you know. They only know me now because I've been around a long time, and somebody's told somebody that I did this, and they had a reading that kind of thing. But I'm I'm in a place in my life where, if we can help awaken more people from whatever path they're drawn to, to go further into. It's okay, it's safe to dive in and that if you're surrounded by people that love and support you, even if it's in books and in podcasts, it like for me, had that one friend that that one or two little conversations that she said, I think you're okay. I think you got to keep and go here and go look at this, that you don't need a host of believers around you to take the next step.

Alex Ferrari 49:06
Yeah, just it was one person, Amy, or it could be a book that aims you in the right direction, or a podcast that aims you in the right

Jennifer Farmer 49:16
Always call it the catalyst. Like, what? What's your catalyst? For me, it was my dad dying, and then it was that was the entry point. But the actual awakening happened when I realized that the worldly objectives that we are taught of career being good people, putting money in the bank, success, the right size, the right look, when I realized that that was never going to be that's never going to give you life, sustaining fuel for joy and happiness, that that was never going to be enough. And then I did that same thing. You know, I go to temples. I've meditated with monks because I want to find the shortcut like so. And then I go to go to yogananda you know, retreats, and I go to silent retreats, which don't work for me. Silent retreats, I've last about 12 hours, and that's about it for me. But I'd meditate with the monks who are spiritual. And I'd be, oh, this is where I'm going to get the shortcut. What they do the same thing I do at home. We sit, we relax, we focus, we become aware. I'm like, oh, okay, so we're gonna get it. This is our this is our destiny. We're gonna be that kind of you know person that prioritizes spirituality, and even in spite of all pressures from the outside world,

Alex Ferrari 50:34
I have to ask you something Jennifer, you know you and I come from similar backgrounds. You're Christian, I'm Catholic. Oh, yeah, I love Catholics. Yeah, I was, I'm a recovering, yes, I love that. And when I, when I kind of discovered that it was all BS, you know, and please, anyone who's watching who's a Catholic, forgive me, but this is my truth. It's theirs. Is different, but this is my truth, that a lot of the fear based stuff and all this stuff and holes in the plot and the story and all that kind of stuff, it just started to get me angry. And for years I was very, very angry at the church, very, very angry at the religion, because I'm like, You lied. And I went to Catholic school. I went to Catholic school from first four years and the last four years, I went to high school. I was all Catholic. So I had the nuns, I had the priests. I did the whole thing, oh yeah. Got paddled the principal's office constantly because I was a troublemaker, as you could imagine. Love Yes, with troublemakers. That's the only people who changed the world with troublemakers. Makers. But when I left, not left, but when I decided that this just was not even when I was in high school, I was like this on BS, but I'll go to the school because it's good school. But it was, and the funny thing is, most of my classmates felt the same. It was, there was very few Catholic people in my, at least in my in my class, yeah, my, my senior class, or the class I went through all four years that were like church every Sunday. There was a handful, but most of them are like, whatever this is, we're just going to Catholics. So it was really interesting. I went to Catholic school in South Florida, so it was just a really interesting thing. But once I got out and I really started to study other religions, study other philosophy, start doing my own journeys into like Yogananda and other other things, and I studied, I mean, every religion, every philosophy, every I just wanted to learn about all of it. And then I started to put together my own, my own philosophy with everybody else's. And then going back, I was very angry. I'm like, You guys lied, yeah, you guys lied to try to control. You guys lied about Christ. You know, no one tells me it will happen in the yada yada yada yada years, yeah, which is from year 12 to year 30. I call the yada yada yada years. That's the Yeah, like, when no one talk I ask questions no one talks about so there was so much all that anger, did you? I eventually turned the corner, and then I found a lot of beauty and love for what I was exposed to. Because without being exposed at that young age to Catholicism. It did bring in a couple of core ideas God, something larger than yourself. And then a lot of the true teachings of Christ did sneak through all the dogma, yes, as much as they try not to let it get through, Jesus that's through. So with all of that, I finally got around to, like, very being grateful for what I went through, and I needed to go through that for you. And you were raised Baptist, Southern Baptist

Jennifer Farmer 53:49
Still live that I I love being in Florida. By the way, Florida was one of my favorite adventures. I was there for 10 years because people were open, more open to this kind of work. Oh, yeah. And, you know, and so I got the experience of going and being in Florida where people were, oh, you do this, and that were in Texas. No, no, no, right? I just want you to say there are some great things about Florida, as far as

Alex Ferrari 54:16
We're in Austin, Austin's where the weirdos are. So you're at home here.

Jennifer Farmer 54:21
Oh, I got off track. So what was your question?

Alex Ferrari 54:24
My question is, when you, when you look back at your Southern Baptist roots, and, I mean, a lot of it was trauma and dogma and fear, spiritual abuse, that's a great term.

Jennifer Farmer 54:36
What's spiritual abuse? I mean, just to give you the pinnacle, yeah, I didn't get paddled in church, but I remember I was probably in early middle school. They took us kids at during school, during church, in to watch a movie. Oh, God, what was it? And they literally were talking about the trials and tribulations, where they literally had pictures of guillotines. Yeah. Where people I'm this is hands down. I remember I was so terrified, burned into your brain, burned in my brain, um, you know. And what I know is that even though they were trying to scare me into God and to show me what would happen if I didn't believe into God, you don't show that to a seven year old.

Alex Ferrari 55:17
Oh, no, I was told that. I was told to hell. It was real in first grade, I was, I went home crying, yeah, crying, yeah, the trauma that way.

Jennifer Farmer 55:24
And of course, if you didn't tell anybody, yeah, about this, years later, I talked to my godmother about it, because she is in the different church, and she'd said, Jennifer, I can't believe you didn't I said, Betty, you know, they took me in at seven, and I'm watching people getting, you know, beheaded because, or, you know, being separated from their family because they are not believers. And this is the trials and tribulation. She goes. I can't believe I didn't know that. I said, Betty, because I was taught you don't talk about things that aren't, you know, you just don't talk about things that upset people.

Alex Ferrari 55:58
Well, that's gone out the window in today's world, think everybody's gone.

Jennifer Farmer 56:05
Yeah, I did. You know, I call it spiritual abuse, and of course, I'm a mother, and I took some time deciding how I was going to raise my son. Yeah, that's and I had for us, because we lived in California at one point, and I was

Alex Ferrari 56:20
All the heathens are obviously all the heathens lived. I lived there for many years

Jennifer Farmer 56:25
And so he was in Lutheran School. I decided to put him in private school because the other schools were a little and I kind of watched the messages. But when he got about, I'd say probably seven, eight. I was like, okay, he's going to get to decide his own path on church, because, you know, I'd moved back to Texas, which is where all the where all the only God only lives at certain churches, of course. And so I decided at that time I wasn't going to pressure him to decide what his path was. And so he had some good experiences, but he's, you know, chosen another path for now, which is fine, but I think that 100% it's spiritual abuse. It's insane, yeah. And I do believe I'm a recovered that way, part of me, even though I say, you know, I kept some of my teaching, I think secret. There's probably a seven year old that's afraid to not to believe,

Alex Ferrari 57:17
You know, it's funny. It's like when I had my kids. I've told this story, but it's still funny that my mom turns to me one day, she's like, so um, are you gonna get them baptized? Mind you, my mom, you're Catholic. Yeah, my mom went to church, maybe on Christmas, maybe on Easter, and she hasn't been to church 20 years. Oh, okay, 20 and then she turns to me after our kids are born, and they're like, so you get baptized. And I just, I was in awe. I just turned her, I go, why? She's like, you know, just in case it's that little bit of like it doesn't hurt, throw some water on her head, just in case. You know you're wrong and they were right. It's that fear is

Jennifer Farmer 58:09
It is there, and then the grown up and it goes, Okay. Now let's just think,

Alex Ferrari 58:13
Okay, guys, everyone needs to then fast forward, years later, we tell our daughters the whole they're fascinated with with spirituality in general, and they and they are asking about this, and we told them the story about the baptism, and they go. So wait a minute. So if, and by the way, they've traveled through Europe with us, and they've gone to every major they've seen all the spiritual picture. I mean, we went to Italy. So Italy is worse than Texas. Like, you can't go 15 feet without getting into a church, yeah? Not like a strip mall church, yeah, a church. Church where, like, oh, yeah, Leonardo painted that, yeah, yeah. And Donatello painted that. I'm like, what? So they've been into probably, I don't know, at least 100 churches throughout Europe, you know, and all the big ones in Oregon and in Spain and all this concept. So they've experienced church, real church, yeah, you know, from the from the motherland, if you will, yeah. And they, and they're, we're explaining baptism to them. They're like, so wait a minute. I'm like, That's right, you're, you were born with original sin, and since we've chosen not to baptize you. You're pretty screwed. And they're just like, what? Why? Like, yeah, you're screwed. You, you've got original sin on you, and we decided not to clear it, so really can't do anything about it. And they're like, that sounds insane. Oh no. They're very, oh, they're very, I love it. They're both, yeah, they're both. They were just, like, highly evolved, very they're like, that doesn't seem right, highly evolved. But with that said, we're at the Vatican. We bought holy water. We bought, if they're beautiful, oh, yeah, I would want it. I want, yeah, we have a little bottle of holy water. And I go, why do you want to buy this? Like, well, it's cute. It looks really like, it looks like a perfume bottle. It was beautiful. Yeah. Yeah, and like, and just in case some stuff goes down, yes, you mean, like, when the vampire shows, like, hey, why not? But the just in case, breaking, break glass, in case of emergency, 100% scenario is really, yeah, that's how deep,

Jennifer Farmer 1:00:18
Subconsciously, deep ingrained that we've been, you know, told that we aren't good and that we have to prove ourselves to be enough, and then the only way you do that is if you only do it a certain way. And that's almost like the

Alex Ferrari 1:00:29
military. But that's also the opposite of what Jesus said.

Jennifer Farmer 1:00:32
Yeah, 100% I always, I think about that now, it's the opposite. He didn't say anything. In fact, that I had a lady when I was first in this work, she'd say, you know, Jesus is the best medium there is. And she goes, he actually did come back from the dead. You know, this

Alex Ferrari 1:00:49
Crazy stuff you're talking about, but Jesus actually,

Jennifer Farmer 1:00:52
He actually did that. Yeah, he did. And so I think that, you know, wherever we are in our souls, you know, I was thinking about coming on this podcast. I was thinking about the kind of people that listen Sure, and where they're at in their journey, because I usually meet people in a certain place in their journey, they've either had a catalyst like a loss, or they've hit a major part of depression, and they're looking for spiritual clarity, or spiritual truth, or to understand that there's something bigger. And that's what I think your show does, is you've got enough information that people can go and listen when they're walking and maybe here's something like what happened to me that just gives you that little bit of Oh, this feels this feels good. This resonates. I want to go a little bit more, and I want to go see what's next, you know, and I think that's when people are curious about spirituality, which is where I think the church did a disservice, is they don't encourage spirituality. Encourages you to explore all beliefs, correct? It's all inclusive, never exclusive, right? This one like true, pure, yeah. Spirituality, true, yeah. And so you're meant to we as higher souls, and I'm talking from a higher self space now, me doing this work for as long as I have, I think there comes a space when our soul just kind of begins to become part of how we interact and see the world. It doesn't have to be the magic. See, I had the magic. I had the near death experience I had. I'm gonna had the van that picked me up in Hollywood Boulevard.

Alex Ferrari 1:02:40
I'm still terrified about that story.

Jennifer Farmer 1:02:42
I had I won't even tell you about the truck driver that brought that walked into the to the truck driver station, said I need a ride back to Texas, and I'm in Ontario, California. Now that worked.

Alex Ferrari 1:02:54
Yeah, you definitely have angels. Girl,

Jennifer Farmer 1:02:56
I think about where we are now. You're an evolved soul?

Alex Ferrari 1:03:01
Well, I'm doing the best I can,

Jennifer Farmer 1:03:02
But you're in a space where you're working in a vibration that you spend more time as your Higher Self than in maybe your part of you that was asleep. You're more awakened to spirituality. Yeah, right, that I will agree with, for sure, and I feel like our jobs, for people that have gone through these expert Catholic like, how, you know, some people think they're too afraid to leave their religion because of the just in case, but they have the yearning to want something more. And that's where, I think sometimes seeing our lives give people permission to say it's okay to look. Yes, it's okay to look, you know. And that's what I think my one friend did for me when she said it's okay to look, because the last thing you want to do is go around reporting. Now, listen, I'm starting to see spirit guides and, you know, and by the way, I had this vision in my dream. And hey, I'm channeling right, at least in Texas, that may be fine somewhere else, but that that's in the area that I grew up and the people that I know even now. You know, my family loved me, my brother. It's the first time I've done first time I recorded a complete demonstration, two hour demonstration for him. And I said, Hey bubba. I said, I'm going to send I said, Are you open? Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and send this to you. He goes, Oh, yeah, I'd like to see what you do. Ain't heard nothing back, you know, but it's okay. I wanted to plant the seed that this is what I do, and I'm not afraid of it anymore, even by the most people that love me, that they won't reject me because of my beliefs. And that's the other thing, is when we step out like you did in your career, and you were the human side of us needs to be wanted, needed and loved, and sometimes when we step out of that mold and we go that you. Another path, we are afraid we're going to lose people we love. And what I'll say to anybody that's out there is that if you go on this path, you'll have more people support you along the way than you maybe thought you would, new people, and the other people were not here to change their beliefs. We're here to fulfill our beliefs.

Alex Ferrari 1:05:19
You were saying about the the trauma, the spiritual abuse that people take. And the one thing I always I even at a young age, even I think in those first four years, first four grades that I did when I was in Catholic school, I always even thought about because even at that age, I was aware of other religions. Was aware of Buddhism. I was aware of of Hinduism. Oh, good for you, Muslim and all that. Yeah. I mean, I was exposed to it somewhat, yeah. But I would say, Wait a minute. I mean, there's a billion and a half Buddhists, another billion and a half Hindu another, you know, billion Muslims, but we're the only right? It's our way or the highway. And you got that in fourth grade, I think around there, yeah, I was starting to think about these kind of things, and I'm like, Well, wait a minute, how about that African tribe that's never heard of any of these things, and they live their life doing that? Or, how about the kid that has a short life? Or, you know, you know someone, there were so many what ifs that just didn't the story didn't make sense. And then only once I started to explore all spirituality and to put together this story structure for my own story, right? That was like, Oh, this now makes sense. Reincarnation makes sense to me, the soul, why we're, you know, why bad things happen to good people, quote, unquote, what are the negative and the positives of the world? What? What's happening in our little you know, blue marble in the universe? That's exactly, you know, all of these kind of things started to change the way I looked at the world. And that's what I always find fascinating. When you talk to people who are only like, it's my god is better than your God. And if you know, that's why I love talking like I talked to a Templar, one of the leader, the leaders of the Templar, modern Templars. And I said, and I said, Hey, so the Crusades, you know, how'd that go? He's like, Yeah, that wasn't a really good idea. And then we went deep into that explain kind of talking about, like, in the name of Jesus, I kill you because you don't believe in Jesus, I'm like, that goes against everything that Jesus talked about, and these kind of things that just didn't make a whole lot of sense in the story. It just a friend of mine said this once, and I'll never forget. I think it's one of the best quotes, no one ever left. No one ever left Christianity because of Jesus's teachings.

Jennifer Farmer 1:07:44
That's 100% true.

Alex Ferrari 1:07:46
No one

Jennifer Farmer 1:07:47
I love that

Alex Ferrari 1:07:48
Isn't that amazing. No one ever left Christianity because of Jesus. They left because of Paul. That's a whole other conversation. But they left because of the dogma and the Roman church and all the other that they threw on this beautiful souls message that he came to try to awaken a humanity that was not ready for him. Neither was Buddha, neither was many of the others that have come after these other avatars, these other beautiful masters who've walked the earth.

Jennifer Farmer 1:08:18
I kind of got that feeling probably like, how can everybody else be wrong? I kind of felt that around that age to go along with authority. I'm not asking anybody those questions. I didn't say, Hey, mom, so why does like, Aunt Clara, why don't we have to keep all that? Like, why does she have to go to her secret church, you know, which was at the big Roman Catholic Church, and, well, why don't we go to Mass? I said, That sounds fun. Like I love that about I love the drama and the beauty, and I like a lot of the pomp, because I feel like it gets you into the energy

Alex Ferrari 1:08:54
That would be the friend of mine calls it the Catholic calisthenics.

Jennifer Farmer 1:08:57
Oh, my God. Like that's where you're checking your energy, that's where they're checking their aura. That's where they're checking on their surrender. You know, because I've seen the power and I've gone through that so I've seen the freedom when we surrender what we think we know into something bigger than ourselves.

Alex Ferrari 1:09:15
But the thing that I agree with you, okay, but the thing is that when you surrender yourself to an organization. Yeah, that is doesn't have arguably your best intentions. It's all about control. It's all about this and money and all of that stuff, which I always find. And I don't know if have you had a chance to go to the Vatican?

Jennifer Farmer 1:09:34
I have not. That's one place I haven't gone yet.

Alex Ferrari 1:09:36
So if you, if you ever do go, there's two things you want to do one you go to the Vatican Museum, which is right next door to the to St Peter's Basilica and and when you go there, the embarrassments of riches is so almost like it's it made me kind of sick, how they have so. Much stuff jammed in that it's like, you walk into one room and there's 500 statues that been stolen from around the world. All this is stolen stuff, obviously, unless it's Roman, it's stolen from another culture. And you're walking around and you're just sitting there, like, what is happening. And then you go into inside the Vatican. And not the Vatican, but you go inside St Peter's Basilica, and you walk in, and you're just like, there's walls of gold, yeah. And in the Vatican, gold, gold, gold, like gold, gold, not gold plated. Gold. So much money, so much power, so much like you just sit there going, my and I still remember standing in front of St Peter's Basilica in a pretty empty courtyard, when we went, was quiet, and I just sat there go, this has nothing to do with Jesus, yeah, that was the first that was like, That hit me so hard. I was like, my god, this has nothing to do with him. Yeah, has nothing to do. It's kind of like that scene from last The Last Crusade, the Indiana Jones scene, yeah, where they go and they look for the the cup of Christ, and the Nazis going after the the gold talents and everything. And it's all about the and if you look behind you, there is, that's the that's the Holy Grail. That is the holy grail from Last Crusade. And he's like, No, it's a cup and a carpenter sons cup, right? But that is a perfect example of what it was. It's a simple cup made of wood, as opposed to a gold encrusted that's all man put that stuff there.

Jennifer Farmer 1:11:44
I kind of had that feeling. I remember our Lady when I was on my questioning my beliefs. She goes, Jennifer, there was no paper when the Bible was written. Oh, I said, You mean it's like the telephone game? Somebody says one thing, they write it down, but what they thought they heard is something else. So now here's this. It goes because there's no paper there, and I go, Oh, and so I'd have little tidbits along the way that, you know it's okay to explore different philosophies and beliefs. It's funny because you knew about Buddhism and Hindus. I knew there was a Catholic church that we was a sacred church.

Alex Ferrari 1:12:20
I had an Indian friend. Oh, see, so he opened me up to Hinduism. I'm like, What is he seems like good people. Yeah. I don't understand why he's You mean he's going to hell? Because, according to you guys, he's going to Hell, yeah, yeah.

Jennifer Farmer 1:12:32
It's a coming to terms with spiritual abuse. I feel like is part of everyone's if you're called to the spiritual path, and I got to say, called, yeah, because I do feel like there are some people that are called. And I was called to do the kind of work I do now, coming from where I came

Alex Ferrari 1:12:49
You died, there's that. That's a hell of a calling.

Jennifer Farmer 1:12:53
There's that. And then I kept doing what I was going to do. But I do feel like there's a calling. And if we take that, if we listen to that, it's something deeper than ourselves calling us. If we keep learning, keep exploring, keep Of course, at this time, it's podcast. But when I was really tuned in, it was Hay House Radio, when, you know, free radio was on, and so different people would come on, and I would listen to what they have to say, and I'll say, Oh, does that resonate with me? And I learned to I learned to start asking myself, does that feel right to me? Because of what I had kind of decided that organized religion is not for me. The principles of organized religion, some of those support me Do unto others, sort of the teachers and the lessons that I've learned and that I don't have to be a part of a group to have God, but I do need a group because I'm human, and I like to have be around like minded people, because we're communal beings, sure that if we continue to listen and explore like I don't know where I'm going next, but I feel like spirit is going to open whatever doors that looks for me, but my higher Self is also with me, and that's what I feel like I do, is through passings or through depression, we can take people to, hey, there's something deeper in you, and it's you're not making it up. This is for real. Like it, this whisper that they talk about, like it, like it's a thing that's within us, and we have to nurture that. And so that's when I love the work you do is because you give people spiritual food and spiritual nourishment with spiritual teachings and ideas and concepts. And I that's exactly what I needed, coming from a very and I'm going to say closed area of like, I didn't even know there were Hindus, except if I saw something on TV, I'd be like, what's the thing on the eye? You know? And so it wasn't until I got out of my circle my box, per se. And I hope we're inspiring people to whatever book you think you've been wanting to get this year since it is a new beginning year in 2026 there is new energy coming in. For everybody to look at new beginnings and new ideas and new thoughts, to have the courage to do it. And that's what I love about your story, about being in I feel like you had courage from the very start, sort of the rebel within you from the very start, but you also had, I feel like women, and this is not a general, this is not a generation. I think some women are not taught to have their voice correct where men are. Men are taught to have a voice, to protect their family, to do make a life. Women are meant to nurture a life, and so somebody having that's what I really appreciate about my family. They didn't say, Jennifer, you can't stand on your own two feet. But they didn't say, I could either. You know, it's kind of like I had to choose. I had to sort of grab up my bootstraps and go. And that's what I think the first step in spiritual awakening is none one is, recognize what parts of your spirituality has worked for you. You know, for me, I like treating people with love, you know, I like coming with a with an authentic space that people are suffering and that you can make a difference, even if it's a smile that you know, then you begin to get quiet with yourself, and then you begin to explore different things and see that there's something great in each soul. Because even though we have what, 8 billion people on the planet now, there's 8 billion stars in the sky, everybody's got a light and that and for each light looks different. Yours is creative. Yours is in the movies and telling stories and but waking people up, and you had some really great people, healers that, you know, channelers that came on board. Oh my gosh, I saw some of the channelers Come on go, Oh, I bet my grandmother would be saying somebody is channeling Jesus. I was like, oh my heaven. We get, we get a bunch of that. I'm sure you got a few little notes.

Alex Ferrari 1:17:00
Yeah, we get, we get a couple notes on those things. But the way I always look at that stuff, because people always ask me, you think it's real, man, I'm like, Well, I wouldn't put it on the show if I didn't, but regardless of, and I'd say this with everything, yeah, whether it's psychic mediums, whether it's channelers, whether it's mystics, whether it's, you know, gurus, what, I don't care who it is. It's a quantum physicist, whatever. Does it move you? Is it helping you? Does it resonate? Is it resonate with you? I don't care what the package is. Yeah. I don't care if it's someone, if some channel is coming in there, doing some crazy stuff, oh yeah, and bringing in this message, you know, crazy in the, in this, in the scope of other people's opinion of it, I don't care what they do. Is the, is it profound? Is it helping you on your path? Is it coming from a place of love, not fear? Yeah, all of these things. So I don't really care what, yeah, I don't know,

Jennifer Farmer 1:17:56
You know, it's like, it's, you know, when I remember the first time I listened to somebody that was doing working with past the power of your past life, sure, oh my gosh, it, it was such a that was another thing I knew, that the soul was present, not just because I died, but there are moments like I'd go to Scarborough Fair and and I had, I had this vision where I knew I had been on that guillotine at 1.0 sure, you know. And but it was, but it was terrifying, right? And so it was, what those, I think, is, we're exploring this. Is it real? Well? Is it a calling? Do you still feel like you are called to make, take the next step and learn one more thing? And did that? Did that channeled mission message wake something up in you. And that's really, I think, the reason that Spirit works between two people or through I mean, we have to have the voice to feel connected to something greater than ourselves, or else we do end up, you know, little this, little that, little this.

Alex Ferrari 1:19:00
Jennifer, let me ask you, do you believe that? You know, when we all get kind of spit out into this world? Yeah, we do. You know, this is a very difficult environment. Yes, sir. I spoke to a guru the other day, and she said something so profound that it really hit me. She's like, suffering is, is part of this package, and and, and not, and not one of us gets out alive. First of all, secondly, not one of us does not have some sort of suffering or trauma or something. Yeah, throughout our lives, it's just part of being human. But she said something so profound, she was in the Vedic text, there were six, and I can't remember all six of them, but there's six sufferings, essentially, which is like you're born into this life. So one suffering is, if you don't breathe, you suffer, so that that's a constant. So if something stops you from breathing, there's a suffering. Yeah, food in. Drink, yes, without food and drink, this body is an automatic suffering machine if you don't have food or drink, yeah. And I was like, wow. And then there was three other ones I forgot, but I just thought that was so profound, as far as the that that idea was like, Oh, she's absolutely right. And people are like, oh, I want a life without suffering. Like all of us have a version of it, just different levels of it. So we're all trying to figure this out. We're thrown into into a Southern Baptist, a Catholic, a Hindu, a Muslim, a non, you know, an atheist or just nothing. And we're all told stories from people in front of us who came before us, who say this is how this all works. And I think we're all looking for a story for us to structure our life around and build a foundation from. Yes we are. Is that? Does that mean 100% whatever that story is for you, whether it's Wicca, you know, and being a witch, or more earthbound philosophies or ideas, oh, yeah, or indigenous Yes, or Hindu or Muslim or and all of it, yeah, we're all trying to figure out the story. The problem is, is that when sometimes we get these stories, we believe them in so we have, we've attached ourselves so much to the story, that if your story is different, it threatens my story, yeah, as opposed to you and I have our own stories, right? And no other story threatens my story, yeah, because I'm very comfortable in the story that I've built in my own mind, yeah, in my own foundation of this idea, which is what I talk about on the show, yeah, which is this, look what works for you? Yes, it doesn't have to be my way, right? It doesn't have to be your way, right? Whatever way you know you want to go down, and that's the beauty of this whole story. Yeah, there's 1000 paths to the same place, yeah, what do you think?

Jennifer Farmer 1:21:52
I think so. Number one, I do understand the human condition is has a propensity for suffering. It's a general statement, right? It does. So I, you know, I, I'd like to say that we don't have to suffer. That's not been my experience. I apparently have to suffer like I keep thinking, I keep so the story I have slowly, I have really practiced on this. I had a friend of mine. She's, she's in spirit now, but she'd say the last thing I let go of in life was suffering. And that really, it's powerful. It was very profound for me, because I was like, What planet are you on? You know, for me, it's either suffering from mental like, you know, self esteem issues, or because I don't have the suffering. I have food, I have shelter, I have a purpose, you know, now I'm dealing with, you know, living of a certain age, you have other sufferings, like you know, can you know, show your shoulder hurt, your food hurt. You know, there's girl preach, nobody warns us. After 50, the warranty runs out. And so now is, am I going to so the bigger picture about and this is what I loved about Joe dispenzas work, and I'll tell you why I love Joe Dispenza. Number one, I always believe in transformation. Wherever you are in your life, you can, you as a spiritual being with intention, can transform your life. Now, it may not be instant, but if you start on, you can, you can recreate your life at any minute, either with a story, a behavior, a habit, or attitude 100% and I believe that's the gift of human I believe it's also the gift of us having our brains, and we were given intellect. And so we do have that power, but we also have it as a soul. Our souls can transform, so we can reincarnate our own life. I still haven't got to the place that life I'm trying to get for me personally, trying to work on, do I have to suffer for it to have meaning?

Alex Ferrari 1:24:06
No, yeah, agreed,

Jennifer Farmer 1:24:09
And that's I've gotten better with that, right? Like, but I use it with like, My shoulder hurts. Like, do I have, does my life have to feel more connected because I have shoulder pain and now I healed it. Can I just have shoulder pain and still be okay, right? And so I think that they're humans. We were taught in church now, in our generation, in our dogma, it was, it was from the first breath we took. You're a sin. So I think at some level, but maybe not your children. See, your children weren't raised that way, so they may not have where you and I instinctively think, Well, we're here to suffer to make a point, or you can only show transformation through this, where it may be harder for you and I to get past that deeper. Story where your children, you didn't raise them that way, so they don't. And some people may call that entitled, that now they are entitled because, you know, they have everything else that they need, but maybe they chose that they didn't have, that they didn't want to suffer. Just see, I feel like it's about attitude is altitude, and when we think we have to suffer, that's exactly what we're going to do, absolutely right? Do we have basic needs that, if we go without it? Yes, but I do believe that's what you're and I'd be curious what that, what your guru was talking about, that was there, is that, like the option, the, you know, even in Buddhism, in Buddhism, letting go of the attachment, like the you know that we get suffering because of an attachment to something, either an idea, a person, place, idea. For us, it's all about ideas and beliefs.

Alex Ferrari 1:25:50
The and now we're going into a deeper conversation. I believe, I believe, though, that what the Buddhists are trying to say they're not wrong, yeah, but by doing what the Buddha is saying in those moments, I don't know how you work through life, yeah? Like, I don't understand. How do you walk life, yeah, unless you literally are a monk. Like, you have to interact with another human being. You have to, you have to, you know, do you have ambitions? Do you want to build a business, you want to have children. So, like a lot of those ideas are beautiful and they're absolutely correct. It's a choice on how you want to move. Now, can you have elements of that and still live in life? That's another thing. So a lot of the older ideas were were set up at those times. I'm not saying that whatever Buddha and Jesus said, Don't apply now. I'm not saying that at all. I think you could take elements of all of that, but you have to understand that there's also just, even if you have positive thinking and and you would try and you bring in beautiful things to your life, you are still going to deal with this world regardless.

Jennifer Farmer 1:26:59
The physical dimension is not easy. So how often do you change your story?

Alex Ferrari 1:27:03
Almost daily. It's so I wanted to make it clear, though some of the most profound spiritual things that have happened to me were without struggle.

Jennifer Farmer 1:27:14
Yeah, hello, right.

Alex Ferrari 1:27:16
It was out. I didn't have to die. Yeah, I didn't have to be tortured or in pain to get it. So I'm not saying that you have to struggle to get some sort of epiphany or something like that.

Jennifer Farmer 1:27:28
We don't have to get hung on the cross.

Alex Ferrari 1:27:31
We do not. Much of it has happened in meditation, yeah, many of other times I've been in spiritual places that things have happened without any pain involved, any struggle involved, some of it's been very open, yeah. Now, with that said, some of the most traumatic and painful things in my life have been some of my greatest teachers.

Jennifer Farmer 1:27:52
Teachers, yes, yeah, I like that. That's I like that

Alex Ferrari 1:27:55
It is it has been one of my greatest teachers, whether that be relationships, whether that be interactions with other people, whether that be situations, when you know, I don't know if you know, I almost made a $20 million movie for the mob when I was 26 I wrote a whole book about it, and you're here, and I was tortured for like, toward, literally, life threatened on a daily basis for a year a 26 year old. So I went through that, but now I have a lot of love for that situation because of what it did for me, but it was arguably some of the most, probably one of the most dramatic things ever happened to me. Terrifying. Yeah, it was, it was horrible, and it took me years, decades, honestly, to get over it. But, but I'm grateful for it, because it made me who I am, and it's honestly one of the reasons I do the work that I do now is because of that scenario. So you have to kind of look at that. And now, as we get older and the wheel has come off a little bit, there's things that, like, my daughter came to me the other day. She's like, my back hurts. I'm like, shut up. Just shut up. Your back does not hurt. You're too young for that. Stop it. She's like, Oh, my back. I'm like, stop it. Stop it. But now that things are you start looking at the beauty in this. You have to because, yeah, things are hurting you. Like, okay, what? What is this trying to teach me? What am I dealing with here? What is the story behind this? Because we all go through it, every one of us now, some of our us are gonna go like, I've never really drank in my life. I've never done any, I've never any done drugs in my life. For you, it's just something that I just, yeah, I tried. I didn't try to do drugs, but I tried to drink. It just didn't, didn't sit with you energetically. My body just rejected it. I literally went to Napa Valley looking for Wow, good for you. And I just couldn't it was just not part of my experience in this life. I've had other issues and I've had other journeys and things to go over, but that wasn't one of the things that I had to deal with in this life, but as I've gone through my my journey, and trust me, there were times I really like, I was like, Man, I wish I drank.

Jennifer Farmer 1:29:57
I wish you drank, yes,

Alex Ferrari 1:29:58
Or I wish I did some relief. Right? My God, I get it. I get it. I was looking and I tried and I and my body was like, Nope.

Jennifer Farmer 1:30:05
Well, I think that suffering. I do believe there is a fact of suffering in the human existence. We do. I do feel like, you know, I kind of look at my elders that have gone before me, not necessarily spiritual gurus, but I look at Betty. She died at 92 and this woman was teaching, you know, English as a second language, and she was in her mid 80s, right? And she, you know, I see her moving along physically and her faith and her spirituality, and how that keeps her going. I think spirituality improves the story. Oh, no question, right? Because then I see your framework, the plans, yeah, and then I look at, you know, other people in my life who physically have, you know, have every human illness that you have to deal with, but they also, you know, thank God. Thank God hates them. And that experience, when I look at two people right here, whom I love greatly, I have taken great. And this is something that I learned, is watching other people's experience, and then I can decide, Is that the kind of experience I want for myself, or can I choose it different? So I always talk about my mom. She loved to spend money. Okay? She died with lots of credit card bills. I go, Mama, I can't have that life. So now I learned from her what I don't want to do, and I think that we can learn that from spirituality. Same thing with us choosing to move beyond our religions upbringing. We we look at they who we want to be like, and I think that's the gift in our in our souls path, that yes, we do have suffering, we but we can have a choice and how we approach it, just like you said, What is this giving to me? What is this bringing in my life? You know, it took me a long time to realize that I could still be comfortable in myself with physical pain. I've had two back surgeries, you know, major shoulder problems, and I probably spent six months whining and grumbling about all that. I'm like, Oh, that. The truth is, it's not going anywhere, right? So now, in my spirituality, can I choose to enjoy or have moments in my life that I'm not so focused on the problem? Can I look beyond that? You know, Wayne Dyer used to talk about, you know, when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change, which I think is instrumental in when you talk about spiritual principles, because you talk about big things here, you talk about, you know, the Egyptians and, you know, the deep thinkers, but I always think about the practical spirituality. I get up in the day. I got phone calls to make. I got to figure out my health insurance. I've got to worry about my kid. Can I afford to get him to college, or I'm in a job that I hate? Right? How can you find your soul and your soul's purpose in that, and I feel like that those moments are where we bring our soul to it, to help us change the way we're looking at things. So an example would be like, well, maybe your child isn't supposed to go to college. Maybe they're not college type. Maybe they're going to be entrepreneurs, and so now you encourage them to be independents and to walk a different path. And that's your spiritual gift to your child, not that you feel bad that you can't send your kid to college. It's no you don't feel guilty, you know, because I can't send my child to college, I'm looking for this just child's strengths, where they have what they can do, and decide, do you want to go into $100,000 debt? Okay, so let's try it this way first, and this is what you're good at. So trying to see the best in situation isn't just positive thinking. I think it's a spiritual discipline to stop even with Positive Intelligence. Talks about that with, oh gosh, Sherzad, I love I do a lot of mental work to keep my spirituality up is, you know, to keep the cobwebs out, but to really change the way I think, because you come for where we come when we're born bad. Sometimes we spend half of our lives finding out that we're not bad, that we're beautiful beings. But sometimes those old ideas, the program is in there, yeah, will come up. And so, suffering, you know, I'd like to get to where my wonderful friend Mary Lou, she was great, Jennifer, I've just given up suffering. I'm like, how does that happen?

Alex Ferrari 1:34:34
How's that working? Can I have two of those please?

Jennifer Farmer 1:34:36
Exactly! And so I've practiced it with a few things, like, can I let this, like, focus problem, go today and just choose the attitude of, like, it's going to work itself out. I can. I'm going to have it. It's good, not going anywhere. So how do I want to handle it? And I think that sometimes is our sort of pragmatic spirituality is, can we be at peace? Can we be in our higher self with all. These outside circumstances. And the answer is yes, but you have to have spend time to nurture the stillness in that and recognize and I think that's what a lot about, what the Indian traditions talk about suffering, and you look at their countries and how how much love they have. And I don't know if it was your show that I watched, but they had an Indian physicist Come on. And they were talking about the advantage of all the people that sleep together, families sleep together, and how that neuropathically changes things. Well, we don't do that in this country, right? That, you know, everybody gets their own bed, right? But this doctor talked about, you know, where I look at it and say, oh my gosh, they have, they all live in one room, and I feel like they're suffering, and they're not suffering, because they all get to hang out and be together all day long, and they're doing working for see, it's that kind of thing where it's the story is that you and I just have, you know, religious stories that we overcome, and I like that you are recovering, but you have the best parts of your Catholicism stayed with you because it gave you having inspiration to do something for others.

Alex Ferrari 1:36:07
Yeah. I mean, yeah, that the that religion opened me up to basic core concepts that I kind of had to dig out of all the crap that was that came with. But I was able to, you know, looking back at it, but I was, Oh, my God, so angry, yeah, so angry about it, all, you know. But then you start, you know, the one thing that people keep for, don't talk about often, is the Lost gods. No, the gods that came prior to Buddha and Jesus. Yeah, there were many, many, many, many, many gods, Zeus, Oh, yeah. Oh, my son will talk about Zeus. Oh, Zeus and Apollo, and that's just two, but there's the Egyptians, yeah, and the Sumerians, and all these were gods. Yeah, you know, these were, these were gods that humanity at that time. That was the end, that was the stories that they were going around. So if you start thinking about that, you're like, Well, if there's only the one, yeah, the one dude, because it always is a dude.

Jennifer Farmer 1:37:14
It's always about, what about Quan Yin, though? Because, you know, I know, like, you know, she may not be a god, but a god is, oh, there's Mother Mary, yeah, there's Mary Magdalene. Mother, Mary, mother, Mary Magdalene. I'll call on her when we got children problems.

Alex Ferrari 1:37:29
There's a there's there. They're making a comeback the female Ascended Masters. But there was this time that that. It was prior to Buddha, prior to Christ, yeah, and what happened to those? So it's just different stories at different times. And there was a Buddha, there was a Christ, there was a Mohammed, there was a Austrian good word that's, there's so many different you know, obviously Krishna and and all of the so there are all these gods, but they're just different flavors, different stories, different stories going to the same place, and people who get caught up in their own story, yeah, you know you have to as and I think that's probably one of the reasons I came in as a filmmaker, is in a lover of story, because it trained me to see the story in all things,

Jennifer Farmer 1:38:18
Yeah, that's pretty profound. Like, I'm gonna take that with me, like, what story are they telling themselves? And I know that, um, you know, when I started to explore one of the first symbols that came a lot in my world, which I had, like, I would see the Egyptian cats everywhere, and I'd be like, what's this? And, and I would look it up, you know, and, or I would, you know, I'd get it be drawn to it. I learned early on, what am I drawn to? You know, go to a store, you know. It's how I learned to sort of tune into what my soul was calling me to write. Some people use oracle cards. Some people use symbols. And for me, spirituality had to come physical and then to this, you know, to the to the confidence of what's going on. But I remember, I, you know, early on, when I was sort of stepping out and reading energy and reading channeling and and reading, you know, different kinds of philosophies, and going to the monks house and going to the Hari Krishnas and just how, what are they doing? Sometimes, I was looking for a shortcut, but I got introduced to different like, what you're talking about, but you're 100% right. Like, I don't see books about Zeus somewhere on, you know, unless you're in Greek mythology,

Alex Ferrari 1:39:35
It's considered completely a myth, yeah. And I promise you, I don't know, maybe in 1000 years, maybe in 5000 years from now, all these guys that were on these walls, all these and the females as well, they'll all be looked upon as myth.

Jennifer Farmer 1:39:54
You know, it's great though. I think they all, I think if you were to, like, sum them up, and you know. And in one thing is you know to thine own self be true, like even if you were to look you know you've you're being guided to some of them, it's helped us. It they're all here to help us find our own inner truth, of our souls, calling or destiny our own frequency, so that we can be spiritually connected to those around us, and we need that more. I always laugh about, there's so much division now,

Alex Ferrari 1:40:31
Isn't it funny that imagine, I've thought about this, I think this would be, I don't know if it would be funny, but I think it could be something, let's say, let's say, 500 years, 1000 years, yeah, and something happens. And a lot of the stuff that we know now, all our information is gone. Well, what survives is this, yeah, for whatever reason, Star Wars survives. Oh, love Star Wars. So, but imagine, but imagine, somewhere someone finds a story of Yoda, yeah, of the force, yeah, of all of the spiritual aspects of that and that, the that they look at the movies, yeah, as actual, oh, my God, this actually happened. Yeah, they wouldn't know the difference. I'm just throwing it, oh, I think it's, wouldn't that be interesting that now, 500 years from now, what you know, a filmmaker named George Lucas put together literally becomes a world religion. I'm just throwing it out there. And then another group finds some Superman comics. Oh, yeah, who is Christ, essentially. I mean, that's, it's literally Christ

Jennifer Farmer 1:41:42
All the multi universes,

Alex Ferrari 1:41:44
Obviously that. And then some other group finds the matrix, and now all of a sudden Neo is in. This whole idea starts to come up. So there's because they're just stories, yeah, and they're really good. Those three are really good characters, good story lines, you know? And then the dark person would be Batman. And, I mean, you know that you could just go, but how is that differ from all the stories that we've been told for all these other religions? I mean, you see, I'm just trying to,

Jennifer Farmer 1:42:13
Oh, I get it,

Alex Ferrari 1:42:14
Because at the end of the day, it's just, it's a story,

Jennifer Farmer 1:42:16
And that's what I think is so profound about movie making. Yeah, I remember years ago. You remember when AI came out, oh, the original, the original, right? And, you know, people were like, Oh, it's too out there. And I said, so that wasn't like, Art imitates life. So your story, and I do believe that, and that's what I always, I'm always now, been on this earth and this soul long enough, I was kind of watch what movies are doing and what TV shows are doing. You know, not necessarily the, you know, the crime scene investigators, sure, which those are fun. I love to figure some stuff out, sure. But I think more of the Star Wars, the Marvel, the Marvel comp, but, but also some of the political movies that came out years ago, wag the dog, and then here we are. And I always, I'm always paying attention, not that, not that filmmakers are, are gods, but you have a capacity to get information in your creative process, just like Steven Spielberg did that. Here we are, 20 years later, probably 25 now, 25 years later. And so these new movies that are coming out, I always kind of what what theme is behind that, because it sort of prepares me now, since I now say, have seen AI come to life in this lifetime through chat, GPT and some other pieces, which is basically just not the robot, it's just not the human. But, yeah, it's going to happen. It's what we're hearing, is the voice of that. And I always pay attention to, you know, what are the, what are the stories we want to leave behind for our children? You know, I was in thinking about this, I'd say, you know, my four year old grandson, you know, what would I want him to know sure you know about spirituality and and about, you know, what your purpose is here, and what story do you want to have told? And I had to really think about that, and I would just want him to believe in himself and to trust that his own soul is going to take him to a path far beyond what he thinks is possible. He just has to reach for the bigger dreams.

Alex Ferrari 1:44:35
That's beautiful. That's beautiful. Yeah, so, Jennifer, where can people find out more about you and the amazing work you're doing?

Jennifer Farmer 1:44:42
Oh, you're so sweet. jenniferfarmer.com we talked about a lot of stuff that we don't talk about in my world, and so this has been very exciting jenniferfarmer.com I have my website's up. You can see all the events I've got going on I'm doing messages from the spirit world coming up. I have all the events and stuff I love to do event things, you know, with people and to help get them on their path. Beautiful. I hope this has been helpful for your audience today.

Alex Ferrari 1:45:12
Yeah, it's been, it's been a wonderful conversation. I mean, we, we, you know, we obviously started with the near death experience, but it turned into a much deeper spiritual conversation that I think people need to hear. Well, this was created because someone needs to hear it, yes, so whoever's listening and it's resonating with them is like, Well, we did this for you, yeah, essentially.

Jennifer Farmer 1:45:31
And I think with the religious piece and how that fits into spirituality, I do believe that with all the division that's going on in our world today, and how we're in the what I call the two energy. We're in the 2020s we're in that time people are more sensitive to anxiety and to fear. And this is a time where, if you were ever going to work on your spiritual truth and your spiritual power, this is the time to make it a priority, because you're the sort of vision of your own pathway, and you don't want to be pulled in by everything and all the distractions out that outside. You want to be able to stay within yourself and be the center of that experience in a calm way, knowing your soul will guide you on where their mission may be. And I think that's always kind of like, wow, we need church more than ever, but we need a different kind of church, and we need everybody to, you know, find a common truth, and it won't be with spirituality or politics, but I hope that the souls that are open will find the people in their path and share the story of love and connection and that, that there's great power in that, even so, you know, helping other people with food and shelter. And you know, a lot of the human problems haven't changed and so, but the spirituality time is now for us to do it.

Alex Ferrari 1:47:00
Jennifer, it's been a pleasure talking to you. Thank you so much for coming out and for being here and for helping awaken this planet. Thank you!

Jennifer Farmer 1:48:08
Oh, love it. Thank you so much.