Train Your Mind: Understanding Synchronicity Will Change Your Life with Dr. Bernard Beitman

Dr. Bernard Beitman graduated from Mount Pleasant High School in Wilmington, Delaware in 1960 at #5 Grade Point Average. He majored in Chemistry at Swarthmore College and was one of two outstanding pre-medical students. He attended Yale Medical School graduating in 1964. He did his one-year general medicine internship at Mount Zion Medical Center in San Francisco and then completed the three-year psychiatric residency at Stanford in 1974 after working in the U.S Public Health Service Hospital in San Francisco from 1971-1973 as the hospital’s psychiatrist.

He then joined the faculty of the department of psychiatry at the University of Washington in Seattle. After ten years there he was denied tenure and then joined the faculty at the University of Missouri-Columbia, where he became a world leader in the study of chest pain and panic disorder which led to his becoming chair of the psychiatry department. (A door closes, and a big window opens.) Building on his book The Structure of Individual Psychotherapy, he created the book Learning Psychotherapy which was taught to half the psychiatric residency training programs in the United States. In 2006 he started formal research into coincidences and then, in 2009, moved to Charlottesville, Virginia, to join the Division of Perceptual Studies of the University of Virginia, which supported his coincidence work as a non-paid faculty member. As a “recovering academic,” he led the development of The Coincidence Project.

Please enjoy my conversation with Dr. Bernard Beitman.

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Follow Along with the Transcript – Episode 243

Dr. Bernard Beitman 0:00
Sometimes you can connect with someone. And they have a similar energy to yours or they have a different resonant pattern and maybe a higher frequency, but it's the same resonance, like different chords that have the same sound, similar sound to them. And so you can vibrate with somebody and on the dance floor, you see that more often than I see that more often than anyplace else, but it happens other places.

Alex Ferrari 0:25
I'd like to welcome to the show, Bernard Beitman. How you doing Bernard?

Dr. Bernard Beitman 0:38
Very well. Thank you, Alex!

Alex Ferrari 0:40
Thank you so much for coming on the show. I'm excited to have you on to talk about your new book, Meaningful Coincidences, and synchronicity and serendipity and all this amazing stuff that we kind of know about. But we really don't get deep into the weeds about this stuff. Because a lot of it's kind of woowoo a lot of it's kind of like, ah, with that, there's no such thing as coincidence. So there's no such thing. So I I'm really dying to talk to you about this. So my first question to you is my friend, how did you become an expert in something as esoteric as coincidences?

Dr. Bernard Beitman 1:17
Becoming an expert. Some people think takes 10,000 hours. Yes. So I put in the time, I didn't, I didn't punch the clock. But I've been thinking about this for a long time, starting when I was eight, or nine. But the the main main reason I'm doing this is not so much like the causal thank chain that led me to here. And I'll tell you, as many stories as you want to hear, I've got a bunch of them myself. But the reason I'm doing it is because I had a sense. And I have it even more that the world needs to be more tuned in to the weird stuff that commonly happens. Weird coincidences commonly happen, and they can be very useful. And they can tell us how reality works. And we need the help, all the help we can get right now. And we need to figure out what's going on around here. Because they didn't tell me I went to fancy schools, Yale and Stanford. But I knew they weren't telling me something. And this isn't kind of this is a way of figuring out what's going on out here. And trying to help not only human beings, but a human connection to nature, to Gaia, to this world, this earth that we're a part of. So it's a teleological thing that Jung was interested in, I'm drawn to a future that I'm trying to be able to help develop.

Alex Ferrari 2:42
Well, then what is so let's get right to it. What is your definition of a coincidence?

Dr. Bernard Beitman 2:47
a coincidence is the coming together of two, usually two events that have some meaning in common, but are that aren't obviously causally related. So they cross. They surprise you, you make you wonder about them, because they seem to be related to each other. But you don't know what caused them.

Alex Ferrari 3:09
So like a perfect example is, I'll just use my podcast as an example, all of a sudden, I'm on YouTube. And coincidentally, I see a video of a guy talking about coincidences. And then I go, Hey, that'd be kind of interesting to talk about that. And all of a sudden, I call you, you come on my show, and you come on my show. And then you and I get talking after the show. And I've been wanting to talk to this one person. And you go, Oh, he's my best friend. Do you want me to connect you? And I go yet, by the way, this is not real. And that's that's exactly.

Dr. Bernard Beitman 3:42
I like the story.

Alex Ferrari 3:44
And then all of a sudden, oh, God went to school with him. He's my best friend. He'll do anything for me. What do you want? You want to run your show here, boom. And I'll get you an email connect you. That has happened to me multiple times in over 1000 episodes, I've done a podcast. So it just happens that way. And from no real direct connection, like you and I will be talking you're like, yeah, so I was talking to Oliver Stone the other day. I'm like, I'm sorry. You were what? Oh, yeah, I went to school with him. Did I tell you about that? Things like that. And then all of a sudden, Oliver's on my show in a week or two things like that happen. So it's really interesting. So it's that kind of what you're talking about?

Dr. Bernard Beitman 4:19
Of course, of course and it's it's it's more advanced Alex than the base level that I've tried to write the book on, because you you are in your in what you just taught told me a high frequency coincide or you have lots of coincidences, a call inside or someone who experiences coincidences. And the more you have them, the more you will have them. It's a it's a domino effect that keeps going and that's what you just described. Part of it, is I have my own podcast too. And it's getting easier to find people because they kind of show up. Not as good as Oliver Stone. I got it.

Alex Ferrari 5:01
I just threw that name out there. Please forgive me.

Dr. Bernard Beitman 5:03
Okay. But you did interview Oliver Stone?

Alex Ferrari 5:06
I did I did a while ago. Yes!

Dr. Bernard Beitman 5:08
I mean that that's I had I had to work at to get Deepak Chopra on my mind I had, I had a pulic a couple of years in there as to be able to make that happen. But as part of of this way we're talking, which I love it we're doing is that I got to Deepak because I was an intern in San Francisco in the late 60s 1968. And as an intern, we had to get up what was too early for me, it's 7:30 in the morning, I didn't like that. So I kind of wandered into like the first meeting, which was like breakfast. And we were gonna get to know each other. So I kind of wonder and kind of Dopey and I sit down, and some guy taps me on the shoulder and says, and you're sitting in my seat. So it was a bald headed guy with a plate of scrambled eggs on him. And he said, my name is Andrew Weil. So I said,

Alex Ferrari 6:05
Okay, we're gonna have to talk after the show, because I need to talk to Andrew and I need to talk to Deepak. And I already know where the connections are going, and you need it, then, of course, it all it all worked out after that, isn't it? But it's fascinating, these kinds of ideas, these kinds of coincidences is like, Oh, I know this person. Or I know that person. You know, and I have 1000s of stories like that that's happened to me over my life. But you said something really interesting. You said someone high vibration. So for people don't understand that. Can you explain what that means, because I understand what you mean. But I'd love to, if you can explain it to people who don't get

Dr. Bernard Beitman 6:42
I didn't say high vibration when I said high frequency, insider, but you're right about the vibrational thing. There's something about our energy. And I mean, I assume your audience, at least a lot of them believe that each of us has an energy around us. And I like to think that we each have an energy signature, a basic vibration, like our fingerprints, the difference being sometimes you can connect with someone, and they have a similar energy to yours, or they have a different resonant pattern, it may be a higher frequency, but it's the same resonance, like different chords that have the same sound, similar sound to them. And so you can vibrate with somebody and on the dance floor, you see that more often than I see that more often than anyplace else, but it happens other places. So what we're talking about here is getting into a coherent pattern. And let me say it's around a certain need. We each as podcasters, have a need to keep running them through running, I gotta find the next one. How far out am I gonna go? Is it going to be through May it May or June, I gotta get out there for that. Or we have to get new minds in there that we find interesting, and fit with what we're doing. And so within that need, and it's important to recognize that need is a big driver of coincidences. When you need something that does something to your energy, and your alertness and to the what's around you. It seems to help what you need come to you

Alex Ferrari 8:23
What let me ask you this then with with that idea. When you're trying to get a job, or you're trying to meet a girl or a guy depending on you know, if you're a guy or girl, there are there are energy, like frequency levels that are at a higher level than you might be even whether that be spiritually or mentally, whatever that is. So if you're just starting out your podcast, and please everyone, forgive us for using the podcast sample, but it's a great it's a great example. So if you're just have episode one, and you're trying to go after Steven Spielberg, his needs or wants do not match your ability to service his needs or wants or even if he wasn't trying to sell anything, just the conversation alone, depending on who that person is, would have to match the guests that they're trying to get. And this works with jobs. This worked with relationships, this works with business partners, this works with everything. I'm not going to walk up to Mark Cuban Mark Cuban is going to knock on my door generally speaking, but when you get to a certain place vibrationally or frequency wise, those kinds of people start to circle around you. And then they it becomes more is easier to get to them. Have you found that to be true in your life?

Dr. Bernard Beitman 9:42
Definitely. One way I've thought about this, I only get the challenges that I can match that I can meet at this time. But I have to evolve you have to evolve with I've had now maybe 300 podcasts myself, and you get used to do doing this? Oh yeah. And it's fun, especially when you get a lot of fun people to, to interact with. It's one of the ways of, you know, you can pick people that are really cool and awesome. Say yes. And you kind of lash, okay, and you have a fun conversation. But you have to be able to be loose enough to be able to do it. That first podcast I did was like, it'd be maybe I interviewed my most the most famous person I knew, which was me. So I talked about myself, for the first couple of ones just to introduce myself, and to get going with it. Now I've become pretty well known in the synchronicity world, and acknowledged for being one of the most knowledgeable people about the the meaningful coincidence thing. So it's easier to be able to get people to be on the show who are at a higher frequency, who have more going on with them, because they like talking with me too, because it's a dialogue. And we learn from each other. And it just gets more and more fun. It just just gets more and more fun.

Alex Ferrari 11:10
Without question my friend. So then you use the word synchronicity, and that's a word that's thrown around a lot. What is your definition of synchronicity?

Dr. Bernard Beitman 11:17
So you have asked me is the important question. So we will do the definitions here. Now. Yes, please do the definitions. The title of my book, meaningful coincidences has serendipity and synchronicity in it. And the reason it has both of them in it is because they are forms of meaningful coincidences. Remember how I defined a meaningful coincidence is two events on apparently unrelated but have some kind of meaning in common, that usually create a surprise that all four of these things that I write in my book fit that category? And I don't know if you're, if you've seen it, in LA, or in Austin, but some people just love the word synchronicity and apply it to almost every coincidence. Yes, some some people not so much in the United States like serendipity. And they call all these things serendipity. And so the terms have come to be somewhat ambiguously defined, but I'll define them as clearly as I can, but people are still going to use the word the way they wanted to Sure. Synchronicity is a term coined by Carl Jung. And if you're interested in words, I am Alex to see I think words evolve and you must be because you have to do a lot of yapping with people. Synchronicity does not did not mean meaningful coincidences to Carl Jung. He used the word synchronicity as a principle to explain meaningful coincidences, but not be the name of meaningful coincidences. Synchronicity wasn't a causal connecting principle, by which he meant the Mitu were shared meanings is what brought them together. It's really a way of thinking that there's got to be something different from regular causal explanations is why he did it. But he didn't know anything about quantum physics to come up with and because he was a psychiatrist as I am. And did psychotherapy as I do. He was very interested in synchronicity as a psychological help, as an interpersonal help, and as a spiritual help, and synchronicity tends to be all three of those. And the people use the word synchronicity can to be in the more spiritual direction.

Alex Ferrari 13:42
So synchronicity in general, is is a concept that I've heard in the spiritual world, multiple times that the whole world has synchronicities in it, that we are which leads me to another question that we are we creating the coincidences in the in the synchronicities in our lives, purely by the reality that we're creating with our own mind? Our thoughts are so on and you said something earlier you said your need is a driving force to synchronicity. So is that what draw helps drive put this all together with basically what we're creating with her online.

Dr. Bernard Beitman 14:15
The key word of what you said Alex, is helps. If we think about explanations for synchronicity, meaningful coincidence, in general, there's a probability that they will happen. Statisticians claim that that probability explains everything that that that statistics is all you need to explain synchronicity and, and their favorite thing is in in large populations, weird stuff is about will happen. I'd be surprised if it didn't. There's some truth to vet. So there is a statistical truth, but it's not the whole thing. On the other end. There are those who know the universe did it or God Divine or the greater consciousness, but the universe is the very popular one right now. The Universe mer made this happen. And I'm so glad that you bring in personal agency. Because a lot of people don't want to be responsible for what they do. Talking Shop shocking, a shocking I mean, part of my business as a therapist is a What did you have to do with this? It was his fault. Okay, well, I have to get over that one. There is a degree of personal responsibility and all of them, but that varies. And then there is mystery. I won't call it God necessarily. People use their own words for that. But mystery is all around us. There is something else going on around here. You know what I know it, we got to put a label on it to feel like we're in control of it. So there's mystery. There's us doing it. And there is probability that contribute to each of these coincidences.

Alex Ferrari 16:01
So I just have to tell you, because I completely 110% believe in going in synchronicities and coincidences. I don't believe there's coincidence. I believe that it's just the universe doing what it does to help us along our path. A synchronicity is a better term that I will use, but that's my own personal preference.

Dr. Bernard Beitman 16:20
Well, let's, let's stop with that for a minute. Because that's really important. And a lot of people say the same thing. I don't believe in coincidences. I mean, you believe you got headphones on? I do. These things happen out there.

Alex Ferrari 16:37
Right. But it's a term, it's a terminology difference, I think.

Dr. Bernard Beitman 16:41
You're you're you're talking about a key part of the definition of coincidence. Yes. Once a cause is, once you find a cause. Remember, I talked about you don't know what the cause is? Once you find a cause? There is no longer a coincidence. And if you know, as you are saying that the universe is doing it, then there's no coincidences, right? There are no coincidences code, the universe is doing it. And you have nothing to do with it. And I think you have something to do with it. That's fine. That's where we differ.

Alex Ferrari 17:16
I think I think I understand your point of view. And I agree with you. So I'll give you an example. There was one day when I was in my 20s that I was about to go bankrupt, was a few days away from filing, literally signing paperwork, no fun, no fun at all. It was it was one of the darkest times in my life. And I yelled out to the universe, and I said, God, I want to pay my bills. And if you don't help me, I'm going to sign this paperwork because I have to protect myself. But I'm willing to work. If you give me the opportunity. The next day, my very first boss ever calls me up and goes, Hey, I hear they're looking for an editor. Up north, I already gave him your name. All you have to do is show up with it with your demo reel and your job. You got the job, almost. And I did and I got the job next day. What are the chances? And by the way, I hadn't talked to this man. In years. He just shot me out of the blue. This this phone call? Isn't? How is that? How can someone tell me that there is no coincidence? There is no synchronicity that it's

Dr. Bernard Beitman 18:26
There are there is some there are coincidences. Yes, there are there are meaningful. And this coincidence was Alex yelling a god. And people do that in various ways. I'm suggesting that if you had not asked for that, and we should do the experiment, it wouldn't have happened. Agree I would agree with you. So that, that thrown from that need out. And I have an idea about how that works. I mean, it's only the beginning of an idea. I think there's something called the psycho sphere, which is our mental atmosphere. And the ionosphere is pretty high up. And it's it's a bunch of positive negative ions that help protect us from some of the sun's negative radiation. And there's the Earth's crust, and there's this cavity between the ionosphere and the Earth's crust. In that crust. They're lightning bolts going up and down all the time. And the frequency of that those lightning bolts creates a curve a sine wave an energy pattern called the Schumann resonance. And the Schumann Resonance is about 7.8 hertz, it's getting a little faster now. And the human brain basic hertz value is about 4.4 hertz. So they're pretty similar and both the ionosphere both both the Schumann resonance and our brains. Go to about 50 hertz. So our brains and our atmosphere around us have similar hertz frequencies. It suggests that our brains evolved in this cavity between the ionosphere and the Earth's crust. In that crust, I think is this mental atmosphere through which we communicate with each other telepathically and in other ways, and that there's information in there where the Akashic Record probably is. And there's ways that we communicate with each other, and don't really understand it. So when you sent that out, if it was able to, and this is part of what I'm trying to figure out, who was able to find a person who had a need at that moment, and was able to somehow and that's the so part of the mystery of it, contact, you knew it was you to contact, it's almost like making a telephone call to the person but you don't know you're making the call and the person calls you back.

Alex Ferrari 21:05
It's interesting, because from, from my point of view, where I've spoken to so many different spiritual masters from India and China, and all sorts of different spiritual masters from different parts of the world, they one common thing they keep saying is that, that the universe is there to help you, but you need to ask for the help, it will not impede on your free will only once you ask, you will receive what is needed on it on your path. And I found that, again, what we're talking about is very similar in that way that if you don't ask, they will not give it to you. But then I have to ask you this question. Well, how many people today? Or how many people a few weeks ago, or whenever it was when the $2 billion lottery was cooking, cooking? How many people were asking, Oh, please, please universe, let me win the $2 billion. So what is the origin energy of that request? As opposed to the request that I had? Like, I just need to get a job? Get me a job, and I will work off this debt. There's a two very different frequencies of energy that are going in that question. So is there a difference on the meaning behind it, that gives it power?

Dr. Bernard Beitman 22:25
I'm going to do a simple thing about the lottery. I think that there are people who do win the lottery a couple of times for some reason, and get the money when they need it. I think those things happen. But the lottery is a tricky one to use as an example, because it's fixed, there's only a certain number of people are going to get it it's like it's It's same as going to Las Vegas. It's it the probability is fixed, right by the guys who manufacture it. And so somebody's gonna get it, probably. But it who it is, is fairly random, fairly random. I don't say it's entirely random and random is another another question. So that statisticians like to use lotteries, as a way of saying it's all probability and the lottery. We did a lottery to get into your body and a man to my body. And it seems to be like that, or there's something else that happened. We don't know how we got here, really. But we got, we're here. But let's take your request of the universe. And I'll say in the psycho sphere, and the lottery, which is fixed on the other side and take a simpler version. I'm preparing a talk for the coincidence, project. And bio, the coincidence project is a group of people that I helped organize this and now a 5013. C, and the state of Virginia, a nonprofit. And our job is to get people to tell each other coincident stories, among other things. And so what we do is have a coincidence cafe, every third Saturday of the month on a zoom call 11 to 12:30 Eastern time for people to tell each other coincidence stories because there's a lot of people out there who feel very isolated in knowing that they have a lot of coincidences, but they can't tell the people around them because they think they're crazy. They come to us and they find for many of them a family of like minded people. So I invite your audience to go to my website coincide coi N C, Id or the coincidence to sign up for and register for the coincidence cafe. So we're trying to help people get together. And we have a weird coincidence survey there. So Alex, you want to find out how sensitive you are to coincidences. You can take the weird coincidence survey on there. But back to what we were talking about before. The talk I am giving in April, is how do you cultivate meaningful coincidences? How do you increase them, but you do it by just doing it, I mean, you just kind of having it have have happening them, and you believe that they are there to be had that that's the important part of this. If you don't believe they're gonna be there, they're not there, because you can't see him. So you have to think that they're, they're there, and you have to be able to notice them. And then you have to be able to and this is where I think what you said is so important. You have to act on them. A lot of times you show up in just the right place it just the right time. But you just were too frightened to ask that person to start talking with you. Yes, yes. And I got plenty of examples, two of them, or two people running through airports, see somebody over there and go over to that person and one person got the job, she wanted another person got the wife he wanted by be following this intuitive thing. Um, we we mentioned you human GPS earlier, which gets us to where we need to be. But as I can't emphasize more, too much, you've got to act, you've got to ask, you've got to recognize the situation. And that's the first part of it. And then you've got to act and act in the moment sometimes is all you got, and you better do it then

Alex Ferrari 26:30
Is there any any difference in the requests of why you're requesting? What you're asking for? So like, I want to date this big movie star, obviously, again, probability is very low. There's a limited amount of people who can date that movie star, you know, but something like I need a job well, there's endless amounts of jobs, the chances of that happening, if connected to the right person is a lot, why a lot wider. Same thing with our podcast. There's millions of interviewees that can come in, as opposed to like, oh, I need to talk to this just one person, then it becomes smaller of an operator, but it doesn't mean it's not possible. But again, is there any anything to be said about? Why you want to go after it? If it's, if it's egotistical? Or if it's for the better of the good? Or does even matter?

Dr. Bernard Beitman 27:17
Yes, I think there's a certain ethics here. And one of the things that we're going to have to try to do and it's kind of painful, is developed an ethics of the use of meaningful coincidences. You because they can be used in negative ways. Sure. They are used in negative ways. And one of the ways they're used is by salespeople trying to find out how we're the same and what we got in common. So they hooky into like, Oh, we're part of the same class as a part of the same group somehow. That's a kind of lightweight way of doing it. Some guy wanted to get money out of a woman he was dating who had a lot of money. Somehow he arranged it so that he went to the door of a house and knocked on it and a woman answered, and they got into an argument about how she couldn't pay the rent. And he was he was the owner of the building, apparently. And then he finally said, Okay, so right, if you if you don't pay me the rent this month, in fact, I'll write it off. At that moment, he had timed it. So the woman with the money who thought he was after her money, heard him being gracious about the, the money, so she thought maybe he's not so greedy as she thought he was. That's a tricky one man. And but that's how they can be used. One way they can be used in a negative way. So developing an ethics is a really important one, if you're going to get a job. And you've got a lot to contribute, and you know, you do, I think that really helps it to happen. But I think sometimes you can ask for things and you get them. And one of my favorite things to do is to give people what they were asking for sometimes.

Alex Ferrari 29:01
Careful with that.

Dr. Bernard Beitman 29:03
You've heard the phrase, be careful, you might get what you're looking for

Alex Ferrari 29:06
Careful what you wish for. You just might get it and

Dr. Bernard Beitman 29:10
You gotta watch to just how to negotiate all that Alex is still up in the air for defining but we're talking about the general principles.

Alex Ferrari 29:19
Well, and also to just as a idea here, and I've said this on the show before is like we generally don't know, generally speaking, don't know what's best for us. Because Because if we would get what we wanted at the time that we asked for it hindsight looking back on thank God I didn't get that job. Thank God I didn't date that person. Thank God that opportunity that I was dying to get on didn't happen. Because if it would have it would have destroyed me what a ruined my life she would use. I saw what you did to my friend or I worked I thought what he did to her and all that kind of stuff. So people shouldn't get so caught up in like I want this now because like Well, do you and how and what is it exactly that you want? Because you really, truly don't know. Because we don't see the bigger picture. All we see is the next step in front of us. But there's something that throws these other synchronicities in, and other things that happen in our lives, that when you look back and go, Oh, God, thank God, I ran into that person, or thank God, this happened. I didn't even want that. And oh, my God, it's changed my entire life. So would you would you agree with that?

Dr. Bernard Beitman 30:29
Perfectly, perfectly. Today, I interviewed on my phone, just interviewing, you can read my podcast 26 year old guy in Miami, who asked to be on the board of the coincidence project, because he went to one of our coincidence Cafe things. And I've talked to him a little bit for and we're looking for a guy that fits his profile in many different ways. We need somebody who's more conversant in serendipity than the rest of the people on the board. And he is we need a people with more global outlook, more technological savvy, than the people on the board are currently doing. He fits he fits. So I'm getting I get to expect that to happen. And the key thing again, is I have to act on it. I have to see it, and then act on it.

Alex Ferrari 31:23
Now there's a couple of terms you use in your book that were very interesting. Surreality and Simulpathity?

Dr. Bernard Beitman 31:31
You got it baby!

Alex Ferrari 31:32
It's how, what are those two words, my friend? What do they?

Dr. Bernard Beitman 31:36
We've skipped serendipity. And I'll just mention of the four of them. Serendipity is sometimes referred to as happy accidents. It's like running into a person that gives you a job. Some people will call that synchronicity. Serendipity tends to be about things and ideas and money, and jobs and health. We'd love to well love and serendipity and synchronicity, you know, that movie serendipity was, was all about love, but that they did serendipity had to get the two things come together. But you can call that synchronicity. So I'm saying there's an overlap. And you can and you can do it love. Love so many. Nevermind. Love. I'm going to I'm going to deviate into love now that you've touched my heart was you I suspect that you are a little bit like me, you are a lover? I am sir. i And that means that you you'll take romance that you would like that too. I mean, it's a wonderful drug and I

Alex Ferrari 32:43
It's a painful drug.

Dr. Bernard Beitman 32:47
The first part is really good within that

Alex Ferrari 32:51
It has a kick at the end, sir,

Dr. Bernard Beitman 32:52
Has a kick at the end. That's just play with the word heroin. Yes. That first hit of heroin is wonderful.

Alex Ferrari 33:02
Oh, yeah. The entire life falls apart.

Dr. Bernard Beitman 33:05
Then your entire life. Well, there's an analogy there's only difference is like an E on the end heroin of your life and of heroin. But one of the one of the really amazing places that synchronicity takes place and serendipity, as you're talking about is in romance. And what happens so often is, we have all these coincidences happen. And to us, this means it's meant to be it doesn't

Alex Ferrari 33:35
No. As both you and I have been around the block a couple of times, we can tell you that. Most of us are not teenagers anymore, we realize that it's not meant to be all the time. It's meant to be at that moment. And that time maybe that that season, but might not be life.

Dr. Bernard Beitman 33:55
Or that one dance is what what happens to me. And I gotta say, No, that's it. Even though I keep seeing or dance. I got it. No, not. That's it. And if it does set you up, and they do these coincidences set you up for relationship. You've got to then realize you've got to work on the relationship. And it's got to be collaborative. So I've had stories of people having fantastic synchronicities to put them together, and they thought that was enough to hold their marriage together. And it wasn't because they didn't work on it. So that's another very that's another variable in in that so we're talking about serendipity? As more practical, Lucky accidents, happy accidents. And a lot of inventions and a lot of Nobel Prize winners tell you serendipity is what they did to get there not following protocols. It was a happy accident. So there's a lot of that out there and creativity, but you ask and I like to talk about Siri reality. Siri reality is like seeing symbols of monkeys, lots of them. Maybe three a day, maybe seven a week, as one person I know very well has told me, she, these monkey, this is monkey business, if there's a monkey is playing with her, this is the wisdom of the monkey from India being able to teach her. And she sees them in books and ads and cartoons, in costumes, on all kinds of places. And each one of them has a message for her. Not in deep message some more than others. But a materiality is being able to see anybody be able to see the coincidence, the series is viewable by anybody else where with synchronicity and serendipity, it's usually a mind event and an object event. See, reality is Object Object Object Object.

Alex Ferrari 35:59
Interesting. So are those so when you see the object, so it's that kind of like, oh, I want to buy a new Tesla and and all of a sudden, all you see is Tesla's everywhere?

Dr. Bernard Beitman 36:07
That's that's priming your mind to seeing something. And that is a bit of something. But it's the same thing about being able to see coincidences, you got to prime your mind to be able to see them. The Tesla one is, I'm thinking about it. So I'm going to pick Tesla's out of what I see around me. So it's a, it's an idea that a lot of people used to say that you're just making it up. And the Tesla example, is not what I would use, because I'm not going to buy any Tesla. And I don't know about that whole business with the on musk, Musk and all that other stuff. I don't know about the car. But sure a lot of people aren't going to buy them. But the idea of thinking about them and seeing them is discriminating from your environment, what you're already thinking about.

Alex Ferrari 36:53
So then how does that differ from the monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey? Is it that they just pop up?

Dr. Bernard Beitman 36:58
So Monkey, monkey monkey is not that different. She's ready for them. But they pop up when unexpectedly, the Tesla can pop up unexpectedly, too. So you're right. There's a continuum between the two. She just got hit with a lot of monkeys early on. So she became sensitized to monkeys in her environment. So the point you're making is excellent. She's now sees them because she's been seeing them. It's true of coincidences, as a general principle. The Tesla one is a little cruder than the monkey one, and then get to your job thing. It's a whole different thing.

Alex Ferrari 37:33
So then a simulpathity?

Dr. Bernard Beitman 37:36
Simulpathity it is the experience of the pain of a loved one at a distance.

Alex Ferrari 37:42
Interesting. Can you explain please?

Dr. Bernard Beitman 37:46
Yeah, I can. The way I started with us, and this is part of the reason we're talking is in 1973, February 26, I was standing at a Victorian in a sink in a Victorian house in the Fillmore district. And it's 11pm and I was choking. I was choking uncontrollably. He was something caught in my throat and I couldn't get it out. I had never choked like that. Before, and I haven't since. I don't know how long it lasted seemed like lasted a long time. Five minutes. 10 minutes, I don't know. Eventually, it stopped. Well, that was 11pm. My father was in Wilmington, Delaware, 3000 miles away. It was 2am in Wilmington, Delaware on February 27. My father at that time was choking on his own blood. He was bleeding into his throat and choking on his own blood and dying. My father died while I was choking. Wow. I said well, too. And I tell this story to honor the memory of my father. And I add to the story that February 27 2am is when he died on February 27. February 27 is my birthday. Oh, he died on my birthday.

Alex Ferrari 39:05
So so that is simulpathity.

Dr. Bernard Beitman 39:09
That is simulpathity is feeling the pain of a loved one at a distance, the distress and pain of a loved one at a distance

Alex Ferrari 39:15
As it's happening

Dr. Bernard Beitman 39:17
As it's happening.

Alex Ferrari 39:19
How can you explain that? Can you explain that?

Dr. Bernard Beitman 39:22
Well, first I start Am I the only weird one in the world for this to happen? So I developed the weird coincidence survey to see what are the common coincidences out there and how frequently do they happen? And it's valid and reliable. Statisticians will like it for those reasons. And one of the questions was, Do you how often do you feel the pain of a loved one at a distance and some people? The answer the general answer was sometimes. So people do do that. And then I've got other data from another psychiatrist to suggest the same thing. First, I had to establish that before I wanted to explain it and maybe it helps to Explain it to tell you that there was a word for Simon pathani in the 18, late 1800s in England and other places and that word was telepathy, telepathy tele is at a distance and pathI is feeling. So telepathy, feeling pain distress at a distance is telepathy, then I got changed into more cognitive things more about thoughts. And so we needed a new term for what was originally telepathy. And I may came up with simulia, which is at the same time patiithy.

Alex Ferrari 40:36
Well, let me ask you this, I'd love to hear your, your thoughts on this. And honestly, what it is in the in this spectrum of the words that we've been talking about, I had an aunt who passed away of old age, and she, you know, we were semi close, you know, and we were very loving to each other. After that, after she passed three days later, I'm looking at, I'm going through some old VHS tapes. And all of a sudden, a video that I did not know existed, pops up. And it's her and my family at Thanksgiving dinner. And I forgot that I had shot at when I was a teenager with a borrowed handycam from my school. I was testing it out. And I didn't I remember Oh, my God, I did shoot that didn't I, and I forgot completely been 30 years. And it happened to her to three days after she passed. And she's there smiling. I love to hear what you think that? Because I can't, if anyone tells me Oh, that's just coincidence. Are you kidding me? Like,

Dr. Bernard Beitman 41:45
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no member I, we've talked about human GPS getting to where you need to be. Yeah, without knowing how you got there. Yeah, somewhere in your mind, and in the psycho sphere of the information was there. And you were feeling her having passed? Sure. And you were able to stumble across, I've had plenty of stories, just like this, that are very surprising to people. But one of them is like this couple that went to Lourdes and have a picture of them at Lourdes. And then one of the people have died in the, in the, in that couple and got married to somebody else whose spouse had also died. And they went back and look at the picture of the first couple. And in the background was a picture of the other couple.

Alex Ferrari 42:42
I've seen some of those on on social media and YouTube, you're like, what like they like, like, couples, who were both at Disneyland when she was like seven, and he was eight. And he was like, behind her in a shot with her and Mickey and it like, Yeah,

Dr. Bernard Beitman 42:58
I'm glad you. I'm glad you say that. Because that's weird. And that's common. Now that one with yours. There's another variation on that. Somebody needs money. And certain amount of money, it's fun, it's real fun when they get the right, the right amount of money they need right then and went rifling through a file cabinet that had been through before. And much like you came across what they needed, which was the money a refund that they had stored away someplace and forgotten was there. They, the memory is there. I mean, it's in you somewhere or it's around you somewhere. So it's not like you didn't have anything to do with it. But how you got there, again, I think is through kind of psycho spheric information that because you're still feeling her. And I'm feeling my father more and more lately, because it just had my birthday. And I think he's kind of like communicating with me in a way that I hadn't felt. I feel sometimes that we are able to make connections. And some people will say your aunt guided you to that. That and you might feel like that if you if you need to have a person or something guiding you we can make went up and that's not a bad suggestion. Or somehow you can know information in it through the psycho sphere yourself. But I don't know either one of those is good enough for me.

Alex Ferrari 44:18
Now, I'd love to ask you what do you what does quantum physics have to say about all of this? Is there anything that I can say to kind of make a little bit of sense of this?

Dr. Bernard Beitman 44:32
The reason reason get that for me is that when a famous quantum physics physicist Feyman, Feyman, Feyman said something like and it's this isn't exactly it, but he couldn't he because he couldn't make quantum mechanics into an introductory course. It meant he didn't understand quantum mechanics. And I like to think of people using the let me say the theory du jour, which quantum quantum physics is right now, to explain where it's stuff, I like to think it's here we are using hard to understand theory to explain a hard to understand phenomenon. And I so I don't go with quantum physics, I go with a field, that's the psycho sphere that is study Hubble, we can examine this this is like something science can approach the quantum thing. With the you probably know about the action, that spooky action at a distance

Alex Ferrari 45:44

Dr. Bernard Beitman 45:45
And people like to apply that to like simulpathity kind of thing. Well, those are small particles, they're getting bigger. They're able to entangle bigger particles, but there's a space between the micro world and the macro world. And there's, it's a good analogy. And it's a better than thinking about the way young use this. Synchronicity, a causal connecting principle. It's a step. It's a way of challenging us. I don't think it's, I can't go with it. Because there chaos theory, there's complexity. There's fractals as the other competing variables in trying to be able to explain coincidences.

Alex Ferrari 46:24
Well, did you hear this? Did you hear the it was once it was experiment, but they had there was these monkeys. Going back to your monkey analogy. There were monkeys on three or four different islands, and close together but they never like they couldn't see each other or talk to each other or anything like that. And then all of a sudden, one monkey on one of the islands figured out how to crack a coconut using a rock, let's say I think I don't know exactly what the exact thing. But he found a way to do something that everybody had been struggling with for a long time. And all of a sudden, all of the other monkeys on other islands started to figure that out too, at the exact same time. What is that?

Dr. Bernard Beitman 47:10
That's Rupert Sheldrake you're doing right there. Okay. And there's a his stories about these birds, some birds learn to open milk bottles,

Alex Ferrari 47:20
Similar sure.

Dr. Bernard Beitman 47:21
It's a, it's a. So once one of them starts figuring it out. And he used the term morphic resonance for that, and that they resonate. And then they resonate with each other. And it's part of what I think goes on in the psycho sphere. And let me give you a similar example for human beings. That's called simultaneous independent discoveries, that people in one place come up with an idea that other people in other places that are coming up with the same idea. It's evolution happened like that calculus, the discovery of a telephone, and a lot of stuff in, in. In modern computing, and in software, are simultaneous discovery, Stanford discovers one thing and over in Silicon Valley, they're doing the same thing. And are they communicating with each other? Apparently not. So there's, there's some psycho sphere ik thing. morphic resonance is something around us through which energy information gets exchanged. And your story about the monkeys and the birds and the simultaneous discovery suggest we're all feeding off some of the same information. And if you're looking, if your knee have a need, and you're open, it's like fishing up there. I like catching a fish up there. Like these stories, like an agent, a book agent, telling me, you know, over coffee, just tell me. I'm talking about coincidences and simultaneous discovery. So she says, you know, over the last month, I've had five authors. Tell me Don't tell anybody what I'm writing about. And all five are writing about the same.

Alex Ferrari 49:11
So it's very, very well, it's similar to the construction of pyramids. How is it possible that so many different so many different civilizations around the world who had absolutely nothing to do with each other, even oceans apart are building similar structures? At some time, sometimes similar times, sometimes different times? In they have nothing to do with each other. I just discovered that Japan on gold, they all have pyramids. I was like, as I got deeper into these kinds of conversations, I was like, Japan has pyramids and I saw a picture of Purdue and then of course, Indonesia and then obviously Egypt in in the mess of Americas and all of this even even here in the North America. There were forms of pyramids being created. Really. Yeah in the but nothing compare. Until at the end, there was a more crude version, but still the concept of a pyramid. So how did that happen? So it explains a lot of the things you're talking about there, there's a moment where there is that kind of information out there, which then leads us to this larger conversation of like, Well, what happened in the last 150 years that you and I are able to speak across the world on video, but 150 years ago, which is not even a blink in the, in the moment of this earth, it's less than a blink. All of a sudden, we have this capability, what happened in the in the ionosphere, as you say, that cause this insane growth of technology that we have not seen in our history? Or at least that we know of? At least that we know, at least me? Yeah, you know, you never know.

Dr. Bernard Beitman 50:53
I never know, it could be another iteration. And we've never had a situation where human beings are solely committing suicide. Yeah, as we destroy our planet for the six major six major extinction coming up. So what what we're doing technologically, I like to think I hope to think as a reflection of our own capacities, that, that the technology reflects what we're personally able to do. And we have to put it outside of ourselves. By by, by that I mean, that we can communicate this way. But we also may be able to commute can communicate telepathically that there are people who are remote viewers, and it's like having a webcam, but they can do it with their own minds. So that that maybe we can even fly because we got the airplanes to at least is a theory or bodies, we probably can fly. And it's something there to do. So there's, to me, there's capabilities and the technology has a positive side, if we can recognize it, that it shows how linked we actually are. When I think when I asked you to think about the psycho sphere, it's, it's a mental internet, some people call it it's the it's an and I want to map this mental Internet by using meaningful coincidences to show all these interactions that you did, asking for a job. And you sent that job application out over this mental internet. And somebody was like, hey, I need a guy that to do something. And I know the guy because I saw him four or five years ago. So you're a memorable character to this guy. So I like to think that it shows us what we can do. Unfortunately, this is a polarized place that we've chosen to live in Night and Day black and white, good and bad.

Alex Ferrari 52:50
Evil, duality. Sure.

Dr. Bernard Beitman 52:53
So we have technology that can be used badly and unethically and horribly and we're seeing surveillance technology coming on. That's mechana kind of restrict people's behavior because they're being watched in a negative way. Can we be can we turn this? And can we use this is my belief and hope? Can we use meaningful coincidences like synchronicity and serendipity to make it come out better than the direction it appears to be going.

Alex Ferrari 53:23
Well, I sure hope so. My friend,

Dr. Bernard Beitman 53:26
I sure hope I'm working on it.

Alex Ferrari 53:28
You're doing you're doing the good work, my friend. One last question. I wanted to ask you about the AI chain because I've never actually, I've dabbled in the course of my life with the I Ching. Can you explain what the I Ching is to people and how it is, if any way connected to synchronicities?

Dr. Bernard Beitman 53:46
Oh, it is oh, it's fundamental. Jung wrote an introduction to the Wilhelm version translation into German of the eaching. It's very much part of synchronicity. It's kind of it's a kind of domesticated synchronicity is like you bring it into your room and and throw the Yarrow sticks or throw the coins. And you come up with one of 64 readings in the I Ching. It's 64. But any of you who have done Biblio Mansi, as it's called, which is like a one on one, I'm going to do it myself and you open a holy book, holy to you, and you say, oh, man, okay, that says I should do this. The I Ching is a variation on that because when you throw six, something's Yarrow sticks or six coins, and you get three symbols that are yin and yang symbols, and there's each one has three lines in it. So you get three threes. You get two pairs of threes. And each one of those ends up being one of together becomes one of 64 Page Just or chapters in the I Ching, and you read that as what your future might be, it gives you an indication of it. It's very much like opening the book, it just makes it more complicated in its age old wisdom. And he got Zealand, a lot of people are translating it and making up their own stuff with it. And I don't know what the believe is, as a book. I do tarot card readings, which is a variation on Mantic, things, divining things. And there's something to it. A lot of people who do it, say there's their get good guidance out of it. There's a lot of ways to get guidance. And that's one way

Alex Ferrari 55:40
I love what you said, like there is a mystery around us. We don't know what it is. But we all feel it. And we all understand that there's something there. Some of us reject it. Some of us embrace it. But there's something going on, that we can't explain.

Dr. Bernard Beitman 55:53
There's something going on. And I like to say that meaningful coincidences are the mysterious hiding in plain sight.

Alex Ferrari 56:01
Very much. So my friend. Now tell me about your book Meaningful Coincidences? Where can people find it? And what's your hope for it?

Dr. Bernard Beitman 56:09
My hope, but it's two things. People can find it anywhere they look for books, I encourage you to find it in your local bookstore, support your local bookstore. I'm hoping to different things I'm hoping it reaches a lot of people who are interested in this subject, and it helps them feel not alone. And then helps them feel like they get an idea about this ethereal, ephemeral, uncertain thing called synchronicity is they get some better idea of what it is better concept of what it is, and recognize not only how useful it is, but also that there's a downside to to it. And also, the positive of it is a guess, to figure out how this psycho sphere might operate. So you can get that. And you can get the book anyplace and think about that the psycho spheres near the end, what I also hope it will do is function as a textbook, in my imaginary Earth University, I make this up, we don't have a football team. We don't have a building. But we just have me imagining it. And I'm like the chancellor of this thing. And we got a section of it that studies various forms of meaningful coincidence. So this is the introductory text to a course in meaningful coincidence.

Alex Ferrari 57:24
Now Bernard I'm gonna ask you a few questions asked all my guests. What is your definition of living a good life?

Dr. Bernard Beitman 57:30
I think part of it. And the whole thing I can't do, but part of it is, is learning and having fun. And fun and learning a go together. I mean, play is learning and can be learning and learning can be play. And I think I think we're here to learn about ourselves and what we're here to do that each of us has a purpose of function that can help humanity. And a lot of people feel it, and some people have distorted views of that. Or they misrepresent themselves. I mean, there's a lot of misuse. But people like you, Alex, have a good heart, and are trying to do so you're welcome and trying to do something good for the world. And that's good for you. And that's good for the people around you. It just and you. You like to learn and and he got to when you're doing these podcasts, but that's part of the fun of it. You get to introduce guys like interview guys like me is that oh, well okay, I learned something different I learned from you. And that's we like to learn and have fun and have some laughs And that's that learning entertainment interface is to me part of living a good life. It also is a pretty standard psychiatric thing or psychological thing is to have a good social network people who love you and that whom you love to be able to exercise and diet and get enough sleep Those are four basic things about being able to live a good life you got to have the functionality to be able to do what we're doing gotta you gotta be happier. You can't be like, Oh, which I get every once awhile and I'm so alone. Nobody likes me. Bad again. Be rejected from the roof. Why am I doing this coincidence stuff? It's so much problematic. And the electricity is good Mike go out on my house now and I have no that's part of human being is to go through that moanings but the idea, I think is to have the good be increasingly better, and the bad increasingly not so bad. And you keep going up.

Alex Ferrari 59:40
How do you define God? Just the easy question, sir.

Dr. Bernard Beitman 59:43
You might you might, you might get this one. When I was in high school, God was five feet of heaven in a ponytail. That's that's growing up. God is is a name people use for I use in a lot of different ways. And and for me God is a placeholder for the mystery. That's part of our lives. I think there is something that a greater intelligence, when I talk about the psychosis fear, I'm not saying that's all there is. I think there's more. And I just, it just seems like there's more. And part of my phone in my enjoyment, is being able to use coincidences to understand the mind of God.

Alex Ferrari 1:00:30
And the ultimate purpose of life is?

Dr. Bernard Beitman 1:00:31
And the ultimate purpose of life, we don't know. But my father in law used to say, is to get more life. And I don't think that's true. I think we got enough life living around on this planet, the purpose of life, I still think you have to add the purpose of life on earth. Because there may be afterwards, purpose of life on Earth, is basically to have a good time on this playground, that we've been given the opportunity to be on and not keep destroying it, and not have people grab all the money and have other people be poverty stricken. We have a chance to dance, and love and connect, and be happy and keep expanding our understanding of how reality works coincidences being one way, that's what I think we're here to do. And I'm trying to help that to happen.

Alex Ferrari 1:01:27
And do you have any final messages for the audience, my friend?

Dr. Bernard Beitman 1:01:31
The greatest thing you can ever learn is to love and be loved in return.

Alex Ferrari 1:01:40
Bernard, it has been an absolute pleasure talking to you, my friend. Thank you for the work that you're doing to awaken all of us in this planet. And I appreciate you my friend. Thank you so much.

Dr. Bernard Beitman 1:01:51
You're great, Alex. Thank you very much yourself.

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