Guided by Love from Beyond with Denise Roussel

Denise Roussel 0:00
That sets the stage for this amazing, epic healing journey

Alex Ferrari 0:05
You've gone through, arguably, I argue to say, probably the greatest pain a person can have

Denise Roussel 0:14
Died on a Sunday. We found out on a Monday, and I started laughing and crying at the same time, I just looked up to them, and I said, He's not here. He started appearing to me. He had this huge snake wrapped around his arm, and he was holding the snake's head in his hands, and the snake had his fangs bared. And I said, is it poisonous? And he said, No, and the implication was, it's not going to kill you. And he put the snake's head right in my face, and I screamed, no Cory, and I woke up crying, and you knew exactly what he was telling me, which was, he said, I need you to face your fears, mom, because you have a big job ahead of you, and it's going to require a lot of courage.

Alex Ferrari 1:24
Now, before we jump into this episode, if this conversation resonates with you, please like, subscribe and share this with whoever you feel that needs to hear it. Your support helps us keep bringing this information out into the world and helps us awaken this planet. Thank you. I like to welcome to the show Denise Roussel, how you doing Denise?

Denise Roussel 1:47
I'm doing fantastic. Thanks for having me.

Alex Ferrari 1:49
Thank you so much for coming. We met at the Ascension Conference. Yes, thank you so much. Oh, thank you so much. Thank you so much for coming to the conference and and then you reached out afterwards, and we're like, Yeah, you think you'd make a great guest, a great conversation. So thank conversation. So thank you for being here.

Denise Roussel 2:05
I'm excited to be here.

Alex Ferrari 2:06
Yes, so much. So you've gone through a few things in life. It's been epic. It's been a pretty epic journey for you. You've gone through, arguably, I argue, to say, probably the greatest pain a person can have by losing a child. I'm a father I can't even comprehend and how you dealt with that. We're going to talk about how you dealt with your son, Cory, passing his journey, his spiritual journey. But can you tell me? Can you share to me what happened with Cory and how his life was pretty he was sure he was 27 I think he passed. So it was a short life, but it was a pretty impactful life, and he went through a lot of enlightening things in dark places. So can you share with the audience what he went through?

Denise Roussel 2:59
First of all, I want to say that he lived more in his 27 years than most people did in 72 and so he's a pretty, pretty wild guy. In in one of his letters, he wrote that all life is cyclical. And he drew this little, this little indulating thing, and he said, and then he drew one that was just like this. He goes, this is my life. I'm going through the cycles very rapidly as I approach the end. And so for him, he was totally like light years beyond where most people are, and it was always outside of the box. And as a teenager, he began getting involved with alcohol, drugs, and wow, talk about crazy. It totally shook up our family. We had this nice, little, perfect, little Christian family. Everything was just peachy keen fun. I was this perfectionist, you know, I got to make sure everybody's going to do everything okay and ah. And by the way, I asked Cory after he passed, why did you come? And he said, I came to shake things up, and I had to be shaken up in the process. And so it started when he was 16, and went through some crazy stuff and and he wind up going to rehab, and we muddled through and 2009 he made it here to Austin, Texas. He found the ecstatic dance community, which is a big part of my life, and I wouldn't be here without it. And he found sobriety, and he found home and community, and his life completely changed, and he began to work. And volunteer and endear himself all over the community. And after about a year, he had a bicycle accident on the corner of Barton Springs Road. And back then, it's Asi Morton now, but it used to be. Robert E Lee, so think about this. Robert E Lee, that talks is max masculine energy, and Barton Springs that divine feminine energy right at that intersection. He was going, it was on a bike ride, group bike ride, and he was coming through the light, and somebody failed to yield on a left turn, his head impacted the wind sheet the window of the car, and it knocked him out and caught him from here to here. He survived it, but that head injury put him in a tailspin. And two, three months later, he said, I got to leave Austin and I'm going to take a Craigslist ride and go to San Diego. And so he went to San Diego, where he lived home, was on the streets and beaches of San Diego for two, three months, and then he decided, ah, I'm going to go to Tijuana to get some cheap motel and food. Well, the coyotes found him, and those are people that transport people illegally. And they said, Hey, you want a job? Oh, yay. And they said, it's a ticketable offense. Oh. He said, Well, great. You know, I get to bring somebody in and I get to go home. Well, he did it once, and then they said, No, we want you to keep doing it. And no, you can't really say no to those people. And so he said, I don't want to. He said, Well, we're not paying you until you do it again. So he did it again, and they set him up to get caught. So he spent four months in downtown, a federal correction center in downtown San Diego. And during that time, fam, I put together this memorandum, 70 page memorandum that had letters from family, friends, workers, volunteers, pictures of the accident, this sort of thing. And walked into that courtroom and for the sentencing, and the judge said, this is the most extensive memorandum that I've ever experienced in my career, and I could see the nature of the defendant doesn't fit the nature of the crime, vice versa. And basically said, I'm going to give Mr. Roussell time served and six months house arrest at his parents house in Baton Rouge. Now, mind you, that's a very toxic place for him to be. And also living with us, which wasn't exciting, and he wanted to go home to his his place, they wouldn't allow him. So he spent the next year getting just more and more angry that, yeah, they were just ruling him, and he, he failed the drug test, and so they revoked him. But three days before they revoked him, I had been praying. I just had it dropped into my heart to pray for him to experience forgiveness, and I had my husband at the time and my sister praying, and one Saturday like supernaturally, he just woke up and he had this supernatural experience of forgiveness, which he tried in All these step programs, but was never successful, and it put him in this place of unshakable peace. Well, three days later, the federal marshals come in, and they said, we could do this the hard way. Were we going to throw out all your stuff and kick in your teeth? Or we could do this the easy way where you just get your stuff together and we'll go on our business. So got his stuff together, and there he goes. And he even smiled for the mug shot, because he's like, nothing could shake me. All is well. And he said, I feel like I won the lottery, because he had decided he was going to transmute his prison sentence into a time of personal transformation. Wow. So he turned his jail cell into an ashram, a temple, a college classroom, a psychotherapist office, and he began to read prolifically and write and meditate and share. So meanwhile, he's writing all these letters, and he's sending me letters like we're all connected Now, mind you, I was a Christian, and I was like, that's. New information. Wow. And then he, like, maybe 10 times, asked me to read the book a new earth by ickertow, which I did. And then two, three months after I read it, I just decided it's time I am going to let go of everything I have ever believed, good, bad, right, wrong, tradition, religion. And I am going to go to the I don't know, and I'm going to tell you I felt like I got flung off into outer space, and I didn't know anybody besides Cory who was living like that, but there it went. And so even though we didn't say this at the time, but he became my guru.

Alex Ferrari 10:53
But why did you do that? What caused you to make such a drastic change in your life? Because as a recovering Catholic, I understand how, how that is, you're taking a massive leap into the unknown. And my my transition was years, little by little, little by little, I just didn't one day publicly go I renounce ridiculousness, but I did it slowly. You seem like you just did it overnight, cold turkey. You I did. You walked away from your programming.

Denise Roussel 11:25
There was, there was a by the time that this happened, I was the only one going to church by myself, instead of my family all being we all kind of went in different directions. And something happened with the pastor. And I was just like, I am done with all of y'all. I don't like the control that's happening here. And I just said, this is my time. And I think Cory was a big part of that, because he was writing all this stuff and telling me, I mean, he's reading, like, read 100 books, and he was telling me all this stuff, so I'm like, It's time, and yeah, so it changed the course of my life. It changed the course of his life. And little did I know that he was actually preparing me for his exit. So he spent a year, and he lived for another year and a half. The six months, the last six months, were this really special place of him. It's just enlightening and blossoming. Was he in prison this entire time? No, he got out in 2013 and he lived in 2012 the end of 2013, he lived for a year and a half, okay, out, yes, and the last six months, and he was living in Austin, and the last six months, which is pretty profound, and he was just also very prolific person. He did a lot of writing. I actually have that book, which is the Yeah, the the first one has probably 30, 40% of his work. There's a whole nother book that I published right after that edited and compiled letters from prison that I mean, this is, this is like he left his profound legacy and talking about everything you can think of under the sun. So anyway, going back to the story here, I was spending time with him, traveling back and forth to Austin, him visiting me, and just like his little disciple and he was planning a visit to come see me. He lived in Austin. I lived in Baton Rouge at the time, and he was stopping in Houston. He was going to spend a few days to visit with his best friend that he hadn't seen since he had been in prison, that he hadn't seen for two years. And well, he was supposed to catch a bus ride to Baton Rouge, but he wound up getting it was the wee hours of the morning. He wound up getting robbed, and I think, hit his head. This is, this is things that I've had to deduce myself from my own investigation. But he wound up getting a brain bleed. And so, you know, he'd had a traumatic injury before, and so this just like, triggered him, and it wigged him out. And then he kind of ran down, was downtown Houston. He ran down a couple of blocks, and there was a parking garage. It's a Sunday morning, like at 430 in the morning and and he didn't have, uh, it was, they had the gate and so that there's this little knee wall space that he could jump down into the parking garage, which he did. And he. Went down three levels. There was this, this big, yellow, like emergency phone, and there was a curb next to it, and he collapsed before he could call anyone. And then he crawled over and laid down what I call in his final shavasana, and he wasn't found until 18 hours later by the security guard. And it's really interesting that each soul they have their specific exit points, and he could have died before then, but actually, when he wigged out and he wigged out it he was running. He ran in front of a car. He could have gotten killed then, but it was all this perfection. The address where he died was 1111, Louisiana Street, either way. When he passed, it was my awakening. So we were as souls doing this work together for many lifetimes. And so 1111, new beginnings. I'm in Louisiana, boom, and it's the name of the building is center point enter energy building. Unbelievable, yes, so I didn't find out till the next day, and I got a call from the Harris County Medical Examiner's Office. I had been spending the whole day trying to find him because he didn't show up. And they called me, and I said, Is my son dead? And they said, Yes, and they didn't give me much information. I just was like, oh my god, oh my god, oh my God. They said, Do you want me to call you back? I said, No. And then I found out it was a homicide investigation. But honestly, I don't think anybody was trying to kill him. I just wanted his stuff. And I think it was just an accident, yeah, but nonetheless, that began this profound journey, grief journey. And I'm going to pause a minute before we go on, because you may have a question or two before it gets really interesting.

Alex Ferrari 17:18
What I find fascinating is that with his own transformation and his own awakening, he was preparing you for what he was about to do. So when this happened to you, you were arguably in a much better place. Absolutely, you would have been in the old world of you know, in your old programming, in your old belief system that would have probably brought you, I'm sure this brought you to your knees to, don't, no question Absolutely, but it would have been a much, it would have, I think, a deeper, darker pit, yes, for you to climb out of, if you hadn't have had this time to kind of transition a bit or awaken a bit more than

Denise Roussel 17:58
Exactly, in fact, it was as if, and I was receiving this transmission that that he was saying, I'm finished now, and I'm going to the other side where I can be of more service. And I received two gifts almost immediately, and they're very profound gifts that some people who've experienced this kind of trauma may never experience, and they're the gifts of acceptance and perspective. I knew something bigger than his death was going down, even though I was just like, completely sucker punched. Whoa. What just happened? There was still a part of me that was being so helped. Yeah, and then he died on a Sunday. We found out on a Monday, so on Wednesday, the family gathered to go see his body before he was cremated. And so we each decided to go in individually and spend time, and then at the end there's these chairs, and he's there, and everybody's sitting in the chair, and I'm standing there next to him, and all of a sudden I just felt this like whoosh, rush like cold water running up and down my body. And I started laughing and crying at the same time. And my family's over there. They think I'm losing it, sure, and and I just looked up to them and I said, He's not here. He's here.

Alex Ferrari 19:53
Oh, that's myself gone over well,

Denise Roussel 19:55
They just looked at me like I was crazy. But that was only the. First of many crazy things that you know,

Alex Ferrari 20:02
As you were going through this after the cremation, after he's, you know, been put to rest, in a sense, what was your weeks after that? Because you've you're unique in the sense that you're going through this awakening in this transition, while dealing with some of the greatest grief any human being can ever have. It's difficult enough to awaken without this. How did you What was your weeks and months after his, after the transition?

Denise Roussel 20:33
I think we need to go into days, because the day after that happened that next morning, right in that space right before you wake up. You know when you have this really lucid dream in between? Yeah. So he started appearing to me.

Alex Ferrari 20:49
Okay, so when you say appearing, do you mean

Denise Roussel 20:51
It wasn't a vision with my eyes? You said it was in in the room or in your mind's eye, in my like a dream in my drink? Yes, yes, he doesn't. He hasn't appeared to me in like a vision walking into the room, but he's done a lot of things in the physical and he's also most of the their dream states, and some of the dreams are that the lucid dreaming that. So this one was a really profound dream, and it set me on my course. He had this huge snake wrapped around his arm, and he was holding the snake's head in its hands, and the snake had his fangs bared. And I said, is it poisonous? And he said, No. And the implication was, it's not going to kill you. And he put the snake's head right in my face, and I screamed, no Cory, and I woke up crying, and you knew exactly what he was telling me, which was he said, I need you to face your fears, mom, because you have a big job ahead of you, and it's going to require a lot of courage. From that day forward, I made it a life's mantra to face my fear, allow and open to love that sets the stage for this amazing, epic healing journey.

Alex Ferrari 22:21
So when we as you're going through all of this, what's going on with the family, what's going on with the colleagues, like, what's

Denise Roussel 22:30
Everybody went in all different directions, and it's a very isolating experience. I'm not gonna lie, no one's supporting you. Well, I had a best friend that yeah, and then I got other friends here and there, but like my husband, emotionally shut down.

Alex Ferrari 22:54
And how did he do? Because he wasn't going through this awakening.

Denise Roussel 22:58
No, not, not yet, no, and, yeah, he basically, he was already pretty shut down, and he just like, shut down. And he was scared, because he saw me going through this transformation, like, I lost him. I'm gonna lose her too. So it wasn't easy. It wasn't easy, and that's why I felt so supported to have Cory, because that that was just the beginning of the journey he was. He's just been there. He's an ever present source. He's like, I'm closer to him now than I was when he was in his body. Sure, yeah. So as this is all evolving, and the experiences were so powerful, that's really what carried me through. It really wasn't a person in a flesh and body. It was the supernatural experiences I was having on the other side with him and other other beings.

Alex Ferrari 23:57
So tell me some of these. Tell me which a prolific one or profound one that you had

Denise Roussel 24:03
With him or with another? Okay, well, this one's I'm gonna fast forward to a few years ago. I'm just laying in my bed, meditating. And I do, I enjoy this meditation of where I imagine myself as this energy of love, and I start feeling love, and then I start expanding myself. And I'll expand into the room, and then I'll go beyond into the city and etc, until I'm going around the world and just feeling this feeling of love. And all of a sudden I notice myself like in this iridescent blue bubbles, like. Are everywhere. And then I see, I didn't know till afterwards, it was Mary Magdalene. She came across like this. She She had long hair. She went like this. And she said, Come with me. And I followed her. And then the next thing you know, I became this ocean of love. We were just, oh, there was no body. It's just that.

Alex Ferrari 25:28
And this is happening where in the dream state or No, I was always meditating. Oh, you're in the meditation. Yeah. Those are, yeah.

Denise Roussel 25:37
It was a Yeah. So anyway, so I just was in that spirit, place of pure bliss and loving, experiencing my true essence. And that was amazing.

Alex Ferrari 25:50
It feels a little overwhelming.

Denise Roussel 25:52
Yeah, it was just Yeah. It's just amazing. So Cory was continually, there wasn't like weeks going by before he especially in the beginning. I mean, he's like Johnny on the spot, and so creative with how he was going to support me. So a few days after, we had our first Memorial, five days after we found out he passed, we had one in Baton Rouge, and then two weeks later in Austin, so we had this amazing, epic Memorial, which I actually spoke for like 25 minutes. Most of it was his stuff that I was sharing. And we did a lot of really wild stuff, because Cory, he was really trying to shift paradigms. And I would like to share this, because it's part of his his journey, and that is, he had some really creative ways to show love and compassion and to really shift people's thinking about the homeless, the untouchables, and so one of them was he had this cardboard sign that wrote. He wrote on there reverse panhandling, and he stood on the corner, and when people came by and said, what is that? He threw money in their car and walked away laughing. Yeah, and another time, when he was down there in San Diego, he was really wanting to engage with people, so he's sitting on a sidewalk holding up a sign that said, free answers. Oh, you talk about be vulnerable. People come by. They chuck all they said, answers to what he said, questions. So soon, this woman stumbles up and she's obviously drunk, and she sits there, and she looks at him, and she says, Will I get my children back? He looked at her with such eyes of compassion, and he said, the fear that you have is preventing you from getting what you want. You spent some time with her. She invited him to spend the night on her sofa that night, but he was just that kind of person that he had posted little tear off flyers of free compliments around downtown Austin, just to make people feel good about themselves. It's beautiful. So we did those sorts of things at the memorial. Yeah, and we also, I didn't bring it, but there's those last six months before he passed, I told you, he called me one day and he said, Mom, it is our responsibility, it's our due diligence to share our life's inspirations and truths by which we live. And so he he started this project, which basically encouraging people to document and just in the document what was important to you. And he had a bunch of quotes and exposes in his project. And so when I received that, I said, Oh, I think I can make that into a little book where I put the quote on one side and the expose on the other, and I was just kind of like from Office Depot. I knew how to put it together, so I formatted it. And his birthday is August 22 by the way, he died in October, October 26 so a couple months before he passed. On his birthday, I hand him this books, and he's like, I wrote a book and I didn't even know it. Two and a half months later, he passed, and we distributed, like, over 500 copies of that book. And we had, we had we had it printed within the five days to distribute at the memorial and doing the proofing and everything. Unbelievable, unbelievable. Yeah, so the Wednesday afterward, I'm on my way to Austin and for the next Memorial, and it was another one of those lucid dreams right before I woke up, and he called me on the phone, and I swear it felt exact. I heard his voice, just like I hear your voice. And I said, Cory, you're here. And he said, I got you something for your birthday, which was the day after the Austin Memorial. Would have been. It was a few days before that date. Well, I said, Wow. Wonder what that's about. So the Austin Memorial afterward, one of the people, which is actually the dance ecstatic dance facilitator. His name's Oscar. He comes up to me, and he's got this lovely green and blue scarf around his neck, and he says to me, I went to this store. I just went in there. The name of it is called 10,000 Villages. He said, I didn't need anything, but I just felt inspired to go in there. And he said, I saw this scarf, and it reminded me of Cory. Mind you, it wasn't cheap, and he's taking it off as he does it, and he puts it on my neck.

Alex Ferrari 31:58
Wow, that's beautiful, yeah. How does Cory connect with you today? How does he How is he guiding you?

Denise Roussel 32:08
Just, just the same way your intuition. I can ask him questions, and he talks to me back. He sometimes still shows up in dreams,

Alex Ferrari 32:18
but so because a lot of people will have this question, how do you know it's not the voice that you're hearing? Is that your own mind and it's versus his, his energy coming through?

Denise Roussel 32:29
So, you know, we have this funny ideas about life,

Alex Ferrari 32:36
Many, many

Denise Roussel 32:38
And so, yes, we're here in this individuated fractal versions of source as you go up. Yeah, there's, you know, Archangel Michael and Mary and all these beings. But the truth is, is that we're one. When you get up there, it's one. So it's really kind of silly to worry. Oh, is that just me? Am I making that up? You can think that, but you are actually part of the one. So what's the message telling you? Yeah, but actually there, there's so many things that he's said to me. I'd like to share a few of them, please. They're like one liner truths that have helped me across the board, and it's not things that I would normally come up with myself. One of them was that thing when I asked him, Why did you come? And he said, I came to shake things up, and I had to be shaken up in the process. Another time, I got off the phone with a very challenging conversation with a family member, and I'm like, oh, Cory, what do I do with that? And he said, that's her reality. Let her have her reality.

Alex Ferrari 34:08
Of course, wow.

Denise Roussel 34:11
We don't have to have it our way. We don't have to have people think like us, correct if they they think that, you know, Martians are gonna land on the White House lawn and and invade United States. Let them just let them tell your business

Alex Ferrari 34:31
Those are not hurting anybody,

Denise Roussel 34:32
Yeah, yeah. And really, just coming back to myself.

Alex Ferrari 34:39
Well, it's, it's, it's about meeting people where they are. Yes, it's about meeting people because there's certain, there's certain, you know, you I deal with it with the show all the time. Some people will watch something that's so far beyond their programming that they lash out. I'm like, this is the devil's work. You're talking to demons. I'm like, these the. Are horrible at their job, because all we're talking about is love and connection, so, but they can't do the disconnect. But yet, when I always find fascinating is they're watching. So if you're watching this kind of because there's a lot of content out there that I just would never watch, yeah, I wouldn't go into someone else's show and just go, this is wrong. How dare you like, just nothing I would do like, do you. I'll we'll do us exactly, just but so are you hurting anybody Exactly? If you want to, if you want to have your belief system, that's fine. It's silly. All of it is stories. Yes, it is. It's all stories that we have been either programmed when indoctrinated, to our family, our friends, our society, our countries, our religion, these are just stories. That's all it is. And our belief system is based on the stories that we believe in, you know? So if my story is like, My God is the only god, yeah, he has feathers. He lives in the he lives in the sky. I mean, whatever the story is, whatever the thing is, and you come along and you tell me, Well, my God is all loving, and we're all connected in one and I completely love you and accept you. I'm like, I can't have that. Yeah, I must kill you now, because if your God exists, and my God can't exist, and if my God can't exist, my entire foundation gets shaken to the point where I need to the equilibrium of my universe has been thrown off whack. I must kill you and people like you to make to reaffirm my story is the right one, exactly, from a place of ego,

Denise Roussel 36:30
Yeah! So we're entrenched in that illusion of separation, course, humans, and that's our identity. So it's really, it's really like my identity is at stake here,

Alex Ferrari 36:40
Right! And that's the thing, and when and when people challenge that indirectly, just by existing, just by existing, you know, as a as a Catholic, I always, I always see, always ask the priests and Catholics, well, I'm like, so we're the chosen ones, right? But I heard the Jews were the chosen ones, or I heard these other groups who are chosen like, no, no, they're all wrong. Where that where they're fascinating, where the chosen one? I'm like, Okay, so we're the chosen one. So what happens to the other 4 billion people at the time on the planet who don't believe in Jesus, don't believe in Catholicism? What are the Buddhist How about all the Hindus? There's a few of them out there, do they all just go to hell and those Well, that's our job to change, to spread the word of the gospel and and convert everybody to our belief system. I was like, wow.

Denise Roussel 37:32
And I was one of those,

Alex Ferrari 37:34
Of course, of course. And you're like, huh, isn't that amazing? It just, it. Just find it so fascinating how people, how people's belief systems, and I'm assuming you ran into it with your with your family and friends, that their belief systems could not accept anything like this.

Denise Roussel 37:52
Well, one of my kids became Catholic as as as an adult, he did not appreciate what I was doing,

Alex Ferrari 38:08
The thing is that he probably went, is he Yeah? So he probably went into Catholicism, for he was searching for something, and he was the brother of Cory, or

Denise Roussel 38:17
Yeah, and and Cory traumatized him,

Alex Ferrari 38:21
Right! So he needed some story. He needed something to keep him safe, correct? And by being in this community, by believing in that story and those stories, it gave him sense of foundation of, yes, safety, exactly. And then Mom's going off, you know, meditating, crazy, says that she's talking to my dead brother.

Denise Roussel 38:44
They lost their brother, and now they lost their mom,

Alex Ferrari 38:47
Right which it's fascinating how human beings react to grief, which is what we should talk about next. So many people listening right now have lost someone could be their child or could be their significant other, could be a dear friend, but they're going through grief, and they're watching this to see how they can transcend that grief. What advice do you have for someone who's going through or has gone through very deep, traumatic grief, either the same as you, because I do believe it's one of the worst pains on the planet to lose a child, because it's unnatural. You lose Grandma, it's part of the natural cycle. But when you lose when you lose a child, and it's still not easy when grandma goes but we don't expect it. And, yeah, but when, and but when, you know your grandma's 95

Denise Roussel 39:35
You're right, but you don't expect when your kid dies,

Alex Ferrari 39:37
Absolutely not, or your spouse, or something like that, that that's not the way it should be. Again, holding on to what you believe should happen as opposed to accepting what is happening. Can you explain? Can you give some advice on on how to deal with this grief for people who might not be ready to go down the path you went down as far as an awakening or or even believe any. Anything you're saying this wacky, crazy story that you've thrown out there. You're talking to your son, who's on the other side. This is insane beyond that, just not the practical human to human. How did you How would How would you advice would you give to people dealing with this right now?

Denise Roussel 40:18
Well, I'm glad you asked that, and by the way, I do have, and you'll find in the comments that will have a link tree, I have a support document to help about this process yes, so the very first thing is to slow down and get still.

Alex Ferrari 40:38
Oh, that's so scary, because you have to face the fangs. Yes, you have to face yourself. You have to face your fears.

Denise Roussel 40:44
Yes. So most of the time, and I see this over and over, people do the opposite. They get really busy to distract themselves, or the alternative, numb themselves, self medicate. Yeah, and there's nothing wrong with those things, but you may get tired of it, and you may be tired of suffering and pushing away those feelings, the absolute first thing to do is to get still and to learn how to start being present. So that was something Cory had already taught me and modeled. And I like to use a stillness practice as opposed to, I mean, I still meditation practice is great, but I feel there's a lot of energy behind the word meditation and ideas of what it should be. I would like to talk a little bit about stillness. When Cory passed, I'd already started meditating sporadically, and I pretty quickly realized, uh oh, I got to get really still and slow down a lot, and so what stillness does is it calms the over stimulated nervous system. So suppose, in this glass of water that I put some sand in there and I stirred it all around, well, you wouldn't be able to see through the glass, but over time, it's going to settle down, and now you can see clearly. So I like to think about this. Here we are as a divine, limitless being, says love itself, the most powerful force that exists. And here we are as humans, feeling very separate from the very love that we are going through all this trauma. And what we're doing here is we're bridging this gap, so as we're going through our healing journey and we're able to meet this human that feels so separate from love, we're like, boop, boop, boop, and so we're bridging that gap. And the first thing is to just take some time every day, slow down. And I, I've been encouraging people who've never meditated before to take five minutes when you first wake up in the morning, sit in a chair, the same chair with your feet planted on the ground and your back straight. I don't recommend you sitting in it in a cross kneed pose, because that's not comfortable and you're now going to do it. We want this to be so natural, like you're brushing your teeth, you don't even think about it. Just get up, you sit in that chair for five minutes. I like to use an app called Insight Timer. And on there I it has a little thing starting in an ending Bell, and it has little you can put the ambient music. What happens when you hear these sounds, your body goes into a parasympathetic response, bypassing the brain to say it's okay. Now you can settle down be safe. So you sit there. Don't even worry about not thinking. Don't worry about anything. You could be thinking about the grocery list. You could be thinking about how mad you are at somebody. Don't worry about it. Just sit there. So you can't do that wrong. You really can't. So start with five minutes when five minute feels completely comfortable, add a few more minutes and then keep building that practice. One of the things that's so important to me is that I'm learning how to be super gentle and kind with myself, because your higher self is not going to fall. Force you to do things. That's your spiritual ego. So everything I do, I do not force myself to meditate. I get to do that, and I don't try to make myself be with my feelings when I'm not ready. That's an act of aggression. I just sit there and allow the sand to settle. It's kind of like if we were here and there was like this kid throwing himself on the floor, throwing a temper tantrum, we wouldn't be able to hear each other, and you wouldn't be able to talk to that kid, right? You got to let them just let it, let it go. And then later, yeah, and then you're going to say, hey, come over here. Tell me what was going on. Come sit on my lap. So first thing is that stillness. And I like to encourage people to ask yourself, what is my end goal? Is it 10 minutes a day? Is it 20 minutes a day? Not everybody needs to do an hour a day. I do but I do that, but that's my my dharma. So keep it simple. 10 minutes a day is amazing, and then if you get triggered through the day, go, find yourself place to sit down for five minutes, first step.

Alex Ferrari 46:26
That's absolutely true. I mean, I like that. I liked your positioning of stillness versus meditation, because meditation does come a lot of baggage of what should be, what it shouldn't be, yes, all that kind of stuff. As you know, I meditate as well. Every day, I try to at least, at least an hour, hour and a half, sometimes even two. My goal is three hours a day. As my spirit guide Connie tells me, all the time, you need to meditate longer, longer one but that's my path. It's not for everybody. Some people, five minutes is is a beginning point. 20 minutes is fine. It's just enough time for you to settle the body. Settle them. It's not the body. Settle the mind and the body will follow. Yeah. But I like that. I like the stillness aspect of it,

Denise Roussel 47:12
Yes. And I think what we're doing is we're here to remember who we are and why we came and this story of Denise and this body and this story is so loud and so programmed into us that we think we're just this human flailing around. And truth is, is that, Oh, that's such a tiny little part of who we are. So as we keep opening to the love that we are, we begin to identify as love sent here, not sent here, volunteered to come here to take care of this little human that feels so separate from love and life.

Alex Ferrari 48:03
Denise, let me ask you, I love you to touch on this, because, again, people watching who are going through grief, they want to understand why, why did it happen? Why me? Why him or her? Why did this? What's the purpose of all of this? And I love to put it in the lens of the soul blueprint, the soul plan that we come down here. You've mentioned, kind of hinted upon that Cory, and you have been doing this dance for many lifetimes. And sometimes you might be the parent. This time, you're the parent, he's the child. Sometimes she's the parent, you're the child. And in all the different parts of that soul family that you are in. Can you explain to people, in just your experience, from speaking to Cory, and I'm assuming at one point or another, you had the question, Why? Why did this happen? Why did I have to go through this? Why did he have to go through all of this and explain the soul blueprint a little bit to people who might not be, not might be, might not know about it.

Denise Roussel 49:05
Yes. So when we're looking at life through the human lens, it's kind of like this going around, I get to only see, and it's even like flashes of that we see it's so limited. And then as we begin the scales start to come off, and we begin to say, oh, there's a little more to life, we begin to have a wider vision, and we see the bigger picture. It's kind of like getting in the helicopter, you know, if you're if you're on the stage and we're having this big old argument, this big old thing, oh, it looks bad, and you look so scary, and you hurt my feelings. And then, then, if I'm over there and I'm watching the movie, and I already I know what's going on, that's just the part before. Or, you know, we make up and then we go off into the sunset. Sure. Okay, so, yeah, I think it's so traumatic, especially losing one of your kids, or, you know, people that are close to you that we're entrenched in this viewpoint that's so limited. But when you start relaxing, and this is not to say that you when you expand and you see a picture that you can't feel and experience being human. Oh, I still can feel all those feelings and see that viewpoint, but it's like I'm being the actress as well as the director and producer and creator, script writer of this play. And so I would like to talk a little bit about Cory's journey and other people's journey, and especially when it comes to people who've whose person has died by suicide or drug overdose, or things like that, which we have so many stigmas, it's just like compounding the trauma when your person dies by suicide because you already feel isolated because you lost your your kid, and then the next thing you know that people think something wrong with your kid that he, he or she did that it's like, wow, we're so crazy. It don't work that way. It don't work that way at all. Yeah, each soul has a job here to do, and no matter what their exit point looks like, no matter what their life looks like from the human lens, know that they are playing a critical part in the evolution of the whole they're playing a valuable part. When I think about Cory's and my story, he picked the harder role. He picked the harder role. It is not easy, being an alcoholic addict, wow. And we have so much judgment around these things. Well, I know, for Cory is like badass, spiritual gangster. I'm gonna go down there. I'm gonna do that thing. I'm gonna march straight down into hell. You know, you think your, your person, did something wrong. That's that's absolutely not true. If you're going to transform or heal something, you have to go down into it. And here we are as humans. We must explore every aspect of humanity, especially the darkest, most depraved aspects, we're all God in costume. We're all playing a role as part of the whole, even if that role is being the villain, that's part of the thing. Would you go to the movie if there was Star Wars, if there was no Darth Vader? Of course, no you would boring movie, and you need Darth Vader. You need contrast. You need it and and the souls like you know, Cory put me through hell and my family through hell. Thank you, Cory,

Alex Ferrari 53:31
Can I ask you? Can I ask you a question, the awakening that you're going through and the time period that both you and Cory decided to come down here in it's very interesting to me, because 100 years ago, if both of you would have had the same story, because there was alcohol back then, he could have gone down the you know, he could have been a drunken at the Western or something along those lines. But you chose this time period to go through this, because I don't believe any time in the past this would have been nearly impossible, exactly, you know, unless you were maybe, maybe, maybe, if you were born in India, yeah, maybe, if you were born in the East, where the awakening and that it's more cultural, and might, maybe it's a big maybe, but you would have been a woman, so that would have been Rough, you know, in that time period as well. So you've guys chose this time period to go through this. He did, and then you did. You've been around a little bit longer than he was. Do you believe that this is a very special time in human history, exactly? Is that why you chose this time to be here?

Denise Roussel 54:40
Yes, and it's so think of humans evolution as a whole. We're progressing as a whole. And you correctly said, you know, like we chose this time, 2030, years earlier that I would none of these, like these books you have here. And the thing. That he experienced that would not have been available. And so we're all growing together as a big unit, although it feels like we're all doing this separate thing, we're all working together. So whenever you're having conflict with another, that's part of the game, that's part of the game. And they these souls, especially the ones like Cory, that went through some really tough stuff and brought us through a lot of tough stuff, they basically are paying a great price to help my evolution. It's the cost of their own suffering. That villain they're suffering. They're paying a price to play that role, and it's okay, because behind all of that costume is love,

Alex Ferrari 55:57
Because it's what everything's made of.

Denise Roussel 55:59
It is so part of my healing journey. I want to share this analogy of the beauty and the beast. The beast is the prince in disguise as the beast, and he must have the kiss of unconditional love to set him free. And Belle can't know that He's the prince, right? She must love him as the beast, and when she kisses him,

Alex Ferrari 56:32
Magic, magic happens.

Denise Roussel 56:34
Yeah, he becomes the prince. So what was shown to me is the beast is fear, and I'm going to put all of our stuff in that one word, fear. And when we're able to love and accept our fear as it arises, it morphs back into the love that it is. This is the journey that we're on my sadness is my joy in disguise as sadness. When I'm able to love and accept my sadness as it arises, it's transmuted back into my joy my anxiety is my excitement for life and my peace. I can transmute that. My anger is my power and my passion, and is very highly energetic when I'm able to love and accept my anger as it arises. I come into my power and my passion.

Alex Ferrari 57:47
Now I wanted to touch upon your new book here, creating soulful creating a soulful space and a practical guide to self love. Space stands for something. Can you explain to people what that stands?

Denise Roussel 58:01
Yeah, and this is the acronym for the process. Is space, so stillness, we talked about that presence. I'll go into this a little more in a sec. The A is authenticity and acceptance. The C is connection with compassion, and the E is empathy, and so I need to before I go any further. Let you know that through this process, I began to work with myself like I'm the love. I am the parent called Love, I am the divine, limitless being that is here to take care of and reunite this human back into love. And I do that by while I envision each of these feelings as like a little versions of me, I wonder if you'd like to do a little exercise.

Alex Ferrari 59:04
I'm always game. Let's go.

Denise Roussel 59:06
Okay, let's close our eyes. And can you think of something that has made you really, really sad? I don't need to know it. Just think about something and feel that sadness for a second now, envision a younger, smaller version of you, your sad one in front of you, in your mind's eye.

Alex Ferrari 59:32
Do you see him? Does You mean a younger version of myself?

Denise Roussel 59:35
Yes, and he's the sad one, Yes, sure. He feels that sadness. You just just talking about you see him, okay. Can you smile at him and then just say you're welcome to be here? Sadness,

Alex Ferrari 59:56
you could say it out loud, you're welcome to be here. Sadness, you.

Denise Roussel 1:00:00
And now, what is sadness doing?

Alex Ferrari 1:00:04
Being thankful okay for the acknowledgement,

Denise Roussel 1:00:07
Yes, okay went over their eyes. So I think for some people, when I ask, what is he doing, he may say, looking confused. You. Because you don't usually allow me to be here. And so what I've learned is that I had to build trust with my human so let's suppose you were my enemy, and I can't stand you, and you can't stand me. And then one day I say, Hey, Alex, I want to be your friend. Do you want to be my friend? What would you say to me?

Alex Ferrari 1:00:52
Depends. There's a lot of

Denise Roussel 1:00:53
No. What would you say to me? I mean to you, I've been horrible. I would be very you would say no. Be very skeptic, skeptical. You say no because it don't trust you. That's it. Yeah, yes. So here's this human part of us that we've been programmed to push away, deny, nom, distract, and they don't trust us as far as they could throw us. So if I would just like make you I'm going to make you be my friend, then not going to work. That's just an act of aggression. So we have to be start slow. That's just like step one that I just told you there. Slow down and acknowledge and say you're welcome here. So the next thing is P presence. So this is going to, this is so simple, all this sitting chair for five minutes a day, and now we're going to practice presence. Okay, right now I am going to just share what I'm experiencing in my body here, okay, I feel my forearm on this desk here. I feel my hair on my ear here, and my other arm here, and my seat in the chair, and I feel the cool air on my feet, and I see the blinking light over there. So what are you experiencing in your physical body now,

Alex Ferrari 1:02:24
Feeling the desk, feeling my arms on the desk, feeling the chair, and just being

Denise Roussel 1:02:31
Okay. So that seems pretty simple, like when I drink this glass of water. Thank you. I'm looking at the water. I'm tasting it. Look at my food. I smell my orange when I peel it. Oh, when I look at you, I'm like, looking to you in the eyes. I'm listening to you. And so these are, like, super simple things, like, when I'm sweeping the floor, I feel the broom in my hand, I'm looking at the dirt, like zoning in I'm chopping some vegetables, like, oh, man, I'm just like, going straight into it. So that's practicing presence. So most people, they say, Oh, I got to be present with my feelings. Well, they've never been present when there's no drama and trauma around, you're not going to be able to do that unless you're able to be present when there's no drama and trauma and you do that in the most simple ways. Take a breath with me. Look around. Oh, wow, I'm here pausing throughout the day to think, Oh, let me think of my breath. Oh, look at there's the cameras over there. You know, it's a nice microphone. You've got a really nice space over here. Yeah, so it seems so strange that is so freaking simple, but it'll change your life. It's like working out in the gym. You don't start with 50 pounds, start with five pounds, 10 pounds, and you build up. So then we move on to authenticity with an acceptance. You know, we're not so authentic with ourselves. We like to lie to ourselves. We don't like to feel bad. Everything within us says, No, I don't want to feel angry or sad or anxious, and so I'm going to avoid that part of me. And believe it or not, you can be sad and joyful at the same time. You can be anxious and peaceful at the same time that clock has Cory's birthday on it. Why the way? That's one of the ways he shows so. So turns out that learning how to be honest when you feel even the slightest little niggle of a feeling is so important, because now you get to say, Ah, I'm feeling a little sad. Now I'm going to acknowledge the presence of this sad one, or whatever it is. So we start learning how to be authentic. And then there comes the acceptance. You know, usually all the problems we have, all the hard stuff in life, it's not actually the hard stuff that bothers us, it causes us problems. It's our resistance to it, of course. So instead of like I'm feeling horrible, like I don't know how I'm going to pay my rent, I'm so anxious I can't stand this, what am I gonna do? I'm panicking when you're able to just like, oh, look, you there. I'm anxious, and it's okay. It's okay to be anxious. It's okay to be sad, that that acknowledgement, it's okay to be and then a feeling is like unlocking, allowing. So like, when you resist, you contract, oh, feel horrible. And then when you say, Hey, it's okay to feel anxious, start allowing. It is what it is. I have this situation now it just is. And so now you got something to work with, because you're not so uptight. And then we move into connection. We talked about building trust. So the next step would be to be learn how to watch your once you start being present and saying you're allowed to be here, learning how to speak to this part of you, these parts of you. And this is where emotional intelligence comes in, which is also a good bit of this book. You know, if you ask somebody like, how you doing, how you feeling right now? Good, of course, it's like we don't even have the vocabulary. Never thought about it. Well, I'm feeling excited, a little nervous, peaceful. Super joyful, yeah. So being able to have the range to not only feel but to recognize what you're feeling and to acknowledge those parts of you that feel separate from love and life. It's like making friends with yourself. And so now it's no longer, oh my gosh, I cannot be anxious. Oh guilt, oh my gosh, guilt and shame. Oh, we run so fast we can't do that thing, jealousy. Oh, they're so bad. You know, it's okay to feel guilty. It's okay. So I kind of want to talk a little bit about this progression of human evolution. You touched on it a minute ago. So here we come along down the road, and, you know, the 70s, and we have all this stuff coming up, and people are starting to wake up little bit, little bit, little bit. Then we come around the 2000s and we have Eckhart Tolle, and he's brought us this amazing gift to be able to say, Oh, you're gonna have these feelings. Just observe them. And you know, we can't, like, go from here to here in in terms of evolution, you know, you have to take a step, steps along the way. So he really grounded this idea of It's okay, just observe yourself and be with it. Okay, then so part of this next stage was something I'm really excited about this book, and this process is like the next juicy thing to bring us in connection with our human so I'm going to tell you a little story. Suppose there's a kid, and he's been bullied on the playground, and he's really upset, but he comes home and he starts acting out, and he's throwing his little temper tantrum and doing all this stuff because he's upset. And the parent could say to him, Well, if you want to cry, go to your bedroom, because I don't want to hear it. Or they could say, if you want to cry, I'll give you something to cry. Or they could say like Eckhart Tolle would say, Okay, you're welcome to cry. Just go over there in the living room. I'll be over here. You're safe, and just do your thing. So this next step is connecting and empathizing is when they finish throwing their little fit, come over here, sit on my lap, tell me what's going on. Come over here and tell me all about it. Now, honestly, we don't have this vocabulary. We have never been modeled that or trained that you have to develop that. And so the little kid says, I got pushed down on the playground and I skinned my knee, and I don't know why they're so mean to me, and I feel so horrible. And the parent was like, let's put a band aid on there. Let me kiss it. I'm so sorry. You're safe now I'm here.

Alex Ferrari 1:11:24
Yeah, you feel it.

Denise Roussel 1:11:26
This is how we connect with these parts of herself. Think about it, these human parts of herself suffering so much and we don't want to have anything to do with them.

Alex Ferrari 1:11:49
Denise, thank you so much for sharing all of this with us. I'm going to ask you a few questions, as you know, because you've watched a few of these episodes that I ask all my guess and kind of a rapid fire thing, what is your definition of living a fulfilled life?

Denise Roussel 1:12:06
Hmm, doing what you love, being being present with joy and life and love, being alive.

Alex Ferrari 1:12:19
If you had a chance to go back in time and speak to little Denise, what advice would she give you? Would she give? Would you give her?

Denise Roussel 1:12:23
Everything's gonna be okay. It's gonna be kind of tough for a while, but don't worry, everything's gonna be okay. I've got you.

Alex Ferrari 1:12:31
And what advice would little Denise give you today?

Denise Roussel 1:12:34
Don't be so uptight. Try to control everything, and you don't have to be perfect.

Alex Ferrari 1:12:44
How do you define God or Source?

Denise Roussel 1:12:47
Love

Alex Ferrari 1:12:47
What is love?

Denise Roussel 1:12:50
It's the most powerful force that exists. It's the divine matrix that holds us all together. It's all that is, all that ever was, all time, all space, and we are all fractal versions of that connected together as one, although it's not apparent to us,

Alex Ferrari 1:13:09
If you could ask God or source one question, what would it be?

Denise Roussel 1:13:12
Well, I can, and I do, and it's like, how can I be of greater service?

Alex Ferrari 1:13:18
How do you define liberation in this lifetime?

Denise Roussel 1:13:21
Inner liberation, inner freedom, being able to know that all is well, anything is possible, Nothing is impossible. Identifying as this higher self and being able to nurture this human self as it arises every time this human self is having a difficult time, just being able to say, come over here and tell me all about it, that's freedom, and what is the ultimate purpose of life, to live it fully.

Alex Ferrari 1:14:05
And where can people find out more about you and pick up a copy of many, one of your many books, but your new book creating a soulful space, and your classic beyond the space?

Denise Roussel 1:14:14
Yes. So, um, I have a website called creatinganewearth.org, and I also have healingheartssupport.com because I've started a support group for bereaved parents. And, you know, really want to take a moment to to talk to bereaved parents, because I've noticed that it's, it's really, really difficult to to open ourselves to getting support. There's so many barriers. But I want you to know there's a safe space here, a safe space where you can connect with your. Self, with me, with other people, to be able to get guidance through this journey, because you don't have to do this alone. It can be such an isolating experience. And one of the things that I've been passionate about is is opening up the space for bereaved parents to be able to connect with their loved ones. And it's it's not as hard as you think. And so you know, if that's you and you're really interested in moving forward and to start beginning this journey of of opening to this to this love, into being able to deal with this intense, intense grief. Reach out to me. I also the books are available on Amazon. The there's links in the description, and there's also a link tree in the description that has the support document I talked about stillness. That's just step one. But there are several things in this initial support document just to ground people, because there's, it's so discombobulating, and so there's, there's specific practices to help you to just where do I begin? Yeah, so avail yourself to that through the link tree document. And we have a Facebook group. I have social media presence, so all of it's there creatinganewearth.org.

Alex Ferrari 1:16:31
And do you have any parting messages for the audience?

Denise Roussel 1:16:35
Ah, I want to say thank you to Cory, my spirit guides, my angels, ascended masters to you for this opportunity to be here, my heart goes out to all those people who are suffering so deeply and grieving the loss of their loved one. You're not alone. We're here with you all is well, it's okay, it's okay.

Alex Ferrari 1:17:06
Denise, it's been such a pleasure, and thank you so much for being so vulnerable and sharing so much about your journey, Cory journey, and I hope this really does help people watching from now and for many years to come as they continue to watch us. So I appreciate you and everything. You and everything you and Cory are doing to awaken this planet. So thank you.

Denise Roussel 1:17:26
It's my pleasure, and thank you for having me.